Original subtitles

FPS 23

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello In Jack and the beanstalk.

Transcribed by Enigmatkaa...

Come in.

O it's you! I'm sorry Arthur I thought it was the babysitter.

- Just what do you have against babysitters? - Why nothing.

Nothing?

It is just a psychological stumbling block.

The juvenile mind will resent the restraint of adult authority.

You ever had the feeling that you're too old for your age?

Physically I'm only eight.

Mentally, the doctors refused to believe it.

Why do you bring my sister flowers?

Because you want to marry her?

It's all part of the racket. Where is Eloise?

Putting on her lipstick so you can kiss it off.

Come on young fella, I'll put you to bed.

Or your sister and I will be late for dress rehearsal

Why do I have to go to bed? Only children go to bed this early.

Arthur, I didn't hear you come in. You should have.

I made quite an entrance, thanks to junior.

Donald didn't you promised mother and dad you'd be a good boy?

I am being good. It just happens that their standards are much higher than mine.

-Where's his babysitter? -His sitter?

Erm... Donald go brush your teeth and go to bed.

And don't wake your baby sister.

-What's the matter? -No babysitter.

There are dozens of babysitters in the neighbourhood

Well, not for my dear brother. He's been declared out of bounds.

Have you tried the employment agencies?

They don't have babysitters.

Well, it looks like my understudy will have to go on tonight.

Start calling every agency until you find one that is open.

Get somebody.. Anybody

It sound like a bad idea, but I'll do it.

And I'll handle my pal Donald.

Pretty reckless driving! I'll say this, you oughta watch where you're going big boy.

What are you trying to do, get away?

Get out of my way.. Out of my way shorty!

I oughta run you in for this.

- You're big enough to carry me in.

Officer, we are terribly sorry.

Well alright, but don't let this happen again.

And get off of my car!

-What are you going to do with that?

Well, keep it there!

Yes... aha... I'd better hang up we've been talking for 10 minutes.

Here come my heavy date for the night... Bye!

-Who are you calling a heavy date? -You.

Can you wait outside for 5 minutes. Or will you get a ticket?

Well if I do, I can get it fixed. I have influence.

Don't do that!

Why don't you look where you're going! See you outside baby.

What do you see in that tall dark handsome fella?

Plenty.

- Girls never say that to me. - What do they say?

shh.. not in mixed company.

Cosman, employment agency.

Yes, I have been on the phone for quite a while.

- I'm sorry, but we don't list babysitters - Just a minute lady..

You're looking, you're looking at the world's greatest babysitter.

That's right miss... sure

He is the best.

- Where do you fit into this? - Well I'm his agent.

Yes... He let's me have 10% from everything I earn.

I'm sorry I took so long.

But fortunately a professional babysitter just came in.

May I have your address please?

Thank you, he'll be right out. Goodbye.

O thank you miss. Gee, you're wonderful.

I like girls like you. Eyes of Blue, and five feet two.

Timber ...

- Sorry to be late. - It's okay.

-Shall we go? -You mean you and I are going out together?

You see? I have a way with girls. Please...

- Now listen! - Yes, daddy.

- He's so big? - Come on we got a babysit. Get with it!

-Why are you so clumsy! -I'm excited.

- Why? - This is my first job.

Gee, I hope he's a sweet child. I love children.

- Come on.

It's about time they got here.

- Are you... - The babysitter? He sure is.

- You're kind of big for a baby! - You're not for me.

O, rejected again. I guess it isn't my night

- Won't you come in? - Sure.. sure.

Well, who wouldn't be plenty comfortable here.

Well it's to late to get anyone else

Have you had much experience with babies?

- Well yes sir, I have been a baby all my life. - Don't you worry about Jack.

Kids just love him He makes them feel so superior.

- And which they are. - Sure.

Well they're both sound asleep and I'm sure you won't hear a sound out of them all night.

- but if you need anything... - O no madam, I don't need a thing.

I'm prepared for everything!

- No one is prepared for Donald! - Well good-luck, we'll be home after eleven.

O, you're going out right now? O, costumes!

- Going to a masquerade ball? - No I'm playing.

A Play, kids are gonna play May I see you out the door?

O miss, in case I'm watching the children, just where are they?

- O they are in the bedroom down the hall. - Thank you.

High class huh?

Music to my ears.

My first victim! Duty calls. See you Mr. Dinkel.

This calls for action.

Shh... Quiet.

Wanna wake up your sweet little brother?

What seems to be the trouble?

This is my real business. I know kids. Good night.

Get me a glass of milk.

- What did you say? - I said get me a glass of milk.

