Original subtitles

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh.

(CHUCKLES) Work buds forever.

Work buds forever.

Heyo, who ordered all these donuts?

Hmm?

Hi, hon. (GASPS)

Look, we're super poor.

You shoulda taken that FearCo job.

We had to sell the store.

We live in this bed now.

GRANDMA TUSKMON: Now, we've lost everything. (TYLOR GASPS)

ALL: Bye, Tylor.

Mom, Dad, Grandma, wait! (GASPS)

JOHNNY: You could be one of the greats. A legend.

Hey, Tylor, come here, will ya?

I wanna offer you a job.

Hey, hey, J-Johnny, wait up, wait up.

JOHNNY: You can't escape

who you are, so just embrace it.

TYLOR: All I wanted to do was scare.

Ben?

Look, Tylor, I'm an adult now.

Time to go to work like a big boy

where I have spreadsheets funnier than you.

Uh, oh. BEN: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh! Whoa!

SULLEY: We can't stop going through doors

just because one doesn't work out.

(PANTING)

JOHNNY: You can't escape who you are.

Wait, Johnny. Johnny, Johnny, wait.

JOHNNY: So just embrace it. Uh, my family needs...

You pinky promised. (SCREAMS)

TYLOR: Johnny, Johnny.

Sorry, kid. You made your choice.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Johnny, Johnny, wait, wait, no.

You pinky promised.

You pinky promised! No. No, no, no, no, no, Wait!

(SCREAMS AND PANTS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Where is my lucky mitt? SULLEY Huh?

First the sugar packets and now this? Where is it?

Your what? M...M... My lucky mitt.

Mike. For the softball game against FearCo today

which you literally just told me about.

Hey, watch it, Mike. (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

Now, the mitt can't be that lucky

if Monsters, Inc., has never beaten FearCo.

Well, we're gonna beat 'em this time.

And just crush Johnny...

(SCOFFS) ...psychologically.

Now, Mike, Mike, this is a friendly game.

We're only restarting

the old softball tradition... (SCOFFS)

...because of the growing goodwill

between our two companies.

Friendly goodwill.

I know, Sulley. That's why I said "psychologically".

(KNOCKING AT DOOR) (BOTH GASP)

Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Excuse me?

Oh, Val. Great, thanks for coming by.

I've been meaning to...

I am so sorry about the other morning.

I shouldn't have gone into that laugh simulator,

I know that. Val,

what you did was incredible.

You're a natural.

You went beyond just telling jokes,

and you connected on a personal level.

Yeah, you really hit on somethin' there, Val.

So what do you say?

Would you like to work as a Jokester?

Oh, my gosh. Wow, I just... I don't know what to say.

SULLEY: Congrats, Val.

Yeah, we'll just get Tylor a new laugh assistant...

Oh, uh... ...and shuffle the deck.

Mmm. Tylor, right.

Uh, do you mind if I talk with him

before actually taking the job?

We promised to stay work buds forever.

Of course, communication with a partner is key.

Like, for example, wouldn't you like to know

if your partner set up a softball game

against your arch-nemesis? Huh?

You'd like to know, right?

All right. Tylor's gonna be thrilled for you.

Oh, totally, totally, totally, totally, totally.

We, uh, should get to the game.

The one I didn't know about.

VAL: Totally. Totally. Totally.

ROGER: ? The wheels on the bus go

? Spinny spin spin

? Roundy round round

? Spunny spin spun

? The wheels on the bus go

? Spunny spin spun

? Roundy round round... ?

So, I have some news to share.

(YAWNS)

Sorry, I... (YAWNS) I didn't sleep great.

I had the weirdest dream ever. Oh.

I briefly dabbled in dream interpretation. What was it?

Well, I was in, like, a room. Room.

And there were like doors...

Doors. Hmm. ...and I was chasing...

Somebody. Hmm.

You were chasing Johnny.

I wha... What? How did you know that?

I dabble.

That dream really messed with my head.

Well, it makes sense because he offered you a huge salary

that could help solve your family's money issues.

But I mean, you already said no to Johnny,

so... Exactly, I already said no, like I promised.

We're gonna stay work buds forever.

We, we pinky promised. (CHUCKLES)

We pinky promised, exactly. We pinky promised.

