Original subtitles

Grandma, Grandma, this might be the best turkey I've ever tasted.

You have truly outdone yourself, Mother. Cheers!

Cheers. Cheers. I try, I try. Woo! Anything for my babies.

Ah, my woman, dat. You know?

Ooh, Wilfred! Not in front of the children.

Perhaps I can show you all a little TikTok dance

I've been working on after dinner?

Yeah. Of course. Yes, Diana. Show 'em the moves! 100%.

Wonderful, wonderful. I'll pop a song on, shall I? Yeah!

Yes? OK.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Look at you now. Me can do the ClipClop, you know?

You can? No, TikTok. Tik.

No, Clip, ClipClop. Clip... TikTok? Yeah, Clip. TikTok!

THEY LAUGH AND BANTER

RECORD CRACKLES

DOORBELL RINGS

Why don't you get the door, Queenie?

Who is it? It's your mother.

What's the matter? Open the door, Queenie.

SILENT SCREAM

Again?

Just got to get through Christmas.

VOICEOVER: Another year, another Hanukkah.

How is everyone always so happy this time of year?

I need to cheer up. Where's Cassandra's dad when you need him?

Oh. Right.

You deserve a treat.

How is he always so nice?

I made these myself.

And how is his cooking so terrible?

Right. OK, I'll... Well, I'll stick to psychiatry.

Mm. Yeah. So, how are things? Still no word from Tom?

Three months of space and no contact.

It took me a while to wrap my head around it, but...

..it's done.

And... Go on.

Sometimes, like, like tonight, I feel OK.

I'm busy, and I'm social.

But other times, like when I get in on my own,

everything's just, it's so overwhelming.

Queenie, look.

Your mid-twenties are rough.

It's when Cassandra's mother left and everything just fell apart.

So you've got to try and...

You've got to try and sort of enjoy the journey.

Yeah, and crucially, never forget,

the most important relationship you'll ever have

is the one you have with yourself.

You know?

Yeah.

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

Shit, something's burning.

Who's Cassandra on the phone to?

Is everything OK? He's not answering his phone.

Well, he's probably stuck at work.

Shall we grab some latkes and judge your neighbours like always?

What do you think of this dress?

Mm. Er, it's not your best dress... He bought it.

It's your baddest dress, cos you are a bad bitch.

Mm, stop it. It's terrible.

It was a gift to mark our one-month anniversary.

He said no words can describe how being with me feels,

as the dress speaks for itself.

Hmm.

Should I be concerned?

Well, just... Have you had sex yet?

No, we have not had sex yet. What?

That's not to say we haven't done other things.

What things, like you've dry-humped? Queenie!

PHONE BUZZES

No, I can't fucking believe this. He's bailed.

Well, you... But look, there's no rush to show him off,

just like there's no rush to have sex.

I actually love how slow we're taking it, actually. It feels right.

It's, it's like you tell me from time to time,

you don't need a man to complete you.

Why does this feel so familiar?

Summer, in between first and second year at uni, we sat right here

but you were crying over a different boy.

Adidas Andrew?

Oh. How could I forget?

Oh, my gosh, that guy could wear a tracksuit.

Adidas Andrew and his allergies.

No, they weren't allergies, I don't think. What?

Come on. It wasn't pollen he was sniffing.

What?

It's all right.

Don't worry about me.

My Guy will show eventually.

What about you, my darling?

In my albeit fledgling psychological diagnosis,

this Tom situation must remind you of your mum.

Abandonment issues much?

VOICEOVER: Always good to be reminded.

KNOCKING AT DOOR

KNOCKING BECOMES THUMPING

ON LAPTOP: You're not a time traveller, and neither am I.

If Rupert offers me eggnog one more time...

That's not the life I want. I thought you'd know this by...

RAPID KNOCKING AT DOOR

Fancy a festive fuck? What are you doing here?

Well, your weird housemate let me in. I am rock hard and ready.

I've just about recovered from last time.

You know, you should have messaged, because I'm a bit busy, actually.

Doing what?

Stuff.

Well, I can think of something you should be doing.

What? Come on, Queenie, I've just, I've just come all this way.

Look, I have really, really missed you.

I'll even stay.

OK, um...

..could you just be a bit more gentle this time?

What, like, like this?

VOICEOVER: OK, maybe he just needs to be told what to do.

Yeah.

Well, I hope you've shaved your legs this time.

Spoke too soon.

Climb on.

DOORBELL RINGS

Frank. Yo, Big Q, what you telling me?

Er, what's up?

Hi. Yeah, uh, sorry, I was just on my way to a job

and you were en route, so... So, er, yeah, this pen.

