Original subtitles

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♪ ♪

Gordon Rogers: In order to understand how we got here,

you have to first understand the circumstance.

Man is not created equal.

Some of us are forced to claw our way

out of the lowest rungs of society.

- Mother: Sky. - Son: Sky.

- Mother: Pajaros, bird. - Son: Bird.

Mother: Sí.

Gordon: But that doesn't mean we're loved any less.

My mother, she loved me so much.

She had me believing I might actually be one of them.

A perfect husband with a perfect family

and a perfect house with a car and a newspaper subscription.

My mother gave me the courage

to claw my way out of those depths.

[reading in Spanish]

Gordon: Didn't matter who I was.

She made me believe I was destined for greatness.

- Claro, pero mas verde. - [laughs]

- [insects buzz and chirp] - ♪ ♪

- [insects buzz and chirp] - ♪ ♪

[mother screams]

[mother panting]

- Officer 1: Papers. - Mother: Sí, sí.

Officer 1: Papers, you got papers?

Mother: Sí, sí, paper, paper.

[insects buzz and chirp]

- Mama! - Mijo.

Officer 1: You're only off by about five years.

♪ ♪

No, no, no.

- Take the boy. - No, no, no.

[boy screams]

Mama!

[speaking Spanish]

[mother sobbing]

Gordon: That was the last time I ever saw my mother.

[mother sobbing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Cual es tu nombre?

♪ ♪

Officer 2: Hey, hello?

Name?

Officer 1: Mom back there called him Gordy or something.

Maybe his name's Gordon.

Officer 2: Gordon?

- That's a nice American name. - [chuckles]

Officer 1: Now we're gonna find him a nice American family.

Gordon: My name would be Gordon.

Gordon Rogers.

Hola, cóma estás, Señor Rogers?

We speak English here in America.

Next time I see youon the streets,

I'm gonna have you fucking deported.

--fucking deported.

Gordon: And my mission?

Goddamn American greatness.

[buzzing]

♪ "High Ball Stepper" by Jack White ♪

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We here at GTT Incorporated believe that the customer

is most important--well, that and the aliens.

Thank you.

If you have any questions, any questions at all,

feel free to swing on by,

as long as you have a nickel.

Actually, I do have one silly question, really.

Ma'am, pretty lady such as yourself,

ask me two questions.

[car idles]

Just curious, you're from around here, yes?

Why, yes, ma'am, I was born and raised

not a stone's throw from this here plot.

But my enterprise, my tours,

we span the entire state of Connecticut.

I have four boys working these parts.

You don't by any chance

happen to know of an Edward Boon, do you?

An Edward Boon?

Mabel Rogers: Yes, yes, do you?

He's my uncle, and we--

--we lost contact a long time ago.

I don't--I don't come by Southbury often.

No, I don't recall, um, ever crossing paths

with a--with a Boon, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

Thank you so much for everything.

Well, all right, then.

♪ ♪

Gordon: Truth is, Edward Boon

was nothing more than a local drunk.

Boon.

I told you I'd drop off the whiskey.

Yeah, well, I'm out now.

♪ ♪

Gordon: He would constantly threaten

to have the Suttons deported--

--despite Gilberto's reminders.

You know I'm not an illegal, right?

I was born a stone's throw in Waterbury.

♪ ♪

Pleasure.

Gordon: He was just a crop duster by trade.

♪ ♪

Gordon: A nobody.

♪ ♪

But he was her last resort.

[car approaching]

[crickets chirping]

Mabel: Excuse me.

Sorry, sir.

I'm trying to find my way back to Mystic.

You wouldn't happen to know the way?

Man: Keep to the left.

You'll be all right.

Mabel: Wonderful.

Thanks a bunch.

Man on radio:--badge and have this secret decoder.

Following each week's adventure, I'll send--

Man on radio:--far west in Missoula, Montana,

Ike and Interior Secretary McKay are welcomed

by Governor Harrison.

President taking the stump, calls for the election of

Republican Congress in November,

to make certain that his legislative program

is carried forward.

♪ ♪

Man on radio: An Ike rally at the Hollywood Bowl

highlights the California phase

of President Eisenhower's three-day, four-state--

[crickets chirping]

Mabel: Shit.

[door opens, creaks, and slams]

- Mabel: Gordo. - [door slams shut]

We weren't expecting you back until 10 or 11.

I would have prepared a lamb chop.

I was planning on preparing a lamb chop,

but I didn't expect you back until 11:00.

