All language subtitles for The Rifleman S04E07 Knight Errant

You really had to go
the long way around

To get yourself in a
fix like this.

Tabby, if pa finds you bustin'
through that fence...

Then we'll both get our hides
pinned to the barn door by pa,

So you'd better quiet down.

Man: Hello, violet.

Who-who are you? Where are
you- where are you from?

Out of the sunrise, from the
shine of the rainbow,

The county of the dragon,
from castle vermillion.

I, sir,
am don chimera de laredo,

And your obedient servant.

Y-you lost?

Nay, stripling, now how could
we be lost since we are here?

Uh-uh-uh-uh, the-the
main trail's half a mile over.

You shouldn't have any trouble
findin' it.

By my road gates, here is a
young guard who has come through

A grave personal peril, to
rescue the damsel in distress

From durin's fire, and allows
her to flee to the arms

Of her waiting prince!

Superb, stripling, superb.

All it was, was a pig stuck
in a crack in a shed.

Wasn't even a girl pig at that.

Aw, gadzooks, lad. Now, dole me
not with miserable details.

Yeah. Well, excuse me,
I've got some wood to cut.

Halt!

Kneel! Kneel, I say! Kneel.

You-you-you're not gonna
cut off my head.

Pa wouldn't like that.

Silence! I dub thee sir mark
mccain, knight of the realm,

Peer of the manor.

Rise, sir mark.

How did you know my name?

Who-who did you say you were?

Don chimera de laredo.

This is my squire, gates.

It's nice to meet you.

Now, I-I better get back
to my work.

Hold, sir mark.

Would you refuse hospitality to
a knight errant in a far land?

I tell you, sir knight, when my
lord lucas mccain shall hear-

You know my pa?

Do I know your pa?

Well, boy, after all the
crusades I've shared

With your pa, I know 'im
like a brother.

Course he probably knows me best
by my lay name, don le garde.

Gosh, mr. Le garde, I-

Ah! Don chimera de laredo.

Use the proper form of address.

I've heard 'im talk about you
quite a bit.

Of course, it was a
long time ago.

Yeah, life is a long time
ago.

Gates, good man, tether ye
the mounts, if you will.

Now, come, sir mark, I would see
the inside of yonder castle.

What brings you down here,
mr. Le gard?

Well this, young sire,
is armageddon,

I'm here to kill a man.

Who?

His very name chips my teeth.

W-what is his name?

His name, sir,
is colonel black.

Co-colonel black,
he's the other man

That you an' pa rode with.

Is he here?

No, he isn't,
I've never even seen him.

Well, fret you not, sir
knight, he will be soon.

And when he comes, feast your
eyes on a blaggard,

Because he won't last long.

Oh, but now, sir knight, surely
the castle mccain spreads

A board of pies and pasties?

And possibly a sucklin' pig
or two?

Stuffed with a chicken, stuffed
with a squab, hmm?

Stuffed with a nightingale.

We maybe have some stew.

Oh, what could be better than
stew? Lead on, mccain.

What have I told you about
lettin' strangers in here?

Oh, these aren't strangers,
pa, this is mr. Gates.

Gates?

Howdy. I'm foreman
for don le gard.

Don le gard?

Why, I haven't
seen that buck- watch this.

Amigo! Cuidado, hombre.

Uh?

Federales.

Que?

Los federales.
Federales!

Fede-

Federales!

You rogue! You blaggard!

Almost had me convinced those
mexican police had us.

And us, innocent as babes,
save for, uh, what was it?

500 head or so of mexican
mavericks?

Ah, those mavericks were
branded, don.

Oh, nay, lucas.

Sounds like rustlin' to me.

Oh, don, you'd better clear
up my good name right now.

Sir mark, I would have thee
know that thy pa rode with us

Under the impression that we
bought those cattle.

But, uh, through an oversight,
uh, through a mishap,

Really, we hadn't.

And when we couldn't show him
a bill of sale,

He rode right off an' left us.

Rode right out and left them,
son.

Oh, and you should've stayed,
lucas.

