Original subtitles

So, like, where are your wings?

Niffty, I don't have...

{an8}Did you ever think maybe she's sensitive

{an8}about her lack of wings,

just like her lack of tits?

Yeah. Where are your tits?

Any other questions?

I got one.

{an8}How come every time Charlie talks to Heaven

{an8} we get in deeper and deeper shit?

{an8}It's not her fault.

{an8}Angels are just...

{an8}- Liars? - ...difficult

{an8}But Charlie's trying her best.

Yeah, well, her best is turning out real well so far.

And where is miss fearless leader anyway?

Isn't it about time for another "doomed-to-fail" plan?

She's upstairs.

Coming up with something, I'm sure,

in our room.

Alone.

Hmm.

Oh, Charlie, you look an absolute mess.

Ugh, go away, Alastor.

Now, now, is that any way to act after picking a fight with all of Heaven and

and dooming everyone you love?

I have enough on my mind

without hearing your sadistic idea of a joke, asshole.

Who's joking?

Aaagh!

You have a captive audience downstairs waiting to hear

what kind of inspiring performance you have planned next.

Ugh, I can't.

How can I face them after failing them all so hard?

They came here to be saved and all I gave them was more pain.

I'm just as bad as the cruelest Overlord in Hell.

And maybe worse.

At least they don't go around giving false hope.

Well, I never expected to see such a miserable display

of self-loathing from you.

Oh, fuck you, Alastor.

All you do is stand there, smiling while you watch us struggle and fail.

I don't know how you can enjoy all this suffering so much.

Just because you see a smile,

don't think you know what's going on underneath.

A smile is a valuable tool, my dear.

It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing,

and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

But I'm not.

I'm the farthest thing from in control.

The person I trust most has been lying to me for years.

Heaven refuses to listen.

Even if they did, I can't prove the hotel works.

Adam has an invincible exorcist Army pointed right at my doorstep

and there's nothing I can do

about any of it.

I know something you don't know.

Huh?

Those big, scary angels are not quite as indestructible as they seem.

What are you talking about?

Just that you and your little band of misfits

might stand more of a chance than you think.

How? I'll do anything.

Anything?

Then... let's make a deal.

You...

You want my soul?

Your soul?

Heavens, no.

All I need from you is one itty bitty favor.

What's a favor between friends?

I won't hurt anyone for you.

Who's asking! One favor, at a time of my choosing,

here you harm no one.

In return, I tell you what I know.

Do we have a deal?

Deal.

No. No!

Right on cue!

What did you do? Let her go!

- Vaggie, Stop! - What?

No, Charlie, please tell me you didn't...

I made a deal with Alastor.

Charlie.

Oh, calm down.

She still owns her soul.

He gave me info that can save the hotel, but we're going to need help.

The angels can be defeated, and Carmilla is the key.

What? Carmilla Carmine?

She killed an exorcist in the last extermination.

She knows how they can be harmed.

But...

I... I didn't even know that was possible.

If you did, would you have told me?

Charlie, I...

I need you to go to her, convince her to teach us.

If she can, we might have a chance.

With just the seven of us?

No, we're...

ugh, we're going to need numbers too.

And I know just who can help.

As long as Charlie can be her normal, charming self.

What's that you said about smiles?

Good girl.

Charlie, can we talk about this...

We can talk later. Right now,

we have a job to do.

You with us?

Ugh.

So, uh, Alastor and Charlie just left

like they were runnin' away from their responsibilities.

Should we be alarmed?

No.

We have a plan,

but it includes defending ourselves against the angels.

Uh! Are you fucking high?

- They can be killed... - Yeah.

That knife lady, Camaro Carfight, killed one!

Wait. You knew about this?

Oh, yeah.

I told Boss about it months ago.

He what?

What? They say insane shit all the time.

How was I supposed to know this one was true?

Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government.

See!

What's important now is that we're gonna have a fight on our hands.

Look, this hotel's about to become the most dangerous place in Hell, and we...

I... can't guarantee your safety anymore.

I still believe in Charlie's dream.

I know this place can work... but none of you signed up for this.

I'm going to go learn how we can fight back.

But when I come home...

Well I'll understand. if none of you are here.

Well, this is awkward.

'Kay!

Three years.

Three years I've been sharing my life with her.

And I tell her everything.

My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits.

What fucking deodorant I like.

And she keeps something like this from me.

