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1
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CONOR: When you live with someone,
they can really push your buttons.
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00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,240
Especially when they're sticking
their knob in your mam.
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,360
GROANING
4
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,680
Will you two shut up in there?
5
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,080
MAIREAD: Who's the sergeant now?
6
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,080
Conor.
7
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,320
CONOR SHOUTS
Get out!
8
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,360
What does this say?
"Attention, Conor.
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00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,040
"Before you leave the shower,
10
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,160
"wipe down the tiles and take
your pubes out of the drain."
11
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,560
My pubes aren't grey, so...
12
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,080
Quick tip - there really shouldn't
be any suds on the cup
13
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,560
when you put it
in the draining rack.
14
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,800
The suds are actually
the dirtiest thing in the sink.
15
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,000
When you hear yourself
saying things like that,
16
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,600
do you ever just want to
punch yourself in the face?
17
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,160
Just rinse the cup.
18
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:53,960
What are you doing?
19
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,040
I can't see, OK?
20
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,880
I need to be able to find
my box of fishing tackle.
21
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,720
Well, I can't see the TV.
22
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,360
Well, I can't see anything.
23
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,840
See them?
24
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,160
Leave it open.
25
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,880
Leave it, leave it...
Leave it open! Oh!
26
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,360
What is going on?!
27
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,440
BOTH: He did it!
Well, he started it.
28
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,480
Oh, I started it, did I? You're
playing on your silly little...
29
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,360
Because I was here
minding my own business...
30
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,800
Shut the fuck up!
31
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,400
Oh, I thought I was blind.
32
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,560
You asked me to make an effort,
and I made an effort.
33
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,120
But it's pointless.
He doesn't listen to me.
34
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,480
He doesn't want to do anything
with me. Obviously what you're doing
35
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,520
is not working, all right?
He's an adult now.
36
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,840
He's not a child any more.
37
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,960
Mam, could you do that?
Yeah, of course.
38
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,400
I hear you, OK? And I promise
I'll make more of an effort
39
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,320
when I come back from
my fishing trip.
40
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,640
But, sure, that's perfect.
He can go with you.
41
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,360
Ah, what? Not a chance.
42
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,760
Fishing is my...me time.
OK, you're going together.
43
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,440
Cos, Conor, otherwise you can forget
about your dinners being cooked
44
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,960
and your clothes being washed
45
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,920
and all the million things
that I do for you every single day.
46
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,320
And, Tony, you can forget
when I said...
47
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,280
SHE WHISPERS
48
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:04,640
What did she say?
49
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,160
We're going fishing.
50
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,360
What did she say to you?
51
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,520
HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
52
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,440
Oh, don't worry at all, Conor.
I got all this.
53
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,840
OK.
54
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,800
Why are you being so nice
all of a sudden?
55
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,600
I was being sarcastic,
you little prick.
56
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,360
Ah, there's the Healy I know.
57
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,720
This is fun, isn't it?
58
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,800
It's like a father-son thing.
59
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,360
And you get to meet Tony's dad.
He's got a pub down by the lake.
60
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,160
It's like three generations.
61
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,920
First of all, Conor is not my son.
62
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,240
Yeah, you fucking wish.
63
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,640
Second of all,
any father-son memories I have,
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00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,240
Conor wouldn't want to relive.
Trust me.
65
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,800
Don't mind Tony.
His dad's great craic.
66
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,880
Bye, love. Bye, love.
67
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,120
Drive safe.
68
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,120
Watch out, watch out, watch out!
69
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,440
Got you.
70
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:08,800
CONOR LAUGHS
71
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,000
What are you trying to catch anyway?
Some stupid fish?
72
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,720
Not just any fish.
73
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,440
I was at the lake two weeks ago,
and I hooked the biggest trout
74
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,880
that's ever been caught there.
75
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,120
Yeah? Did you eat it?
76
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,720
No, it got away.
77
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,520
So you didn't catch a fish,
you saw a fish.
78
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,760
Yeah, well,
it won't get away this time.
