Original subtitles

-

What?

I need um, this cable.

It's an HDMI PGA, and it's an adapter, and I-

I don't have it.

Okay.

I'll, I'll just ask Doug.

Wait, I think I need one too, if...

What? You have two.

Well, I just want one.

A cable.

Okay, um...

Doug?

Is he here?

Yeah.

Hey.

Yeah, let's go get coffee.

Come on, what about Rich?

I don't care.

That was the main plug.

Will you see the glaciers?

You can drink the melting water

Really?

It is the cleanest water in the world.

That better not be what they mean by open bar.

You are so bad.

I know.

Will you post pictures?

Oh, yeah, #nofilter.

Morning, Garrett.

Morning.

Good morning.

Morning.

Morning.

See this cruise ship out here?

Out here?

Yes, I see that ship.

It's very large.

Any idea how long that's gonna be there?

No.

I know it's been there for at least the whole morning.

Yeah, it was there this morning when we got in.

You know, I've been doing this months now.

Yeah, yeah.

No, they, they come over and they,

they sort of park there for, they have an extended parking.

Well, I don't know why they have to leave the ship there

and just, you know, it'd be nice if they could just stop

and then keep going or something.

Yeah.

The people come off.

Can't see the mountains anymore.

It's true.

It is a very large ship.

It is kind of (mumbling).

Yeah, it is.

I mean, I haven't seen anyone go on.

I like boats, of course, but that there (mumbling).

Well, what I wanna know is

who's making the decision to allow this to just stay there.

I think they, they

Hey, Fran.

Sorry.

Sorry, I, I scared you.

I'm sneaking up on people.

Oogah booga.

Um, could you, for Carol's last day tomorrow, sign that?

We're tryin' to keep it a surprise, so keep quiet.

There'll be a big reveal, and yeah,

so thank you.

Oh, moved your desk a little.

That's okay.

All right.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I think congratulations is fine.

I'd rather be like the cool signer.

I know, but you're already-

Carol?

Yeah.

Hi.

Say, um...

This is what happens with me with computers.

I can't, it won't delete.

See?

Let's do (indistinct).

No, no, um, we have to follow up with the estate.

Okay, okay.

I can keep it in my desk.

I don't know if I need a battery.

You should actually have more folders.

Folders?

I'll find the folder.

Which folder is it under?

I mean, you should create a folder.

There you go.

Oh, I'll create a folder.

If anyone is deceased.

Okay, okay.

Okay?

Hey, no, no, no, no, no.

I said in the house.

Girls.

I need you to go into the house,

help me with these groceries .

Six, nine.

How ya doin', Fran?

Not bad.

Oh, Fran, I won't be needing any of this anymore.

You wanna stapler?

Or, I dunno, how 'bout a calculator

I probably bought in '87?

Still works great, though.

Is the stapler up for grabs?

Ah, all yours.

Thanks.

Mm hm.

You want this?

No.

No?

How about this three-hole punch?

Take it away.

You're welcome.

Anything else?

Uh, no, thanks.

You're gonna miss him.

I know, I know, you're right.

I'm a bitch.

Ha.

I'm going on a cruise!

All right, we know.

Ha ha ha!

How come I didn't get anything?

You didn't get anything what?

Like, you're not giving me any crap.

Wait, you're giving stuff away?

Come, yes, come over.

Whoever wants a picture of my dead dog,

you're welcome to it.

] No thanks.

M'kay.

See that?

Yeah.

Is that too big?

So good.

I don't think it's too big.

I'm just gonna eat it.

Get the rest of these champagne glasses.

I should probably cut that smaller.

I don't know.

No, I think that's a beautiful piece.

It's huge.

We can leave that one for Carol.

Okay.

Since she's the one we're actually celebrating.

We are celebrating her.

I'm gonna miss her.

Did you know she was going on a cruise?

I did overhear it.

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For she's a jolly good ♪

Okay, all right, all right.

Give her a hand, give her a hand.

Guys, this is very sweet.

The card, it's at my desk.

Wait, wait.

Isn't that whole bottle for me?

I no share.

And how about that cake?

I know, it looks really good.

Sorry about that, Carol.

Thank you, dolly.

Okay, speak amongst yourselves.

Emma, do you need help, or?

You're good?

I'm good.

Thank you.

Where'd you get this cake from?

Oh, it's very sweet.

You all are very sweet, and kind, and good.

Thank you.

You deserve it, Carol.

Yeah, we love you.

