Original subtitles

Who was he?

Who was my husband?

He betrayed Gladys. He seduced Dorothy. And he married me. Why?

I just need to know who he was.

Alec was a first class agent.

One of a tiny handful at that time.

His work out in India and then during the war.

He saved hundreds of lives.

So it wasn't a professional relationship?

No.

I wouldn't call it that.

What are you doing to provide for my grandchildren?

I just want to give the boys a good future.

Do the right thing for them.

So do we.

My condolences, Mrs Wilson.

Alec was such a fine chap.

Much loved at the hospital.

Such a good man.

Oh, God. Why does everyone keep saying that?

One son the Navy, the other off to University.

What are you saying?

Don't jeopardise their futures.

Mum? What's going on?

Stop digging, Alison.

None of it makes any sense, who was he, Mum?

I have genuinely no idea who Dad was.

Did he lie to you, too?

I said, you better bloody leave.

Alec let me down, Father.

Why should I believe you?

How do I know you are not lying as well? Covering up for him.

And how would I be judged by your God?

The one you are not sure about.

Did you write that letter, Mum?

Did you write that bloody letter?

Go upstairs, get Nigel and get out!

I said get out!

And us women have to pay the price?

Do his dirty work?

Lie to our children?

It's the price you have to pay.

For the service he gave.

Ladies, ladies, form an orderly queue.

Raise your arms.

Woo-ooo!

Why is she getting all the attention?

I'm sorry you have to come here.

There are fascists here, Mosley followers.

I have to get in with them, gather intelligence.

So the charge of theft? It's not true?

Of course it's not. Alison.

It's in the paper that you're here on remand.

So they're going to try you for a crime that you haven't committed?

There won't be a trial.

I'll stay here until I get what I need and then I'll come home.

Sorry. I can't do this anymore.

Don't visit me, it's fine.

No I'm leaving you, Alec.

We need money.

The rent's overdue.

We've got no food.

Your children are hungry, Alec.

I'll work something out.

Send you some cash. - Why don't they pay you properly?

Why do we have to live like this?

It's my cover.

You know that.

When I'm out of here, I'll... I'll sort it all out. I... I promise you.

Don't leave.

I need you.

I'm going to sell this.

I need to buy tickets.

I'm taking the boys up to Cumberland, I need to go.

Wait, they've taken my things.

But as soon as I get out, I can show you

in my wallet, there's proof of my work.

No I can't Alec. - It might work...

There's proof of my work!

♪ Kyrie eleison ♪

♪ Kyrie eleison ♪

♪ Christe eleison ♪

I've boiled all your clothes. and we can mend them in the morning.

Oh, and I've got some flannel, so I can make up some smocks for the boys.

Thank you.

You've always been a dreamer

believed the best in people.

You don't know the whole story, Mother.

I know he's in jail for theft.

You've done the right thing, Alison.

Ease up lads.

One, two, one, two. Keep going.

That's it lads, keep going. Another circuit.

Run will you, boys!

I did write that letter, Gordon.

I'm so sorry.

I just...

couldn't believe that Dad didn't own Blakefield.

When I opened that letter, I was so disappointed, I...

didn't want you to feel the same way, to feel that way about your father.

So everything was a lie.

No.

It's very complicated, Gordon. - It seems pretty simple to me.

Dad made it all up, even his work. - No, not his work.

Why was there no record of him at the Foreign Office?

What, you think they give out the names of their employees over the phone? Come on

So you think he did work there?

Of course he did. That's where we met.

I promise you.

The man at the funeral, that chap from the hospital.

What about him? - He seemed to know Dad pretty well.

As if they'd worked together.

Or as if he looked after him when he was a patient.

I saw Dad at the hospital once

pushing a trolley

in a porter's uniform.

When? - Years ago

when Nigel broke his leg.

He said he was volunteering as a porter for a day.

I believed him.

He had cover jobs for his work.

I just want to know who he was.

I know, I know you do.

And I'll do all I can

to find out his connection with Blakefield

I'll find that porter.

Please tell me the truth, Mum.

No more faking or forging.

I'll do all I can.

Alec has turned up.

Where?

He's with the boys.

Gordon was a brave soldier.

He wasn't afraid of the enemy, was he? No!

He was going to win the war for his country.

He led his soldiers over the highest mountains

across the widest rivers, marching onwards, march, march.

march to victory. - Alec.

I don't suppose you got much homemade cake in Brixton prison.

Gordon's been out on a tractor.

Oh, gosh, I bet he was thrilled.

Oh, he loves it here.

And Alison's old nanny's come back to help out.

I'm very grateful for everything you've done while I've been away.

Alison and the boys can stay...

as long as they like.

I've found us a new flat and I've been given a pay rise.