This is unbelievable

This kid talks better than me.

You're not very bright!

I'm sorry kid. What school did you go to?

The baby isn't talking, I am.

I know you're talking, but .. who?

I'm talking over here.

This kid ain't even moving her lips. This is a baby ventriloquist

I'm talking over here.

I know it's you.. I mean I ... you're ...

You!!

- What's your name? - Donald.

- Are you a good boy? - No, it's not my nature.

I'm a problem child!

Get a load of the kid, he's problem child.. He is like me I think.

Would you like to have me read you a story before you fall asleep?

That's been tried too.

Aw, this kid been tried too.

I oughta ... I oughta ... I oughta ...

"Jack and the Beanstalk"

that's my favorite novel!

Donald, can I read this to you?

Well, I wanna keep you happy. Let's hear how it goes.

Thank you, Donald.

Once upon a time ...

That's pretty exciting isn't it?

Once upon a time, a whole village was turhuu ...

- A whole village was turruu ... - Terrorized.

A whole village was terrorized by a ferrorre....

- A ferroreerr ... - Ferocious.

Donald do me a favor, this is a very exciting book about the giants and everything..

Will you read it to me, please? I can't get over the big words.

Only because I'm fascinated by you. Here hold my club.

Yes... Fascinated...

Once upon a time, a whole village ...

was terrorized by a ferocious giant.

- Yeah.. - Who lived in a castle in the sky.

In this village lived a simple peasant boy named Jack and his widowed mother.

They had come upon hard times because of the giant.

One day, Jack was told to bring their only cow to the market.

And sell him for food.

Jack being a very stupid boy sold the cow for five small beans...

Princess Eloise!

- Your Highness! - I wonder if I could have a glass of water?

Yes, your Highness.

Hey Billie, can you imagine me getting water for the princess.

Uh-oh...

You seen anything Billie?

O Princess, I would have brung you the water.

I'm a little tired of people waiting on me.

It must be wonderful to be allowed to do everything you want to...

Whenever you want to...

Oh, you don't get around much do you?

- What do you mean? - You mean you haven't heard?

There's no food in the village. The Giant he's taking everything.

He's even taken your father's crown jewels, didn't he?

That's why I have to marry Prince Arthur.

- Well isn't it a love match? - I've never even seen him.

But his people have money...

Did you ever have to marry a man you've never seen?

They... they tell me I'm a boy.

So you are, and a very nice boy.

Thank you your Highness.

- Why don't you run away? - Princesses can't do that

Oh, but maybe he'll be young and handsome and ... you'll fall madly in love with him.

That only happens in fairy tales, but thank you for the water.

Thank you your Highness.

And Princess, remember ...

Have courage. Fear nothing when you're in the right.

That's my motto.

- Jack! - Yes, mother?

Jack, you must stop talking to yourself.

I wasn't talking to myself, mother

I was talking with the princess Eloise.

Princesses don't talk to peasant boys.

O Jack, when are you going to grow up and get some sense?

Does one go with the other?

Jack, I have come to a very important decision.

- You're not gonna give me away? - No...

If we're not to starve, I'll have to sell our last valuable possession.

No ... you're not gonna sell the cow?

She has to go...

You can't sell Henry!

Jack, how many times have I told you Henry isn't a proper name for a cow.

Alright, from now on I call her Albert...

But you still can't sell Henry.

- Take her to the market this morning but be sure to get a good price.

Yes, mother. You can depend on me.

Whatever they bid, I bid higher.

Jack, you'll be selling, not buying.

There's a difference?

Fetch me a pail of water and then be on your way.

Yes Mother.

Now look Henry, this is the last time I'm gonna let you look.

You look beautiful. You and I are gonna part very soon.

You are .. the only thing I .. I love

Now this is the last look you're gonna get, Henry.

Take a look. Don't you look pretty?

O parting is such sorrow.

We gotta go Henry.

Uh-oh!

Ho boy..

Tell me young fellow, will this road take me to the Royal Palace?

No Sir, but your horse will. Say, you're Prince Arthur!

- So they tell me. - Oh boy, will the Princess be surprised.

Princess Eloise?

You should have heard what she said about you this morning.

No worse then I said about her..

Any girl who will marry a man for his father's money...

Uh-oh ... The giant!

It's the giant, Henry. But you're safe with me.

I won't let him take you.

See? What did I tell you, Henry, I protected you.

Now look Henry, I got to go tell a Prince about the bad giant there.

Hey Prince, where did you go? O come on, this is no time to play games.

O Prince? O Prince?

Hey Prince!

He's a rough one, Henry.

But why don't you have any cloth?