79
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,040
CONOR YAWNS
80
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,960
I thought it was an hour away.
81
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,400
I took the scenic route.
82
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,160
HE GROANS
83
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,240
Who takes the long way on purpose?
84
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,120
Like, you do know that me and Mam
work in a fish shop?
85
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,360
We can get fish whenever we want.
86
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,920
We don't need to pull it
out of the water.
87
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,240
When you catch it yourself,
it tastes better.
88
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,120
Have you got any food? I'm starving.
89
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,000
CONOR SHRIEKS
90
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,920
What the fuck! Worms!
91
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,480
Maggots! Will you put the lid
back on?
92
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,840
They're crawling on me!
93
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,080
SHOUTING AND SHRIEKING
94
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,120
Fuck's sake!
95
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,480
It's in my mouth!
96
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,240
THEY SHOUT
97
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,560
They're biting my nipples!
Help me get my jumper off!
98
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,200
They're crawling into my hole!
I got you, I got you.
99
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,200
Who puts maggots in a lunchbox?!
100
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,040
It's not a lunchbox!
101
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,280
It's a bait box!
How was I supposed to know?
102
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,120
Morning. Morning.
103
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,640
Grand day for it.
104
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,400
Just get back in the car
and don't touch anything.
105
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,520
Still going up my hole.
106
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,640
The only thing I can think of
107
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,800
that would be worse than spending
a weekend with Tony Healy
108
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,760
is spending a weekend
with two Tony Healys.
109
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,040
But as it turned out,
only one of them Tony Healys
110
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,440
was a boring prick.
111
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,800
It's the famous Conor.
112
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,840
Finally get to meet you at last!
113
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,320
Aye.
114
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,920
And you're as good-looking
as your mam, aye? Stop!
115
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,960
And you've the patience of a saint
living with my young fella.
116
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,880
Oh, that's it. Oh!
117
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,400
We just came in to get some bait.
118
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,120
Great. Come down to the end of
the bar,
119
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,640
I'll get you sorted, Junior.
120
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,280
HE LAUGHS
121
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,160
Oh, your dad's sound.
122
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,520
He's not like you at all.
123
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,840
Junior.
124
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,120
Don't call me that, all right?
Only he calls me that.
125
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,720
All right, Junior? What's the craic,
Junior? How are you?
126
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,840
Ah, Junior, how are you?
127
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,600
Junior it is.
128
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,560
Why do they call you Junior?
129
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,280
It's all about dick size.
130
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,800
Tiny! Yeah, well, mine's grown
a bit since I was ten.
131
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,120
So has mine.
132
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,600
Mine's growing right now!
133
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,240
You were seen fishing up the lake
the last few weeks.
134
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,720
You never came down.
135
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,720
Yeah, I was going to, but, you know,
I got called back to work.
136
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,120
Jesus. Here, Senior.
137
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,600
Is that a real fish?
138
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,880
Oh, you can be sure of it.
139
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,920
That's massive.
140
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,840
It was caught by the best fisherman
on the lake.
141
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,160
You?
142
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,160
He's talking about himself. Oh.
143
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,080
Junior caught
this lovely little fella.
144
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,560
Make a nice badge, wouldn't it?
145
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,160
Tiny! Like his mickey!
146
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,760
THEY LAUGH
147
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,280
Yeah, I caught that
when I was, like, ten,
148
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,320
and he just puts it up there
to make his look bigger.
149
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,680
It does.
150
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,400
Right. That'll be nine euro.
151
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,360
You're charging me? Yeah.
152
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,560
Well, the man's
got to make a living.
153
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,800
That young fella'll go far.
154
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,640
Go on, so.
I'll give you a family discount.
155
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,840
8.50.
156
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,160
Ha-ha! I've no change.
157
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,800
TONY SENIOR AND CONOR LAUGH
158
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,040
I'll take you on at a game of pool,
though, before you go.
159
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,960
Or darts, or rings.
160
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,640
No. What's wrong with you?