Oh, that was only the
beginning,

If you had stayed
you'd be a rich man today.

I'm satisfied.

oh!

Say, whatever happened to our
old friend colonel black?

Still fightin' the civil war?

I'll not sully my tongue with
news of black.

Let him speak for himself.

He'll be here before the sun
hits the noon mark.

Colonel black's comin' here?

Now look, I haven't seen either
of you fellows in all this time

An' you both show up together.

How come?

There's somethin' between us,
lucas.

Something that only will
be solved on the field of honor.

And since you're the only man
we both trust,

We've chosen your
place to do mortal combat.

Mortal combat? I thought
you two were friends.

Friends? Oh, yes, we were.

But I won't be duped and cozened
and lied to and challenged,

Not even by a friend.

Come on now, don,
it can't be that serious.

The man must die!

I'm off to the stable to prepare
my steed for combat...

With my lord's permission?

Gates, if you please.

Well, come on, son, let's clean
up these dishes together, huh?

Pa?

Hmm?

Is mr. Le gard for real?

Does he look real to you?

Yeah, but I don't think
things look real to him.

Oh, but mark, everythin'
depends on the way we see it.

Most of us have to live in the
time we are born to,

Whether we like it or not.

But some folks are rich enough
in money an' imagination

To live any time they want to.

Don just happens to like
the 15th century.

But don't folks think
he's kinda funny?

Oh, don't be fooled, son, he
knows exactly what he's doin',

An' he has a real time doin' it.

Is he really gonna fight
colonel black?

Well, not if I can talk
them out of it.

Hiya!

That's colonel black?

That's colonel black.

Mark, you've heard about the
charge of the light brigade.

Watch this!

Where is he? Don chimera, stand
forth an' meet your destiny.

Lieutenant mccain!

Colonel black, it's nice to
see you. How've you been?

Lucas, my boy, it's been
too many years.

It certainly has been too
many years.

Lookin' as good as ever.

Well, you're a sight
for sore eyes yourself.

Oh, well, who's this?

This is my son, mark.

Oh, how do you do, son?
This is my aide, scoobo.

Scoobo. Well, it's good to
see you again, you old renegade.

What? Oh, that's all in the
past.

I'm a respectable
businessman now.

Oh? Well, how long will that
last if you an' don have it out?

Oh, he's here?

He's here.

Oh, I suppose he got to you
first, huh?

Well-

I suppose I'm the sneakiest
no-good

That ever slapped flesh
to leather.

He didn't say that.

Oh he didn't, huh? Then he's
even sneakier than I thought.

Well, I can see you two
haven't changed a bit.

Oh.

Aha!

At your pleasure, sir.

Sir, in 20 minutes.

Uh, colonel, will you tell me
something,

What is it between
you two?

Ah, lucas, my boy,
I think I could use a drink.

All right.

Uh, you wanna lay a little
bet on it?

Sure, same bet?

Uh, let's...Kick it up
a mite.

Okay. 20 dollars.

Let's make it 100.

You got 100?

What's the difference?

It will be just like it
was the last time,

He'll never go through with it.

High stakes makes it much
more interestin'.

Just bet what you've got,
scoobo.

All right, I've got 63 dollars.

Oh, well I've only got 57.

You're on for 57.

Hmm.

You know, scoobo,

It seems to me they were more
serious this time.

Well, as you know, don an' I
weren't always, uh...

Quite legitimate, but that
has changed now.

Shortly after you last saw
us, a battle started between us.

The campaign has been
unrelentin' over the years.

I have seen my men fall
one by one.

My men wiped out,
week after week!

Their fusillades decimatin'
my men at arms!

An' my knights destroyed.

Until at the very end- through
treachery, mind you-

My castle itself was at stake.

Well, it sounds like
a range war!

Ah, oh, no, boy, much more
serious than that.

It was a chess game!

A chess game?

Well, more exactly, 1,606
chess games.

As you know, lucas, don an' I
have adjacent spreads,

So we played chess three
or four times a week.