Thank you.

I love you guys.

I'm gonna miss everyone so much.

Okay, I'm not gonna cry.

I'm not going to cry.

All right, all right, all right.

I'm fine.

Okay, clinks to Carol.

There we go.

Perfect.

Now I'm about to cry.

It's over.

I think I'm gonna,

I think I'm gonna miss you all,

and I think I'm gonna miss this stupid office.

Hey!

I mean, this wonderful office.

There we go.

There we go.

Oh, I'm unexpectedly overwhelmed by all of this.

Someone tell me not to go.

- Don't go. - Stay here.

Okay.

Stay here.

You're not allowed to go.

You're not going anywhere.

Oh, thank you.

All right, now I can.

Will champagne convince you to stay at least-

I'll stay at least for the rest of the day.

Through the night.

Rich, do you need, what do you want?

Champagne or cake?

I don't know.

The trouble is, it just complete, it doesn't work at all.

It's, it, there's a power button thing.

Can you just come over?

I don't wanna sound silly, but is it plugged in?

It, yeah, that's the problem.

When I plug it in, it doesn't actually do anything.

And there's no lights on it or anything?

There is a light, but the light doesn't show,

there's a light, there's a warning sign or a signal

says "HC warning signal."

Yeah, we can just try to reboot.

Okay, well let's go take a look.

Yeah, so some friends are saying,

like, if you want to be a true environmentalist,

you have to get a used car.

And I'm like, I had to get something new with a warranty.

Yeah, cause you have to worry about the,

the life of the battery, right?

So how long are they good-

It's not gas.

Can we just focus on the fact

that I'm not gonna be using gas and oil anymore?

Okay.

Give that win.

Okay.

I just think if you, you don't wanna buy yourself a car

that's gonna only be good for a year.

Yes, that was the only time.

- Same thing. - She's like-

Right?

Then she's like-

Watching one thing.

Game for a second.

I'm serious.

Back to back to gaze here.

Let's not do the bagels yet,

but that's a treat for later.

And uh-

Sorry.

Oh, not a worry.

Perfect timing.

We have one of those for everyone, or no?

Did you print enough?

Yes, yes.

Okay, of course.

All right, everyone good?

Put the phones away.

Um, so let's get started.

First things first,

I would love to introduce you all to,

is everyone settled?

I'd love to introduce you all to the newest member

of our little team, our little family.

This is Robert.

Hello.

He's in a green sweater; he doesn't care who knows it.

Don't care.

He comes from McDougal and Charter.

All the way from Seattle.

He's a really awesome guy.

We really clicked right away.

And he'll be taking over for Carol's position.

And we are so excited to have you.

So thank you, Robert, for being here with us today.

Well, thank you for having me.

Thank you for having us to have you.

Thank you for having us have you.

Yes.

There we go.

Now I do have to warn you that we do have a lot of fun here.

We do things with a little more pizzazz,

and let's just all right now go around the room

and introduce ourselves,

and maybe we can mention our favorite food.

I'm Isobel and I enjoy a ribeye.

A ribeye steak.

Ooh.

Nice.

Yeah.

Uh, I'm Doug.

Hello.

I like chowder.

Nice.

Mmm, I forget about chowder.

Chowder.

In a bread bowl.

Those bread bowls are so good.

Yeah, I like the bread bowl.

Hi, I'm Garrett.

Hello.

Hi.

Spaghetti.

And meatballs!

No, Isobel, I'm still vegetarian.

Okay.

Hi, I'm Emma.

And I guess I'd have to say my favorite food

is martinis!

She did not.

Didn't hear that.

I know it's not technically a food,

but I like to get it with the green olives

with the blue cheese on the inside.

It counts, it counts.

It does count.

I'm Fran.

I like cottage cheese.

I forget about that, cottage cheese.

Sean, nice to meet you.

I like a cobb salad with extra bacon.

Yum, bacon.

Rich.

Fish.

Which you catch yourself.

Oh my God.

I, I don't fish.

I saw a picture of you with a fish.

Somebody fishes here.

It's a lie.

Don't fish.

I just, I thought it (mumbling).

It's okay.

Oh, oh, I'm Sophie the intern.

As you all know.

And I really love Thai food.

Mmm.

Hello, I'm Robert, and I also love Thai food.

Oh.

Something in common between you two.

Great, now I'm starving.

Where's those bagels?

No, we can't dip in yet.

Robert, did you have anything else to say?

Hello again.

