Original subtitles

(VO): This is Richard Anderson.

Here are some exciting scenes from "Return Of Death probe Part 1".

Rudy and Dan Kelly were modifying the formula...

and they were pouring it this morning.

That's when the men broke into the mill, took over at gunpoint...

added something to the mill.

They added a newly processed steel alloy.

Not scrap metal or the usual additives.

Pal, you're going to work in a steel mill.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

This forged invoice tells us the real alloy was shipped to a fictitious company.

Only you could've arranged that, Kelly.

You tried to cover by melting this fake stuff.

I'm not gonna answer any question you ask...

and I'm not gonna volunteer any information you'd find useful.

What's that?

(LOUD WHIRRING, THUMPING)

I don't know, but I've heard that sound before.

My God, it is.

OSCAR: Another Russian probe.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(LOUD WHIRRING)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

The Russians are accusing us of stealing the plans for their Venus Probe.

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

You put that together with the incident of the stolen alloy...

and it becomes very, very interesting.

MAHMOUD: Remarkable machine.

OSCAR: I suppose you stole the plans from the Russians.

And the alloy with which to make it from the O.S.I.

All right, what do you really want?

Two nuclear warheads.

I could order an evacuation of the city.

There's not enough time to get that many people out of there.

Gentlemen, your position is hopeless.

We'll soon be at the point of no return.

Our machine will be reversibly committed to its target.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(LOUD WHIRRING)

And now the exciting conclusion of "Return Of Death Probe".

FLIGHT COM: It looks good at NASA One.

B-52 >PILOT: Roger.

BCS Arm switch is on.

FLIGHT COM: Okay, Victor.

B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch is on. Here comes the throttle.

Circuit breakers in.

STEVE: We have separation.

B-52 PILOT: Inboard and outboards are on.

I'm comin' forward with the side stick.

FLIGHT COM: Looks good.

PILOT: Ah, Roger.

STEVE: I've got a blowout in damper three.

SR-71 PILOT: Get your pitch to zero.

STEVE: Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!

B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“. Threat selector is emergency.

STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it! She's breaking up! She's breaking...

ANNOUNCER: Steve Austin. Astronaut.

A man barely alive.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.

We have the technology.

We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man.

Steve Austin will be that man.

Better than he was before.

Better, stronger, faster.

(MAIN TITLE THEME)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

Hey, we're back in business.

We were never out of business.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

You're a very brave man, Colonel Austin. I'm pleased you weren't hurt.

Well, you make exceptions for brave men, don't you?

What about everybody else?

That probe could kill women and children, but you don't care about that, do you?

On the contrary. I sincerely hope no one is hurt.

You can see to that.

Providing we give you nuclear weapons...

if you're telling the truth.

I'm an honorable man.

I'm not accustomed to having my word questioned.

Why did that probe leave you alone, Steve?

I don't know.

Because you wisely discontinued jamming its radio.

The Probe reported what its sensors told it...

and the people at the other end decided not to harm anyone at this time.

You should now know of the dangers of interfering with communication.

While its radio was jammed, that Probe made course changes.

It went off at an angle, then veered right, then left.

What are you getting at?

If somebody was telling it to turn, that's one thing.

The machine did it on its own.

Why would it make minor course corrections...

and then get back on the same track?

We don't know anything about its sensors.

Maybe it was designed to react to and avoid obstacles.

No, no. Some of the changes were made when nothing was in its path.

Every move was programmed long before it started out.

And while you wonder about insignificant details of its route, time is running out.

Can we get a helicopter to keep an eye on that thing?

Yes, I've got one three miles from here in case we need it.

Chopper One, this is Goldman speaking.

I want you to take a course 0-7-4.

Locate the Probe, keep an eye on it and report back its movements.

This is Chopper One. Wilco. Out.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

KELLY: The Probe's working perfectly.

BATES: What else is new?

It's on a straight line to the target.

Now will you relax?

I told you nothing could possibly go wrong.

It's like a Doomsday machine.

Anything gets in its way, too bad.

That thing really can't be stopped, can it?

Not by anybody but us.

