Original subtitles

( giggling )

Man: URSULA?

URSULA!

URSULA, COME BACK HERE!

URSULA!

( panting )

URSULA!

COME BACK HERE! IT'S DANGEROUS!

( giggling )

URSULA, WAIT FOR ME!

OH!

WHO WAS IT THAT DIDN'T COME, THEN?

WAS IT YOU, MISS PUDDLE DUCK?

- AND WERE YOU OFF FOR A SWIM IN THE RIVER? - NO.

- WELL, WHAT IS IT, MILADY? - I WANT THAT, DADDY.

OH, AYE. WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, ME DUCKY.

- IT'S NOT FOR CATCHING. - I WANT IT!

IT'S TOO FAR OFF, LASS.

BUT IF YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL, I'LL MAKE YOU ONE FOR YOUR TEA.

( chuckles )

THEY WERE NAUGHTY TO FIGHT LIKE THAT, WEREN'T THEY?

LOSING ALL THEIR FEATHERS.

THEY'LL BE SORRY, WON'T THEY? WHEN IT GETS COLD.

- ( baby crying ) - I'VE JUST SAVED THIS ONE FROM THE RIVER.

HERE WE GO. OFF YOU GO.

WELL, NOW, PERHAPS YOU'LL HAVE THAT GATE FIXED.

- YOU LEFT THE FRONT DOOR OPEN! - AND WHAT IF I DID?

WITH A BABY COMING AND A BABY WAKING UP ALL AT ONCE...

WHY DO YOU LITTLE ME SO?

IT'S NOT TOO EASY HERE AS FOR YOU,

SITTING IN A CHAIR, DESIGNING LACE HANKIES.

A-YUP, SOUP AGAIN?

- YOU'RE SPOILING ME, LOVE. - YES.

OH, THERE'S OUR LITTLE BLACKBIRD TUNING UP.

SING ON, ME LASS. SING UP AND DROWN YOUR MOTHER OUT.

- OH, YOU-- YOU PUT SUCH PRESSURE IN MY HEAD. - OH, GET OFF.

( both chuckle )

* WHEN THE PIE WAS OPEN, THE BIRDS BEGAN TO SING *

* AND WASN'T THAT A DAINTY DISH? *

( humming )

IT'S STILL THERE, DADDY. CAN'T I HAVE IT?

YOU'RE A PERSISTENT LITTLE MUGGER, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, I'VE NOT FORGOTTEN.

THERE YOU ARE. ON YOU JUMP.

THERE WE GO.

NOW, WHAT ABOUT THAT, THEN?

- WANT A LITTLE TASTE? - MM-MM.

AW, COME ON, A LITTLE TASTE. JUST A LITTLE ONE.

- NO? - MMM.

- OH, I SEE. YOU WANT THE REAL ONE. - MM-HMM.

WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, ME LASS.

Man: "AND AGAIN, I SAY UNTO YOU

IT IS EASIER FOR A CAMEL

TO PASS THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE

THAN FOR A RICH MAN

TO ENTER INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD."

NOW, THE COLLECTION THIS WEEK

IS FOR MRS. HARTLEY,

WIDOWED BY THE TRAGEDY AT GRANGE PIT.

I KNOW YOU WILL GIVE GENEROUSLY.

- ( coins clinking ) - ON A HAPPIER NOTE,

I'M PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE RESUMPTION OF CHRISTENINGS,

THANKS TO THE RESTORATION OF THE FONT BY OUR ORGANIST

WILL BRANGWEN.

( chattering )

( organ music playing )

( people murmuring )

- FORGOT HIS HAT. - HE'S LIKE MY DOLLY.

- IT'S BEAUTIFUL, DAD. - ( boy babbling )

AS A HOBBY, THIS CHURCH TAKES UP FAR TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.

BUT I MUST SAY, THAT IS A VERY FINE HAND YOU'VE CARVED.

IT'S AN OGRE'S HAND.

IT'S THE HAND OF GOD, BILLY.

- ASSISTING AT THE BIRTH OF EVE. - HE'S NOT A MIDWIFE.

( women chuckling )

- OH, WELL, IT WAS MY HAND YOU USED AS A MODEL. - THAT'S NOT SO.

I MODELED THAT HAND AFTER DONATELLO-- HIS ST. FRANCIS.

- THAT'S HOW IT STARTED OUT. - I'VE NEVER!

( bells ringing )

FOR ALL YOU KNOW, DONATELLO MAY HAVE USED HIS WIFE AS A MODEL.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!

THE HAND OF GOD MUST BE A MAN'S HAND. IT STANDS TO REASON.

LIKE TAKING EVE OUT OF ADAM'S BODY

WHEN IN FACT EVERY MAN IS BORN OF WOMAN?

REALLY, THE IMPUDENCE OF MEN. THE ARROGANCE!

OH, MOTHER, DON'T FUSS SO.

I HAVE SAID, URSULA, YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME IN THAT WAY.

GUDRUN, HOW COULD A GREAT HUMPED CAMEL

PASS THROUGH AN EYE OF A NEEDLE?

WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY, I SHOULD THINK.

( both giggling )

( children laughing )

( laughing )

( footsteps running, children laughing )

( door knob rattling )

Girl: IT'S LOCKED!

OPEN THE DOOR, AUNT URSULA.

( door knob rattling )

Billy: MOTHER, SHE WON'T ANSWER! SHE'S DEAD!

GO AWAY!

I'M NOT DEAD! WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Billy: MOTHER SAID YOU HAVE TO COME STRAIGHT DOWN TO DINNER!

Girl: AND THERE'S A SOLDIER DOWNSTAIRS WITH UNCLE HENRY!

( door rattling )

( children laugh, gasp )

YOU'RE NOT FIBBING, ARE YOU?

'CAUSE I'LL PULL YOUR HAIR OUT, EVERY BIT OF IT.

- EVEN IF IT IS SUNDAY! - ( children laughing )

Boy: I AM NOT STUPID.

- Man: OH, DID THEY ASK YOU TO STAY THE NIGHT? - Will: AYE.

Man: THEY ALWAYS USED TO ASK STRANGERS TO STAY THE NIGHT.

- I BELIEVE IT WAS RATHER TRYING FOR MY PARENTS. - ( all laughing )

WELL, IT'S OUR LAZARUS. BILLY SAID YOU WERE DEAD.

MIGHT AS WELL BE, SOMETIMES.

( children giggling )

I WANTED SOME PEACE. I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE COMING.

OR SHE'D HAVE JOINED US FOR SHERRY.

Henry: SHE LIKES A TIPPLE, DOES SHE?

HEH, COME AND GIVE YOUR UNCLE HENRY A KISS.

WELL, YOU MUST DRINK TO THE HEALTH OF A FRIEND OF MINE--

LIEUTENANT ANTON SKREBENSKY.

HE'S STAYING WITH ME AT THE HALL.

HIS FATHER WAS THE PARISH PRIEST.

- ARE YOU STAYING LONG? - THIS IS MY LAST DAY.

I HAVE TO REPORT BACK ON DUTY TOMORROW.

- TO WHAT DO YOU REPORT BACK? - I'M IN THE ENGINEERS.

AND YOU? I SUPPOSE YOU'RE STILL AT SCHOOL.

MY LAST TERM, I'M HAPPY TO SAY.

I'LL BE TAKING MY MATRICULATION EXAM SOON.

YOU'LL BE GOING OUT TO WORK, THEN.

HEY, DON'T BE PUTTING IDEAS IN HER HEAD.

NONE OF MY DAUGHTERS NEED GO OUT TO WORK.

I'M CONSIDERING MY FIELD OF ACTION, YES.

THERE'S A FINE CROP OF STOCKINGS RIPE FOR MENDING.

PERHAPS THEY CAN BE YOUR FIELD OF ACTION.

- MOLLY? - ( Will chuckles )

- WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? - I DON'T KNOW.

A TEACHER, PERHAPS.

I WAS NEVER ONE FOR STUDYING.

THEY SAY ALL THE BRAINS OF THE ARMY

ARE IN THE ENGINEERS.

I THINK THAT'S WHY I JOINED THEM,

TO GET THE CREDIT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S BRAINS.

I DON'T THINK BRAINS MATTER.

OH, WHAT DOES MATTER, THEN?

IT MATTERS WHETHER PEOPLE HAVE COURAGE OR NOT.

COURAGE FOR WHAT?

- FOR EVERYTHING. - LIKE A SOLDIER, YOU MEAN?

I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER FIELD OF ACTION YOU WOULDN'T LIKE.

I THINK SHE SHOULD JOIN ME IN THE ROYAL ENGINEERS.

YOU NEED MIGHTY LITTLE COURAGE TO BUILD A PRIVY.

( children giggling )

- ( laughing ) - ( clears throat )

ARE YOU NOT VERY LONELY, BEING AN ORPHAN?

I HAVE GOT A GUARDIAN.

AND HENRY AND MY AUNTS.

I'M REALLY FOND OF THEM ALL.

BUT I SUPPOSE MY REAL HOME IS THE ARMY.

DO YOU LIKE BEING ON YOUR OWN?

HMM, I THINK SO.

I WENT AWAY TO SCHOOL EARLY, SO I SUPPOSE THE OUTSIDE WORLD

WAS ALWAYS A MORE NATURAL HOME TO ME THAN THE VICARAGE.

- THIS HOUSE USED TO BE A VICARAGE, YOU KNOW? - REALLY?

DO YOU NOT FEEL LIKE--

LIKE A BIRD BLOWN OUT OF ITS OWN LATITUDE?

( laughs )

NO, I FIND THINGS VERY MUCH AS I LIKE THEM.

- YOU LOOK VERY LAZY. - I AM LAZY.

- YOU LOOK REALLY FLOPPY. - I AM FLOPPY.

- CAN'T YOU STOP? - I DON'T WANT TO STOP.

( laughs )

YOU LOOK AS IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BONE IN YOUR BODY.

THAT'S JUST HOW I LIKE TO FEEL.

I DON'T ADMIRE YOUR TASTE.

THAT'S MY MISFORTUNE.

DAMN IT!

NOW, WHY CAN'T I ROCK?

- MEN DON'T ROCK THEMSELVES. - GIRLS DON'T PULL MEN'S HAIR.

( laughs ) YOU'VE SEEN THAT THEY DO.

MY FATHER USED TO ROCK ME ON THE SWING BOATS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO ON ONE AGAIN?

- OH, I DIDN'T MEAN-- - WOULD YOU?

- WHEN? - NOW.

YES.

YOU ARRANGE IT WITH MOTHER WHILE I GO AND CHANGE!

( laughing )

( laughing )

OUR FAMILIES GO A LONG WAY BACK, YOU KNOW?

MY GRANDMOTHER USED TO TELL ME STORIES ABOUT HER LIFE IN POLAND.