I guess in addition to Thai food,

I love going to the movies.

Mmm.

Yeah, yeah, big movies and uncomfortable silences.

Like that.

Robert!

Um, let's get started.

Let's look at the agenda for the today.

Enough fun.

Time to put on my work hat.

- Steve. - Okay.

Hello.

Who's on line two?

I don't have anybody.

Emma, what is this?

That pulls staples.

Staple puller.

I think I knew that.

Or I was just joking.

I was probably just joking.

You're funny.

Yeah, I know.

Funny.

It'd be weird if I didn't know what that was.

Yeah, did you find everything you need?

Not yet.

Wow, (mumbling).

Score.

On the side angle, too, which is tough.

Stronger like this.

It was that way.

I'll see you.

I'll stop by.

Please.

Oh hey, pad Thai buddy.

Hey, where can I find a mug?

Upper left.

You can choose whichever one you like.

Thanks.

Oh yeah, I can never tell if I'm in a sweet mood

or a savory mood.

Peanut butter crackers; a little bit of both.

Smart.

Take one of these.

So did you go to school in Seattle?

No, in Montreal actually.

McGill.

Cool, cool.

So from Canada, to Seattle, to our little town.

It's kinda weird moves.

Guess they are.

Yeah.

Well, if you ever need to be shown around,

it takes about 10 minutes, so.

Okay.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, you got it.

Hey.

Hi.

Fran, right?

Yeah.

There was something else.

Wasn't like some simple part of something.

When was the last time you saw a podiatrist?

I've never seen a podiatrist.

My feet are perfect.

This is like the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Your feet are perfect, Emma, but-

Come on, okay.

What's up man?

Hey.

I don't know.

Are you good with the kids?

I'm sorry.

You know what, I can ask.

Fair enough.

Have a good one.

Hey, Robert.

You don't have any band-aids, do you?

Not in my pocket.

Okay, fair enough.

Hi, Rich.

I usually carry them in my purse.

Oh, it's his voicemail.

- Hey. - Hi.

I was wondering if um, it's really hot in my office.

Is it?

Yeah.

And I was wondering if you were using this fan?

Well, yeah, Doug.

It's my fan.

I know...

Do you wanna borrow it?

Yeah, I would love to borrow it.

I mean, honestly,

I don't know what's going on with the heat in there.

I can't really open my window.

So...

Go ahead.

Really?

Yes, Doug.

Thanks, Garrett.

You're welcome.

I just need it back like in an hour or two.

Really?

No.

I appreciate it.

I've never used that fan.

Are you able to-

Do you need help?

No, can you just move?

I just-

Oh, I can move.

I'm sorry.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm good.

I'm good.

Thank you.

No problem.

I don't know, it might need a battery.

Somewhere.

There you go.

Thank you.

Sure.

Hey, I don't know

if there's something I'm doing wrong, but it's,

I plugged it in, and I couldn't get it to work.

I don't know if it works, Doug.

I was just telling Sean, I'm serious,

oh, you know what?

You don't know if it works?

I don't know 'cause I haven't really used it.

You haven't ever used it?

Or when's the last time you used it and it worked?

You know, Sean has a fan.

Yeah, I've never used it either.

Well, do you mind if I give it a try?

Yeah, but I don't think it's gonna work.

Well, I'll tell you what, can I give you this back?

Sure.

Okay.

You want it?

Why don't I take that fan, and then you...

You mind if he gets the fan?

Not at all.

This one doesn't work.

I mean, unless my outlets aren't working,

but I don't think that's the case 'cause other things

are working when I plug them in.

It's this-

It's not even plugged.

Where is your fan?

This one?

Right there.

- This? - Yeah, that's the fan.

Can I just take this one for now,

and you can try that one?

Why don't you take both of them?

Here.

Feels good.

Thank you.

Anytime.

Kisses; later.

My dog is trying to kill me.

That's fine.

I know it's not good, but he is a little guy.

I just adopted him and you know, dogs have accidents, right?

I'm talking about an accident.

Like, he peed on the carpet, floor on occasion,

but he does it every time in front of the bathroom.

So you know, midnight, 2:00 a.m.,

you walk around your house, I mean, like if you had a pet.

Are you like walking around your house being like,

"Oh, I wonder if my dog peed here so I can slip on it

"before I go take a piss myself."

No coffee?

No, I already had one.

- Okay. - All right.

Just too much pee in every, oh, morning Fran.

