Original subtitles

And roll

my kingdom for thee, I'm a-roll'd, for the heat of curp-y, I'm a

-roll'd, for I've just had a great idea.

Something I've been looking for a long time.

A very long time, Joseph.

How many times have you been in and out of the country?

Many times, many times.

I should say, yes, twelve times.

Ever had a problem at the border at Customs?

Ah, they know me.

Joseph, you're going to be very rich.

Do you like that?

I like that.

It will be some time before I see you again, Joseph.

I will wait for you.

This is... You don't even know who I am or where I am.

First, my name is not really Elizabeth Lip.

But please call me that.

It's convenient.

And I am in Turkey, in Istanbul, in the Seraglio.

This is where the old Sultans lived.

They had a lot of wives and other treasures.

So they made the palace bigger and bigger.

Like each of the buildings here, this little shack contains works of art

unique in the world.

The entire Seraglio is now a museum.

The fabulous Topkapi Museum.

But... But there is one special room.

That's why I'm here.

I'll show you.

Birds, rubies, and pure solid gold.

This is the famous throne of Shah Ismail.

No king or emperor ever sat on a throne more precious.

From every corner of the earth, gifts made to the Turkish empire.

But I will give you all of them...

for just one dagger.

Encrusted with diamonds and emeralds.

The four greatest emeralds the world has ever known.

Dazzling.

Lawless.

All four are priceless.

There is one that is perfection.

It has life.

It is warm.

It has nerves, senses.

Oh, forgive me.

A strange thing happens to me.

Difficult to explain.

I'm going to have it.

It's going to be mine.

I didn't finish introducing myself.

I am safe.

Good.

Excuse me, madam.

Yes, hotel Georges Saint.

We are going to send you to the hotel.

Thank you.

You're welcome, madam.

Thank you, sir.

Taxi!

A gun is one thing.

Intelligence is another.

Since I'm more afraid of intelligence... Hotel Georges Saint.

Here.

Ask for your old tricks, Walter.

Hello, Elizabeth.

What brings you here?

That old magnetism I was drawn to you.

It took three years to get that old magnetism to work.

How's the captain?

My successor.

He took three days for the magnetism to wear off.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Cannibal.

It's like Chinese food.

One hour and you're hungry again.

What do you want?

You.

Business?

Pleasure?

So many questions.

Let's go and eat.

I am hungry.

Where?

My studio.

Still the same?

Slight change.

You have lost none of your skill.

Darling, you two.

I was talking seriously.

I too.

You're never serious except when it comes to stealing emeralds.

It's a living.

Well... It's too tough.

But I'll do it.

I knew you would.

On one condition.

Granted.

I pick the crew.

As always.

Not as always.

This time... with amateurs.

Amateurs?

Only amateurs.

All right, I give up.

My favorite pupil.

Sit down.

Lesson one.

The three cardinal rules of theft.

How Swiss you are.

Eins, zwei, zwei.

Right.

Eins, plan meticulously.

Zwei, execute... Cleanly.

Right.

Don't get caught before enduring.

Or after.

That's right.

The Istanbul emeralds.

The most protected jewels in the world have been stolen.

Alarm system.

Check Cedric Page, London.

Cedric Page?

What's that?

You will meet him.

Now!

The emeralds are gone.

Policemen of the world, unite.

Jaskot Landyat, FBI, Turkish police.

What do you do?

What do I do?

You eliminate the riffraff.

Obviously, this is a class job.

You take out the dossiers and the top professionals.

The elite.

How many are they?

Not more than half a dozen.

And all known.

But there is no dossier on Elizabeth Lip.

Not even Elizaveta Lipmanova.

Because you have been lucky.

There is no dossier on Walter Harper.

Not even Leip Haverly.

Because I have been efficient.

What you would call Swiss.

Leblin.

So there must be no police record on anyone who works with us.

Where do you find this little white innocence?

That's my job.

What do you say?

Amateurs?

He has many children, Cedric Page.

None.

These are all his own toys.

Come, look at this parrot.

I don't like parrots.

This one isn't real.

I'm beginning to wonder if anything is real.

I'm beginning to wonder if anything is real.

And well you may, dear lady.

Like the old faith healer of Diehl, who said although pain isn't real,

when I sit on a pin and it punctures my skin, I dislike what I fancy, I feel.

I'm Cedric Page.

How nice of you to come, Walter, and to bring Miss Leip.

How do you do?