My good woman, for cloth you need wool and for wool you need sheep...

And someone stole all our sheep.

O, I don't believe that silly story about the giant.

O, there's a giant alright, Mrs. Mergatroyd, because I saw him.

You see a lot of things that other people don't.

- Did you really seen him, Jack? - I saw his shadow.

How did you know it was the giant's shadow?

- That's a good question. Goodbye - Where are you taking that cow?

I gonna take my cow to Mr. Dinkelpuss the Butcher/

- What's all the excitement? - You have a whole cow.

And don't you try to deceive us.

Your not gonna hold this one for the black market.

The idea selling those last sirloin steaks for 7 cent a pound.

There ought to be a law...

Now ladies, ladies, ladies I haven't seen a cow around here for months.

But you bring somebody to me with such an animal, I'll

reward him like he's never been rewarded in his life.

I'll make him rich. Richer beyond his dreams...

I'll poor gold into his pocket. I'll poor gold so deep that...

Wait a minute. Not that scrawny animal.

You're not trying to pawn him off to me as first grade beef.

Why, I wouldn't let my worst customer use him for stew.

Her! And I love Henry.

Well, everybody to their taste but ...

Come inside Jack, and I'll give you the best deal I can afford.

Come on Henry.

I am sure that I will deceive you.

It's smarter than Jack.

What's he doing? Hey, what's your idea with that?

Well, I don't want everyone to know how generous I am

O, how much are you gonna give me for the cow?

Why, you asking money for that wonderful animal? I was gonna give you beans.

- What do I want with beans? - What do you want with my Magic beans?

I should have my head examined trying to make you rich.

Money your asking for heh? I'll give you money, worthless money.

How much do you want? Any price at all, how much?

Now wait a minute Mr. Dinkelpuss. I don't want that worthless money.

Either I get the Magic beans or I take Henry home.

Ohh, you strike a hard bargain boy. No beans, no cow!

Well, I know when I'm licked. Come out in the garden, I keep my beans hidden out there.

- Come on... - Magic beans.

You gotta get up awfully early in the morning to put anything over on me!

Come on, Henry. Let's go, Henry.

One, two...

three, four.

They must be around here someplace ... Gotta keep them buried you know.

You can't let the village know where these Magic beans are, they're priceless.

Here they are. My magic beans.

Don't tell anybody that I gave them to you, will you?

- Yes sir! - Ssh, it's a secret.

But I'll never realize, I'll never know how you ever talked me out them.

- Mr. Dinkelpuss... - What

- Can I say goodbye to Henry? - Well surely, go ahead.

- Alone. - Alone? ... Go right ahead.

I gotta say goodbye now. Be a good boy for Mr. Dinkelpuss.

Do you mind if I kiss you goodbye? Henry?

Your ... such a ... good pal.

The princess! The giant has stolen the princess.

Henry, d'you hear what they're yelling?

The giant has kidnapped the princess!

Goodbye Henry!

Don't worr...

I've been robbed!

Mother!

Mother!

- A terrible thing has happened. - Somebody has swindled you out of our cow?

O no, I made a nice deal for Henry.

But the giant kidnapped the princess and is holding her for ransom.

O the poor girl, I'll gladly contribute the money you got for the cow.

Money? Only a fool would take worthless money for such a valuable animal.

I've got five magic beans.

O Jack..

Why is it whenever I send you on an errand you always do the wrong thing?

One, two, three, four, five, Magic beans.

Ain't I a smart boy for out smarting the butcher?

You were indeed.

Plant the beans my boy. Maybe they'll grow something we can eat.

- Mother! - Plant the beans Jack.

I'll plant the beans. I'll plant them.

O, you're not ordinary beans are you?

Please beans, will you grow like Magic beans.

So I can prove to my mother that I am not addled-brained like they think I am.

Or am I?

O Magic beans.

One, two, three, four, five.

Grow, please grow.

Jack, will you please go to bed.

Yes, mother.

Please grow for me Magic beans, please.

Mother!

- Mother! - Jack what do you want?

- Will you please get my mother? - I am your mother.

Mmmother. Look!

Look! The beanstalk!

Look the beanstalk, look at it! It goes straight up in the sky

I tell you all, I grew this beanstalk last night.

It was five beans that I planted.

- Five Magic beans! - Jack, please stop repeating that nonsense!

Mother, this isn't nonsense! This is the truth.

Hey are those the beans I gave you for that cow that disappeared?

- You mean, Henry ran away? - Yes, and I want my beans back.

Don't you dare disturb that beanstalk.

It might lead up to the giants castle.

- So what! - So what?

