Original subtitles

VOICES IN DISTANCE: Six, five, four, three, two, one.

CLOCK BEEPS Happy New Year!

New year, new me.

Sleep hygiene is out the window, but tidy space, tidy mind.

Let me just stay inside and clean,

because guess what's outside? Men. And men leads to sex,

and we're not doing sex any more.

No. No, we are not.

But why did Tom text me?

He must miss me. Nope! Doesn't matter. No more men.

New Year's resolution one - fuck all men.

Not literally, obviously.

As that kind of behaviour has landed me in a bag of trouble.

Moving forward. A...

I'll only be talking to men who are attached and thus unavailable.

B - if I do speak to men who are single,

just don't...don't have sex with them.

C - no more Guy.

Never again.

PHONE BEEPS

Resolution two...

Hmm.

Cut your phone screen time down by at least half.

Hi, guys. We're out on our country walk. Say hi, everyone.

Tune!

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear

For Auld Lang Syne.

Better to be in here than out there.

New year, new me.

This isn't a resolution, this is a...revolution.

Hmm.

Babe. Stop.

Stop it!

Resolution three - better vibes, in general,

across all elements of your life and day.

Look, all of my best friends are having a nice time.

I can, too.

Happy New Year to me.

So, Ted, how was the rest of your Crimbo?

Crimbo? Who says that? Stop it!

Do not approach him like that. You know what?

It's probably fine. This is all very fine.

What happened at Christmas was a drunken slip up.

We can just ignore it and go back to being friends.

Ugh! This is gonna be so awkward. Fuck!

No, calm down. It's fine. You're fine. Everything's...

Hey!

PHONE BUZZES

Well, I hate Daddy's new girlfriend, too, but we...

Gina, I have an idea and... Oh! I'll call you back.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to interrupt. Oh, it's fine.

You wait until the man you love starts loving someone new,

that's when the heartbreak really sets in.

That won't happen. Tom definitely isn't the kind of guy

to jump from girlfriend to girlfriend...

Remember your resolutions! No more men.

Oh, thank you for coming in over Christmas, by the way. Mm.

How was the office? I mean, quiet, I presume.

Um... Y... Mm-hm, yeah.

It was quiet and, uh... It was quiet and...

MAN GROANING

Uneventful.

Sorry.

Uh, this idea.

Oh. OK. So,

"New Year's Resolutions or New Year's Revolutions -

"Exploring through each

"of my own resolutions how we could make or use

"the hopefulness of the New Year to inspire us

"to make systemic revolutionary change."

And, and I created this... Can I stop you there?

It's fantastically contemporary.

So make it, make it pacy and fun and accessible.

OK. Yes. Oh, Gina, I will not let you down.

Thank you.

Darcy. Hmm? She's letting me write it.

Write what? Uh, the resolutions article I messaged you about. Come on.

Oh, that's great.

You all right?

Yes, Queenie, I'm fine. I'm working.

One of my New Year's resolutions is

to heighten my productivity by 30%. So,

maybe you should get started on that piece.

All right. All right, well... Lunch, though? Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Let's just get our heads down till then. OK.

Don't let Ted be in there. Don't let Ted be in there.

Don't let Ted be.. SHE GROANS

Mm-hm. All right.

Let's get the first encounter post-smash over and done with,

and let's keep it chill

and let's keep it breezy.

OK.

Happy New Year.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, you too.

Oh, OK. Fucking's fine, but touching is not. Got it.

How was the rest of your Christmas? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was... It, it was good.

Sorry, uh, this is, this is Jess.

She, she came in to do a-a workshop on unconscious bias.

She'll be doing a few throughout the day, you should, erm,

you should definitely try and check it out, if you get there.

I know you're in the office, Ted,

but is that how you introduce your wife?

No. Um, sorry.

OK. Erm, cool. It's...

Uh, it was good to catch up. Yeah, you too. I'm gonna go and... OK.

I'm gonna go and do some work.

Uh, should we? Who's that girl?

Who?

Oh. N-No-one.