Well, you must be tired Alec after your long journey.

I've made up the spare room for you.

No!

No! No! No!

Alison, don't.

- Go, go... No, go... - Shhh...

back! Stop! Stop it!

Stop.

Shh...

Same dream?

In the Somme?

Stay a minute.

He could come and visit.

It's not as if you'd never see him again.

But my life up here, what would I do?

I'll bring up those lovely boys.

And I'm not getting any younger, I'll need looking after soon.

Is it his age or the fact that he's a Catholic that you hate so much?

Oh, for God's sake, Alison, wake up.

Can't you see who he is?

I told you, it's his job.

He's a crook and a liar.

I don't believe a single word he says.

It was still at the pawnbrokers.

A farmer my own age from a good, local family

that's who I should have married. - You'd have been bored silly.

You said yourself you'd go mad up here.

It's the boys.

They get fresh air, protein...

proper meals.

Life will improve.

They've assured me there'll be no more work in prison.

They've found me a cover job locally, so I'll be at home more to help out.

I've got to get back.

I'm leaving on the morning train.

Alec?

Come with me.

How can I?

When you give me no reassurance?

First arrested for fraud, then...

jailed for theft.

Go to the courts, Alison.

See if you can find a single conviction against me.

What are you afraid of?

That mother's right.

That everything that you...

it's all just a lie.

Why would the service still employ me?

How do I know that they still do?

You follow me when we get home.

Maybe then you'll trust me.

How can you believe in him without evidence?

Sacrifice your whole life without any proof?

Well, it's not always easy

but I believe in God's goodness.

You never doubt him?

We all have doubts at times.

It's normal.

- Central Middlesex hospital, please. - Right you are, madam.

I need your help, Mr Ashby.

I believe my husband worked here as a porter?

For many years.

Do you remember his hours?

Well, it was shift work.

Was he full time?

I don't think so.

He was always in and out, in and out.

Was there a problem?

Was he sacked?

No, no, he could never do enough for the patients.

Was he just a normal porter?

He wasn't involved in anything else?

Bert.

My husband had other business when I married him

and I have to know if he was still involved.

I covered for him.

He used to meet up with a lady.

She used to hang around, waiting.

He'd drop everything for her.

How often did he see her? - Every week.

He called her "the boss".

Old lady.

Chain smoker.

Wait for two minutes, then follow me.

Trust me, Alison.

Twenty years he worked for you

and if it weren't for my mother's inheritance

we'd still be in a rented room, scraping to eat.

Can't you see the harm you did?

The doubts you seeded?

Why didn't you pay him?

I have a right to know. My sons have a right to know.

This is the British Intelligence Service. You don't have any rights.

I sacrificed... Alec

sacrificed his name

his happiness, everything for you.

There are things you don't know.

Oh, please tell me.

You don't want to know. - Tell me.

You'll regret it.

Tell me the truth, Coleman.

I'm giving you one last chance

to walk away from all this and live the rest of your life in peace.

You lived in poverty because, with a criminal record

Alec was only employable only in the lowest positions.

We fired Alec from the service in 1942...

Sorry?

We fired him.

No.

No, he uncovered the...

the traitors at the Egyptian Embassy, I typed it all up.

I... I heard it.

Ah, you typed up his translations.

But he didn't translate what he actually heard.

What?

He embellished the facts.

He spun us a fantastical web of intrigue

a wonderful spy story, none of it was actually true.

No. He helped us win the war.

No, he didn't. M.I.5 spent months

precious, wasted months

trying to track down this so-called Egyptian spy ring.

He went to Alamein, I saw the passport, I saw the stamps.

No, it was faked. - No.

He was imprisoned for fraud.

No. - Jailed again in '44.

No stop it! Stop it! - You should have stuck to your guns.

And left him.

Alec's skills of deception

were judged to be so dangerous - Stop it.

that the service decided to watch him for the rest of his life.

No, you're lying.

You're his handler. I saw you.

I saw you with him.

People saw you, at the hospital, they saw you with him.

Mm, yes. As I said, the service decided to watch him.

He was under my surveillance.

I don't believe you.

I think you already do.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I have been trusting.

Forgive me for I loved my husband.

I believed him.

I lied to my sons.

Forgive me for being weak.

So weak, vain and stupid.

Mrs Wilson?

He offers you hope

so you lower your guard and then he disappears.

You're grieving.

You think God has abandoned you.

It's natural.

You loved Alec so very much, didn't you?

What you need now is sleep.

Some rest.

There is a community of Servite women who take others in

for retreat.

I could call them?

God is testing you.

Be patient.

Search for a chink of light.

It will come.

And when it does...

open yourself up and let God in.

Hello.

Who is this?

My husband gave me this number, he left me a card in his wallet.