[coin spinning]

Darn Mrs. Anderson, she had her hair appointment,

and I--I forgot, of course.

Then she called,

and you know how she is with her chronic anxiety.

It's silly, really, because you weren't even late.

Gordon: You weren't at Mrs. Anderson's.

I called Anderson's, that was my first call.

My second, third, fourth, and fifth calls were to hospitals.

And then I go and ask Abbie,

and she said she didn't know where you'd gone

because you didn't tell her.

Mabelline, how do you think that looks, huh?

My car is sitting in the driveway

and my wife's car is nowhere to be found?

I mean, how does that look on me?

[coin spinning]

Just tell me where you were.

[Mabelline sighs]

No, no, just--just--just tell me where you were.

Okay, then come here, come here.

Come here.

Come here, come--come here.

Come here.

Let's see if some other guy shot a bullet in my wife.

Maybe that's where you were, huh?

- Maybe that's where you were. - Gordo, stop it.

Abbie: Hello?

[Gordon chuckles]

Come here, come here, come here, come on.

What, are you thirsty?

- You want some water? - Yes, please.

Come on, come on, get her a glass of water.

[crickets chirping]

Gordon: You do your homework, all of it?

- Abbie: All of it. - Gordon: Oh, good, good.

[water running]

[footsteps]

Thank you.

Gordon: There, there, there you go.

All right, go on back to your room.

She wasn't off doing what you think she was doing.

Excuse me?

Abbie: I said she wasn't off with some Tommy

doing what you think she was doing.

And how would you know anything about that?

Well, she loves you very much,

and I believe there's a birthday coming up.

Oh yeah, whose birthday?

Well, your birthday--Daddy.

[crickets chirping]

- You shouldn't-- - Mabelline, is that true?

You were off on errands for my birthday?

I mean, you can check the car.

Surely you'll find some supplies, ribbons and such.

It would be a shame to ruin

such a thoughtful thing, though, right?

Gordon: Yeah, well, my birthday's not till next month.

It's not often you're away from the house on the weekend.

[crickets chirping]

So--so you were in on this from the start?

Abbie: Well, of course.

Mabel: Don't blame Abbie for not letting on.

I--she--I asked her to keep it a secret.

[crickets chirping]

I come home into my house

and you ladies are conspiring against me.

No no no, that's not--that's not--

family doesn't do that.

Families don't do that to each other.

If my mother would have been here,

she would have been appalled.

And my mother was a great woman, a great woman.

But my mother had this--this great saying.

Earn the respect of the family

and only then can you earn the respect of the world.

- [chuckles] - ♪ ♪

- How about that--huh? - ♪ ♪

Oh, there it is.

Abigail, now it's time for me to earn your respect.

♪ ♪

So get on your knees.

♪ ♪

Come on, help her on down, Mabelline, help her down.

♪ ♪

This is for your own good.

This is for your development as a young lady.

So on your knees.

On your knees or I will send you back.

I will send you right back tonight.

- I'll help you down. - No.

Don't touch me.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Now repent.

♪ ♪

Gordon: Mabelline, leave her alone.

[footsteps]

♪ ♪

Gordon: Mabel.

I really feel like we made a lot of progress tonight.

I feel like we're really close.

Close to what?

♪ ♪

To unity, to some real family unity, you know?

♪ ♪

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to my birthday surprise.

♪ ♪

[Mabel sighs]

♪ ♪

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There's an invisible war going on around--

♪ ♪

--our neighborhoods all across America.

[rumbling]

Glennie: If you're going to kill us,

just kill us now.

It isn't the aliens, is it?

Gordon: No, honey, no.

Aliens are nothing to worry about.

♪ ♪

- Good night. - 'Night.

Gordon: My wife was meddlesome.

[rumbling and buzzing]

[crickets chirping]

Glennie: They're back.

Gordon: The aliens are nothing to worry about, I told her.

Which is partly true.

[rumbling]

[Glennie gasps]

Gordon: My wife was bored.

But something had to be done.

[birds chirping]

[bicycle whirring]

[metallic banging]

Gordon: Good morning, family.

- [banging on pan] - Good morning.

- [banging on pan] - Happy Sunday indeed.

Come on, rise and shine.

We're going on a little family adventure today.

So go on and get dressed.

Come on, get dressed.

♪ ♪

Gordon: I gotta say, it really warms my heart

seeing us as a family together like this.