Yes, totally. Yeah, no, totally. Oh, totally, totally.

Totally, exactly, totally. Totally.

(MIKE SCATS)

All right, listen up. We're gonna destroy FearCo.

Make them cry and drink their tears

and the tears of their children.

"Why, Daddy? Why are they drinking my tears?

"Please, Daddy." (ROGER GIGGLES)

This is the first time I'm getting off a bus

to play softball.

What a milestone.

And Fritz, it's gonna be your first win too... What?

Take it down a notch, Mike.

Huh?

FearCo's not here yet.

Heh! Clearly those cowards are too scared to face us.

(HORN HONKING)

(MIKE COUGHS AND GAGS)

(CLANKS)

Hey, hey. What a day for softball, huh?

Ready for this, Sulley?

Hey, Weirdzowski.

(CHUCKLES) Hey there. Hello. (CHUCKLES)

Look at 'em wave. Waving like jerks do.

Friendly. Friendly.

Hey, Johnny. Good to see ya. Great day, huh?

Yessir, buddy

CUTTER: We need the bats, Chief.

(CHUCKLES) Well... (CHUCKLES)

I gotta warm up the team. Have a great game.

Oh, yeah. Good luck today, Wazowski.

Gorgeous day.

Gorgeous day for you to lose and cry about it

and me going, "Mmm, (CLICKS TONGUE)

"I love these yummy Johnny tears."

Love your intensity, Mike.

Never change.

Listen you, FearCo may be 39-0 against Monsters, Inc,

but this time we have me as a manager.

I read the entire book by Creepees coach

and Hall of Famer Stubby Lizzardo.

Wow.

Well, our coach read that book, too.

In fact, he wrote it.

STUBBY LIZZARDO: Yep, Johnny on first base,

and we'll be batting second. Yeah. (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

(GASPS)

Ah. Wow.

Stubby Lizzardo. The Big Stub.

What a mustache.

I was there the night you had three cardiac events

and you still went four for five with a home run.

Would you mind signing this?

Hey there, little slugger. There you go. (CHUCKLES)

Stay in school, listen to your mom and dad.

(COUGHS) Okay, bye, bye. (SNORTS)

Are you kidding me?

I'll never wash my face again.

ROZ: Wazowski!

Oh, great.

Where's your paperwork?

I don't owe you paperwork anymore, Roz.

Your line-up card.

(SCREAMS) Thank you, Cameron.

And remember, nobody eats

second base this time, eh?

Oh. JOHNNY: All right, let's go team.

Yay! Let's go, FearCo. FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS: Whoo!

Yeah! Bring on the bloodbath.

I like baths. (BARKS)

(GROANS)

TYLOR: Hey, where's Johnny?

I just wanted to, you know, like, check in with him.

Yeah, I haven't seen him. So, uh, listen...

Tylor, you're gonna be at shortstop.

Now, you played in high school.

You're good, right?

It's been a while, but, uh, I'm not bad.

Plus, I got my trusty bat right here,

Dr. Theresa Swingwell.

What's she a doctor of?

Homeruns.

So you're really, really good and you won't let me down.

Val, are you good?

Nope.

You're in the outfield.

Play ball!

JOHNNY: Strike him out, pitcher, strike him out. HAZEL: Let's go, Joy!

Cutter, the only thing you're gonna hit hard is middle age.

At least I don't pee when I sneeze.

Huh. Respect.

You're toast.

JOHNNY: Come on, buddy, swing and a-miss. (GRUNTS)

Ball.

FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS: (CHEERING) Nice! Come on!

JOHNNY: All right. Here we go, FearCo.

(SIGHS) Okay, Dr. Swingwell, we just need to hit a single

so that I can chat with Johnny.

(CLEARS THROAT) You know, it's so weird because I also had a weird dream

I was gonna mention, in which I was a Jokester. How weird is that?

(GRUNTS) (GRUNTS)

(PANTING) (GRUNTS)

(FEARCO MEMBERS CHEERING) ROZ: You're out.

Ah, son of a blowtorch.

Ah, nice catch.

Anyway, isn't that weird? Me, as a Jokester?

MIKE: Hey, Tuskmon, you're up.

Yeah. Uh, I... I... I have to...

Sorry, Val.

Okay. Good luck, Tylor.