161
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,320
Are you afraid of getting thrashed
by the old man
162
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,360
in front of the young fella?
163
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,000
No. It's just we've got to
get camp set up.
164
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,720
There's a spare room above.
165
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,760
No, we'll camp out.
166
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,160
Suit yourselves.
167
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,200
Can we just stay here?
I don't want to go camping, like.
168
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,800
I'm not sure if you've noticed,
but his favourite hobby
169
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,960
is to make me feel like shit, OK?
No, thank you.
170
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,840
Sounds like a you problem.
171
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,600
Enjoy the fishing, boys!
172
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,320
Leave a few big ones behind for me.
173
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,320
See you, Senior!
174
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,840
Your dad is a legend.
175
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,520
Everybody knows
the whole reason humans evolved
176
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,400
was to make life easier
for ourselves.
177
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,360
What's this? You sleep in it.
Tiny.
178
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,400
That's why we invented houses,
and electricity.
179
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:57,400
After all that hard work, why would
anyone want to go camping?
180
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,680
Grab that pole there.
181
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,560
OK. And it's going to go up
through there.
182
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,280
Keep going.
183
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,800
It's getting harder.
184
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,480
Is it there?
185
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,840
No, it's gone floppy here.
186
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,200
Conor. Yeah?
Will you hit this in, please?
187
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,440
Just mind my hand.
188
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,880
Come on.
189
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,480
Harder? Come on, will ya?
190
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,720
Argh!
191
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,480
I told you to mind my hand.
192
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,200
You should mind your own hand.
193
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,080
I'm not the one
with the fucking hammer.
194
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,520
You're the one with the hand,
though.
195
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,040
So how you getting on in the great
outdoors? Are you having fun?
196
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,920
Yeah. Yeah.
197
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,840
Come on, you stupid thing!
198
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,880
Yeah, no, we're getting on
like a house on fire.
199
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,720
More like a house fire, I'd say.
No, look, his attitude is great.
200
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,720
There's a family of worms here,
Tony.
201
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,120
Actually, he's always loved
the nature, like, so...
202
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,520
Yeah, he's a natural hunter,
so...
203
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,640
I'm delighted you're getting on.
204
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,400
You know, it's early days yet,
but we've...
205
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,160
We've got all the stressful jobs
out of the way, and, um,
206
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,400
once we get out on the water
and start fishing,
207
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,720
we'll be bonding in no time.
CONOR SHOUTS
208
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,640
Just don't let him wander off
on his own, all right?
209
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,000
No. Uh, I should be so lucky.
210
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,920
Look, sure, I'll let you go
back to Conor. OK.
211
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720
Bye-bye-bye. Bye! Bye-bye-bye.
212
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,600
Can I smoke in the tent?
213
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,280
Conor.
214
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,240
Get the bait.
215
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,720
What?
216
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,480
We're going fishing.
217
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,320
Catching fish takes a lot of skill.
218
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,120
They're smarter than
we give them credit for.
219
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,920
Bullshit, boy.
I work with fish every day.
220
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,480
They seem dumb as fuck to me.
221
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,320
Yeah, well, the one we're going
after today is smart.
222
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,240
Two weeks ago,
he pretended to be in shock
223
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,680
when I was taking the hook out.
224
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,560
The moment I had it out, he flipped
out of my hands and swam away.
225
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,080
He did, I swear.
226
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,760
Totally. I believe you.
227
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,240
Fish was pretending to be dead.
228
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,320
Eyes closed,
pretending not to breathe.
229
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,760
Was its tongue sticking out
its mouth like this?
230
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,600
All right, dickhead, just cast off
and we'll see who's smarter,
231
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,680
you or the fish.
232
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,840
Now, the key is, right,
hold the rod tight.
233
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,480
Nice and tight.
It's not rocket science.
234
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,080
I've got it.
235
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,880
When you've been working
as a fishmonger as long as me,
236
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,280
fishing with a rod is something
you develop naturally
237
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,920
without any practice.
