Original subtitles

Please darling, don't get me straight for going on stage.

Oh wait, the towel. Get the towel.

Let's go, babe.

- Are you ready? - Yeah. Oh, God!

Come on, we need to get it in.

Come on, squeeze in.

You know, his daddy wanted him to be a surgeon.

Luckily, your daddy likes me just the way I am.

Oh, my God.

Help us, babe.

And we're in, oh my God, God!

- Yes. - Oh, no, no, there's a pop to do.

I'm gonna go and watch out front. Break a leg.

Oh, my God, I love that phrase when I'm wearing heels.

- Bye. - Oh, bye.

Bye.

What?

- Oh, my God, friends kiss. - I didn't say anything.

Anton, babe.

- Hm? - How long do I have left?

Um, about 20 minutes.

Muah!

Muah, muah! Where have you been? Where've you been? Oh, my goodness.

- Muah! - I'll see you there, okay.

It's on the left, on the left.

Oh, you scared him away.

He's cute though.

Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,

Ladies,

Gentlemen, and all those who transcend gender.

Please give a large hand

and make some fucking noise

for the one, the only,

Aphrodite Bang!

Oh no.

You need to say something.

Hello.

You're so obnoxious about it.

- No, fuck off, man. - Go on, do it.

- Hey. - Hey, hey, Uncle.

- Uncle. - Have some breadsticks.

- No, no, it's all right. - See Preston, man.

Exactly, tarty.

- Uncle! - Oh, man,

man's looking for fucking prune juice, innit?

Is Lydia coming tonight?

They sell fucking alcopops.

Deb, Debs, they're Debs'.

Get some alcopops for Jack, man.

Can I get a bottle of tequila, please?

- He fucking loves that stuff. - Yeah.

No, sorry, the one underneath.

Fuck, easy, man!

- Two. - Can you drop these?

- Yeah. - Fuck me.

Hey. Hey, hey, is that a bloke?

- That's fucked up. - Hey.

- Seriously? - Fucking faggots, man.

Takes one to know one, innit?

What?

Hey, What'd he say?

- Oh, you talking to me? - Thanks.

- Hey, What'd he say? - Next, please.

- Chelsea gold, please. - Wanna say that to my face?

He thinks he's a big man in his high heels.

Hey, turn around and say that.

Hey, turn around then.

- Thank you. - Oi, turn around.

I said, how are you gonna call me a faggot

in front of all of your friends, when I caught you checking me out earlier?

Oh, shit, hey, do you like know each other?

- Fuck off, man, he's chatting shit. - Know each other?

Hm, babes, don't bother messaging me later,

when you're looking for a dick to suck,

'cause you and your don't-touch-the-sides dick, not my type.

Oh, fuck!

Hold that for me, yeah, hold that for me.

Oh, he's gone.

What's going on?

- Oi! - Hey, we're on. We're on, come.

What you gonna do, Preston?

Hey, this man-woman humiliated you.

Where, where are you going?

- Turn around then. - Yeah, turn around

and smile for the camera, please.

Turn around if you're a fucking man.

Hey, fuck him up, bruv.

What'd I say? I said, turn around!

Fuck off!

Uh!

Oh!

- Shit! - Fuck!

Think you're a big man, yeah?

- Hey! - Think you're a big man?

What you wearing a fucking dress for,

if you're a fucking big man, huh?

No, no, no!

- Oh-oh! - All right.

- Get on your knees. - No, no, put that away, bruv!

Get on your fucking knees.

- Chillax, man, what's wrong with you? - Get on your fucking knees!

Stop it!

- Take that fucking dress off! - Put the knife away!

That's it. You getting a load of this, bruv?

- That's enough! - No, it ain't enough.

He's gonna say that to me, yeah?

You gonna say that to me?

- Hey, bruv! - Hold him, hold him, fam!

- Put it back, man! - Who's the big man now, huh?

Who's the fucking big man now? Are you the fucking big man?

- Relax, bruv! - I'm the fucking big man.

Fucking freak.

- Oh, my God, Jesus! - geez!

My God, Jules.

- Jules. - Oh, my God!

Lisa, get help!

- Lisa! - Jules.

- Ssh, ssh! - All right, bubba.

It's okay, it's okay, ssh!

Stop fucking looking and get an ambulance!