I see you've already met by recording Polly amusing toys, isn't she?

Oh, very.

I hope it won't record all our conversations.

On the contrary, Polly is the soul of discretion.

I never go anywhere without her.

Well, shall we move into my den?

We'll be more private in there.

Come along, Miss Leip.

My newest toy.

It doesn't work with a rainbow.

Just the smallest change of temperature.

Just the natural heat of the human body.

Close enough to it does the trick.

Of course, if you had a refrigerated dress on, it wouldn't work.

Fortunately, I haven't.

I very seldom wear one.

Especially not in England.

Make yourself comfortable.

The entertainment is charming.

Is it all for me?

I would terribly show off.

But do let me offer you a drink.

No, thank you.

How was your trip to Istanbul?

Marvelous.

Did you go on the Underground Railway?

Do you know it's the oldest in Europe?

Did you bother to go to the museum, Mr. Page?

Well, of course, that was the whole idea, wasn't it?

The alarm.

I take my responsibilities in this enterprise seriously.

As I'm sure you do, Miss Leip.

Well, now.

Let's all go into the museum, shall we?

Here's the door, shall we say.

And Walter... Walter is the Sultan.

With the dagger.

Miss Leip.

It was your weight that did it on the Treasury floor.

Perhaps I should have said even your weight.

Try again.

Just one foot.

Well, just the toe.

It's all based on a little chap down here.

This is a delicate strain gauge.

And there are hundreds of them hidden under the floor of the Treasury.

Each one connected to the alarm system.

They measure weight.

The smallest weight.

Even the ping-pong ball.

That's our problem.

Then all you have to do is to find a switch and turn it off?

Well, it could be anywhere.

Hidden in the walls or the ceiling.

Operated by remote control.

A mile away or more.

And how do you propose to get into a museum without touching the floor?

Well, I wouldn't have to touch the floor, would I, if I were a fly.

It isn't how I see you, Mr. Page.

We have our human fly.

And our human fly holder.

That's Giulio.

That's Hans.

And...

We have a sucker.

Sucker?

Yes.

You'll catch on.

And we need another kind of sucker.

But him we'll find in the north of Greece.

In Kavala.

Near the Turkish border.

And no groups of order?

Some English.

English?

Yes.

Let's have a box.

Come on.

Where is it?

The English lay great store by things like this.

I hate to do it myself, but... Say, la vie!

Well, wish me luck.

Ah, Simpson.

So that's Arthur Simpson.

Arthur Simon Simpson.

Historian, guide and schmoke.

Morning, ladies and gentlemen.

First time in Kavala, no doubt.

I'm Arthur Simpson, the local archaeologist and historian.

I dug this up, and yes, it looks too wet.

Actually, this little harbour is full of historical connections.

Brutus spent the night here before Philippi after that unpleasant business he

had with Shakespeare, with, uh... with Julius Caesar.

Yes, yes.

Chapal of Belgium.

Ceramics handmade by the descendants of ancient heroes.

Here.

Ah, Reverend, uh... My name is Simpson, sir.

Arthur Simpson.

I'm Church of England, myself.

It's a very religious place.

Do you know that St. Paul passed through here on his way to Samothrace?

I do.

Well, you'd be surprised to know the amount of people that don't.

Bishop.

See the nightlife of Kavala?

All the belly dances.

He's got a lot of striptease there.

You showed me Kavala nightlife.

Remember?

For more expenses.

Do I look like a tourist?

A hustler's dream.

Personally, I like the touch of the parasol.

Genius.

Come on, sucker.

Can you not eat?

Madam has a very keen eye.

I see that.

No, it's an imitation, but of a period about 1,000 B.C.

But I've got other things.

I'm Arthur Simpson, the uncrowned king of Kavala nightlife.

I've got some Minoan cuff links.

Thank you.

I've got some Hellenistic ones of the Ninth Dynasty.

That might be a... Hey!

You want me, sir?

Come to the yacht club after lunch.

Might have a little drop for you.

Here, sir.

I smell hard currency.

Thank you, mate.

Off home, no, girl, and eye on the tie.

Ah, Simpson.

Oh, yes, yes.

I know, I know.

You wicked thing.

Here comes the schmoe.

I'm sorry I'm late, sir.

I ran into an old friend of mine, an archaeologist.

We used to run a little art publication together.

Simpson, how would you like to earn a fast buck?

Sir?

A hundred bucks, to be precise.