238
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,040
Sort of the same way babies
can swim without armbands
239
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,120
because they've been living
240
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,760
in their mam's womb water
for nine months.
241
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,080
All right, I got it, I got it. OK.
242
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,520
Oh!
243
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,280
Oh, Jesus. Ah, fuck.
244
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,960
Conor! It's stuck on something.
245
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,280
I know! Argh!
246
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,760
I need to do it harder, is it?
No, no, no, no, no!
247
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,960
Oh, Jesus, Conor, pull it out!
Pull this out.
248
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,560
What's that? You want me to cast
again?
249
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,120
No, no, no, no, no, no, please!
Right.
250
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,160
TONY SCREAMS
Ah, Jesus!
251
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,920
Oh, God! Oh, God!
252
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,200
What's happening?
253
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,480
TONY SCREAMS
254
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,440
Conor! What?
255
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,480
Pull it out! Oh, shit!
256
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,240
Ah! OK, OK.
257
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,240
Breathe, breathe. Which way...?
258
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,080
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Count down from five, please.
259
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,200
Five, four, three, two, one!
260
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,360
HE SCREAMS
261
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,040
Sitting in awkward silence
262
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,120
is something I got very good at
in prison.
263
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,200
But after 30 minutes,
someone has to say something.
264
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,360
Why'd you start fishing, anyway?
265
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,360
I was advised to take up a hobby
266
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,680
to get my mind off
catching criminals.
267
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,240
So you went from
trying to catch criminals
268
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,640
you couldn't catch on a bike
269
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,240
to a fish you couldn't catch
on a lake?
270
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,920
When you catch the fish, do you
have to read them their rights?
271
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,520
Very funny.
272
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,680
Are the fish innocent
until proven guilty?
273
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,800
Do you know what, Conor?
Just get it all out of your system.
274
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,400
No, that's it. All right, I'm done.
275
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,560
It's a good PLAICE for it, isn't it?
276
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,440
HE WINCES
Oh!
277
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,840
Ah!
278
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,840
How sore is that on a SCALE
of one to ten?
279
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,920
Stop, Conor, will you?
280
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,160
What's going on?
281
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,600
Tony! What's going on?
282
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,000
Sh!
Will you keep your voice down?
283
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,440
You're going to scare it away.
284
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,320
That splashing over there
was the trout. I know it was.
285
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,760
Will you hold this?
286
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,680
Conor, will you stop it?
You're going to scare it away.
287
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,440
Do it like I showed you.
288
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,520
LINE SPOOLS
I think I got something!
289
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,360
No, you didn't.
290
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,520
Look, I did!
291
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,240
Jesus, you do have something.
292
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,200
I told you!
Pull it in, pull it in quickly.
293
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,720
I am! Pull it in, Conor, pull it in!
It's getting away.
294
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,480
I know! Reel and pull and pull.
I am! Stop telling me what to do!
295
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,320
Reel it in, come on! Fine!
You do it. Jesus Christ.
296
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,400
Yeah, that's the guy.
That's the one I almost caught.
297
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,600
Holy shit!
It's bigger than your dad's one!
298
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,240
I know.
THEY LAUGH
299
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,480
Come on, come on.
300
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,560
Oh...
301
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,920
Ah, bollocks.
302
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,760
Why aren't you upset?
303
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,320
Because now I know where it lives.
304
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,600
And trout come out to feed
in the morning.
305
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,720
So tomorrow, it's mine.
306
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,480
A duck!
307
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,600
That's a mad-looking duck.
308
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,680
BAND PLAYS "THE WILD ROVER"
309
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,320
Confess what I've done
310
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:53,600
And I'll ask them to pardon
the prodigal son
311
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,480
And as they caress me...
312
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,600
So there we were, right,
caught nothing all day,
313
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,400
and we see this monster fish
jump in the distance.
314
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,880
So we're on it.
315
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,800
Cast off to that spot.
316
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,600
We have a bite within two minutes.
317
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,240
It was a massive fucker.