Maybe a brave boy will climb that beanstalk and kill the giant.

And save the princess and live happily ever-after.

O no Jack, the giant will kill you like he did your poor father.

Have no fear, mother.

I'm gonna climb that beanstalk and I'm gonna kill the giant and avenge my father...

And then I gonna save the Princess and while I'm up there I'll look for our little Nelly

You mean this boy had a sister?

You poor unfortunate woman!

O No, Nelly was our hen who laid the golden eggs.

- A hen that lays a golden egg? - Fourteen carat.

-Up there? - O sure.

- Well, let me help you, my boy. - Goodbye, mother.

- I'll go along with you. - Bye, mother.

That's the boy, take your time now. Here we go.

Goodbye, mother.

Don't worry Mrs Strong, he won't be back.

O you don't understand. He wasn't much.

But he was all I had.

There goes Jack the reckless fool ...

For scooting up the beanstalk ...

And there's another fool...

Maybe tonight the twoo Be bottled in alcohoool

There goes Jack the village loon And almost up the beanstalk...

Scampering to the moon ...

Doesn't know what he's doon ...

He's hurrying to his ruin ...

No giant finds it bothersome to grapple with the midgets

He'll pin dear Jack beneath his thumb, and spank him with the digit..

Spank him with the digit..

Jack and the Beanstalk we'll all remember when...

He shimmied up the stalk to kill the giant in his den.

Once up the beanstalk, if Jack would stand apart

Then Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, for Jack you're good as gold.

Up, up, up, up, there he goes.

Up to where, nobody knows ...

Long is the beanstalk and short is little Jack

The long and short of it is, is he ever coming back?

Jack and the beanstalk Little Jack ...

But is Jack, ever coming back...

I'll be back, and when I've reappeared with the giant by the beard..

You will tell the kids the legend of the famous giant killer ...

... Jaaaaack ...

Come on, Mr. Dinkelpuss.

Give me your hand.

Take it easy..

Let's go!

The Giant!

I am the butcher.

Well cut me up.

- Mr. Dinkelpuss, .... the giant's castle. - What?

What? ... Hey you�re right, look at it!

- Come on. - We're in Giant land

Wait a minute.

Look at those footprints.

We must be getting close to the giant.

Come on.

- Mr.Dinkelpuss... - Now wait a minute...

Are you sure that hen Nelly lays golden eggs?

14 carat?

- Well..., then don't be afraid. - I wont.

Just follow me.

- Wait a minute, Mr. Dinkelpuss? - What's the matter?

How come your shadow is bigger than mine?

Well the taller you are the taller your shadow.

You see, that's the basic principle of mathematics.

I'm shorter than you ...

therefore my shadow should be smaller than yours.

- Mathematically speaking, right? - Right, why?

My shadow is making a fool out of your mathematics...

Why.... why that's impossible. That can't be your shadow.

No? Well watch this.

Amazing!

Uh, you think so? Now watch this.

Can you imagine that? Now if I didn't see this with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

It's absol... It's eh...

Hey .... what there's a ... there's a ...

Hey, Mr. Dinkelpuss you gotta look at this, this is ... this is terrific !

Mr. Dinkelpuss...

Mr. Dinkelpuss!

I think he's afraid of my shadow.

Why don't you be like me, I'm brave.

Because.... I fear nothing when I am in the right

Whoever pushes me around, will find me .. full of fight!

I fear nothing when I do nothing wrong...

And so I toddle on my way,

and sing a ... merry ...song.

I'll be defiant..

And be Obstreperous ...

If any giant, should try to salt and pepper us ...

And I'll rise up, up to my fullest fight..

Cause, I fear absolutely nothing, when I'm in the right.

A man believes what he believes...

And by these principles a man must stand...

A time will come for rolled-up sleeves..

And it might help to have a fist on hand ...

If I believe that I am right, there's only one thing to be done...

I don't go looking for a fight...

But I have never run away from one!

But only fools will take a dare ...

And there are things that only fools defy ...

If you smell trouble in the air ...

I hold my breath until a breeze blows by...

I�ll snort defiance, like some rhinoceros...

Afraid of giants? Now isn't that preposterous...

I find courage, a thing of great delight...

Sing, fill - i - ay ... and fill - i - ai ...

with steady hand and steely eye ...

I fear nothing... when I ... am ... in the ...right!

- How did you get here before me? - I made a new path through the Forrest.

Did you see what I saw?

Did you see that giant ? It is as big as the trees.

Please, why did you ever talk me into this thing?

I didn't talk you into this.

Now listen, you know my reputation in the village.

You know I had to listen to ya?