Oh, and you too, Dr. Theresa Swingwell. Whoo-hoo!

CLAIRE: (CHUCKLING) Wow. You are top heavy, aren't you?

Yeah, it's my, my giant horns.

Which actually make my hands look smaller than they actually are.

Easy out. Walk it in.

(GRUNTS) HAZEL: Pitch it in there, Joy!

I'm gonna out-coach the legend with his own book.

(COUGHS AND SNORTS)

SULLEY: Whoo! Let's go, Tuskmon.

Tuskmon. Hey, Tuskmon, hey.

Come on, we can't lose 40 years straight.

Put it right past him. Put it right past him. Swing, batter, swing.

Here comes the heat. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(ALL CHEERING) (GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

ROZ: Safe. Whoo!

Yes! This is good for us. Way to go, way to go.

Wait a second. Maybe that's what he wants us to think.

ROZ: Strike one.

(COUGHS) Nice hit.

Oh, Johnny. Hey, I, uh... (CHUCKLES)

I didn't even know you were here.

So, uh, how are ya? ROZ: Strike two.

Good. Uh, good.

Good, good, good.

Good, good. Super good

Strike three. Huh?

ROZ: You're out.

So, uh, listen... Come on, Joy!

JOHNNY: Strike Big Blue out. (SCOFFS)

JOY: You got it, boss. (GRUNTS)

Thanks again for the... The tour, by the way.

I... I... I hope things aren't awkward between us?

Nope.

Good. Super good.

(SNORTS AND SPITS) Fire in the hole.

Strike. Huh?

What? (GROANS)

I'm... I'm actually rethinking some of my options, you know?

Like, I... I didn't realize how much I might

actually want the job, you know?

Well, I had to move on.

Sorry, kid. I hired someone else.

Oh, you... You already hired someone else?

His name is Skyler. He's an impressive guy.

Well, I would love to meet him.

HAZEL: Whoo! (GRUNTS) Run, Tylor!

And you will if you run to second. Huh? Oh.

Run. Run!

SKYLER: Throw it to Skyler. (GRUNTS)

(PANTING) So, you're, uh, the new Scarer, huh?

Hey, I'm Skyler.

I like scaring kids, you know?

Uh-huh, yeah, I know, I know.

I... I... I don't recognize you.

Did you go to school for it or...

For softball? No.

No. Ah. Okay.

CUTTER: What do you say, Monsters? Let's go.

Uh, you might wanna scooch over.

Oh.

First time?

Oh, yes. I wanna take in this moment.

Strike one. Huh?

Hold it, everybody. That was my first strike.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah! For posterity.

Fritz, Fritz. You gotta swing. You gotta swing.

Oh, like this?

CUTTER: Yeah! My boy! (ALL CHEERING)

Nice one! Whoo! CUTTER: Yeah, kill this one!

SANDERSON: Yay!

Fritz, run! Run all the way home.

Home? Why?

Did I leave the iron on? Oh, no!

(SIGHS)

Look at that. We're up 3-0. Who needs a lucky mitt?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess not.

You were right. This is friendly.

(GULPS) Or is it? Hmm.

(SNIFFLES AND SPITS)

Here comes the ol' tentacle curve!

(FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS CHEERING)

I got it. (GRUNTS)

ROZ: You're out. (GASPS)

Hey, great catch, Donut Head.

Can you believe Johnny hired that guy instead of me?

JOY: Come on now, Skyler, you got it. (SNIFFS)

Uh, but Johnny can't hire you for a job you turned down.

That'd be weird.

It's driving me crazy. (GRUNTS) HAZEL: Let's go, let's go.

JOHNNY: Go, FearCo.

Speaking of jobs,

I'm actually thinking about trying to become a Jokester

and... What? We're work buds.

We can't... We can't break that up.

I mean, speaking from experience,

becoming a Jokester isn't something you just think about, you know?

It's hard work, comedy classes, auditions,

(CHUCKLES) lots of auditions.

I mean, you know it... It'd be a long shot.

"Long shot"? Why?

Let's go! (GASPS)

Crush him!

I mean, really squish that guy.

Oh, it's doopsie doodle time. (GRUNTS)

(FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS CHEERING) JOHNNY: Oh!

Got you now. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) Whoa! JOHNNY: I can't believe it. You're the best.