You're all right.

Round two. Fight.

- Take this, uh! - Babes?

- Yeah, take this, yeah! - Babes.

- Hey, coke head! - Uh!

I threw together this little bad girl this morning.

So you could wear my old one, if you wanted.

Round three.

I know you can pause, so don't even try it.

I can, but I don't want to.

Hey, coke head!

Why stay here playing whatever the fuck this is,

when you could meet that guy in real life at the club?

I don't wanna meet him in real life. Proportions are horrible.

Can you look at me when I'm speaking to you?

I'm trying to suggest with my body language,

that I don't wanna start this again.

Tobes. Let's not ruin the night before it's even begun, yeah?

I'm trying to be a good friend. This isn't healthy.

But he doesn't wanna come out.

Every time you do this, you're letting them win.

Brilliant.

Whatever. It's his life.

Ooh, yah!

Hi.

Hi.

Not tonight.

- You're gorgeous. - Thank you.

I am nine inches and thick.

Maybe another time then.

Have fun, beautiful.

- What did I just say? - All right.

So what are you touching me for?

Just chill out, mate.

Back the fuck up before I fucking slap you.

- Bloody psycho. - Fucking dog's breath!

Oi, cool it, yeah.

Who's chatting to you?

Calm down or I'll call the porter.

Faggot.

We're all faggots here, darling.

Fucking shithole anyway!

Come on, then?

Have you got a free place?

No.

Keep your mouth shut.

Fam, where the fuck did you go?

I had shit to sort out, innit?

You're a liability.

No, mate, just bored of your chat.

You back at the flat?

No, I'm still out waiting for this geezer, innit?

I dunno what the fuck he thinks he's playing at.

You need to change it up, man.

- Trust me. - Yeah.

We're probably gonna go to Junction afterwards,

if you fancy it.

Yeah, I'll see how I feel.

All right, safe, safe.

Walk behind me, yeah, don't let no one see you come in.

Anyone see you?

No.

Want a beer?

I'm okay, thanks.

Shoes off.

Shut the door.

So what's your name?

I don't wanna hear any noise, you understand?

You make a noise, I'm gonna cover your mouth.

Take your clothes off.

Good boy.

On your front.

He's back, bruv.

Shit!

- Oi, Pres, you in? - Oh, fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

- You can't go out dressed like that, man. - What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Stay here.

- And do what? - I don't fucking know.

He's not meant to be here is he.

All right, chill, man, just coming!

Ah, so he's in, the prodigal son.

Fuck's sake.

Don't fucking move, yeah.

Where are you, man?

Hey, give me a fucking minute, man.

Hey, I need a piss!

Who's the big man now, huh?

Take that fucking dress off!

That's shit.

- What's going on, Preston? - Hey.

Give me one of them.

- Hey, man. - Do you want a line?

-You rolling fucking- -No, man, I'm good.

- Cutting up selfish lines. - I'm trying to get it done.

Rolling.

Smoking the crack cocaine.

- Hey, who's that? - What, is there someone there?

Someone's creeping.

Preston, you got a girl in there?

Who's creeping?

You got a girl in there?

Who's this?

It's my mate, innit?

Why you not telling me you're bringing your boy over?

You my fucking minder now?

That's why he is trying to keep me busy, while some chump robs me blind.

What's your name, brother?

Jules.

What you doing in my yard, Jules?

Just picking up, innit?

Bit late.

No, no, helps me sleep so.

- Where do you lot know each other from? - Pentonville.

Ah, scene.

You men were cellmates, yeah?

Shut up, man.

Do you want a beer, Jules?

You can come tell us some stories

about Preston getting bummed in the Big House.

Yeah.

You think you're funny, innit?

No, no, no, no, I'm, you know what? I'm gonna bounce.

- Oh, rude. - Safe, man.

In a bit, Jules.

Put your number in my phone.

I need to get my clothes back, innit?

You'll wait for my text, yeah?

Yeah.

Good boy.

And then the chant goes.

It's so good to be back, so good.

I tell you what, that last goal changed everything.

Hello, what, what, what, what, what?

Hey, one more, boy, one more.

- Come on, come on. - Come on.

- I'll find it all now. - Come on.

And what's your markup?

Exactly, hard cash value, what is your time worth?

