Original subtitles

LIZ: People today are obsessed with anything shiny and new.

But it's all an illusion.

Everything new fades.

But forgotten hotels are still good for some things.

Drug deals.

May-December indiscretions.

And ending it all.

I knew that look anywhere.

Seen it many times.

These two lucky birds are content.

At peace, even.

It's their wedding anniversary, they tell me.

60 years.

Four kids.

Nine grandchildren.

They've had a good run together.

But she's not quite the same anymore

since the cancer spread.

And he can't imagine his life without her.

The last thing she wants is to be a burden.

So they come here...

to be alone.

So they never have to be alone again.

I...

envy them.

(gunshots)

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?

All I can see is eight hours of hard scrubbing

gonna take to get

the blood off these walls.

Why don't people have the courtesy

to blow their brains out at their own home?

What if one of the kids found them like this?

Well, I don't see why that has to be my problem.

LIZ: Look at them.

(crying)

Why are you crying?

They were happy.

I feel like I'll never be happy again.

I pretend that I'm okay living in a world without Tristan,

but it's...

it's been difficult.

Besides,

knowing The Countess, it's just a matter of time

before she slits my throat.

What's the point of waiting around for someone to...

stab you in the back when I'm already dead?

No, no, no, no, no. Wait.

Just let me do it. No, no.

I don't want to be here. I know.

Well, you're gonna be stuck here for all of eternity

unless you get your head strapped on straight

before pulling that trigger.

Oh, shit.

Jesus.

You know how this goes.

(sighs)

Yeah.

And I'm guessing

you have plenty of unfinished business

still on your plate.

No, just one.

My son.

I always meant to put that right.

Tell him I'm sorry for leaving him.

Okay.

So you do that.

And that'll give me enough time to cancel

my Reader's Digest,

my Country Living.

Then we'll be ready to go.

"We"?

You don't have to do this alone.

I don't understand.

I thought you were reborn.

Donovan was my one true love.

I thought when he brought me back from the brink of death,

it was because he loved me.

He doesn't love me.

He never will.

We'll do it together then.

Make a clean exit.

¶ ¶

¶ ¶

MS. EVERS: Yes, dear, the Hotel Cortez

in downtown Los Angeles.

And you have the dates now.

That's right, dear.

One whole week-- your papa's treat.

What's that, um...?

He wants to know, "Why now?"

Well, I'd hoped to reach your father to ask,

but alas, I cannot.

I-I must away. Bye now.

(hangs phone up)

Really...

I can't thank you enough.

If you don't mind my asking,

how long has it been?

I haven't seen my son in 31 years.

I've written letters.

God knows I've written checks.

The bank statement always let me know that each one cleared.

I took that as...

a sign.

I must caution you.

You don't know exactly the young man's aspect.

I don't follow you.

His worldview.

I-I fear you are challenging him to be very understanding.

Let me stop you right there.

Back in my day, fairies knew

never to father children.

It would, it would only add to the mayhem.

My cousin Frederick.

He was always getting into his sister's

peignoir and stockings.

And-and then one day, he found his place.

His station in life.

Took his comfort in the sacramental vestments.

He might've become a monsignor,

had he not succumbed to his appetites.

I'm not a pedophile!

I lost interest long ago

in whatever you claim to be.

No, all I know is some poor boy

threw a ball in the backyard,

and suddenly

his proud papa wasn't there to catch it.

So now here comes this same little boy

to visit someone he's always longed to see.

And instead he's going to be confronted

by the ghost of Theda Bara.

I mean, it's-it's quite a fright indeed.

That's enough!

Anyhoo.

Where's that item you promised me?

You haven't forgotten your end of the bargain.

Have at it.

(chuckling) Go nuts.

Oh, who would have thought?

Oxygen in the soap!

Yes. For God's sake, look.

"Radiant whites," it says.

You are an absolute marvel.

It's like Christmas morning.

Ears.

For they heard the calling of false gods.

You're a clever man, John Lowe.

MAN: Empty your hearts.

Let the Lady of Shadows hear your prayers.

Welcome to our church.

Is this your first time here?

Know that the old gods are not dead.

They're waiting to be awakened.

What is your name?

I am...

death.

(screams) (men grunting)

(woman screaming)

No!

One more and you'll be free.

("Lucretia My Reflection" by Sisters of Mercy playing)

What is the meaning of this?

¶ I hear the roar of a big machine... ¶

Welcome.

Thank you for coming.

¶ Two worlds and in between... ¶

What do you want?

Who are you?

¶ Hot metal and methedrine... ¶

Who am I?

