Original subtitles

You've almost got 'im pinned, pa.

Only one shoulder, referee.

Now he's got you pinned good, pa.

You heard the referee. I give up.

Oh, lucas, you're not just humorin' me

Cuz I'm the president?

My word of honor, mr. Lincoln.

Abe, you get those bony knees off of lucas.

Oh, we was just havin' a little harmless fun, sister emma.

Weren't we, lucas?

Yeah. I'll let you know how harmless

After doc takes a look at my back.

I'm ashamed of you, abe.

Good rubdown with a little horse liniment

An' you'll be as good as new.

Is this the way to treat a guest? An' on your birthday?

I'll write my apology into the congressional record.

Come on, now. Now you get over there an' wash up.

You're bad boys both of you an' you're not gettin' a mouthful

Of this birthday cake until I see clean hands and faces.

And ears.

Oh, an' don't forget to leave some room for supper tonight.

That's right, mr. Lincoln.

Mark's been waitin' a long time to have you taste his cookin'.

I'll leave some room, mark.

All those pictures were taken by mr. Matthew brady.

Oh, they sure look like you, mr. Lincoln.

Well, unfortunately they do.

Mr. Brady was a great artist.

But even he couldn't...Change a baboon into a peacock.

You've got a nice face, abe, when it's clean.

Well, a baboon is what they called me in the newspaper.

That was a long time ago. Now come and cut your cake.

No, abe, first you make a wish

An' then you blow out the candle.

Of course. A wish-

Ann, my poor darlin' ann.

Blow out the candle, mr. Lincoln.

The wind an' the rain, beatin' on her grave.

My, but you've grown, mark, just in these last few months.

Expect I have, ma'am.

You studying hard at school?

I-I'm doin' the best I can.

12 months' schooling's all abe lincoln ever had.

How-how's things at the ranch, lucas?

Everything's fine, mr. Lincoln.

Oh, delighted to hear it.

A man with a hoe is the backbone of the country.

Well, how are the good citizens of north fork farin'?

Nothin' unusual to report.

Babies are being born, old folks dyin'.

But there's more born than dyin' so I imagine that,

In a year or two, we'll just be a regular city.

I do have a hankerin' see north fork again.

Now, abe.

We can bring 'im back in the mornin', emma.

I don't like leavin' 'im alone, lucas.

Look, emma, no-no harm will come to me.

It's been a long time since I've been out of the house.

I'm of the people, sister,

I've got to get out an' see the people every once in a while,

Get to know what they're feelin' first hand.

All right, abe, but you behave yourself, now.

Is my frock coat pressed?

It's hangin' in your closet.

But it smells of camphor, wear something else.

Oh I can't, emma. People expect to see me in my frock coat.

Look after 'im, lucas.

Oh, don't worry, emma, we'll take good care of 'im.

You go on up an' help 'im dress.

All right.

Who's ann?

Oh, I expect he was talkin' about ann rutledge, son.

She was abraham lincoln's sweetheart they say. She died.

Golly! He really thinks he's abraham lincoln, doesn't he?

Well, he lost his own sweetheart durin' the war.

He sure is looney.

Mark!

Oh, I'm sorry, pa, but... Well...You know what I mean.

Well, let's just say he's a strange man, son.

But he's also a kind man, and a gentle man.

Oh I-I know, pa, an' I like 'im but I-I just don't understand

What makes 'im pretend like that all the time.

Well, son, everybody pretends sometime durin' his life.

As a matter of fact, when you were a little boy,

3 or 4 years old, you had a little friend named jessie.

I don't remember any jessie.

Well, he was a little fellow you dreamed up in your imagination.

As a matter of fact, you used to make your mother

Set an extra place at the table for him every night.

Ha, wonder what made me do that.

Well, son, I imagine you were lonely, you needed a friend,

So you made 'im up.

Oh, yeah, pa, but... That's only kid stuff.

Well, son, grownups pretend for different reasons.

Sometimes it's a means of runnin' away from-

Well, from a reality they can't face.