- SHE KNEW YOUR FATHER IN WARSAW, I BELIEVE. - I KNOW.

SHE MARRIED HIS BEST FRIEND,

DR. LENSKY, JUST BEFORE THE UPRISING.

THEY FOUGHT SIDE BY SIDE FOR THE FREEDOM OF THEIR HOMELAND.

DR. LENSKY AND BARON SKREBENSKY.

DON'T YOU FIND POLISH NAMES EXTREMELY MUSICAL?

THEY'RE AN EXTREMELY MUSICAL NATION

AND AN EXTREMELY PATRIOTIC ONE,

WHICH IS WHY THEY MAKE SUCH POOR EXILES.

THEY ALL DIE YOUNG,

- HUMMING CHOPIN'S "FUNERAL MARCH." - ( chuckles )

BUT YOU LENSKYS SEEM TO BE AN EXCEPTION.

THEY SAY GRANDDAD DIED WITH A STETHOSCOPE ROUND HIS NECK.

HE HAD CONNECTIONS OVER HERE WITH THE MEDICAL PROFESSION

AND WAS INVITED TO SHARE A BUSY PRACTICE IN BELDOVER.

THAT'S WHERE MOM WAS BORN.

( sighs ) I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT TERRIBLY ROMANTIC

TO HAVE POLISH BLOOD.

MORE SO THAN BRITISH?

IS THERE NO ROMANCE IN YOUR POOR FATHER?

OF COURSE.

HE WOULDN'T HAVE SWEPT MOM OFF HER FEET OTHERWISE.

THAT'S THE CHURCH WHERE THEY WERE MARRIED.

- SHALL WE GO IN? - OH, DEAR.

I THOUGHT I HAD ESCAPED CHURCH PARADE TODAY.

( chuckles ) COME ALONG.

( chuckles )

Man: BEG PARDON, SIR. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN.

- THIS IS DREADFUL! - DREADFUL AND WONDERFUL.

THEN LET'S STAY A MINUTE.

YOU LOVE FLYING HIGH, DON'T YOU?

BETTER THAN BEING EARTHBOUND.

AND YOU'D FEEL THE SAME IF YOU LIVED IN OUR HOUSE.

Man: THERE YOU GO, BURT.

( men chattering )

THIS REMINDS ME OF INGRAM, A FRIEND IN MY PLATOON.

- OH? WHY IS THAT? - WELL, HE HAD THIS GIRL IN ROCHESTER.

THEY ALWAYS USED TO SIT IN A CORNER OF A CATHEDRAL FOR THEIR LOVEMAKING.

HOW NICE.

ENDED BADLY, THOUGH.

THE VERGER SPIED ON THEM,

GOT TO KNOW THEIR NAMES, MADE A ROW ABOUT IT.

WHAT A SHAME. HE SHOULDN'T HAVE OBJECTED.

- HE SAID IT WAS A PROFANITY. - NO, I THINK IT'S RIGHT...

TO MAKE LOVE IN THE HOUSE OF GOD.

- ( men arguing ) - Aton: OH, WELL.

I PROMISED YOUR MOTHER I'D HAVE YOU HOME EARLY.

YOU HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW.

( chatter )

COME ALONG. I'LL BUY YOU A LOLLY.

PUSH AND GLIDE! PUSH AND GLIDE!

NOW, ETHEL, AS THE ARMS COMPLETE THE PULLING STROKE,

THEN YOU BEND YOUR LEGS BACK.

AND DON'T LET YOUR FEET BREAK WATER. THAT'S BETTER.

PUSH AND GLIDE. HEADS STEADY.

ALL RIGHT! ( blows whistle )

( blows whistle )

( laughs ) COME, I'LL RACE YOU.

- ( chuckles ) - OH!

I'VE WON, BUT YOU'VE GOOD FORM.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

URSULA, MISS INGER. URSULA BRANGWEN.

RIGHT, URSULA BRANGWEN.

( blows whistle )

CLASS DISMISSED! NO LINGERING IN THE CUBICLES.

CLASS THREE IS DUE ANY MINUTE.

DO YOU THINK IT'S WICKED TO LET A MAN KISS YOU?

I MEAN, A MAN YOU'VE JUST MET?

I SHOULD THINK. IT DEPENDS.

REAL KISSES, I MEAN. NOT JUST FLIRTING.

HE'S A SOLDIER.

WHERE DID HE KISS YOU?

IN CHURCH.

I SEE. AND WHAT TIME WAS IT?

UM, ABOUT A QUARTER TO 7:00.

OH, YES. YES, I THINK IT TO BE VERY WRONG.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW ATHLETICS MISTRESS?

NOT A LOT. SHE WAS QUITE ROUGH WITH ME.

URSULA. URSULA.

I ENJOYED OUR RACE. DID YOU?

UM, YES. YES, I DID.

TELL ME, HAVE YOU A BICYCLE?

NO. YES.

WELL, MY SISTER DOES. WE-- WE SHARE IT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME FOR A LITTLE SWIM ON SATURDAY?

I HAVE A COTTAGE ON THE RIVER.

YOU COULD BICYCLE OVER AND STAY FOR TEA, PERHAPS.

THANK YOU. YES, I'D LIKE THAT.

( whistle blows )

COME ALONG, CLASS THREE! COME ON, GIRLS!

COME ALONG. RIGHT.

NOW INTO THE WATER, THE LOT OF YOU.

I'LL HAVE YOU SWIMMING LIKE DOLPHINS IN NO TIME.

( whistle blows )

NO, YOU CAN'T!

I NEED IT! LISTEN TO ME!

STOP, WILL YOU?

I SAID NO! DO YOU HEAR ME?

OH, STOP!

OH, I HATE YOU!

MMM, SUCH PEACE.

YOU'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BOOTS OFF.

HERE.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY SPEND YOUR WEEKENDS?

HELPING MOTHER. GOING TO CHURCH.

CHURCH IS PEACEFUL?

- ( giggles ) - WHY DO YOU LAUGH?

THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE, IT WAS ANYTHING BUT.

I WAS WITH A FRIEND LOOKING FOR A LITTLE SECLUSION.

CHOIR PRACTICE?

RESTORATION.

DO YOU THINK IT'S BLASPHEMOUS TO MAKE LOVE IN CHURCH?

NO. MERELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

SUCH NARROW PEWS.

OR DID YOU DO IT STANDING UP IN A CONFESSIONAL?

WE WERE ONLY KISSING.

OH, I THOUGHT YOU MEANT FUCKING.

- WHO WAS HE? - A SOLDIER.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER? - MY FATHER WAS A SOLDIER.

COARSE BRUTE.

TREATED ME MOTHER A LITTLE BETTER THAN A WHORE.

WHO DO YOU MEAN?

AS A PERSON IN HER OWN RIGHT,

MY MOTHER DID NOT EXIST.

SHE WAS NO MORE THAN AN INSTRUMENT

FOR HIS PERVERTED SEXUALITY.

WAS THERE NO LOVE?

URSULA, THE BEST YOU'LL EVER GET FROM A MAN

IS PASSION.

EVEN THAT CAN'T LAST.

OH, DEAR, I THINK WE'RE IN FOR A STORM.

THE MILK'S TURNED.

PERHAPS I SHOULD BE OFF.

OH, DON'T SAY THAT, NOT BEFORE OUR SWIM.

I'M AFRAID THAT IN THE RUSH I FORGOT MY COSTUME.

BESIDES, IT LOOKS LIKE RAIN.

WHEN YOU'RE IN THE WATER, WHAT DO A FEW RAINDROPS MATTER?

BESIDES, IT'S BEST IN THE RAIN.

WE'RE QUITE SAFE. THE GROUNDS ARE PRIVATE.

WE'LL UNDRESS INSIDE AND RUN DOWN, SHALL WE?

IT'S ALL RIGHT. ( laughs )

( thunder rumbling )

( both laughing )

( gasps )

COME ON.

( giggling )

- YOU'RE TICKLING ME! - RELAX!

YOU'RE IN THE HANDS OF A QUALIFIED OSTEOPATH.

OH, THAT'S LOVELY.

MMM.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO SOON.

IT'S GETTING LATE.

CAN I NOT STAY HERE WITH YOU?

I DON'T THINK YOUR PARENTS WOULD APPROVE.

WHEN WILL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN?

MONDAY, SILLY.

SWIMMING CLASS.

I MEANT LIKE THIS.

I WAS THINKING OF TAKING A SCHOOL PARTY

FOR A HIKE AROUND THE LAKES NEXT WEEKEND.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG?

I'M NOT THAT FOND OF HIKING.

RIGHT, WELL, I WON'T BOTHER, THEN.

I MEANT A PARTY OF ONE.

I LOVE HIKING!

YOUR MOTHER'LL THINK YOU'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED.

COME ALONG.

HA!

Gudrun: YOU HEARD ME SHOUTING, DIDN'T YOU?

I NEED MY BICYCLE TO FETCH THE GROCERIES.

I HAD TO CARRY THEM ALL THE WAY HOME.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY?

( shouting )

DAMN THE GROCERIES!

I'M SICK OF BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!

Children: * WE'RE "BADING" IN THE SEA, MOTHER *

* WE'RE BADING IN THE SEA, MOTHER *

* WE'RE BADING IN THE SEA, MOTHER... *

( making whooshing sounds )

AND I AM STANDING HERE WITH YOUR NIGHTSHIRT.

- * WE'RE BADING IN THE SEA, MOTHER... * - COME ON, RUPERT.

- GET UP NOW. - * WE'RE BADING IN THE SEA, MOTHER... *

- ( making whooshing sounds ) - WILL SOMEBODY LOVE ME, MOTHER?

WE SAY "BATHING," NOT "BADING."

WE ALL LOVE YOU, CHILD.

YES, BUT WILL SOMEBODY LOVE ME?

SOME MAN WILL LOVE YOU, URSULA, BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR NATURE.

BUT I HOPE IT WILL BE SOMEBODY WHO LOVES YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE

AND NOT FOR WHAT HE WANTS OF YOU.

WHAT DID YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF?

- WHAT I'VE GOT. - * WE'RE BATHING IN THE SEA, MOTHER. *

- BILLY, WHERE IS YOUR NIGHTSHIRT? - I DON'T KNOW.

- THEN LOOK FOR IT. - MOLLY PULLED MY HAIR.

- I DIDN'T. - OH, YOU TWO, GET ALONG.

Billy: IT'S MY TURN!

BECAUSE WE HAVE A RIGHT TO WHAT WE WANT.

- ( children squealing ) - Will: NOW, THEN.

- NOW, THEN, BILLY, WHAT YOU UP TO? - NOTHING.

YES, YOU ARE, YOU WICKED LAD. COME ON UP HERE, UP THE BACK.

THERE YOU ARE. THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM NOW. OFF YOU GO, GIDDY-UP.

