Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language,

discriminatory attitudes and language, sexual references,

and sensitive themes some viewers may find upsetting.

Things I should have done today - had a wax,

not had an argument with Tom, and prepared for my pitch.

How long is this gonna take? As long as it needs. So, what do you do?

Isn't it enough that she can see inside me?

Does she need to know about my day job as well?

I work at a newspaper, I'm the social media assistant.

Basically, I collect... Ah, that's a fancy career.

Well done, you.

Anyway, this might feel uncomfortable.

If you'll just breathe in for me.

Really? I mean, surely it's just a...

SHE WINCES Might feel uncomfortable?

Why don't they just stick a camera on a dildo and use that?

Actually, Ow, ow, ow. Sorry, that really hurts, you know.

I'm sure you're fine, strong girl like you.

How many sexual partners do you have, Queenie?

Now, how did we get here? Why is she asking?

Are there a load of guys just hanging around in my uterus?

It's just the one. Tom.

How long have you been with Tim? Uh, it's, uh...

Tom and I have been together for three years.

He...he wants us to buy a house next year, actually.

But it might be too much of a commitment?

You found it yet? It's just,

I forgot to tell my boss I had an appointment.

I'm just gonna go get a second opinion. Bear with.

Second opinion? On my vagina?

PHONE VIBRATES Hmph. That's never a great sign.

Come and take a look at this. See what you make of it.

She's just in here.

CURTAINS DRAWING

What does that look like to you?

I'm right, aren't I? I'm not a betting man,

but if I had to put money on it, yeah.

Sorry, what you putting money on? Yeah. Yes, there's that cheeky coil.

A little bit north of position.

Look at that.

Hmm. Thought so.

Saskia, take a look at this. OK.

Saw a guy mopping up some sick on the way in.

Maybe they should get him in here, too.

Could one of you tell me what's going on, please?

Sorry. What did you say your name was?

Is she fucking serious?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Linda,

until Jesus comes down to take me back to Him -

I will never, ever trust a Gemini man.

Prayer might help you, but Gemini men you can't trust.

Religion and the zodiac. She's cooking on gas today.

And if you do, more fool you.

Because you see me? Neither of their two personalities will catch me.

Mm. Anyway, take care, darling. Nice to meet you.

Good luck with your fibroid dem. Uh, thank you.

What did they say? Sorry. Nothing. Come on, let's go.

What dem say? I'm fine. Come on,

Aunty Maggie, let's go. I'm gonna be late for work.

Look, I know the people dem must have said something to you.

You weren't in there singing Kumbaya, were you?

What did they say? Come on, Aunty Maggie, nothing. Come on.

Do you need to talk to strangers about their fibroids?

Shush. Why you can't...

No, apparently my, erm...

..my cervix is shallow, so it's just a lot of navigations. That's...

HUSHED: I've already told you, we do not talk about our V in public.

It's not my V, it's my cervix.

And w...

This is what happen when you run around with Gemini boy,

you start talking explicitly in public.

V this and V that,

and no talk of G-O-D.

You weren't raised that way.

OK, when you say Gemini boy, uh...

..you mean white boy, don't you?

I cannot speak for your interpretations, Queenie.

You know what I mean.

Right, let me get you to work. Hey, Aunty...

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Look at you!

Stop it, Mummy! Uh-oh...

It's OK. Um, I'm gonna get the bus. I need the air.

Why don't you come see your grandma this Sunday?

Every single time I see her, she complains that she hasn't seen you.

I saw her a few weeks ago. Also, it's Tom's mum's birthday today,

so I'm gonna be at their house this weekend.

You're worried about his mother's birthday,

and you don't speak to your own?

If I run away right now, I wonder if she'll chase me up the road

or just let me get to work.

Call me if you need me, Queenie.

Physical touch? Not one of my love languages.

OK. Thank you, Aunty.

WOMAN SHOUTING

Don't end up like Patsy!

Patsy couldn't afford the rent.