¶ I hear empire down... ¶

I'm you, asshole.

COUNTESS: We need to have a little talk.

I didn't really think that you brought me here

to rummage through your old clothes.

And I'm not interested in your castoffs anyway.

Though I know you're very interested in mine.

VALENTINO: So, you know my entire biography?

Damned behind a wall for decades.

And now ready to be damned again.

I love her!

You think you love him?

You love a distant memory.

You love an image on a screen.

You're nothing more than a fan to him.

¶ Dum-dum bullets... ¶

You know, your petulance is very common.

It is always this way with pretty boys

who are past their prime.

¶ Empire down... ¶

You should grow out that little beard, you know?

Maybe you could find, uh, work in the Westerns.

We don't need you.

You know nothing

of my resourcefulness,

little mouse.

You can go.

You wouldn't last two days

with The Countess in the real world.

Once she sees how you shit yourself

at the sound of a traffic helicopter.

Oh, I know all about you.

I am the greatest screen lover of all time.

You're cheap.

You've always been cheap.

(laughs)

You have a freaking sword.

I should've killed you after our first tango.

You should be honored to die by its blade.

Bitch, please.

Really?

Who's the little mouse now?

She's gonna mourn over that pretty face.

¶ We look hard ¶

¶ To see for real ¶

¶ Such things I hear... ¶

You're not so pretty now, are you?

¶ I don't see much evidence ¶

¶ I don't feel ¶

¶ I don't feel... ¶

I have better cheekbones, anyway.

Cheekbones for days.

Help! Help!

Can anybody hear me?! Help!

MARCH: You can scream as loud as you like.

In fact, I prefer it.

What do you want from me?

No.

No. Oh, now...

Help me. You failed.

I'm a contractor.

I make optimistic projections.

Please, I'll do anything.

I'll make this up to you.

Please, don't do this.

I'll do anything you want, please.

Please don't.

A man is only as good as his word.

(screams)

(screaming)

What are you doing?

Keeping up the practice.

I have great plans for us, you and me.

Ever since my death,

my hunting grounds have been limited

to the confines of this hotel.

And as rich as it may be,

there are opportunities available to you

that I can only dream of.

Where's my wife?

Forget her.

I find spouses to be a distraction.

I suspect my own to have ended my career prematurely

by turning me in to the police.

I've forgiven her, of course,

because of her immense beauty.

I need to find Alex.

You know where she is.

Of course.

I know everything.

I have nothing but time and imagination.

But what I have planned for us, beyond the Ten Commandments,

will elevate you to the zenith of our profession.

You take the glory, John.

I'll stand humbly in your shadow.

You tell me where she is

or your dreams are just that.

Precocious.

I'd expect nothing less from my star pupil.

Come!

Your reunion awaits.

MS. EVERS: There's nothing like the steam from a fresh pot

to loosen the phlegm from the lungs.

Thank you.

You mustn't have an argument on an empty stomach.

It upsets the balance of the day.

I'm sure you didn't wake me up

to have a cup of coffee.

You told me Holden was

a hallucination. That was a lie.

You tried to make me think I was going crazy.

Well, that was the truth.

You kept my son away from me.

In case you haven't noticed,

he's not the child you knew.

I made my choice to be with Holden.

I didn't tell you

because I was afraid you would say something to change my mind.

I don't regret my decision.

We have another child.

I haven't forgotten about Scarlett.

All this time,

you've seen her twice.

She told me.

And how many times have you been to visit Grandma?

No excuses.

We abandoned her.

We're the world's worst parents.

Well, at least that's one thing we can agree on.

Maybe it'll be better for Scarlett with me gone.

What's that supposed to mean?

We're in trouble.

I made a mistake a while ago,

and The Countess holds me responsible.

Tell me.

COUNTESS: A pack of wild children

drained a man of all his blood.

Anything you want to tell me, Alex?

ALEX: I saved my patient. Max was dying from measles.

So you turned him... and he turned the others.

One chance to fix this problem.

Countess told me she'd kill me and Holden

if I didn't make things right.

I know it's not your problem...

If it involves you and Holden,

it's my problem.

What do we have to do?

MS. EVERS: Tap.

Tap-tap-tap.

Tap-tap-tap.

That's Morse Code for "he's coming up the stairs."

Clutch your pearls, Daddy.

(exhales)

Good God.

I didn't think I'd be so nervous.

Your son is all settled in his room.

He knows about the complimentary drink tickets,

and here he comes to redeem them.

(exhales)

Okay.

Bye now. (giggles)

Good afternoon.

It's happy hour,

so...

feel free to smile.

(chuckles)

Maybe...

something to drink?