Keep monitoring the output.

(LOUD WHIRRING, THUMPING)

This is Leader calling Vector Seven.

Leader calling Vector Seven.

Do not respond. I repeat, do not respond.

Any transmission would be picked up by the O.S.I. and triangulated.

This is a progress report.

The program is proceeding as intended.

I am in Action Area 2.

I will issue the final warning now and will proceed to Area 5.

Now listen carefully.

If I do not send Code Override cancellation...

in 21 minutes, cancel the fail safe.

The machine is to proceed to Target 3 at all speed.

End of message.

This is Chopper One.

Subject is below me, half a mile due south of the lower end of Lake Blalock.

Moving south by southwest. Over.

Keep us advised of any change in course. Over.

Chopper One. Wilco. Out.

Find anything?

No.

Nor will you.

This map isn't detailed enough to chart the small moves made by the Probe.

Get a larger one. Sergeant?

May I?

Gentlemen, there is one aspect of your map I hope you won't overlook.

Your pilot said south by southwest, right?

Yes.

Brannon City, with a population of 200,000, is ahead of the Probe.

At its present rate of speed...

it could be driving into that city in exactly 43 minutes...

tearing through buildings, breaking gas mains...

causing explosions and fires.

So, that's your target, is it?

It could be.

Please do your best to prevent such an appalling event.

I don't even want to think of the consequences should you fail.

All right, what's your proposition?

My plane will be ready for instant take off.

Upon delivery, I will immediately depart for my country.

My assistants will be advised to withdraw the Probe...

once I am safely en route.

Gentlemen.

He's got us boxed in and he knows it.

I think you're right.

M-Z 4C7.

Yes, sir.

For you, sir. Dr. Wells.

What have you got, Rudy?

I've scrounged enough of the same alloy to make a battering ram.

It'll be just as tough as the skin on that Probe.

Unless I miss my guess, we'll have greater power on our side.

Good. Get it over here as soon as you can.

It's already being trucked to a cargo plane.

I'll keep you informed, Rudy.

Right, See you, Oscar.

Now, we'll see what happens...

when an irresistible force meets an immovable object.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Here it comes.

I'll take it from here.

You get on back to the command post.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(HYDRAULICS WHIRR)

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

Steve, I've ordered the evacuation of Brannon City.

It'll save some lives.

You know, the only feasible evacuation route from Brannon City...

is down the mountain road to Apple Valley.

I know the road will be choked, but what else can we do?

Once you've got thousands people on the run, you can't turn them back.

You know what's 15 miles down the road.

Of course I do. The O.S.I. Desert Testing Center.

Weapons, gases, explosives...

Mahmoud knows, too.

What'll we do?

If we don't evacuate, he hits the city.

If we do evacuate, he blasts the desert center.

Either choice, it's as devastating as dropping a nuclear bomb.

We've got to learn the reasons for those course changes.

I've got those surveyors out in the field.

They're plotting those course changes down to the last inch.

Still no fixed positions, Steve.

Well...

I guarantee he didn't come back here with any good news.

Stay with it. I'll be right back.

Arnold.

All right, Arnold, let's hear all the bad news, whatever it is.

You've got the wrong word for it. Bad is an understatement.

What now?

You know that I talked to King Faoud about his charming cousin Mahmoud...

who'd like to have one or two of your nuclear devices to play around with.

Arnold, will you spare me the diplomatic chit chat and get down to the bottom line?

All right. We're facing a war in the Middle East.

Faoud is chewing up his carpet.

He's convinced Mahmoud and the neighboring Sheikdom of Qabai...

are conspiring against him.

He demands that we arrest Mahmoud and send him home in chains...

and if we don't, he and his allies will attack Qabai.

If he does that, that whole area will go up in smoke...

and there's no way we could remain uninvolved.

Hmm...

I don't want to arrest Mahmoud right now.

I'm trying to spin a trap for him.

Have you set one up?

Set one?

I haven't even thought of one.

I want to use Mahmoud to stop that probe if Steve fails.

He won't stop it without his nukes and we won't give him any.

I need time. Time to maneuver.