Not to mention the pee, he's pooping like crazy, too.

I mean, I've been giving him broccoli, a little yogurt.

I shouldn't have given him the yogurt, but blueberries, too.

'Cause you know, dogs can have fruits and vegetables,

but now his poop is blue.

So I'm getting blue poop in the,

I'm sorry, sorry.

Too much poop talk on a Thursday.

I'll see you inside.

Oh, not at all.

Blue poops; pretty wild.

What do you call a sad coffee?

I don't know.

What do you call a sad coffee?

A depresso.

You're funny.

Are you done with that order form yet?

Um, no, not yet.

Do you need it today?

Oh, no, no.

It's fine if you can't.

It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

That was a terrible Matthew McConaughey impression.

Wooderson?

"Dazed and Confused?"

A movie?

A very good movie.

I can't believe you haven't seen that.

Have you been to the Columbia yet?

I'm actually gonna see something there tonight.

Oh.

Do you want to come.

Bobby Boy.

Sorry I'm late.

I'm ready when you are.

Okay, great.

Be there in a sec.

Yes.

Huh?

Sorry, the movie tonight.

Oh, okay, great.

Movie at 7:00?

That all right?

Seven.

I should, it's too early to get fired.

You made it.

Am I late?

Oh no, we're both early.

I'll just get my ticket.

Oh no, I...

Oh.

Is that all right?

I went ahead.

I-I'll give you cash.

Oh no, it's my treat.

Come on.

I'm gonna get a Coke.

You want anything?

No, thank you.

You're welcome.

Hi.

How's it going, man?

Um, large Coke.

And a medium popcorn with butter.

Have a nice night.

Ready?

I'm excited to see this.

It's supposed to be amazing.

Hey.

I should-

Are you hungry?

What?

Would you like to get some food?

There you go.

The other place has pancakes.

This one probably does better.

Robert, you're back.

Sit wherever.

I'll be over in a jiff.

Okay.

Is there okay?

Sure.

♪ So raise your hands to heaven and pray ♪

♪ That we'll be back together someday ♪

This place is great.

They have pie.

♪ Tonight I need your sweet caress ♪

So did you like the movie?

No.

Um, what didn't you like about it?

I didn't really like anything about that movie.

Nothing?

Oh.

Thank you for not walking out.

Hey, hey. another movie?

Yep.

This one any good?

You know, it depends who you ask.

I loved it.

But Fran, this is Fran.

Hi.

Hey, I'm Amelia.

She hated it.

Oof.

No, it's fine.

It's only my new favorite movie.

Well, better luck next time.

I guess so.

All right, I'll give you a minute.

Actually, what's the pie for tonight?

Oh, marionberry served hot with fresh whip.

Do you wanna share?

And an Irish coffee, please.

Make that two.

All right, you got it.

Coming right up.

♪ Tonight I need your sweet caress ♪

♪ Hold me in the darkness ♪

♪ Tonight you calm my restlessness ♪

♪ You relieve my sadness ♪

Good song.

♪ Tonight I need your sweet caress ♪

You don't like it?

♪ Hold me in the darkness ♪

What do you like?

My job.

What about it?

I'm good at it.

What exactly are you good at?

Spreadsheets, mostly.

What else do you do?

Mailings and gifts.

Ah.

Do you only like things that you're good at?

Why do you like movies so much?

Because I love them.

Why?

You get to watch, you know,

you get to look for something,

and then try to understand it.

And you like that?

Very much.

Do you always find something?

If it's any good,

and sometimes when it's bad you can throw popcorn at it-

All right, y'all.

Slice of marionberry and two Drunk Joes.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Do we cheers?

Saving mine for after.

It on my face?

What if I'd just kept it there the whole time

we're eating pie?

It would be uncomfortable to watch.

Fair enough.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I wouldn't have been uncomfortable,

just to give you a heads up.

I'm sure.

♪ Someday hey ♪

♪ Tonight I need your sweet caress ♪

♪ Hold me ♪

Don't you walk?

Yeah, I walk head down, like kind of like,

kind of like this.

That's how I walk.

I guess who walks like-

Have a good night guys.

Thank you.

We didn't agree on the movie, but we did agree on the pie.

Well, food's the important thing.

Oh, speaking of, I host a little get-together on Saturdays.

There's food, good people, good times.

You two should come.

Let's do it.

Great.

I live behind the purple house on Stewart,

right on the river.

You know it?

- Uh, no. - I know it.

Super.