Sure.

How about a bourbon rocks?

And a soda back, please.

I'm Douglas.

Call me Liz.

What's your, uh...

what's your line of work?

Uh, I work for a guy who owns

huge properties packed with self-storage units

in and around Denver.

Oh.

Company makes some serious coin...

Oh. ...not that I do.

Hey, I like your dress,

by the way.

Sparkly!

What do you call those?

What?

Uh, the... those round things.

The... oh.

Paillettes.

(both laugh)

DOUGLAS: And then... then my wife insisted

that I needed to find a new boss.

Or to... better yet, she said,

to be my own.

I mean...

Oh, give her a break.

Your bride sounds astute.

Yeah.

Yeah, she is.

(chuckles)

But that doesn't make the mortgage payment

any less late.

We all have dreams, you know?

Not meant to drop everything...

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I disagree.

You go ahead.

You move to Boulder and you start that kayak company.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bend your ear.

I've always kept my own counsel, you know?

Coming up, it was, uh...

just my mom and I.

Dad split.

Missed my one great season in Pee Wee League.

(chuckles)

I can't blame the guy.

I was a rambunctious kid.

Oh...

you shouldn't blame yourself.

I'm sure your father had his reasons.

Well, those'll be news to me,

whenever I hear 'em.

I guess he's on my mind.

I'm in town 'cause we're...

finally gonna reconnect.

Well...

here's to that.

Yeah.

This, uh, next one's on me.

Nice of you.

Maybe another time.

I'd like that.

ALEX: We're too late.

The police must have tracked down

the delivery boy.

Kids must be long gone.

Maybe not.

Somebody's inside.

(door creaks)

(rustling sound)

Hey.

Stay here.

(coughing)

(coughing continues)

Hey there.

What's your name?

Kimmy.

I want my mommy.

Okay, Kimmy.

Let's see what's going on with you.

Get away from her!

(screams)

(grunting)

(gunshot)

Don't move!

You're bleeding.

I'm okay.

Yo!

Don't make me have to shoot you.

You don't scare me.

There's a lot more of us than you.

We told you not to come back.

(coughing) Kimmy!

Please.

Please, you have to help her!

Maddie! Get back.

You ready? Breathe for me. Ready?

Come on, honey.

MADDIE (sobbing): Come on, Kimmy.

Fix her! ALEX: I can't stop.

(Maddie sobbing)

Kimmy, come on.

ALEX: Come here.

Come on.

(sobbing)

Why did you stop?

Help her!

It's too late for Kimmy.

MADDIE (crying): Come on.

It doesn't have to be too late for the rest of you.

DETECTIVE: How long has your husband been missing, Mrs. Drake?

Since Wednesday evening.

Virtually the last thing he said to me was, "I do."

Then I came up here to change

and finish packing.

He was going to the bar for a drink.

That's the last I heard from him.

I wouldn't panic yet, Mrs. Drake.

Some grooms, um, they get cold feet

after the ceremony instead of before.

Oh, you don't know my husband.

He's a very responsible human being.

He would never abandon his new bride

or his young son this way.

Something must have happened.

Darling, I wasn't aware we had visitors.

I'm Will Drake.

Dearest.

Sir, your wife was under the impression you'd gone missing.

"Missing"?

(chuckling): No.

No, I was just exploring the new renovation on the seventh floor

and got lost in the hallways for two days.

I'd love to show it to you.

My wife designed it herself. Oh, we couldn't possibly waste

You really should see what's in there. these officers' time any longer.

I am so sorry...

for how I've inconvenienced you.

(chuckling): I was... confused.

Yeah.

DETECTIVE: Well, we're just glad everything turned out okay.

COUNTESS: A happy ending without all the tugging

and the pushing and...

Thank you. Thank you again.

(door closes)

You murdered me, you bitch.

Oh, get over it.

You pissed me off.

You made disparaging remarks about Bartholomew.

That I cannot abide.

Bullshit.

This was your plan all along.

So what happens now?

My body turns up in some filthy alleyway?

You take control of my empire?

I thought I'd dissolve the empire, convert it to cash.

Well, you forget.

You're not in the will.

No, you forget.

Lachlan inherits everything.

And you made me his legally appointed guardian.

I'll be guiding him.

Only until he reaches his majority.

Assuming he ever does.

Are you threatening my son?

I don't kill children, but I could make him a blood relative.

You mean like that woman who sucked me dry in the hallway.

You're a lot smarter dead than you ever were alive.

Try and keep it that way.

(grunts)

Why don't you go visit our son?

We wouldn't want anything to upset him.

