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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,657 [man on TV] Win a trip for 12 2 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,657 to anywhere in the free world. 3 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,911 Or win a working 4 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,911 oil well and have money 5 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,911 flowing in for years. 6 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,164 That's the grand prize 7 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,164 in Dial Soap's big contest. 8 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,501 Write a two line 9 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,501 jingle starting, 10 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,501 "I'm glad I use Dial..." 11 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,837 The last word in 12 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,837 both lines must rhyme. 13 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,841 For example, 14 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,841 "I'm glad I use Dial..." 15 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:58,762 [man] Put it across the plate. 16 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:58,762 Jesus Christ, you idiot. 17 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,264 There once was a time, 18 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,264 believe it or not, 19 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,518 when skill and a 20 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,518 reasonable amount of luck, 21 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,980 could actually 22 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,980 feed a family of 12. 23 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:11,358 Come on! Strike 'em out, 24 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:11,358 you sorry, dog-faced bastard! 25 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:11,358 Play ball! 26 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,902 Contesting, 27 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,902 if you haven't heard of it, 28 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:17,739 was a lucrative way 29 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:17,739 for overworked housewives 30 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:17,739 to use their underused wits. 31 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,116 [typing] 32 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,951 It wasn't that I was 33 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,951 any more gifted 34 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,452 than your average contester, 35 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,913 I was simply 36 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,913 more determined. 37 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:28,167 I was so prolific, in fact, 38 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:28,167 that I borrowed my 39 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:28,167 children's names 40 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,169 so that I could submit 41 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,169 more than one entry. 42 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:33,630 This was a perfectly legal 43 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:33,630 tactic in the 44 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:33,630 contesting world, 45 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:37,718 and as far as I could see, 46 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:37,718 one of the advantages 47 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:37,718 of having so many kids. 48 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,430 [baby crying] 49 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:47,310 My creative output 50 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:47,310 usually corresponded 51 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:47,310 directly to our needs. 52 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,064 -Hey, Mom. Toaster's broke. 53 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,064 -Broken. 54 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,691 All right. Hold on. 55 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,195 "Kraft's Parkay 56 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,195 won't tear fresh bread. 57 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,239 Even ice cold, 58 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,239 it will smoothly spread." 59 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,914 -Here you go, honey. 60 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,914 -Thanks, Mom. 61 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:11,459 [woman] Small household 62 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:11,459 adversities were my 63 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:11,459 steady inspiration. 64 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,671 But whenever fate handed 65 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,671 one of my kids an unfair blow, 66 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,716 it would set my muse on fire. 67 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,510 [baby cooing] 68 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,346 [children talking] 69 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,515 -Mom. 70 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,515 -What, honey? 71 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,517 The landlord's here. 72 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,104 Oh, hello, Mr. Stubbs. 73 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,104 Come on in. 74 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,274 [car horn honks] 75 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,903 [children] Dad! 76 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,903 Hey, Dad! 77 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,580 -[man] Come on, let me out. 78 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,580 -Dad, Dad! 79 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,958 -We're being evicted. 80 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,958 -Oh, yeah? 81 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:55,587 The landlord came by, says 82 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:55,587 he wants the house back. His 83 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:55,587 daughter's getting married. 84 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,672 -How long do we have? 85 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,672 -[boy] Three weeks. 86 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,509 -What are we gonna do? 87 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:01,509 -Don't you worry, sweetheart. 88 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,929 Mom will always 89 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,929 figure something out. 90 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,640 -Do you know the 91 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,640 capital of Alaska? 92 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,640 -No. 93 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,810 -Juneau... get it? [chuckles] 94 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,810 -Oh, yeah. Good one. 95 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,895 -[baby cooing] 96 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,895 -Hello, Mother. 97 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,814 Hello, Dad. 98 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,814 I suppose you heard? 99 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,233 Yep. Can't seem 100 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,233 to catch a break. 101 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,652 [baby laughs] 102 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,321 Here, I brought 103 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,321 you something. 104 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,283 -Thank you, Dad. 105 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,283 -Don't choke up 106 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,283 so much on the bat. 107 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,576 -[boy] All right, Dad. 108 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,576 -Attaboy. 109 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,062 Mom, Mom! The men are 110 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,062 here to kick us out! 111 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,732 Mom! Mom! 112 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,154 May I help you? 113 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,448 -Mrs. Ryan? 114 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,448 -Yes. 115 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,617 Is your son, Dick, here? 116 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,121 This is Dick. 117 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,121 What is this about? 118 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,622 Congratulations, son. 119 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,084 -You've just won $5,000. 120 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,084 -I did? 121 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:19,671 I'm Mr. Forrest, this is 122 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:19,671 Mr. Bravey and Mr. Kramer of 123 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:19,671 the Western Auto Supply Company. 124 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,883 Out of 65,000 entries in 125 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,883 our national bike contest, 126 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,592 you have won 127 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,592 the grand prize. 128 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,595 -Oh, my goodness. 129 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,595 -And that's not all. 130 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:32,351 You've won a brand new 131 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:32,351 Western Fire bicycle and a 132 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:32,351 Westinghouse washer and dryer. 133 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,230 -A washing machine? 134 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,230 Oh, my lord. 135 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:36,230 -[Forrest] That's right. 136 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,232 [Forrest] Mrs. Ryan, 137 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,232 are you all right? 138 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:41,693 I just have to sit down 139 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:41,693 and have myself a happy cry. 140 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,283 [children] Dad! We won! 141 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,283 Yay, we won! 142 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,620 Dad, we won $5,000! 143 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,332 -You're kidding. 144 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,332 -Isn't it marvelous? 145 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,668 -It's awesome! 146 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,668 -I told you everything 147 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:58,668 would turn out OK. 148 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,462 Congratulations, Kelly. 149 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,462 You got quite a wife there. 150 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,215 Yep, looks like 151 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,215 she got lucky. 152 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,967 Dad, Mom says she's gonna put 153 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,967 the money down on a new house. 154 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,595 -Oh, yeah? 155 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,595 -Looks like you're 156 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,595 the one who got lucky. 157 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:12,849 Oh, now, Kelly was all 158 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:12,849 set to do it, I just 159 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:12,849 beat him to the punch. 160 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,684 [man] Alrighty. 161 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,312 Just need you to 162 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,312 sign Dick's check over 163 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,106 to Defiance Home 164 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,106 Saving and Loan. 165 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,899 -Does it matter 166 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,899 which one of us...? 167 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,899 -Nope. 168 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,943 Whoever is over 21. 169 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,280 Although, you don't look 170 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,280 a day over 19, Mrs. Ryan. 171 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,324 Well, in that case, 172 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,324 I'd better sign it. 173 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,334 Here you go. 174 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,920 Okey-doke. 175 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,298 And, now the 176 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,298 mortgage papers... 177 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,758 You need both our signatures, 178 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,758 is that correct? 179 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,427 Some married couples 180 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,427 like to do that. 181 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,637 But it's really 182 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,637 not necessary. 183 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:54,266 And, after all, I'm the guy 184 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:54,266 who has to pay the mortgage, 185 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,643 seems I'm the only one 186 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,643 who needs to sign it. 187 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,271 And since the bank 188 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,271 account's under my name... 189 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,106 Sure, that's how 190 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,106 most folks do it. 191 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,608 Well, 192 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,608 that seems right to me. 193 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,736 [clears throat] Well, 194 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,736 I guess it's all on me then. 195 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,031 Unless Mother here 196 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,031 wants to start... 197 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,491 ...punching in at the shop. 198 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,534 Only if you'll do 199 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,534 the ironing, Dad. 200 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:17,456 [banker laughs] We just need 201 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:17,456 your John Hancock right there. 202 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,000 [Kelly] "Kelly... 203 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,210 ...Ryan." 204 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:26,173 Well, congratulations, 205 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:26,173 Mr. Ryan. 206 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,843 -You are a homeowner, sir. 207 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,843 -Thank you. 208 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,144 [Kelly] All right, 209 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,144 watch that curb. 210 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,271 -[shooting noises] 211 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,271 -[baby crying] 212 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:45,066 [laughing] 213 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,194 Ooh. 214 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,864 Oh, my goodness. 215 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,864 Is that what I won? 216 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,783 -Yes, ma'am. 217 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,783 -[Mrs. Ryan] 218 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,783 They're just beautiful. 219 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,369 -Watch out. 220 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,369 -Excuse me, sir. 221 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,162 [Mrs. Ryan] 222 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,162 Can you believe it? 223 00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,040 No more boiling diapers 224 00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,040 on top of the stove. 225 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,502 Yep, gonna miss it. 226 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,502 It made a nice soup. 227 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,170 Oh, the cost 228 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,170 of modern living. 229 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,047 Excuse us. We're 230 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,047 looking for Mrs. E. Ryan. 231 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,508 -There. 232 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,508 -Oh, hello. I'm up here. 233 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,468 Mrs. Ryan, this is your new 234 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,468 deep freeze home freezer. 235 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,345 [Mrs. Ryan] 236 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,345 Mikey, honey, get down. 237 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,847 "Ask any Eskimo 238 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,847 and they'll say, 239 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,891 frozen keeps the 240 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,891 freshness in every day." 241 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,895 Oh, my gosh. I forgot 242 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,895 all about that one. 243 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,895 When it rains, it pours. 244 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,188 Down, down, down. 245 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,605 Well, bring it on in. 246 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,067 [Dick] 247 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,067 How's it going, Pop? 248 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,278 Don't make your old man 249 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,278 carry this couch. 250 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,906 Come on. 251 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:39,496 [Dick] OK, on the count 252 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:39,496 of three. One, two, three. 253 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,165 Tuff, keep that cat 254 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:42,165 out of the house. 255 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,464 -What are you doing, huh? 256 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,464 -[baby cooing] 257 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,466 Here. 258 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,801 A little bit of this, heh? 259 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,387 -[cooing] 260 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,387 -Good? 261 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,932 -[music plays on radio] 262 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,932 -[birds singing] 263 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,393 -[baby babbles] 264 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,393 -Dad, 265 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,896 isn't this the biggest freezer 266 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,896 you ever seen in your life? 267 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,689 It's like the ones 268 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,689 in the restaurants. 269 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,901 The delivery man told me it 270 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,901 would hold two sides of beef. 271 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,280 Seems like 272 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,280 overkill to me. 273 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,657 Besides, it's dangerous. 274 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,657 A kid could fall in there 275 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,657 and suffocate. 276 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,620 -No, we won't, Dad. 277 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,620 -I don't want to have 278 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,620 to say I told you so. 279 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,081 -I'd like to keep it. 280 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,081 -What the heck for? 281 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,833 Do know how much electricity 282 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,833 this thing will eat? 283 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,919 Well, it inspires me. 284 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,919 It's something to be filled. 285 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,463 Well, good luck with that. 286 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,340 Even Howard Hughes 287 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,340 couldn't fill that thing. 288 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,301 Looks like we got 289 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,301 plenty in it all ready. 290 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,556 -[laughing] Only dishes, but 291 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,556 there's something in there. 292 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,556 -Yeah. 293 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,016 -That'll take up some 294 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,016 of the room, at least. 295 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,016 -Mm-hmm. 296 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:45,895 -[baby crying] 297 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:45,895 -[rhythmic] Oh, oh, oh. 298 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,981 [man on radio] The Red Sox, 299 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,981 three, Cleveland, two. 300 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,358 [Kelly] Oh! For God's sakes! 301 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,236 Bunch of bums, 302 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,236 is what you are. 303 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,948 -Bunch of bums. 304 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,948 -[radio] 305 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,948 The bases are loaded. 306 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,993 Writing a winning entry 307 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,993 not only requires 308 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,993 a modicum of wit, 309 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,704 it also requires 310 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,704 careful product focus. 311 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,750 Notice that I have 312 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,750 not one, but two 313 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,750 brand names I need to use. 314 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,961 You want to know 315 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,961 where this is headed? 316 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,547 Niagara Falls, 317 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,547 straight down. 318 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,966 Here's what I have so far. 319 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,051 "Wide selections, 320 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,051 priced to please her. 321 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,054 Scads of Seabrook's 322 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,054 in their freezer. 323 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,307 Warmth that scorns 324 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,307 the impersonal trend. 325 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,810 Stamps Big Chief 326 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,810 is the housewife's friend." 327 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,938 Mom, I left my spelling 328 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,938 book in the kitchen. 329 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,773 [Kelly muttering] 330 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,360 All right, honey. 