Why did I ever let you do it? Why did you do it?

Don't stand there with you mouth wide open, say something...

Mr. Dinkelpuss... I'm up here to save the princess.

- The princess? - We gotta save her.

- You're right, the princess... - There's the castle.

- Let's go... - Come on!

What am I doing? Go ahead.

Thank you.

O, it's beautiful! But it is a trifle too small for me.

A trifle she said. Glory be, I wish I knew why the master keep a wench like you around?

He likes my cooking. And I don't wanna hear another word out of you.

Her cooking? Can you make an Irish stew?

Can you boil a potato, like my poor mother used to boil them?

I can put you back in the cupboard if you don't shut up.

and I can tell the master you never put the princess in her cell, like he told you to.

- You win this time. - Patrick always wins.

Come back ... [sings Irish song] ...

Aah, tis in fine voice, I am today.

- I still can't believe that harp talks. - He talks too much.

- How do I look? - Ready to be locked up.

- Do I have to be? - Orders my dainty beauty, orders.

Unfortunately, he's right.

I meant to ask you, are you the giants wife?

Heavens no. I'm his housekeeper.

He stole me last year from another kingdom.

- Well, what'll do with me? - Release you for ransom money perhaps.

- And if there is no ransom money? - You make a lovely Sunday dinner.

Music in a dungeon like this?

Thank you for calling it music, who ever you may be.

- Who is he? - A troubadour the giant picked up yesterday.

Who are you?

Just a girl from the village below.

What's your name?

Erm...Darlene...

Are you as pretty as your name? My guess is yes.

That's a nice melody. Are there words to it?

Not yet, but there can be by tonight.

- What would you be doing? - What do you have in mind?

A rendezvous in the garden. I'll speak to the giant about it.

Fee, fi, fo, fum...

I smell the blood of an Englishman.

Be he alive, or be he dead...

I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

- Mr, if I'm too heavy for ya, I'd justly walk. - Me too.

Open the door!

Take me with ya...

Open the door!

Open the door!

Open the door!

Here's some extra help for the kitchen.

You're a little one, aren't you?

But I'll grow on people.

- Bless ya, me boy. - Who said that?

What do you know, a talking harp.

You said that?

I said, bless ya, and I sorry now I see you silly little face a bit closer.

Thank you, master. T'is a sight for sore eyes, it is yah.

Thank you, Patrick.

- Well, I'm of to hunt in the Forrest. - Will you want any supper?

- Just a midnight snack. - Anyone we know?

Could be.

- What's the matter with you? - Did you hear that?

- Yeah, I hope it's not me.

Well, what's the matter with you?

You standing on my foot....

Come with me.

I'll show you what you're supposed to do.

Yeah, you show me, and I'll show him.

Make the little fat one work until his back breaks.

I love the sound of cracking bones.

You're a bad harp, and you'll gonna have a bad end.

Sticks and stones, Sticks and stones,

Alright blabbermouth, into the cupboard you go.

Don't you dare put me into that dark cupboard again. Don't you dare..

A thousand curses on you, and I'll have me revenge.

Come back ... [sings Irish song] ...

A thousand curses on ya ...

That harp had very bad bringing-up.

You must be hungry? Would you like a glass of milk before supper's ready?

Yes, thanks.

Thank you Miss or is it Mrs?

- It's Miss, why? - Well, when I look at you...

Now wait! Now ...now...

- You're too young to go out with girls. - Yeah, but this might age me fast.

Here's to us!

- Now, leave that alone. - I don't wanna lose any of it...

- Well, don't get hoggish. - To us...!

- Well, you sweep me off my feet - I'd need a little help with that.

- It's Henry's, she's here! - How do you know?

No other milk ever tasted this pleasant.

- Where is she? - There's plenty of time for that.

But I have an idea how to escape if you're interested.

- We're interested. - Not me...

Not unless I can take along the princess.

Does she means that much to you?

O No, you jealous. You needn't be.

I promised my mother I would return home with the princess.

And after-all, a boy's best Mother is his friend.

- Is that right? - No!!!

- Your song is finished. - My song?

Listen.

Darlene ... a song for Darlene ...

Darlene ... for you alone ...

Darlene ... your name is music ...

Music ... I've never know ...

He walks ... in heaven ...

Who walks with music ...

And it's heaven being here ...

Heaven being ... very near ...

Darlene ... my darling Darlene ...

Darlene ...

My song ... is ...

You ...

- That's beautiful.. - It's mush.

- Jack! - Princess!

- Don't call me that. - Whaddya here, incognito?

Well sort of. There a young man in the next cell, and I don't want him to know who I am.