Whoa! (LAUGHS)

(GASPS) No! CHET: Yeah, do it.

(PANTING) JOY: All right now.

Come on, hurry up, Sulley. (GRUNTS)

CHET: You got it, you got it. Skyler scores.

ROZ: Safe.

(GRUNTS) (TYLOR SIGHS)

(CHUCKLING) Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Great work, kid.

Oh, hey, I'm Skyler.

Kid? He's not "kid". I'm kid.

FEARCO TEAM MEMBER: All right! (CHUCKLES)

Okay, okay, they scored. And I'll allow it

because they have the genius Stubby Lizzardo over there,

and he's my hero. Look at him. Nothing fazes him.

Is he okay, actually?

Now, listen, we've made some errors

with potentially huge consequences.

(COUGHS AND CLEARS THROAT)

But we can still win this.

Now let's step on their throats.

But in a friendly way.

(GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES)

Oh. That looked like it smarted.

Good eye. (GROANS)

(SCOFFS AND SIGHS) Hmm. (SNIFFLES)

(SPITS)

(GRUNTS)

Everyone back up. Back it up. Huge hitter coming in.

(GRUNTS)

Out. Huh?

And you thought the cone was embarrassing.

Aw.

(JOY GRUNTS)

ROGER: Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whoopsie-doodle. (GRUNTS)

Oh. Ah. Aw, I'm out. Am I?

(GRUNTS) Strike.

Ha!

(GRUNTS) You're out.

(GRUNTS)

ROZ: Out! Whoa.

(GRUNTS) (CHUCKLING) Yeah.

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

ROZ: Out. (GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS AND GRUNTS) (GROANS)

(GRUNTS AND GROANS)

Batter can't hit. Strike her out.

But that's Mommy.

Oh, I know.

(GRUNTS)

Got it, got it. Ha!

You're out.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(YELPS)

I'm Skyler. FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS: Yeah! Yay! Do it!

CHET: Yeah!

(GRUNTS) Come on! Hmm.

Uh...

This base is dirty.

(GROANS)

You know, just because I'm not playing

doesn't mean I'm not needed.

My mom told me that.

(GRUNTS) (CHEERING)

ROZ: Out.

(DECLAN GRUNTS)

JOY: You got it, boss. Out.

(GRUNTS) Oh! Out.

You're out, again. (GRUNTS)

It's all part of his plan. We're doomed. We're doomed.

Your stoic silence reminds me of my father.

Let me guess, you're not mad, you're just disappointed.

Smooch ball. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

You and this fire are out.

(COUGHS)

(FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS CHEERING)

Uh, okay we have a second. Look, I really need

to talk to you about this Jokester thing.

HAZEL: Yeah!

TYLOR AND VAL: I got it, I got it. (GRUNTS)

I go... (GROANS)

Oh. (GROANS)

I got it. (GRUNTS)

JOY: Whoo-hoo!

HAZEL: Let's go, FearCo. FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS: Do it!

Val! I could have gotten that. Tylor!

I said I got it.

Oh, great. Now we're losing.

Not if you don't look at the score.

Come on, team. We're gettin' our butts whipped out there.

This is why we need my lucky mitt.

We just need to communicate.

Friendly, huh?

All right, we already have two outs.

Tylor, you're up. Please don't get out.

(SIGHS)

No witty observations for me?

(CHUCKLING) I can tell you're already in your head.

(GRUNTING)

ROZ: Strike.

(GROANS) HAZEL: Hey, batter, batter.

HAZEL: Swing. (CHUCKLES)

Strike two.

(SIGHS)

(INHALES)

(GRUNTS AND SPITS)

(GRUNTS) (GRUNTS)

(MONSTERS TEAM MEMBERS CHEERING)

SULLEY: Yeah, whoo-hoo, great hit.

No, stay at first. Stay at first.

Hey, hey, throw it to Skyler's mitt.

Slide, slide, slide!

(GRUNTS)

Safe.

(MONSTERS TEAM MEMBERS CHEERING) Whoa, ho, ho, ho. Yeah!

(GRUNTS) Yes!

(ALL GASP)

Oh.

Oh, whoa, oh, I'm so sorry.

(GROANS) Uh, are you okay, Skyler?

