Original subtitles

[electricity buzzing]

[alarm beeping]

[Noa Kirel's "Bad Little Thing"]

- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ Okay ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Don't buy me no ring ♪

♪ See, I got my own ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ All the finer things, dripping head to toe ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ They wanna be me or wanna be mine ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ But I just brush 'em off 'cause I ain't got the time ♪

♪ I'll let you hold me ♪

♪ You don't control me ♪

♪ You want it bad, bad, bad, want it that bad, bad, bad ♪

♪ Keeping you waiting, special occasion ♪

Are you mad, mad, mad, mad, are you mad? ♪

♪ You must not know who you're dealing with ♪

♪ All the boys' necks break when they look at me ♪

♪ 'Cause my shape too bomb, call it TNT ♪

♪ Yeah, I got it from my mama, thank G-O-D ♪

♪ I'm a bad little thing, and I ain't sorry ♪

♪ ♪

- You like my--oh.

Like my stuff?

It's all bullshit.

I don't care about them,

but these are the gods of my people,

so either I worship them, or I'm an outcast.

These pictures, like the ones on my social media,

are there for one reason, so people will envy me.

Girls want to be my friend, and guys just want me.

I'm having so much fun, right?

This might be the only real thing in here,

"The Handmaid's Tale,"

a story about a woman named Offred,

trapped in an oppressive, male-dominated society

where she doesn't have control of her fate.

Unlike Offred, I do have control of my fate.

I'm getting out.

- ♪ Thank G-O-D ♪

♪ I'm a bad little thing, and I ain't sorry ♪

- My home, it's fine, but when I finally leave it,

it'll be for good.

- Breakfast to go.

Banana bread, just like you like it.

- Thanks, Mom.

This is Janet, my mother, who thinks bread is love.

[timer dings]

- Mmm.

- Good morning, Dad.

- If you say so.

- My father, Marvin, holding down at least three jobs,

a white whale whose white whale is a wooden monstrosity.

Deck looks great, Dad. - Closing in.

It's gonna be done soon. - No, it's not.

It's a fantasy of his that he'll finish

and get what little downtime he has relaxing on it.

That day will never come.

- Marvin, you're gonna be late for work!

- I know.

- Did you hear me? - I heard.

I know. - Oh, you heard.

- These two people screwed once and made me.

Ew.

I'm a senior.

I worked all my life to get here.

Everything is in place.

I just need to get through this year,

and then I'll get my golden ticket to the Wonka Factory.

Like Offred in "The Handmaid's Tale,"

I've never revealed who I really am.

To survive--

all: Hello.

- I hide within myself.

- Tommy Daney texted me last night.

Can I get an Amen? both: Amen.

- Did you text him back? - Of course not.

He's in high school, and I save my hand jibbers

for real men.

- Well, I wouldn't mind a piece of that.

Do you care if I text him a pic?

- Talia and Emma,

the most popular girls in school.

- No. [laughs]

- They've got all the tea, kept me from being associated

with the less thans, and in this hellhole,

they're all I have to work with.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

- Hey, ladies.

Thank you for your help. - Sure.

- Here is a flyer for my show. - Did not ask.

- A flyer is like a tweet that ruins the environment.

- Oh.

- I'm gonna tweet that.

- We have got to go and see Mr. Calvin sing, right ladies?

- Sure.

- Promises, promises.

And, Honor, I will see you later in my office

for some big news.

- Did Mr. Calvin just wink at you?

- Yes, gross.

But big news, bodes well. Fingers crossed.

- All the way crossed. Selfie.

- Mr. Calvin is my guidance counselor

and the key to the whole thing, but let me lose these two

and give you a little background.

See you guys later.

- Love you. - Mean it.

- They do not mean it.

[soft music]

For me, high school is about one thing,

getting out of high school.

Delete this first paragraph. You don't need it.

The student newspaper was cut from the school budget

like a million years ago, so last year I volunteered

to put a new one online.

Editor-in-chief of the school newspaper

is a good thing to have on my record.

I'm also captain of the volleyball team.

It's not a big sport at this school,

but I'm not a born athlete,

and so I'm lucky it's a lousy team.

Travis Biggins.

In a different reality, he'd be my boyfriend.

[chuckles]

[slow music]

If I wanted him, I could have him,

but no time for love.

[upbeat music]

On top of volleyball and the paper,

I started a food bank for the economically disadvantaged.

I also started a school karate club--hi-ya!

While never letting my grades suffer.

Ms. Felson, I think there's been a mistake.

- I don't think so, Honor.

Oh, you're right. That's not yours.

I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.

[bell rings]

- And she's one of the better teachers.

Now, you're thinking, "She'll get into college no problem.

This girl's got nothing to worry about."

[chuckles]

Let me show you why you know nothing.

Ms. Felson, we're not far from here,

went to college-- Smith, I believe--

graduated sometime in the last century.

♪ ♪

Took on all the causes at the buffet,

from boycotting lettuce to women's rights.

She was going to change the world.

♪ ♪

Came back here to watch her future die.