Then we need to have another talk, Mrs Wilson.

Mr Karim, is that you?

Yes, I've just got back from Lahore.

If you knew about Alec's work, why didn't you tell me before?

I'm sorry. I made a promise to Alec many years ago. Let me explain.

There we are.

Please have a seat.

I don't need much.

Just enough for an odd visit home and...

subscription to my club.

You have been in the wars.

It was all a lie.

Everything Alec told me.

I have no idea what you can add.

But I know that Alec was sacked in 1942 for lying.

He was sacked for telling the truth, Mrs Wilson.

There was a group of agents in M.I.5 who wanted control of Alec's phone line

to the Egyptian embassy.

Why?

Couldn't they just read his transcripts?

Don't assume everyone in the service was on the same side.

You think that Alec was set up by a double-agent working in M.I.5?

I don't think so...

I know it.

Why?

They said that Alec was fabricating material

so they could sack him.

Why?

With their own man on the line

they could send intelligence straight through to Moscow.

But how could they do that?

How could they smear Alec, like that?

He was a story teller

and he didn't help himself, you see...

The complicated love life

the reckless exaggerations about his background.

What a good friend you are, Mr Karim

protecting Alec like this.

Mrs Wilson

it's all true.

You want me to believe in him again. I just don't have the strength.

- Hello. - Mum?

What's wrong?

Gordon said you're OK now that you've been to see him.

I'm fine.

How's Oxford?

It's great, my digs are really nice.

Good. That's good.

Listen, Mum...

I know you miss Dad

but me and Gordon, we're always here.

Where did you learn such kindness, Nigel?

From you.

I love you.

Look, I'd better go.

I'll call you at the weekend. - You're stronger than you think, Mum.

Just keep going.

I will, bye my love.

These are all the letters Alec wrote pleading his case.

But, as soon as he made progress

they framed him, planted stolen goods on him.

You surely can't believe he was capable of theft?

He gave everything to the service and they broke him

cast him out without a penny.

But why didn't he tell me the truth?

He wanted to protect you

and then I think he let the lie take root in his own head...

till he almost believed it himself.

If he wasn't a spy, then who was he?

He wanted you to think the best of him.

I know that much.

God, I want to believe you Mr Karim, I really do

but it's so incredible.

Is there someone else I can talk to?

I can't introduce you to the KGB.

Then how do I know who to believe?

Don't give up on him, Mrs Wilson.

Choose faith.

You go to the courts, Alison.

see if you can find a single conviction against me.

What are you afraid of?

- Marylebone Crown Court, please. - OK.

Thank you.

I've just come from the court records office.

Met an archivist.

Nice fellow.

Couldn't have been more helpful.

Why are there no records of the crimes you say he committed.

Why were there no trials, Coleman?

You were married

to a pathological liar, Alison. Accept it.

You can't answer the question, can you?

And now you're on some wild goose chase, led by his great pal Karim.

You sacked an agent

destroyed him.

Covered it up for 20 years.

We fired your husband because his transcripts were make-believe.

So why would he listen to one thing and make up another?

Fiction.

It's what he did. - Jeopardise his career?

The war effort? For the sake of a story? I don't think so Coleman.

It's who he was.

No, he loved his country.

Why would he do that?

You think I haven't wondered that myself?

I watched him... for twenty years.

I never found any answers.

You must believe what you like.

You won't find a scrap of evidence.

My boys are fine, aren't they?

Their careers were never in any danger.

You know, I know...

that Alec had wives before me.

I know that he lied about his background his family life, his education.

He lied to me so many times.

But not this.

He did everything for this country and you destroyed him.

I know who he was.

I know.

Gordon, it's Mum.

I really need to talk to you...

about Dad.

How he made mistakes, Gordon. He made lots of them.

I know who he was.

He loved us.

Oh, he loved us.

Afternoon.

Oh, Olive!

The boys are coming home for the weekend

you must both come in for a drink.

Alison, we would love that.

♪ How do you do what you do to me? ♪

♪ I wish I knew ♪

♪ If I knew how you do it to me ♪

♪ I'd do it to you ♪

♪ How do you do what you do to me? ♪

♪ I'm feeling blue ♪

♪ I wish I knew how you do it to me ♪

♪ But I haven't a clue ♪

♪ You give me a feeling in my heart ♪

♪ Like an arrow passing through it ♪

♪ S'pose that you think you're very smart ♪

♪ But won't you tell me how do you do it? ♪

♪ How do you do what you do to me? ♪

♪ If I only knew ♪

♪ That perhaps you'd fall for me ♪

♪ Like I fell for you ♪

Hello. Are you alright?

Yes, thank you.

What's your name?

Douglas.

How old are you, Douglas?

Eight.