I told her to keep praying, yeah,

but you know how it goes around here.

Sorry, I'm...I'm actually running late.

To every purpose there is a season.

To every time under heaven!

Grandma always said that the day Patsy had to pack up

and leave, Brixton would take its last breath.

Hey, Queenie.

It's Big-Batty Queenie. It's been a while, innit?

Where you been? I ain't seen you in the ends for a long time.

I moved. Live with my boyfriend now.

Boyfriend, yeah?

How's your wife?

It's complicated. Mm.

Sure it is. See you later.

Hey, Queenie!

You got my number, innit? Call me when you're ready.

I know you're a good girl waiting to turn bad.

Adi Malik, mouth bigger than the rest of him.

Mary Seacole, Margaret Busby, Olive Morris,

Claudia Jones, Khadija Saye -

black women through time whose stories and contributions

to society deserve to be mainstream and...

Ugh. Every single time.

"Khadija Saye. Black women through time whose stories

"and contributions to society have..."

Ugh.

So, if my last period was on the 7th...

Focus, Queenie. Focus. All right?

We're pitching about black women in time,

not about misleading menstrual cycles.

Mary Seacole, Margaret Busby, Olive Morris,

Claudia Jones, Khadija Saye.

This is what I'm at The Daily Reader to do.

I'm going to change the world.

But not today.

Hey. Keep your head up. You got this.

The new boy makes one good pitch and he's giving me advice?

You're almost there,

but maybe we can work on your delivery?

Queenie, could I grab you for a sec?

Thank you for finally joining us.

I'm...I'm sorry. My advice? Yeah.

Keep doing what you're meant to be doing.

You're the social media assistant for a reason.

That, you are good at.

But keep on pitching.

One day, we'll find something that works, OK?

OK.

Oh, and if I can get two children ready for school,

have a meeting with my divorce lawyer,

and still be in work on time, I think you can manage.

I just don't want it.

I told you, I don't want it. Thank you, Sophie.

Oh, yeah, just call Queenie.

Yeah, when they want someone to teach them to dance

at the Christmas office party, call Queenie.

Or when they want someone to make a Spotify playlist, call Queenie.

But when I wanna talk about things that actually matter it's...

Ah, milk...

This one isn't new.

Darcy. What?

Told you about this. Oh, sorry. Yeah?

Sorry.

Had your appointment this morning, didn't you? I'm fine.

You sure? You were meant to get here ages... I'm fine. I'm fine.

What you doing after work? Do you wanna get some dinner?

Oh. It's Tom's mum's birthday,

and we had a huge argument again this morning,

so I actually have to go. Darcy, we're ready for you. OK.

It'll be all right. Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Catch you in a bit.

I'll tell Darcy tomorrow.

Can we forget about this morning, please?

Yeah.

GENTLE CLATTERING FROM INSIDE

Oh, my God. Today was fucking awful. Oi. Hmm?

Keep the expletives down to a minimum, please? My gran's here.

Oh, she survived World War I, I'm sure she'll survive my swearing.

Are you gonna tell me why your day was so awful then?

Time for dinner, kids. Oh. Later. Let's do this. OK.

Why is this family so afraid of seasoning?

Me and Queenie have, uh, got you something you're gonna love.

Oh. Haven't we, Queenie?

Shit. I hope someone in that hospital likes perfume.

Uh, which we will give to you the next time we see you.

You two being here is enough. You came all this way.

Rich, pour Queenie some more wine.

Oh. No, no. It's fine.

You're not pregnant, are you? No. What? No.

What? No I'm not. No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not pregnant.

If you two had children,

I have to admit, they would be lovely.

Colour of milky coffee.

And if we're in luck, they'll have your eyes, Queenie,

which are just gorgeous, all those lashes,

but they'd get Tom's lovely straight nose.

It's a bit, uh, unexpected.

What do you mean a miscarriage?

It is rare, but unfortunately it does happen.