Tell him we decided not to honeymoon in Paris after all.

I advised you not to kill him on the premises.

Bite me.

¶ ¶

(elevator bell dings)

ALEX: There's a room at the end of the hall.

It's ready for you.

I'm gonna try and find you something or someone to eat.

You must be starving.

We can wait out here till you get back.

I'll just be a sec.

Okay.

Come on.

Go on in.

Your friends are waiting for you.

I don't want to.

JOHN: Let's go.

No! No! No!

(pounding on door) No!

Help! Open up! Open it!

(pounding on door)

Let us out! Open up!

Max!

I told you, we should have never trusted that bitch!

Shut up!

(grunting)

(Ramona grunts)

(chuckles)

Mama... smells appetizers.

ALEX: Why do I feel like a teenager

that's about to get caught? (John chuckles)

We're getting a divorce.

We're not supposed to be sleeping together.

Who says we have to go through with it?

I do.

Has anything really changed since I gave you the papers?

Everything.

You found Holden.

You are different, aren't you?

Something solid behind your eyes.

You're all there.

Finally got it together, John.

I can't.

I have to process this.

And I have to check on Holden and the kids.

I am interested in this new John, though.

(door closes)

SALLY: Did you come inside her,

or did you shoot on her tits like you do with me?

Sally.

With the whore, it's always on the tits.

That's what I am to you.

A whore.

You're wrong.

It's not like that.

I told you what you meant to me.

Yeah.

You told me you loved me.

And don't you dare deny it.

I'm not a liar.

I have loved you.

But what we have is an addict's high.

In the moment, it seems like it's never ending.

But it always ends.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, baby.

There will never be anyone like me.

John...

you can't tell me that this isn't what you want.

No.

Come on. No.

Alex is not the answer.

She doesn't know about you.

Not the way I do.

How's she gonna take it when she finds out the truth?

That you're a serial killer.

You think she'll take you back?

Accept you the way I do?

No, I have to try.

For Scarlett and for Holden.

Bullshit.

This is for you.

It's for you.

You're right.

If I'm being honest with myself.

She left you.

She lied to you.

She wanted you out of her life.

I was there for five years.

I'm sorry.

I deserve more than this!

(both grunting)

(elevator bell dings)

Stay away from me.

You'll be back, asshole!

She'll leave you once she learns what you are.

She'll leave you, or maybe I'll kill that bitch!

Oh, it's the most beautiful thing

I have ever laid eyes on.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Oh, oh, how-how... how do I use it again?

(sighs)

Uh, okay, you press this once for cold.

(chuckles)

And twice for hot.

And there's even a separate setting for delicates.

(shudders)

Oh, and no more wringing.

No more wringing.

Oh, heavenly day.

Thank you for helping me reconnect with my son

and for giving him such excellent turndown service.

So... good to go?

Oh, yeah, I think so.

Um, have we settled on a method?

Pills? Gun? Knife?

Oh, Queen of the Nile, I must tell you.

Your son has been perched in the Blue Parrot for quite a while.

Would you like me to tell him that you will not be back?

Because you're doing yourself in? Shit.

Mainly wanted a moment of your time.

Okay.

Really?

I just wanted to tell you something.

Janice and I are Boulder-bound. (chuckles)

Well, cheers to that.

Thanks for the push in the right direction.

I have something to tell you.

And... it's... rather difficult.

Um...

Hey... Dad.

It's not difficult.

Or... it doesn't have to be.

Mom gave me a few clues.

I put them together.

(laughs): She warned me

that I wouldn't recognize you, but I-I did.

I mean, I do.

I don't recognize myself in you.

How did I get so lucky to raise a child

so...

compassionate?

Mom raised me.

You left.

That hurt.

And maybe that's what...

...makes me see when other people are all...

messed up inside.

Plus, Janice hears me, you know?

Even when I don't even know what I mean.

And I told her

that I was gonna make things good tonight.

And she's happy for us both.

You have no problem with the fact

that your father is a woman?

I really learned something when Pedro died...

...on The Real World.

(chuckles)

Sorry.

And I kept learning.

Plenty of time to talk it out, Liz.

But, hey,

there's plenty of room

for another woman in my life.

(choked up): Okay.

My goodness, I do love watching you

work with a knife.

I was a little surprised to get your call.

I figured you'd be in Paris,

murdering your husband

and dumping his body in the Seine.

I did a rather stupid thing, I suppose.

Felt great at the time, but now I have

a bit of a mess to deal with.

Oh, I know just what you mean.

Before we could leave for our honeymoon,

we had a squabble.

So I chucked him in with Ramona and she ate him.