What happened to him?

The war wounded some in strange unaccountable ways, mark.

Abe is ready.

Now, before we go, lucas,

I've got a little present here for tad.

That was mr. Lincoln's son.

It's a souvenir from old abe.

Mr. Lincoln, I don't think the boy is old enough

To handle guns.

This is a colt that u.S. Grant carried when he took vicksburg.

I-I'd like the boy to have it.

I know but I don't think-

Lucas, it gives the president great pleasure

To give it to the boy.

All right, mark, you can take it.

Oh... Thank you, mr. Lincoln.

Hmm, shall we go?

Oh, I-I can't go with you, I've gotta get supper ready.

We'll be home about 5:00 o'clock, son.

Enjoy yourself in town, mr. Lincoln.

I will.

You behave yourself, abe.

Yes, ma'am, I will.

Such a fine day to meet the good citizens of north fork.

Bye.

Would you like to stop by the hotel

And rest a bit, mr. Lincoln?

Oh, I've been resting up all year for this, lucas.

Let's stretch our legs a bit.

All right.

4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10-

11, 12, 13-

14, 15, how are you, mr. Lincoln?

In robust health, thank you, susan.

You faring any better with your schoolwork?

Yes, sir. Teacher says

Since...Mom gave me that tonic I've been real smart.

Columbus discovered america in 1492,

George washington signed the declaration of independence

In 1776.

Uh...Abraham lincoln was born in 1809, and was assas-

Well, go on.

And signed the proclamation of emancipation in 1862.

Bye, mr. Lincoln.

Howdy mornin', mr. Mckeever?

Mornin', mr. Lincoln, mornin', lucas.

Sure is nice to see you in north fork.

Well, thank you very much, an' how is business?

It's lookin' up.

Well, you know those are the reports I've been getting

From all over the country.

It's lookin' up.

That's a fine lookin' rail splitter you got there.

Yeah, it sure is.

Well, good day, mr. Mckeever.

Alright good day, mr. Lincoln. Good day, lucas.

Oh, lucas, you think we might-

Now, mr. Lincoln, you know you're a teetotaller.

Well, just a glass of water, lucas.

Oh, lucas, by the way, that wood saw you ordered came in.

You go on in, mr. Lincoln, I'll be right back.

Fine.

Hello, mr. Lincoln.

Mr. Lincoln, we're honored to have you in town, sir.

Well, it's my pleasure, mr. Swenson.

Can I buy you a beer?

No, thank you. A long, cold drink of water, please.

It's been a long, dry journey.

That road on a day like this can be fierce.

Gentlemen, I give you the union.

All: The union.

Mr. Lincoln? In your honor.

¶ when I was young I used to wait on master ¶

¶ an' bring him his plate ¶

¶ pass down the bottle when he got dry ¶

¶ an' brush away the blue-tail fly ¶

¶ jimmy crack corn and I don't care ¶

¶ the master's gone away ¶

Map says this is north fork.

I think we're lost somewhere in bedlam.

Bedlam?

That's a madhouse.

I wanna meet my president.

Oh, now, don't cause trouble, mister yordy.

He-he ain't botherin' you.

Mr. Lincoln.

Huh? Yes?

Don't you recognize me, mr. Lincoln?

Oh, no, I don't, young fella,

You must be a stranger around north fork.

That's right. I'm from virginia. I'm general robert e. Lee.

Why don't you go back to your table, mister?

Thank you very much, mr. Swenson, but I-

I think I can conduct this conversation with this good man.

I'm not a good man, mr. Lincoln, I'm a bad man.

I'm john wilkes booth.

Bang, bang, you're dead.

You're joshin' me, sir. John wilkes booth is a tragedian.

And you, sir, are a cheap clown.

See, mr. President, I'd...

Sure enjoy listenin' to you recite the gettysburg address?

This is not the battlefield.

This is a saloon and you, sir, are drunk.

You're fond of drunks, mr. Lincoln.

