Original subtitles

["NAILS, HAIR, HIPS, HEELS" PLAYING]

Okay, love that. Okay, look at me. Now give me angles.

No! Not that one.

Oh, not that one. Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry.

Okay, now look generous.

Generous. Generous.

You're giving away all of your money.

More generous. Gorgeous.

Perfect. Yes!

That's too generous! Grace, change your mouth.

[GRACE] Mmm? [GRUNTING] Is that... Is that all right?

Okay, we're gonna do a different lighting setup.

Why don't you ladies take five?

- Wonderful job. Thank you. - Oh.

- Felt sexy. - It felt good.

- Yeah, I love that feeling. Mmm. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. You both look incredible.

Now who wants a slap in the face for some color?

- [CHUCKLES] - Oh, Nicholas, that is so thoughtful,

but I think I'm still numb from the last time.

[CHUCKLES] Wait, Molly, finish your story.

- Yes. - Okay, so you're at Arthur's house...

Yes, and things just got really intense.

Like, he started touching me with his hands.

Boobs, butt or front?

- Hip. - Oh, hip touch.

That is the best.

I had a dream that Steve Harvey had me by the hips.

- I like a mustache. Yeah. - Surface. [GROANS]

But then my phone buzzed, and the moment was ruined.

I still don't know what's happening.

What's happening is that he's in love with you.

Exactly.

He's gonna be inside of you in, like, 24 hours tops. Trust me.

You are so caring.

Can I just say, I love how dirty Nicholas talks to you.

I've got to get Louise to do that for me.

Louise, give me a dirty compliment.

Your tits look great.

- Yay, Louise! [CHUCKLES] - Okay, that was amazing.

[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING]

- [SONG ENDS] - [AINSLEY] They're here.

Everyone, they're here.

[SQUEALS] This is so exciting.

Hot off the presses.

[MOLLY] Ooh.

[ARTHUR] Oh, wow.

- Molly, you look like a supermodel. - [GASPS] Oh. [SIGHING]

Do quit your day job.

Thank you, Arthur.

It's mostly the makeup and my striking, expressive eyes.

"Wells and Fences aren't just giving all their money away,

they're trying to take the whole class system down from the inside."

[MOLLY] Oh, Sofia, the Vanity Fair article came out.

We're all talking about how good I look.

Uh, the cover looks great, but something bigger just came up.

Are you and Isaac getting back together?

No, but thank you for bringing up my very difficult breakup.

- Anytime, dear. - [SIGHS]

Norman Lofton just reached out to us.

He wants to take a tour of one of our Space for Everyone locations.

- Holy shit. Norman Lofton? - [SOFIA] Mm-hmm.

I've never met him. He's, like, ten times richer than even me.

They call him the Wizard of Wyoming.

He's a financial genius.

[GASPS] Maybe he'll give me some advice.

REMINDER: Ask Norman how to pay taxes.

He never leaves Wyoming. This could be huge.

If he decides to fund us,

we wouldn't need any other donors to go national.

Wow. This guy's really down-to-earth.

He drives a 20-year-old Camry, and eats the same hamburger every day.

Why do we celebrate being down-to-earth?

I'm on Earth right now, and looking around the room, everyone sucks.

Bring me to the skies, baby!

Guys, this is it.

Norman's our whale.

This is our big chance.

We need to put on a show and blow him away,

and everyone needs to keep their fucking cool.

Ooh. "Jude Law's Second Act." This is an article I have to read.

He almost quit acting?

I once masturbated to The Holiday so many times,

they had to take me to the ER.

- [HOWARD] Oh. - What's for lunch?

Norman should be landing any minute.

He usually takes the bus, but I convinced him to take one of my jets

to save 17 hours.

FYI, I just got waxed, so I can do anything to help with Norman.

Okay, so we have a little bit of a situation right now.

There are currently three catastrophic wildfires happening in LA

which are causing what they are calling a "hell-storm cyclone."

So there might be a little bit of turbulence.

Oh, but a little bit of turbulence isn't so bad, right?

- [RHONDA] No. - [ARTHUR] Oh, is that him?

Ooh, what a pretty jet.

Here they come.