Let's worry about Mahmoud later on...

and see what we can do about stopping that probe now.

When will you do that?

Less than an hour, or it's too late.

(HYDRAULICS WHIR)

Looks like it has a problem.

I got an idea. I think that machine just told me something.

OSCAR: What?

STEVE: It won't cross that ditch on its own.

Maybe we can get it to take a fall.

Let's get back to the command post.

Oscar? Mmm?

Let's get some digging equipment over here.

This old excavation site. To do what?

Widen it, set it up like an elephant trap.

Okay, you put the Probe in that, but what good does it do?

Rudy found the alloy of the Probe weakened in a hydrochloric acid bath.

If I can get it into that pit, it gets a bath.

Good.

But, Steve, the Probe precedes on its own.

How you gonna get it to follow you?

Always aim for the eyes, Oscar.

Let's order up a tank load of that hydrochloric acid.

OSCAR: All right, boys! Let's get that hole covered up!

We haven't got any time!

Get that truck out of there, get that Jeep out of there, let's go!

Make sure you keep that tanker truck a mile or two away.

We don't want the Probe's sensors picking up the fumes from that acid.

Uh, running out of time, pal.

(LOUD WHIRRING, THUMPING)

Well, I'll go get it. You get ready.

Yeah.

OSCAR: Let's get this thing topped now.

Get the camouflage top over here.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

All right, keep covering those boards with dirt.

Get them close together.

That's right. So the dirt won't go through.

Come on, boys. Let's go. We haven't got much time.

All right, men. Right over there in the corner.

Put a little more dirt over there.

You can see it. That's it. Right around the edges.

That's it. Come on, guys. We haven't got much time.

Let's go!

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BEEPING)

You got him this time!

Yeah, it shouldn't be able to climb the walls of that pit.

Tanker truck's on its way.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

What now?

I don't know. I don't like it. It's not playing rough enough.

Steve, it's tunneling!

(SHOT, EXPLOSION)

(SHOT, EXPLOSION)

Mobile Command, this is Austin. Come in, please.

Sergeant Warren, Colonel. Over.

I need correlates on the Probe fast.

Heading due South, Sector 4.

Still a collision course with Brannon City.

Have you had any indication where the Probe might be breaking out?

If there are no deviations on the course it's taking, we'd estimate...

we'd say at the Humboldt Wash.

Okay. Thank you, Mobile Command. Austin out.

If that thing comes out at Humboldt Wash...

we'll have a fighting chance to change its course...

before it cuts the utility supply lines in Brannon City.

Let's go.

Mobile Command, this is Chopper One.

We're picking up course deviation from the Probe near Humboldt Wash.

Notify Mr. Goldman when you talk to him. Over.

Roger, Chopper One. Wilco. Out.

What is that thing doing? Playing games with us?

Right now, we better play the game its way...

until we find a better one of our own.

(WHIRRING, THUMPING)

This is Oscar Goldman speaking, over.

This is Mobile Command Post, Mr. Goldman.

We've come up with a funny kind of pattern on the Probe's minor corrections. Over.

Might be the lead we've been looking for.

We're on our way.

WARREN: This is the exact course taken by the Probe.

Yes, but it could still angle off and hit the Brannon City power plant...

and the test center.

Unless we can stop it fast, it'll be too late.

Except for obstacles, it only changed directions here, here and here.

In response to changes in the earth's magnetic field.

WARREN: It sure looks that way.

If we changed the magnetic force...

we might be able to alter the Probe's direction.

Steve, how are you gonna change the earth's magnetic force?

We can't, but the Probe may not be able to tell one source of magnetism from another.

Have you got any magnets?

No, sir. But we could order some from... No, there's no time.

Aren't there magnets in those portable speakers?

Yes, Colonel, there are.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

With this magnet and the one in the other speaker...

we should be able to alter the Probe's course.

I'll have Rudy get some more magnets right away.

Get Dr. Rudy Wells on the phone right away.

Yes, sir. Okay, Jam the radio.

Make sure that the Probe can't receive or send messages.

OSCAR: Rudy, there's no time to argue. I need them right away.