So what? You just start a new account. He ain't got your address.

Yeah, listen, my mate's just turned up, yeah.

You call me tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

All right?

Yeah.

Are you?

You gone shopping just for me?

No.

No, I needed new stuff anyway.

Did you now?

I forgot your hoodie by the way, sorry.

Keep it, it's a knockoff anyway.

I don't wear that shit no more.

If you're on a budget though, I can get you more like that on the cheap.

That looks real, does the job.

Fucking maniac!

Can I get some water for the table?

Yeah, can we get a bottle of sparkling, pint of Brixton

and ah, can we get the wine list?

Oh yeah, it's at the back of the menu.

Do you know what? A house, house white would be good.

What do you recommend?

I mean, well, I personally like the French Sauvignon.

It's a little lighter, very drinkable.

Glass of that, please.

Great.

Yeah, it's all right, this place.

Yeah, it seems really nice.

Don't worry, it's on me.

- No, no, no, please. - No, no, no, no, no.

It's on me, it's on me.

So listen, it was a bit of a madness what you did the other night.

Sorry about that.

No, no, no, I kind of rate it, still,

it would've been a different story if you'd fucked up.

But we don't need to go into that.

Okay, so Brixton and a soda water.

Can we order some food?

- Yeah. - You hungry, yeah?

Yeah.

Can we get the Chateaubriand,

say 400, 500 grams, rare as you go.

Great.

Can we get a smoked bone marrow, beef fat potatoes,

grilled hispi and, ah, and a few sauces.

Surprise me.

Absolutely, yeah.

Cheers.

Cheers, innit?

So what is this like, is this like your MO?

My MO?

Dinner dates with boys you met in saunas?

No, not usually.

Okay, so what makes me so special?

I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Oh, shit.

Shame.

I know, I'm just, I'm just trying to work out

what the vibe is here.

What do you mean?

I'm not imagining double dates with your friends

anytime soon.

You're funny.

You keep this side of your life completely separate?

I'm a private person, you know.

I don't like people getting in my business.

You got a girlfriend?

Not at the moment, no. Would you like it if I did?

Why would I like that?

Okay.

Okay, I see you.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

What?

What do you think I do for a living?

Hm?

You think I'm a dealer, innit?

Is that what you're into?

You want a big man to treat you like a little bitch?

Maybe.

Yeah, I know your type.

Well, if that's what you're after,

I can fill up your bingo card,

shotting, GBH, done time, all of it.

Hm?

What were you in for?

I don't wanna talk about that.

So.

Cash.

Thank you.

This is what you're after, yeah?

You wanna get fucked in the ass by a thug?

This is what you get off on?

You answer me when I speak to you.

Yes.

Yes what?

Yes, I want it.

What the fuck?

Yo!

But I did make it myself.

I got like material from like just down the road.

Just have a concept. I'm sorry.

Sorry, I should have texted you.

Yeah.

- Bit of a surprise. - Blame Anton.

It was meant to be like five people.

Where you been?

With a friend.

Like a friend or, or a date?

Sorry, I just like, I don't know what's going on with you.

What do you mean?

Just miss my friend.

I'm here.

Can I have a hug?

No!

- Sorry. - It's okay.

Just, I just,

- find it hard. - I know.

Like it's just alcohol. I'm just drunk.

I fucking hate it.

Sorry, I'm such an idiot.

Hey.

Hi.

Honestly, it's just alcohol. I fucking hate it.

I know, baby, it's the worst.

Yeah.

Come on, let's go. Let's get you home.

- Liche? - Hm?

You got a free half hour?

What for?

Cute.

Yes, love this.

Okay, do that thing where you look at me,

but don't look at me, "Look at me, I'm shy.

I'm so shy."

Work it, work it, gorgeous.

Shit.

Cute, cute, cute, no, your face looks banging.

Don't show the face.

- What the fuck? - What?

Don't send me that shit, you don't know who's looking.

- Oh, but I look cute though, right? - No, I'm serious.

Sorry.

Just been thinking about you.

What are you up to?

You're a glutton for punishment.

Told your friends about me?

Gonna tell your friends about me?

- No. - What would I do?

Oh, you'd hurt me.

- Same again, yeah? - Yeah.

So the thing is, yeah, I'm a nice guy.