Now, I've won 817 games
and he's won 789 games.

I lead him by 28 games!

Now, look, colonel, I don't
know anythin' about the game,

But I'd wager you're two
of the worst chess players

In the whole world.

Yes, well that's-that's
entirely immaterial.

What does matter is that a year
or so ago, don took to cheatin'.

Now beware, beware, lucas,
of a man, a chess player,

Who plays with his elbows low.

Did you ever think of playin'
a supervised game

To settle this argument?

It's gone much too far for
that. Gone much too far!

Then black began to cheat,

An' I had to brand him for the
rascal that he is.

And he struck me,
he threw down the gauntlet.

Now colonel black must die.

Well, couldn't you do a lot
better over a chess board?

It's hard to win against
cheatin', young man.

Oughta be kinda hard to
cheat against...

Against watchin'.

My pa an' I-

Sir mark, in armageddon,
there must be only one triumph.

The classical against the
modern.

I can defeat don at any time,
be it with a pistol or pony.

He knows nothin' about chess.

Then why aren't you more
games ahead of 'im?

My dear lucas, you'd have to
know the game to understand.

You're not interested
in the game,

You're only interested
in beatin' don.

I'm interested in killin' don!

So you're gonna prove you're
a better chess player

Because you're faster
on the draw?

That you're a better businessman

Because your competition
is dead?

You will prove nothin',
except you've been afraid.

Now listen here, lucas,
I'm afraid of nothin'!

You're afraid of not winnin'!

Failure can be one of the most
frightenin' things in the world.

A lot of men would rather die
than accept it.

I fail at nothin'!

You failed to convince yourself

That you're the better chess
player.

Any time a man pulls a trigger
on a gun, he's failed. I know.

The enemy willing, I'll be
very happy to give you

A practical demonstration
of the art of chess any time.

All right, I'll talk to don.

Hey, now that it's gonna be
just another chess game,

You wanna let the bet ride?

We bet on the winner of a
contest.

Now there's gonna be a contest.

You can knuckle under
if you want to.

Oh, I-I'll stick with it
all right.

No hand.

No hands!

I'd put my queen's
pawn to knight's pawn five,

Then you'd have to defend your
knight. Well, move it.

well, I'd move it
to queen two,

Then I'd go for a queen
to rook seven, sacrifice.

but you're down!
You're down a pawn!

never you mind.

Well, time the boss men
got some drinks.

now, when you take
those drinks out there,

You watch yourself.

A dollar a game is one thing,
this one's for 57 dollars,

So don't get fancy!

I wouldn't think of such
a thing.

Well, it's time you gentlemen
had some refreshments.

Here, sir?

Thank you.

Colonel?

Hmm? Oh, thank you.

What the devil is goin'
on there?

What is it, gates?

What's goin' on there?

There's a rattle snake in the
wood pile.

Scoobo, you watch this end,
I'll go get a broom.

I think I missed him.

My ma always told me the only
way to get a rattle snake

Is with a broom.

Something about the straw makes
them curl up an' die.

Well, I guess he got away.

Rattle snakes, you gotta watch
'em all the time.

Yeah.

rattle snake!

Now, it's still my move,
I believe.

Hold it, sir!

What's the matter now?

This castle has been
tampered with.

Well, it's in starting
position, how could it be?

I can see that.

But when the shootin' started,
it was one square out.

It's just where it belongs,
it never was.

Yes, it was!

Go back over the moves,
my dear colonel.

When did you move
that piece?

Lucas, I appeal to you,
was it there or was it not?

Look, to tell you the truth,
I don't remember.

It was there once, I saw it.

There you are, you see,
the man is a cheat!

You knave! You scape-gallows!

That castle is just where
it should be.

No, it is not, sir!

Just a moment.

Let's see how many of my pieces
you've managed to move

During this diversionary tactic.

How many of your pi-

I am a gentleman, sir! I am an
officer, and a man of honor!

And I am a knight, and a lord
of the realm.

I will not deign to do combat
with bare hands

Like some churlish slavey.
I choose weapons of honor.