[music slows]

- Go.

- Coach Biggins.

- You know what, you guys are so slow.

I was gonna call this team the Old Ladies,

but the old ladies be like, "Hell, no, we ain't that slow."

- Also a native, went to Syracuse University

on a lacrosse scholarship.

- You gotta whip it like this.

- [vocalizing]

- For one man.

- [vocalizing]

- Wow.

I can't believe that's even the same guy.

- Dah!

What you waiting for, a blowjob?

Get going!

- Now look at him. Lives through his son, Travis.

- Go.

- So, class, what have we learned?

It's not just about going to college,

it's making sure I don't have to come back after college.

All my examples went to good schools,

so it has nothing to do with getting a good education.

It's about prestige, contacts,

the place that's going to open the most doors,

where mediocre people get outsized opportunities,

and where the genius who wrote this book

fulfilled her potential, where I'm gonna go.

It's been a four-year plan,

and it's coming to a close today.

[phone ringing]

[soft guitar music]

♪ ♪

- I think the second draft is terrific, Honor.

It is--wow, it is so good.

- It's all thanks--

- ♪ D, I'm a-tuning the D string ♪

♪ D, D, D, D, D ♪

- It's all thanks to you, Mr. Calvin.

I mean, without you, I wouldn't have even known

how important my college essay was

to getting into a good school.

- No, stop it.

You know, Honor, if I had to use a metaphor,

I would say that it's like I taught the music class,

but you played the song.

- I love a good metaphor.

- Well, that is just another thing we have in common,

and soon enough, we're gonna be finishing

each other's metaphors.

- [chuckles]

- Now, let's take a look at your college list again.

- I know.

Why am I kissing up to this guy?

There's a clue.

This is the place I have to go,

Harvard.

The school's brand is success.

Earned success, unearned success,

it doesn't matter.

That's my one-way ticket out of this hellhole.

And a guarantee to not end up like--

well, like this guy.

- Okay, so I'm looking at your list here,

and it seems like you left one off.

Are you not interested in Harvard?

- Oh, I would love to go there,

but I didn't think I had a chance of getting in.

- You're not wrong.

The acceptance rate is about 5%.

- 4.6%. - 4.6%, yes.

But I got a surprise for you, Honor.

Not many people know this, but I have a connection there.

- Really?

- This gentleman right here, Howie Kaplan,

my best friend from high school,

is a very successful Harvard alumni.

Hedge fund guy.

- Oh, wow, I had no idea.

I knew this in ninth grade.

- We remained very close even though we didn't go

to the same college.

We even started our own a cappella group,

You've Got Scale.

AOL was big back then.

- What's AOL?

- Oh, my God.

Well, I could spin ya some stories, Honor.

Whew.

- I would love to hear them.

- Well, one time, we went to Saint Louis

for an a cappella competition,

and Howie stole a phone out of the hotel lobby.

- No way.

Wild times, Mr. Calvin.

- We were a crazy bunch back then.

He did give the phone back, but that doesn't matter.

But because Howie and I are so close,

he likes to use his influence to get

my best and brightest student a good look

with the admissions people.

It's not a guarantee, but it is a leg up.

- As tenuous as it is, this is my best bet.

- That's why I got some big news for you, Honor.

- My goodness, you don't mean--

- Oh, yes I do.

- For a quarter of my life,

I've been working my ass off for this moment.

- You are in my top four choices.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Wait, did you say top four?

- Yeah.

Are you okay?

- Yes.

Yes.

I'm just overwhelmed.

I mean, to think I'm in the top four,

it's too much to hope for.

- ♪ G, G ♪

♪ I'm tuning my G string ♪

- I've made a serious miscalculation.

This creep thinks he's in love with me.

I thought I was using that to my advantage,

but fawning over him wasn't enough.

He wants me to offer him another incentive.

I'm so thrilled, Mr. Calvin.

Thank you so much for considering me.

- Oh, wait. Where are you going?

Don't you want to see who you're up against?

- Oh, my God, no, no, no.

I don't want to get caught up in some kind of competition

with my friends, especially since...

I know you'll pick the right person.

See ya.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

I won't lie.

That was a setback, but I didn't want him

to tell me who the competition was for two reasons.

One, I don't need him to.

In this school of underachieving losers,

there's only three people it could be.

And two, when I leave them on the side of the road,

I don't want him to suspect I had anything to do with it.

I've worked too hard and too long.

It's just another obstacle to overcome.

Life gives other people lemons, they make lemonade.

Life gives me lemons, I sell them for a dollar

to some chump who doesn't know I got them for free.

- Well, I cannot believe he's not

just giving it to you, Honor.

- Posting sad face.

- I don't have time for self-pity.

- Yeah, Emma, no time for self-pity.

- This semester's grades are the last ones

to affect our grade point for colleges,

so I've got to get them to tank all of their classes

between now and midterms.

- I thought you had the highest grade point in our class.

- No, no, I'm either third or fourth.

- Mm, yeah, that was my thinking too, third or fourth.