- WHY AREN'T THEY IN BED? - OH, URSULA, THE CHILDREN MUST LIVE.

BUT I MUST LIVE, TOO.

WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER, LASS.

MY TEACHER'S TAKING A PARTY AROUND THE LAKES NEXT WEEKEND.

GIVE HIM A LITTLE GO.

BUT YOUR UNCLE HENRY'S INVITED US TO THE HALL ON SATURDAY.

YOUR YOUNG FRIEND ANTON WILL BE THERE.

I THINK NOT.

I REALLY MUST GO WITH MY SCHOOL.

YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT.

I TOLD YOU, MEN HAVE FIXED IDEAS

OF WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD BE.

SO, WHEN THEY FIND A WOMAN WHO FITS THEIR DEFINITION,

THEY SAY THEY LOVE HER.

THEY'RE ONLY IN LOVE WITH THEMSELVES.

LIKE A SERPENT WHO MIGHT SWALLOW HIS TAIL

WHEN HE'S HUNGRY.

BUT WOMEN, THEY HAVE FIXED IDEAS, TOO.

CAN YOU SEE, URSULA? CAN YOU MAKE OUT WHAT IT IS?

- NO. - CAN'T YOU?

UP THERE ON THE SUMMIT--

THE LION LAYS DOWN WITH THE LAMB.

- CAN YOU SEE IT NOW? - YES!

IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

- CAN WE GET UP THERE? - WELL, LET'S HAVE A DRINK BEFORE WE TACKLE IT, EH?

( laughs )

WAVE TO THE LADY.

HELLO!

HOW I LOVE LIONS.

GOD IS LIKE A LION TO ME,

NOT LIKE THOSE SILLY TOY LAMBS YOU SEE IN CHURCH.

LAMBS OR LIONS. BUDDHA OR APOLLO.

CHRIST OR ZEUS.

THEY'RE ONLY SYMBOLS OF MAN'S INSTINCTUAL DESIRES.

PURELY ILLUSIONARY.

WHO DO YOU WORSHIP?

I WORSHIP THIS.

- ( roars ) - ( chuckling )

I WOULD LIKE TO BE PROUD AND STRONG LIKE A LION,

NOT WEAK LIKE A LAMB WHO ONLY EXISTS

TO BE LOVED AND SACRIFICED.

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED-- THEY'RE EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

WHEN THE LION IN YOU LAYS DOWN WITH THE LAMB IN YOU,

YOU'LL KNOW WHAT PEACE IS.

( explosion )

- WE'RE WORKING THE MINE! - ( children crying )

BE OFF WITH YOU!

DIDN'T YOU READ THE SIGN, WOMAN?

YOU ARE A MONSTER!

HOW DARE YOU COME HERE WITH YOUR MONSTROUS, FILTHY MINE?

( explosion )

COME ON, URSULA.

MAN IS TERRIBLE,

BUT THE WORKS OF MAN ARE MORE TERRIBLE STILL.

AND THE MINES ARE THE MOST TERRIBLE OF HIS WORKS.

MY UNCLE HENRY MAKES HIS FORTUNE FROM THE COLLIERIES.

- HE OWNS SEVERAL OF THE GRANGE PITS. - REALLY?

DO YOU REMEMBER THE PAINTING IN THE COTTAGE?

IT'S MAC.

I SOMETIMES MODEL FOR THE OLD RASCAL.

MAC!

Ursula: BUT WE SAW IT SO CLEARLY FROM BELOW. WHERE IS IT?

Winifred: WHERE DO YOU THINK, GIRL? USE YOUR EYES.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A PUBLIC CONVENIENCE, YOUNG LADY,

IT'S BEHIND THE NEAREST ROCK.

I'M LOOKING FOR THE LION AND THE LAMB!

IT'S BEHIND YOU, SILLY!

SO IT'S AN ILLUSION--

THE LION LAYING DOWN WITH THE LAMB.

YOU'RE THE THIRD PERSON THIS AFTERNOON

TO MAKE THE SAME OBSERVATION.

MUST BE SOMETHING IN IT.

DISTANCE LENDS ENCHANTMENT.

MAC, THIS IS URSULA, ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SORT OF PEOPLE.

- IS SHE NOW? - MM-HMM.

DO YOU ALWAYS BUMP INTO EACH OTHER

SO CASUALLY ON MOUNTAIN PEAKS?

MORE OFTEN IN THE STUDIO.

DO YOU THINK SHE'D POSE FOR ME, FRED?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO, URSULA?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M A BIT OF A FIDGET. WHEN?

THEY'LL BE A LITTLE POCKET MONEY IN IT FOR YOU.

WHAT ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY?

I'LL COME ALONG, IF YOU LIKE.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M NOT A CHILD.

MacAllister: I SHALL CALL THE PICTURE

"EXPERIENCE REWARDING INNOCENCE."

I GENERALLY CHOOSE MY TITLES WITH A CERTAIN CYNICISM,

BUT THIS IS AN EXCEPTION.

I HAD ALMOST GIVEN UP HOPE

OF FINDING PURITY IN A GIRL YOUR AGE.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SMILE?

IT'S NOT YOUR FACE I'M PAINTING AT THE MOMENT.

YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL, URSULA. ARE YOU NOT?

MY PARENTS DON'T ALWAYS THINK SO.

PARENTS SELDOM DO.

DO THEY SMACK YOUR BOTTOM?

( chuckles ) NOT ANYMORE.

DOMESTIC BLISS IS A PLEASURE I'VE BEEN DENIED.

I'M CHILDLESS AND WIFELESS.

I HAVE TO RELY ON OTHERS FOR MY CREATURE COMFORTS--

FREE SPIRITS UNTAMED BY CONVENTION.

JOLLY GOOD SPORTS LIKE FRED.

I FEEL YOU ARE SUCH A KINDRED SPIRIT, URSULA.

YOU HAVE WITHIN YOU THE POWER

TO MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST OF MEN.

AT FIRST THE IDEA OF MY CHASTISING YOU

MAY SEEM ABHORRENT.

THAT IS MERELY THROUGH ASSOCIATION.

BUT WHEN YOU SEE THE INTENSE DELIGHT IT AFFORDS ME,

YOU'LL SEE IT NOT AS A VIOLATION,

BUT AN ACT OF LOVE.

I WILL AWAKEN IN YOU A WORLD OF SENSUALITY

OF WHICH YOU'VE NEVER DREAMED.

AND YOU WILL NOT FIND MY GRATITUDE UNGENEROUS.

THE PAIN IS NOTHING-- PASSES IN A MOMENT.

AND THE MARKS SOON FADE.

BUT SHOULD I DRAW BLOOD,

YOU WILL FEEL THE SALT OF MY TEARS IN YOUR PRECIOUS WOUNDS.

I BELIEVE THERE WAS MENTION OF A MODELING FEE.

GET OUT!

HOW DARE YOU LEAD ME ON,

YOU MONEY-GRUBBING BITCH!

YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE TROLLOP!

GET OUT!

HA!

HALT!

QUITE COMMENDABLE, URSULA.

YOU HAVE THE SKILL, BUT YOU LACK THE DESIRE TO WIN.

YES, MISS. THANK YOU.

AND DESIRE, GIRLS,

IS THE SOURCE OF ALL TRUTH AND GOOD.

CLASS DISMISSED!

OH, THERE'LL BE NO INSTRUCTION NEXT WEEK OWING TO THE EXAMS,

SO GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU.

Girls: THANK YOU, MISS. HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY.

SO, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GOT PICKED ON TODAY.

URSULA... I'M SORRY ABOUT MAC.

I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT THROUGH.

- IT WAS-- - AN ACT OF LOVE, PERHAPS?

IN A WAY.

THERE ARE THINGS ONE SHOULD UNDERSTAND ABOUT LIFE,

EVEN ARTISTS.

- IT'S BEST TO BE PREPARED. - BUT WHO PREPARED ME FOR THAT?

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.

I WAS HALF-EXPECTING YOU LAST WEEKEND.

I WAS STUDYING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THE HOLIDAYS?

MY UNCLE HENRY'S INVITED ME OVER TO GRANGE HALL.

I TOLD HIM I SHOULD LIKE TO BRING YOU.

YOU WILL COME, WON'T YOU?

( sighs )

- ( horn honks ) - Chauffeur: OUT OF THE WAY!

NEARLY LATE FOR HIS OWN FUNERAL.

THERE HASN'T BEEN A DEATH IN THE FAMILY, HAS THERE?

NO, MISS. IT WERE ONLY A MINER.

- A MINER? - AYE, JIM LARCH.

A FINE LOADER HE WAS, TOO. HE LEAVES A WIFE AND TWO BEANS.

- WAS IT AN ACCIDENT? - CONSUMPTION.

IT GETS THEM SOONER OR LATER.

HE DIED GRADUALLY LIKE, FRETFUL AND FRETTING.

ME FATHER WENT OFF JUST THE SAME.

IT'S A RELIEF WHEN IT'S OVER.

- GRUESOME. - AND THE WIDOW?

SHE'LL BE GETTING MARRIED AGAIN DIRECTLY.

HER TWO SISTERS HAVE JUST CHANGED HUSBANDS.

ONE MAN AND ANOTHER, THEY'RE ALL COLLIERS.

- OH. - AND IS UNCLE HENRY GOING TO THE FUNERAL?

NO, MISS, BUT HE ALWAYS SENDS THE BIGGEST WREATH.

AH! THERE YOU ARE.

AND ABOUT TIME, TOO.

THOUGH YOU'VE MISSED POOR ANTON, I'M AFRAID.

HE WAS DISAPPOINTED.

NEVER MIND.

I'M PLEASED YOUR FRIEND COULD MANAGE IT.

( door shuts )

HELLO.

- I'M HENRY BRANGWEN. - HELLO.

- WELCOME TO GRANGE HALL. - THANK YOU.

I'M SO GLAD THAT--

OH, I MEAN SORRY. YOU'RE UPSET?

( chuckles ) NO.

SHE JUST SAW YOUR WREATH AND BURST INTO TEARS

AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT POOR MINER.

I DID NO SUCH THING. I'VE A SMUT IN MY EYE.

FROM ONE OF YOUR FILTHY CHIMNEYS DOWN AT THE PIT.

LET ME HAVE A LOOK.

WILLIAM SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE TOP DOWN THIS TIME OF DAY.

HE'S BONE IDLE. JUST LOOK UP.

THERE.

SOUVENIR.

- WHY ARE THE MEN SO SAD? - ARE THEY?

THEY SEEM UNUTTERABLY SAD.

I WOULDN'T GO AS FAR AS THAT.

OH, THEY JUST TAKE IT ALL FOR GRANTED.

THEY ACCEPT THEIR LOT.

WHY DON'T THEY ALTER IT?