Uh, further suggested by the pregnancy test you took

which came back positive.

Adam, why don't you go and get the cake?

Nose like his granddad. Oh.

It would be nice for something of ours to be passed on,

given the baby will be half-caste.

Grandad had such a fine nose... Leave it.

This old bitch wants to be a grandma to my baby

when she's over here doing a racial ether of what it's gonna look like.

And he was so hardworking. Different to the youth of today...

One day, I'm just gonna say....

Well, hopefully you'll be dead and gone

long before you even get to meet it. GASPING

SHE SCREAMS Whoa.

Fuck.

Ugh.

She always makes such a mess, that girl.

DOOR SLAMS

I should have handled that better.

He should have handled that better.

There you go. Ugh. Geez.

You scared me. Ow.

What's going on with you?

What your gran said wasn't OK. But you know that, right?

And you know it's not OK to tell my gran that you hope she's dead

by the time we have kids, right?

She's from a different generation, Queenie.

Fine, but you're not. This is what I was saying this morning...

All right, OK, listen, listen. No, I don't wanna get into this.

OK? Like, it's late, I've been drinking.

Well, there's always a reason that you're not on my side, Tom.

I mean, what happens... Look, I can't always be on your side, Queenie, OK?

Because I can't always be angry.

Always angry?

Like, I can't take the drama.

Well, do you want, you, you want a girlfriend like Laura,

someone who just sits there and smiles politely?

Because, Tom, that... You're too much, Queenie.

And there it is.

Do you know what? Um, you should just go back to your family.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Tell him.

I'll tell him when he gets home. He'll understand.

How do we get back here?

Nah, I'm just saying, Sailor Moon could take any one of them, man.

Are we in 2005?

Bro, what you doing? You good?

Why you banging on my door like Feds?

Feds bring you snacks?

Mm-mm. You're lucky my mum's not in. Your mum's never here, Kyazike.

"Your mum's never here, Kyazike."

Who's this then?

Frank. Hi.

What you saying, Queenie?

How you keeping? It's been a minute.

Cos she's been with her boyfriend. Ow.

OK. I've been better.

Oh.

A'ight, well,

I'ma leave you two to it. Catch you in a bit, yeah?

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Mm.

Has your cousin moved in? No, he's just always here eating the food.

Hmm.

I beg you do something for me.

This guy came to my bay and he was too sexy.

Mm-hmm. Bearded,

muscles popping out the shirt,

grills spangling out the mouth. Mm-hmm.

It was an experience. And I know he was feeling me,

so I checked the account. I had to check the account, cool.

Mm. Yes.

�400 in the current,

six grand in debt on the credit card.

I told that man, "Flee from me, get behind me, Satan."

I can't do this. I won't.

Yeah, but, like, what if you fell in love?

You could have financially guided him. Financially guided who?

Mm. Queenie, my Mr Right cannot have minus money.

How come Kyazike always knows what she wants when it comes to men?

So, what are you saying? How's Tom? Um, he... Yeah, he's,

he's spending the weekend at his parents.

He'd rather spend time with his mum and dad

than his sexy, sexy girlfriend?

It's time to step your pussy up, babe.

How would I step my pussy up in practical terms?

Kyazike, my pussy's fine. It is up. God.

If you say so. No, it's just that I... You know what?

I think we haven't been, like, connecting properly in a while.

Like... I don't know, I've been a bit off.

GARAGE SONG PLAYS

Ooh, OK.

I'm gonna send it round. I'm feeling it.

I'm sending it round. Let's go, let's go, let's...

Hello? It's our song.

You really are off, innit?

Kyazike, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Listen, it's this quarter-life crisis thing

that everyone's talking about.

I saw a babe talk about it on TikTok, yeah?

She said once you turn 25 your head goes.

OK, but that hasn't happened to you.

Well, cos it's me. Tings like that don't happen to me. OK?

Look, I haven't spent a lot of time with this Tom bredda,

but I know how happy being in a relationship makes you.