Are you meeting someone here?

My mum. I'm meeting her here after work.

We're looking for my dad.

We thought he lived here.

What do you mean?

We need to see him.

He's stopped sending us our money.

What does your dad do?

He's a doctor.

He's probably in Pakistan.

He's got a big house there in Lahore.

He even taught me to count in Urdu.

Ek, do, teen, chaar, paanch, che.

Excuse me?

Excuse me. I'm looking for my husband.

Could you open the door please? Hello.

I'm looking for my husband.

My name's Mrs Wilson. Elizabeth Wilson.

I need to find my husband.

Could you please open the door?

Hello!

I have no one else to speak to. I need to find my husband.

I can't believe she's never been back.

What have you got there?

Just found it

shoved right to the back of Mum's wardrobe.

Must be the only photo she kept.

Come on, Susan will kill me if she goes into labour before I get back.

Oh, Deborah, oh...

She's gorgeous.

Can I?

Hello.

Oh, you're gorgeous.

Yes you are. Deborah.

Thank you, for bringing her to meet me.

I know I shut you out, I had to.

I'm sorry.

I'm splitting the proceeds of the house between the two of you.

Mum?

No, I want to help you each buy a place of your own.

I won't have your children growing up as you did.

It's alright, we can sort ourselves. - No.

I've already arranged the bank transfer.

But what will you live on?

I don't need anything.

Not now...

I didn't want to tell you until I was sure but...

I've decided to stay here for good.

No, It's good news.

I've found peace.

As long as you're happy?

I am.

It's alright.

We'll still meet, talk.

Hm... Bye bye.

I found this, in case you want it.

Bless you. Hey, come here.

Look after yourself, love, hm?

When Deborah grows up

what will I tell her about Dad?

Take care love.

Hello.

How kind of you to meet me after all this time.

- How are you? - Hm...

And Gordon and Nigel?

We're fine.

We're all fine.

Gordon's just had a baby actually. - Ah!

Oh, she's got the Wilson eyes.

Yes, she has.

Deborah.

A new cousin for my two kids.

Hmm.

Do you ever wish you hadn't found out about us?

No.

I'd rather know the truth

who Dad really was.

I've just kept it from them for so long.

You're a good mother.

They will understand.

What's on your mind?

How can I give myself to God

while I'm being dishonest with my children?

What do you mean?

There's still so much I haven't told them about Alec.

Well then, it's time to talk to them.

I know...

and I want to. I just...

It has to be done the right way...

with kindness, compassion.

You're asking me how you can forgive Alec?

Understanding comes first, Alison.

Then forgiveness.

You must have spent time with Alec when he was a young man.

Yes, of course.

How did you know him?

I'm sorry, I just never quite understand his connection to this house.

Oh, It was used as a military hospital during both wars

Alec convalesced here when he came back from the Somme.

Just a teenager when he arrived back from the Front, poor lad.

We were all terribly fond of him.

We'd be in here on our break and hear him crying out.

He was very low.

Well, the things he'd seen.

He had nightmares his whole life.

I used to read to him, take his mind off it.

Romances, mysteries, you name it.

We went through the whole night sometimes.

And then, a doctor brought him in, a typewriter.

And that was it.

He started writing here? - Hm.

A story about a... a young officer.

Can you remember anything of it?

It was a bit of a fantasy really.

This chap saved all his men

helped win the war.

Oh, now then, what was it called?

He led his soldiers over the highest mountains

across the widest rivers

marching onwards, march, march, march to victory.

"The March to Victory".

That's it.

He started eating again.

Walking in the garden.

He came back to life, it was remarkable.

Did he ever tell you how writing helped him?

He said it took away the fear inside him.

And he could fiddle with a story

give it a happy ending.

Did he carry on with the fiction?

Until the very end.

Ah...

My dear Gordon and Nigel.

This is the true story of our life.

I've wanted to tell you for so long but the truth is complicated

And it felt kinder to keep it from you.

But the lies must end with me.

Only with the truth can I tell you that you have a greater family.

And how can I deprive you of that?

The chance to get to know your own flesh and blood.

Maybe, when the hurt has faded

you will look up your brothers.

Or, in years to come, your children will find their cousins and make friends.

Perhaps some good can come of this.

and the Holy Spirit.

I, Alison Wilson

have lived the life of the Servite Secular Institute for three years

You must decide for yourselves who your father really was.

But you should know that, with God's help, I have forgiven him.

I hope, one day, that you may be able to do the same.

Therefore... I, Alison Wilson

vow to live...

in Chastity, in Poverty and Obedience.

The body of Christ.

Amen.

With father, the son and the Holy Spirit.

This is the true story of our life.

Never doubt that dad loved you.

As, of course, I do my darling boys.