Why, I heard tell when they criticized general grant

For drinkin' a mite too much, you said,

"find out the brand an' give some to my other generals".

Why are you taunting me?

You're loco! Do you hear me?

You're loco with john brown,

Whose body lies a-movin' in the grave.

John brown, who shot my father down

In cold blood at harpers ferry!

Will you accept my apologies? I mean you no harm, citizen.

I'm not your citizen, mr. Loco.

Mr. Lincoln is my name.

All right, if you're mr. Lincoln, you know who I am.

Jack armstrong.

Well, jack armstrong was a good wrestler.

That's right. You wanna take me on?

Uh...I'd be proud to oblige you, sir. Mr. Swenson?

I'm comin' at you, mr. Lincoln!

Give it to him, mr. Lincoln.

Come on, mr. Lincoln. Give it.

Get him good, mr. Lincoln.

Come on. Give it to him.

Now you got 'im. Now you got 'im.

Right there. Get him good, mr. Lincoln. Get him good.

Get him good, mr. Lincoln.

That's it, mr. Lincoln, now you got 'im!

Come on now, mr. Lincoln.

I've had enough, okay?

Oh, you got 'im, mr. Lincoln, you surely got 'im good.

Oh, thank you, mr. Swenson.

Thank you. Good day, gentlemen.

All: Good day.

Nice hat, mr. Lincoln.

You all right, mr. Yordy?

I think he-he broke my arm.

eh! He broke my arm.

Oh, if you'd been there, lucas, you'd have seen.

I-I was only wrestlin' with 'im, I was-

It was all just good clean fun.

I never hurt anyone.

I know that, mr. Lincoln.

Sure he was just pretendin' when he said his arm was broken.

Mean like he- like he was pretendin'

When he said he was john wilkes booth.

You'll have another portion, mr. Lincoln?

No, no, thank you, lucas.

He was tauntin' me. That's no excuse.

I-I should've made light of his jokes.

Mr. Lincoln would never have allowed himself

To get taunted into a fight.

Mr. Lincoln would've-

Emma's gonna be angry with me.

I promised to behave myself... An' I didn't.

Mr. Lincoln, maybe you oughta go to bed now, huh?

Guess you're right, lucas. I am kind o' tired.

Maybe if I'd done as he said an' recited the gettysburg address.

It- it would've satisfied 'im.

"fourscore and seven years ago,

"our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation,

"conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition

"that all men are created equal."

"now we are en-engaged in a great civil war,

"testin' whether that nation or any nation so conceived

"an' so dedicated can long endure.

"we are met here on a great battlefield of-"

Pa, why couldn't somebody have stopped

That fight in the saloon?

Well, son, in a way I'm glad no one did.

Nils told me the man was teasin' 'im the way

A mean boy teases a helpless pup.

An' mr. Lincoln is no helpless pup.

Matter of fact, he's every bit the wrestler

The real abraham lincoln was.

Well, come on, son, let's finish up these dishes an' get to bed.

We've gotta get up early in the mornin'.

Blacksmith?

Yeah?

You finish shoein' my horse?

Mmm?

Guess I made a fool of myself in the saloon last night.

Drank myself to sleep after the doc set my arm

An' it hurt so bad.

I think your conscience oughta be botherin' you

Worse than that arm.

Yeah, I guess that's so.

I was thinkin' this mornin'

How I could set things straight, somehow.

Well, you might begin by apologizin' to old abe?

That's exactly what I had in mind. Where could I find abe?

I think lucas mccain took 'im out to his ranch.

About five miles on the road south o' town.

Much obliged.

Mr. Yordy, we gotta be ridin' the marinette.

Not until I apologize to mr. Lincoln...An' then kill 'im!

Nice work, mr. President.

Well, if abe lincoln can't split logs, who can?

You two like to go huntin'?

I'm gonna look for a couple o' rabbits for dinner.

Oh, no, pa, we're gonna stay here an' split some more logs.

All right, I'll be back in about an hour.

Well, now, mark, maybe you can try one.

