Original subtitles

You doing okay back there, Bernard? I know I forgot your booster seat.

BERNARD: I can't see you, but I still love you.

Hands off!

My famous stinkerdoodle cookies are for Tylor and his friends.

Thanks, Grandma. And, Mom, thanks for driving today.

I don't know why Val couldn't pick me up this morning.

She picks me up every morning. Must be busy or something.

BOTH: Mm-hmm? What?

I just wonder if Val's still mad about the softball game.

TYLOR: What? 'Cause I probably would be.

But I'm petty like that.

No. No. I mean, all I did was strike her out and win it for the other team.

Well, I don't think I put in enough cinnamon to fix all that.

But she knows it was just part of the game.

It'll be fine. Look. I got cookies.

You know, the best way to get somebody to forgive you is just to say you're sorry.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Sorry, hon. I forgive you.

See?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

So, I have this amazing opportunity to be a jokester,

which makes me all excited, like, yay!

But when I told Tylor, my best friend, I wanted him to be excited for me,

and he just wasn't.

Like, I was so supportive of him becoming a jokester.

Why can't he be supportive of me?

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Yeah. I already told him how I felt.

Hey. Good morning, Val!

(TYLOR EXCLAIMING) Hmm.

Ta-da!

I got something for you. Stinkerdoodle cookies.

Grandma T. made them for you. And the whole gang.

So they're group apology cookies.

Sorry. What's... You're mumbling. I can't...

Nothing. BOTH: Huh?

Why are you still here?

Didn't you get the memo? Brenda didn't give you the memo.

Come with me. Wait. What's happening?

Mike and Sulley have something very special planned.

As do I. I brought cookies.

Where are we going? Basement.

Technically, it's the basement below the basement.

If Brenda had given you the memo, you'd know.

Who's Brenda? Do I know her? No more questions. Thank you.

Wait. Is this elevator moving horizontally

instead of vertically? (ALL EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH GRUNT)

So, uh, you've been a little quiet this morning.

You feeling okay? I'm fine.

Cool. Yeah, I just want to make sure we're good.

Yep.

Wow. Awkward.

I should have taken the stairs. You know, get my steps in.

Hmm? Huh.

Val?

(YELLS IN SURPRISE) Tylor. Come join us so we can get started.

Yes, very glad you could take the time to attend a mandatory event.

(CHUCKLES) About time, College Boy.

I'm sure you're all wondering why we asked you here today.

You know, I was up all night excitedly wondering about

what I was going to wonder about today.

Isn't that wonderful?

We thought this might help boost team morale

after losing the softball game.

Hmm... I brought cookies.

Yeah, I was very down we didn't win, but you know what, guys?

I found that if you sob into your pillow long enough, you can get over anything.

Anyway, this company started

because a group of monsters like you worked together.

Uh-huh.

So today we're gonna work together by doing some teamwork activities.

It's gonna be fun. As fun as the softball game?

Ah, ah, ah. Funner.

I know some of you might find

this historic part of Monsters Inc. a little creepy.

But it's a perfectly normal reaction,

considering all the monsters who've gone missing in these tunnels

thanks to Karloff the Shrieker.

(ALL MUMBLING IN FEAR) The Shrieker?

Mother used to tell me stories about him. She said he was just a myth.

And mothers don't lie, right? They don't lie, right?

A myth? No, no, no, no.

(CLEARS THROAT) Oh!

Here you go. Thank you.

Long ago, one of the first scarers to lurk these halls

was a terrifying monster named Karloff the Shrieker.

(ROARS)

The only thing he hated even more than human children

was laughter. (LAUGHTER ECHOING)

His greatest pleasure in life

was making children scream over and over again.

As the years went by, his hatred extended to fellow monsters.

Some say his spirit roams these tunnels still,

looking for new victims to terrify

and drag off into the darkness.

Karloff comes for you when he hears your laughter.

The lights flicker, you hear a shriek...

(SHRIEKS) (ALL EXCLAIM IN FEAR)

And by then it's too late. His claws are already grabbing you.

(SHRIEKS AND CHUCKLES)

But those are just silly rumors.

You have nothing to worry about as long as you don't laugh.

Not a problem.

Okay. I'm gonna go ahead and make a deputy supervisor decree

that we all leave immediately and go to a well-lit, ghostless room upstairs.

Yeah. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but maybe Duncan is right?

Oh, good. Now you're supportive of Duncan.

Did you say something, Val? You're mumbling again.

Everyone just relax.

Karloff was a real monster,

but he's not a ghost and he's not gonna get you.

But I do understand and I hear your concerns,

which is the perfect transition to our first team-building activity.

So, we thought we'd take you back to our company's roots.

To where the very first Monsters Inc. door station was constructed.

MIKE: Even if it's an old piece of junk that hasn't worked in years.

SULLEY: Mike. And by old, I mean classic.

And by piece of junk, I mean piece of junk with sentimental value.

All right. Who wants a pen? Who wants a paper?

Everyone write down an area of improvement for Monsters Inc. and put it in the bowl.

Then Mike will read them out loud anonymously.

That is, if you have any complaints.

Okay. I guess you all had a few.