Are you familiar, my dear
colonel, with the cold duel?

Naturally, sir.

Then you are aware, sir,
that that blow you struck

Comprised a challenge? And that
I have the choice of weapons!

Vamos!

Pa, aren't you gonna stop 'em?

The modern soldier is afraid,
is he,

To face ancient weapons? Ah!

Here's an ancient weapon, and
one that's full of honor.

The broad axe.

So, you steadfastly refuse to
do battle in a civilized way?

Very well, sir.

I tell you that I shall meet you
with cold steel

And no other way.

Your blade, sir.

Prithee. Wouldst thou
finally apologize?

Apologize? Me?

Do you admit, sir,
that you moved my castle?

Wouldst have me speak the lie

That should leap like a viper
from thy mouth? Never!

My patience is at an end, sir.

Now prepare to meet your death!

Prepared I have always been.

I have yet to meet
the better man.

Just hold it. Wait a minute.

Calm down. You know, I've been
thinking. I don't know too much

About chess so I didn't watch
the chess men, I just watched

Your hands and they were all
four visible at all times.

Even when you were served
your drinks,

I saw both your hands
during the whole thing.

The fact is I...Was watching
yours so closely,

There was another hand I didn't
watch, wasn't there, scoobo?

Well, I don't know what you
are talking about,

Why would I
move the chess men?

Well, I don't know, unless
you had, uh, something to gain.

Did you, scoobo?

Well, I might have moved it
accidentally.

And after the rattle snake story
you moved it back accidentally.

No, I knew he moved it, I
just wanted to avoid trouble.

Ah, now it all comes clear.

Remember the many times they
served us coffee and drinks?

Yes, of course.

That was-

At ease, corporal!

How long have you been
interfering in our games?

-A year.
-Six months.

Oh!

You just-

Why?

Well, we both happen
to like chess.

We had a couple of side
bets going.

Well, did it ever occur to
you to start your own game?

Well, that wouldn't be any
real challenge, playing one man.

No, the interesting part was
figurin out how they both think.

And then adjusting for
their mistakes.

Mistakes?

How dare you?

Figuring both their strategies
and then counteracting

With a minor piece on the
outskirts of the action.

Yeah, that takes plannin'.

Am I to infer that both of
you deem yourselves such masters

Of the game that you think you
can beat both of us?

At the same time.

In different games.

Drop those gun belts!

Nay, allow me!

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to watch a chess game
between both of you gentlemen.

The winner gets fired,
the loser gets dead.

But you can't kill a man
over a chess game.

What do you think I came
here to do?

Check mate.

That's-that's amazing.

Well, that's witchcraft!

I have never seen such
tactics.

Scoobo, how long would it
take you to teach him that?

Oh, about six months.

Gates, how about you?

How long would it take you to
teach don those kinda tactics?

Oh, maybe a little longer.

What?

Well, you see, your whole
approach to the game is wrong,

You play chess like it was
checkers or hopscotch.

Don chimera, six months
from this date

I challenge you to a
game of chess.

Well, consider that flung
gauntlet taken up.

A goodly joust with merry
hearts, and a stout company.

Adieu, mes amis. Adieu.

Golly, pa, I'd sure
like to do that.

Play chess?

No. Pick my own favorite time
to live in, like them.

Oh? When would you pick?

100 years from now.

Why then?

Well, just think!

No wood to cut, they'd grow it
in the right size,

And chickens lay eggs and
bring them right into the house.

Then you just save your ice so
that you have it in the summer

Time, and cows give milk in
mason jars and-

And leave it right in the ice
house. Oh, and pa, well, you-

You don't wash the dishes,
just eat them for dessert.

And no school.

Instead, you can learn
everything in the whole world

Just by reading a- a little
book with 16 pages in it.

Now wait a minute. Just where
do you learn to read?

Oh, well, there...Might be
a-a year or two of school.

Mm-hm.

Well, while you're figuring a
way around that school,

See if you can also figure a way
around that wood pile.