331 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,613 -[radio] Strike two. 332 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,613 -God damn it. 333 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,074 -Where is it? 334 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,074 -[Kelly] What's the 335 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,074 matter with you? 336 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,036 -Who's ahead? 337 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,036 -The Red Sox. 338 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,746 All right. 339 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,542 Come on, you moron. 340 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,542 Hit the ball! 341 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:52,587 [radio] ...gets the sign... 342 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:52,587 on third... 343 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,255 ...here's the pitch... 344 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,383 Called strike three. 345 00:11:56,424 --> 00:12:00,178 God damn it to 346 00:11:56,424 --> 00:12:00,178 holy fucking hell! 347 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:04,182 You're killing us, 348 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:04,182 you stupid bastard! 349 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,186 -[man] Hey, shut up 350 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,186 over there! 351 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:08,186 -You shut up! 352 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,647 [man] This is a 353 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,647 family neighborhood. 354 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,647 Clean up your mouth. 355 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,983 [Kelly] I'll clean you up! 356 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,983 Who are, the pope? 357 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,028 [man] Oh, for crying out loud. 358 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,028 I can't believe we got... 359 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,948 God damn piece of shit! 360 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,911 Where you trying to 361 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,911 go with that, Kelly? 362 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,622 This goddamn thing is too big 363 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,622 for this goddamn house! 364 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,875 You're gonna hurt your back. 365 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,875 Why don't you wait 366 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,875 until morning? 367 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,212 I want this goddamn thing 368 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,212 out of the house right now! 369 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,215 I want it out! 370 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,215 I want it out! 371 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,052 -And whoever brought it in... 372 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,052 -All right, 373 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,052 I'll see what I can do. 374 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,474 [Kelly screaming] 375 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,613 -[radio] So enjoy... 376 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,613 -[Kelly panting] 377 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,407 The clean, tangy 378 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,407 taste of Dr. Pepper. 379 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,993 -[Dick] Nice try. 380 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,993 -Sorry, Mrs. Bidlack 381 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,747 Watch it. 382 00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:13,209 -[police radio indistinct] 383 00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:13,209 -Maybe we should talk 384 00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:13,209 on the radio. 385 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:20,133 [baby crying] 386 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,180 [Kelly] Indians. 387 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,180 I can't believe the Indians... 388 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:30,226 -[officer 1] Problem is 389 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:30,226 they got no clean-up batter. 390 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:30,226 -[officer 2] Clean up what? 391 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,647 Half the team's in a slump. 392 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,647 Best move to make is 393 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,647 get rid of that manager. 394 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,316 You can't blame the manager, 395 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,316 pitching, I'm telling you... 396 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,778 -[Kelly] What a world. 397 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,778 -[officer 1] Yeah. 398 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,778 There's always... 399 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,572 -We're gonna take off now. 400 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,572 -OK, take it easy. 401 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,367 Hey, thanks, Tim, 402 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,367 appreciate it. 403 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,622 He won't give you 404 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,622 any more trouble. 405 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,040 Best thing to do 406 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,040 is let him sleep it off. 407 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,172 [officer 2] Hey, Dick, 408 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,172 how's the pitching arm? 409 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,840 -Playing for a 410 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,840 no-hitter next season? 411 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,840 -You bet. 412 00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,343 Go get 'em, kiddo. 413 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,936 Here you go, Mother. 414 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,936 I made this for you. 415 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,690 Thank you, Dad. 416 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,734 [sighs] I'm tired. 417 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,530 -Pajamas are on the bed. 418 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,530 -Thank you. 419 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,956 [Dick] Mom? 420 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,167 Father McCague's here. 421 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,089 [McCague] I don't think 422 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,089 that you need to worry. 423 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,092 I'm sure that he's 424 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,092 learned his lesson. 425 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,179 This has been going on 426 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,179 for a very long time. 427 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:52,266 Every night he drinks a six 428 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:52,266 pack and a pint of whiskey. 429 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,811 By the end of the week, 430 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,811 there's nothing left 431 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,811 of his paycheck. 432 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,646 It's all gone to 433 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,646 the liquor store. 434 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,148 Kelly has a big family 435 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,148 to take care of. 436 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:03,277 I'm sure he's carrying around 437 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:03,277 the weight of the world. 438 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,783 But, the more he drinks, 439 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,783 the less he is able 440 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:08,783 to pay the bills, 441 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,660 which is one of the 442 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,660 reasons he's so unhappy. 443 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,829 But it's up to you, 444 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,829 you see, 445 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,666 -to make him a good home. 446 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,666 -But I... But I do. 447 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:20,169 Well, you'll have 448 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:20,169 to try a little harder. 449 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:27,343 [sighs] No one says 450 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:27,343 that life is easy, Evelyn. 451 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,602 Thank you for 452 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,602 coming by, Father. 453 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:42,316 Yes, indeed. 454 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:42,316 Indeed. Indeed. 455 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,621 Are you being obedient 456 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,621 and saying all your prayers? 457 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,956 Yes, Father. 458 00:15:56,997 --> 00:16:00,835 Good boy. 459 00:15:56,997 --> 00:16:00,835 I'll see you in church. 460 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,676 His breath 461 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,676 smells like Dad's. 462 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,889 Well, maybe that's why Father 463 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,889 likes to use so much incense. 464 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:17,477 -[train whistling] 465 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:17,477 -All right, kids. 466 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,980 Let's go to bed. 467 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,980 I'm tired of this day. 468 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,941 I need a new one. 469 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,109 [Evelyn] If I may pause 470 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,109 in the story for a moment, 471 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,446 I'd like to briefly 472 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,446 explain my marriage. 473 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,782 As an aspiring young scribe, 474 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,782 I was a resident wit 475 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,617 for the Sherwood 476 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,617 Weekly Chronicle. 477 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,202 Queen Elizabeth, they say, 478 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,202 invented ladies stockings. 479 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,581 Since her time, they've 480 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,581 covered a multitude of shins. 481 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,750 Evelyn, 482 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,750 that's top notch. 483 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,419 [Evelyn] I had potential, 484 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,419 as they say. 485 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:47,674 I was also in 486 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:47,674 sore need of adventure. 487 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,760 And Kelly Ryan 488 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,760 was loads of fun. 489 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,553 [laughing] 490 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,766 [Kelly] 491 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,766 ♪ The blues of the world ♪ 492 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:59,978 ♪ Just singing a song ♪ 493 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:05,024 ♪ Just singing a song ♪ 494 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,777 [Evelyn] He loved music 495 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,777 as much as I loved words. 496 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:11,113 And we were just 497 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:11,113 the perfect match. 498 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,534 -[music playing] 499 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,534 -[Evelyn giggling] 500 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,461 -[siren blares] 501 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,461 -[Evelyn] Then one night, 502 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,461 Kelly's career as a crooner 503 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,297 came to a terrible end. 504 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,718 [gurgling] 505 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,514 And so, our life 506 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,514 in Defiance began... 507 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,477 ...where my husband joined 508 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,477 the ranks of ordinary men. 509 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,772 [machinery clanking] 510 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:51,404 So if he seems 511 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:51,404 unhelpful at times, 512 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,364 or selfish or mean, 513 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:57,827 please remember 514 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:57,827 that he lost his voice, 515 00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:00,663 while I kept mine. 516 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,082 [Mike] Bang, bang. 517 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:07,169 [Evelyn] Here you go, Dick. 518 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:07,169 There's a soldier on 519 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:07,169 this glass, look at that. 520 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,673 -Who's winning the battle? 521 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,673 -[Mike mumbles] 522 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,593 [girls talking] 523 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,511 Drink your milk, baby. 524 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,764 Morning, Mother. 525 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,764 Morning, kids. 526 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,640 Morning, Dad. 527 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:23,519 What do you say I fix 528 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:23,519 everyone some pancakes? 529 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:27,565 You can't. We're out of milk. 530 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:27,565 I need some money, by the way. 531 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:31,360 Uh, how about some coffee? 532 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:31,360 You guys are old enough. 533 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,487 -No, thanks. 534 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,487 -No. 535 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,994 Who the heck did this? 536 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,994 One of you kids? 537 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,704 You did, Daddy. 538 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:45,249 No, siree. 539 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:45,249 I think it was... 540 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:49,462 -...you. 541 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:49,462 -No, I did not. 542 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,881 [chuckles] Yeah. 543 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:56,343 Well, can't sell it now. 544 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:56,343 Looks like we're 545 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:56,343 stuck with it. 546 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,596 Ah, it seems 547 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,596 like we are. 548 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,431 How about I 549 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,431 take up hunting, 550 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,516 fill that thing full 551 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,516 of duck and deer? 552 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,184 No, Daddy! 553 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,646 You don't 554 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,646 like that idea, OK. 555 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,815 Well, how about 556 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,815 I just go shoot 557 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,818 some squirrels 558 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,818 and little bunny rabbits? 559 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,821 How about you don't spend 560 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,821 so much at the liquor store. 561 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,041 Tell you what. 562 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,794 Every night, 563 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,794 when I come home, 564 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,964 I'll bring something 565 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,964 from the grocery store. 566 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,049 I'm gonna fill that 567 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,049 thing to the very top, 568 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,343 even if it takes me a year. 569 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,178 What do you 570 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,178 think of that? 571 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:42,264 I think that's 572 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:42,264 a wonderful idea. 573 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,520 I gotta go to work 574 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,520 so I can bring home the bacon. 575 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,982 -And a porterhouse steak. 576 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,982 -Hey, I'm not kidding. 577 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,984 You just watch 578 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,984 your old man. 579 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,235 Kelly, I need money 580 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,235 for the milkman. 581 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,156 Uh... 582 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,247 That's not enough. 583 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,667 That's all I have. 584 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,628 OK. 585 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,922 [Kelly] Bye, kids. 586 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,592 [boy] Bye, Dad. 587 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,723 How's Dad gonna fill the 588 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,723 freezer when he can't pay 589 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,723 for the milk? 590 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,933 I have no idea, honey. 591 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,187 But at least 592 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,187 he has a goal. 593 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,105 [man on TV] 594 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,105 Now the moment is here, 595 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,774 when Queen for A Day is happy 596 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,774 to make your wish come true. 597 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,069 We're going to the famous 598 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,069 Everson-Jennings company 599 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:39,363 and order one of their sturdy, 600 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:39,363 folding wheelchairs. 601 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,656 -There's a sample. 602 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,656 -[applauds] 603 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,867 -[girl] Mommy. 604 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,867 -Yes, honey? 605 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:48,081 Davey messed his diaper 606 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:48,081 and I tried to change him. 607 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:50,708 Oh, show me. 608 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,753 [baby crying] 609 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,089 Oh, Barbie. 610 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,926 The trick is to hold 611 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,926 the baby's legs up while 612 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,926 you take the diaper off. 613 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,596 -I got it on my hands. 614 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,596 -I know you did, sweetheart. 615 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,973 OK, now, here we go. 616 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,973 Follow me. 617 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,309 All right, don't touch 618 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,309 anything. Come on, 619 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,309 Betsy, you too. 620 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,772 Let's wash your hands. 621 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,772 Yeah. Come on, come on. 622 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,774 All right, everybody. 623 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,774 Come on. 624 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,779 OK, put your hands 625 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,779 under the faucet. 626 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,406 [water running] 627 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,159 -[baby cries] 628 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,159 -[Evelyn] Oh. 629 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,871 -[man] Milk delivery! 630 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,871 -Just a minute, 631 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,871 I'll be right there. 632 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,332 -[baby crying] 633 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,332 -Come on, Mrs. Ryan. 634 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,332 I've got deliveries to make. 635 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,334 Just a minute, please. 636 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,925 -I'm leaving. 637 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,925 -No, you aren't. 638 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,721 I'm on my way. 639 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:51,018 OK, girls. Stay in the kitchen 640 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:51,018 until I can clean this up. 641 00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,817 You know that I got 642 00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,817 a schedule to keep. 643 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,569 I know you do, Ray. 644 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,569 What a life you lead. 645 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,198 -Three dollars. 646 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,198 -Um, I'm a little short this 647 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,198 week. Can I owe you the rest? 648 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,993 I... I already got three other 649 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,993 families on credit this week. 650 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,996 -You know I'm 651 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,996 always good for it. 652 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,996 -I'm not a bank, you know. 653 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,083 -You could start 654 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,083 charging interest. 655 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,083 -Don't get smart with me. 656 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,752 -Smart people 657 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,752 know their budget. 658 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,752 -You're right. 