318
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,320
Like, way bigger than that one,
wasn't it?
319
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,040
And?
320
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,520
He slipped off the hook
as I was hauling him in.
321
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,400
But I know where he is now,
so I'll get him tomorrow.
322
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,440
Two pints of Beamish, please.
323
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,160
Any luck with the fishing?
324
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,680
Aye, there was this one...
325
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,560
No, uh, nothing at all.
326
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,720
Tell me something, Conor,
I've been trying to figure out.
327
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,920
How did Junior here convince
your mam to go out with him?
328
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,400
Well, that's one of life's
big mysteries.
329
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,360
Loch Ness, the morning boner
and that.
330
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,160
SONG FINISHES
331
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,920
CHEERING
332
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,800
My noble call -
Junior for a song.
333
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,440
What? No, no, no, no, no. Jesus!
334
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,120
No, no, no. Don't waste your breath.
335
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,680
Junior doesn't sing at all.
336
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,400
He does sing.
He sings all the time.
337
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,960
No, I don't.
338
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,040
Yes, you do.
You sing in the shower all the time.
339
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,480
You even sang a song
to get my mum to marry you.
340
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,240
You have a great voice...for a
guard.
341
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,600
Go on, Junior!
342
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,120
SHOUTS OF AGREEMENT
343
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,760
Here.
344
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,640
These are on the house.
345
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,840
Go on, Junior, sing a song
for your old man.
346
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,160
Ah, you will.
347
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,680
Junior! Junior! Junior! Junior!
348
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,160
EVERYONE JOINS IN
349
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,840
All right, all right, all right.
I'll sing something.
350
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,560
This is, uh, one Mam and Dad
used to sing.
351
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,920
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
352
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,840
I am a sailor
353
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,600
You're my first mate
354
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,960
We signed on together
355
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,640
We coupled our fate
356
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,800
Hauled up our anchor
357
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,120
Determined not to fail
358
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,960
For the heart's treasure
359
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,120
Together we set sail
360
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,800
With no maps to guide us
361
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,200
We steered our own course
362
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:25,880
Rode out the storms
when the winds were gale force
363
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:31,720
Sat out the doldrums
in patience and hope
364
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:38,000
Working together
we learned how to cope
365
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,680
ALL: Life is an ocean
366
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,000
And love is a boat
367
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,240
In troubled waters
368
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,080
That keeps us afloat
369
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,320
When we started the voyage
370
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:59,080
It was just me and you
371
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,200
Now gathered round us
372
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:07,320
We have our own crew.
373
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,000
How can I protect you
from the...
374
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,000
ALL, DRUNKENLY: I am a sailor
375
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,680
And you're my first mate
376
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,720
We signed up together...
377
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,080
I'll see you, Mary. I'll give you a
text!
378
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,920
I got Mary's number. She's sound,
mind.
379
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,160
I don't feel so good.
380
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,000
Oh, I feel ten out of ten.
381
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,640
Oh!
382
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,520
Conor, will you rub my back?
It helps me to get it up.
383
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,320
I'm not rubbing your back.
I'll pat it. Oh!
384
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,080
TONY RETCHES
You're all right.
385
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,040
Oh, God. Mind the shoes!
386
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,400
Uh-oh.
387
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,600
HE BREAKS WIND
388
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,840
Ah!
389
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,640
Here, get that into you.
It'll help you.
390
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,200
CONOR SHIVERS
391
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,080
Tony?
392
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,560
What?
393
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,080
Are you asleep?
394
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,560
Obviously not.
395
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,080
Tony?
396
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,480
What?
397
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,760
Tony, it's cold.
398
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,160
Why don't you come on over here,
right,
399
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,120
we'll do like the penguins and we'll
huddle together for warmth.
400
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,240
What? Like the penguins.
401
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,000
I'm not fucking doing that.
Why do you want me to do that?
402
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,600
I just think we'd both be warmer
if you did.
403
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,000
Why don't you do it to me?