But if you disrespect me, I'll fuck you up.

- Forget that. - Yeah?

I'm the same.

- Are you now? - Yeah.

Okay, I'd best remember not to fuck with you then.

- What the fuck? - Oh!

What the fuck are you, turn that off!

What the fuck are you doing? Turn it off!

It's off, it's off.

- Get the fuck out of my car. - I'm sorry, I don't mean-

I told you I would fuck you up!

- Did you think I was joking? - No.

- Did you think I was joking? - No.

Don't test me then!

No, it's fine!

Delete it, delete it now!

- Okay, done. - Fuck's sake!

I told you I don't want my face on nothing!

I don't know... I don't know you like that, I don't know what you're about.

Sorry, it was a mistake.

Don't do that again.

Get in the car.

I can get you an upgrade for that for cheap.

5G, better camera.

It's fine.

No, like I wouldn't make you pay for it or nothing.

Okay.

Thank you.

I've got a temper, yeah.

Like,

if you shock me, I'm gonna react.

I...

I get that.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

I put you in a,

in a vulnerable position.

Hmm.

I should have asked.

It's my fault.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Slower.

Slower.

Slower.

Slower, slower.

Slower, slower.

Slower.

Slower.

Slower.

Slower.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

So, see you next week?

That was nice,

in the end.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll text you.

Okay.

Fuck, what the fuck?

Turn it off!

- Turn it off! - It's off.

I'm just saying, if my kids looked like that,

I probably wouldn't keep putting them on Instagram.

Jules?

Yeah?

Where you been?

With a friend.

She told me, you don't have to lie about it.

I know you're seeing someone.

I just want you two to talk again.

Can we talk about this later?

No.

Come and sit down.

Come on.

Okay.

Well, go on then.

Can we just be friends again, please?

Oh, my God, Toby, you're the one that's ignoring me.

Because...

Oh, I was very drunk. I just wanna forget it ever happened.

It's already forgotten.

- Good. - Good.

Is that it?

Okay, what is this energy you've brought in with you tonight?

Hm, frustration, confusion, a sprinkling of self-loathing.

You know, Friday night.

Spill the tea, bitch.

Can we just get drunk?

I guess you summed it up, he's just, he's straight.

See, this is why we don't date people who hate themselves.

I did not get that memo.

And not to be all Oprah about it,

but if there's no emotional connection,

you're just a puckered sphincter for him to dump his cum into.

Did Oprah really say that?

Mm-hmm, she texted me this morning.

So...

Me and Toby

have been talking about your birthday,

wondering how you wanna deal with that this year.

-I was saying that I- -I was...

Sorry.

No, obviously there's no pressure from us.

Mm-mm.

It can be whatever you want it to be.

Hmm.

I think I wanna get back on stage.

Yeah?

Yeah, I...

I fucking miss her.

Aphrodite?

- Yes. - Oh, right.

I, I miss her too.

I don't know, she was, she was just so...

She was so powerful.

Sometimes it was confusing, it was like,

it was like, like she was the real me and...

And I was the performance.

Then after,

after, you know,

it was like I wasn't...

It's like I wasn't worth that anymore.

I couldn't let her down.

You didn't let anyone down, babe.

So,

should we be preparing for a comeback tour?

Hold it, hold it, hold it!

You man, you man, let the girls in, let the girls in!

Come on, where's your manners?

Yeah, that's you, Bije.

Get the next one, little bit of chivalry goes a long way.

- You're a joker. - A joker?

- She finds me funny. - It's true, Bije.

Aye, aye, Preston's little mate.

What was the name again?

Jules?

I like how Preston said he was too tired to come out.

What are you doing here, Jules?

Oh, I'm just here to pick up, innit?

Hmm, you know he gets all his shit from me.

Probably ripping him off.

Every time.

All right?

Why you naked, cuz?

Oi, oi, Preston, man, put some fucking clothes on.

- Come on. - We've got company.

I swear he's trying to seduce you, Jules.

Preston, have you got any cold ones?

Get me a drink.

I thought you lot was going to Lee's?

- Nah, Deb's done a hissy, man. - Fucking psycho, man.

That's why you don't stick your dick in it.

Chill, man, I'll put some clothes on

- and we can get out of here. - Please don't leave me.

Don't follow me.