THEY BELIEVE THEY MUST ALTER THEMSELVES TO FIT THE PITS AND THE PLACE

RATHER THAN ALTER THE PITS AND THE PLACE TO FIT THEMSELVES.

IT'S EASIER.

YOU AGREE.

YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, AGREE THAT LIVING HUMAN BEINGS

SHOULD JUST ADAPT THEMSELVES TO ALL KINDS OF HORRORS!

WE COULD EASILY DO WITHOUT THE PITS!

AYE, UNTIL THE WOOD RAN OUT.

PERHAPS THEIR LIVES AREN'T REALLY SO BAD.

WELL, THEY ARE PRETTY BAD.

THE PITS ARE DEEP AND HOT

AND IN SOME PLACES WET.

BUT THEY'RE PAID GOOD WAGES.

THEY ARE SOLD TO THE PIT.

AND THE WOMEN?

WHAT DO THEY GET?

THEY GET WHAT'S LEFT.

( birds chirping )

HOW DELIGHTFUL TO HEAR BIRDS SINGING AT NIGHT.

( laughs )

YOU WILL EXCUSE ME. GOOD NIGHT!

OH, DEAR.

WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW?

OH, IT'S THE CANARIES. I BREED THEM FOR THE PITS.

THE MEN TAKE THEM DOWN THERE WHEN THEY GO TO WORK.

HOW LOVELY.

WHEN THEY STOP SINGING, IT MEANS THERE'S GAS ABOUT.

ONE WHIFF, AND THEY'RE DEAD.

THE MEN HAVE ABOUT A MINUTE'S GRACE.

OH.

URSULA DOESN'T QUITE APPROVE,

BUT THEY'VE SAVED A LOT OF LIVES, THOUGH.

I GET THE IMPRESSION THAT URSULA

DOESN'T APPROVE OF YOU AT ALL.

WELL, SHE LOATHES THE FACT THAT MY FILTHY PITS

HELP SUPPORT HER FAMILY.

- PERHAPS I SHOULD GO TO HER. - AS YOU WISH.

I WAS ABOUT TO RETIRE MYSELF.

IT MUST BE TIRING WORKING THE PIT.

OH, THE PITS WORK THEMSELVES.

IT'S MY ANKLE. IT'S A STRAINED TENDON.

MY DOCTOR PRESCRIBES FREQUENT BUXTON BOUTS.

VERY ANTISOCIAL.

WELL, I'VE HEARD OF THEM PRESCRIBED FOR RHEUMATISM, BUT NEVER FOR STRAINS.

- OH, REALLY? - MM-HMM.

- I'M A QUALIFIED OSTEOPATH. - ARE YOU, NOW?

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HAVE A LOOK AT IT?

- WHERE? - ANYWHERE?

HERE, IF YOU LIKE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. THE...

AH, YOUR SERVANTS.

THEY ARE RATHER LIMITED TYPES.

SHOULD THEY SEE MY FOOT IN YOUR HAND, THEY MIGHT--

MIGHT THINK I HAD A FETISH?

YEAH, THEY MIGHT.

IT'S THE STRANGEST SENSATION--

AS IF A KITTEN HAD SWALLOWED A SNAKE.

Henry: THEN GIVE HIM TO JACOBS

BEFORE HE TAKES A FANCY TO ONE OF YOUR FINGERS.

AND WHAT'S THE OBJECT OF THIS LITTLE CAPER?

- YOU'LL TELL HER, WON'T YOU, JACOBS? - AYE, SIR.

IT'S TO SAVE OUR CROP OF PRIZED LETTUCE, MISS, FROM THE RABBITS.

THEY MAKE SUCH LOVELY PETS, LETTUCE.

OH, URSULA, DO GROW UP.

WELL, THERE'S ANOTHER PRIZED LETTUCE FOR YOU SAVED.

RIGHT, YOU SHALL HAVE IT FOR LUNCH.

YES, I CAN SEE HOW THIS GAME WOULD AMUSE YOU.

IT'S LIKE YOUR PIT, THIS WARREN.

YOUR MEN ARE RABBITS. THEY HAVEN'T GOT A HOPE.

WELL, THEY CERTAINLY BREED LIKE THEM.

( chuckles )

CATCH THEM IN A NET, OR THEY PERISH IN THE DARK--

EITHER WAY THEY'RE DOOMED.

( laughing )

Winifred: THE TROUBLE WITH URSULA

- IS SHE LACKS THE COURAGE OF HER CONVICTIONS. - ( laughing )

( grunts )

- DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME? - YES, DADDY.

YOU CAN HELP ME PLANT SOME TATERS IF YOU LIKE.

HERE WE ARE.

- SEE THESE? - MM-HMM?

THESE ARE THE SPROUTS.

THEY'VE GOT TO STAND STRAIGHT UP.

AND THEN, WE HAVE TO PUT THEM SO FAR APART.

DO YOU SEE?

THEN YOU STAY HERE,

I'LL TAKE THE BASKET DOWN TO THE OTHER END,

AND THEN WE'LL MEET IN THE MIDDLE.

- ALL RIGHT? - MM-HMM.

( grunting )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

YOU'RE JUMPING ON ALL THE SPROUTS!

THAT'S LIKE YOU, THAT IS!

NO WAY BUT TO FOLLOW YOUR OWN STUPID NOSE!

( door opens )

( sighs )

- URSULA, DEAREST, WHAT HAVE I DONE? - NOTHING.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR UNCLE HENRY AND ME?

NO, I'M GLAD.

HE'S INVITED ME TO STAY ON FOR AWHILE AFTER YOU'VE GONE.

BUT IF YOU'D RATHER I DIDN'T,

IF YOU'D RATHER WE WENT OFF SOMEWHERE TOGETHER...

NO, I HAVE TO GO HOME.

I'M EXPECTING MY EXAMINATION RESULTS.

( chuckles )

YOU'VE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THERE.

YOU ARE FOND OF HIM, AREN'T YOU?

I'VE BEEN AWFULLY FOND OF HIM EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD.

HE'S A MAN BY HIMSELF.

HE HAS SOMETHING APART FROM THE REST.

- YES, I THOUGHT YOU'D GET ON. - I KNOW YOU DID.

"LOVE SEEKETH NOT ITSELF TO PLEASE."

- BUT HENRY... - WHY NOT HENRY?

IF I THOUGHT I COULD DESTROY HIS COLLIERY, I'D DO IT.

AND PUT EVERYONE OUT OF WORK?

I'D RATHER THEY STARVE AND GRUB THE EARTH FOR ROOTS.

( laughs ) AND WHAT ABOUT US POOR WOMEN, HUH?

( sighs )

YES, I'LL STAY. IT'LL BE BEST.

NOW, TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.

( sighs ) YES.

DAD! ( laughing )

DAD!

- DAD, GUESS WHAT! - DON'T TELL ME.

BILLY'S HAD TOO MUCH BIRTHDAY CAKE AND DISGRACED HIMSELF.

- OH, DAD, PLEASE! - IT'S DADDY, LASS. DADDY.

- SO, DOES HE LIKE HIS TENT? - CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF IT.

- AYE. - DAD, I PASSED. I PASSED MY EXAMS!

HEY, WELL DONE, LASS.

IT CAME SECOND POST WITH A LETTER

FROM MY HEADMISTRESS ABOUT A JOB.

- A JOB? - CAN'T I, DAD? CAN'T I GO OUT TO WORK?

GO OUT TO WORK? WHATEVER FOR?

YOU'VE ENOUGH TO DO HELPING YOUR MOTHER.

BUT I WANT SOME OTHER KIND OF LIFE!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SOME OTHER KIND OF LIFE"?

WE'LL DISCUSS IT AFTER HIS DAY.

- Family: * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU... * - ( blowing horn )

* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR BILLY *

* HAPPY BIRTHDAY-- ( yelling, screaming )

( all laughing )

* YOU'RE OLDER, BILLY.

- ( Rupert crying ) - ( overlapping conversation )

HERE, COME HERE, RUPERT.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A ROMP WITH ME?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, RUPERT?

BILLY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO RUPERT?

MOTHER, DO SOMETHING WITH HIM, WILL YOU?

HERE NOW, WHERE ARE YOU, RUPERT?

COME HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO ALL THAT.

YOUR TURN NEXT, URSULA. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

GET HER A BICYCLE, DAD, PLEASE?

( chuckles )

TO BE FREE TO EARN MY OWN KEEP--

THAT'S THE PRESENT I'D LIKE BEST.

Will: YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO EARN ANYTHING?

I CAN BECOME A TEACHER.

I'M QUALIFIED BY MY MATRIC.

AYE.

AND HOW MUCH ARE YOU QUALIFIED TO EARN BY YOUR MATRIC?

50 POUNDS A YEAR.

IT'S NOT MUCH, BUT IT'S ENOUGH TO LIVE ON.

WHAT KIND OF TEACHER DO YOU THINK YOU'LL MAKE?

YOU HAVEN'T THE PATIENCE OF A JACK-GNAT WITH YOUR OWN BROTHERS AND SISTERS,

LET ALONE A CLASS OF CHILDREN.

- SOME PEOPLE DON'T THINK SO. - OH?

MY HEADMISTRESS FOR ONE.

"I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW DEEPLY I SYMPATHIZE

WITH YOUR DESIRE TO DO SOMETHING.

I SHALL BE PROUD TO SEE ONE OF MY GIRLS

WIN HER OWN ECONOMIC INDEPENDENCE.

IT PROVIDES THE MEANS OF FREEDOM

FOR YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN WAY."

YOU HAD TO DO IT BEHIND OUR BACKS, HAD YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SCHOOL-LEAVERS ALWAYS HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH THE HEADMISTRESS, DAD.

IT'S COMPULSORY.

"I SEE NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE A GOOD TEACHER.

AFTER A YEAR OR TWO AS AN UNCERTIFIED INSTRUCTOR,

YOU COULD GO ON TO TAKE A DEGREE.

THAT WILL GIVE YOU A POSITION IN THE WORLD

AND A SELF-RESPECT WHICH NOTHING ELSE CAN."

SHE EVEN SENT ME AN APPLICATION FORM.

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT KINGSTON?

IT'S HER OLD SCHOOL. THEY HAVE A VACANCY. LOOK.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS APPLY FOR AN INTERVIEW AND HAVE YOU SIGN IT.

IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DANCING OFF

TO THE OTHER SIDE OF LONDON, YOU'RE MISTAKEN.

I HAVE TO GO WHERE THEY WANT ME,

AND IT'S A GOOD PLACE TO GO.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE PLACE?

- IT'S ON THE THAMES. IT'S LOVELY. - ( scoffs )

YOU SAID, MOTHER, WE HAVE A RIGHT TO WHAT WE WANT.

IF YOUR FATHER SAYS YOU'RE NOT TO GO, YOU'RE NOT TO GO.