404
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,960
Cos I asked you
to come over here.
405
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,840
I'm asking you. You're older.
You come over here.
406
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,120
Difference does it make
that I'm older?
407
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,240
Why don't we both meet in the
middle? OK. On three.
408
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,280
BOTH: One. Two. Three.
409
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,320
Ahhh.
410
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,680
Tony? What?
411
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,400
Who was your...?
Who was your first kiss?
412
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,120
Seriously, Conor?
413
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,040
I have to talk to get to sleep.
414
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,400
I'm not telling you that.
415
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,400
I'll keep annoying you till you do.
416
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,000
OK, fine.
417
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,800
It was a girl named Trudy.
418
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,600
Yeah? Yeah.
419
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,520
What was she like?
420
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,360
She was OK.
421
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,000
Where is she now?
422
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,400
I think she's dead.
423
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,000
Morning.
INSECT BUZZES
424
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,720
What the hell is he doing here?
425
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,960
Ah! Lovely morning.
426
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,360
How are the boys?
427
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,520
That's a cosy set-up, isn't it?
428
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,600
We should get out on the water.
429
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,840
I'll show you how to catch that
little fish you were talking about.
430
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,960
Oh, he is class.
431
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,800
You told him about the fish?
432
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,720
Er...well, yeah.
433
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,960
Last night we were just chatting
a bit, and I was...
434
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,920
I was bigging you up, though,
I said you nearly caught
435
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,880
a bigger fish
than the one in the pub.
436
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,280
And, uh, I told him that you
figured out where to catch it, too.
437
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,680
So he said he'd join us, like.
438
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,800
You told him on purpose?
439
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,840
Is there a problem?
440
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,520
You knew the one thing that would
hurt me more than anything
441
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,120
in the world would be to watch him
hauling in that fish instead of me.
442
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,040
I don't give a fuck
who catches the fish.
443
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,000
Fishing is stupid and you're both
idiots if you care about it.
444
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,200
What are you doing?
445
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,280
I'm not sticking around
to watch him rub my nose in it
446
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,720
like he always fucking does
when he hauls in that fish.
447
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,000
Pack up the stuff. We're leaving.
448
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,400
Are you giving up already?
449
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,200
Why couldn't you just have
kept your mouth shut?
450
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,840
You don't own my mouth, boy.
My mouth can say what it wants.
451
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,720
Just pack up the car.
452
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,000
Nah. You're the one who wants
to leave, you pack it up.
453
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,640
I'm having a cigarette.
454
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,200
TONY COUGHS
455
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,000
It's just a fish, Healy.
Get over it.
456
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,120
Ha-ha!
457
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,760
I'll tell you something.
458
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,680
If my dad was alive and he liked
catching big fish...
459
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,280
..I'd do anything just to go down
and spend time with him
460
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,960
and help him do that.
461
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,880
I'm saying you should go down
and help your dad do it.
462
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,200
I know what you're saying.
463
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,000
Did you forget something?
464
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,720
What's that? Well, you won't catch
many fish without a rod.
465
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,920
Just thought you could use
some help.
466
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,280
That's if you want it.
467
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
468
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:39,800
Here, you can hold this if you want.
469
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,600
Any bites yet? Nah.
470
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,080
Might be in the wrong spot.
471
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,040
Cast out to that ridge over there.
472
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,360
That's where we hooked him
yesterday.
473
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,000
Hair of the dog?
474
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,840
TONY SENIOR CHUCKLES
475
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,160
One for you.
476
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,800
Aah.
477
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,040
QUACKING
478
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,920
Might not be our day, boys.
479
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,960
Conor had this interesting technique
that he was using yesterday.
480
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,560
Conor, do you want to show Dad?
481
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,880
Ah, well, yeah.
482
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,920
So, it's pretty straightforward,
really. You just...
483
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,680
You take the rod
and you just kind of fuck it.
484
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,640
Just move it around
as much as you can.
485
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,240
Don't think too much about it.