659 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:19,130 I am. That's why I don't have 660 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:19,130 a problem paying my bills. 661 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:21,215 Hello, Vernon. 662 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:21,215 Anything for me today? 663 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:24,551 You want something in life, 664 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:24,551 you got to pay for it, 665 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:24,551 simple as that. 666 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,470 -Here you go, Mrs. Ryan. 667 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,470 -Thank you. 668 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,721 -Hey, Ray. 669 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,721 -Mmm. 670 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,307 Oh, hold on, hold on. 671 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,144 Oh! How do you like that? 672 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,605 I won two dollars 673 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,605 in the poetry contest 674 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:36,605 for The Toledo Blade. 675 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:37,690 There you go. 676 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,110 [baby fussing] 677 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:48,408 There he goes, 678 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:48,408 there he goes. 679 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,162 Yeah. You want the money? 680 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:54,790 [Barb] I'm sorry I made 681 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:54,790 such a mess, Mommy. 682 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:58,460 Oh. Well, actually honey, 683 00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:01,130 if I had gotten 684 00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:01,130 the door any sooner, 685 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:05,009 then the milkman would 686 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:05,009 have left before 687 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:05,009 the mailman arrived, 688 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:08,012 and we wouldn't have had any 689 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:08,012 milk for our dinner tonight. 690 00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:10,139 So, there you go. 691 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,058 It was all meant to be. 692 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,774 This is what happens 693 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,774 to one's literary efforts 694 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,027 once they're placed 695 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,027 in the mailbox. 696 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,032 For the big contests, 697 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,032 they go sailing off 698 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,201 to New York City 699 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,201 to be judged. 700 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:34,121 The average count is 701 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:34,121 a million and a half entries. 702 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:39,001 A million and a half. 703 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:39,001 Imagine that! 704 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,545 Each entry is first 705 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,545 checked to make sure 706 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,048 it's accompanied 707 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,048 by proof of purchase. 708 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,093 You don't pay, 709 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,093 you don't play. 710 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,011 Next they go to 711 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,011 the junior judges. 712 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:50,763 College English majors, 713 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:50,763 mind you. 714 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:53,224 Who are instructed 715 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:53,224 to eliminate the trite, 716 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:55,268 the obvious and the inept. 717 00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:56,894 Oh, dear. 718 00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,231 And so, the final 719 00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,231 judging begins. 720 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,317 Every syllable of every word 721 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,317 is scrutinized and analyzed, 722 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,904 the merits of each debated 723 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,904 until a few of the 724 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,904 worthiest remain. 725 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:10,699 The ballots are cast, 726 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:10,699 the points are added up. 727 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:14,036 And the grand prize 728 00:24:10,741 --> 00:24:14,036 winner is declared. 729 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,089 Oh, my gosh! 730 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,089 Oh, my gosh! 731 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:29,343 -[Barb] Daddy, 732 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:29,343 Mommy won a shopping spree! 733 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:29,343 -Oh, yeah? 734 00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,553 [Tuff] They time her 735 00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,553 as she runs in the store. 736 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:35,224 [Mike] She can get whatever 737 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:35,224 she wants. She's gonna get us 738 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:35,224 a bunch of candy... 739 00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:38,852 [Barb] And fancy nuts. 740 00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:38,852 I'm gonna eat a cashew. 741 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,314 -[Kelly chuckles] 742 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,314 -Can you believe it, Dad? 743 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,898 That's terrific, Mother. 744 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,318 Now, I only get 745 00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,318 ten minutes and one cart, 746 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,737 so what I did was, 747 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,737 I walked down to the 748 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,737 market to plot my strategy. 749 00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:52,158 -Wait till you hear this. 750 00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:52,158 -The carts are a lot smaller 751 00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:52,158 than the ones at the A&P. 752 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,869 -Mom talked to the butcher. 753 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,869 -He's going to wrap up 754 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:55,869 some sides of bacon and ribs. 755 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,455 I can build up 756 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,455 the cart that way. 757 00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:59,873 Ah, ah. 758 00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:59,873 Sounds pretty clever. 759 00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:03,669 I've asked him to set aside 760 00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:03,669 a prime rib, a chateaubriand, 761 00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:03,669 what do you think? 762 00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,297 -[Dick] We each get 763 00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,297 our own filet mignon. 764 00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,297 -Absolutely. 765 00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:08,382 Tuff, honey, 766 00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:08,382 would you set the table? 767 00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:11,427 I had filet mignon once. 768 00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:11,427 It ain't that great. 769 00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:13,720 When have you 770 00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:13,720 started saying "ain't"? 771 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,598 Get off your high horse, 772 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,598 Mother. It's a perfectly 773 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,598 good word. 774 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:20,894 -Here. 775 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:20,894 -Oh, thank you. 776 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,981 This is just perfect. 777 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,981 I was going to put on 778 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,981 some fish sticks, 779 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,108 but now I can 780 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,108 make sloppy joes. 781 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:29,236 Might as well cook it up now. 782 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,781 Looks like hamburger's 783 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,781 not going to be good enough 784 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,781 for this family anymore. 785 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,909 Oh, of course it is. It just 786 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,909 won't be the only 787 00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:35,909 thing we know. 788 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,912 I've asked the kids 789 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,912 to make me a list of 790 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,912 what they want me to grab. 791 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:42,833 -What would you like, Kelly? 792 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:42,833 -Ah, don't waste any space 793 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:42,833 in that cart on me. 794 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:46,628 Oh, now stop. Think. What 795 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:46,628 have you always wanted to try? 796 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:48,630 -I don't know. 797 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:48,630 -Sure you do. 798 00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:54,261 Shrimp cocktail. 799 00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:57,848 The kind they have 800 00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:57,848 in those little jars. 801 00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:01,643 I like the way they look, 802 00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:01,643 kind of elegant. 803 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:04,438 I always wanted 804 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:04,438 one of those. 805 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,524 You shall have it. 806 00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,778 Thank you, Mother. 807 00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:19,453 Proud of the old lady. 808 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:30,005 [giggles] 809 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:34,051 [wheels squeaking] 810 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,137 -[man 1] I think you 811 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,137 should... 812 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,137 -[man 2] Oh, no, no. 813 00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:41,058 [indistinct chatter] 814 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:44,353 Are all these kids yours? 815 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,814 [boy] Hi, Mom. 816 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:50,650 Yes. If it's all right, 817 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:50,650 they were going to 818 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:50,650 call out the time 819 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,069 so I could stay on schedule. 820 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,612 Oh, I don't know. 821 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,075 Oh, heck, I don't see 822 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,075 any problem with that. 823 00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:00,869 Uh... and any help 824 00:27:00,911 --> 00:27:03,330 you happen to give Mrs. Ryan 825 00:27:00,911 --> 00:27:03,330 in filling her cart, 826 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:05,165 won't be seen by me. 827 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:09,253 So then, Mrs. Ryan, 828 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:09,253 are you... are you ready? 829 00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,712 [Kelly] Hold on. 830 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,552 [wheels squeaking] 831 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,722 [gurgling] 832 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:29,898 -Didn't like the 833 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:29,898 way that sounded. 834 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:29,898 -Thank you, Dad. 835 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:34,069 All set? 836 00:27:35,613 --> 00:27:37,072 Go! 837 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,199 [family cheering] 838 00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:43,996 [all] Go! Faster! 839 00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:45,914 -I think we should split up. 840 00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:45,914 -OK. 841 00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:49,209 I'll take the frozen 842 00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:49,209 section, you two take 843 00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:49,209 the European food isle. 844 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,171 -What do you want, hon? 845 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,171 -Oh, caviar, expensive 846 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,171 things. 847 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,340 The good stuff, 848 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,340 not the ordinary, huh? 849 00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:57,593 Gotcha. Marge, go! 850 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:08,020 Seven minutes to go, Mom! 851 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:08,020 Seven minutes! 852 00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:26,622 [Dick] Three minutes, Mom, 853 00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:26,622 three minutes! Come on! 854 00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,179 Mom, one minute left! 855 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,767 -I got you some goose pate. 856 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,767 You ever had that? 857 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,767 -No. 858 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:49,687 Let me know 859 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:49,687 what it's like. 860 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,814 I got all the 861 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,814 after-dinner mints, 862 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,814 the Swiss chocolate, 863 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,651 these two bags of 864 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,651 English toffees and a 865 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,651 couple bags of coffee mints. 866 00:28:55,693 --> 00:28:58,195 Grab and move on, Marge, 867 00:28:55,693 --> 00:28:58,195 grab and move on. Where to? 868 00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:00,197 -Produce! 869 00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:00,197 -What are we looking for? 870 00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:02,533 Exotic things, anything grown 871 00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:02,533 in a foreign country. 872 00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:05,077 -Does Hawaii count? 873 00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:05,077 -[both] Yes. 874 00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:07,162 [Dick] Thirty seconds, Mom! 875 00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:12,501 [shouting, cheering] 876 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:21,843 Time! 877 00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:33,230 Oh, Kelly! Kelly! 878 00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:36,816 I got your shrimp cocktail. 879 00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:36,816 I got your shrimp cocktail! 880 00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:39,570 [Dick] That was... great. 881 00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:42,406 -We're gonna 882 00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:42,406 eat good tonight. 883 00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:42,406 -Yep. 884 00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:44,742 [Dick] Well done, Mom. 885 00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:48,328 Look at all this food and 886 00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:48,328 candy and sugar and sweets! 887 00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,205 And lobster! 888 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:58,130 [Evelyn] 889 00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:58,130 Let's see, what else? 890 00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:00,006 Anybody want an 891 00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:00,006 artichoke heart? 892 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,509 -What do you think? 893 00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,509 -[girl] This is really good. 894 00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:05,596 -Here, Dick, try it. 895 00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:05,596 -[Dick] Yeah, 896 00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:05,596 they're really good. 897 00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:08,474 What's this, Mom? 898 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,100 Litchi nuts, 899 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,100 they're from China. 900 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:12,519 -Oh, I see. 901 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:12,519 -[Dick] What do they 902 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:12,519 taste like? 903 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:15,355 Get the can opener 904 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:15,355 and let's try one. 905 00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:18,108 Litchi nuts, who the hell 906 00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:18,108 would want to eat that? 907 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,068 What are you looking for? 908 00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:22,988 I'm looking for hamburger. 909 00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:25,073 I have a steak 910 00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:25,073 all ready for you. 911 00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:29,035 I don't want a steak 912 00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:29,035 I want hamburger. 913 00:30:30,954 --> 00:30:32,831 Oh, look at this. 914 00:30:32,872 --> 00:30:36,042 Hearts of palm, from a 915 00:30:32,872 --> 00:30:36,042 palm tree, can you believe it? 916 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:40,297 These are capers. 917 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,424 They come from Spain. 918 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,009 Try one. 919 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:46,219 Mmm, no, thank you. 920 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,013 Oh, come on. 921 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:48,013 It's an adventure. 922 00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:50,390 But they're green 923 00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:50,390 and yicky. 924 00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:54,603 Please put all that food 925 00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:54,603 back in the freezer. 926 00:30:54,645 --> 00:30:56,605 I don't want 927 00:30:54,645 --> 00:30:56,605 everything to thaw. 928 00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:13,121 Capers, my ass. 929 00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:18,918 I think it's time 930 00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:18,918 we tried some caviar. 931 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,546 Now... 932 00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:24,216 ...caviar is one... 933 00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:27,969 ...of the finest 934 00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:27,969 delicacies... 935 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,805 ...in... 936 00:31:29,847 --> 00:31:33,183 ...the Western world. 937 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:36,102 It comes from Russia. 938 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:39,857 And we are about to become... 939 00:31:39,939 --> 00:31:43,276 ...the very first Ryans... 940 00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:45,111 ...to ever taste it. 941 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:47,113 -[Dick] What is it? 942 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:47,113 -Fish eggs. 943 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,700 Dick, Bub, Rog, 944 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,700 would you like to try it? 945 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:52,703 -No, I'll stick with coconut. 946 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:52,703 -No, thank you. 947 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,291 -Tuff? 948 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,291 -Um, no, thanks. 949 00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:00,293 [sighs] Do you know 950 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:05,048 that U.S. Army research 951 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:05,048 has shown a relationship 952 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:05,048 between intelligence 953 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:08,260 -and a willingness 954 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:08,260 to eat unfamiliar foods? 955 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:08,260 -[laughs] 956 00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,353 I just can't, Mom. 957 00:32:18,395 --> 00:32:21,273 Oh, well. 958 00:32:18,395 --> 00:32:21,273 More for me then. 959 00:32:37,163 --> 00:32:40,333 [laughing] Mmm. 960 00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,168 Oh, it's marvelous. 961 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:44,170 Mmm. 962 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:52,638 Mmm. Oh. 963 00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:55,974 [laughing] Oh, my goodness. 964 00:32:56,015 --> 00:32:58,644 Oh, my sweet goodness. 965 00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:01,980 How is your supper? 966 00:33:16,202 --> 00:33:17,579 Not very good. 967 00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,002 Your shrimp cocktail 968 00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,002 is in the fridge. 969 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:36,181 They say it's good if you 970 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:36,181 squeeze a little lemon on top. 971 00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:43,396 Thank you, Mother. 972 00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:46,525 Enjoy it, Dad. 973 00:33:46,566 --> 00:33:49,903 All right, 974 00:33:46,566 --> 00:33:49,903 what will we open next? 975 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:52,906 Anybody here like lobster? 976 00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:56,242 [laughing] We'll try 977 00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:56,242 a little of that. 978 00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:58,119 And... what else do we have? 979 00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:01,707 We have some 980 00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:01,707 button mushrooms... 981 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:04,918 Kelly, come on over here. 982 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:04,918 Sit down with us. 983 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,253 Let's see, 984 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,253 what else do we have? 985 00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:10,089 An artichoke heart, 986 00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:10,089 want an artichoke heart? 