WHY DON'T YOU GET A POST NEAR HERE AND LIVE AT HOME?

- SOMETHING IN TOWN. - THAT SLUM!

I'D RATHER GO RIGHT AWAY.

I'M FED UP WITH HOUSEWORK AND HANGING AROUND.

OH, INDEED?

YOU HAVE TOO MUCH OPINION OF YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

THERE'S A PLACE FOR ME, AND I WANT TO GO!

- WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING. - WHY NOT?

THAT'S WHY NOT!

( quietly ) WILL, WILL, WILL.

LONDON'S FULL OF TROOPS OFF TO SOUTH AFRICA.

IT'S NOT A PLACE FOR A YOUNG GIRL.

WE'LL--

WE'LL SEE THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES ABOUT A PLACE FOR YOU HERE.

WELL, YOU CAN PUT ME OFF NOW.

BUT SOMEDAY I AM GOING TO HAVE A PLACE,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO STOP AT HOME.

NOBODY WANTS YOU TO STOP AT HOME!

( singing in French )

( sighs )

( singing continues )

( men yelling )

( machine whirring )

- ( knocking on door ) - COME IN.

( exhales )

ISN'T IT A NASTY MORNING?

YES, NOT MUCH OF WEATHER.

AM I EARLY?

25 PAST.

YOU'RE SECOND TO COME. I'M FIRST THIS MORNING.

MUST YOU DO SO MANY?

( coughing )

- 56. - BUT THEY'RE NOT ALL FOR YOUR CLASS, ARE THEY?

- WHY AREN'T THEY? - IT'S TOO MANY.

( chuckles ) YOU'LL GET ABOUT THE SAME.

( footsteps approaching )

THAT'LL BE MISS HARBY, THE HEADMASTER'S SISTER.

OH, YOU ARE EARLY.

MY WORD, I'LL WARRANT YOU DON'T KEEP THIS UP.

THAT IS MR. HARBY'S PEG.

OOH.

THIS... IS YOURS.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO TAKE YOUR HAT OFF?

STANDARD FIVE TEACHER ALWAYS HAS THAT ONE.

( sighs )

ISN'T IT A BEASTLY MORNING?

- ( coughing ) - BEASTLY.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I HATE ABOVE ANOTHER, IT'S A WET MONDAY MORNING,

A PACK OF KIDS TRAILING IN ANYHOW, NO HOW, AND NO HOLDING THEM.

THIS BELONGS OVER THERE.

YOU'VE BROUGHT YOUR APRON, HAVEN'T YOU?

OH, WELL, YOU'LL WANT ONE.

YOU'VE NO IDEA WHAT A SIGHT YOU'LL LOOK BEFORE HALF-PAST 4:00.

JIM RICHARDS!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING PEERING IN?

COME HERE!

NOW, JIM, I WANT YOU TO GO DOWN AND ASK MAMA

TO SEND ME ONE OF MY SCHOOL PINAS

FOR MISS BRANGWEN, SHALL YOU?

- YES, MISS. - WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR

AND WHAT SHALL YOU SAY TO MAMA?

SCHOOL PINA, MISS.

"PLEASE, MRS. HARBY,

MISS HARBY SAYS, 'WILL YOU SEND DOWN

ANOTHER SCHOOL PINAFORE FOR MISS BRANGWEN,

- BECAUSE SHE'S COME WITHOUT ONE.'" - YES, MISS.

Miss Harby: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?

"PLEASE, MRS. HARBY, MISS HARBY WANTS A SCHOOL PINA FOR MISS BRANGWIN."

MISS BRANGWEN. AND DON'T TAKE LONG ABOUT IT.

OOH, HE'S A CAUTION, THAT BOY.

BUT NOT BAD, YOU KNOW? FOLLOW ME!

HERE WE ARE.

STANDARDS THREE, FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX.

THIS IS YOUR PLACE, STANDARD FIVE.

( tisking )

MR. HARBY WILL BE TEACHING THROUGH THERE.

AND HE'LL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU.

THERE.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND YOUR WAY BACK TO THE TEACHERS' ROOM,

HE SHOULD BE THERE BY NOW.

( door closes )

- YOU HAD A WET WALK. - ( chuckles ) I DON'T MIND.

I'M USED TO IT.

( door opens )

( children playing )

YOU WILL SIGN YOUR NAME HERE...

AND THE TIME WHEN YOU COME AND GO.

MISS BRANGWEN, THERE ARE SOME EXERCISE BOOKS ON THE TOP SHELF.

GET THEM DOWN FOR ME, WOULD YOU?

I'M SO SORRY.

( papers rustling )

- ( man clears throat ) - I'D LET THEM IN NOW.

MISS BRANGWEN, YOU'LL GO TO THE LOBBY WITH MR. BRUNT.

DOOR!

- ( bell clanging ) - ( children squealing )

BENSON! SHARP! LOOK SHARP!

WAKE UP! WAKE UP! FRONT!

- QUIET DOWN! QUIET! - IN LINE! FRONT, IN LINE.

WHAT DID I SAY?

- QUIET! - ( chatter stops )

LEADERS IN PLACE!

STANDARDS FOUR, FIVE, AND SIX...

FALL IN!

( blows whistle )

- ( piano music playing ) - ( children marching )

UH, CLASS FIVE, QUICK MARCH!

Mr. Harby: HALT!

( music and marching stop )

WHO TOLD STANDARD FIVE TO COME IN FIRST LIKE THIS?

( coughing )

I-- I'M RESPONSIBLE, MR. HARBY.

THIS IS MISS BRANGWEN,

THE REPLACEMENT TEACHER FOR STANDARD FIVE.

FOR HER BENEFIT, WE'LL START AGAIN.

( blows whistle )

( cracks knuckles )

( blows whistle )

( piano music playing )

( blows whistle )

YOU WILL GIVE AN ACCOUNT OF THE MODERN FACTORY.

YOU WILL DESCRIBE THE METHOD OF ASSEMBLY OF A GIVEN PRODUCT.

I WILL EXPECT YOU TO SHOW THE EFFECTS

OF THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION...

WE WILL START WITH A COMPOSITION.

WRITE ME A SHORT ESSAY ON... THE RABBIT.

( children groaning )

MISS, I GOT THE PINA I WAS SENT FOR.

OH, YES, THANK YOU-- TIMMY, ISN'T IT?

- NO, MISS. IT'S JIM. - OH, I'M SORRY. THANK YOU.

Children in next classroom: 12 TIMES FOUR IS 48.

ONE TIMES FIVE IS FIVE.

TWO TIMES FIVE IS 10.

( children laughing )

- Mr. Harby: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? - ( laughing stops )

Children in next classroom: SIX TIMES FIVE IS 30.

YES, RICHARDS?

SIR, MISS FORGOT HER PINA, SIR.

MISS HARBY SENT ME DOWN FOR ONE OF HERS.

I PUT IT IN ME SATCHEL, SIR, SO IT WOULDN'T GET RAINED ON.

AND THERE WERE CHALK IN IT, SIR.

AND I FORGOT, SIR.

SPELL THE WORD "PINAFORE."

P-I-N-A-F-O-U-R?

( children laughing )

YOU WILL WRITE OUT THE WORD "PINAFORE" CORRECTLY

100 TIMES ON THE BLACKBOARD AFTER SCHOOL.

MISS BRANGWEN WILL SUPERVISE YOU.

AND THIS TIME, SHE WILL SUPPLY THE CHALK.

( all laughing )

- SILENCE. - ( laughing stops )

RESUME YOUR STUDIES.

I WILL EXAMINE YOUR EFFORTS IN THE MORNING.

( door opens )

- ISN'T IT DONE? - NOT YET.

I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A STOVE.

MUST BE RATHER JOLLY BRINGING LUNCH, DON'T YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW AS I DO.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IF ONE WERE TO LIVE HERE,

IT WOULD BE JOLLIER TO GO HOME.

MISS BRANGWEN,

IF I WERE YOU, I SHOULD GET A BIT TIGHTER HAND ON MY CLASS.

WOULD YOU?

AREN'T I STRICT ENOUGH?

BECAUSE THEY'LL GET YOU DOWN

IF YOU DON'T TACKLE THEM PRETTY QUICK.

THEY'LL PULL YOU DOWN AND WORRY YOU UNTIL HARBY GETS YOU SHIFTED.

THAT'S HOW IT'LL BE.

YOU WON'T LAST A MONTH IF YOU DON'T TACKLE THEM

AND TACKLE THEM QUICK.

- BUT I-- - OH, I KNOW HE'S GOT HIS EYE ON YOU.

BUT IF YOU GET INTO HIS BAD BOOKS,

NOTHING WILL SAVE YOU. YOU'LL BE OUT.

NOT THAT IT MATTERS TO ME...

EXCEPT YOU'LL LEAVE A CLASS BEHIND YOU

AS I HOPE I SHAN'T HAVE TO COPE WITH.

- WILL IT BE SO TERRIBLE? - DON'T KNOW ABOUT TERRIBLE.

I DO FEEL FRIGHTENED.

- THE CHILDREN SEEM SO-- - SO WHAT?

MR. BRUNT SAYS I SHOULD TACKLE MY CLASS.

OH, YOU HAVE TO KEEP ORDER IF YOU WANT TO TEACH.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE HERE. - MMM.

IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?

AND YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT BY YOURSELF.

YOU'LL GET NO HELP FROM ANYBODY.

OH, INDEED.

SOME PEOPLE CAN'T BE HELPED.

DO YOU THINK THERE REALLY WILL BE A WAR?

MORE LIKE A BLOODY MASSACRE IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT.

( children murmuring )

WHEN YOU SAY, "THEIR FUR IS BROWN," HOW DO YOU SPELL "THEIR"?

PLEASE, PLEASE, MISS! T-H-E-I-R!

- RICHARDS, STAND UP. - WHO TOLD YOU TO CALL OUT?

- I WAS ANSWERING, SIR. - GO TO MY DESK.

PENS DOWN.

FOLD ARMS.

WHAT IS THE SUBJECT OF YOUR COMPOSITION?

I WOULDN'T ADVISE YOU TO CALL OUT.

- WELL, ALICE? - THE RABBIT, SIR.

NOT A VERY DIFFICULT SUBJECT FOR STANDARD FIVE,

NOR A VERY ORIGINAL ONE.

EDISON, STOP NIBBLING ON YOUR LIP.

YOU'VE WRITTEN ABOUT RABBITS SO OFTEN YOU'RE TURNING INTO ONE.

( children laugh, stop )

- ( cane striking ) - ( Jim crying out )

THAT'LL DO, RICHARDS. YOU CAN GO.

BUT, MISS, I MUST 100 TIMES.

I KNOW, BUT YOU MAY GO HOME NOW.

I SAID GO HOME.

( door closes )

OW!

I CUT MY FINGER ON A NAIL.