[ALL SCREAMING, GASPING]

- Holy fuck! - He's gonna die.

- We'll never forget this moment! - [NICHOLAS] Oh, my God.

- [AINSLEY EXCLAIMS] - [NICHOLAS] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay. Okay, he's all right. He's all right. [CHUCKLES]

- [ALL GASPING, SCREAMING] - He's fucked.

They'll have to identify him through teeth.

[ALL CLAMORING]

[NICHOLAS SIGHS] Okay.

Okay. He's all right. He made it.

Thank God he made it.

Yeah, we're good. Okay, he's fine.

- Oh, there he is. - [SOFIA] Oh.

- Hi! Welcome, Norman. - Hi.

We're gonna have such a fun weekend.

[ALL GROANING]

- Ew! Ew! - Oh, God.

- [ARTHUR] Oh. - Uh-oh.

So, Norman is back at his hotel resting.

Good news is, he is not concussed. [CHUCKLES]

He's just banged around a little bit.

[CHUCKLES] Been there before. Am I right, girlies?

Rhonda, please. None of that. All right?

We are in a big hole now.

- [CHUCKLES] - [MOLLY] Don't.

So we have to go above and beyond. This isn't a regular tour anymore.

Nope. This is now "Norma-palooza," okay?

David Chang is making his favorite hamburger.

I paid off a children's choir to ditch Kamala's birthday,

and now they're coming here to sing all of Norman's favorite songs.

Nicholas, Howard, stock every room in this entire building with Coke.

It's his favorite.

On it. I will text my dealer and she will take care of us.

No problem.

Oh, you meant Coca-Cola?

- Yeah. - Right.

Okay, well, I'll still get some for me.

Don't do that. Guys, this is just a bump in the road.

- I want a bump in the road. - [MOLLY] No!

We got this. All right, everybody in, okay?

We can do this.

- And break. - [ALL] Break!

That's great. Thank you, guys, so much. Thank you.

- Redecorating? - It's the Wyoming state flower.

Do you think it'll make up for all the vomiting?

It's worth a shot, maybe. [CHUCKLES]

Um, hey, I was actually looking for you.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

I, um... I just wanted to talk to you about the other day

where we kind of had a, you know, "moment"...

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

... where we kinda "almost" kissed.

I don't know why I just put "almost" in air quotes. [CHUCKLES]

"Sorry."

It's okay. [STAMMERS]

To be honest, I've been thinking about it a lot too.

Oh, good.

[BOTH] Yeah.

I, um...

I just want to apologize because that was a big mistake.

Oh, "mistake"? Like, um... [CLICKS TONGUE]

Like in the traditional sense of the word?

Like a... Like a negative thing?

Well, yeah. I just... I don't...

Honestly... [STAMMERS] ... I don't know what I was thinking.

I have a girlfriend, and you're my boss and we're really good friends.

- I just got caught up in the moment. - Yeah.

And, uh, it was inappropriate and I apologize.

Oh. [SCOFFS] Apology accepted.

And you know what's funny?

This would be a beautiful place to kiss,

but we won't do that because of all the reasons we agree upon.

- Thank you. - [SCOFFS]

I knew you would be awesome about this.

I think I was just overly nervous.

- So we're cool? - Oh, my God.

We are so cool.

I'm Mr. Freeze, baby.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

[IMITATING ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER] Everybody chill.

- [NORMAL VOICE] I've never seen the movie. - I... I saw it once.

- I'm gonna go. [CLEARS THROAT] - Okay.

OMG, Sofia.

Look at all we accomplished this year.

We helped so many people.

Yes, we did.

- Thank you, Ainsley. - Oh.

Listen, I know I don't get to say this to you enough,

but I really appreciate the work you're doing and...

Okay, you're already crying.

Sorry. It's just because your words mean so much to me because...

I find you so inspiring, Sofia.

Oh, thank you.

It's incredible how you always put others before yourself,

your well-being, your personal life, your happiness.

Spending all day helping the less fortunate,

and then going home to a cold, empty apartment,

warmed only by the knowledge that you did your best

to make the world a better place.

A world that you're destined to heroically

walk through completely alone.

Jesus Christ.

Yes. You are like him.

And much like him, no one will ever truly know you.