Why would she lie for so long? Does she think I wouldn't accept her?

What about me, ME, says un understanding...

misunderstanding?

Disunder... Wait, w-where are we?

Cannibal Town!

There's a friend of mine I think you should meet.

In Cannibal Town? But it's...

It's... surprisingly nice here.

Isn't it, though?

And it's all thanks to a very special someone.

Well, who hasn't thought about eating their first husband?

I certainly would have if he didn't taste so bad!

Haha!

I tell you what.

You bring old, tall, dark and armless to me,

and I'll straighten them right out, okay sweetie? Now here's my card and...

Oh my stars. Do my eyes deceive me?

Alastor? Alastor!

Where have you been?

These halls really lost some of their sparkle without your lively presence and...

Oh. Who's this you brought with you?

Come now, Alastor, She's much too young for you.

Oh, I'm just kidding.

- I know you're an ace in the hole. - A what now?

But where are your manners Mister?

Introduce us, why don't you?

Ah, yes, Charlie. This is Rosie.

The most darling, delightful, and dangerous Overlord

this side of the pentagram.

Oh, always such a charmer.

And, Rosie,

It's my pleasure to introduce you to Princess Charlie Morningstar,

daughter of Lucifer and heir to the throne of Hell.

How do you do?

Well, well, isn't this a regal surprise?

Come in, come in.

Can I offer you something to eat?

I'm sure I have a leg around here or something.

Oh, what am I thinking? Small thing, like you.

You're probably watching your figure.

How about some nice pinky fingers instead? Oh.

Ummmm, no, no. Thank you, though.

Oh, look at you, so polite!

Alastor, you could learn a thing or two.

Well, sit down. Sit down.

Tell Auntie Rosie what she can do for you.

You know, Alastor, I got a primo connect on a guy

with about eight blocks of territory and not enough goons to run it.

Prime pickings for a deal to be made, my friend.

I appreciate the offer, but we're here on business of another kind.

Well, don't keep me in suspense.

I'm a very busy woman.

Well, as you know,

the extermination is coming early.

It'll be here in a month.

And they're coming for my hotel and my friends first.

- and I, I, I, I, I, I... - We need your help.

Well, your cannibals' help at least, to fend off the attack.

Wow! When you ask a favor, you don't start small, do you, Your Highness?

Oh, now, don't fret.

I didn't say I wouldn't help, but I assume there's

more to this plan than a bunch of unarmed cannibals.

Oh, your people will be far from helpless when we're done with them.

And by the end, they will be able to eat

their fill!

Well, in that case, sure. Why not?

- Really? - What can I say?

I like your moxie, girl.

And old Alastor has never done me wrong before.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Carmine!

Carmine, we need to speak.

I know what you did on extermination day.

We can talk about it inside, or I can yell about it out here.

Fuckin' right you open that door.

Hello?

You have 2 minutes

to convince me not to silence you for good.

Miss Carmine, I'm here on appointment from the princess

to enlist your aid in the defense of Hell from the angelic extermination.

We know an angel fell at your hands and we need to know how.

- No! - What do you mean, no?

- The princess of Hell... - Means nothing to me.

You have to do better than that. 90 seconds.

With your knowledge, we wouldn't have to helplessly stand by while...

Clearly I am not the helpless one here.

80 seconds.

Well, then why?

Why wouldn't you use what you know to fight?

To avoid the very problem you and your little friends are facing right now.

I will not invite destruction into my house, on my people.

You think we asked for this?

All Charlie has ever done is try to make things better to help her people who,

news flash, include your people too.

And how exactly has that worked out for her?

45 seconds.

We didn't pick the fight, but it's here now.

And they aren't going to stop with us.

You didn't see the look on their leader's face.

With us out of the way,

it's only a matter of time before they come for the rest of you.

They won't stop until all of Hell is wiped out,

so you can help us make a stand here together,

or you can stand alone tomorrow.

And what do you think your chances will be then?

You're out of time.

Angels attack quickly, viciously, and without mercy.

You'll need to defend better than that.

Cannibals and Cannibettes,

assemble in the square.

Now, darling, you know I would do anything,

anything for my clients,

but I can't exactly command

all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle.

Now, don't get me wrong,

they love carnage and bloodshed,

but to get this group into line, you got to win 'em over.

Settle in!

Settle in! Important meeting.

- But how do I... - With sparkle! Razzmatazz

and that oh so appealing moxie of yours.