- OH, WHERE WAS THAT, NOW? - UM, ON MY DESK.

YOU MUST SHOW ME. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU.

YES, THANK YOU. I WILL, TOMORROW.

ABOUT RICHARDS, MISS BRANGWEN,

YOU'VE MADE A ROD FOR YOUR OWN BACK.

YOU'RE VERY YOUNG, AREN'T YOU?

AND INEXPERIENCED.

HARDLY OUT OF SCHOOL YOURSELF.

I COULD BE VERY USEFUL TO YOU, MISS BRANGWEN.

I COULD MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU,

SO MUCH EASIER, IF ONLY YOU'D...

I COULD SWALLOW YOU WHOLE.

YOU SEE, MISS BRANGWEN,

ONLY MY CANE RULES THIS SCHOOL.

( crying )

OH, HELLO, LASS. HOW DID IT GO?

FINE, DAD.

OF COURSE, IT'S A BIT STRANGE AT FIRST.

BOUND TO BE.

HEY, YOU JUST MISSED YOUR UNCLE HENRY.

OH?

DROPPED IN OUT OF THE BLUE WITH A LADY.

- OH? - YOUR OLD TEACHER.

- MISS INGER. - AYE.

SEEMS THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.

AND GUESS WHAT.

THEY WANT YOU TO BE CHIEF BRIDESMAID.

( laughing )

- ( chatter ) - ( glass clinking )

- Will: RELATIONS, NEIGHBORS, AND FRIENDS... - THIS COULD TAKE HOURS.

...LIFT UP YOUR GLASSES AND DRINK TO THE HEARTH AND THE HOME.

THE HEARTH, THE HOME, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM.

Guests: THE HEARTH, THE HOME, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM.

NIGHT AND DAY, AND MAY THEY ENJOY IT.

AYE, NIGHT AND DAY, AND MAY YOU ENJOY THEM!

HAMMER AND TONGS, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM.

Guests: HAMMER AND TONGS, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM.

- BED AND BLESSINGS, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM. - ( all laughing )

Guests: BED AND BLESSINGS, AND MAY THEY ENJOY THEM.

- SEE, MARRIAGE-- MARRIAGE-- - ( all groaning )

MARRIAGE IS-- WELL, IT'S WHAT WE'RE MADE FOR.

A MAN ENJOYS BEING A MAN.

FOR WHAT PURPOSE WAS HE MADE A MAN IF NOT TO ENJOY IT?

NOW, THAT'S A TRUE WORD.

AYE, AND LIKEWISE, A WOMAN ENJOYS BEING A WOMAN.

- Guests: OOH! - AT LEAST...

WE SURMISE THAT SHE DOES.

NOW, FOR A MAN TO BE A MAN,

- IT TAKES A WOMAN. - Man: HOORAY!

AND FOR A WOMAN TO BE A WOMAN... IT TAKES A MAN.

( others cheering )

AND THEREFORE, WE HAVE MARRIAGE!

NOW, DON'T RUN US OFF OUR LEGS, BROTHER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

AH, THERE IS NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN.

BUT ON EARTH, THERE IS MARRIAGE.

WELL, IF THERE ARE NO MARRIAGES IN HEAVEN,

THEN WHERE DO THE ANGELS COME FROM?

( all laughing )

AH.

ANGE-- WELL, IF THERE'S GOT TO BE ANGELS--

WELL, THERE'S GOT TO BE, HASN'T THERE?

- WELL-- - Man: COME ON, WILL!

WELL, IF THERE'S GOT TO BE ANGELS,

AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A MAN NOR A WOMAN AMONGST THEM,

THEN IT SEEMS TO ME

AS A MARRIED COUPLE MAKES ONE ANGEL.

IT'S THE DRINK. ( laughs )

GO ON, GO ON. YOU GO ON, WILL.

AN ANGEL HAS GOT TO BE MORE THAN A HUMAN BEING.

SO I SAY, AN ANGEL

IS THE SOUL OF A MAN AND A WOMAN IN ONE.

AND-- AND-- AND-- NO, WAIT, WAIT!

THEY RISE UP, UNITED IN THE JUDGMENT DAY,

- AS ONE ANGEL! - ( guests groan )

- I HAD AN ANGEL UP ME NOSE ONCE. - ( all laughing )

OH, MY MOTHER GAVE ME SUCH A HIDING.

"WHY ARE YOU POKING ABOUT UP THERE LIKE THAT?"

SHE SAID, "GIVE OVER."

I SAID, "I'VE GOT AN ANGEL UP ME NOSE."

AND SHE GAVE ME SUCH A SWIPE.

AND THERE IT WAS.

WE USED TO CALL THOSE DANDELION SEEDS THAT FLOAT ABOUT "ANGELS,"

AND I HAD STUFFED ONE RIGHT UP ME NOSE.

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHY.

WELL, IF I'M TO BECOME AN ANGEL,

IT'LL BE ME MARRIED SOUL, NOT ME SINGLE SOUL.

SO I SAY,

AN ANGEL IS THE SOUL

OF A MAN AND A WOMAN IN ONE.

( guests murmuring )

Winifred: HOW LOVELY.

PRAISE THE LORD.

Guests: PRAISE THE LORD!

PRAISE THE LORD!

( waltz playing )

ISN'T IT NICE TO HAVE A WEDDING?

- YOU HAVE CONFETTI IN YOUR HAIR. - DO I?

I HALF-EXPECTED NEWS OF YOU. I HEAR YOU'RE TEACHING.

YES. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT'VE GONE OFF TO WAR.

I EMBARK AT SOUTHAMPTON ON FRIDAY.

( song ends )

- DO YOU WANT TO GO? - I WANT TO GO, YES.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

TAKE YOUR PARTNERS FOR THE LANCERS, PLEASE.

( music playing )

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO TO WAR?

I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING GENUINE.

- IT'S A SORT OF TOY LIFE AS IT IS. - WHAT'LL YOU BE DOING?

MAKING RAILWAYS, BUILDING BRIDGES,

WORKING LIKE A SLAVE.

BUT YOU'D ONLY MAKE YOUR BRIDGES TO BE PULLED DOWN AGAIN

WHEN THE ARMIES ARE DONE WITH THEM.

IT'S LIKE A GAME, REALLY.

WELL, IT'S HARDLY A GAME TO THOSE TAKING PART.

IT'S ABOUT THE MOST SERIOUS BUSINESS THERE IS, FIGHTING.

WHY IS FIGHTING MORE SERIOUS THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

TEACHING FOR INSTANCE.

YOU EITHER KILL OR GET KILLED.

I SUPPOSE IT'S SERIOUS ENOUGH, KILLING.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, YOU DON'T MATTER ANYMORE.

YES, BUT THE RESULT MATTERS.

IT MATTERS WHETHER WE SETTLE THE BOERS OR NOT.

NOT TO YOU OR TO ME.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE DESERTS OF AFRICA.

- DO YOU? - I DON'T.

BUT WE HAVE TO BACK UP THOSE WHO DO.

OTHERWISE IT'S THE END OF THE NATION.

BUTAREN'T THE NATION.

THERE ARE HEAPS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE THE NATION.

THEY MIGHT SAY THEY WEREN'T, EITHER.

WELL, THEN, IF EVERYBODY SAID IT,

THERE WOULDN'T BE A NATION,

BUT I SHOULD STILL BE MYSELF.

THEN YOU'D BE AT THE MERCY OF EVERY HALF-NAKED ROBBER THAT CAME ALONG.

( chuckles ) THEY WOULDN'T GET MUCH.

ANYWAY, I'D RATHER BE SWEPT OFF MY FEET BY A HALF-NAKED ROBBER

THAN A SOLDIER DEFENDING MY HONOR.

THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE ME OUT OF UNIFORM.

( lock clicks )

WILL THIS DO?

NOW MAY I STEAL YOUR HEART?

IT'S NOT MY HEART YOU WANT, BUT MY SOUL.

KISS ME.

( both grunt )

- YES. - ( grunts )

KISS ME, ANTON. KISS ME.

KISS ME!

- ( chattering, laughter ) - ( military music playing )

THEY SEE WAR AS A GAME ANYWAY.

- BANG! - ( mock gasping )

ARRGH!

( blows raspberry )

( laughing )

- ( song ends ) - ( applause )

Henry: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

- ANTON? - WHAT?

- COME BACK TO ME. - YES.

- YOU WILL COME BACK TO ME. - I WILL COME BACK.

( music starts )

- I'M GOING TO DANCE WITH ANTON. - ARE YOU SURE?

MAY I TAKE THE SOLDIER?

Henry: AYE, AYE, THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU, WILL.

IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU.

- URSULA'S LOOKING A BIT UPSET. - OH?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER TO DANCE?

- GO AND ASK HER. - YOU THINK SO?

GO ASK HER NOW. GO ON.

AS THE FATHER OF THE CHIEF BRIDESMAID,

MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE?

SUCH A CONDITION IN A CLASS.

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

SIMPLY DISGRACEFUL.

I CAN'T THINK HOW YOU'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO GET LIKE IT.

EVERY MONDAY MORNING, I SHALL COME DOWN AND EXAMINE THESE BOOKS,

SO DON'T THINK BECAUSE THERE'S NO ONE PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO YOU,

YOU'RE FREE TO UNLEARN EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER LEARNED

AND GO BACK UNTIL YOU'RE NOT FIT FOR STANDARD THREE.

WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN PENCIL, BENSON?

BECAUSE THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH PENS TO GO AROUND.

NOT ENOUGH PENS, MISS BRANGWEN?

NO. WE ARE FIVE SHORT.

OH, AND HOW IS THAT?

- HOW MANY ARE HERE TODAY? - 24.

24. AND HOW MANY PENS ARE THERE, STAPLES?

PLEASE, SIR, 19.

THAT'S A VERY CURIOUS THING.

A FEW DAYS AGO THERE WERE 24 PENS, AND NOW THERE ARE 19.

WHAT'S 19 FROM 24, RICHARDS?

PLEASE, SIR?

I'M WAITING, RICHARDS.

11, SIR.

I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO ATTEND. 19 FROM 24 IS FIVE.

SO THERE ARE FIVE PENS TO ACCOUNT FOR.

HAVE YOU LOOKED FOR THEM, STAPLES?

YES, SIR.

AM I TO HAVE THIEVING BESIDES YOUR DIRT

AND BAD WORK AND BAD BEHAVIOR?

NOT CONTENT WITH BEING THE WORST BEHAVED

AND LAZIEST CLASS IN THE SCHOOL,

YOU ARE THIEVES INTO THE BARGAIN.

PENS DO NOT MELT INTO THE AIR.

THEY ARE NOT IN THE HABIT OF MIZZLING AWAY INTO NOTHING.

WHAT HAS BECOME OF THEM?