Okay, I get your point. You don't have to say anything else.

All right.

Rhonda went into a closet with two of the workers earlier.

I'm gonna bring them some cookies.

Come on, Howard.

Come on, Howard.

Come on.

- [EXHALES SHARPLY] Thank God. [SIGHS] - [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Hey, man. I just got this really weird voicemail.

It's from some old lady speaking Korean at me.

- Can you translate for me? - Oh, I would be happy to.

Mmm. Please call, it's very important.

- I've been looking for you for a while. - What the hell does that mean?

Nicholas, it's an older Korean woman who's been looking for you.

[STAMMERS] I think this could be your birth mommy.

What else could it be?

What are you gonna do about this?

Nothing.

Uh, don't worry about it. Just, um, finish building that pyramid, okay?

- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] - It was finished.

Hi. Welcome, Mr. Lofton. We're so happy you're here.

Please, call me Norm. Everybody.

This is beautiful.

You didn't set all this up just for me, did you?

Yes, of course, we did. We're so flattered that you came.

And David Chang has made your favorite hamburgers.

Thank you, young man,

but my stomach still hasn't settled from the flight.

Jesus Christ, David Chang. You have the worst timing imaginable.

Get that shit out of here.

What do you want me to do with these? I spent a long time making them.

Take it to I-don't-give-a-fuck-istan. Scram. Move, bitch.

Uh, Norm, I'd like to introduce you

to our Executive Director, Sofia Salinas.

She's the beating heart of this place.

[NORM] So nice to meet you.

You must be so proud. How many folks do you have living here?

[SMACKS LIPS] Um...

I'm... I'm sorry, I'm-I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one.

Oh, that's okay.

How long does it take to convert a building like this?

I'm not exactly sure.

Uh, it took us about eight months,

but we think we can get it down to four.

- [NORM] Wow. - Would you excuse me for a second, Norm?

Sure.

Um, guys, why don't you show Norm our models?

I'm just gonna go over there and chat with Sofia for a second.

You know how women are.

Sofia.

Don't you follow me. You need to get back out there.

That guy's worth, like, a trillion dollars.

I'm just worried about you. Those were easy questions.

I know, but I can't stop thinking about Isaac. Fuck! Fucking emotions.

Sofia, stop feeling. [EXHALES SHARPLY]

It's okay. It's okay.

- I just... I don't understand. - [SIGHS]

I mean, things seemed to be going so well between you two.

What... What happened?

There were so many reasons why we would never work out.

He's a dreamer. I'm practical. He's a vegan. I'm not annoying.

- The list goes on and on. - [MOUTHING] Yeah.

We're just completely different people.

- I did the right thing. - Okay.

Do you love him?

[CLICKS TONGUE, SCOFFS]

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I do.

Then none of those things matter,

because there will always be a million reasons

why something won't work.

But if you love someone, then you just have to take the leap.

Thank you for following me here. [INHALES DEEPLY]

Oh, my God. You initiated a hug.

[CHUCKLES, INHALES SHARPLY] I'm putting this in my journal.

- Just get out there. - [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

? Highway to the Norman zone ?

? I'll take you right into the Lofton zone ?

[CHEERING]

Molly, I gotta hand it to you. I love your whole deal here.

Citizenship classes, job training.

You're really helping people get a leg up.

Very impressive.

Well, the team did all the work. I owe them all the credit.

Now, just you and me talking: you've made a lot of big promises.

Do you really intend to follow through on all of this?

I really wanna walk the walk.

Okay.

I always sleep on every big decision,

but you really made an impact today.

Definitely be in touch.

Thanks, Norm. [CHUCKLES]

Guys, I think we did it.

It sounds like he's in.

- [CHUCKLES] I'm so proud of us! - [ALL CHEERING, CHUCKLING]

- ? Highway to the Norman zone ? - Let's get drunk in front of these kids!

? I'll take you right into the Lofton zone ?

[SIGHS] Oh, now I can do it.

[CHUCKLES] Hey, there he is.

Wowie Howie.

Ooh. No one's ever said my name with a spin before.

This is an incredible start to a conversation.

Hey, you remember that voicemail that I got?

Remember it? I've thought of nothing else.