See you then.

Beautiful.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

I don't have a lot of stuff in my place.

I still gotta get furniture.

I wanna get an armchair.

But I sometimes think of like if the armchair

was actually shaped like an arm,

like it would be more comfortable.

Like if I just dropped my arm on there and shaped.

Like how?

It's like this, you put it, it's like your arm.

I'm putting my arm into an arm.

It's kind of like meta, you know what I mean?

I don't like when, you know, people have like raincoats.

I like raincoats.

Don't, don't.

But I mean, there's people that don't bring an umbrella,

and it's raining, and they just tell you,

they're like, "I just, I just have a raincoat.

"I don't need the umbrella."

I'm like, this person's insane.

They must have like killed somebody

and put 'em in a basement.

So you're gonna walk around, no umbrella,

let rain hit you and act like the rain's not there?

That's nuts.

You for sure are like, you have a van,

and you're doing weird stuff.

I wouldn't tell them to their face, but isn't that weird?

Sorry, I ramble too much when I get nervous.

I don't use an umbrella.

This is me.

It's nice and big.

Oh, it's just this one.

Good night.

See you in the morning.

Hey, Emma.

Want help with that?

Shh-yeah.

Who does this go down to?

Doug.

Hi, are you doing anything for lunch?

Yeah, Garrett and I, we're gonna get some Italian.

Okay,

He's craving meatballs.

Nice.

Right.

Yeah, what you doing?

Hey.

Sorry, did I surprise you?

Yeah, no, sorry.

Did you need something?

Um, yeah, I just wanted to give you this.

I finally filled it out.

Okay, thanks.

You're welcome.

This looks fine.

Okay, great.

Okay.

I needed a soda.

See this kid saved this kid, pull him out.

He realizes when he spits the water out once,

he goes "Father.", because I was his dad.

His first word.

Yeah, he goes, "Father."

He hasn't spoken this whole time.

This is his-

First word.

Bird was his father.

I'm glad Emma knows the story, too.

She knows the story.

So I go, "You're my son."

He goes, "I've been your son, not you're my son.

"I've been living a life without you.

"We need to find Mom.

"She's been taken to the Middle East, captured."

Oh yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't-

It's totally fine.

I wouldn't put you in that position.

Does it smell?

No, it's just a, it, Rob, it's-

Yeah, it's not good.

Okay, then no.

What's the-

They smell like apples; they don't smell bad.

Yeah, it's the sugar in them.

If you put lemon on them, they wouldn't turn.

No, I don't trust them.

Hey, they deal with you.

You need to go to-

Yes.

You need to go to the health,

you need to go to Whole Foods.

That's perfect.

Whole Foods, gym, supplements.

- Yeah. - Supplements.

Yes.

Maybe a GNC.

- Yes. - Yep.

Work out.

Yes, see?

I think they must have.

Sophie] Did they?

Maybe.

Good night.

Hey, have a good night.

Oh, you too.

Thank you.

Drive safe.

Hey.

Have a good weekend.

You too.

Sorry, sorry.

Do you have plans tonight?

Hey, welcome.

Come on in.

Want me to grab your jacket?

Thanks.

Oh, you're welcome.

I like your sweater.

I like your pants.

Ah, I just ironed them.

Malbec.

She likes Malbec.

I'll get us some glasses.

Here you go.

Thanks.

I'm just gonna start cooking.

You really do like movies, huh?

You think I can boil pasta in this?

I guess we're gonna find out.

I don't really get a chance to go to the grocery store,

but I have this sauce from before, and yeah, it looks great.

But yeah, I don't know how it's gonna taste.

You wanna throw on a CD?

Which one?

Uh, you pick.

Not what I expected.

I know you haven't seen that movie.

What movie?

Exactly.

Yeah, I know it's old.

Yeah, it's a classic.

I think you can put like four CDs in there.

Two, I think.

Two?

Oh, are they at the back?

There.

What's your version of my movie obsession?

Uh, I cook sometimes.

What do you like to cook?

Different things.

♪ Sometimes a wind blows ♪

Okay, uh, you want a tour?

Sure.

Ah, living room.

♪ And you and I float in love ♪

Oh.

Pretty spacious, I feel.

Patio.

Thought maybe I'd put a grill out there one day.

And then here, you know, I'll put these up eventually.

This the kitchen, which you've already been in.

Laundry, and bathroom upstairs.

♪ And kiss forever ♪

We're getting our steps in.