THEY MUST BE SOMEWHERE, AND THEY MUST BE FOUND,

AND FOUND BY STANDARD FIVE.

THEY WERE LOST BY STANDARD FIVE, AND THEY MUST BE FOUND!

( whistle blows )

STANDARD FIVE WILL FOREGO RECREATION UNTIL ALL PENS ARE FOUND!

MISS BRANGWEN WILL ORGANIZE THE SEARCH.

TO START WITH, YOU WILL TURN OUT YOUR DESKS COMPLETELY.

NOT JUST YOUR BOOKS, BUT CONKERS,

BALLS OF STRING, SWEETS-- EVERYTHING!

Boy: GET OFF! OW!

BE QUIET, WESLEY. WHAT IS IT?

PLEASE, MISS. RICHARDS HIT ME.

COME IN FRONT, RICHARDS.

- I SAID, COME IN FRONT! - SHUT UP!

AH! GET OFF!

STAND STILL! NOW FOLD YOUR ARMS!

( children laughing )

- GET OFF ME, YOU BITCH! - AH!

AH!

( laughter continues )

( crying out )

Jim: AH, GET OFF!

STOP HITTING ME!

( all yelling )

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

( Jim groaning )

I'VE THRASHED HIM.

GET UP!

GO AND STAND BY MY DESK.

( children chattering )

IF YOU SETTLE BENSON AND STAPLES THE SAME WAY, MISS BRANGWEN,

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

PUT YOUR THINGS AWAY TIDILY!

LOOK SHARP, LOOK SHARP.

INSIDE, INSIDE. TO YOUR PLACES.

I SAID...

PUT YOUR THINGS AWAY TIDILY!

( clapping )

THERE WILL BE NO MORE TIME WASTED LOOKING FOR LOST PENS.

NEW PENS WILL BE ISSUED FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING.

CARRY ON!

Children in other class: 22 YARDS MAKE A CHAIN,

10 CHAINS MAKE A FURLONG,

EIGHT FURLONGS MAKE A MILE,

FOUR GILLS MAKE A PINT,

TWO PINTS MAKE A QUART,

FOUR QUARTS MAKE A GALLON.

( giggling )

- WHAT'S IT SAY? - YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL.

SINCE IT'S ALL ABOUT THE WEATHER, IT MUST BE IN CODE.

NO, NO, LET GUDRUN DO IT.

THERE'S A TATIE-POT KEEPING WARM IN THE OVEN FOR YOU.

THANKS, MAMA.

( scales playing on piano )

DAD IN CHURCH?

AS USUAL.

AREN'T YOU HUNGRY?

- PAYDAY. - HAVE YOU BEEN THERE A MONTH ALREADY?

THIS IS MY BOARD.

50 SHILLINGS.

AYE.

COME GET YOUR DINNER NOW.

BILLY, BEDTIME.

( sighs )

Gudrun: AND THAT WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF HER LIFE.

Anton: AND THIS, I PRESUME,

IS A SOUVENIR FROM THE CLASS BOUQUET.

A MEMENTO OF ALL THE SUNNY DAYS SHE SPENT AT THAT PRISON.

OH, BY HER LETTERS, I GATHERED SHE RATHER ENJOYED THE CHALLENGE.

- NOBODY LIKES SCHOOL. - YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR ART SCHOOL?

OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.

HERE'S US AT SCARBOROUGH DURING THE HOLIDAYS.

( both laugh )

- A FEW SUNNY DAYS ON PAROLE. - WE HAD A FINE TIME.

DAD AND I RAN THE HANDICRAFT SCHOOL.

URSULA SPENT HER TIME DOWN AT THE HARBOR WITH THE SAILORS.

- NO SOUVENIRS OF THEM? - NOT HERE.

THERE'S PLENTY OF YOU, THOUGH.

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED ABOUT THIS ONE.

- WHO ARE THOSE WRETCHED FOLK? - THEY'RE BOERS.

THE ENEMY. ( clicks tongue )

BUT THEY'RE CIVILIANS.

AND THAT WOMAN-- WERE YOU FIGHTING WOMEN?

SHE HAD SIX NOTCHES IN HER RIFLE.

- WHY? - SIX NOTCHES, SIX LIVES.

CARLISLE COLLEGE WITH THE SUFFRAGETTES

AND WITH THE TEACHERS.

- ANOTHER PRISON? - ( laughs )

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

CROSS-SECTION OF HUMAN HAIR.

SUCH DELICATE ABSTRACTION.

I PREFER THE COARSE REALITY--

- GUDRUN! - ( door opens )

ANTON WAS JUST ADMIRING YOUR HAIR.

SHE WAS ONLY BEING POLITE.

WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU.

YES. THE EXAM STARTED LATE.

- HOW DID YOU DO? - NOT VERY WELL.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ENCOURAGED HER.

NO, BUT I WAS ALL AGOG.

YOU'VE BEEN VERY BUSY THESE LAST TWO YEARS, HAVEN'T YOU?

( scoffs )

YES.

- SO HAVE YOU, I GATHER. - YES.

- I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU. - THANK YOU.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO DO?

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?

THERE'S NOTHING TO DO HERE.

THEN LET'S WALK. WHERE SHOULD WE WALK?

BY THE RIVER?

ACTUALLY, I WAS QUITE FLATTERED

BY THE SPACE ALLOCATED TO ME IN YOUR SCRAPBOOK.

SOLDIERING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TEACHING.

I HAD HOPED YOU HAD FORGOTTEN THAT.

THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE REGRETTED THAT LAST EVENING...

IT COULD'VE ENDED THERE AND THEN.

NO, YOU WERE RIGHT.

I ENJOYED TEACHING IN THAT AWFUL SCHOOL

BECAUSE I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES FOR COLLEGE.

I SAW IT AS SOME KIND OF RELIGIOUS RETREAT,

A TEMPLE DEDICATED TO TRUTH AND LEARNING.

IN REALITY, IT'S JUST A FACTORY

WHERE YOU LEARN TO MAKE MONEY.

IN THE ARMY, WE EARN GLORY.

I READ THE CASUALTY LISTS EVERY WEEK.

- IT WAS HORRIBLE. - I KNEW I'D COME BACK.

I WENT BACK TO OUR CHURCH ONCE.

EVERYTHING WAS CLEAN AND ORDERLY.

IT SEEMED LIKE A DREAM.

- IT'S GETTING DARK. - SHALL I HOLD YOUR HAND?

( water running )

I'M NOT AFRAID OF THE DARK IN ENGLAND.

IT'S SOFT AND NATURAL TO ME.

IT'S MY MEDIUM, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE HERE.

- THE DARKNESS-- WERE YOU AFRAID OF IT IN AFRICA? - YES.

THE DARKNESS THERE IS FILLED WITH FEAR,

LIKE THE SMELL OF BLOOD.

THE BLACKS KNOW IT.

THEY WORSHIP IT, REALLY-- THE DARKNESS.

ONE ALMOST LIKES IT.

THE FEAR IS SOMETHING SENSUAL.

DID YOU THINK OF ME IN THE DARKNESS?

YOU WERE ALWAYS AT THE BACK OF EVERYTHING.

I HAD TO COME BACK TO YOU.

THIS IS LOVELY.

DO YOU THINK SO? I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.

THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE, IT WAS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES, TOO.

- ANOTHER LOVER? - YES.

- AREN'T I THE FIRST? - FIRST AND LAST.

- NO, IT WAS WINIFRED. - REALLY?

SHE WAS THE FIRST GREAT PASSION IN MY LIFE.

I'M SURE SHE SAID ABOVE THE FRONT DOOR.

YES, HERE WE ARE.

( door unlocking )

WELCOME.

( both giggling )

I LOVE YOUR BODY.

I'M GLAD YOU DON'T GO AROUND NAKED ALL THE TIME

OR ALL THE WOMEN WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

THEY DO REGULARLY.

IN MY CIRCLE, I'M CONSIDERED QUITE A CATCH.

OH, ANOTHER FISH OUT OF WATER, I HOPE,

FLAPPING ABOUT ON THE GROUND.

WELL, NO.

THERE'S MY COLONEL'S DAUGHTER, FOR INSTANCE.

- ( cork pops ) - ( laughing )

( laughs )

( sniffing )

- SCENT? - SOAP.

SOAP?

( whispering )

WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE IN INDIA OR ENGLAND WHEN WE'RE MARRIED?

OH, INDIA, BY FAR. HOW NICE OF YOU TO ASK.

IT WAS DECIDED LONG AGO, WASN'T IT?

WHEN I FIRST KISSED YOU.

I THINK YOU'LL LIKE INDIA.

THERE'S A GOOD DEAL OF SOCIAL LIFE, PLENTY GOING ON.

THERE'S HUNTING, POLO-- I'LL TEACH YOU TO RIDE.

AND PLENTY OF SERVANTS...

WHO COOK, WHO BATHE BABIES, KEEP YOU COOL.

SHALL I BE TEACHING LITTLE HINDUS

TO WRITE ESSAYS ON THE RABBIT?

YOU'LL BE MY WIFE. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO TEACH.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL.

BUT I DO WANT TO TEACH.

AND I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

I WANT TO BE LIKE THIS.

ISN'T THIS ENOUGH?

IT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW.

THEN LET'S HAVE NO MORE TALK OF MARRIAGE.

WHICH MEANS, I SUPPOSE, THAT I'M TO GET SUPPER TOMORROW.

- ( both laughing ) - I'LL KEEP YOU TO THAT.

( birds chirping )

( horn honking )

- STRAWBERRIES! STRAWBERRIES! - ( horn honks )

FRESH, RIPE STRAWBERRIES!

HENRY, SHUSH! YOU MIGHT WAKE THEM.

WHAT, WITH ALL THIS HOLLERING AND POUNDING? WHAT LOGIC.

I EXPECTED THEM UP AT THIS HOUR.

OH, WOMAN, YOU HAVE A FICKLE MEMORY INDEED.

- ( chuckles ) - STRAWBERRIES!

FRESH, RIPE STRAWBERRIES!

- WHAT A BORE. - WELL, SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE CHAPERONING US.

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HER GUESTS.

- WERE YOU EXPECTING HER? - DIDN'T I MENTION IT?

Henry: LIEUTENANT SKREBENSKY, IT'S YOUR STAFF SERGEANT HERE!

Winifred: URSULA! ANTON! I WONDER WHERE THEY ARE?

MAYBE THEY'VE GONE OUT.

- Henry: DON'T BE STUPID, WOMAN. - ( baby crying )

- Winifred: AHA! - GOOD MORNING, GROCER!

KINDLY LEAVE THEM ON THE DOORSTEP AND GO AWAY.

( laughing )

URSULA, WHY HAVE YOU GOT YOUR BLOOMERS AROUND YOUR NECK?

( all laughing )

- Ursula: ANTON'S WEARING MY NIGHTIE. - ( all laughing )

BUT DO YOU LOVE HIM?