But if you're not interested... I am, sir.

You live here?

Yes, I live... Well, my own place up there is being done up.

I'm right down... Right down there.

You see that Lincoln?

Don't see many of them in Cavalla, sir.

Been rented by a friend of mine to take to Turkey, and I was going there by sea.

Do you know Istanbul?

Turkey?

Oh, yes, Istanbul, yes, sir.

Good.

Here's what you will do.

Take the car to the Hilton Hotel, Istanbul.

Your papers and license in order.

Oh, yes, mister.

Yes, sir.

Here's the car key.

Leave it with the hotel porter.

Tell him the car is for Mr. Plimpton.

Got it?

Plimpton.

P-L-I-M-P.

P-T-O-N.

Oh, yeah.

I want to check the car papers at the border, then the glove compartment.

Glove compartment, yes, sir.

Just one more little thing, Simpson.

This car is worth over $13,000.

If I don't hear from Mr. Plimpton by 5 o 'clock

tomorrow, I'll report to the police here.

Understood?

That was uncalled for, sir.

Mr. Simpson can be relied on.

He has a very reliable face.

Thank you, Mrs... Miss.

Oh.

Bon voyage, Mr. Simpson.

At speed, Arthur Simpson.

Walter, suppose they really search the car at the border?

It could happen.

Suppose they find the... Finders' keepers.

What about Simpson?

I'm afraid they will keep him too.

They'll ask him about us.

So?

Who is us?

We didn't rent the car, Mr. Plimpton did, and he doesn't exist.

All our plans, all our hopes, riding in the car with us.

Where did you call him?

Shmo.

Shmo.

Shmo.

Morning.

Morning.

Not if I watch.

Mr. Arthur Simpson.

Mr. Simpson, yes.

Arigatou gozaimasu.

There's nothing wrong there, I hope.

You're English?

Yes.

Then why you have Egyptian passport?

Oh, that's a long story.

My father was a British officer.

He was a colonel.

Then why you have not a British passport?

I'm coming to that.

Mummy is my mother.

She was Egyptian.

In fact, I was born over there in... in Egypt.

Cairo.

Egypt.

Yes?

Well, there's some trouble with the marriage documents.

Troop movements.

You gentlemen know what it's like in the army.

I know how it is in the army.

The army, yes.

Mr. Simpson, this passport is not good.

Expired nearly three weeks ago.

This?

I'll tell you what I'm prepared to do.

As soon as we get to Istanbul... I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson.

We must go back to Greece.

Take a Lumal Harabi.

I do not speak Arabic.

Officer.

Officer.

May I have your ear for a moment, please?

Now, you misunderstand entirely.

But I thought that the Turks were a hospitable people.

I know somebody who's going to have something to say about this.

Me.

And another thing.

I... You can't do... No, don't... Get it!

Get it!

What does that mean?

That means... you're under arrest.

What does that mean?

What does that mean?

You will speak when you are spoken to.

When did you join the Sigma group?

Me?

Who recruited you?

Nobody.

So you volunteered?

No, no, please, I was hired to drive to... Where did the men and women see in Kavala?

I don't know.

Did they send other arms out of Greece?

No.

Did they help you, sir?

No.

How do you know?

I don't know, I'm just a... Why did you lie?

I did not lie.

I mean...

Simpson, be careful.

I am a victim of circumstances.

I swear it.

Look here, I think it's time you took me to my embassy.

You can call... Call which embassy?

I doubt measure that the Egyptian authority will issue a passport to Arthur Simpson.

It seems there is a dossier.

The Egyptians bear me a grudge, sir, because I claim to be British.

In 1958, he was deported from Britain for smuggling pornographic literature.

An art magazine, sir?

Called?

Stop press news.

But may I remind you, gentlemen, that not so very long ago, James Joyce and

even Lady Chatterley herself were considered obscene.

Simpson, the penalty for terrorism is death.

Very good news.

The roof of the Hilton.

One of the balconies.

Balconies?

What for?

Where?

We'll use the smoke grenade.

Are they for your accomplices near the grandstand to create confusion?

Accomplices?

Grandstand?

Simpson, you know well that next Tuesday is our annual Army Day parade.

I swear on the life of my... Of my mother.

You also know that our chiefs of staff and the foreign

military missions will be together on the grandstand.

Their safety is our responsibility.

We shall be merciless with anyone who threatens it.

Merciless?

You frighten me, sir.

But after all, that's part of your job.