I think there's like nine steps.

Nine?

Or maybe more.

I didn't count properly.

Bathroom's at the end of the hallway.

♪ And the mysteries of love ♪

Dresser.

Night stand.

Bed.

It's nice.

Thank you.

Well, that's my home.

It's nice.

You said that already.

♪ In light ♪

Sorry.

Ah no, it's not...

That was, it was good.

Great.

Great, yeah.

Shit, the water.

Sor-sorry.

I don't want the house to burn, no?

I mean, I think some things

just don't grow back together.

What time is it?

I don't know.

I nodded off.

Mm hm.

Sorry I nodded off.

I don't mind.

How'd you like the rest of the movie?

It was good.

You hated it.

I didn't hate this one.

I wonder if there's a movie you would love.

Hmm.

Maybe a movie about cooking.

Tell me something about you.

Like what?

I don't know.

What's it like where you grew up?

Crowded.

Loud.

So loud it was hard to hear yourself sometimes.

But beautiful.

Do you like the quiet?

I do.

Is that why you moved here?

In part.

Why else?

So many questions.

Got divorced.

Oh.

It was short.

You've been married?

Yes.

I-I-I didn't know that.

Yeah, twice actually.

Oh.

First, you know, when I was young,

and that was for a very long time.

But more recently, you know,

it just felt better to move than to stay there.

I guess I can't seem to figure it out.

Figure what out?

Marriage, love, partnership.

What about you?

What about me?

Have you ever been in love?

Why?

I'm just curious.

No.

- Never? - No.

Wow, really?

I find that-

It's not that interesting.

But what do you mean, like love, or-

It's not, I, I'm not.

Okay.

It's getting late.

Yeah.

See you Monday.

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪

Hey, yes, you made it.

Well, come in, come in.

Oh, sorry.

I brought this for you.

It's white.

That is so sweet.

Oh, this is my girl Tellulah.

Tellulah, this is Fran.

- Hey. - Hey.

This fella I believe you already know.

I like your pants.

Thank you.

Hey, let's crack this open.

Okay, there's barely any left.

Robert, what the what?

And Fran!

Do you all know each other?

- Yes- - We all-

The work picnic.

I'm sorry, this is crazy.

How do you know Amelia?

Oh, they came in for pie after their movie

the other night.

Pie.

Yeah, and I insisted that they join us.

Oh, this is like a coincidence?

We just-

Ran into each other after work.

The night of the storm.

Yeah, the storm, and then you had pie.

Yeah, it's good.

You know that chess pie.

This is crazy; I work with them.

Hey, hey!

Hey, hi!

All right, okay, everyone's here.

Okay, this is Robert.

Okay, this is Bennie.

This is Pauline, Andrew, this is Yo.

Garrett.

Garrett.

You know Garrett.

Okay, now we're all here.

So let's play.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Let's go, let's go.

It's time to play.

Welcome, welcome, my family.

It is I, Handsome Aaron.

It warms my heart to see your beautiful faces

back here at the estate,

gathered in the great Beaumont Hall.

But alas, sisters, brothers, others.

I have some terrible news.

I, Handsome Aaron, have been unexpectedly,

unjustly, rudely, murdered.

- Oh no! - No!

Yes, yes.

Although I look fleshy and meaty,

I am but a mere ghost stuck in the in-between

on a quest to save the family and our fortune

from falling into the wrong murderous hands.

Yes, cousins, my murderer is after our fortune,

and is here amongst us in the great hall,

masquerading as a Beaumont.

No!

Go, go, go!

Night has befallen us, my family,

so retire to your rooms now.

Rest your sweet little heads on your soft satin pillows.

Close your sweet little angel eyes.

Bam!

Oh, shit.

Yo, you died too young.

Much too young.

Yo, my dear.

Could you tell us how this happened?

It was terrible.

A garden hose hanging!

Come on, don't die twice.

Horrible.

Now, who among you could have done this?

Was it you?

No.

Maybe you?

Amelia.

No, come on.

What was that, Robert?

Nothing.

Ooh, I propose Robert is the murderer.

Oh, I don't know.

A little fast to j'accuse there, Andrew.

We have to act fast.

There's a fox in the henhouse.

Him?

I'm no fox.

That's exactly what a fox would say.

No, I wouldn't murder anyone.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't kill you.

Thanks.

I'm a very nice guy.

And I almost adopted an orphan once.

And besides, I was in the closet the whole time, right?