IT ISN'T A QUESTION OF LOVING HIM.

I LOVE HIM WELL ENOUGH,

CERTAINLY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

AND I SHALL NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE THE SAME AGAIN.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN, "LOVE"?

SO MUCH PERSONAL GRATIFICATION.

- IT DOESN'T LEAD ANYWHERE. - IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO LEAD ANYWHERE, IS IT?

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN END IN ITSELF.

THEN WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO ME?

AS AN END IN ITSELF, I COULD LOVE A HUNDRED MEN, ONE AFTER THE OTHER.

WHY SHOULD I END WITH ANTON

AS "MRS. SKREBENSKY, SOCIAL WIFE"?

WHY NOT GO ON AND ON AND LOVE ALL THE TYPES I FANCY

AS "URSULA BRANGWEN, SPINSTER, SCHOOLMISTRESS"?

THEN YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.

I TELL YOU I DO,

QUITE AS MUCH AND PERHAPS MORE

THAN I SHOULD LOVE ANY OF THE OTHERS.

BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT AREN'T IN ANTON

THAT I SHOULD LOVE IN OTHER MEN.

LIKE WHAT?

AN UNDERSTANDING OF THINGS, A DIRECTNESS.

A MAN WHO COULD REALLY LET GO, RECKLESS AND PASSIONATE.

WHAT IS THIS FANTASTIC FULFILLMENT YOU'RE HANKERING AFTER?

IS IT JUST OTHER MEN? HMM?

IF IT IS, YOU'D BETTER MARRY ANTON.

THE OTHER THING CAN ONLY END BADLY.

SO I'M TO MARRY OUT OF FEAR OF MYSELF?

Anton: WE'RE READY FOR YOU!

Henry: TIME TO CHANGE PARTNERS, MIXED DOUBLES!

I CAN JUST SEE YOU ON AN ELEPHANT,

SWINGING BETWEEN LINES OF ADORING NATIVES.

I SHALL BE GLAD TO LEAVE ENGLAND.

- IT'S ALL SO UNSPIRITUAL. - LEAVE THE HOME OF DEMOCRACY?

Henry: DEMOCRACY IS ONLY FOR THE DEGENERATE RACES.

WHY DO YOU FIND DEMOCRACY UNSPIRITUAL?

BECAUSE ONLY THE UGLY AND GREEDY PEOPLE

GET TO THE TOP OF A DEMOCRACY.

- MINE. - THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO PUSH THEMSELVES THERE.

BUT THE PEOPLE ELECT THE GOVERNMENT.

BUT WHAT ARE THE PEOPLE?

EACH OF THEM IS A MONEY INTEREST, AND WHO DO THEY CHOOSE?

THOSE WHO HAVE MONEY AND THE BRAINS FOR MONEY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ELSE THEY HAVE

BECAUSE THEY'RE RULING IN THE NAME OF MONEY.

TO ME, DEMOCRACY MEANS EQUALITY.

THE EQUALITY OF THE WAGE PACKET-- IT'S A DEMOCRACY OF DIRT.

THEN YOU SHALL HAVE TO GIVE AWAY ALL YOUR WORLDLY GOODS.

OR YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN US FILTHY ARISTOCRATS.

GRAB HER!

UP ONTO THE PEDESTAL. I'LL TAKE HER WAIST.

( laughing )

UP SHE GOES.

REVOLUTIONARIES AND ARISTOCRATS DON'T MIX.

Winifred: OH, BUT SHE IS AN ARISTOCRAT,

AN ARISTOCRAT OF THE SPIRIT.

- ( laughs ) - YES!

( crying )

DO STAY JUST AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.

JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON'T FANCY A GAME OF CROQUET AT THE HALL.

( all laughing )

BYE!

- MARRIAGE AGREES WITH THEM. - MEANING THEY AGREE WITH EACH OTHER.

- IT'S A LITTLE ODD, THOUGH. - ODD?

YES, WINIFRED. THERE'S SOMETHING UNNATURAL ABOUT HER.

- YES, SHE HAS TWO LEFT FEET. - I WAS REFERRING TO HER TENDENCIES.

OH, YES. SHE SHOULD BE IN A FREAK SHOW.

WELL, YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T EXACTLY HEALTHY.

IT'S JUST AS WELL WE'RE GOING TO INDIA.

THE INDIANS AREN'T EXACTLY HEALTHY, EITHER, BY YOUR STANDARDS.

WE'RE HOPING TO IMPROVE THE HEALTH STANDARDS.

I MEANT, YOU MIGHT FIND THEM A LITTLE FREAKISH, TOO.

URSULA, YOU MUST COME WITH ME FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

YOU'LL BE GOVERNING THE INDIANS FOR THEIR OWN GOOD

WITH YOUR OLD, DEAD JUDGMENTS.

WELL, IF THEY HAVE TO BOW DOWN TO YOU

BEING LORD AND MASTER OVER THEM, I DO NOT!

YOU'RE SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS!

AREN'T YOU RIGHTEOUS? IN YOUR OWN MIND?

YES! BUT AT LEAST I AM SOMETHING.

IT SEEMS TO ME AS IF THERE ISN'T ANYBODY THERE WHERE YOU ARE.

ARE YOU ANYBODY, REALLY? WITH YOUR OLD, DEAD THINGS!

I DIDN'T MEANT TO HURT YOU.

YES, YOU DID. YOU MEANT TO HURT ME.

THE WORDS CAME OUT WITHOUT MY KNOWING.

THEY DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING, REALLY.

YOU'RE A ROMANTIC, UP ON SOME HILL SOMEWHERE.

SO YOU'LL ALWAYS BE LOOKING DOWN, ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED.

( chuckles )

WHY MUST I CLIMB THAT HILL, ANTON?

WHY NOT STAY BELOW?

WHY FORCE ONE'S WAY UP STEP AFTER STEP

FOR THIS MOMENT OF EXHILARATION AT THE TOP

ONLY TO PLUNGE BACK INTO A DARK VALLEY?

- WHEN SHALL WE BE MARRIED? - I DON'T KNOW.

WHY DON'T YOU KNOW? DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MARRIED?

( laughing ) I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE MARRIED.

- YOU MEAN NEVER OR NOT YET? - I MEAN NEVER!

AS TO WHETHER HE'LL TAKE YOU BACK,

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT TILL HE REPLIES TO YOUR LETTER.

I WAS FULL OF APOLOGIES FOR MY PERVERSE, SELFISH BEHAVIOR.

OF COURSE, THE CHILD WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

THAT'S WHAT DECIDED ME.

I MUST GO TO HIM BECAUSE IT'S HIS CHILD,

AND BECAUSE... HE ONCE LOVED ME.

- IS THAT THE ONLY REASON? - ( mallet clacks )

CROQUET!

I THOUGHT ABOUT MY MOTHER, TOO.

IF IT WAS ENOUGH FOR HER TO HAVE HER MAN,

HER CHILDREN, AND HER SHELTER,

WHY SHOULDN'T IT BE FOR ME?

WHY DO I PUNISH THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME?

I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR THEIR LOVE.

DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THE CHILD, YOUR PARENTS?

I COULDN'T TELL THEM YET,

NOT SO SOON AFTER FAILING MY DEGREE.

AND WHAT IF ANTON SAYS NO?

THEN I'LL LIVE AT HOME WITH THE CHILD AND GO BACK TO TEACHING.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN A MIDWIFE.

WHAT IF ANTON SAYS YES, YOU GO TO INDIA,

AND YOU DISCOVER YOU'RE NOT WITH CHILD?

WHAT'LL YOU DO THEN?

YOU'LL COME STRAIGHT BACK.

( chuckles )

THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO.

A CHILD BINDS A WOMAN TO A MAN

AS SECURELY AS IF SHE WERE HANDCUFFED TO HIM.

- AREN'T YOU AND UNCLE HENRY-- - WE'RE VERY GOOD COMPANIONS.

BUT REMEMBER, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WELCOME HERE.

( gong sounds )

- TEA. - I WON'T STOP, THANK YOU.

- HENRY WILL BE BACK SOON. - NO, IT'S GETTING LATE.

I'LL GET MY THINGS.

- ( neighs ) - ( gasps )

( nickers )

( grunts )

( hooves clopping )

( whinnying )

( nickering )

( galloping )

( grunting )

( galloping continues )

( neighs )

- Man: HEY, LOOK AT THAT! SHE'S A COWARD! - ( all laughing )

( gasps )

Family: * ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM *

* MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY *

* LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

* ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM *

* MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY *

* LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

* ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT, ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT *

* GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM

* MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY *

* LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

* MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY... *

- ( screams ) - ( drapes opening )

YOUR MOTHER SAID I SHOULD LET YOU SLEEP IN, BUT...

I THOUGHT I'D BETTER SEE IF YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, DAD.

WE WONDERED WHERE YOU GOT TO.

NO BIKE OR ANYTHING.

ME AND YOUR MOTHER WERE QUITE WORRIED.

AND-- WELL, THEN WE SAW THE-- WE SAW THE TELEGRAM HAD GONE.

YES, I SAW YOU'D OPENED IT.

THE BOY ASKED IF THERE WAS ANY REPLY, LASS,

SO NATURALLY, YOUR MOTHER THOUGHT...

( chuckles )

NO MARRIAGE, NO BIKE-- NO WONDER YOU WERE WORRIED.

THE BIKE'S IN A DITCH IN THE WOODS.

IS THAT WHERE YOU EXPECTED TO FIND ME?

WELL, I CAN SEE THERE'S NOTHING MUCH WRONG WITH YOU.

YOU WERE QUITE FEVERISH WHEN WE LOOKED IN.

I CAUGHT A CHILL.

I HEARD THE PARTY.

DIDN'T WANT TO BE WET BLANKET.

OH, DON'T BE SO SILLY.

YOUR MOTHER'S TAKEN THE CHILDREN OUT.

SHE'LL BE BACK LUNCHTIME.

ANYTHING I CAN GET YOU BEFORE I GO TO WORK?

NO, THANKS, DAD.

I THINK I'LL JUST LIE IN FOR AWHILE.

- THANKS FOR THE TEA. - AYE.

I'LL GO ABOUT IT.

BYE, DAD.

DON'T WORK TOO HARD.

I'M-- I'M IN TOWN TODAY.

THOUGHT I MIGHT DROP IN YOUR OLD SCHOOL.

WHATEVER FOR?

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE--

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE--

NOW THAT I'M AN OLD MAID. GO ON.

NONSENSE. LET ME FINISH.

NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT RUSHING OFF

TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD...

OR EVEN THE OTHER SIDE OF LONDON.

I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT...

THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN, AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE, YOUR HOME.

HEY, LOOK. THERE'S A RAINBOW.

( instrumental music playing )