No-one. Uh, no, she's a colleague. Uh, I can... It's happened again,

hasn't it? What has? No. No!

I wouldn't have thought she was your type.

No, sh-she's not... I... Jess.

Je...

Why wasn't he wearing a ring?

Did I miss him doing a wife drop? Why did he...

I would have never had sex with him if I'd known.

You see! This is why we don't fuck our friends,

because now, we can't be friends.

Well, in the words of the great Vybz Kartel,

"As one gone, a next one born."

Hey, stranger.

You good, bro?

Bro?

Babe, get in the car. Is that her?

This must be that big bitch whose big,

size 18 knickers were in your glovebox, yeah? Babe...

Why is she bringing my knickers into it? Please, please, please. Baby, please.

I don't know this girl. Let's get back in the car. No? Come on.

I stopped being some silly little girl

a long time ago. I'm your wife!

When he said things were complicated,

I didn't realise they were still together.

All right, all right, all right! Oh, don't you dare. Yeah, right.

You big Kala bitch.

Look at you.

Coming over to our car in broad daylight,

flirting with my man in front of my face?

Just because you can't get a man doesn't mean you can take mine.

All right, let's talk about this at home, man. Come on. Don't touch me!

Harlot is a deep pit.

An adulterous woman is a narrow well.

OK! Bit harsh.

The home-wrecker strikes again.

There she goes.

So, Ted is married.

It's not as complicated with his wife as Adi told me it was.

What do these married men want from me?

Or am I the problem?

SHE SIGHS

PHONE BEEPS

I hope you're OK, but I hope you've learned a lesson from this.

Oh, Queenie. Drama again? Anyway,

looking forward to brunch tomorrow.

It would be good to see you in person.

I need your advice for once.

See? This is why you shouldn't fuck too close to home.

PHONE CLATTERS

Oh. I am the problem.

No.

BANGING

Rupert and Nell aren't back yet.

Open up, open up, open up. Sh! Shit. Ugh.

Come on, Queenie!

Guy, what do you want? Oh, there you are.

Open the door, sexy lady.

No. Thank you.

WHISPERS: Fuck.

You what? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

You don't miss this?

Come on. BANGS ON DOOR

Stop! Stop! Let's get it on. Stop! Stop it! Stop!

Thank you. Fucking hell. Ah!

Oh, have you got any food? I'm starving! Fucking hell! Stop. Shush.

Just shut up! Guy!

Stop it! Stop, stop! Stop touching things.

Who's your daddy? Wait. Who is your daddy?

From what I remember, a very nice man.

Slightly uninterested in me, though. Hey!

Hey, can you just... Hey, no, stop.

Can you get out? Cos I'm about to go to sleep, OK? Just...

Oh, come here. Oh, my gosh. Guy, seriously, stop it. I mean it.

Oh, I love it when you play hard to get.

Come on, I want to make you wet.

Oh, my gosh. OK, uh, how about... How about...

How about we do a little bit of role reversal?

Oh. Yeah. Yeah? Love that. OK.

What are you doing?

Uh, why would you do that?

To get you to pay attention. We are not having sex,

I already told you, not any more.

OK.

How about now? No, no. Stop, stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

All you men do is bring me stress, man.

What are you, my moody wife?

You're not actually married, are you?

Don't be silly.

Close your eyes. What?

Just do it. Open your mouth.

Fuck, yeah!

Swallow that and sober up a bit. You can sleep on the sofa,

but I mean it. You are not seeing me again.

Aw, Queenie, come on!

Queenie.

Come on, it's lonely down there.

Guy, can you just be fucking for real?

You just go downstairs, man.

Aw, come on, Queenie. Look, you know you want this.

This hat is new. Grrr! Nope, nope, nope, nope. What?

No, no, no. Where you going? I'm going downstairs.

What the fuck?

That better count as a completed resolution.

BANGING ON DOOR

BANGING

BANGING ON DOOR

My God, you look like shit.

Don't tell me you've forgotten. Brunch.

Shit. I tried calling you, but you didn't pick up.