Give a guy an inch, he thinks he's a ruler.

Uh, here we go. "I think everyone is doing their best. Love, Fritz."

Just a reminder, this was supposed to be anonymous.

That was unanimous. I second the motion.

Okay. This is just a bunch of paperwork.

How else am I supposed to get you to sign them?

"Things around here keep going missing,

"like sugar packets at the coffee station, and my lucky mitt..."

I mean, "Mike's lucky mitt."

I think someone forgot to return my Holding Pen key.

You know, it's been borrowed for a long time.

And I can't find the bowl I keep my interesting boogers in.

There it is.

(BOTH GROAN)

"Someone should be better about apologizing

"for not being a supportive friend."

Maybe take them to lunch. You know, tell them how you feel.

This just says "Tylor." Yes, my complaint is Tylor.

MS. FLINT: Anonymous! My anonymous complaint is Tylor.

Yeah, his behavior at the game didn't echo our collective values.

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's slow down here. (ALL MUTTERING)

It wasn't my fault Johnny picked me and I won the game for Fear Co.

Plus, I made cookies to make up for it.

Oh, ouchies. Grandma T. made them.

Did you bring coffee to go with those cookies?

Perhaps a pepper stink mocha? I'm onto you, College Boy.

I don't know what you're talking about. Don't make me laugh.

(LAUGHS, EXCLAIMS)

Oh, no. Now the Shrieker's gonna get me. (EXCLAIMS)

(LAUGHS) The Shrieker's not gonna get you. I told you. There's no ghost.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(BOTH EXCLAIM) (ALL GASPING)

Ha! Very funny, Sulley. You can come back now.

We're all laughing at your very funny joke. (MOCK LAUGHS)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Where did they go?

The Shrieker got him! And now he's gonna get us.

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Out of my way! I'm essential!

Well, I'm definitely next.

Hot blondes never make it to the end of these stories.

(REVS CHAINSAW)

Hey, calm down. We need to stop panicking and put our heads together

before the Shrieker takes anyone else. (WHISTLES)

We need a search party to find Mr. Wazowski and Mr. Sullivan.

We can't leave any monsters behind. Oh, I volunteer.

I know these tunnels like the back of my own tentacle.

I've studied all the underground schematics.

ALL: Huh?

For fun.

As long as you promise to come back alive, Rogie.

All right. Let's go.

I'll go with you. Whatever.

Okay. While you do that, the rest of us will try to get an old door up and running

so that we can get out of here... And you're gone.

Wow. Do they move fast.

Sulley? Mr. Wazowski?

Mr. Sullivan? Mike?

VAL: Mr. Sullivan? Hello? (SNIFFING)

TYLOR: Mike. Hmm. This way.

Sulley? Are you here?

Sulley? Mike? Hmm.

I don't remember this part of the tunnel system.

I'll tell you what. Give me a minute to sniff it out.

(SNIFFING)

BOTH: I think we should go that way.

Ugh, why do we always have to go your way?

What are you talking about? This was your idea.

I followed you into this spooky tunnel. It's not that spooky.

(CLEARS THROAT) (BOTH EXCLAIM)

You know, I've been sensing some tension bubbling up between the two of you.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Could we do this later? Monsters' lives are at stake.

I once had this transformational life coach, Dr. Claudia Clapperclaw,

who taught me some insightful communication techniques

that you might find illuminating.

Yeah, all of that just sounds made-up.

This is now the talking flashlight.

Looks like a regular flashlight, but it's not!

Whoever holds it will use "I" statements to explain how they feel.

Like, I feel great about this exercise.

Who wants to give it a go? This is so stupid.

Ah, ah, ah.

"I feel..." Ugh, okay.

I feel that this is stupid.

Good, good. And how does that make you feel?

Well, I feel frustrated,

because all day long I've been hoping to get an apology from you, but no.

Hey. We're really getting...

I feel like I already apologized for that silly game.

Is that why you've been acting weird and, like, mumbling all day?

I feel like I don't mumble,

and bringing apology cookies isn't the same as saying you're sorry.

They weren't just any cookies. Start with "I feel."

Yeah. You made Grandma T. make them. She wanted to make them.

And I wanted you to be supportive.

Well, you didn't tell me that. I can't just read your mind, Val.

But you're my best friend and you just should!

Oh, would you look at that.

The talking flashlight got upgraded to the throwing flashlight.

Not a peep till I come back.

Come on, Val. Mm. Not without the talking flashlight.

(HUMMING) Yeah. (GASPS)

Hey. This is odd, even for me.

TYLOR: What are those? Are those track marks?

ROGER: Or claw marks?

Should we open it? No. The Shrieker might be in there.

Yes, but so could Mr. Sullivan and Mr. Wazowski. We have to open it.

Okay. On three.

One... Two...

ALL: Three! (ALL EXCLAIM IN FEAR)

(SIGHS)

Hey. You guys find Mike and Sulley? Just found a broom, huh?

Well, I got more bad news.

This place may be covered in doors,

but the only working one we found was that one.

There you go. This right here is your standard-issue banishment door.

See the sand embedded along the frame?

Classic. This baby leads straight to the barren desert.