That was really moist. I don't do this. Yeah.

It's been good for you? Yes.

OK. And you know you can't afford that house in Clapham by yourself,

and them transport links are...real tasty.

Yeah. So my advice is you go home

and put that pussy on him.

Kyazike, why are you always telling me what to do with my pussy?

Because someone has to, baby.

Babe, you have to go home and get your ivory king,

Or your palm prince.

Your mayo mister. Just...

Whatever he wants to identify as.

Know what? Parchment paper papi is that what you telling me?

If I tell Kyazike about the miscarriage now,

I'll just bring the tone down, won't I?

I'll leave it.

Another thing to add to the quarter-life crisis.

Oh, blessed Sunday.

The prodigal granddaughter has returned.

You know I've been busy, Grandma. Hmm.

You hungry?

Hey, Granddad. Jesus Christ.

You almost give me a heart attack.

What's new? What's going on?

Everything and nothing, Queenie.

I wonder if Granddad ever had a quarter-life crisis.

Where's Queenie deh?

Coming in?

It's your name she called, not mine.

Your aunty and your cousin are here.

Your eye dem look tired.

I know you, Queenie. I know when something wrong.

I'm fine.

Oh. The guest of honour. What a surprise to see you here.

Oh. OK, OK, OK. I'm surprised that boy's parents let you leave.

Those people never want to see me again.

You spoken to your mother? Grandma, you know I haven't.

Excuse me?

No, I haven't.

There's nothing to say. And like I say, I've been busy.

What are they plotting?

Look, your mum's coming over.

Oh, what?!

Your mother needs you.

And as it says in The Bible, Exodus 20, verse 12.

"Honour your mother and your father, that your days may be long."

But Grandma, you two... I don't c...

Saved by the little cuz.

You good, Queenie?

If you don't take your hand out of my pot...

What's going on in here?

Why's everyone just bare quiet and staring at each other?

That be people's business. I know, Mum, but I'm just asking.

Mind your beeswax. You know what? Actually, it's, it's OK.

Diana, it was really good to see you, but I, I have to go.

Queenie. Bye, guys. See you later.

Later.

What?

You see you?

Step away from me stove.

I'm hungry. Step...away from the stove.

I know it's a very unrealistic and unhelpful way to think about it,

but our baby would've been cute.

But maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I wasn't ready.

My mum had me when she was young.

She obviously wasn't ready either.

DOOR OPENS He came back.

Now's my chance to show him I'm not as emotionally detached

as he accuses me of being.

OK, OK. Babes, listen, listen, Friday was bad.

I know, it was. It was bad. OK, and I should have,

I should have spoken to you about it, but...

You know, this, uh, this opening up

and this being vulnerable thing, it...

..it isn't me. But I'm, I'm, I'm gonna try.

Look, we can't just... We can't keep doing this.

What do you mean? Like, the last few months have been bad, Queenie.

Like, you know this.

And, like, at Mum's it was just...

I mean, you can't be happy. Like, I know I'm not...

I'm usually happy.

Ish. I just...

Listen, we just, we need to get into a new rhythm

now that we live together. That's it. It's...

You know, you never tell me what's wrong. Like, ever.

Like, you've pushed me away for so much of this relationship.

Tom, it's...it's my stuff.

Ugh. OK? It's mine. Yeah. It's my stuff!

We've all got stuff, Queenie, OK?

And I have tried with yours, OK? I really have.

OK, so what's different this time? Look, just...

What? You just take some space, OK? And I'll take some too.

All right? We'll just...

We'll just work on ourselves for a little bit.

All right? I'll go and stay with my parents

and it'll give you a chance to find somewhere else to stay.

This is all very rational of you.

Yeah. Well, one of us has to be.

Ouch.

How long do you need exactly?

Is it like a week or a month? Can you just... I don't know, Queenie.

YOUNG GIRL: Come back.

SHE HYPERVENTILATES

Fuck.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0