You left it in my van from when I helped you move.

I just thought I'd, er, return it. Er...

Yeah, I don't use green pens and that, so, er, couldn't teef it.

VOICEOVER: What's going on here?

Thanks, Frank.

Look. Kyazike was saying Christmas might be a lot for you this year.

If only they knew. First one back home in a while and that, so...

Look, just bell me, innit? If it gets too much.

There'll be room at ours.

That's, um...

Thanks, Frank.

Right, so, er, yeah.

Don't let me find that pen in my van again,

or I might have to give it back to you.

In a bit, yeah?

What was that all about?

Friends, it's good to welcome you on this Christmas night,

when we share our precious memories of God's work for us.

Angels came down...

You trying to kill me, woman? How much perfume you need?

Wilfred, don't budda start on me tonight.

Right before Jesus' birthday?

They tell Mary and Joseph

and the others gathered there

the wonderful message that has come from God.

Will you two stop texting?

I got one eye on you and one eye on God.

Let us pray to God for the coming of the kingdom as Jesus taught us.

Our father who art in Heaven...

VOICEOVER: Dear Lord. Hello. Long time, no speak.

It's been a busy and eventful time, as you've probably seen. Sorry.

If you forgive me my sins,

how do you feel about sending me a sign?

My friends are great. My family are...

Well, they're my family and they're here,

but I still feel so lonely all the time.

Like, to the point where I keep having sex -

sorry again - with guys I don't really care about,

just to feel something.

But is it actually me, Lord? Do I push everyone away?

Am I just gonna end up sad and alone like my m... Queenie.

Your mum's here.

What is she doing here?

Hi, Queenie.

That's the last time I'm praying to anyone.

One, and I ahead! Ah!

I never should have taught you my tricks.

Look, Veronica. She mashing me up.

That's my pickney.

And that's another round of dominoes with Diana.

Diana, make yourself useful and hang up the new curtain.

Hmm? You see that thing in your hand?

Go upon Google and type in "How to make yourself useful in the house."

LAUGHTER

DRAMA PLAYS ON LAPTOP

VOICEOVER: It's like they're laughing

even louder than usual just to wind me up.

TEXT ALERT

KNOCK AT DOOR

Just... Just checking in, see how you are.

There's ackee and saltfish for you when you're ready.

I'm not hungry.

How's the writing going? It's all good, Sylvie.

OK.

Well, I'm here,

if you ever...

I'm your mother, and I care about you.

Mother is an action.

SHE WHISPERS: OK.

I don't know what to say to her, Maggie.

It's her first Christmas without the boyfriend.

Maybe ask her about that?

I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to ask her

to support you in court yet, sis.

No... No, I'm not gonna do that.

No, she's been through enough.

Don't want her reliving it.

Dealing with him is killing me. I don't want that for her.

But you don't have to do it on your own.

I want to show her that I can... I can fix things.

None of this has been your fault, Sylvie.

Roy was a master manipulator.

Duppy know who fi frighten.

I just...

I don't want Queenie to end up like me.

Oh, Sylv.

Queenie is a brave girl.

She'll be all right.

Being brave isn't the same thing as being all right.

Let us pray.

Mm. Dear Lord, bless this house and those in it.

Bless us, Lord. Bless the food and the hands that did prepare it.

My hands, Lord.

We thank you for bringing us together once more

to celebrate your birthday.

Even Sylvie with her mawga self.

Bless our family back home. We hope to see them soon.

Bless the church,

apart from Brother Michael and him big Mercedes.

Bless the street and all those who reside here,

but the devil have Albert at number 24

with him bad, awful pickney. Or the girl... OK!

Amen.

Amen.

MUSIC: She's Royal by Tarrus Riley

Woo-wee!

No, I never been someone shy

Until I seen your eyes...

Oh, Maggie, not now.

Still I had to try, yeah

Oh, yes, let me get my words right and then approach you...

Uh, no, no, no.

Woman, I'll treat you like a man is supposed to

You'll never have to cry, no

I know everyone can relate

And when they find that special someone

And she's royal...

Come join us. Queenie. Queenie!

I want her in my life

I never knew anyone

So one of a kind, no...

What's the matter, Queenie?

I'm fine. I just, um, I just need some water.

She has the qualities of a queen...

Queenie? Queenie?

Where on earth are you going?

Work emergency. I got to go. Just tell everyone I said bye, OK?

VOICEOVER: "Come and join us, Queenie," says the great abandoner.

"Being brave isn't the same thing as being all right."

No, it isn't, Sylvie, but you wouldn't know that

because you've never been brave, have you?