Why not?

All my life I wanted someone to know me as me ...

Not as Princess Eloise.

You have but to command, your highness. Here, eat this.

I will make it good and strong so we can sail you over the wall.

Sail me over the wall?

Yes, we're gonna build catapults out in the garden...

And the housekeeper she thought of it. She's on our side.

O wonderful! You don't suppose you let us out tonight for a rendezvous in the garden?

Princess, I didn't think that you cared for me?

Not you. I meant the young man I told you about.

Oh... Well, if I approve...

After-all, I am one of your royal subjects...

And I do so wanna see our Princess go out with the right fellow.

Goodbye, your highness.

Prince Arthur! I wondered what happened to you.

Say eh, aren't you the young fellow with the cow?

I'm alone now. Here's your supper.

I guess the princess was disappointed when I didn't show up at the wedding?

I never saw a girl cry so much in her life.

Why are you whispering for?

I don't want the girl in the other cell to know I'm a prince.

You don't?

No eh, look you seem to have some influence around here.

You don't suppose you could eh ...

Let you out tonight so you could have a rendezvous in the garden?

- How did you know? - It's a secret.

But first of all, I'll have to get you some other clothes.

Because the clothes you have on make you look to much like a prince, Prince.

Eh, your Highness, excuse me.

What have you decided?

Well, his parents don't have the background of yours, but he's a wonderful fellow.

And your loyal subject approves.

Well, thank you Jack.

I just got through telling the housekeeper and now I'm telling you ...

What on your mind?

The Prince is not a Prince, and the Princess is not the Princess.

- Then who are they? - Just a boy and girl in love.

Tonight, I want you to order a full moon and keep the stars shining bright.

History is gonna be made tonight.

Princess!

Mr. Dinkelpuss, I just got through telling ya...

She's not the Princess, she's Darlene. Aren't you Princess?

Are these the catapults? Yes, this is my own creation ...

You see, all you have to do is get on here... I

cut the rope and zoom you go right over the wall.

Will it work?

She's asking me, will it work...

- I'm asking you too, will it work? - Will it work?

- Get on here, Jack? - Wait a minute, is it dangerous?

Well, it's far too dangerous for a human being.

But you don't wanna hear, I'll show you whether it'll will work or not.

Wait a minute, too dangerous... Much too dangerous for a human being.

Come Princess, I mean, Darlene.

O, it's a lovely night to be somebody else...

Tell me, what's he like?

- He sings very pretty. - O, I know, but shall I ....

Shall I let him kiss me, if he tries?

O, Princess!

Why not?

- I have your word you wont try to escape? - You have my word!

Jack!!! Come on...

He loves me, he loves me not ...

- He loves me ... - Stop right there.

Don't take a chance.

- You're? - And You're?

That's right...

Is it?

I didn't expect somebody so ...

Neither did I ...

- Wont you...? - Sit down?

Thank you I will.

- Would I be bold if I ... - If you put your arm around me?

There's a dreamers cloth ... that dreamers weave...

A tapestry ... of make believe ...

A fine brocade ... of all your schemes ...

Exquisite ... fabric from ...

The mill of dreams ...

The threads ... are golden ...

Of silken strands ...

But not ... to hold in ...

These eager ... hands ...

Maybe ... if some day ... our arms entwine ...

We'll weave ... a dreamers' cloth ...

That's yours ... and mine ...

Imagination ... isn't real ...

But isn't it a spinning wheel ...

That spins the fabric on the loom ...

The frame that has a world ... of room ...

So spin your world and round you go ...

And sew and stitch ... and stitch and sew ...

The dreams you spin are ... finely spun ...

And dreamers' work is ... never done ...

The threads ... are golden ...

Of silken ... strands ...

But not ... to hold in ...

These eager ... hands ...

Maybe ... if some day ... our arms entwine ...

We'll weave ... a dreamers' cloth ...

That's yours ... and mine ...

If only dreamers' cloth ... were yours .... and mine ...

He's kissing her ... I mean, she's kissing him.

They're in love...

Dance?

Yes.

- Whaddya doing with the hammer? - What am I doing with the hammer?

I'm gonna tap everyone of those hens until I find the one that lays the golden eggs?

- Polly want a cracker? - No.

I'm sick and tired of that line!

Mr. Dinkelpuss, make sure you find Nelly.

I'll find her, alright!

- Mr. Dinkelpuss? - Yes?

- Did you find Nell yet? - Not yet

Well, she easy to find, she's pure white and wears a little red hat.

Have you got that chicken food .. mixed up yet?

O, will be soon, and wait till you see the eggs they lay.