Well, you were in the closet at the start,

but when I closed my eyes, I did hear the floorboard squeak.

What the what?

Robert, our new newest Beaumont, you have been accused.

Do we hear any others?

I accuse Andrew.

I'm gonna second that motion.

He was questionably alone.

All right, we have two accused, Robert and Andrew.

Now we vote.

Okay.

In 3, 2, 1.

Boom.

Sorry.

Oh, wow.

He must remove in preparation.

The moment before.

Chainsaw?

That's what I thought.

Chainsaw, oh, but it's ready, oh, but it's...

Two words.

It's a cap.

It's a cap, two words.

Oh, no!

Oh, I can't watch.

I can't watch.

Oh, I see what you're doing.

Tied to the stake

Oh, God!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, my God, rigor mortis.

- Oh! - He's gone.

How was that?

Nice, nice, nice.

Truly spectacular.

I thought he was starting a car.

Oh, no!

Oh, goddamn it!

Thanks for almost throwing me under the bus back there.

I was just being honest.

You're good at this.

The murderer is about to silence their kill.

Uh oh.

Fran.

Fran's dead and I didn't do it.

Dearest Fran, the other newest member

of the Beaumont family has been found dead

in the guest bathroom.

Tell us, Fran, how did this abomination happen?

Um, it was acid in my stomach.

Hmm.

Acid in the stomach.

That old chestnut, huh?

It was put in my glass of water before bed,

coursed down my throat and singed my stomach lining.

It felt nice.

Like hand sanitizer scrubbing my insides.

All right.

What an exceptionally creative killer we have this evening.

This guy's lost her little claws.

Thank you.

This is so good.

Oh, this is beautiful.

And I will hold one for the very sneaky murderer.

Seriously, Garrett, that was inspired.

Yeah, maybe a little too inspired.

That was all part of the plan, my pretty.

Right, so I can't get that low.

Saudi people, though.

All right, shall we?

Whoa, look at that go.

There we go. - Yes, yes, yeah.

Perfect.

You know I have everyone convinced at work

that I'm a vegetarian.

Yeah, I don't know why-

They're gonna sell you out.

You know how when you say one thing, and everything,

and what-

Put your thumb in and then pull up.

Look at this guy right here.

You're my little.

Yes, yes, yes.

Robert, I'm so sorry.

Is that your, is this your first time cracking crab?

Is it?

It's been a while.

You're not from here.

Nope.

Well, it's violent.

I like it.

It's definitely very violent.

What about you, Fran?

Are you from away?

I grew up around here.

Really?

I had no idea.

Whereabouts?

The quiet side.

Wow.

Oh, did you see that?

Is the quiet side very quiet?

Very.

Must've been kinda lonely out there, Fran.

It was great, actually.

You can just do this.

- Better prepare. - Yeah.

- Claw? - Mm hm.

We're getting better and better, right?

Then you smash the shit out of it.

No, no, come on.

That's a rookie mistake.

Don't do it.

No, you're just gonna give it a little wack.

Yeah, don't crush it.

I was gonna be gentle.

Just a little hello.

So I can't really, I mean, I can't get a hook over.

Yeah, it's all in the wrist.

You don't wanna waste any, so just...

Just?

Gentle.

You're secretly good at a lot of things.

But you are, you just don't let anyone know.

Like, "The acid coursed down my throat.

"It singed my insides."

What the hell is, where did that come from?

I was just playing the game.

Come on, that was amazing.

I had no idea it's in you-

It's not that interesting.

Oh, like how movies aren't that interesting?

Wow, your love life's not that interesting?

Okay, so?

What?

Just curious about you.

What do you want from me?

I don't know.

Do you have a family?

Yes.

Okay, and?

There's not much else to know.

Why is this so hard with you?

You're prying.

No, I'm asking questions, Fran, because I like you.

I want to get to know you, but you just won't let me.

And I don't know what to do.

It's confusing.

Like, do you even wanna be here?

Do you even want to do this?

Do you even like me?

Like, tell me what you want me to do, then.

'Cause obviously this isn't, this isn't working.

Me asking you things.

You're exhausting.

No wonder you can't stay married.

Please go.

Fran?

Carol.

Well, what a small world.

Small town, more like.

You have a morning sweet tooth, too?

I was thinking about getting some for the office.

Glazed is a good place to start.

Everyone likes glazed.

Thanks.

Nice of you to do that.

I miss everyone.

How, how are they?

The same.

Aren't you supposed to be on a cruise right now?