Merry Christmas, you.

Ted, you scared me.

How comes you're here?

Oh, er, Gina called me in.

She thought the socials had been hacked,

but really, it turns out that I was just pocket-tweeting. Ah. Yeah. You?

I'm, er, I'm covering the Christmas sport.

Yeah, someone's got to do it,

and, you know, good excuse to leave the dinner table, so...

You have a nice Christmas?

Does anybody actually have a nice Christmas? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, funny time of year, right? It is what it is.

Well, I'd rather be looking at you

than watching my dad burn the sprouts, so...

Well, watch me long enough

and I'm sure I'll figure out a way to set fire to something somehow.

Wow. How hot do you think you are?

Yeah, you, er, you want to see what I got for Christmas?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

This is just what I've been waiting for.

Well, as long as I'm not carrying you home again.

Yeah, well, you loved it. Yeah? Yeah.

Meet me by the sofas in T-minus five minutes.

Oh, it's, it's gonna take me at least T-minus ten

to sort this out, so...

Fine.

You're worth the wait.

Was that a vibe?

Or am I so starved of actual nice, normal male attention

that I've dreamt a vibe up?

Hey, what do you reckon? Should we get Jean over here?

No. Oh, come on. I want to hear about her cats. Stop.

I'm gonna call her. Ted, stop. Oi, Je... Stop...Stop it.

What? Stop. Come on. Leave her alone.

What do you think?

Do you know what I was gonna say? What was you gonna say?

Yeah, I was gonna say... What was you gonna say?

I was gonna say it suits you. Thank you.

Almost as good as it looks on me. Almost.

No, it does look good on you, but I have a question.

Yeah, go for it. Fire.

Do you own anything else? All I ever see you wear is tweed.

Well, it makes mornings easier, doesn't it?

Your tracksuits and... Mm, yes, I own lots of other...

Mm! Oh, shit. It's all right. I'll get it. Here. Mm-mm.

Watch the jacket. My fault. Oh. No, it's all good. No, no, it's...

Sorry, uh... Um, it's probably a bad idea. Sorry.

No, no, I'm sorry. Um...

No, it's. I should just... Uh, yeah, OK.

I should... Yeah. Yeah, no.

I'm gonna... I'll be back. OK? OK.

Yeah.

VOICEOVER: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Right, you need to go home. Ted is a colleague.

Ted is a friend. Look at me. Eyes up here, Queenie.

We do not fuck our friends.

Or maybe...we do?

HAND-DRYER SWITCHES ON

Oh, I'm so happy I'm finally getting to see these.

Oh, yeah? Hold on, let me just...

No, no, I'll keep it on. Mm.

VOICEOVER: Why's he doing that? Do I stare back?

THUD

VOICEOVER: Whoa. Like a cucumber.

MOANING FROM TOILET

HAND-DRYER WHIRS

SHE TYPES

HE GROANS LOUDLY

Sorry, I, I couldn't help it. I just...

I don't think you really know how sexy you are.

VOICEOVER: Ooh. If I had a penny, or an orgasm,

for every time a man said that to me,

I would be very rich and very happy.

I should, um...

I should probably go before anybody comes.

The only one who came was you.

HE LAUGHS

Yeah, fair. I'll, er, I'll make it up to you next time.

Yeah?

Er...

Sorry, I just, um... I just need to get my jacket.

Yeah. Thanks.

All right. Um... Yeah. OK.

That's probably not the best idea I've had. Or the best sex.

Am I so lacking in attention that toilets are OK now?

Wait till I tell Darcy Ted is packing, though.

TEXT ALERT

Wait, what?

Was this supposed to be for me?

What should I say back?

This is one for The Corgis, because...

..I'm spun.

Ah, it's a Christmas miracle.

What do you think of them?

Aren't they a bit young for me?

Not at all.

PHONE BUZZES

What?

Hmm. Think they'll get back together?

I don't know how good that would be.

For either of them.

Why would he send her that?

Exes always wanna try a ting at Christmas.

I bet he wants her back.

Yeah, probably.

You think she'll go back?

I hope not, but you never know with Queenie, you know.

She deserves better, man.

PHONE BUZZES

VOICE NOTE: I think you need to process his first contact in a while

before you respond. Just take a minute

to observe how it's made you feel.

By the way, thank you so much for supporting me at my dad's party.

I don't say this often, but I should.

You're a great friend, Queenie.

Your turn, hon.

I told you he was clever.

LAUGHTER

Fantastic. 45 points. Good comeback, Guy.

Oh, you know me, always full of surprises.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0