♪ ♪

Gordon: Mabel, you got that look in your eye.

You want to know where you're headed.

I guarantee it's something you're itching to see.

Oh ho ho, that I know.

That is a fact--now, that's a fact.

Hey, hey, would you ladies also indulge me

in putting these over your eyes?

Mabel: You're really going the distance.

Oh, trust me, it's gonna be worth it.

Excited.

♪ ♪

[crow cawing]

Gordon: Are we having fun or what?

Joseph Crosby: Sir?

Ladies, just--just wait there for me.

I'll just be a--a minute.

Joe: Are you a believer?

'Cause I know one when I sees one.

Name is Gordon.

People call me Gordo.

Gordo, Joseph, Joseph Crosby.

Gordon: Yeah, yeah.

Let me--let me introduce you to, uh--

Come on, watch your head.

There you go, dear, watch out.

Ah, there you go.

This is my daughter, Abbie.

Hello, Abbie.

- Yeah, she's adopted. - Oh, that's lovely.

That's just--that's just lovely.

[whispering] Mabel, come on.

Watch your head.

♪ ♪

Gordon: Watch your head, there you go.

And this--is my lovely wife, Mabelline.

This way, this way, honey.

Hi Mabelline.

♪ ♪

Well, uh, just this way, ladies, right this way.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Joe: I give you the Sutton Farm Abduction.

Gordon: Careful, careful, careful.

And--there you go.

[chuckles]

Mabel: What is this?

Well, I do believe that this is gonna answer a lot of questions

floating around the Rogers household as of late.

Abbie?

- "Aliens..." - [chuckles]

All right, this is it.

Mabel: Oh my goodness.

Joe: Oh, no, ma'am, we can't go any further.

Oh, it's okay, Joe, it's all right, it's all right.

- You discovered this? - Yes, I did indeed.

Impressive, is it not, Abbie?

Abbie, this is the very site of the Great Indian War of 1636.

Lasted two years, bloody, bloody battle.

But we won in the end, of course.

I've heard about this place.

Oh, yeah, where'd you hear of it?

♪ ♪

Lots of Indian girls in the orphanage.

♪ ♪

They said it was beauty as far as the eye could see.

♪ ♪

Yeah.

[birds chirping]

What's gonna happen to this place?

What do you mean?

Abbie: The land, the house, all this corn.

Probably become government property, I suppose.

That doesn't seem fair.

Gordon: Doesn't seem fair, what do you mean?

It's not the government's to take.

Mabelline, what do you say we go home

and give the car a nice wash?

Get rid of the dust.

Put on our swim costumes and have a ball, huh?

Gordon: Mabelline.

What's that?

- Mabel: Gordo! - [laughing]

Hey, hey, ho ho, easy now, easy now.

[shrieking]

Gordo, I swear, don't you dare.

[laughing]

Gordon: I like when you run.

Hey, Abbie girl, look at your mom getting all hosed down.

Hey, come on out here, Abbie girl.

Now, that's one swell family, wouldn't you say?

♪ ♪

- Gordon: Come on. - ♪ ♪

- Gordon: Have a sponge. - ♪ ♪

- [laughing] - Gordon: How's it feel?

Abbie: A little cold.

♪ ♪

[phone rings]

[shrieking]

- ♪ ♪ - [laughing]

- [shrieking] - Don't you dare!

That's enough, that's enough!

- ♪ ♪ - [birds chirping]

Here, here, here, finish it up.

- ♪ ♪ - [birds chirping]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

[phone continues ringing]

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

Yep.

Woman: Sir, I have an Officer Joseph Randall for you.

You know it's Sunday.

Woman: I know, sir.

He says it's urgent.

- Go ahead, put him on. - [ringtone]

Joe: Hiya, Gordo, so sorry to bother you on a Sunday.

It's fine, Joe, it's fine.

Joe: Look, I don't want to get wrapped up in family affairs.

It's no one's place to tell a man what's concerning

and what isn't.

Joe, Joe, just spill it, you're killing me here.

This isn't the first time your missus visited the Sutton farm.

♪ ♪

Okay.

- [shrieking] - Mabel: Don't you dare.

That's enough, that's enough!

♪ ♪

She knows about Edward Boon, Gordy.

♪ ♪

Joe: I don't know how, but she does.

Okay, okay.

♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

- ♪ ♪ - [birds chirping]

- ♪ ♪ - [birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

Gordon: Fucking housewives.

[birds chirping]

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