Shouldn't be a problem.

It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before.

Now, fair warning.

This group sticks together.

So in order to convince any of them, you'll need to convince all of them.

And there's one in particular...

- Uuuugh, Susan. - Susan,

who's a bit of an... uh...

- Ornery old bitch? - That!

She's tough, but win her over and the rest will be easy as pie.

- Ready? - I guess.

Everyone we have a very special, very royal guest this evening!

Please put your bloody hands together for

Princess Charlie!

Booooo! Bring Rosie back!

Susan?

Susan.

Sorry. Uh, okay,

- uh, my name's Charlie, and... - Booooo!

- Well, I run this hotel with my part... - Get off the stage

- you blue blood bitch! - ...well someone and...

- Booo! - Wait, let me start over.

We don't give a shit about some hotel.

Angels are coming to kill us all and we need help defending our realm.

leave before I eat those big ass eyes of yours.

So... we, uh... we need your help...

Boo! Get off.

With your assistance, we can make a stand for...

- Where's the showmanship? - I... I have a dream...

- Where's all the finesse? Fuckin mediocre! - and I...

Fuck You! You old bitch!

Okay!

we'll be back after a brief intermission.

Fuck! Ow!

Aaagh!

Come on, what is this?

You want me to teach you how to beat angels?

That's what I'm doing.

By beating the shit out of me? I'm not used to fighting with long hair.

By showing you the flaws in your own fighting style.

Yours and all your sisters'.

Wait... you know I'm an exorcist?

- How? - You have a giant X over your eye

and wield an angelic spear.

It's not rocket science.

Before you found out about me, did you know angels could be harmed?

No.

That shows in how you fight.

You leave yourself open with every swing.

You fight like someone unafraid of harm,

and this is what you'll take advantage of.

Angels wield no shields, little armor and fight with reckless abandon.

- Strike them here, here, and here. - Argh.

With what?

Some secret weapon of yours?

Stupid girl, are you really so dense

you don't realize you're holding the answer?

Angelic weapons? It's that simple?

How has no one else figured this out?

Angelic steel isn't common,

and those who have it aren't exactly rushing off to test it against exorcists.

When my daughters and I were cornered in that last extermination

I tried to buy time for my girls to flee, and well...

you don't become an angelic arms dealer without arming yourself first.

♪ I see you're driven by your detestation

♪ Your every step is stoked with animus ♪

♪ You need a different type of motivation ♪

♪ Or there's no way that you can handle this ♪

♪ I know you're thirstin' for vengeance Vaggie ♪

♪ You're out for blood ♪

♪ But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love ♪

♪ Out for love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Think of who you care about ♪

♪ Protect them and be out ♪

♪ For love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ You're gonna fight without gloves long as ♪

♪ You're out for love ♪

♪ Fuel yourself with the fear of losin' ♪

♪ That somebody who's your reason to live ♪

♪ Harness your heart and you can't help choosin' ♪

♪ To fight with all you can give ♪

♪ I know you're thirstin' for vengeance Vaggie ♪

♪ You're out for blood ♪

♪ But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love ♪

♪ Out for love, love ♪

♪ Think of who you care about protect 'em and be out ♪

♪ For love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ You're gonna fight without gloves and when that push comes to shove yeah ♪

♪ You just might rise above long as you're ♪

♪ Out for love ♪

Well, look at that. You might just survive this.

We're going to need more weapons.

Alright, what has you so out of sorts, darlin'?

You clearly got more on your mind than angels.

What do you do when someone you love

lies to you about who they are?

Romance? My specialty.

C'mon, dearie, details, details!

My girlfriend is an exorcist angel... and she never told me.

Oh, shit.

Quite a secret.

How does that make you feel?

Just... angry...

because we share everything!

Because she always supported me, and my ideas,

and now I don't know whether or not that was just more of the lies...

Oh, no, that's a horrible thing to think! Do I think that?

Yes! N... No?

Kinda?

You said you love this girl?

Yes... Or, well, I...

- Yes. - Aw.

Have you ever once doubted that she loves you in return?

Well, then what's the problem?

She took part in the very thing we've been working so hard to end.

Well...

Isn't that silly hotel of yours all about redemption?

...Yes?

Perhaps this girl was trying to redeem herself too?

She knows better than anyone that I believe in second chances.

Why not tell me?

It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of,

especially if those things hurt the ones you love.

She fucked up, sure.