Oh, no, it takes me 4 or 5 whacks

Just to get one of those split.

Well, not if you know how.

You just have to concentrate on makin' that log your enemy.

You say to yourself, "if I don't split that log in one whack,

Somethin' terrible is gonna happen to me."

Like, uh, I'm goin' to come down with the dropsy.

See? An' then you put all your strength

An' all your mind right into this sledge.

Umm?

He did it again!

Of course I did.

You don't think I wanna come down with the dropsy, do you?

Here, now.

Well, now you try it.

Oh, I-I don't think I can.

Sure you can. Now just bring her back, steady, now.

Now, you've got to split this log in one whack or, uh,

Your pa's crop is gonna be smothered by a dust storm

An' you won't have anythin' to eat for a whole year but beans.

I hate beans!

It works, mr. Lincoln.

Well, you didn't think abe lincoln would lie to you?

Well, I better get these logs over to-over to the wood shed.

Mr. Lincoln.

Oh, good day, friend.

Friend!

Well, that's a mighty christian attitude of yours

To call me your friend.

Now you don't recognize me, you've got a short memory.

Oh, you're the fellow I wrestled with yesterday.

I'm deeply sorry-

You stay right where you are, mr. President,

Put down that sledge.

I-I wasn't goin' to harm you, sir.

You stand still, an' I won't hurt you.

I'll put a bullet through your brain, you won't feel a thing.

Now, friend, I-

You can't get it through that poor clouded brain o' yours.

I'm not your friend. I'm gonna kill you.

Why do you wanna harm me?

Because I am a great patriot of the south.

You didn't believe me yesterday, but I'm really john wilkes booth

An' I'm here to assassinate you.

Drop that gun, mister! Or I'll shoot.

Drop it! Or I'll pull this trigger.

Drop it!

Mark, that's a souvenir gun, there are no bullets in it.

Oh, please, mister, don't shoot 'im. He's-he's defenseless.

You just stay where you are, sonny.

You're worse off than I thought.

You could've bluffed me, you could've taken away my gun.

I-I didn't think about that.

But I'm gonna kill you, or didn't you believe me?

I-I believe you. Turn your head, mark.

Don't hurt 'im, lucas. That's an order, mccain.

Get out o' here, mister.

Right now.

Sorry about the disturbance, lucas.

Poor fellow, war must have addled his brain.

It was loaded!

Yes.

Then- why did you tell me it wasn't.

I-I could have shot 'im.

I know.

Of course I'm-I'm not really so sure I could've.

I know.

We've just been through a bloody war, mark.

Boys not much older than you

Findin' out whether they could or couldn't pull a trigger.

Somethin' I hope you never have to find out.

¶ crack corn and I don't care ¶

¶ jimmy crack corn and I don't care ¶

¶ old master's gone away ¶

Hello, abe.

Hello, sister.

Did he behave himself, lucas?

You'd have been proud of 'im, emma,

He behaved just the way a great man should.

Thank you for everythin', lucas, mark.

It was our pleasure, mr. President.

Bye, mr. Lincoln.

Aren't you goin' to stay for a bite of supper?

No, we've gotta get home, emma. Bye.

Bye.

Whoa!

What's the matter, son?

Well, pa, is it really honest what we do with...Mr. Lincoln?

Is it- son, do you remember

When your grandma used to live with us a long time ago?

Well, I was pretty young but I remember a little.

Well, she was 88 years old then, kind of feeble,

Could hardly even see.

But like the rest of us,

She still wanted to feel alive an' useful.

So every mornin' she picked up a broom an' swept out the kitchen.

She didn't do a very good job.

So your mother an' I would have to do it all over again.

Now were we being honest with grandma?

Not really.

You see, to have been too honest would have been cruel.

So we let her go on an' sweep. Same thing with abe.

You see, son, it's-

Well, it's not really a question of honesty,

It's more a matter of kindness

An' understandin' for a fellow human being.

In other words, if you love someone,

It-it just can't be dishonest.

That's right, son.