Uh, well,

Ted had a stroke.

I had no idea-

Well, I didn't say anything, so.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

Is he,

will he?

I don't know.

You know, we planned, and saved, and waited,

and everything you're supposed to do, you know,

before you go live it up and savor things.

And we waited together for that.

And now, gosh,

imagine him in the garden, just some lazy Sunday,

that was all of those little,

those were the precious things,

and I, I just hope...

But you know, every day I get up,

and I see the day out there,

and I get my coffee, and I sit here and I think,

"All right, you know, all right.

"This is what I have right now."

And no matter how much better,

whatever I imagine in my head,

it's, it's not as real as what I do have.

So it's hard, isn't it?

Being a person.

Mm hm, I appreciate it.

Yeah, so I've got you on the 24th, 2:00 p.m.

Yeah, pier three north.

Great.

Yeah, you're gonna be in slips four and seven.

Okay.

Yeah, thank you, Steve.

Appreciate it.

Are those donuts?

Oh my gosh.

Fran.

Oh my God, Fran.

That is so sweet.

So something.

I'm gonna get a knife.

Oh, you know what?

I'll grab plates, and napkins, and all that jazz.

Hello, hello, hello.

Fran brought donuts.

Wow.

Happy Monday to you.

Whoa, those look pretty good.

What's going on-

Rich, don't eat them all, please.

Fran brought donuts.

I'm waiting for the plates and the napkins.

Oh, Sophie's getting them.

She's getting them.

Sure, sure.

I could use a napkin, though.

Wow.

It was really fun the other night.

Yeah, it was.

Yeah.

You know, I've never seen anyone play that game

quite like you.

Oh, and everyone said you have to come back next time.

- Okay. - Good.

I'm gonna leave this.

This is better.

Well, you know folks,

I heard that we were supposed to get a new coffee machine,

but Isobel axed it from the budget.

Is that true?

Yeah, it's true.

Well, bless her little, uh oh, here she comes.

Here she comes.

Do you want some?

Uh oh, what's going on?

What do we have here?

I'm cutting.

Sweet treats.

Let me have, let me have, no, I'm kidding.

That's really nice, Garrett.

Oh, Isobel, thank you.

But actually it was Fran.

- She is. - She is?

Yeah, she's got a concert coming up this weekend.

Oh, and I have that meeting later

if you wanna get the report on my desk.

Yeah?

Totally.

Virtuoso, is that what they call them?

Guys, try not to crash today.

Try not to crash like last week.

Okay.

I was totally useless.

Donuts win over cake.

This one's great.

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah.

I dunno, a good German chocolate cake.

Okay, Doug.

Or a carrot cake.

Underrated.

Yeah, I just finished.

- Absolutely. - It was delicious.

The whole thing.

My cousin had donuts at her wedding

instead of cake.

Everyone's eating carrot cake.

Why are you holding the plate?

Plate down, plate down.

Hey, Robert?

If you'd like to follow me to the copy room,

I have the supplies you ordered.

Hey.

How was the rest of your weekend?

It was all right.

I watched a couple movies.

Unpacked a box.

You?

Just lied around.

I'm sorry for what I said.

I shouldn't have said that.

It wasn't my place to say that.

Thank you.

You know, I shouldn't have, I could tell I upset you, so.

Okay.

You know, the more I thought about that movie we saw,

the more I think I liked it.

Yeah?

I haven't really thought about it much.

Do you wish you could unknow me?

I don't know you.

There's a crane I can see from my cubicle,

and sometimes I think about hanging from it.

Not cause I want to, but because I wonder how it could feel.

It's just something I think about from time to time.

♪ Aaah ah ah ♪

♪ Aaah ah ah ♪

♪ Aaah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪

♪ With a smile and a song ♪

♪ Life is just like a bright sunny day ♪

♪ Your cares fade away ♪

♪ And your heart is young ♪

♪ With a smile and a song ♪

♪ All the world seems to waken anew ♪

♪ Rejoicing with you ♪

♪ As the song is sung ♪

♪ There's no use in grumbling ♪

♪ When raindrops come tumbling ♪

♪ Remember, you're the one ♪

♪ Who can fill the world with sunshine ♪

♪ When you smile and you sing ♪

♪ Everything is in tune and it's spring ♪

♪ And life flows along ♪

♪ With a smile and a song ♪

I really feel quite happy now.

I'm sure I'll get along somehow.

Everything is going to be all right.