But if my father could hear you now, he'd laugh himself sick.

He wasn't no colonel, sir.

I just said that in order to make myself seem important, you know.

He was a sergeant.

Acting sergeant.

Acting unpaid sergeant.

And do you know what he used to say to me?

He used to say Arthur.

Used to call me Arthur.

Arthur, you're a carbuncle on the behind of humanity.

Carbuncle?

I'm a nothing.

I'm a nobody.

Me with a gun.

Me up on the roof.

I don't like heights, sir.

I get very dizzy, honestly.

I don't know what you're up to, sir.

But I can see it from your face.

You don't think that I'm a terrorist?

All right.

I'll give you a chance to prove it.

It will work for us.

I can't do that, sir.

If they were to find out, they'd kill me.

You will not let them find out.

The arms are back in the car just as they were.

The chances are they won't be touched until the evening before Army Day.

But you will check them constantly.

If they have been touched, you will report at once.

What's the matter?

I feel dizzy.

Oh.

This is for your messages.

Cigarettes.

Be always sure to have an empty pack.

Put your messages there and drop them from the car.

That car will follow you everywhere.

They will pick them up wherever you go.

Most important, report everything you overhear.

Everything, no matter how trivial, it may seem to you.

One word could tell us whom they work for.

Yes, sir.

Remember all our instructions for Hilton?

Hilton, oh, yes.

If you betray us, we will know.

Understand?

Yes.

Okay.

Colonel Simpson, you are now an agent of Turkish security.

Off you go.

Oh, well, you can rely on me, sir.

Yes, sir.

I've got the cars and travel documents for Mr. Plimpton's car here.

Any mail for Mr. Barlow?

No, Mr. Barlow.

Thank you.

Mr. Plimpton, is he staying here?

I don't know, he's supposed to live here for Mr. Barlow.

May I, Mr. Plimpton?

I'll give it to him when he comes.

Thank you.

I've been waiting for my telegram for three weeks.

He must be here somewhere.

You've got to go.

It isn't possible.

When my aunt sends, she sends a telegram.

She sends a telegram.

Was that the driver of Mr. Plimpton's car?

Yes, sir, do you want me to stop?

No, no, no, just give me the keys.

I'll catch him up.

I have been coming for three weeks.

Mr. Plimpton, I'm the lad who drove your car from Cavalla.

I just want to say she's a beautiful machine.

She really will mount her.

Thank you.

I suppose you want some remuneration like everybody else.

Where's the gasoline, sir?

The gasoline?

Oh, you mean the petrol?

Oh, I beg your pardon.

I thought you might be an American gentleman.

No.

Well, that'll be $46, sir, calculating the drachma, 29.7.

And, uh... There you are.

Have a pleasant journey back to Greece.

Oh, Greece, yes.

Home of Homer, of, uh...

Oh, thank you very much, Mr., uh... Goodbye.

Uh, arabic, after this, Mr. Plimpton.

I'm so sorry.

Do you know I don't speak a word of Turkish?

You'll have to ask somebody else.

Please, to show your car papers.

My car papers?

Oh, why didn't you say so?

You are a Mrs. Plimpton.

Well, of course, I'm not Mrs. Plimpton.

Offending.

Well, that's right.

I'm not offended.

I just wondered why you asked.

It's not you who bring car into country.

No, no, no.

There's a driver.

Ooh.

Turkish law says only gentleman who brings car or Mrs. Plimpton may drive.

Do you see, I didn't know that, did I?

Now it's impossible because the driver's gone.

We'll have to take a chance.

You may not drive this car.

Well, what do you expect me to do, leave it here all night?

You are not Mrs. Plimpton.

Yes, I know that.

There's the driver.

Driver!

Driver!

Call to me, sir?

Come here a moment, will you?

Why don't you get rid of that drunken crook?

It makes me crazy.

He goes with the villa.

Learn to live with him, Hans.

We'll watch out again.

I see.

I see.

I see.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

In my country, cooks cook.

No, service table.

Sorry, people, service table.

But it works.

Put the tray down.

Get out.

Get out, or I'll break your neck.

I'll have them.

Take it.

Take it!

I

told you before, one servant here is already one servant too many for me.

For poor Hans, too.

Kevin, maybe you'll beat me.

That's always the first time.

Oh, I played backgammon before you ever... Not backgammon.

Lovely.

Well, what's the difference?

The difference between you and the Turks.

It's their game.