Yeah, uh, I think my phone was on silent.

Look, I-I didn't really manage to get that much sleep, Cass.

Would you mind if we did this another day? No.

I'll not hear it. We are going to brunch.

I did not make the pilgrimage all the way from North London

to be rejected at your door because you are hungover, or whatever.

CASS SIGHS

Everything OK?

SHE EXHALES SHAKILY

Not really.

Why? What's happened?

I haven't heard from him since New Year's Eve.

This is the guy that you're seeing?

Yes, Queenie.

I feel like he's breadcrumbing me.

He gives me a bit of affection and then he takes it away

and then he gives it again. He's good at replying to my messages

and then he ignores me for days.

I don't know where I stand half the time.

Yeah, well, Cassandra, have you spoken to him about this?

We were talking about kids at New Year's.

Look, uh...

If he can't see how amazing you are,

he's not really worth crying over, is he?

Yeah. You're right. Yeah.

Anyway, we'll get into it properly at brunch. Go get ready.

DOOR OPENS

SHE GROANS Oh, God, I forgot about him. "Him"?

I thought you weren't doing the whole "avoiding your feelings

"by pursuing meaningless sex on dating apps" thing any more.

INTERNALLY: It just rolls off her tongue.

SHE SCOFFS Yeah, well...

It's not my fault, actually.

He turned up in the middle of the night, so...

FROM UPSTAIRS: Queenie. Get up here, now.

I'm hungry and horny.

Mostly horny. QUEENIE SIGHS

Just let me go, Let me go and get rid of him. Wait. What...?

Trust me, he is not worthy of an introduction.

No... No, no, no, no, no. What? What, Cassandra?

Queenie,

why the fuck are you fucking my boyfriend?

Uh... Your boyfriend?

Of course this has happened. Of course she's done this.

Sorry, done what?

Do you think I knew that he was your boyfriend? Shut up.

Don't you go anywhere, you pathetic worm.

Cassandra, I'm sorry, but I-I didn't know. STAMMERING: You...

You know that I... I told you to shut up. But you can't.

Because you can never do what you're meant to do.

It's not enough for you to fuck up your own life,

you have to bring everyone else's down with you.

No wonder nobody wants you, Queenie.

Cassandra, that...

Anyway, I won't intrude on you two any longer.

Have a nice time.

RAIN PATTERS, THUNDER RUMBLES

SHE SOBS

S-So, uh, I've obviously... DOOR OPENS

..fucked up here.

I settled for love...

Cassandra is right. Nobody wants me.

Not properly, anyway.

They want my body, sure, but...

..the rest?

Not so much.

The last person that loved me wanted to let me go.

And called me a flower

But still broke my heart... SHE BUZZES DOORBELL

You picked all my petals...

Hello?

Uh... It's me.

Can I come up?

Tom?

Hi. Uh, no.

No, thank you. Not today.

Uh, fine, could you...

Could you, um...

Could you at least come down, please? Could you...?

Could you at least buzz me in?

SHE SIGHS

It's raining.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What is going on? What you doing here? I'm sorry, I didn't know

that I was gonna turn up here. It's just that it...

It was raining. It was raining, and I... And I was walking,

and before I knew it, I-I-I was here and... OK. Right, I...

Like, you need to go. No. Wait, wait. I just...

SHE EXHALES

I just, I have to say something first.

OK.

I... I-I don't know how these last few months have been for you.

They've been bad for me.

Bad, bad.

Eh, you can't just show up here like that, OK? It's not fair.

I know, I know.

And you know, I... SHE SIGHS

Tom, I know I didn't tell you all of my stuff, but...

..I promise I told you what I could.

OK?

And I'm so far away from where I was when I was with you.

I don't even recognise myself.

You know, we used to speak about marriage and babies, and...

SHE SIGHS

Just at the time, I didn't think I could do it.

I was scared.

SOFTLY: Really, really scared.

And now I'm even more scared.

I'm scared that I lost you and the marriage and the babies

and everything we used to talk... OK, Queenie, Queenie...