Tell me if you think this is stupid, but what if I just called it back?

You know, just for fun?

I don't think that's stupid at all. I think that's wondrous.

I knew you'd understand.

I mean, what's the big deal? I'm just calling a phone number back.

- It's the polite thing to do. - Exactly.

So, let's just get a little bit more to drink,

and then we'll just hit her back.

Why not? It's only 1:00 a.m. in Korea. She'll be up for a while.

Hmm. Absolutely.

["BLOCK ROCKIN' BEATS" PLAYING]

[NICHOLAS] Okay, now let's do this.

[LINE RINGING]

Oh, God, what should I say?

Just let your emotions rip.

Right, right. [EXCLAIMS] Voicemail.

Uh, hello. It's me, N-Nicholas.

I'm American, I'm hot, and I'm all grown up. [CHUCKLES]

What's up, mami? [CHUCKLES]

What's popping on that peninsula?

Is this feeling too informal to you?

Maybe less Mario.

- [LINE BEEPS] - Yeah, I grew up on a farm,

and a lot of people think that's boring, but I was fine.

I had one gay mentor growing up.

His name was Tommy,

- and he was a rooster. - [LINE BEEPS]

[SOBBING] I'm sorry I'm getting so emotional,

but The Shape of Water is so bad.

I... How did it win an Oscar?

[SOBS] Call Me By Your Name was right there!

- [LINE BEEPS] - Ted Masters, Luis Delgado,

Aaron Chang, Ted Masters Jr., Ted Masters III, and...

No, yeah, that's pretty much every guy I've ever slept with.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Nailed it.

- Another shot? - [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

[HOWARD CHUCKLES, SIGHS]

Mmm. Mmm.

[MELLOW POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[BOTH WHINE]

I'm sorry, ladies. I know you prefer Acqua Panna.

[BOTH GROWL]

Miss Molly, this just came for you.

[HOWARD] Mm-mmm, no. [GROANS] Mmm.

No. Get away from me, Shape of Water monster!

Oh, I feel terrible.

Uh, was I dreaming,

or did we really leave 50 voicemails for some woman in Korea?

Mmm, no, we definitely did.

And I definitely told her about my night in Berlin,

and I think I sent her photos.

No one should ever see those. You could get arrested for those.

- God. - [PHONE BUZZING]

Oh, my God, she's calling right now.

You need to turn your phone off. Throw it in the garbage.

[WHIMPERS]

- Hello? - Is this Nicholas?

Yeah.

I think there was some kind of miscommunication.

My name is Jung Hee. I'm a casting director in Seoul.

I've been trying to contact you about auditioning for a role.

Oh.

We're making a new show.

It's like Squid Game, but much more violent and sexual.

We have a big role called "Beautiful Asshole American."

Would you be interested?

If you get it, you have to move to Korea for six months.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, wow.

I, um...

I'm gonna have to think about that.

We'll send you the information.

Thank you.

Hi. I'm here to see Norm. I'm Molly.

I like your black leather gloves.

Those are very in right now.

Oh, wow. This is a surprise.

Norm lives here?

I didn't think of him as a 50-foot-chandelier kind of guy.

Oh, are those gargoyles?

Wow, those are pretty scary.

Or maybe a little sexy? I don't know.

I talk too much when I'm nervous.

Do you do that?

You don't talk at all.

[STAMMERS] Do you want me to go through there?

Yep. Okay.

What the hell?

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

[LEADER] Enter. Stand before us.

Oh, God.

[LEADER] Your activities threaten our way.

You must cease them immediately.

What?

Obey our command,

or you will face the most dire of consequences.

Where'd she go?

[ALL MURMURING]

What the fuck is going on?

What are you guys doing?

Norm, is that you?

I know it's you. I recognize your voice.

Just take off your mask.

Would it have killed you just to play along a little longer?

We put a lot of effort into this.

What are you talking about? What is all this?

You need to stop your bullshit.

"We shouldn't exist"?

Are you out of your goddamn mind?

I meant that.

I have way too much money.

[ALL MURMURING]

Everybody in this room has more money than you,

and we couldn't disagree more.

There's a way things work, and we're all happy with it.