Backgammon.

He doesn't need speech, that boy.

He talks with his whole body.

His body talks too much.

Play, play.

Cedric's here with a car.

Somebody's with him.

Who is it, Giulio?

He's brought Arthur Simpson.

Why?

Damn.

What can we do with him here?

You wouldn't take the kind, would you?

Nobody would.

Sit down.

Ah, Cedric, you've picked up Lipton's car.

Good man.

Forgive us.

We began tea without you.

And you've brought Simpson with you.

How nice to see you, Mr. Simpson.

An unexpected pleasure.

Nothing wrong, I hope?

No, but... I say, I'm afraid we've run foul of the Turkish law.

They've threatened to take the car away.

It seems only Plimpton or Simpson here is allowed to drive it...

or take it out of the country.

How silly of Plimpton not to have known.

No other misadventures, Simpson?

Apart from the customs.

Poor Mr. Simpson.

Did they search the car?

Took the seats out.

Underneath the whole...

Did they find my heroin and marijuana?

No, thank you.

You hid those too well.

Well, we'll take advantage of you being here.

You can't take a sightseeing until Mr. Plimpton arrives.

Hans, take Simpson to the kitchen and see that he gets fed and has a room.

Come on.

Bon appetit, Mr. Simpson.

Don't ever do it.

He scared me to death.

You're foreign, not?

No, no, I'm English.

Oh, are you okay?

You're good men, like King Victoria.

I say, those people out there, they're tourists.

Aren't they?

Everybody.

Old Misters.

Ruseshpeice.

Russians?

No, they're different kinds of people.

Not ladies.

Everybody.

Ruseshpeice.

Fisher.

Fisher is a German.

Ruseshpeice.

For Ruseshpeice.

I kill him.

Yes, I kill him.

You can niddle big like this.

Music.

General.

I kill him, my friend.

Are you here officially?

Are you here...

Give me that.

Oh, understood.

Officially, no.

Officially give you good meat.

I give Ruseshpeice.

Officially.

English, friend.

Officially.

Good Mistershpeice.

Understood.

Good meat, Siskobah.

Yeah.

Understood.

Well, I thought I understood.

Stop pacing.

This is not occasion.

You are not a lion.

Okay.

I am wrong.

You are a lion.

The king of the jungle.

My king.

Well, don't just stand there.

Roar.

Forgive me a kiss.

Later.

That's what I like about you, Swiss.

You're so sexy.

I don't like Simpson being here.

Arthur Simpson is keeping away from my side.

He's harmless.

He's a schmooze.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's not that.

It's a departure from the plan.

This I hate.

Natural.

You do everything with style.

It's a departure from your style.

This you hate.

For this I love you.

Style, Maya.

As long as I get the emerald for you, you don't care how I get it.

Walter, I don't hide the way I feel about the emerald.

I don't hide the way I feel about you.

The emerald excites me physically, like a man.

Like you.

You excite me.

The emerald and you are fused in my mind.

Each of you excites me more because of the other.

I thought the evening was lost.

I was beginning to wonder whom I could turn to next.

How about Giulio?

He's diffused in your mind with your emerald too?

But there's a dilemma.

So is Hans.

So is Cedric Page.

There's a fine figure of a man.

But watch out.

The English are not what they seem.

Read the papers.

I know.

There's also Simpson too.

I feel a strange attraction.

What's so strange?

You're so understanding.

He has beautiful eyelashes.

Have you noticed?

First thing I noticed.

Do you mind that I am a nymph of many?

It's your most endearing quality.

Don't waste it.

Use it.

The door is open, darling.

Now, Mr. Simpson, you can show us how well you know Istanbul.

We want to see San Sophia, the Blue Moss... And the Grand Bazaar.

Everything.

Do you mind if I smoke?

Do I hate?

No, no, I prefer my own brand.

I've got a... Oh, that's fucking stupid of me.

Mr. Simpson!

Please, come here!

Papa, there's your pretty searchlight.

Shut up.

Oh, candy floss.

Couldn't be better, could it?

Just a few hundred yards from the museum.

There's your enemy.

The searchlight.

But Walter will take care of it, eh?

Again.

Are they armed, Sintekar?

They haven't been touched, sir.

I don't think you're an idiot.

What made you suspect they are Russian spies?

I deduced it, sir.

From what?

From the cook, sir.

What did the cook say?

That they were Russian spies, sir.

A clever deduction.