Baby. (laughs)

You hate-watched without me.

Don't be mad.

We can dump someone else in there, maybe this weekend.

In the meantime, I need you to do something for me.

Name it.

I need you

to retrieve Will's body

before it gets too ripe.

And I think Ramona should go back in the iron maiden.

Hmm.

Sure.

And while I'm cleaning up your mess,

maybe you can clean up mine.

What did you mean "your mess"?

Why don't you text your boyfriend

and ask him?

Oh, oh, that's right.

He doesn't know how to text.

And you can forget about FaceTime.

(gasping)

(sobbing)

(crying)

(elevator bell dings)

It's open.

(stammers) I just need a sec.

I wasn't sure what we-we landed on,

so I-I just put out a selection.

Help yourself.

Christ, it's like you're an arms dealer.

There.

God.

Ah, boy, it took a lot longer than I thought.

But it's finally done.

What is?

It's my tribute video.

Nobody's gonna be rushing to extol my virtues once I croak,

so I decided to immortalize myself.

Tell me what you think.

And be honest.

("I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack playing)

¶ I hope you never lose your sense of wonder ¶

¶ You get your fill to eat ¶

¶ But always keep that hunger... ¶

You put a lot of work in this.

¶ May you never take one si... ¶

Yeah.

I just, I wanted it to be

a beacon of hope

for my three followers on Instagram.

(chuckles)

Okay, I'm ready.

Let's do this.

You know, I'm just thinking

the chimp might go better before the rainbows.

So it's over the "Never lose your sense of wonder" lyric.

You're stalling.

My Douglas.

He just told me he wants me in his life.

So you're out.

(sniffles)

What if one day he has kids?

I'd be a grandmother, Iris.

Yeah, well, I've lived alone all my life.

Every single person I've ever loved

has abandoned me,

so why should you be any different?

Listen to me, Iris.

You and I

are women of a certain age.

We have suffered

more than our fair share.

Damn it.

We are the ones who should inherit the earth.

We should freaking take over this damn hotel!

Spiffy it up.

Turn it into a place with as much hope

as your rainbow montage.

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

We're entitled to a second chance.

A glorious,

blazing final act.

My...

friend...

the best is yet to come.

If we do this, there's no going back.

(blipping and beeping)

Daddy.

Holden.

Holden!

(laughter through tears)

I can't tell you how long I've waited to do this.

Five years.

Yeah.

He's exactly how I remembered him.

And that's exactly how he'll stay.

It's time to go home.

(elevator bell dings)

John!

Who's that?

Just keep walking.

I'm going to kill you!

I swear on my soul

I'm going to kill you!

John...!

(screaming): John!

(door closes)

¶ You used to call me on my cell phone ¶

¶ Late night when you need my love ¶

¶ And I know when that hotline bling ¶

¶ That can only mean one thing ¶

¶ I know when that hotline bling ¶

¶ That can only mean one thing ¶

¶ Ever since I left the city, you ¶

¶ Got a reputation for yourself now ¶

¶ Everybody knows and I feel left out ¶

¶ Girl, you got me down, you got me stressed out ¶

¶ 'Cause ever since I left the city, you... ¶

You didn't run.

¶ Started wearing less and going out more ¶

Why would I run?

¶ Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor... ¶

You'd only find me.

I couldn't find him.

¶ You used to call me on my cell phone ¶

For almost a century.

I didn't know if he was dead

or had abandoned me.

Neither of which were true,

because he'd been trapped here

the whole time.

(music stops)

He's not the only one who's been trapped here.

We all have.

At least now he's free.

And this time you know he didn't abandon you.

Is that what you want, Donovan?

Is that why you did this terrible thing?

Because you wish to be set free?

I suppose I do.

I knew what this would mean.

I knew what he meant the moment I saw him.

What he was to you.

What I could never be.

He made me!

He made me.

He made me everything I am!

And you made me

in his image.

Yes, I did.

I tried to.

I thought I couldn't be without him.

You were never him.

You could never be him.

So you destroyed him.

First chance I got.

(bottle cap pops)

(liquid pouring)

And you knew I'd come back here to kill you.

Yes.

And you don't care.

I do.

I do care.

I just don't mind.

Dying is the only way you'll let me love you.

I don't know how else to do it.

Beautiful boy.

Willing to sacrifice everything...

...for the love of me.

(crying): What a beautiful thing I've made.

¶ You used to call me on my cell phone ¶

¶ Late night when you need my love ¶

¶ Call me on my cell phone ¶

¶ Late night when you need my love ¶

¶ And I know when that hotline bling. ¶