There's no reason to upset the natural order of things.

No, I reject that.

Oh, come on. Get over yourself.

We'll get you a hood and a mask, and you can be a part of it.

We have our own island in Hawaii.

Nobody knows about it.

There's a waterslide that goes directly into the ocean.

So refreshing.

I don't wanna be in your stupid group.

The world is changing.

People's eyes are opening.

And what kind of operation are you running here anyway?

I mean, it's pathetic. I mean, that guy's wearing Crocs.

[MASKED FIGURE] I have bone spurs.

We had to get this together quickly.

You know what?

Me and Grace are gonna start our own group,

and we're going to find people

- who actually care about humanity. - [LAUGHING]

What are you laughing at?

Uh, Grace?

[INHALES SHARPLY] Hey, Mols.

Cute dress.

What are you doing here?

[STUTTERS, SIGHS] Look, I know this looks bad,

but they explained things to me last night and it...

it just really makes sense.

They are super powerful.

They're giving me a news station and a soccer team.

Those guys were so cute. [CHUCKLES]

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

Molly, you told me to find my own path.

I mean, with these guys on my side,

I won't ever have to feel small or weak again.

Grace, we were friends.

We've been through a lot together.

You told me about your IBS.

I don't have IBS. I said I own IBM. I own IBM.

Look, you and me, we could walk out of here right now

and continue with our plan.

Fuck these old white guys. They're not gonna stop us.

Sorry, Molly.

I just...

love money.

[MOLLY] Excuse me.

[PHONE BUZZES]

[NORM] Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe who's on way.

Ellen DeGeneres. Nice.

[ALL MURMURING]

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

If you're here for the show, you've gotta move all the way in.

Oh, you know what? I... I can just watch from here.

That's a fire hazard, ma'am.

Please make your way to the floor.

Okay. [CHUCKLES] Excuse me.

Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. [CHUCKLES] Excuse me.

Excuse me, sir. Sorry about that. Excu... Ooh.

Excuse me. Uh, excuse me. [CHUCKLES] Thank you.

- Excuse me. - Hey, hey.

- Sofia, what are you doing here? - [MUSIC STOPS]

Oh, uh, we don't have to do this now.

- You should keep playing. - No, I... I think you two should talk.

He's pretty broken up over this bird.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Well, this is a surprise.

I'm... I'm sorry I'm a little late.

I thought you had work.

I did.

I was on the verge of accomplishing

everything I ever wanted in my life,

but once you were gone, none of it meant anything.

Look, I'm so sorry. And I... I made so many mistakes.

And if you just give me another chance, I promise I won't...

- [CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING] - Whoo!

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

I was so afraid I was gonna miss the show.

It's jazz. We've got another three hours.

God. Well, can I just meet you back at the hotel?

No.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[PHONE BUZZES]

[KNOCKING]

- Molly. - Hi.

I know it's late. I'm sorry.

I, um... I just had the weirdest, craziest night of my life,

and, um, I need to get something off my chest. Okay?

I... I know that we had that conversation earlier,

and I know that there's a million reasons

why it would never work out between us,

but I know that we f-feel something for each other.

And when two people have a connection like that,

I think that they owe it to each other to go for it.

So, um... So here I am,

and I can't believe that I showed up here

in the middle of the night like a psycho... [CHUCKLES]

... but, um, I'm not backing off.

In fact, I'm doubling down, and, um...

and I'm... I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna put my hands around you

and I'm gonna lean in, and here we go.

Oh, my God, this is happening.

[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]

Arthur, what's going on?

["RING THE ALARM" PLAYING]

Please, please slow down.

You know I love the drama of this,

but I do not understand what's happening right now.

I don't want to talk about it.

Jet engines, on.

Okay. For the last time, the jet is not voice-activated.

Oh, my God, there's oil all over the Valentino!

[MOLLY SIGHS]

What are we doing?

I want you to get me out of here.

- As far away as possible. - Where do you wanna go?

Anywhere! You decide. I give up.

Um, okay.

Uh, you, sky lady, we need to get her some alcohol,

like, right now, okay?

Or actually something stronger than alcohol.

Like, maybe something you put in your eyeballs.

Like heroin, but not heroin.

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