Are they expecting Mr. Clinton?

I believe they are, sir.

Is he their leader?

I think it's Mr. Harper, sir, and Miss Lip has her say.

What has Miss Lip to say?

Did you hear her talk to anyone?

Yes, I heard her speak to Mr. Harper.

What did she say?

Personal things, you know.

I don't think they've been of any interest to you.

Everything she says is of interest to me.

Well, she said I was attractive to her.

Fool!

She knew you were listening.

That's impossible.

Now, why would she say anything so stupid?

Well, she did.

She even went further.

She said I had beautiful eyelashes.

Did Miss Lip confide any more tender secrets to Mr. Harper?

Yes, she did.

What?

Said she was a nymphomaniac.

Where?

I just came from the villa.

Well, what did you find in the villa?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

This is your last chance, Simpson.

Today is Thursday.

On Saturday, three days before the army parade, your

friends will be arrested and locked safely away.

If before that you don't learn who they were for, you will be officially charged

with smuggling arms into Turkey for terrorist purposes.

That's what I call a handsome man.

Him I would like to take home.

Ah, Madame, the Sultan is here with me.

But please, you come and visit him again.

We can't.

We leave on Monday.

Monday?

Monday.

Well, now that the Sultan has seen you, maybe the Sultan will leave with you.

The Sultan must be facing religious losses.

However, these Jews are...

Oh,

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Excuse me.

Hope I didn't hurt you.

Any time.

It's a date.

Just look at these things.

Did you get the impression of the key?

Naturally.

Did Cedric get his?

Yes.

Look right behind me.

That's the longest stretch of roof we have to cross.

Look for the places where we can lie low.

The searchlight sweeps that roof every 21 seconds.

I cannot shoot that light out until we get to this roof.

It's only from there that I can get a clear shot at it.

Well, we paid our respects to culture.

Tomorrow we'll see the wrestling.

That I like more.

While the guards are busy coughing, this will assure our means of transport.

Pull.

Pull.

There's no strong or not.

Too strong.

I don't want to leave it up there.

You agreed not to trace.

Memento, Giulio?

Genius.

Boy scout.

Start!

Giulio!

You fool.

Sports cars.

Understand this, understand it well.

For a year you will buy nothing.

For a year you will rot in your garret.

There will be an army organized to find us.

Investigators, detectives and informers.

The sudden heavy spender, the overnight millionaire,

will be caught in a spotlight from Istanbul to Peru.

This project has been planned to the last detail.

It's going to work.

Our timing is right.

The whole Turkish army can't stop us.

We've made contact with Joseph at the fair.

Joseph is waiting for our signal to move.

You were all chosen because you are unknown to the police.

That's going to stay that way.

Everything is ready.

Everything has been timed.

All of a time I knew that you spy and the spies.

Nothing.

Okay, Giulio?

If there is to be a killing, there can only be one leader.

And that doesn't go for Turkey alone.

Good evening.

It's a bit warmer tonight.

Who's there?

What are you doing here?

I'm afraid it's cook, so he's had one over the ice.

Put him to bed.

To bed, you drunken pig.

You're fish and you're nice, Bob.

I kill you, I... I make you...

Shut him to death.

You're fish and I... You're fish and I... I make big fish and you...

Don't be such an idiot.

I give you...

Ice cream!

Hands!

My hand.

My hand!

My hand.

He's ruined my hand.

So close, so close, and then this idiot's hand.

I'm sorry, darling, I know how you feel.

Ah!

Don't look at me, dear.

I couldn't possibly hold Giulio.

I used to get blisters just holding my cricket bat.

Father?

Is that a call, Simpson?

Simpson?

Simpson.

Simpson.

Giulio, bring the nylon cord from the fishing basket.

Simpson?

Yes, yes, sir?

Simpson?

You're wanted.

Give it to him, Giulio.

Simpson?

I've just spent a hundred dollars.

You can pull this sofa six feet with just the strength of your arms.

If you win, you get half.

I'm not very good at this kind of thing, sir.

Try?

As you wish, but you're not asking me to do this just in order to settle some bet.

Bravo, Mr. Simpson.

But you would still get your $50.

Do it, Mr. Simpson.

Do it!

Prove that you're a man, not a jelly!

Feet together, just the strength of your arms.

You can do it, Arthur.

I didn't mean to talk to you like that.

I'm very fond of you.

Try it again?

Please.

Don't yank the cord.

Just pull steadily, hand over hand.