I'm okay Skyler. (GROANS) Okay, good, good.

Yeah, he's good, he's fine.

He's out.

Whoa, whoa! Hey, come on.

I thought this was a friendly game.

FearCo needs a sub.

Okay, okay.

Johnny, in the spirit of a friendly game,

you can pick any of our players to jump onto your team

Unless someone wants me to play.

(CHUCKLES) Anyone?

"I want Chet to play." Did you hear that?

(GROANS) I think that's a great idea,

somebody else. (GROANS)

Okay, I keep bringing this up, but I have to come clean.

I didn't dream about being a Jokester.

I didn't think about being a Jokester.

I actually have a job offer to be a Jokester.

Huh? Wait, so, wow. So ho-ho-hold on. So you auditioned to...

Well, it wasn't an official audition,

it was, like, an accident, well, I mean, I was there,

if that makes sense, and they saw me.

And you're just telling me about this now?

I've been trying to tell you all day.

I... Hey, Tylor.

What do you say? You wanna play for FearCo?

Oh. Uh, yeah, I'd love to.

Uh, Tylor, we're still talking. Ugh. (GROANS)

So you want me at third, right?

Oh, no, no, no.

I've got something much better.

I want you to pitch for us. Joy, would you mind?

No, all yours. Break a horn. (CHUCKLES)

Uh... And look who's up to bat.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(GROANS) JOHNNY: She can't hit.

You got this? (SIGHS)

CLAIRE: Come on, tiny hands. Throw some strikes.

HAZEL: All right, guys. Whoo!

What? Come on, Val, hit the ball!

Come on, we can't lose 40 years straight.

Hit the ball. Hit the ball, come on.

Uh-huh. (GROANS)

(SIGHS)

Wow, best friends facing off for the game.

So much pressure.

Oh, it's making my voice crack.

Can you hear that? Huh?

Come on, Val. Choke up on the bat.

Make him choke. Uh.

Sorry, Tylor.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Strike one. Ugh.

How did Stubby know he could pitch?

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Whee!

I hit it. Foul. Strike two.

JOY: Yeah!

(GRUNTS)

Outside.

Oh, I can't watch this. It hurts the heart. Eh.

(GRUNTS)

Ball.

Come on, let's wrap it up.

(GRUNTS) Whoa!

Skyler's startin' to feel bett... (GROANS)

We got a full count.

(GRUNTS)

Let her rip, kid.

(GRUNTS)

You pinky promised!

(PANTING)

Ah-ha! (CHUCKLES)

You're out.

FRITZ: Oh. MONSTERS TEAM MEMBERS: Oh.

Yeah. FearCo for the win. Way to go, guys.

FEARCO TEAM MEMBERS: Tylor! Tylor! Tylor! Tylor!

CLAIRE: Yeah! Tiny hands with the big win.

ALL: Tylor! Tylor! Tylor!

(SIGHS) Oh.

(CRIES) We're 0-40. 0-40!

Good game, Coach.

(SNORES)

Hmm? Whoa. (CONTINUES SNORING)

Oh, no. Not again, Chet.

(CHUCKLES) Great game, kid.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, do you... Do you think, um,

because I'm, I'm, I'm kinda part of the, the team

that, that maybe we could chat about the,

you know, the... The job that you...

Sorry, kid. You made your choice.

(SIGHS)

Hey, Mrs. Worthington. Great game.

Kids, did you see your Mom out there?

My first loss. (INHALES SHARPLY) Sigh.

My condolences.

(MIKE SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Sorry I got a little competitive.

Hey, listen, there's always next year.

Until then, at least I got the autograph of a Hall of Famer.

It looks great, buddy.

Also, uh, here,

I got you a new lucky mitt.

I asked Stubby if I could have it.

And he didn't say no.

MIKE: Thank you, Sulley.

It's clammy!

Just like I always imagined.

You know, I sorta had trouble figuring out

which team you were really playing for. (SCREAMS) Oh.

Hey. (CHUCKLES)

Thought you were gonna... Thought you were gonna take my head off back there.

(CHUCKLES)

That just, uh, just got... Got intense, right?

Totally.

You, uh, played well out there, partner.

Mmm-hmm. Thanks.

(SIGHS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(GASPS) Play ball!

(COUGHS) Hey, who took my mitt?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

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