- Relax. - Hey, Don.

Yo?

- Have you got that bag? - Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, man.

Jules.

Jules!

No, he's a pussy, man.

- Bring it here. - No, he's a pussy.

You get nicked, you get nicked.

You get nicked, yeah, what if you're nicked?

Come in here and chat to me, man.

No, we're just about to go out, innit?

Oi, you lot, this guy was in Pentonville with Preston

and he's looking at me like I'm the crook.

Why are you coming into my house and being rude to me, Jules?

I'm not.

Then come and sit down, man.

You know what though, yeah, if you wanted weed,

you should've come straight to the source.

I would've given you a much better deal.

No, sorry, man, it's just for sleep, I've got enough.

How much money have you got on you now?

Oz, man, that's Preston's mate, bro.

Hush your gums, man, I ain't scary.

Ain't gonna drop the soap.

Allow it, man.

What was you inside for?

What?

Prison.

Oh.

Stealing.

You want a few more seconds to think about that?

No, no, I just don't wanna talk about it, do I?

Not gonna lie, Jules, you don't look like the type.

Oh, shit, you've got "Street Fighter."

You a gamer, Jules?

- Oh yeah, a bit. - Well, I'm actually top ten in the world.

Oh, cheap.

Top ten in the room then.

Top ten in this room at "Street Fighter!"

All right, gimme that.

- Hey, you wanna play? - Yeah.

All right, each game of six.

Jack, allow Jules, man, he's a guest.

Yeah, don't be sad that Jules dashed my character.

Have you seen Sagat comes with a lion?

A lion, yeah?

A lion as well, what? What's he talking about, man?

What the fuck you laughing at?

It's a fucking tiger, bruv.

Now, let's begin.

Oh, Jules is gonna be Chun-Li.

You know, she's a buff cartoon, innit?

She is.

She is, Chun-Li will get it, you know.

- Fucking hell. - Come on, Jack.

If her thighs are that big.

- Fight! - Imagine the bunda.

The size of it, yeah.

Just straight in, yeah?

Oh, that ass, fucking hell.

You're dead, bruv.

Have you played "Street Fighter" before?

Jack, play the game, man.

- K.O.! - Oh!

- Fucking hell! - Oh!

You just got perfected by a girl.

- Fight! - Honestly, always talking

about he's the best, look at this guy now.

Preston, man, your mate's a fucking savage at this, man.

Shut up, man, you use the same move over and over again.

- Uh! - That's done, innit?

- That's a done deal. - Chun-Li wins!

- That is a done deal. - You lot, see that.

- You're a cheater. - Come on, Don.

You being Chun-Li again, yeah?

Yeah.

You know who it's gonna be, innit?

- There you go. - Serious.

- Come on, Don, you playing? - I'm playing, innit?

Look at Don playing with two fingers like he's playing a fucking piano.

All right, stop talking to me, man.

- Just let me play. - Do you know

you're playing "Street Fighter?"

- Yeah, I'm fucking trying to. - You do realize that?

Yo man, this one can't play, it's fucked!

You lost, you lost! Put it down, put it down, put it down!

The problem with your controller is you're holding it.

- That's all, that's all. - Go again?

Trust me.

- Do it again. - Straight down.

- Here, pass it. - Oz just get blood lust.

Oh no, oh-oh!

Don't fucking throw my stuff on the ground.

I swear down!

Someone pass me the fucking thing, man.

- Calm down, calm down. - Bad disrespect.

- I'm joking, man! - Fuck off, man.

- Round one. - You wanna do this

- in front of Jules. - Fight!

Shut up, shut up, give me a fucking break!

- I see you losing. - Preston, don't!

Look at your face, man.

You're gonna win, you're gonna win, you're gonna win it.

I feel it, I feel it, I can feel it.

I know you're gonna win, you're gonna win!

K.O.!

Oh!

Oh no!

- This guy cheats. - It was so close!

It was so close though!

- This guy's fucking cheating. - What are you saying?

- You're shit. - I told you this guy was rude!

You like to see me fuck your mates up?

Kind of, yeah.

We can get out of here now, if you want.

We could go fuck in a room.

No, mate.

Jules, grab me a beer, man.

There's none left.

Fucking Preston, man, buy your own fucking beers, man.

It's the first one I've had.