987 00:34:10,131 --> 00:34:12,425 -[Dick] Sure. 988 00:34:10,131 --> 00:34:12,425 -[Evelyn] Very good. 989 00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:15,053 Come on. 990 00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:15,053 You can share my seat. 991 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:19,016 Sit down. Oh, yeah. 992 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:19,016 Look at those little, 993 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:19,016 little pickles. 994 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,308 Look at that. 995 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:23,979 Dad, you gotta try this. 996 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:23,979 It's amazing. 997 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,982 Oh, should I open 998 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,982 the sardines? 999 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,982 Who's gonna eat those? 1000 00:34:27,024 --> 00:34:29,108 -[Dick] I won't. 1001 00:34:27,024 --> 00:34:29,108 -All right, these are mine. 1002 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:32,029 Let's see, what else 1003 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:32,029 do we have here? 1004 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:35,240 -Can I try this? 1005 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:35,240 -Oh, do try it. 1006 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:35,240 It's just delicious. 1007 00:34:35,281 --> 00:34:37,158 Put it on the 1008 00:34:35,281 --> 00:34:37,158 little cracker there. 1009 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,911 -These are good. 1010 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,911 -Aren't they good? 1011 00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:42,080 Are you sick 1012 00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:42,080 of candy yet, honey? 1013 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:44,791 -No, I will never 1014 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:44,791 be sick of candy. 1015 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:44,791 -Not now. 1016 00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,252 -[Kelly] It's good. 1017 00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,252 -Yes, I know. 1018 00:34:47,293 --> 00:34:49,755 [Mike] Is that one mine? 1019 00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:52,131 [Tuff] What about these 1020 00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:52,131 little white things? 1021 00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,468 -Thanks, sweetheart. 1022 00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,468 -This stuff isn't too 1023 00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,468 cracked. 1024 00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:59,389 -Mom, it's yesterday's paper. 1025 00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:59,389 -Oh, throw that out. 1026 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:09,274 [Evelyn] For the next 1027 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:09,274 four years I would win 1028 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:09,274 a steady stream of prizes 1029 00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:11,317 that would keep us 1030 00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:11,317 functioning, but never flush. 1031 00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:15,405 I won two ice buckets, 1032 00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:15,405 ten pairs of galoshes, 1033 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,617 one sled, which arrived 1034 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,617 just in time, I might add, 1035 00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:22,328 fifteen ice crushers, 1036 00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:22,328 a case of dog food, 1037 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:25,123 a pair of Arthur Murray 1038 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:25,123 dancing shoes, 1039 00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,959 a Brownie camera, 1040 00:35:28,085 --> 00:35:30,462 one free window installation, 1041 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:32,881 an outboard motor, 1042 00:35:32,923 --> 00:35:34,716 eight pogo sticks, 1043 00:35:34,758 --> 00:35:38,470 a palm tree, 1044 00:35:34,758 --> 00:35:38,470 which promptly died, 1045 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,722 a lifetime supply 1046 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,722 of bird seed... 1047 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:45,978 ...and a pony, 1048 00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:48,939 which we had to sell 1049 00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:48,939 to pay the electric bill. 1050 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,625 In the meantime, 1051 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,625 my eldest, Lea Anne, 1052 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,669 left home to go 1053 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,669 to nursing school. 1054 00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:12,337 "Travel handsome, 1055 00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:12,337 travel light. 1056 00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:14,631 Travel always 1057 00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:14,631 with Samsonite." 1058 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,510 And my sons, 1059 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,510 Dick and Bub, 1060 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:20,929 both got signed to play ball 1061 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:20,929 with the Detroit Tigers. 1062 00:36:20,971 --> 00:36:23,640 How do you like that? 1063 00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:27,393 [sighs] 1064 00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:31,648 So far, three of my chicks 1065 00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:31,648 have found their wings 1066 00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:34,943 and I am so very 1067 00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:34,943 proud of them. 1068 00:36:34,985 --> 00:36:37,946 That is where 1069 00:36:34,985 --> 00:36:37,946 my prayers went. 1070 00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:42,159 That's where 1071 00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:42,159 they all went. 1072 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,579 [television plays indistinct] 1073 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,748 You know why they left? 1074 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,544 We live in a hole. 1075 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:56,131 A hole without a ladder. 1076 00:36:56,173 --> 00:36:58,008 I like Beech-Nut so much, 1077 00:36:58,050 --> 00:37:00,301 I'm going to help them 1078 00:36:58,050 --> 00:37:00,301 sponsor a contest. 1079 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:04,139 With the folks out there, 1080 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:04,139 they can win all kinds 1081 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:04,139 of big prizes. 1082 00:37:04,181 --> 00:37:07,893 -Mom, do you want 1083 00:37:04,181 --> 00:37:07,893 your notebook? 1084 00:37:04,181 --> 00:37:07,893 -Yes, thank you, Tuff. 1085 00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:11,063 You want to know who 1086 00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:11,063 dug that hole? I did. 1087 00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:13,982 Holy moley. Are you 1088 00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:13,982 gonna eat that, Jerry? 1089 00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:16,068 Nope, but I'm 1090 00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:16,068 gonna sing about it. 1091 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:19,196 And the folks out there 1092 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:19,196 are gonna fill in the words. 1093 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:20,446 -[music plays] 1094 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:20,446 -Well, all right. 1095 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,532 ♪ It's my dum-dee-dum 1096 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,532 -dee-dum ♪ 1097 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,702 ♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum 1098 00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:25,702 sandwich ♪ 1099 00:37:27,079 --> 00:37:28,705 ♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum ♪ 1100 00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:32,542 ♪ Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum 1101 00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:32,542 sandwich ♪ 1102 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,377 ♪ Hole in the ground ♪ 1103 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:37,630 ♪ Don't make a 1104 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:37,630 sound sandwich ♪ 1105 00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:40,633 ♪ My stuff it in the mouth ♪ 1106 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:44,054 ♪ Chomp and swallow 1107 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:44,054 south sandwich ♪ 1108 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:46,765 -That's a good one, Mom. 1109 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:46,765 -You can have it. 1110 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:51,770 I'm jerk and a dope and 1111 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:51,770 I ain't got a hope sandwich. 1112 00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:54,522 ♪ My back the daily truck ♪ 1113 00:37:54,564 --> 00:37:57,358 ♪ To the lips 1114 00:37:54,564 --> 00:37:57,358 and suck sandwich ♪ 1115 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,028 ♪ I'm a moron and a mutt ♪ 1116 00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:03,073 ♪ And I made you 1117 00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:03,073 a nut sandwich ♪ 1118 00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:04,199 Good one, Dad. 1119 00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:06,367 ♪ I'm a chump in a slump ♪ 1120 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:09,579 ♪ And I live 1121 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:09,579 in a dump sandwich ♪ 1122 00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:12,082 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1123 00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:14,834 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1124 00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:14,834 bare sandwich ♪ 1125 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:16,836 [giggles] 1126 00:38:16,878 --> 00:38:19,839 -Are you listening to me? 1127 00:38:16,878 --> 00:38:19,839 -Yes, I'm listening. 1128 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:23,426 -You know what your 1129 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:23,426 problem is? 1130 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:23,426 -No, Dad, I don't. 1131 00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:25,971 You're too damn happy. 1132 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,931 [everyone laughs] 1133 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:39,901 Oh, Kelly, how do you 1134 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:39,901 come up with these things? 1135 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:46,532 I don't know. They just... 1136 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:46,532 come to me, I guess. 1137 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:49,535 That was really funny. 1138 00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:52,956 ♪ Do do-do do-do ♪ 1139 00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:55,333 ♪ Do-do do ♪ 1140 00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:03,133 -Hey, kids. 1141 00:38:59,420 --> 00:39:03,133 -Hi, Daddy. 1142 00:39:03,175 --> 00:39:06,511 -[Evelyn] You're home early. 1143 00:39:03,175 --> 00:39:06,511 -Ah. I don't feel so hot. 1144 00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:08,429 My head hurts. 1145 00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:10,556 Did they pay you 1146 00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:10,556 for the full day? 1147 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,600 I don't know. 1148 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,600 I didn't ask. 1149 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,394 I just felt so lousy 1150 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,394 I had to get out of there. 1151 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:17,189 -[knock at door] 1152 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:17,189 -[Ray] Milk delivery! 1153 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,150 I'm glad you're here. I need 1154 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,150 four dollars for the milk man. 1155 00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:22,485 What's he showing up 1156 00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:22,485 so late in the day for? 1157 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:25,113 I don't know. What 1158 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:25,113 difference does it make? 1159 00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,157 Well, what happened 1160 00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,157 to the money I gave you? 1161 00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:30,202 What do you think 1162 00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:30,202 happened to it? 1163 00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:30,202 I used it to pay the bills. 1164 00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,996 -[Ray] I'm leaving. 1165 00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,996 -I'll be right there. 1166 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:36,291 We're out of milk, would you 1167 00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:36,291 please give me some money? 1168 00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:43,882 I don't have any. 1169 00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:46,676 Of course you don't. 1170 00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:46,676 It's all in those bottles. 1171 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,601 I'm sorry. I'm going to 1172 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,601 have to owe you this week. 1173 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:59,314 -I'm sorry too, because I'm 1174 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:59,314 not going to leave the milk. 1175 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:59,314 -I always pay you back. 1176 00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:03,902 That's not the point, is it? 1177 00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:03,902 I'm not a rich man, but I 1178 00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:03,902 never owed anyone anything. 1179 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:07,613 -Clearly, you're a 1180 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:07,613 better person than I am. 1181 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:07,613 -We're all in the same boat. 1182 00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:09,199 But I am not going 1183 00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:09,199 to do the paddling 1184 00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:12,618 while you sit back with 1185 00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:12,618 your hand in the water. 1186 00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,662 You're absolutely right. 1187 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:17,456 But my children need milk. 1188 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:19,000 Please don't 1189 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:19,000 make them suffer 1190 00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:22,003 because I am delinquent 1191 00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:22,003 in my payments. 1192 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:24,839 Please. 1193 00:40:24,881 --> 00:40:28,760 If you don't pay me 1194 00:40:24,881 --> 00:40:28,760 next week, that's it. 1195 00:40:24,881 --> 00:40:28,760 I'm cutting you off my route. 1196 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,888 I understand. 1197 00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:33,890 Thank you. 1198 00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:40,438 That was pleasant. 1199 00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:41,940 Hey. 1200 00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:43,816 You think money 1201 00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:43,816 grows on trees? 1202 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,737 I work my ass off 1203 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,737 in that stinking 1204 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,737 sweatshop all day long. 1205 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,989 -You stay home 1206 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,989 and do whatever you want. 1207 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,989 -Do whatever I want? 1208 00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:52,242 Sit around writing in 1209 00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:52,242 your stupid notebooks. 1210 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:55,703 Those notebooks are the 1211 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:55,703 only reason this family 1212 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:55,703 isn't living on the street. 1213 00:40:55,745 --> 00:40:58,497 Hey, do you want to 1214 00:40:55,745 --> 00:40:58,497 trade places with me? 1215 00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:04,379 [kids screaming] Mommy! 1216 00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:05,671 Oh, Jesus! 1217 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,882 -[Mike] What was that? 1218 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,882 -[Tuff] What happened? 1219 00:41:07,924 --> 00:41:09,926 [Kelly] Oh, Jesus! 1220 00:41:07,924 --> 00:41:09,926 She slipped. 1221 00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:12,595 -Daddy was yelling at her. 1222 00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:12,595 -What did you do to her? 1223 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,890 It was an accident! 1224 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,890 I wouldn't hurt your mother 1225 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,890 in a million years! 1226 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:19,811 -I think somebody 1227 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:19,811 should get Mrs. Bidlack. 1228 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:19,811 -We don't need her. 1229 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:23,982 Get away from the glass. 1230 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:23,982 Would somebody please 1231 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:23,982 help me up? 1232 00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:26,567 Sweet Christ, Mother. 1233 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,778 -Would somebody help me up? 1234 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,778 -[Tuff] Betsy, stay back. 1235 00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:31,530 [both scream] 1236 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:34,742 Kelly, for goodness sakes, 1237 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:34,742 just move. Oh! 1238 00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:37,745 [grunting] 1239 00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:41,666 Hold on, Mother. 1240 00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:41,666 I'll take you to the hospital. 1241 00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:41,666 Just let me get my... 1242 00:41:41,707 --> 00:41:43,876 No, you are not! 1243 00:41:41,707 --> 00:41:43,876 You almost killed her! 1244 00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:45,462 I didn't do anything! 1245 00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:45,462 I swear to God! 1246 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,380 I think it's best 1247 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,380 if you just stay put. 1248 00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:49,548 Oh, my God! 1249 00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:49,548 My sweet God! What...? 1250 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,760 Tuff, would you get a towel 1251 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,760 so I don't make a mess 1252 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,760 in Mrs. Bidlack's car. 1253 00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,096 -[Kelly] I'll get it, Mother. 1254 00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,096 -Where's my purse? 1255 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:57,223 Would you like me 1256 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:57,223 to call the police? 1257 00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:59,392 Oh, Rita. That won't 1258 00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:59,392 be necessary, thank you. 1259 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,769 -Here, Mom. 1260 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,769 -Honey, could you 1261 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,769 hook it over my arm? 1262 00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,021 [Evelyn] Thank you. 1263 00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,897 -Here, Mother. 1264 00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,897 -Oh, for Pete's sake. 1265 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:07,150 -What am I supposed 1266 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:07,150 to do with that? 1267 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:07,150 -Here. 1268 00:42:07,192 --> 00:42:10,278 Thank you. If you wouldn't 1269 00:42:07,192 --> 00:42:10,278 mind mopping up so it doesn't 1270 00:42:07,192 --> 00:42:10,278 warp the wood, 1271 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,697 I'll go over 1272 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,697 the rest of it later. 1273 00:42:12,738 --> 00:42:14,157 Children stay put, I'm taking 1274 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,201 -your mother to the hospital. 1275 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,201 -I'm all right. 1276 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,619 -You know what the 1277 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,619 worst part of it is? 1278 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,619 -What? 1279 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:21,706 -A quart of milk got 1280 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:21,706 sucked up inside my girdle. 1281 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:21,706 -Oh, my dear. 1282 00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:26,544 -[Betsy] Please 1283 00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:26,544 don't die, Mommy. 1284 00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:26,544 -It was an accident. 1285 00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,340 [man] Everything 1286 00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,340 all right in there? 1287 00:42:39,349 --> 00:42:41,351 The question is... 1288 00:42:41,393 --> 00:42:44,145 This is a 1289 00:42:41,393 --> 00:42:44,145 presidential election year. 1290 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:48,774 If a qualified woman 1291 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:48,774 were running for president, 1292 00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:51,694 how would you feel 1293 00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:51,694 about voting for her 1294 00:42:51,736 --> 00:42:53,279 and why. 1295 00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:55,990 [woman] If the men 1296 00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:55,990 candidates were qualified, 1297 00:42:56,032 --> 00:42:58,784 I feel I would 1298 00:42:56,032 --> 00:42:58,784 vote against her. 1299 00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:02,080 My reasons being that 1300 00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:02,080 women are very high-strung 1301 00:43:02,121 --> 00:43:03,873 and emotional people. 1302 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:06,042 -They aren't knowledgeable... 1303 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:06,042 -[door opens] 1304 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,212 -[all kids] Mom! 1305 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,212 -[Rita] Here we go, 1306 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,212 special delivery. 1307 00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:13,966 -Oh, we missed you so much. 1308 00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:13,966 -Be careful of her. 1309 00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,927 Oh, I'm not that fragile. 1310 00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,720 Thank you for taking me. 1311 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:20,890 -Any time. 1312 00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:20,890 -See, it's not so bad. 1313 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:23,351 Hello, Mother. 1314 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:23,351 How's it going? 1315 00:43:23,393 --> 00:43:25,478 Well, I got lucky. 