Yep, nothing but you and the deep-seated loneliness that follows.

I can't go into a motherless desert.

And I certainly don't wanna be stuck in a dark basement with a murderous ghost.

Or we try to catch the ghost.

Catch a ghost? No, not gonna happen.

What are you, nuts? DUNCAN: Ha.

I'd rather have everyone except me die than listen to your traitorous opinion.

Listen. I think what Tylor's trying to say

is that if we can get the Shrieker through the banishment door,

we can trap it.

Yeah, that's what I was... All right. I'll be the bait.

Someone get me some butter. Like, a lot of butter.

Or we can lure him out with the thing he hates the most.

Laughter.

And then demand he give Mike and Sulley back.

By any means necessary.

Yeah. No, that's what I was... Okay, everyone.

Let's all help get the banishment door in position.

This kid is something else.

Hooked up. Ready to go.

So, we're gonna drop this door on the Shrieker and he will be trapped forever.

No matter what happens, just keep laughing and stick together.

I'll keep an eye out and give you the signal.

Everyone laugh. Right now!

(ALL FORCING LAUGHTER)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS) This isn't working.

Hey. Remember when we got that fancy high-tech vending machine

and it turned evil? (IMITATES BEEPING)

"I am evil." Oh, Vendy Two.

Whoa, was she a feisty one. She totally ate Duncan.

(ALL LAUGHING) (DUNCAN MOCK LAUGHING)

Yes, I almost died, was so hilarious. Thank you, Val.

(LAUGHS) And then she gave me extra PopFarts,

which give you exactly what they say they're gonna do.

Yeah, it took us a week to lick Drooler Cooler debris off the wall. Remember that?

(ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(METAL SCRAPING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(SHRIEKS)

Here he comes. Everyone in position.

Cutter, you're up! Go!

The talking/throwing flashlight is now

the laugh-to-keep-from-dying flashlight.

Hey, big boy. (LAUGHING) This way. Yeah.

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Fritz, you're up!

Oh! (FRITZ LAUGHING)

Over here, much-bigger-than-me-monster!

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Here, Duncan! (DUNCAN EXCLAIMS)

It's laughter he's after.

Duncan! Here! Over here! Got it!

(LAUGHING) (ROARS)

Roger! He's almost there.

Oh, you know, you have something stuck in your teeth.

I hope it isn't anyone I know.

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

It's stuck!

(GRUNTS)

(SHRIEKS)

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS, GRUNTS)

Whoa!

VAL: Tylor!

(ALL EXLCAIMING AND MUTTERING)

(ALL GASP) MIKE: Hello. Hey. Open the door. Open the door.

Not until you tell us where our friends are.

SULLEY: We're right here. It's us. Let us in.

(ALL GASP)

Oh, yeah. Awesome.

Whoa.

ALL: Mike! Wazowski!

No.

ALL: Sulley!

Well, there's a plot twist.

Great work, everyone. You came through with flying colors.

How did you get the Shrieker to give you their costume?

The costume was all part of my plan.

I knew if you were under a little pressure,

you'd come together and work as a team. And you did.

Just a brilliant performance on my part, if I do say so myself, which I just did.

Oh, encore. Encore!

Sorry, folks. This was just a one-time production of Monsters in the Dark.

This whole thing could have been a memo.

Yeah, last time I saw someone fall from that high, they didn't walk away.

It was more of a very slow crawl. Respect.

Oh, and I also accept your stinkerdoodle cookie apology.

Finally. Ooh! These are good.

Extra stinky!

Everyone else, you know, the idiots,

may have been charmed by your heroics and pathetic cookies.

But not me. I didn't make them. My grandma did.

(GASPS) Sweet Virginia? Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme!

There's one left. Just for you.

Mm. That was a good plan. And you did really great, you know?

Making everyone relax and laugh.

Thanks. You did a great job too.

Listen. I wanted to say I'm sorry

for throwing the talking flashlight and expecting you to read my mind.

Yeah, you know, after our talk, I totally get why you're upset.

And I want to say I'm sorry for what happened at the softball game. I was...

I was in my head, you know?

But I should have been more supportive of you.

By letting you get that hit to win the game.

(SIGHS) Ah.

Can't wait to get back out there with the best jokester assistant ever.

Oh.

Actually, I'm ready to do something on my own.

I'm gonna take the jokester job.

Oh, yeah. The jokester job offer.

Of course, you should definitely take it, you know?

I mean, you know, I would. Actually, I already did.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

So... Yeah. Congrats, Unicorn Sparkle.

I guess I'll see you on the Laugh Floor.

Not if I see you first. On the, on the floor up there. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

All right. I'll, uh... I'll see you.

Oh. What's this sugar packet doing down here?

I've been looking for these everywhere.

I'll just hang onto this for my sleepy time coffee.

You know drinking too much of that stuff makes you crankier than usual?

It does not, you purple throw rug!

Oh, and by the way, great job

with all the lighting effects and shrieks and adding the claw marks.

It really sold the whole spooky ghost thing.

SULLEY: Claw marks? That wasn't me.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(METAL SCRAPING)

(SCREAM ECHOING)

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