486
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,920
You won't catch much doing that,
487
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,520
except the rock
at the bottom of the lake.
488
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:48,520
LINE SPOOLS
See? Oh! Told you.
489
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,240
That's no rock.
490
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,920
Ah, that's a rock.
491
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,840
No fish would be that strong.
492
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,240
Oh! Oh, fuck!
493
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,760
Fuck's sake!
494
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,040
Hold it! Don't lose it now.
That's it, Dad. Nice and easy.
495
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,680
Nice and easy. A big one.
A really big one!
496
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,080
Junior.
497
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,680
I mean Tony.
498
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,080
It's a bit too big for me
just to pull.
499
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,680
Here, give me a hand.
500
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,680
That's it. I think we're going to
need more manpower.
501
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:20,920
Come on, Conor!
502
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,680
OK.
503
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,560
Come on, that's it! It's coming!
504
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,760
Here we go!
Get it, get it, get it!
505
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,960
THEY CHEER
506
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,880
It's fucking huge!
507
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,640
Oh, class!
508
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,200
Well, what you want to do with it?
509
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,840
Er... Oh, geez, I don't know.
510
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,600
You caught it. You decide.
511
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,680
We all caught it.
I'd prefer you decide.
512
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,360
Do you know what?
513
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,000
You've already got one award-winning
fish behind the bar.
514
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,840
If you haven't gone fishing before,
like me,
515
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,800
you probably think fishing
is about catching fish.
516
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,320
He's free.
517
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,680
But the catching part
only lasts for about a minute.
518
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,520
The rest of the day, you're spending
time in your own head
519
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,120
solving the problems
from the week before.
520
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,000
Or problems that have been
stuck in your head for years.
521
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,040
It reminds me of this YouTube
video...
522
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,960
Like how to find a way to enjoy time
with a family member
523
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,240
who drives you mental
most of the time.
524
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,160
I'll leave you for a minute, will I?
525
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:10,800
I'm kind of hungry.
526
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,160
Yeah.
527
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,960
How long is the drive home?
528
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,680
Don't worry.
I'll take the fastest way.
529
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,200
Ah, I'm in no rush.
530
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,440
I don't mind taking
the scenic route.
531
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:28,680
Well, it wasn't that bad, fishing.
532
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,760
Yeah? Do you think
you'll get into it?
533
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,960
Er, no. OK.
534
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,520
That's it, yeah.
535
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,200
You're doing good.
You're doing good, Tone.
536
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,880
OK, he's coming up behind me.
Will you get him?
537
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,280
You've got a lightning, use it.
538
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,160
Yes! OK. OK. You're still first.
Grand.
539
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,840
Lads! What's going on?
Your fishing shit's everywhere,
540
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,440
and there's mud
all over the hallway.
541
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,480
I think I got one of those
lightning things now.
542
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,320
Yeah, you're ready to go.
You keep going.
543
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,920
Ah, Jesus, Mairead,
we can't see the screen!
544
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,080
It's the middle of the day, Tony.
545
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,040
Yeah, well, we're in the middle
of a race. OK?
546
00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,240
A race. Seriously?
547
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,160
Leave it. I don't care
what you're in the middle of.
548
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,760
We can't see the screen.
It's the middle of the day.
549
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,440
We can't... Don't be so stupid.
Tony!
550
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,120
Yes! I came fourth.
551
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,360
Yes! You...
You came last, though. Ugh.
552
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,800
Seriously, Tony? Seriously?
553
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,920
We're on to the next level.
Come on.
554
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,640
Sorry. We're on to the next level
there.
555
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,080
Who just came in?
556
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,200
Oh, fuck's sake.
557
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,800
Who was that? Hmm?
558
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,000
I am a sailor
559
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,040
You're my first mate
560
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,160
We signed on together
561
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,760
We coupled our fate
562
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,040
Hauled up our anchor
563
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,760
Determined not to fail
564
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,760
For the heart's treasure
565
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,760
Together we set sail.
566
00:27:56,810 --> 00:28:01,360
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