1316 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,148 Doctor said I was half an inch 1317 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,148 away from severing a ligament. 1318 00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,943 Oh, see, kids. 1319 00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,943 Your mother's as good as new. 1320 00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:33,861 I have dinner all set, 1321 00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:33,861 here's a cup of tea. 1322 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:35,863 Why don't you sit down 1323 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:35,863 and take a load off? 1324 00:43:35,905 --> 00:43:38,699 Well, first thing I'd like to 1325 00:43:35,905 --> 00:43:38,699 do is take off this 1326 00:43:35,905 --> 00:43:38,699 wet girdle, 1327 00:43:38,741 --> 00:43:41,369 if you could help me, 1328 00:43:38,741 --> 00:43:41,369 I can't use my hands just yet. 1329 00:43:41,411 --> 00:43:44,705 OK. Go on, kids, 1330 00:43:41,411 --> 00:43:44,705 supper's on the table. 1331 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:47,708 -Mom, are you OK? 1332 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:47,708 -I'm fine, sweetheart. 1333 00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:50,878 'Course she's OK. 1334 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,173 It's all right, boys. 1335 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,173 Go ahead, get 1336 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,173 something to eat. 1337 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:03,724 I think what... 1338 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:07,145 ...hurt more than anything 1339 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:07,145 was that dig you made 1340 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:07,145 about my contesting. 1341 00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:09,730 [sighs] 1342 00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:13,776 You know, I couldn't 1343 00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:13,776 be prouder of you. 1344 00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:15,612 You know that? 1345 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,406 It's just... 1346 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,406 the thing is... 1347 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:21,534 ...guys at the shop... 1348 00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:24,954 Any time you 1349 00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:24,954 win something, it's... 1350 00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:27,999 "Oh, we know 1351 00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:27,999 who the breadwinner is." 1352 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,584 -It ain't me. 1353 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,584 -Goodness sakes. 1354 00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:32,711 They're just jealous. 1355 00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:32,711 Why do you even 1356 00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:32,711 listen to them? 1357 00:44:34,797 --> 00:44:39,051 All I want in this world 1358 00:44:34,797 --> 00:44:39,051 is to make you happy. 1359 00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:44,599 I don't need you 1360 00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:44,599 to make me happy. 1361 00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:48,060 I just need you to 1362 00:44:44,641 --> 00:44:48,060 leave me alone when I am. 1363 00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:06,787 [Evelyn] Spilled milk? 1364 00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:06,787 Don't cry. 1365 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:10,458 Unless, of course, 1366 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:10,458 it's hip high. 1367 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:14,629 I don't cry over milk, 1368 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:14,629 spilled or otherwise. 1369 00:45:14,671 --> 00:45:18,132 I just wish I had spilled 1370 00:45:14,671 --> 00:45:18,132 a smaller other size. 1371 00:45:19,925 --> 00:45:22,136 Spilled milk can't be poured, 1372 00:45:22,178 --> 00:45:24,055 if it's spreadin' 1373 00:45:22,178 --> 00:45:24,055 'cross the floor. 1374 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:26,599 But no need 1375 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:26,599 for tears or sorrow. 1376 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:29,519 There's always more 1377 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:29,519 to spill tomorrow. 1378 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:42,365 [telephone rings] 1379 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:45,951 [telephone rings] 1380 00:45:48,454 --> 00:45:51,332 [humming] 1381 00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:54,085 -Hello? 1382 00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:54,085 -[man] Hello. 1383 00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:54,085 I'm calling on behalf 1384 00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:57,004 of Beech-Nut Gum "Name 1385 00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:57,004 That Sandwich" contest. 1386 00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:59,006 May I speak to 1387 00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:59,006 Mr. Bruce Ryan? 1388 00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,757 Yes, hold on 1389 00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,757 one moment, please. 1390 00:46:00,799 --> 00:46:02,051 Bruce! 1391 00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,345 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1392 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,805 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1393 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,805 bare sandwich ♪ 1394 00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:09,100 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 1395 00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:11,768 [man] You have won a 1396 00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:11,768 Triumph TR3 sports car. 1397 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:15,565 And an all expenses paid 1398 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:15,565 weekend trip to New York City. 1399 00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:17,108 For you and 1400 00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:17,108 one of your parents. 1401 00:46:17,149 --> 00:46:19,818 -Can I bring my mom? 1402 00:46:17,149 --> 00:46:19,818 -You sure can, son. 1403 00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:21,820 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1404 00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,115 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1405 00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,115 bare sandwich ♪ 1406 00:46:24,156 --> 00:46:26,284 Everyone move in a little. 1407 00:46:27,952 --> 00:46:30,121 Enjoy that car. 1408 00:46:30,162 --> 00:46:32,123 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1409 00:46:32,164 --> 00:46:34,751 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1410 00:46:32,164 --> 00:46:34,751 bare sandwich ♪ 1411 00:46:34,791 --> 00:46:37,629 -♪ Di-ya, di-ya♪ 1412 00:46:34,791 --> 00:46:37,629 -I think... 1413 00:46:37,670 --> 00:46:40,881 my church dress will do 1414 00:46:37,670 --> 00:46:40,881 for our dinner at Sardi's. 1415 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,885 But for sightseeing, 1416 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,885 I'm gonna need something 1417 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,885 a little more casual. 1418 00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:47,346 Mom, there's a man 1419 00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:47,346 on the phone about Rog. 1420 00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:50,516 My goodness. Don't tell me 1421 00:46:47,388 --> 00:46:50,516 he won something too. 1422 00:46:50,558 --> 00:46:52,685 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1423 00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:55,396 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1424 00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:55,396 bare sandwich ♪ 1425 00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:59,858 ♪ Yum-yum yum-yum ♪ 1426 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:03,404 I only took a few dollars 1427 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:03,404 from the lady's purse. 1428 00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:03,404 I put the wallet back 1429 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:05,948 so she wouldn't miss 1430 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:05,948 her driver's license 1431 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:05,948 or nothing like that. 1432 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:07,408 Stealing is stealing. 1433 00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:10,202 Don't you dare try to 1434 00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:10,202 justify it. Don't you dare! 1435 00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:12,580 Sorry, Mom. 1436 00:47:14,206 --> 00:47:16,833 Do we have to tell Dad? 1437 00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:19,504 You thieving little bastard! 1438 00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:22,965 -Get back here! 1439 00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:22,965 -Kelly! Kelly, stop! 1440 00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:22,965 Calm down. 1441 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:25,176 He's a criminal and 1442 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:25,176 I'm not going to let 1443 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:25,176 him get away with it. 1444 00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:26,385 Kelly, come on... 1445 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,220 Next time you step foot 1446 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,220 in this house, 1447 00:47:28,262 --> 00:47:30,640 I'll teach you 1448 00:47:28,262 --> 00:47:30,640 a lesson you'll never forget! 1449 00:47:30,682 --> 00:47:33,768 Mommy, please, 1450 00:47:30,682 --> 00:47:33,768 please, please 1451 00:47:33,810 --> 00:47:37,605 don't go to 1452 00:47:33,810 --> 00:47:37,605 New York City. 1453 00:47:37,647 --> 00:47:40,316 -[sighs] 1454 00:47:37,647 --> 00:47:40,316 -[♪ Dee Carstensen: 1455 00:47:37,647 --> 00:47:40,316 "Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams"] 1456 00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:41,942 ♪ Just remember ♪ 1457 00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:45,446 ♪ That sunshine ♪ 1458 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:49,158 ♪ Always follows ♪ 1459 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,619 ♪ The rain ♪ 1460 00:47:52,995 --> 00:47:55,122 [sighs] 1461 00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:57,667 I'm sorry you didn't 1462 00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:57,667 get to go to New York. 1463 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,546 Let's just get you 1464 00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,546 through this next week. 1465 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:04,965 I talked to 1466 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:04,965 a friend of mine. 1467 00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:07,176 He says the judge 1468 00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:07,176 gives guys like me a choice 1469 00:48:07,218 --> 00:48:09,053 between jail 1470 00:48:07,218 --> 00:48:09,053 and joining the Army. 1471 00:48:09,094 --> 00:48:12,390 The Army wouldn't be 1472 00:48:09,094 --> 00:48:12,390 too bad, would it? 1473 00:48:12,431 --> 00:48:15,100 No. 1474 00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:18,730 At least you'd learn 1475 00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:18,730 how to make your bed. 1476 00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:26,696 [sighs] 1477 00:48:26,738 --> 00:48:31,200 Mmm. I wonder what it would 1478 00:48:26,738 --> 00:48:31,200 be like to drive this thing. 1479 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:34,078 -You want me to teach you? 1480 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:34,078 -No. 1481 00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,247 Then I couldn't 1482 00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,247 bear to sell it. 1483 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,000 -You want me to teach you 1484 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,000 how to drive Dad's car? 1485 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,000 -Better not. 1486 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:43,045 Not enough gas in this 1487 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:43,045 world, for all the 1488 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:43,045 places I'd like to go. 1489 00:48:45,798 --> 00:48:48,925 Go inside and eat your dinner. 1490 00:48:45,798 --> 00:48:48,925 It's on the table. 1491 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:57,476 ♪ And dream 1492 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:57,476 your troubles away ♪ 1493 00:48:58,853 --> 00:49:02,732 ♪ Just dream your troubles ♪ 1494 00:49:02,774 --> 00:49:06,277 -♪ Away ♪ 1495 00:49:02,774 --> 00:49:06,277 -[sighs] 1496 00:49:10,155 --> 00:49:12,074 Hi, Mr. Quigley. 1497 00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,118 Lady friend's writin' ya. 1498 00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:16,454 I don't have 1499 00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:16,454 a lady friend. 1500 00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:18,247 Give it time, 1501 00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:18,247 give it time. 1502 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:21,125 -I'm gonna tickle you. 1503 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:21,125 -Careful, it's slippery. 1504 00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:23,711 Mom, I think 1505 00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:23,711 this is for you. 1506 00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:25,797 Oh, thank you, Bruce. 1507 00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:32,052 [Dortha] Dear Bruce, 1508 00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:34,263 I saw your name on 1509 00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:34,263 the Beech-Nut win list. 1510 00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:36,098 Well, what do you know? 1511 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:40,102 My daughter, Mary Kay, 1512 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:40,102 who's also 16, 1513 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:40,102 won second prize. 1514 00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:42,939 Gee, what clever kids 1515 00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:42,939 your mother and I have. 1516 00:49:42,979 --> 00:49:45,065 Watch it, watch it! Hey. 1517 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:48,903 I live in Payne, Ohio, 1518 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:48,903 just 85 miles away from you 1519 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:52,197 and I'm part of a group 1520 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:52,197 of contesting gals called 1521 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:52,197 The Affadaisies. 1522 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,408 This is probably 1523 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,408 not of much interest 1524 00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,869 to a strapping, 1525 00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,869 teenage boy such as yourself, 1526 00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:59,079 but perhaps your mother 1527 00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:59,079 would like to join us. 1528 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,540 -[crash] 1529 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,540 -I don't care who did it, 1530 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,540 just clean it up! 1531 00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:04,335 Well, gotta go before 1532 00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:04,335 the house comes down. 1533 00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:06,170 Hope we can hear 1534 00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:06,170 from one of you soon. 1535 00:50:06,211 --> 00:50:09,214 Sincerely, Dortha Schaefer. 1536 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:11,968 P.S. Since they don't publish 1537 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:11,968 the winning entries, 1538 00:50:12,008 --> 00:50:13,761 I'd love to know 1539 00:50:12,008 --> 00:50:13,761 what yours was. 1540 00:50:13,803 --> 00:50:16,681 Here's mine, 1541 00:50:13,803 --> 00:50:16,681 my daughter's, that is: 1542 00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,141 ♪ My stack it thick 1543 00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,141 and quick ♪ 1544 00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:21,811 ♪ Snack until 1545 00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:21,811 I'm sick sandwich ♪ 1546 00:50:21,853 --> 00:50:24,647 ♪ Ooh-ahh ooh-ahh ♪ 1547 00:50:24,689 --> 00:50:27,232 Dear Dortha, 1548 00:50:24,689 --> 00:50:27,232 I love your entry. 1549 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:30,110 You have a true gift for 1550 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:30,110 inner rhyme and alliteration. 1551 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,655 I was particularly 1552 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,655 impressed by your 1553 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,655 cross-rhyming 1554 00:50:32,697 --> 00:50:35,115 of "stack" and "snack." 1555 00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:36,951 Here's my entry, 1556 00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:36,951 for what it's worth: 1557 00:50:36,993 --> 00:50:38,744 ♪ My frisk the Frigidaire ♪ 1558 00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:41,455 ♪ Clean the cupboards 1559 00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:41,455 bare sandwich ♪ 1560 00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:44,333 ♪ Da-da da-da ♪ 1561 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:48,086 Dear Evelyn, 1562 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:48,086 those judges judged right. 1563 00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:50,172 No wonder I came in second. 1564 00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:53,384 Talk about a gift for imagery. 1565 00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:53,384 You have it, gal. 1566 00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:56,261 And you must come to my house 1567 00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:56,261 for an Affadaisies meeting. 1568 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:59,223 We've got the crème de la crème 1569 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:59,223 of contesters. 1570 00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:02,393 Gladys Tierney, 1571 00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:02,393 she is smart as a whip 1572 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:06,022 and won two cars 1573 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:06,022 in the Stay-Puft 1574 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:06,022 his and hers contest. 1575 00:51:06,062 --> 00:51:08,440 And then there's Betty Yearling 1576 00:51:06,062 --> 00:51:08,440 and Betty White. 1577 00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:10,150 Cooks extraordinaire. 1578 00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:12,444 Betty Y. is a Pillsbury 1579 00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:12,444 bake-off winner 1580 00:51:12,486 --> 00:51:14,739 with her famous 1581 00:51:12,486 --> 00:51:14,739 party pork barbeque. 1582 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:17,783 And Betty W. won first place 1583 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:17,783 in the Midwest 1584 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:17,783 kitchen cook-off 1585 00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,869 with her double delight 1586 00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,869 strawberry toll cake. 1587 00:51:19,911 --> 00:51:22,580 And Emma Hartzler, who's won 1588 00:51:22,621 --> 00:51:26,000 three fridges and matching 1589 00:51:22,621 --> 00:51:26,000 stoves and a trip to Hawaii. 1590 00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:28,210 All from her iron lung. 1591 00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:31,338 "Kleenex is so handy, 1592 00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:31,338 I use it every day. 1593 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:34,842 Cost so little, 1594 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:34,842 helps so much, 1595 00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:37,720 just blow, 1596 00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:37,720 then throw away." 1597 00:51:37,762 --> 00:51:39,263 Now, listen, 1598 00:51:37,762 --> 00:51:39,263 Evelyn Ryan. 1599 00:51:39,304 --> 00:51:41,348 You are the most notable 1600 00:51:39,304 --> 00:51:41,348 of us all 1601 00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:43,601 and you must be 1602 00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:43,601 at my house two weeks from now 1603 00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:46,771 for the first Affadaisy meeting 1604 00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:46,771 of the spring. No excuses. 1605 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:50,066 Now strap on those wings 1606 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:50,066 and fly over here. 1607 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:02,578 Do you remember that group of 1608 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:02,578 contesters I told you about? 1609 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,039 They've invited me 1610 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,039 to their meeting. 1611 00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:08,960 -Ah. Where is it? 1612 00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:08,960 -Over in Payne. 1613 00:52:09,001 --> 00:52:12,797 -Payne's a long way. 1614 00:52:09,001 --> 00:52:12,797 -It's only 85 miles. 1615 00:52:12,838 --> 00:52:15,049 Yeah, but it 1616 00:52:12,838 --> 00:52:15,049 still takes gas. 1617 00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:19,762 I gotta drive to work, 1618 00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:19,762 drive you to the 1619 00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:19,762 grocery store, 1620 00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:22,056 drive the garbage 1621 00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:22,056 to the dump... 1622 00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:25,392 How much do you think I'm left 1623 00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:25,392 with at the end of the week? 1624 00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:28,353 In fact, I had to 1625 00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:28,353 enter a football pool 1626 00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:31,398 at the gas station just to 1627 00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:31,398 win myself some extra fuel. 1628 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,986 -You're contesting? 1629 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,986 -[sighs] Yeah. 1630 00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:37,321 -Why not? 1631 00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:37,321 -You need any hints? 1632 00:52:37,362 --> 00:52:39,865 I know how to do a pool. 1633 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:44,078 Well, if you win, 1634 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:44,078 you'd have enough gas 1635 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:44,078 to drive me to Payne. 1636 00:52:45,203 --> 00:52:47,915 I can't just sit in the car 1637 00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:50,960 while you gab with a 1638 00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:50,960 bunch of jingle writers 1639 00:52:51,002 --> 00:52:53,337 and forget I'm even there. 1640 00:52:54,379 --> 00:52:57,424 My Saturdays 1641 00:52:54,379 --> 00:52:57,424 are precious to me. 1642 00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,969 Well, all right, Kelly. 1643 00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,969 I won't ask again. 1644 00:53:06,266 --> 00:53:08,019 [door shuts] 1645 00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:12,481 -[door shuts] 1646 00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:12,481 -[Kelly] That was my entry. 1647 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:16,694 No, it wasn't. It was mine. 1648 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:16,694 Mom, I won 25 gallons of gas 1649 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:16,694 today in a football pool. 1650 00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,864 -You didn't win nothing. 1651 00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,864 That was my entry. 1652 00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,864 -I used Barb's name. 1653 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,950 -Barb Ryan was 1654 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,950 the one that won. 1655 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,950 -That was my Barb Ryan. 1656 00:53:22,992 --> 00:53:25,661 -I had dibs 1657 00:53:22,992 --> 00:53:25,661 on her name first. 