Keep driving around in your uncle's BMW.

All right, why are you being a dickhead?

'Cause you're a scrounger.

- Come on you, man. - It ain't my uncle's,

I bought it off him.

Who are you trying to impress?

We're going out. I ain't staying in no dry house.

Focus on the game, focus on the game.

Jules, are you coming?

We can't, we've got shit to do.

Oi, was I chatting to you?

Do whatever the fuck you want, man.

Jules.

Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

- Come on, you lot. - What you doing?

Just keeping it interesting.

You coming, yeah? Jack.

- Cool. - Yeah, it's cool.

Hey, let's get some shots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shots.

- Fighting, yeah? - Yeah, come on then.

What?

Oh!

- Oh. - Buff, innit?

Oh yeah, yeah.

Girl I've been chirpsing, watch. Did you see the back?

Yeah.

She's got a husband.

- Oh, nice. - Yes.

What a waste, man. Watch, watch, watch.

- Hey, why are you so harsh to him? - It's like banter, innit?

The trick is, you wanna push him right to his edge

and then just walk away

and the next time someone looks at him sideways,

he goes full on psycho.

- Is it bad? - Oh yeah, you've never seen it?

No, no.

My man's like a pit bull that's been dropped on his head

too many times, it's kind of funny, still.

Not for the person who's getting chunks torn out of him though.

- Sounds fucked. - Oh, sweet.

Yeah, bruv, I swear to God, imagine that video here.

Pump here, pump it, yeah?

Guy comes up, comes up to me, we're chatting.

I know him from the gym, we're just chatting.

- The guy's in the gym. - But he kept, listen!

- Yeah, I've heard it. - You're a dickhead, bruv.

That's not me, bro, that's not me,

that's not me chatting up geezers in the gym.

But anyways, I'm chatting to him, yeah

and there's, there's this one girl

I'd been chatting to for a couple of weeks, yeah.

He's the only mutual friend, yeah.

So I'm like chatting to her on Insta.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like, "Do you know this girl?"

Like, I tap this guy, "Do you know this girl?"

Man, I swear to God, I say to the guy, show it to him.

I'm like, "Bro, do you know who this girl is?"

- Who? - I swear to God,

the guy goes, "Man, that's my girl."

I was being a wasteman, bruv, I said, "Bun you anyway, man."

Bruv, who's round is it?

- Not mine, Bije, it's yours. - Who's round is it?

Pres, it ain't a trick question, who's round is it?

Yeah.

- What you want? - Jaeger, Jaeger.

- He said Jaeger. - Yeah.

- Jules. - Pres.

You gonna dance with me?

- What? - You gonna dance with me?

What happened to me, Lydia?

Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah. - Nice.

- Go on, Jules, son. - You move quick.

- Go on, Jules. - Fucking hell.

Nice.

Preston, man, your dude, bro.

You needed to cool off?

Getting some air.

Oz is pissing me off.

He's a fucking dickhead.

Kind of.

All right.

What's this act you're doing?

Do you like it?

Am I turning you on?

Yeah.

I know your type.

Yeah?

Want a big man to treat you like a little bitch?

Maybe.

Come on then,

let's go.

Are you gonna do what I say?

Yeah.

Good boy.

Upstairs.

Take your fucking shoes off.

What are you doing?

Take your clothes off.

When you're not with me,

when you're out there with your little friends

pretending to be some big man thug.

I want a reminder,

that really...

You're just my little slut.

Thought you were gonna do what I say.

What's this?

I got into a fight.

Give me a name, I'll fuck him up.

They're a mix of all of those actually.

We're kind of just picking a seamstress.

Right, right, nice.

I ask him what to do, tell him.

Morning, wreck head.

You want some food?

Wow.

Quite extravagant.

Well, Julius, we do have guests.

Are they keeping you here against your will?

It's fine, it's food, innit?

We hear it was a big night.

Yeah, got a little,

- got a little heavy. - He was on one.

Hmm, hair of the dog then?

Preston was just telling us about his business.

It's just a market stall at the moment.

I'm... I'm saving up some capital to expand.

And what kind of clothes is it?

Like streetwear, skatewear,

like Stussy or Supreme, but not.

I-I'm trying to make some connections

with smaller European labels, help them establish over here.

Cool.