No, no, wait... Wait, no, hold on. Just let me land, OK? Because...

..I've been just so lonely.

I've been having all this, like, random sex with these guys that...

Fucking random guys that treat my body like it's not attached

to a person that has feelings.

And I-I think that's...that's my fault as well,

because I just go along with it. I don't even say anything,

but that's... It's only because I'm trying to feel the way I felt

when I was with you, and...my point is...

SHE SNIFFS

My... My point is, is that I miss you.

I miss you so much.

And I'm scared of who I'm becoming without you.

I d... You... Just... No, no, no.

Right, you... You got to go.

You're not listening to me, I'm... I am.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

You realise that is the first time you've ever apologised.

Like, after everything.

Like, pushing me away...

Like mood swings, lashing out at me.

That is the first time you've ever said sorry.

OK, do you...?

Do you remember at your parents'? Yeah...

At your mum's birthday... Mm-hm.

Before the cake.

When I had a bad day, and you asked me why,

and I couldn't say.

Well...

Uh...

SOFTLY: Queenie... I-I...

I mean, look. Do you know what? It's too late anyway.

OK? It was too late months ago. I mean, I thought you got this.

No. You sent that text at Christmas, and it had a kiss on the end.

I know. All right. Jesus Christ. Look, I-I knew you'd read into that.

You even knew what I was gonna read into...? Sorry to interrupt.

Is everything OK, Tom?

I didn't want you to find out like this, obviously. I...

It's fine.

I hope she's not too much for you.

Look, I'm sorry, OK?

Reading about it, turning...

DOOR OPENS

Allowing myself to fade... PHONE CHIMES

..in the story about him

Kiss me in chapters

Love me in writing

I'll be your coat in the thunder and lightning...

Ted.

Ted. I don't have time for this, Queenie, all right?

What do you mean? W-Where are you going? Why are you ignoring me?

Queenie.

My office, please.

Do you know? I'm really sorry.

I know I need to get that piece to you, and I'm...

I'm almost done, actually. Queenie, stop.

This is Juliet from HR.

Hi, Juliet from HR.

Is everything all right?

Queenie, this crush you've had on Ted,

it's... It's completely inappropriate.

This is the workplace!

Something I feel that I've had to repeatedly remind you of

these last few weeks.

A...

A crush on Ted?

Well, he's...

He's gone to HR with a serious allegation

about inappropriate behaviour.

Maybe it's best that you take some time away from work

while we look into it. You're firing me?

No, not firing...

Look, Juliet, uh, will talk you through the investigation procedure.

Uh, no, no, but, Gina, you know me. You...

You know me! I... OK, I know I've been late,

and, yeah, I've... I've been messing up, but I...

I mean, he's... You... You keep your benefits.

This might be a good time for you to look into the...

..therapy the company offers.

Why are you believing him?

Why are you believing him over me?

You'll be notified of next steps by letter as soon as

the investigation procedure is under way.

BACKGROUND NOISE BECOMES DULL

Fine.

DISTANTLY: What you doing?

What's happened?

Queenie. Hello? BACKGROUND SNAPS BACK INTO FOCUS

SOFT ACOUSTIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

Come upstairs and I'll

Show you where all my

Where my demons hide from you

Just look at who I have become...

"You're too much, Queenie."

"Maybe sex isn't the best way "to feel better about yourself..."

"I don't have time for this, Queenie, all right?"

"This is the workplace.

"Something I feel that I've had to repeatedly remind you of..."

SOFTLY: "I didn't want you to find out like this, obviously."

"You're lucky I let this likkle girl into my home."

GRAINY VINYL RECORD RUNS

"No wonder nobody wants you, Queenie."

..hate myself...

SHE BREATHES QUICKLY

Unfold me

And teach me

How to be...

Mum!

I think she needs therapy.

What you know about therapy?

Nobody in our family needs therapy. I know, but look at her though...

She just needs to take a couple of deep breaths.

Come on. Queenie, breathe.

Breathe, Queenie.

SHE BREATHES QUICKLY

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