1658 00:53:22,992 --> 00:53:25,661 -Says who? 1659 00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,913 We made an agreement. 1660 00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,913 I got Barb, Tuff and Mike. 1661 00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:30,374 -I never said you 1662 00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:30,374 could use my name. 1663 00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:30,374 -Don't get smart. 1664 00:53:30,415 --> 00:53:33,502 -Did anybody write this down? 1665 00:53:30,415 --> 00:53:33,502 -No, it was a 1666 00:53:30,415 --> 00:53:33,502 gentlemen's agreement. 1667 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:35,004 You'll have 1668 00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:35,004 to split the gas. 1669 00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,339 He didn't even know about 1670 00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:37,339 the contest until I... 1671 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:39,967 What are you talking about? 1672 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:39,967 I was the one who told you! 1673 00:53:40,009 --> 00:53:42,469 Split the gas, Kelly. 1674 00:53:45,014 --> 00:53:48,851 Oh, for Christ's sake. 1675 00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:54,481 Bruce, I hope you 1676 00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:54,481 were telling the truth. 1677 00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:56,567 Honest to God, Mom, 1678 00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:56,567 Dad's just a sore loser. 1679 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,736 All right, then. 1680 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,736 I'd like to ask you a favor. 1681 00:53:58,777 --> 00:54:03,074 I want to go somewhere. 1682 00:53:58,777 --> 00:54:03,074 Would you drive me? 1683 00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:06,284 Sure, Mom. I'll take you 1684 00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:06,284 anywhere you want to go. 1685 00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:10,330 Thank you, Bruce. 1686 00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:10,330 Thank you. 1687 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:15,169 There's tuna fish for 1688 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:15,169 sandwiches and you'll find 1689 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:15,169 coleslaw in the fridge. 1690 00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:17,922 -Kelly, what are you doing? 1691 00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:17,922 -Just checking the radiator. 1692 00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:20,091 Come on, Dad. 1693 00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:20,091 We're ready to go. 1694 00:54:20,132 --> 00:54:22,676 And if your father 1695 00:54:20,132 --> 00:54:22,676 decides to make his chili, 1696 00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:24,386 just make sure he 1697 00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:24,386 doesn't burn the pot. 1698 00:54:24,428 --> 00:54:26,180 Right. Yeah, I got it. 1699 00:54:26,222 --> 00:54:28,557 Plenty of water, 1700 00:54:26,222 --> 00:54:28,557 oil's fine. 1701 00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:30,851 Watch the clutch, 1702 00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:30,851 it's starting to slip. 1703 00:54:30,893 --> 00:54:34,312 -I know, Pop. 1704 00:54:30,893 --> 00:54:34,312 -Get your mother back 1705 00:54:30,893 --> 00:54:34,312 in one piece, you hear? 1706 00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:36,190 [engine starts] 1707 00:54:36,232 --> 00:54:37,441 Bye. 1708 00:54:39,193 --> 00:54:41,403 -Bye, bye. 1709 00:54:39,193 --> 00:54:41,403 -Bye. 1710 00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:43,197 -Bye. 1711 00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:43,197 -Bye, Mom. 1712 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,282 -Bye, sweetie. 1713 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,282 -Have fun, Mommy. 1714 00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,202 -Thank you. 1715 00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,202 -Mommy, wait. 1716 00:54:48,244 --> 00:54:51,371 -What is it, Davey? 1717 00:54:48,244 --> 00:54:51,371 -I got a surprise for you. 1718 00:54:51,413 --> 00:54:53,624 You did? Show me. 1719 00:54:57,419 --> 00:55:01,882 Oh, honey. 1720 00:54:57,419 --> 00:55:01,882 Where did you get these? 1721 00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:05,552 They grow all over. I got 1722 00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:05,552 them from Mrs. Bidlack's yard, 1723 00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:09,056 in Mrs. Zitfeld's, 1724 00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:09,056 and Mrs. Zamone. 1725 00:55:09,098 --> 00:55:12,559 Cripes' sakes, what did 1726 00:55:09,098 --> 00:55:12,559 you go and do that for? 1727 00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:16,063 Ah, Jesus. Sorry, Mother. 1728 00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:16,063 I'm not good with that woman. 1729 00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:19,691 Uh... 1730 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:22,736 -Bruce, turn off the motor. 1731 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:22,736 -[Bruce] Oh, brother. 1732 00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,158 [woman] Oh, my God. 1733 00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,158 My sweet God. 1734 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:30,410 -Did you see what your 1735 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:30,410 boy did to my tulips? 1736 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:30,410 -I am so sorry. 1737 00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:33,789 -Why would you do 1738 00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:33,789 something like that, why? 1739 00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:33,789 -He didn't know. 1740 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:37,084 He's just a little boy. 1741 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:37,084 Tell me what I can do 1742 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:37,084 to make it better. 1743 00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:39,962 There is nothing you can do. 1744 00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:39,962 Do you know how long 1745 00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:39,962 I've waited 1746 00:55:40,004 --> 00:55:41,255 for those tulips to bud? 1747 00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:43,174 Tell me what they cost, 1748 00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:43,174 I'll reimburse you. 1749 00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:47,385 -$40 worth of bulbs. 1750 00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:47,385 -Mom, are we going or not? 1751 00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:49,888 No, honey, I'm afraid 1752 00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:49,888 the trip is off. 1753 00:55:49,930 --> 00:55:52,599 My gas is already 1754 00:55:49,930 --> 00:55:52,599 in Dad's car. How am I 1755 00:55:49,930 --> 00:55:52,599 going to get that out? 1756 00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:56,103 Tell him to use his half now 1757 00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:56,103 and you'll use 1758 00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:56,103 your half later. 1759 00:55:56,145 --> 00:55:58,022 Great. 1760 00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,815 I didn't know it was bad. 1761 00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:02,151 I thought they 1762 00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:02,151 were beautiful. 1763 00:56:02,193 --> 00:56:04,862 They are beautiful, Davey. 1764 00:56:04,903 --> 00:56:07,531 They truly are. 1765 00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:13,369 All right. 1766 00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:13,369 Let's go make amends. 1767 00:56:13,411 --> 00:56:15,580 Good boy. 1768 00:56:41,232 --> 00:56:44,776 Give it gas. 1769 00:56:47,946 --> 00:56:51,367 OK, put it in first 1770 00:56:47,946 --> 00:56:51,367 and try again. 1771 00:56:51,407 --> 00:56:52,951 [engine starts, belt squeals] 1772 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,667 -[crash] 1773 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,667 -[Kelly] Oh! 1774 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,667 What are you doing? 1775 00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:03,419 -[Tuff] Stop yelling. 1776 00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:03,419 -I'm not yelling. 1777 00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:03,419 You're not listening. 1778 00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:06,631 [Dortha] Evelyn, 1779 00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:06,631 we are all thrilled 1780 00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:06,631 and elated to hear 1781 00:57:06,673 --> 00:57:08,800 that daughter Tuff 1782 00:57:06,673 --> 00:57:08,800 has learned to drive 1783 00:57:08,842 --> 00:57:10,969 and she'll be delivering 1784 00:57:08,842 --> 00:57:10,969 you to us, at last. 1785 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:14,181 We've moved our meetings 1786 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:14,181 to Emma's house 1787 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:14,181 in Goshen, Indiana, 1788 00:57:14,223 --> 00:57:16,183 which is about 100 miles 1789 00:57:14,223 --> 00:57:16,183 from where you are. 1790 00:57:16,225 --> 00:57:18,143 Sorry, it's such a hike. 1791 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,021 But our gal is eager 1792 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,021 to show off 1793 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,021 her new summer outfit. 1794 00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:24,191 Evelyn, I await 1795 00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:24,191 your arrival... 1796 00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:27,444 ...with bated breath. 1797 00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:29,321 There's bologna for lunch. 1798 00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:31,823 If I'm not back in time 1799 00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:31,823 for dinner, heat up 1800 00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:31,823 some fish sticks, 1801 00:57:31,865 --> 00:57:33,450 and there's Jell-O 1802 00:57:31,865 --> 00:57:33,450 in the fridge. 1803 00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:35,827 -Yep. 1804 00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:35,827 -[Tuff] Mom, we should 1805 00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:35,827 probably get going. 1806 00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:38,163 All right, off we go. 1807 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,708 -Watch you don't 1808 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,708 overuse the brakes. 1809 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,708 -You all ready told me, Dad. 1810 00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,044 -No speeding. 1811 00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,044 -Dad, this car 1812 00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,044 barely goes over 40. 1813 00:57:44,086 --> 00:57:47,839 -Don't get smart. I want your 1814 00:57:44,086 --> 00:57:47,839 mother back here in one piece. 1815 00:57:44,086 --> 00:57:47,839 -That's enough. 1816 00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,967 Miss you already. 1817 00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,885 -Bye, Mommy. 1818 00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,885 -Bye, Betsy. 1819 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:55,013 -I love you. 1820 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:55,013 -[engine starts] 1821 00:57:55,055 --> 00:57:57,141 Bye, Davey. 1822 00:57:57,182 --> 00:57:59,017 -Bye, Mom. 1823 00:57:57,182 --> 00:57:59,017 -Bye, Barb. 1824 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:02,062 -You have fun. 1825 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:02,062 -Be good. 1826 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:02,062 Listen to your father. 1827 00:58:02,104 --> 00:58:07,401 -Be good. 1828 00:58:02,104 --> 00:58:07,401 -[kids] Bye, Mommy, bye. 1829 00:58:07,443 --> 00:58:10,946 Look out, Tuff. 1830 00:58:07,443 --> 00:58:10,946 Look out. 1831 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,990 Bye. 1832 00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:21,915 Well, what do you 1833 00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:21,915 want to do now, kids? Hmm. 1834 00:58:25,294 --> 00:58:29,256 Defiance, a nice 1835 00:58:25,294 --> 00:58:29,256 place to leave. 1836 00:58:29,298 --> 00:58:33,677 [both laughing] 1837 00:58:36,930 --> 00:58:40,100 Honey, you can drive 1838 00:58:36,930 --> 00:58:40,100 a little faster now. 1839 00:59:05,125 --> 00:59:06,960 Oh, my goodness. 1840 00:59:09,046 --> 00:59:12,216 We've crossed 1841 00:59:09,046 --> 00:59:12,216 the state line. 1842 00:59:12,257 --> 00:59:14,592 -Doesn't look any different. 1843 00:59:12,257 --> 00:59:14,592 -[laughs] 1844 00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:17,929 The grass is much greener 1845 00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:17,929 on this side, Tuff. 1846 00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:21,016 It is much greener. 1847 00:59:22,017 --> 00:59:23,352 [chuckles] 1848 00:59:26,438 --> 00:59:29,566 Oh, boy. 1849 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:35,406 You can relax, honey. 1850 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:35,406 You're doing just fine. 1851 00:59:38,325 --> 00:59:41,912 Gonna be hot today. The girls 1852 00:59:38,325 --> 00:59:41,912 will have to wipe me off 1853 00:59:38,325 --> 00:59:41,912 the floor when we get there. 1854 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:45,123 Yeah, 1855 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:45,123 I'm starting to broil. 1856 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:49,253 Doesn't feel 1857 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:49,253 that hot outside. 1858 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:52,130 -Do we have the heater on? 1859 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:52,130 -No. 1860 00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:54,007 Let me put the fan on. 1861 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,303 -[whirring] 1862 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,303 -Ugh, that's even worse. 1863 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,303 Turn it off. 1864 00:59:58,345 --> 01:00:01,432 [whirring continues] 1865 01:00:03,308 --> 01:00:06,478 Mom, I think the 1866 01:00:03,308 --> 01:00:06,478 car's overheated. 1867 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:11,275 -[Evelyn] Holy Scott. 1868 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:11,275 -Maybe we should pull over. 1869 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:15,279 There should be a town 1870 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:15,279 in a few miles. I'm sure 1871 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:15,279 there's a gas station there. 1872 01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:18,365 I don't think we're 1873 01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:18,365 supposed to keep driving 1874 01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:18,365 when the engine's hot. 1875 01:00:18,407 --> 01:00:21,243 I-I-I say we keep going. 1876 01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,954 Car's gonna 1877 01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,954 be just fine. 1878 01:00:23,995 --> 01:00:26,248 [clunking] 1879 01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:30,794 [car sputtering] 1880 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,345 -[Evelyn] Hello? 1881 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,345 -Ma'am. 1882 01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:47,352 -Overheated, huh? 1883 01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:47,352 -Yes. 1884 01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:52,608 Fan belt's gone. When's the 1885 01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:52,608 last time you had it replaced? 1886 01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:55,402 Oh, I don't know. 1887 01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:55,402 It's my husband's car. 1888 01:00:55,444 --> 01:00:58,071 How long will it 1889 01:00:55,444 --> 01:00:58,071 take to fix? 1890 01:00:58,113 --> 01:01:02,409 Take at least an hour 1891 01:00:58,113 --> 01:01:02,409 for the radiator to cool down 1892 01:00:58,113 --> 01:01:02,409 enough for me to open it up. 1893 01:01:02,451 --> 01:01:04,744 After that, who knows. 1894 01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:08,165 Depends on what the damage is. 1895 01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:08,165 You might as well make 1896 01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:08,165 yourself at home. 1897 01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:12,961 Alrighty. Well, come on, 1898 01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:12,961 Tuff. I'll buy you a pop. 1899 01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:19,551 I'll bet Dad knew that 1900 01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:19,551 fan belt was rotten and 1901 01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:19,551 didn't replace it on purpose. 1902 01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:21,845 Oh, honey, 1903 01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:24,473 your father's careless 1904 01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:24,473 but he's not mean. 1905 01:01:24,515 --> 01:01:27,434 I'm sure he just 1906 01:01:24,515 --> 01:01:27,434 didn't bother to check. 1907 01:01:32,272 --> 01:01:35,442 Do you ever wish 1908 01:01:32,272 --> 01:01:35,442 you'd never married him? 1909 01:01:35,484 --> 01:01:37,986 My gosh, Tuff. 1910 01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:39,904 Do you? 1911 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:54,836 -No, I don't have any 1912 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:54,836 regrets. 1913 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:54,836 -Come on, Mom. 1914 01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:57,422 You've been stuck 1915 01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:57,422 in a house for 20 years 1916 01:01:57,464 --> 01:02:00,342 cooking and cleaning and 1917 01:01:57,464 --> 01:02:00,342 taking care of a bunch 1918 01:01:57,464 --> 01:02:00,342 of crappy kids. 1919 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:03,470 -Don't use that. Especially 1920 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:03,470 in regards to yourself. 1921 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:03,470 -Sorry. 1922 01:02:03,512 --> 01:02:06,598 But you could be living in a 1923 01:02:03,512 --> 01:02:06,598 city, writing for a newspaper, 1924 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,266 having an interesting life. 1925 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,644 I do have an 1926 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,644 interesting life. 1927 01:02:10,686 --> 01:02:12,604 Your life stinks. 1928 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:14,814 Gosh, Mom, 1929 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:14,814 just look at today. 1930 01:02:14,856 --> 01:02:18,068 You finally get a chance 1931 01:02:14,856 --> 01:02:18,068 to go somewhere and the 1932 01:02:14,856 --> 01:02:18,068 lousy car breaks down. 1933 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,904 -[laughs] 1934 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,904 -It's not fair. 1935 01:02:20,945 --> 01:02:23,114 If I were you, 1936 01:02:20,945 --> 01:02:23,114 I'd be angry all the time. 1937 01:02:23,156 --> 01:02:26,159 Well, that wouldn't do me 1938 01:02:23,156 --> 01:02:26,159 any good now, would it? 1939 01:02:26,201 --> 01:02:28,953 For gosh sakes, Mom, 1940 01:02:26,201 --> 01:02:28,953 you're only human. 1941 01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,707 Oh, sweetheart. 1942 01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:34,084 [sighs] 1943 01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:37,879 Maybe I'm meant to make 1944 01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:37,879 it to the Affadaisies, 1945 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,508 and maybe I'm not. 1946 01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:45,679 But right now, 1947 01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:45,679 I'm sitting here in the shade 1948 01:02:45,721 --> 01:02:49,266 having a conversation with my 1949 01:02:45,721 --> 01:02:49,266 wonderfully feisty daughter, 1950 01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:53,853 and I intend to enjoy 1951 01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:53,853 this moment to the fullest. 1952 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:58,650 And I suggest, 1953 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:58,650 for your own well-being, 1954 01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:01,819 that you do 1955 01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:01,819 the same, hmm? 1956 01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:30,140 [ladies screaming] 1957 01:03:30,181 --> 01:03:32,392 Dortha Schaefer, 1958 01:03:30,181 --> 01:03:32,392 is that really you? 1959 01:03:32,434 --> 01:03:35,270 Oh, honey, 1960 01:03:32,434 --> 01:03:35,270 get into these arms. 1961 01:03:35,312 --> 01:03:38,231 Virginia, there is an 1962 01:03:35,312 --> 01:03:38,231 Evelyn Ryan! Oh, look at you. 1963 01:03:38,273 --> 01:03:42,110 I can't believe it, hello! 1964 01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:46,823 Welcome, 1965 01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:46,823 for housework escaping! 1966 01:03:46,864 --> 01:03:49,242 Oh, God, it's so 1967 01:03:46,864 --> 01:03:49,242 good to see you. 1968 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,828 Thank you so much for 1969 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,828 delivering your mother to us. 1970 01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:54,164 -No problem. 1971 01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:54,164 -You have no idea 1972 01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:54,164 what this means to us. 1973 01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:57,626 Now, you come in, too. That 1974 01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:57,626 was a big, long drive for you. 1975 01:03:57,668 --> 01:04:01,171 -[Tuff] Sure was. 1976 01:03:57,668 --> 01:04:01,171 -[Dortha] New driver. 1977 01:03:57,668 --> 01:04:01,171 Congratulations. 1978 01:04:01,212 --> 01:04:04,299 Emma! Look who we found 1979 01:04:01,212 --> 01:04:04,299 outside on the curb. 1980 01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:07,344 We got a stray bird 1981 01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:07,344 back in the nest, girls. 1982 01:04:07,385 --> 01:04:10,722 Evelyn Ryan, as I live... 1983 01:04:07,385 --> 01:04:10,722 and breathe. 1984 01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:14,768 Emma Hartzler, 1985 01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:14,768 you are a vision. 1986 01:04:14,810 --> 01:04:17,312 She looks like a giant corn 1987 01:04:14,810 --> 01:04:17,312 on the cob, doesn't she? 1988 01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:18,814 -[laughter] 1989 01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:18,814 -[Evelyn] I finally 1990 01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:18,814 found my soul mates 1991 01:04:20,691 --> 01:04:23,318 with the Affadaisies. 1992 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:26,446 They were the sharpest 1993 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:26,446 group of gals I'd ever met. 1994 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,616 We mostly talked shop, 1995 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,616 and critiqued each 1996 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,616 other's work. 1997 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:32,410 -Evelyn, you get on 1998 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:32,410 over here. 1999 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:32,410 -Here I come. 2000 01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:36,247 -It's clever, but with 2001 01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:36,247 Pillsbury, rhyme doesn't pay. 2002 01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:36,247 -Only if it's in verse. 2003 01:04:36,289 --> 01:04:38,958 But inner rhyme is still 2004 01:04:36,289 --> 01:04:38,958 valid, don't you think? 2005 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,670 Ooh... ooh. 2006 01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:44,297 If you spell Pillsbury 2007 01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:44,297 flour like the bud, 2008 01:04:44,339 --> 01:04:47,384 and not the baking kind, 2009 01:04:44,339 --> 01:04:47,384 then you've got a homophone 2010 01:04:47,425 --> 01:04:49,177 and don't... 2011 01:04:47,425 --> 01:04:49,177 need the rhyme. 2012 01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:50,595 Oh, love it! 2013 01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:52,472 -What's super potato salad? 2014 01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:52,472 -Pickle juice. 2015 01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:54,349 Brilliant. 