So you're the inspiration behind Jules' new dress sense?

Ah, no, I think that's all him.

Hm.

He's got good style, though.

Hiya.

I just wanted to say

sorry if I've been a bit standoffish.

Jules is my best friend, I'm protective.

It's been rough lately.

Don't know if he told you about the, um, the attack.

- Scar on his head? - Hmm.

Hasn't really felt like the real Jules since then.

All this... the clothes, the posturing.

I just worry.

We're planning a birthday thing for him, you should come.

Yeah?

I don't know, if you asked him, he'd probably be embarrassed,

but if you sort of just showed up as a surprise,

I think he'd be really touched.

And it'd be good for you to see him in his natural environment.

Maybe. See what I'm doing.

Give me your number, I'll text you the details.

Right.

Last night was,

- was kind of mad. - Yeah.

I'll text you.

Fuck!

Come on.

She's here!

Come here! Happy birthday!

Welcome home!

All right?

Hi, can I get a beer, please?

Who are you looking for?

What is he doing here?

I invited him.

- Does Jules know? - It's a surprise!

- Toby! - What? It's his birthday.

Don't think I can't see what you're trying to do here.

- All right? - Hey!

So nice of you to come.

I can't stay long, I-I've got another thing,

but just thought I'd have one, say happy birthday.

Do you want me to put that in my bag?

Cheers.

Where's he at?

Um, he'll be on stage in a minute.

On stage?

Welcome back, my children to Phallacy!

And shut the fuck up.

Our next act left us for the summer

to go and sip the cocktails in the Hamptons.

- Ooh! - Hm, oh, yeah.

But now,

she's back.

And if you thought that she was a bad bitch before,

let me tell you,

you are going to gag!

So please give a large hand

and raise the roof for my friend,

the queen of the fucking surf,

Aphrodite Bang!

Bullet hole, bullet hole, bullet hole, yeah!

Yes, I said what I said!

Yes, it's been a minute, bruvs, what you saying?

She is back!

So they say you should always lead with a joke.

So I'm just gonna jump right in

with a story about my gay basher.

No, no, no, don't panic, don't panic.

It all ends with us making a very steamy sex tape together.

Now, I know, I know, I know we've all seen that porn before,

but trust me,

this guy's a very special performer.

Fucking door number!

And then when they came calling, he tried acting straight

and then one look at the pussy,

leave, he could not, he was tantalized, scandalized,

he was under my spell.

Oh.

- Happy birthday. - Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

What are you doing here?

Your mate invited me to surprise you.

Oh.

Nice of you to come.

You think I don't remember you?

What?

I-I don't know what you mean.

Don't you?

'Cause you kind of gave the joke away in your act.

I don't wanna talk about this here.

Where are you going?

- You fucking psycho. - Christ!

You fucking psychopath.

- Preston, just think. - Think you can make fucking fun of me?

- Please, just, please. - Or what?

- What are you gonna do? - Please just calm down.

- Or what? - Let's talk about it,

Preston, stay the fuck away from me!

Shut up!

Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up, you shut the fuck up! You shut the fuck up.

Who did you show the video to?

Don't fucking lie to me.

All right, I'm gonna take my hand away, yeah.

If you scream, I will fucking gut you.

You understand me, yeah, yeah?

Who did you show it to?

- I didn't, I didn't show it to anyone. - Don't fucking lie to me.

- Please, Preston. - Don't fucking lie to me.

If you lie to me.

Please, please put the bottle down.

Please, please.

I know you're not, I don't think it's what you...

Don't try that shit with me. Don't rile me up, swear down.

- Let me explain. - Explain what?

Explain what, how you tried to fuck me up?

I didn't, I didn't. I couldn't go through with it.

You didn't what? You couldn't go through it?

You expect me to believe that? You expect me to believe that?

I wanted to hurt you, yeah, but I couldn't.

- But what? But what? - I just felt sorry for you.

But what? But what?

You felt sorry for me?

Preston.

That's my phone.

They'll come here if I don't pick up.

Please.

Uh!

No, no, uh!

Uh!

Uh!

Uh!

Uh!

Uh!

Fucking liar!

Fucking liar!

Fucking liar!

Come here, you fucking liar!

Get off me, get off!

Fucking liar.

You psycho.

Fuck you.