Okay, Oscar.

I'll get you induction coils so you can vary the magnetic field.

Good. Rudy, I'm not sure this is gonna work.

We are jamming the radio reception so it can't receive instructions...

but its onboard computer is processing information from its sensors.

I've been working on something that may help on that.

Good.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(DRILL BUZZING)

OSCAR: Steve! Look out!

(SOFT CLUNK)

Well, there's not much more we can do here.

STEVE: At least we know now it does react to magnets.

That material that Rudy ordered oughta be at the Command Post by now.

Let's go.

I'll call you back.

The induction coils and magnets just arrived and Dr. Wells sent this along.

He says you could use it to neutralize the photoelectric cells.

Dr. Wells say how it will act?

He said he added a chemical under high pressure with the foam.

It will freeze a coating on the cells. Blind them.

(PHONE RINGS) Did he say how long it will last?

OSCAR: That's no more help than jamming the radio.

That thing can move without seeing, Steve.

You can't be sure.

This could give us one more chance to give that thing an acid bath.

Well, the one thing we learned from the last probe...

the only thing that will lift it is a helicopter...

whether we drop it into an acid pit or haul it to the moon.

We know we can jam its radio signals.

If Rudy's device happens to work...

we limit its movement with a magnetic circle.

We might be able to neutralize it long enough for the helicopter to do its job.

I noticed a heavy cargo copter hauling supplies...

to a freeway construction gang ten miles from here.

It had along chain drop cable on it.

I think I know a way we can hook the Probe.

All right, notify that crew. Tell them that we need that helicopter.

Get our men in the field to bury those coils.

Notify that tanker truck.

Tell them we want to start pouring that acid into the pit.

STEVE: Get those magnets around the net, so we can trap the Probe.

OSCAR: Okay, boys, finish it up. It's just over the hill.

We'll close the circle after it enters. Then it's up to you, pal.

You handle the generator.

(WHIRRING, THUMPING APPROACH)

Turn it up, Oscar!

All right, Sergeant, increase your field force.

(PROBE CIRCUIT CLICKING)

(LOUD BEEPING)

Chopper 2, this is Oscar Goldman speaking.

Come ahead to your designated position and hover.

I'm over the net.

(LOUD BEEPING)

(LOUD BEEPING)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(METAL CREAKING)

(LOUD BEEPING)

Get that copter down here!

Helicopter 2, lower your cable!

Okay.

(LOUD BEEPING)

All right, Chopper 2.

Lower the cable about a foot.

Roger. Here it comes.

OSCAR: That's right. Hold it right there, that's fine.

OSCAR: Steve!

Okay, Oscar!

Chopper 2! Take it up!

Roger. I'm hauling it up.

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

Chopper 2! Hold it!

Hold it! Come in!

Chopper 2! Don't wind the cable! Come in!

Sergeant! Get me another walkie-talkie! We gotta stop that chopper!

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BEEPING)

I'm releasing the net!

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

This is Chopper 2. Net released.

It's like Saturday night. That thing's taking a bath.

(CLICKING, WHIRRING, BEEPING)

(SIZZLING)

Hey, this is Chopper 2 again.

We almost had two of them down there....

but Colonel Austin is A-OK.

I don't know where he came from, but he's here in my chopper with me now.

Good job.

(PERCOLATING)

Well, you did great. You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

OSCAR: Well, there it is.

The Probe taking its last bath.

That acid's really doing the job, isn't it?

Reminds me of a prehistoric monster.

Dangerous while it's alive...

and still looking lethal while it goes through its death throes.

I just hope it's really dying. I've seen enough of that thing.

So have I.

You don't suppose Mahmoud gave copies of the plans to anyone else, do you?

The police are rounding up Mahmoud. Also his confederates.

Any plans they might have to rebuild that thing...

(WEAK WHIRRING)

(WHIRRING STOPS)

Well, I'm not really superstitious, but, um...

Superstitious?

You're superstitious?

After all these years I find out that you're superstitious?

How could you cling to such a primitive notion, Steve?

(END THEME MUSIC)