She's flawed,

but hey, who down here isn't?

If there's anything I've learned, it's that words

are cheap, but actions,

they speak the truth.

So, what have her actions said?

That she believes in me and what we're doing.

Right now she's off learning how to protect everything we've worked for...

and I can't even pitch my hotel right.

Well, how do you normally explain your hotel?

By singing... but that never works.

It will work here. Trust me.

♪ Have you ever wanted something that ♪

♪ Was so clear in your mind that you could taste it ♪

You mean like human flesh?

Eugh, sort of.

♪ It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally ♪

♪ Be faced with a billion needy faces ♪

♪ I guess what I mean to say is for the first time in my life ♪

♪ I might have to be ready for this ♪

♪ Ready to be the one who's leading from the front ♪

♪ Gotta come into my own gotta come into my throne ♪

♪ Gotta take charge and defend my only home ♪

♪ And although I kinda feel unsteady ♪

♪ Now I need to be ready for this ♪

♪ Have you ever felt like you're willing to die to save the people of your city ♪

By die to do you mean use my teeth to rip flesh apart?

That's a start!

♪ Cause right now we need a leader ♪

♪ And it seems to me that ♪

♪ Destiny has picked me to be that if you'll permit me ♪

♪ So who's with me? ♪

♪ Wouldn't it be super to see more of Hell ♪

♪ Join up now if you like travel ♪

♪ Come on boys hop in the saddle ♪

♪ Lotta sights to see en route to my hotel ♪

♪ Not to mention the camaraderie ♪

♪ Yes siree you'll form life-changing friendships ♪

♪ With the folks along the way ♪

♪ And feast on all the angels you can eat ♪

♪ Okay ♪

Free food! I'm in!

♪ It's time now to act ♪

♪ They're on the attack ♪

♪ When they move to strike ♪

♪ We will fight biting back ♪

♪ We'll follow your lead we're eager to feed ♪

♪ We'll sharpen our teeth for the heavenly feast ♪

♪ From this moment on you can count on us ♪

♪ To be resolute and ravenous ♪

♪ Our appetites are whet and we're set to seize the day ♪

♪ So I say oh hey come join the flesh buffet ♪

♪ Well, that's a little violent ♪

♪ Can we tone it down ♪

♪ Oh don't be put off by their snarlin' ♪

♪ That's enthusiasm darlin' ♪

♪ Eh, they just seem a little murdery right now ♪

♪ Don't worry, honey that's their thing keep singing ♪

♪ We're super duper grateful ♪

♪ To have you folks aboard ♪

♪ We can't wait to taste an angel's wings ♪

♪ Oh, lord... ♪

♪ For the first time in my life maybe I can be ready for this ♪

♪ I can be the marshal leading the parade ♪

♪ I can come into my own and I think I've always known ♪

♪ My destiny could never be postponed ♪

♪ When Adam brings the battle here I must appear like I'm ready for this ♪

♪ They're dancing along ♪

♪ They're singing her song ♪

♪ Surprised, why, I knew she could do it all along ♪

♪ She's bound to pass the test ♪

♪ As princess of Hell ♪

♪ Like her daddy she is madly power-fell ♪

♪ She's filled with potential that I could guide ♪

♪ I concur ♪

♪ Stick with her ♪

♪ You'll be on the winning side ♪

♪ For the first time in our lives ♪

♪ We know that we ready for this ♪

♪ We'll show heaven a fight they won't forget ♪

♪ It's time to take a stand ♪

- ♪ It's time to lend a hand ♪ - ♪ Huzzah ♪

♪ Against the angels and their deadly threat ♪

{an8}♪ We cannot take it anymore ♪

♪ The time has come to go to war prepare to fight we're ready ♪

♪ For This ♪

♪ I really hope that I'm ready for this ♪

Looks like you had a busy day.

- You too. - Charlie, I...

Hold that thought.

Err.. Ah! I got you a souvenir from Cannibal Town.

Oh, Charlie.

The wings are new.

They look nice.

Come on, let's go home.

Come along,

let's put some effort into these fortifications.

Yeah, fortify that...

Well, look who decided to show up.

We thought we were fightin' by ourselves.

You're... you're still here?

What? Do you think we were a bunch of pusssssies?

I just got used to you guys.

I ain't finding no new drinking buddies.

I've named all the stains on the carpet.

That one's Fred.

Well, looks like we have a lot of work to do.