2016 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:56,351 What's the consensus 2017 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:56,351 on hyphenated words 2018 01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:56,351 for 25 words or less? 2019 01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:59,646 Technically, it is one word. 2020 01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:59,646 Don't trust judges 2021 01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:59,646 to know that. 2022 01:04:59,688 --> 01:05:02,023 They count 2023 01:04:59,688 --> 01:05:02,023 a contraction as two words. 2024 01:05:02,065 --> 01:05:05,360 Oh, I'm in trouble. 2025 01:05:02,065 --> 01:05:05,360 I'll have to knock off 2026 01:05:02,065 --> 01:05:05,360 a couple of articles. 2027 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,239 Why waste space on 2028 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,239 an article, when you can 2029 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,239 put in something zesty. 2030 01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,200 "After all," "the" and 2031 01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,200 "antidisestablishmentarianism" 2032 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:15,286 are both one word, but which 2033 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:15,286 one packs the bigger punch? 2034 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:18,456 -[laughs] 2035 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:18,456 -What? 2036 01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:20,500 Anti-what? 2037 01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:24,128 Did anyone else just hear that 2038 01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:24,128 word come out of her mouth? 2039 01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:29,008 This is why she 2040 01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:29,008 wins the big prizes. 2041 01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:31,261 Can you sing that? Let's 2042 01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:31,261 just hear what it sounds like. 2043 01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:34,848 [Evelyn] We debated whether 2044 01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:34,848 our days as contesters 2045 01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:34,848 were coming to an end. 2046 01:05:34,890 --> 01:05:36,683 [Gladys] Did you see this? 2047 01:05:36,725 --> 01:05:39,895 No skill involved? 2048 01:05:36,725 --> 01:05:39,895 No skill involved! 2049 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:42,313 This is the death 2050 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:42,313 of literacy, ladies. 2051 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,900 [Betty] I don't want to hear 2052 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,900 that. It'll never happen. 2053 01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,861 [ladies chattering] 2054 01:05:47,903 --> 01:05:49,654 This is the last 2055 01:05:47,903 --> 01:05:49,654 of the big contests. 2056 01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:52,741 Everybody snapped these up. 2057 01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:52,741 I got you the last one. 2058 01:05:52,783 --> 01:05:55,326 -Oh, Dortha, you keep it. 2059 01:05:52,783 --> 01:05:55,326 -Mmm-mm. 2060 01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:59,080 Honey, you've got more kids 2061 01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:59,080 at home, now you take that. 2062 01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:01,332 OK? 2063 01:06:06,421 --> 01:06:09,340 [Tuff] So, what do you have 2064 01:06:06,421 --> 01:06:09,340 to do for this one, Mom? 2065 01:06:09,382 --> 01:06:13,428 Oh, it's a one-liner. They 2066 01:06:09,382 --> 01:06:13,428 want you to finish a limerick. 2067 01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,221 "The time of your life 2068 01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,221 you can win 2069 01:06:15,263 --> 01:06:17,223 with Dr. Pepper 2070 01:06:15,263 --> 01:06:17,223 the flavor that's in. 2071 01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:20,685 It's distinctive and bright, 2072 01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:20,685 it's lively and light... 2073 01:06:22,938 --> 01:06:25,982 There's no time 2074 01:06:22,938 --> 01:06:25,982 like now to begin." 2075 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:29,319 -Eh... 2076 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:29,319 -Oh, leave me alone. 2077 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:29,319 I'm just warming up. 2078 01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:40,455 -Evening, Rita, Nancy. 2079 01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:40,455 -Oh, it was a hot one today. 2080 01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,707 There was a wonderful 2081 01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,707 breeze over in Goshen. 2082 01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:45,543 Well, it was 2083 01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:45,543 a hot one here today. 2084 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:48,964 [woman] Five minutes 2085 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:48,964 to supper, sweetheart. 2086 01:06:49,005 --> 01:06:52,091 Oh, for Pete's sake. 2087 01:06:49,005 --> 01:06:52,091 Who locked the door? 2088 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:55,887 -Hey, you guys, let us in. 2089 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:55,887 -Honey, let's go 2090 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:55,887 around the back. 2091 01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:57,806 ♪ Row row row your boat ♪ 2092 01:06:57,848 --> 01:06:59,724 ♪ Gently down the stream ♪ 2093 01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:03,353 ♪ Throw your dad overboard 2094 01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:03,353 and listen to him scream ♪ 2095 01:07:03,394 --> 01:07:05,563 -Mom's home! 2096 01:07:03,394 --> 01:07:05,563 -Hey. 2097 01:07:05,605 --> 01:07:08,650 What are you kids 2098 01:07:05,605 --> 01:07:08,650 doing outside? 2099 01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,861 Well, we went to 2100 01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,861 the movies this afternoon. 2101 01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:13,697 When we got back, 2102 01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:13,697 Dad locked us out 2103 01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:13,697 of the house. 2104 01:07:13,738 --> 01:07:16,825 He what? 2105 01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:18,952 Kelly! 2106 01:07:18,994 --> 01:07:21,997 Kelly! 2107 01:07:18,994 --> 01:07:21,997 Open the door! 2108 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:25,500 -[bangs on door] 2109 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:25,500 -Open the door. 2110 01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:31,172 -Where the hell have 2111 01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:31,172 you been? 2112 01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:31,172 -I told you, I might be late. 2113 01:07:31,214 --> 01:07:34,133 -Not this late. 2114 01:07:31,214 --> 01:07:34,133 -You locked your kids 2115 01:07:31,214 --> 01:07:34,133 out of the house? 2116 01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:37,012 Good grief, Kelly! 2117 01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:37,012 Tuff set the table, please. 2118 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:38,972 You left at the 2119 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:38,972 crack of dawn. 2120 01:07:39,014 --> 01:07:41,098 You don't come back 2121 01:07:39,014 --> 01:07:41,098 until it's almost dark. 2122 01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:43,059 What the hell were 2123 01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:43,059 you doing all this time? 2124 01:07:43,100 --> 01:07:45,269 I was gone for ten hours. 2125 01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:48,815 If you can't take care of your 2126 01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:48,815 kids for less than half a day, 2127 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:50,567 then you might 2128 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:50,567 as well leave this house. 2129 01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:52,652 You can goddamn 2130 01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:52,652 be the one to leave. 2131 01:07:52,694 --> 01:07:54,905 Get off of my mother! 2132 01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:58,909 [everyone screaming] 2133 01:08:01,995 --> 01:08:05,289 [groaning] 2134 01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:08,084 [Evelyn] "For picnic 2135 01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:08,084 or party, Jell-O's a boon. 2136 01:08:08,125 --> 01:08:10,879 Made by nine, 2137 01:08:08,125 --> 01:08:10,879 all set by noon. 2138 01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:13,423 The taste 2139 01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:13,423 and shimmer-shake appeal, 2140 01:08:13,464 --> 01:08:16,927 Jell-O jollies any meal." 2141 01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:21,264 [snickering] 2142 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:32,316 Christ, Mother. 2143 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:32,316 You've killed me. 2144 01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:34,360 Death by Jell-O 2145 01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:34,360 is highly unlikely. 2146 01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:39,449 And I want you to know, 2147 01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:39,449 I am not cleaning up 2148 01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:39,449 this mess. 2149 01:08:39,490 --> 01:08:41,158 Tuff, could you 2150 01:08:39,490 --> 01:08:41,158 get me some towels? 2151 01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,954 Not on your life. 2152 01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,954 She's not cleaning 2153 01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,954 up after you. 2154 01:08:43,995 --> 01:08:46,706 Now kids, go ahead and 2155 01:08:43,995 --> 01:08:46,706 watch TV while I make dinner. 2156 01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:50,126 -[kids laughing] 2157 01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:50,126 -Go on. 2158 01:08:54,923 --> 01:08:58,259 By the way, the fan belt 2159 01:08:54,923 --> 01:08:58,259 fell off the car 2160 01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:01,846 and that is why 2161 01:08:58,301 --> 01:09:01,846 we are so late. 2162 01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:04,057 Yeah, I was waiting 2163 01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:04,057 for that to happen. 2164 01:09:06,935 --> 01:09:09,353 What's this? 2165 01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:12,482 Steak. 2166 01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:12,482 I went shopping today. 2167 01:09:12,523 --> 01:09:14,525 I wanted to make a 2168 01:09:12,523 --> 01:09:14,525 nice dinner for the kids. 2169 01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:15,944 Why didn't you feed them? 2170 01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:19,114 I was crying and 2171 01:09:15,986 --> 01:09:19,114 didn't want them to see me. 2172 01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,116 Why on Earth 2173 01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,116 were you crying? 2174 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:25,161 I thought you decided to 2175 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:25,161 go away and never come back. 2176 01:09:25,202 --> 01:09:27,455 [sighs] For goodness sakes. 2177 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,333 You know I'd never 2178 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,333 leave the kids with you. 2179 01:09:37,381 --> 01:09:39,926 I got you something too. 2180 01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:42,762 It was supposed 2181 01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:42,762 to be a surprise. 2182 01:09:42,804 --> 01:09:45,556 It's in there. 2183 01:09:45,598 --> 01:09:47,892 Here you go, Mother. 2184 01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:50,770 I found it at a 2185 01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:50,770 secondhand store. 2186 01:09:50,812 --> 01:09:53,731 I paid a guy at 2187 01:09:50,812 --> 01:09:53,731 the shop to fix it up. 2188 01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:57,401 Oh, well, it is the 2189 01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:57,401 most beautiful thing 2190 01:09:53,773 --> 01:09:57,401 I have ever seen. 2191 01:09:57,443 --> 01:10:00,071 I thought it was about time 2192 01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:02,615 you had a proper desk. 2193 01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:04,701 How did you 2194 01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:04,701 pay for it? 2195 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:08,788 Oh, don't you 2196 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:08,788 worry about that. 2197 01:10:09,998 --> 01:10:12,333 Thank you, Kelly. 2198 01:10:12,375 --> 01:10:14,502 I... 2199 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:17,047 I love you. 2200 01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:24,804 [breathes deeply] 2201 01:10:24,846 --> 01:10:27,390 [ringing] 2202 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,980 -Hello? 2203 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,980 -[man] Hello, Mrs. Ryan? 2204 01:10:34,022 --> 01:10:38,109 It's Cutter Murphy, 2205 01:10:34,022 --> 01:10:38,109 down here at Defiance 2206 01:10:34,022 --> 01:10:38,109 Home Saving and Loan. 2207 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,778 Just, um, a friendly reminder 2208 01:10:40,820 --> 01:10:44,741 to, uh, let you know that 2209 01:10:40,820 --> 01:10:44,741 the second mortgage is 2210 01:10:40,820 --> 01:10:44,741 coming due on your house. 2211 01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:48,494 Mr. Murphy, we've never 2212 01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:48,494 taken out a second mortgage. 2213 01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:49,954 Oh, uh, yes you did. 2214 01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:52,790 Yes, uh, Mr. Ryan came 2215 01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:52,790 down here three years ago 2216 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:55,292 and signed the papers. 2217 01:10:55,334 --> 01:10:57,087 How much do we owe? 2218 01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,463 Um... $4,000 2219 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:04,052 due in, um... 2220 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:04,052 due in 30 days. 2221 01:11:04,094 --> 01:11:05,678 See ya, fellas. 2222 01:11:19,109 --> 01:11:22,653 Hello, Mother. What 2223 01:11:19,109 --> 01:11:22,653 are you doing out here? 2224 01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:25,740 When were you gonna tell me 2225 01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:25,740 about the second mortgage? 2226 01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:33,039 It's due, huh? 2227 01:11:33,081 --> 01:11:37,585 I had a feeling that 2228 01:11:33,081 --> 01:11:37,585 day might be coming up. 2229 01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:39,587 Is there anything left? 2230 01:11:39,629 --> 01:11:42,090 I was gonna pay it back 2231 01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:45,509 without anyone ever 2232 01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:45,509 knowing about it. 2233 01:11:48,972 --> 01:11:51,557 Is there anything left, Kelly? 2234 01:11:53,184 --> 01:11:56,020 No... no, no. 2235 01:11:56,062 --> 01:11:58,982 It's all... gone. 2236 01:12:06,239 --> 01:12:09,951 They're gonna 2237 01:12:06,239 --> 01:12:09,951 repossess the house. 2238 01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,167 Do the kids know? 2239 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,128 I told them as soon 2240 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,128 as I got the call. 2241 01:12:20,170 --> 01:12:24,632 I didn't want them to 2242 01:12:20,170 --> 01:12:24,632 hear it from anybody else. 2243 01:12:26,550 --> 01:12:28,261 Are they angry with me? 2244 01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:31,722 Right now, 2245 01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:31,722 they're just scared. 2246 01:12:33,141 --> 01:12:36,769 Guess we could always 2247 01:12:33,141 --> 01:12:36,769 rent another place. 2248 01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:41,107 At least we wouldn't have to 2249 01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:41,107 worry about repairs anymore. 2250 01:12:41,149 --> 01:12:43,109 This is my house, Kelly. 2251 01:12:43,151 --> 01:12:46,779 My house. 2252 01:12:51,742 --> 01:12:55,121 I just... 2253 01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:57,165 ...felt like a drowning man. 2254 01:12:57,207 --> 01:13:01,085 Never being able 2255 01:12:57,207 --> 01:13:01,085 to catch up... 2256 01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:03,046 I just wanted, for once, 2257 01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:06,966 to have a few extra 2258 01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:06,966 dollars in my pocket. 2259 01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:14,640 Well, that's water under 2260 01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:14,640 the bridge now, isn't it? 2261 01:13:15,599 --> 01:13:16,851 Where you going? 2262 01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:19,312 I have to make dinner. 2263 01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:23,274 Do you hate me, Mother? 2264 01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:27,820 I'm still in shock. 2265 01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:27,820 I'll have to let you know. 2266 01:13:39,374 --> 01:13:42,126 We need to talk 2267 01:13:39,374 --> 01:13:42,126 about what will happen 2268 01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:44,087 if we need 2269 01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:44,087 to leave this house. 2270 01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:46,630 We may not be able 2271 01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:46,630 to stay together. 2272 01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:48,174 What do you mean? 2273 01:13:48,216 --> 01:13:51,510 Aunt Lucy said she 2274 01:13:48,216 --> 01:13:51,510 could take Betsy and Dave. 2275 01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:54,471 You kids like 2276 01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:54,471 the farm, don't ya? 2277 01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:57,308 No, we don't. 2278 01:13:57,350 --> 01:14:00,770 Aw, what about that 2279 01:13:57,350 --> 01:14:00,770 old horse of theirs? 2280 01:13:57,350 --> 01:14:00,770 You love that horse. 2281 01:14:00,811 --> 01:14:03,398 I really don't. 2282 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,276 -Where am I gonna go? 2283 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,276 -Mrs. Bidlack 2284 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,276 has an extra room. 2285 01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,652 There is no way in heck 2286 01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,652 I am staying with her. 2287 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,781 You'll be right next door. 2288 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,781 It'll be like living here. 2289 01:14:11,822 --> 01:14:14,617 No it won't. There'll 2290 01:14:11,822 --> 01:14:14,617 be another family here. 2291 01:14:14,658 --> 01:14:17,120 There will be someone 2292 01:14:14,658 --> 01:14:17,120 sleeping in my room! 2293 01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:29,966 -How's that steak, kids? 2294 01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:29,966 -Don't be rude, 2295 01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:29,966 answer your father. 2296 01:14:30,007 --> 01:14:31,968 [sniffling] 2297 01:14:35,263 --> 01:14:37,223 It's good, Daddy. 2298 01:14:37,265 --> 01:14:40,351 Well, last one, eat up. 2299 01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:03,874 [muffled voices] 2300 01:15:14,551 --> 01:15:16,553 [voices stop] 2301 01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:22,226 What are you kids doing? 2302 01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:26,314 We're praying that you 2303 01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:26,314 win something very big. 2304 01:15:26,356 --> 01:15:29,233 [sighs] All right. 2305 01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:33,696 Don't let me disturb you. 2306 01:15:38,909 --> 01:15:40,953 [all praying] 2307 01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:45,291 [Ray] Times are 2308 01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:45,291 hard again, huh? 2309 01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,002 Yes. Yes, they are. 2310 01:15:48,044 --> 01:15:50,671 I'll tell you what. 2311 01:15:48,044 --> 01:15:50,671 Um... 2312 01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:54,842 I'll leave you the milk, 2313 01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:54,842 you don't have to pay me 2314 01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:54,842 until next week. 2315 01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:58,012 Thank you, Ray. 2316 01:15:58,054 --> 01:15:59,680 -Thank you, so much. 2317 01:15:58,054 --> 01:15:59,680 -[phone rings] 2318 01:15:59,722 --> 01:16:02,599 I got a bag of laundry 2319 01:15:59,722 --> 01:16:02,599 in the truck, 2320 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,895 it's just a couple of shirts, 2321 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,895 you know, if you do 2322 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,895 a good job, 2323 01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:08,189 I could even recommend you 2324 01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:08,189 to my customers. 2325 01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:13,236 -[phone ringing] 2326 01:16:08,231 --> 01:16:13,236 -I don't take in laundry. 2327 01:16:13,277 --> 01:16:14,987 Could somebody 2328 01:16:13,277 --> 01:16:14,987 please get that? 2329 01:16:15,029 --> 01:16:17,948 Hey, I'm just trying 2330 01:16:15,029 --> 01:16:17,948 to do you a favor, OK? 2331 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,868 -Don't get uppity. 2332 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,868 -I have enough for 2333 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,868 two bottles of milk, 2334 01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,703 and that will 2335 01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,703 have to suffice. 2336 01:16:22,745 --> 01:16:25,622 [whispers] Mommy, it's 2337 01:16:22,745 --> 01:16:25,622 the detective from Toledo. 2338 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:28,834 A detective? That's it. 2339 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:28,834 There's nothing more 2340 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:28,834 I can do for you. 2341 01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:32,088 Barb, count out the money 2342 01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:32,088 for the milkman, please. 2343 01:16:35,466 --> 01:16:37,552 More. 2344 01:16:38,261 --> 01:16:39,845 Hello? 2345 01:16:39,887 --> 01:16:42,723 -[man] Mrs. Evelyn Ryan? 2346 01:16:39,887 --> 01:16:42,723 -Yes, this is she. 2347 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:46,602 I'm interviewing finalists 2348 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:46,602 for the Dr. Pepper 2349 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:46,602 "Time of Your Life" contest, 2350 01:16:46,643 --> 01:16:49,021 -Yes, of course. 2351 01:16:46,643 --> 01:16:49,021 -Will you be in 2352 01:16:46,643 --> 01:16:49,021 this afternoon? 2353 01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:50,356 [stammers] Yes, certainly. 2354 01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:52,733 -3:00? 2355 01:16:50,398 --> 01:16:52,733 -Oh, that'll be fine. 2356 01:16:52,775 --> 01:16:56,237 -We'll be here all day. 2357 01:16:52,775 --> 01:16:56,237 Do you have our address? 2358 01:16:52,775 --> 01:16:56,237 -Yes, I do. That's my job. 2359 01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:57,738 All right. 2360 01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:57,738 We'll see you then. 2361 01:16:57,780 --> 01:17:00,283 -I look forward to it. 2362 01:16:57,780 --> 01:17:00,283 -Thank you. 2363 01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,243 -What? What is it? 2364 01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,243 -Kelly! 2365 01:17:02,285 --> 01:17:04,328 -What's going on? 2366 01:17:02,285 --> 01:17:04,328 -Get out here! 2367 01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:06,372 -It's way too soon 2368 01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:06,372 to be excited, 2369 01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:06,372 -[toilet flushes] 2370 01:17:06,414 --> 01:17:09,083 -but I am a possible 2371 01:17:06,414 --> 01:17:09,083 winner... 2372 01:17:06,414 --> 01:17:09,083 -What is it, Mother? 2373 01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:12,545 Kelly, a detective is on 2374 01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:12,545 his way to Defiance right now. 2375 01:17:12,587 --> 01:17:15,548 I'm in the running for the 2376 01:17:12,587 --> 01:17:15,548 "Time of Your Life" contest. 2377 01:17:15,590 --> 01:17:17,883 -Is this a big one? 2378 01:17:15,590 --> 01:17:17,883 -It's very big. 2379 01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:20,886 We need to clean 2380 01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:20,886 this place up. Betsy, 2381 01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:20,886 Davey, pick up your toys. 2382 01:17:20,928 --> 01:17:23,055 Tuff, get all that 2383 01:17:20,928 --> 01:17:23,055 stuff off the table. 