You can do it.

Quiet.

Feet together.

Oh.

Dare we?

Yes.

We can't postpone.

Arthur?

Aye.

Come sit down.

Get it, will you?

Simpson, how would you like to make $10 ,000?

Ten?

Ten?

Paris.

Roma.

Washington.

Get your hands off me.

Get your hands off me.

I'll take care of you.

Aye, Allah.

Come on.

You can do it.

One single one of them.

No more.

No more.

No more.

Back, Simpson.

I heard Walter say, if we are to make a killing, there can be only one leader.

And if our timing is right, the whole Turkish army can't stop us.

You know what this is?

It's a, uh, Sultan's dagger from the museum.

Not yet.

We are going to put it in the museum.

Close your mouth, my dear fellow.

Thank you.

His lip made the copy.

Isn't she clever?

We are going to exchange it for the original.

And we are confident that it will be a long time before anyone is the wiser.

That's how you will earn $10,000.

You will be on the museum roof and lower Giulio over the side by rope.

Museum roof?

That's impossible.

It has to be possible.

Now that you know about it, you have no choice.

You don't understand.

I don't like heights.

I get dizzy.

Give me your hand.

Arthur, you're a clever man.

You could have gone far, but you always played for small stakes.

This is your chance.

You can do it.

It won't be so difficult.

You won't be on the edge of the roof.

Yes, but can I do it?

You can.

All right.

I'll do it.

But what about Turkish security?

What about Turkish security?

Well, they don't know about the museum.

They think you're terrorists.

Who thinks so?

Who?

Well, it's your own fault.

Why do you get me to do all your dirty work?

Why do you get me to bring the arms into the country?

They found the arms at the border and they let you in the country.

Then you must be working for them.

The time has come for us to leave this beautiful country.

Cedric, we're going to let you out.

Who indeed?

They left the arms in the car, didn't they?

Yes.

And when do they think we'll move?

Not till Tuesday.

But they're going to pick you up on Saturday.

Saturday?

That gives us a little time, doesn't it?

Time for what?

We can't go forwards, we can't go back.

We're finished.

Who says we're finished?

Just a minute!

Quiet hands.

When Walter fights in a corner, that's when he fights at his best.

One thing is sure.

The gun, the grenades, they stay in the car.

We cannot touch them ever.

How can you shoot at a searchlight without a rifle?

How can you get away from the guards without the grenades?

The searchlight...

and the guards.

The searchlight and the guards.

The searchlight and the guards.

There must be a solution.

This must not end again.

Cedric... Cedric...

The guards...

Elizabeth...

Elizabeth, laugh.

What's so funny?

Laugh!

I

have news for you.

Maybe it's even better.

God bless the Turkish security.

Cedric!

You want me to laugh?

No.

I want you to take Elizabeth fishing.

What are you doing?

I'm being a lighthouse.

Did you get in?

We did.

Good.

Tell me.

It was too easy.

The poor man was so lonely.

And we did get that invitation to go back tonight.

Good.

To do what?

Yes, something not Turk can resist.

Must I guess?

Wrong.

Doubling.

I have been invited to play.

Giulio, come here.

Put your hand on the table.

Now spread your fingers.

Turn my hand.

This is the way the beam revolves.

Two great wheels, their cogs interlocked, turning each other.

So, now try again.

You see, when I do this, it's slower.

By how much can you reduce the speed?

Almost by half.

The beam comes around every 21 seconds.

You can slow it down to 40.

You gain about 18 or 19 seconds, Giulio.

Is that enough?

Good work, Cedric.

I never liked that gun.

It upset the artist in me.

Picasso.

Did you talk to Joseph?

He's really willing and very amused.

Now there's just one more little change.

We go tonight.

I'm getting dizzy.

Now lift it up.

What is it?

Don't worry, not even Hans could do it.

It's like lifting 200 pounds with one hand.

Laughing.

That.

Dropped on the museum floor and we are cooked.

Cooked?

Nothing to worry about, Simpson.

You just concentrate on the $10,000.

Again?

I'm nervous.

The attention of Major Ali Tufan.

I, Arthur Simpson, here with regretfully resigned from the Turkish security services.

I'll be sure not to lose them.

Do you want them to follow us all the way to the museum?

Are they coming up on the roof with us?

We are not going to the museum yet.

First, we're going to the wrestling stadium.

Wrestling in this time of day?

It's a big annual event.

There's a carnival too.