Well, hurry up. I gotta get to the catapults.

I'm a little farm boy. I'm one guy who knows how to mix this food, Mr. Dinkelpuss.

- Well, feed the chickens! - I will.

- Go ahead, feed it to 'm... - Okay...

And a good "Good Morning" to ya master.

Good morning, harp. Housekeeper, housekeeper!

- Where's my breakfast? - On the way.

And bring me my favorite hen.

What the Fog, heaven forbid, do you see in that white feathered biddy?

Golden eggs, Patrick. Solid golden eggs!

The cells are unlocked and I put the keys back.

They're whispering master. What are they whispering about!

- O, I hate him. - Please take care of yourself.

I think she's worried. She cares for me.

Where is my breakfast?

- Yes Master.

Here's the eggs. Everything is going fine.

I go mad, stark raving mad, if they don't stop that whispering!!

Hey ... get a load of those jewels.

Come on.

Beautiful they are, but can they bring you happiness?

How did that little one get in here?

- Where's my breakfast? - You heard the giant!

- Can I help you put them away? - Can I trust you?

Eh, he's right, what a ridiculous question!

- Can I trust you? - Frankly, no.

My jewel of jewels!

My jewel of jewels! What can she do that I can't do!

Can you lay a golden egg?

I shudder at the thought.

Show him how talented you are.

Lay hen, Lay!

Nelly, ... how could you!

- It's only gold. - It's my main source of wealth.

Take her away.

- You! - Yes, sir.

I like a dishonest man, who admits it.

Carry these jewels back to the vault. She'll show you where it is.

Yes, sir.

- Do I, or don't I get my breakfast? - Yes, sir!

A man could starve around here. Make me a small omelette.

- Two eggs? - Twenty-two!!

Twenty-two...

Fresh laid this morning.

I fixed them special breakfast food myself.

What's all that shooting around here?

- Don't ask me. Ask the eggs. - Eggs don't explode.

O no? Get a load of this.

Aaaaw ... Give it here.

You Numbskull!

- I can't eat, you ruined my appetite. - O Mr. Giant, you should eat something.

Mr. Dinkelpuss!!! Mr. Dinkelpuss!!!

- Oi, when the giant gets that in his stomach... - I will get the giant.

Fee ... fi ... fo ... fum ...

I smell the blood of an Englishman ...

Be he alive or be he dead ...

I grind his bones and make my bread ...

Mr. Dinkelpuss!!! Mr. Dinkelpuss!!!

O, Mr. giant ...ow ... ow ... ooo!

The prince and the princess... They're trying to escape.

Let them.

They've taken your jewels and the hen that lays the golden egg.

The scoundrels! Keep him salted

Who's trying to steal my treasures?

We are! What about it?

Oo ... Nice work Mr. Dinkelpuss!

Hey, get everybody ready, get the catapults all set.

And I'll take care of him.

Polly, get the chain. Come on, hurry up..

Hurry up Polly, I�m a ...I�m a... I wanna get him all tied up.

Hold 'm Polly, Hold my stuff, thank You.

Okay Polly, Okay! Go upstairs now, I'll take care of him.

Oooh, you still hurt. Oooh

Naah, It's locked.

Come on! Come on!

- Why ain't you folks out in the garden? - The door is locked.

Well, where's the key?

The giant must have it, if it isn't with the rest of the keys.

- How about the window? - It's too high.

Too high, ... too high. The door is locked, the window is too high...

- Now what do we do? - Think, Jack, think.

- I got it! - What?

You take Darlene, put her on the mantle piece over the fireplace. Hurry up!

Quick, Mr. Dinkelpuss, you and Polly get under the chandelier.

- Wait a moment... - Get under the chandelier! Hurry up!

Master, master, it is a black day indeed.

You keep your mouth shut, or I cut you to ribbons.

Hey, come here. Now look I'm gonna get the chandelier over here.

I'm gonna put you on, and sail you right through the window, and Darlene is coming next.

Look out!

Here you are.

- Do be careful. - I'll try.

Come on, Mr. Dinkelpuss, You are next.

I'll be right back. I forgot a couple of things.

- Mr. Dinkelpuss! - Why, you greedy boy!

Whaddya mean?

Whaddya doing with the giant jewels and my Nelly!

- Never mind and swing me out of here. - Take your time, there's no rush.

Whaddya mean... Ssh quiet, quiet my little goldmine.

It's my Nelly. Let me see the jewels.

O no, they're mine. All mine, I share them with no-one.

I ... I come a long way with ... I ..

Mr. Dinkelpuss, I have not seen a face like that, since I seen a pork-chop in the window.