2384 01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:26,517 Mike... Dad give Mike 2385 01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:26,517 some money, send him to the 2386 01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:26,517 store for some Dr. Pepper. 2387 01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:30,687 -What for? 2388 01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:30,687 -We need to show the detective 2389 01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:30,687 we're using the product. 2390 01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:34,150 This is my last dollar. 2391 01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:34,150 what if we don't win? 2392 01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:36,611 -That's a problem 2393 01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:36,611 for another day. 2394 01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:36,611 -Go, Mike. 2395 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:40,156 -Get it from the refrigerator, 2396 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:40,156 we want to serve it cold. 2397 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:40,156 -OK, Mom. 2398 01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:43,534 Tuff? Take all this stuff 2399 01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:43,534 and put it on the back porch. 2400 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:47,622 Barbie, stop crying, 2401 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:47,622 honey, and get me 2402 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:47,622 a broom for goodness sake. 2403 01:17:49,123 --> 01:17:51,834 [gasping] 2404 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,131 [man] Are you employed 2405 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,131 outside the home? 2406 01:17:57,173 --> 01:18:01,969 Oh, goodness, no. 2407 01:17:57,173 --> 01:18:01,969 I have enough to do here. 2408 01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:04,054 And your husband, 2409 01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:04,054 what does he do? 2410 01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:07,350 He's a machinist. 2411 01:18:07,391 --> 01:18:10,978 Do you own or... 2412 01:18:07,391 --> 01:18:10,978 rent your home? 2413 01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:13,648 We own it. 2414 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,692 One car 2415 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,692 or a two car family? 2416 01:18:16,733 --> 01:18:18,528 One car. A Chevy. 2417 01:18:18,569 --> 01:18:21,780 -The one parked out front? 2418 01:18:18,569 --> 01:18:21,780 -Yes. 2419 01:18:21,822 --> 01:18:24,534 You need to put some 2420 01:18:21,822 --> 01:18:24,534 more air into those tires. 2421 01:18:24,575 --> 01:18:26,494 Oh? Oh! 2422 01:18:26,536 --> 01:18:29,246 OK, final question. 2423 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:32,708 If you were stuck 2424 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:32,708 on a desert island 2425 01:18:32,749 --> 01:18:35,670 and you only had 2426 01:18:32,749 --> 01:18:35,670 one beverage to drink... 2427 01:18:37,129 --> 01:18:39,632 ...what would the beverage be? 2428 01:18:42,009 --> 01:18:43,553 Orange juice. 2429 01:18:43,594 --> 01:18:45,596 Orange juice? 2430 01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:48,391 To prevent scurvy. 2431 01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:51,686 But my beverage of choice 2432 01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:51,686 is Dr. Pepper, of course. 2433 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:54,188 [laughs] 2434 01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:57,816 -Thanks for the honesty. 2435 01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:57,816 -A pleasure, Det. Feeney. 2436 01:18:57,858 --> 01:19:00,152 That's it. When the 2437 01:18:57,858 --> 01:19:00,152 final decision's made, 2438 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:03,155 you'll be 2439 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:03,155 notified immediately. 2440 01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:08,952 -And when might that be? 2441 01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:08,952 -Oh, two weeks to a month. 2442 01:19:08,994 --> 01:19:10,829 Oh, I see. 2443 01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:15,459 -Thank you for coming by. 2444 01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:15,459 -The pleasure's all mine. 2445 01:19:17,878 --> 01:19:21,716 -[sighs] 2446 01:19:17,878 --> 01:19:21,716 -[giggles] Orange juice. 2447 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:24,385 What kind of crazy 2448 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:24,385 answer was that? 2449 01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:27,221 I think your mother 2450 01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:27,221 did a heck of a job, 2451 01:19:27,263 --> 01:19:28,972 what do you think, kids? 2452 01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,766 What if we win 2453 01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,766 and it's too late? 2454 01:19:30,807 --> 01:19:33,936 What's with the doom and 2455 01:19:30,807 --> 01:19:33,936 gloom? We're halfway there. 2456 01:19:33,977 --> 01:19:37,607 Mom, will me and Davey 2457 01:19:33,977 --> 01:19:37,607 still have to go to the farm? 2458 01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:41,611 We don't know yet, 2459 01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:41,611 honey. It's something 2460 01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:41,611 we have to prepare for. 2461 01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:44,154 Don't listen to Mom. 2462 01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:44,154 She's just being modest. 2463 01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:47,074 None of those other entries 2464 01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:47,074 are as good as hers. 2465 01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:47,074 She's a shoo-in. 2466 01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:50,620 I'm not a shoo-in. 2467 01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:50,620 There could be 20 other 2468 01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:50,620 people up for this prize. 2469 01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:53,122 Don't worry, kids. 2470 01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:53,122 Everything is going to be OK. 2471 01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:56,166 No, it isn't. 2472 01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:56,166 Even if we do win, so what? 2473 01:19:56,208 --> 01:19:57,834 We'll be just as poor 2474 01:19:56,208 --> 01:19:57,834 as we were before 2475 01:19:57,876 --> 01:19:59,920 because of all the 2476 01:19:57,876 --> 01:19:59,920 money you stole from us. 2477 01:19:59,962 --> 01:20:01,756 I didn't steal anything! 2478 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,924 I made an error 2479 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,924 in judgment. 2480 01:20:03,966 --> 01:20:05,635 Heck of an error. 2481 01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,886 You all think this 2482 01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,886 isn't tearing me apart? 2483 01:20:07,928 --> 01:20:12,266 I did it to pay the bills. 2484 01:20:07,928 --> 01:20:12,266 I wanted you kids 2485 01:20:07,928 --> 01:20:12,266 to eat steak. 2486 01:20:12,308 --> 01:20:15,645 I wanted your mother to have 2487 01:20:12,308 --> 01:20:15,645 one decent piece of furniture, 2488 01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:18,021 that didn't look like 2489 01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:18,021 it came from a thrift store. 2490 01:20:18,063 --> 01:20:19,482 I don't care! 2491 01:20:19,523 --> 01:20:22,610 -I want our house back! 2492 01:20:19,523 --> 01:20:22,610 -It isn't gone yet! 2493 01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:25,237 So, have a little faith, 2494 01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:25,237 for Christ's sake. 2495 01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:31,410 OK, Tuff, now you've 2496 01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:31,410 upset your mother. 2497 01:20:36,666 --> 01:20:39,209 You OK, Mother? 2498 01:20:49,553 --> 01:20:52,055 If you don't win this one, 2499 01:20:49,553 --> 01:20:52,055 there'll always be another... 2500 01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:55,017 No, there won't. 2501 01:20:55,058 --> 01:20:58,854 In another year, there won't 2502 01:20:55,058 --> 01:20:58,854 be any of these contests left. 2503 01:20:58,895 --> 01:21:02,817 If we lose this house, 2504 01:20:58,895 --> 01:21:02,817 that's it. 2505 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,403 I can't buy another house 2506 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,403 with a three-dollar poetry 2507 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,403 prize, now can I? 2508 01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:12,368 -You'll think of something. 2509 01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:12,368 -No. You think of something! 2510 01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:15,996 It's your turn, your turn 2511 01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:15,996 to make things right 2512 01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:15,996 because I'm out of ideas. 2513 01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:22,127 -Please don't fall apart. 2514 01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:22,127 -For God's sakes, Kelly, 2515 01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:22,127 I'm not a saint. 2516 01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:26,173 If you can't stand to 2517 01:21:22,169 --> 01:21:26,173 see me upset, then go away. 2518 01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:28,801 Let me do it in peace. 2519 01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:36,266 All right. 2520 01:21:43,190 --> 01:21:46,151 [shuts door] 2521 01:21:53,325 --> 01:21:55,369 [sobs] 2522 01:22:27,067 --> 01:22:28,944 Thanks. 2523 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:34,199 Mom, there are 2524 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:34,199 bugs in the soup. 2525 01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,702 -I have them too. 2526 01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,702 -Me too. 2527 01:22:40,247 --> 01:22:42,792 Those aren't bugs. 2528 01:22:40,247 --> 01:22:42,792 They're spices. 2529 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:45,502 -They have legs. 2530 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:45,502 -Don't be silly. 2531 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:45,502 Spices don't have legs. 2532 01:22:50,841 --> 01:22:53,009 There are no bugs 2533 01:22:50,841 --> 01:22:53,009 in the soup. 2534 01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:55,554 Listen to 2535 01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:55,554 your mother, kids. 2536 01:23:08,358 --> 01:23:10,068 [telephone rings] 2537 01:23:15,073 --> 01:23:16,992 -Hello? 2538 01:23:15,073 --> 01:23:16,992 -[man] Hello. 2539 01:23:15,073 --> 01:23:16,992 Mrs. Kelly Ryan? 2540 01:23:17,033 --> 01:23:19,829 -Yes, yes, this is she. 2541 01:23:17,033 --> 01:23:19,829 -Congratulations. 2542 01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:23,165 You have won a free 2543 01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:23,165 offer from Bright Way Rug 2544 01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:23,165 and Upholstery Cleaners. 2545 01:23:23,206 --> 01:23:26,502 We will give you our special 2546 01:23:23,206 --> 01:23:26,502 living room discount. 2547 01:23:26,543 --> 01:23:30,213 Plus, we will clean one 2548 01:23:26,543 --> 01:23:30,213 area rug, absolutely free. 2549 01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:32,967 -[Barb crying] 2550 01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:32,967 -Hello, ma'am? 2551 01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:37,262 We're not interested, 2552 01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:37,262 thank you. 2553 01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:40,349 It's all right. Shh, shh, shh. 2554 01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:40,349 it's all right. 2555 01:23:44,060 --> 01:23:46,772 It's all right. Shh. 2556 01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:56,615 Mommy, what do 2557 01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:56,615 we do with this? 2558 01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:59,702 Just put it all on the 2559 01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:59,702 front porch. Thank you, girls. 2560 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,414 Hey, Davey, 2561 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,414 go outside with that. 2562 01:24:27,771 --> 01:24:29,189 [telephone rings] 2563 01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:44,371 -Hello? 2564 01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:44,371 -[man] Hello. 2565 01:24:44,413 --> 01:24:48,042 -Is this Mrs. Evelyn L. Ryan? 2566 01:24:44,413 --> 01:24:48,042 -This is she. 2567 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:51,253 Mrs. Ryan, it's my 2568 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:51,253 pleasure to inform you 2569 01:24:51,294 --> 01:24:53,088 that you are our 2570 01:24:51,294 --> 01:24:53,088 first-prize winner 2571 01:24:53,129 --> 01:24:55,758 in the Dr. Pepper 2572 01:24:53,129 --> 01:24:55,758 "Time of Your Life" contest. 2573 01:24:55,799 --> 01:24:57,760 Oh, my word. 2574 01:24:57,801 --> 01:25:00,012 You've won a trip 2575 01:24:57,801 --> 01:25:00,012 for two to Switzerland, 2576 01:25:00,054 --> 01:25:03,265 a Ford Mustang, 2577 01:25:00,054 --> 01:25:03,265 his and hers Longines watches 2578 01:25:03,306 --> 01:25:07,394 and cash in the 2579 01:25:03,306 --> 01:25:07,394 amount of $3,440,64. 2580 01:25:07,436 --> 01:25:09,354 Goodness, well... 2581 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:12,942 ...these prizes couldn't 2582 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:12,942 come at a better time 2583 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:12,942 for my large family. 2584 01:25:12,983 --> 01:25:15,903 -Kids! 2585 01:25:12,983 --> 01:25:15,903 -[laughing] I'm glad 2586 01:25:12,983 --> 01:25:15,903 to hear that, Mrs. Ryan. 2587 01:25:15,945 --> 01:25:18,405 -Come down here. 2588 01:25:15,945 --> 01:25:18,405 -You have every 2589 01:25:15,945 --> 01:25:18,405 reason to be proud. 2590 01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:22,200 Your entry beat 2591 01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:22,200 out 250,000 others. 2592 01:25:22,242 --> 01:25:24,954 Thank you for telling me that. 2593 01:25:24,995 --> 01:25:27,748 You've brightened 2594 01:25:24,995 --> 01:25:27,748 my day considerably. 2595 01:25:27,790 --> 01:25:30,250 Thank you, Mrs. Ryan. 2596 01:25:27,790 --> 01:25:30,250 Good day. 2597 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:37,007 -We won! 2598 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:37,007 -[everyone screams] 2599 01:25:45,348 --> 01:25:47,183 Mom, can we go 2600 01:25:45,348 --> 01:25:47,183 tell the neighbors? 2601 01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:49,185 You can tell 2602 01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:49,185 whoever you want! 2603 01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:04,076 Tuffy, it's OK. 2604 01:26:04,118 --> 01:26:06,996 Everything's going to be OK. 2605 01:26:04,118 --> 01:26:06,996 We're all going to be OK. 2606 01:26:07,037 --> 01:26:10,040 No, we aren't. 2607 01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:15,295 -For cripe's sake. 2608 01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:15,295 -You go on outside, 2609 01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:15,295 I'll take care of her. 2610 01:26:16,964 --> 01:26:20,050 Come on, let's go 2611 01:26:16,964 --> 01:26:20,050 tell everybody. Come on. 2612 01:26:20,092 --> 01:26:22,177 [giggling] 2613 01:26:22,218 --> 01:26:25,931 [Bruce] We won! 2614 01:26:22,218 --> 01:26:25,931 We won the big contest! 2615 01:26:32,771 --> 01:26:35,357 He's never going to change. 2616 01:26:35,398 --> 01:26:37,860 You're absolutely right. 2617 01:26:37,901 --> 01:26:39,862 He's not. 2618 01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:46,785 [sighs] Do you know 2619 01:26:46,827 --> 01:26:49,204 what that man said to me 2620 01:26:46,827 --> 01:26:49,204 on the phone just now? 2621 01:26:49,245 --> 01:26:50,622 No. 2622 01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:55,961 He said that I beat 2623 01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:55,961 250,000 other entries. 2624 01:26:56,795 --> 01:26:59,631 And do you 2625 01:26:56,795 --> 01:26:59,631 know what else? 2626 01:26:59,673 --> 01:27:01,925 It wasn't 2627 01:26:59,673 --> 01:27:01,925 even my best one. 2628 01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,556 Honey... 2629 01:27:07,597 --> 01:27:10,559 Honey, you have your 2630 01:27:07,597 --> 01:27:10,559 whole life in front of you, 2631 01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:14,063 and you can make of it 2632 01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:14,063 whatever you want. 2633 01:27:14,104 --> 01:27:17,273 You have a marvelous mind. 2634 01:27:17,315 --> 01:27:20,819 And a beautiful heart. 2635 01:27:22,779 --> 01:27:25,782 And you can 2636 01:27:22,779 --> 01:27:25,782 accomplish anything. 2637 01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,912 Everything is possible. 2638 01:27:29,953 --> 01:27:33,289 Do you know that? 2639 01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,923 [sighs, sniffles] 2640 01:27:40,964 --> 01:27:43,008 Forgive him, Tuff. 2641 01:27:45,468 --> 01:27:48,430 Forgive him so you 2642 01:27:45,468 --> 01:27:48,430 can embrace this... 2643 01:27:48,471 --> 01:27:51,474 ...truly remarkable day. 2644 01:28:05,822 --> 01:28:08,324 I love you, Mom. 2645 01:28:11,870 --> 01:28:13,663 I love you. 2646 01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:19,044 ♪ Bye-bye blue ♪ 2647 01:28:21,504 --> 01:28:26,676 ♪ Bye-bye blue ♪ 2648 01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:32,933 ♪ Bells ring ♪ 2649 01:28:32,975 --> 01:28:35,978 ♪ Birds sing ♪ 2650 01:28:36,019 --> 01:28:40,232 ♪ Sun is shining ♪ 2651 01:28:40,274 --> 01:28:44,111 ♪ No more pining ♪ 2652 01:28:44,153 --> 01:28:45,988 [Evelyn] I never made 2653 01:28:44,153 --> 01:28:45,988 it to Switzerland. 2654 01:28:46,029 --> 01:28:50,159 Naturally, I cashed in the 2655 01:28:46,029 --> 01:28:50,159 trip to pay off the mortgage. 2656 01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:53,829 However, I did get 2657 01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:53,829 my chance to travel... 2658 01:28:53,870 --> 01:28:57,958 to Dallas, Texas where 2659 01:28:53,870 --> 01:28:57,958 Dr. Pepper made me 2660 01:28:53,870 --> 01:28:57,958 their own queen for a day. 2661 01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:01,086 -Oh. 2662 01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:01,086 -However, I was deeply 2663 01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:01,086 annoyed by the hat, 2664 01:29:01,128 --> 01:29:05,381 as my hair was flattened 2665 01:29:01,128 --> 01:29:05,381 for the rest of the day. 2666 01:29:05,423 --> 01:29:08,677 It was the first time I ate 2667 01:29:05,423 --> 01:29:08,677 a meal I didn't have to cook, 2668 01:29:08,718 --> 01:29:11,013 on a plate that I 2669 01:29:08,718 --> 01:29:11,013 didn't have to wash. 2670 01:29:12,514 --> 01:29:16,518 Or soaked in a tub that 2671 01:29:12,514 --> 01:29:16,518 I didn't have to scrub. 2672 01:29:16,559 --> 01:29:21,606 Or slept in a bed, 2673 01:29:16,559 --> 01:29:21,606 that I didn't have to make. 2674 01:29:21,648 --> 01:29:24,567 I never won another 2675 01:29:21,648 --> 01:29:24,567 major contest after that. 2676 01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:29,323 Nor did I ever travel 2677 01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:29,323 much beyond the 2678 01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:29,323 Ohio-Indiana state line. 2679 01:29:30,406 --> 01:29:33,702 [kids laughing] 2680 01:29:33,743 --> 01:29:35,453 Drive safely. 2681 01:29:35,495 --> 01:29:37,706 But I'm happy to report, 2682 01:29:35,495 --> 01:29:37,706 every one of my children 2683 01:29:37,747 --> 01:29:39,582 got the chance 2684 01:29:37,747 --> 01:29:39,582 to see the world beyond. 2685 01:29:43,170 --> 01:29:45,172 I saw them off 2686 01:29:43,170 --> 01:29:45,172 to California, 2687 01:29:45,214 --> 01:29:47,841 Colorado, Virginia, 2688 01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:50,344 Texas, Florida, 2689 01:29:50,384 --> 01:29:51,887 New York. 2690 01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:54,931 I've watched them 2691 01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:54,931 graduate college, play ball, 2692 01:29:54,973 --> 01:29:57,391 practice nursing, 2693 01:29:54,973 --> 01:29:57,391 practice law. 2694 01:29:57,433 --> 01:29:59,186 Bye, Mom. 2695 01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:05,441 -And yes, some of them 2696 01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:05,441 have even written books. 2697 01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:05,441 -[Kelly] Goodbye! 2698 01:30:15,952 --> 01:30:18,372 My husband, Kelly, 2699 01:30:15,952 --> 01:30:18,372 bless his soul, 2700 01:30:18,412 --> 01:30:20,123 found his peace, at last. 2701 01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:22,751 He left a legacy of 2702 01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:22,751 atonement that, frankly, 2703 01:30:22,792 --> 01:30:25,170 took my breath away. 2704 01:30:25,212 --> 01:30:28,882 He deposited his pension 2705 01:30:25,212 --> 01:30:28,882 checks in a secret account, 2706 01:30:28,924 --> 01:30:32,052 that he had opened 2707 01:30:28,924 --> 01:30:32,052 just for me. 2708 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:35,931 I never had to worry about 2709 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:35,931 earning another nickel again. 2710 01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:45,065 -Does anyone want these? 2711 01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:45,065 -You can have it. 2712 01:30:45,107 --> 01:30:47,650 [Evelyn] When it was my time 2713 01:30:45,107 --> 01:30:47,650 to take leave of this world, 2714 01:30:47,692 --> 01:30:50,737 all my chicks were 2715 01:30:47,692 --> 01:30:50,737 there to see me off. 2716 01:30:50,779 --> 01:30:52,989 It was a lovely day, indeed. 2717 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,710 Tuff, you want to 2718 01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,710 take Mom's typewriter? 2719 01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:07,129 Yeah. 2720 01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,949 Oh, my goodness. 2721 01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:39,702 I believe this was 2722 01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:39,702 the last thing I ever wrote. 2723 01:31:39,744 --> 01:31:43,206 "Every time I pass the church, 2724 01:31:39,744 --> 01:31:43,206 I stop and make a visit. 2725 01:31:43,248 --> 01:31:45,375 So when I'm carried in 2726 01:31:43,248 --> 01:31:45,375 feet first, 2727 01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:49,587 God won't say, 2728 01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:49,587 'Who is it?'" 2729 01:31:49,629 --> 01:31:51,589 Well, it's not my best. 2730 01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:53,758 But the sentiment is right. 2731 01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:33,006 [♪ K.D. Lang: "I'm Sitting 2732 01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:33,006 on Top of the World"] 2733 01:32:35,217 --> 01:32:37,469 ♪ I'm sitting ♪ 2734 01:32:37,511 --> 01:32:41,555 ♪ On top of the world ♪ 2735 01:32:43,016 --> 01:32:46,436 ♪ Just rolling along ♪ 2736 01:32:46,478 --> 01:32:50,315 ♪ Rolling along ♪ 2737 01:32:52,359 --> 01:32:54,403 ♪ I'm quitting ♪ 2738 01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:58,532 ♪ The blues of the world ♪ 2739 01:33:00,033 --> 01:33:02,785 ♪ Just singing a song ♪ 2740 01:33:04,037 --> 01:33:07,249 ♪ Singing a song ♪ 2741 01:33:08,458 --> 01:33:10,626 ♪ Glory hallelujah ♪ 2742 01:33:10,668 --> 01:33:13,922 ♪ I just called the parson ♪ 2743 01:33:13,963 --> 01:33:18,552 ♪ Said, "Hey, par, 2744 01:33:13,963 --> 01:33:18,552 get ready to call ♪ 2745 01:33:18,592 --> 01:33:23,348 ♪ 'Cause just 2746 01:33:18,592 --> 01:33:23,348 like Humpty Dumpty ♪ 2747 01:33:23,390 --> 01:33:26,684 ♪ I'm ready to fall" ♪ 2748 01:33:26,726 --> 01:33:28,728 ♪ I'm sitting ♪ 2749 01:33:28,770 --> 01:33:33,149 ♪ On top of the world ♪ 2750 01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:37,904 ♪ Just rolling along ♪ 2751 01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:41,533 ♪ Rolling along ♪ 2752 01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:56,798 [chorus] ♪ Ooh ♪ 2753 01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:01,886 ♪ Glory hallelujah ♪ 2754 01:34:01,928 --> 01:34:05,098 ♪ I just called the parson ♪ 2755 01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:10,061 ♪ Said, "Hey, par, 2756 01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:10,061 get ready to call ♪ 2757 01:34:10,103 --> 01:34:14,732 ♪ 'Cause just 2758 01:34:10,103 --> 01:34:14,732 like Humpty Dumpty ♪ 2759 01:34:14,774 --> 01:34:18,236 ♪ I'm ready to fall" ♪ 2760 01:34:18,278 --> 01:34:20,238 ♪ I'm sitting ♪ 2761 01:34:20,280 --> 01:34:24,618 ♪ On top of the world ♪ 2762 01:34:25,659 --> 01:34:29,080 ♪ Just rolling along ♪ 2763 01:34:29,122 --> 01:34:32,208 ♪ Rolling along ♪ 2764 01:34:33,960 --> 01:34:37,839 ♪ Just rolling along ♪ 2765 01:34:37,880 --> 01:34:41,134 ♪ Rolling along ♪ 2766 01:34:42,344 --> 01:34:46,139 ♪ Just rolling along ♪ 2767 01:34:46,181 --> 01:34:50,185 ♪ Rolling along ♪ 165611