It goes on all day until 8.30 in the evening.

At which time, Arthur, you'll be tired, happy and rich.

Rich!

May God bless you!

It'll all be this easy, Arthur.

Look everywhere for a cigarette packet.

You're all right, Arthur.

You're doing fine.

57, 58, 59, 60.

Now the alarm system is set in every room of the museum.

There's a floor that can be touched.

What do we do next?

Nothing.

Sit.

Sit?

Sit until dark.

Sit.

What then?

Then we'll make our way to the Treasury Building.

Where's that?

Over there.

In the dark?

It's impossible.

We have to make it in the dark.

There's still guards moving around.

Not with me.

I'd fall, you see.

I get too dizzy.

You fool.

If you get dizzy, it's easier in the dark.

I don't think you understand, sir.

You're not going to get me across there in the dark.

You will!

You can kill me.

You can do anything you like.

You can kill me.

I don't care what you do with me.

I'm not going across there in the dark.

No.

All right.

We'll go now.

This way.

Move.

Never better.

All right, Arthur.

From now on, it's all easy.

Come.

There's the treasury.

The roof is not very strong here, so on at a time.

First me, then you, then Giulio.

It's down here.

Well, will you be going down through that window?

No, that would be too easy.

We can't reach the dagger through here.

Is that fair anything to do with us?

A little bit, Arthur.

All right.

They live in an hour.

It's going like clockwork.

That means the fair is ready to leave for the border and

Elizabeth and Sirig are on the way to the lighthouse.

It'll be dark soon.

All right, gentlemen, it's time to undress.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Are you ready?

Ready.

Good.

What's that?

A guardhouse.

Oh, with those smoke grenades.

They were intended to deal with that.

They were.

They'll see Giulio going down.

Elizabeth and Sirig are taking care that they don't.

It's only a matter of seconds until Sirig gets the light.

Put your weight against the wall.

Brace yourself.

Go.

Don't leave my hand.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hold it.

I got it.

My hand.

Hold it.

Hey!

You're not going to leave me here alone, are you?

I don't fancy that home.

No, Arthur, I wouldn't go anywhere without you.

If

I get this out, it'll give you some support.

Can we go soon?

In about 10 minutes.

But let's take Giulio with us.

Not today.

You're not going to lose your nerve now, hmm?

Not a question of losing my nerve.

I never had none.

Giulio's on the cell now.

I'll help you.

Lower him down.

Can't he do anything by himself?

You have to hold it by yourself now, okay?

Yes.

I'm going to let go now, Arthur.

Ready?

Ready.

This

is the last bit, Arthur.

Lower slowly.

Slowly!

I'll tell you when to stop.

Stop!

The time has come to ask you to sit here on the edge.

Where else?

Put your hands around this bit of hose, think of

$10,000 and hold on when you push me off the edge.

Oh, no, no, I wouldn't do that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

I've been waiting for this place.

He's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

I'd like to know how he feels.

He's a man.

Yeah, he's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

He's a man.

Major Tufan.

Yes.

My name, sir, is Walter Harper.

This is Miss Lip, Mr. Page, Mr. Wacky, Mr. Fisher.

And this is Mr. Simpson.

He has been driving us in a car rented by Mr. Plimpton in Greece.

And borrowed by us while waiting for him.

Yes, dear.

What can I do for you, gentlemen?

Madam?

Something quite extraordinary has happened, which

I felt I should report to someone in authority.

What do you wish to report to me?

I heard a rattle in the car.

I heard it first.

Yes, dear.

You heard it first.

I heard a rattle in the car, had it investigated, and discovered arms hidden in it.

Arms?

Yes.

A rifle and six grenades.

What is the arms in the car?

They certainly look like them.

How clever of you.

Had you lost them?

No, madam.

We had found them.

May I ask, where have you been today?

At the wrestling major.

It was quite an experience.

Were you there all day, Mr. Walter?

Yes.

Madam?

All day.

Were you there all day, Mr. Simpson?

No.

No, sir?

We didn't get there until after three o 'clock.

Hey, Cheech, my man.

Gentlemen.

Madam.

Sometimes, MS.

Profision gives him a narrow view of things.

I know now why you're here.

Do you really, sir?

Yes, Mr. Simpson.

A little bird told me.

Mef Kufson?

Tomorrow we're out.

I have an idea.

Oh, no!

There's a secret stairway in the Kremlin.

The Romanov tools.

THE END