And you have no fear. Polly and I, we chained the giant up down in the dungeon.

He can't get away, because I ... left him ...

Now Mr. Giant, if you come one step forward, I'll let you have it.

Help me.

Mr. Dinkelpuss, grab the chandelier and swing out the window. Here it comes!

- Are you all right? - Yes, I'm alright.

Come on, let's get to the catapults.

Hey! Hey you, heyyy!

Hey you!

Hurry, get up on the mantle piece.

Coward, pushing an innocent girl. I will show you no mercy.

Hurry up. Hurry up.

Wait a minute. Oh! What ...stop ... Wait a ... minute!

Hold it, wait a minute!

My sword!!!

I fear nothing when I'm in the right.

All aboard for the catapult express.

Cut the ropes. No no, not that one.

Cut those first, then cut yours, but don't forget to get on.

- Shall I help you with the jewels. - O no, you don't. They're mine.

Cut the ropes.

Get ready!

Goodbye, Mr. Giant. Here I go.

Mr. Dinkelpuss!!!

O, please come down and get me like a good little tree.

Mr. Dinkelpuss! Mr. Dinkelpuss!

The giant got me.

Argh, ... what pain!

I'm too young to die ...

Is this kid kidding...

Mr. Dinkelpuss, you gotta help me!

That was a close one!

- What about Jack? - I'm afraid he gave his life for us.

Look, I found a diamond!

Look a diamond

- I see three people descending. - My dear boy, Jack?

Do you see him?

Nelly!! You've come back to us.

We'll be rich again

- The king, the King! - All hail the King!

My daughter! Oh, thank heaven you're safe.

She's the Princess? Princess Eloise?

Why of course, Prince Arthur. Who did you think she was?

But was are you doing in those clothes?

- You're Prince Arthur? - Small world isn't it?

I never want to speak to you again, as long as I live.

Let us go, father.

Darlene, ... I mean, Eloise ...

What is the difference who we are as long as we love each other?

You knew all the time a Prince couldn't break an engagement.

And neither could a Princess.

How were you going to get out of marrying Prince Arthur?

- Well, how were you going to get out of marrying Princess Eloise?

But that who you two are! Don't you remember?

Where's my poor boy? What's happened to Jack?

The last I saw him, he was dueling until death with the giant.

O, but a braver lad never lived...

Ready or not, here I come ....!!

- Coming down! - There�s your boy!

Come on there boy.

There's a hero if there ever was one. You should see him.

- Come on, boy. - Mother!

My boy, my boy!

O Mother, when am I gonna prove that I'm a man?

The giant, the giant!

This is the end!

Come on, come on!

He went clear through to China.

I wish the giant were alive alive this very minute ...

and looked inside his grave ... And see how lovely he looks in it ...

He's all laid out ... Like a very good scout ...

And he never looked better in his life ...

We are happy to ... give the devil his due ...

And he never looked better in his life ...

We sing ... Tralalala ... tralala ...

If he could only see himself ... He wouldn't know the monster ...

And if he knew him, he would be the only one who wantsta ...

- He met his doom ... - He falled down and go boom ...!

And he never looked better in his life ...

Someday by gosh, ... he'll be acres of squash! ...

And he never looked better in his life ...

He fell on his head ...

He gonna make ya ...

He's wearing several branches of the beanstalk for a necktie ...

I never seen a better look on corpuscle delicti ...

His toes are curled and he's out of this world ...

And he never looked better in his life ...

And there he lays to the end of his days ...

And he never looked better in his life ...

... Tralala haha

He's perpendiculala ...

How peaceful to see around the village tree ...

- And we owe it to ... - Come on, come on!

Jack and the bean ... stalk ...

Jack and the Beanstalk we'll all remember when...

- He shimmied up the stalk to... - I manage this boy!!

to kill the giant in his den...

When you bounce your kiddies on your knees ...

- In the future nurseries ... - Come on!

- You will tell them all about ... - Come on!

the legend of the giant killer ....

... Jaaaaack ...

Okay King, I'm waiting. Crown me.

That's an odd request ...

What's the matter with ... ?

You're the biggest racketeer kid I ever saw in my life!

Pain!

- What happened? - miss, your boy is the toughest kid I ever saw.

Hey Dink, I had the most beautiful dream.

Dream? Asleep on the job?!

Prince Arthur... Princess Eloise...

Mr. Dinkelpuss!

Dinkelpuss? Are you alright?

Right? Right?

I fear nothing when I am in the right

Whoever pushes me around, will find me .. full of fight!

I fear nothing when I do nothing wrong...

And so I toddle on my way ...