- Well, we know who one of the top two is.

[slow music]

♪ ♪

- [sighs] He's perfect.

Loser, I mean.

Perfect loser.

- She's right. Travis is perfect.

Captain of the lacrosse team, beautiful girlfriend,

and maintains a perfect grade point.

He clearly doesn't get distracted easily.

Talia, how long have Christine and Travis been together?

- Since sophomore year.

I remember because-- - I trust you.

See if you can find out what they're doing.

Maybe he's not getting what he wants.

- But who do we ask?

- Christine.

If something's going on,

she's the type to brag about it.

And if nothing's going on,

she's the type to brag about that.

- What about the other two?

She has to be one, right?

- Kennedy Park.

The girl is in her own world, wears costumes to school.

Today she's dressed as Marie Curie,

the scientist who discovered radium.

I only know that because she posts

about it on Facebook.

What kid uses Facebook anymore?

Look, she's got two likes on the photo.

One's her mother, and one's her grandmother.

Even our history teacher didn't recognize it.

But she's also, unfortunately, brilliant.

- What are we gonna do about her?

- Get her a boyfriend. [both laugh]

- First off, we'll sweep up the cobwebs out of her cooter.

- Sorry. - Sorry.

We'll focus.

- Last and least...

- My bad.

- Michael Dipnicky, top of the class,

as nerd as nerd gets.

No friends, no life, and no lunch.

That one will be easy.

Find out about Christine.

I'm going to try and get Kennedy a date for the prom.

[upbeat music]

She's totally into you.

Probably wouldn't be hard to talk her into anything.

- Okay. Talk her into staying away.

- I know it's hard to believe,

but I've seen her in the locker room.

It's like buried treasure. - It's not all about looks.

- I know.

- And also, I don't believe you.

- Well, look at it this way, once you lose your virginity,

the second time, you can trade up.

- I'm not a virgin.

- Oh well.

I can't fight upstream against the limited range

of aesthetic appreciation in teenage boys.

I'm sure later in life, she'll find some man who thinks

that "The Addams Family" is the best he can do,

but if he's at this school, he's got a few more years

of lonely jacking off before he's ready.

♪ ♪

No, it won't be a boy that distracts Kennedy.

Hey, Kennedy. How's it going?

- It's private. - I didn't ask you anything.

- I'm telling you ahead of time that this is private.

- [chuckles]

Okay, I got to put a pin in this

and move on to the sure thing.

Dipnicky, he's been easy to read for four years.

♪ ♪

The signals animals give one another.

Oh, he definitely gave me signals.

He doesn't want me specifically.

He wants any girl,

fantasizing about some porn star

showing up and teaching him where to put it.

It won't take much to throw him off.

Hey, Diesel.

- Hey, Honor.

Hey, do me the honor?

Do me, Honor.

- God, you're so clever.

Hey, would you mind switching lab partners with me?

- I get it.

You want to be my lab partner, all right.

- No, no, I want to switch lab partners.

- It doesn't make any sense.

You're gonna be partners with dipshit.

- I know. I am doing it for Talia.

She is totally into you.

- All right. Say less, Honor.

See you later, douchebag.

I'ma go get some chemistry for good, baby.

♪ ♪

What's up, girl?

♪ ♪a

- I hope you're okay with this.

I've been having some trouble in chemistry,

and Talia talks through the whole class.

- Yeah, um...

if academic success is your main focus,

then I would seem to be a more viable option.

- Okay.

Today, we're gonna be talking about bonding.

We're gonna form chemical bonds using heat.

- The signals.

- Sheesh, boy, is that my girl right there?

Looking good today.

- Did you tell Diesel that I liked him?

'Cause he's been all over me. - No, of course not.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

- What did you find out from Christine?

- Oh, it was actually kind of sweet.

He said he wants to save himself for marriage.

- O-M-G, that's so romantic.

- I know!

- Hmm, look at Travis.

Boobs right in his face.

Those are great teenage boobs.

And he's avoiding them.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

You know when you're doing a puzzle

and you're trying to find just one piece

that fits, seems like forever,

and then, finally, you find it, but then you're just looking

for the next piece, and the process seems endless.

And then suddenly, you see the picture.

I hate cliches, but two birds are

about to get their skulls crushed with one stone.

- Down!

- Articulation comes from the tip of the tongue,

the teeth, end of the lips.

- [trilling]

- ♪ Low ♪

- Meow, meow, meow.

- Meow. - ♪ Meow ♪

- [vocalizing]

- Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies.

- Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies.

- Dead puppies, dead puppies,

dead puppies, dead puppies.

♪ ♪

- The theater club, a place people go

when they don't feel welcome anywhere else.

Hey, Ms. Felson.

- Honor, what are you doing here?

- I want to join.

- Aw, senior year? Little late.

- You remember Gary.

He's the coyote, and this is

his little barren patch of desert.

I really want to work behind the scenes:

Set design, lighting, whatever.

- Oh, my God.

Wait, it is so great that you're joining.

We could always use behind-the-scenes people.

- Sure.

- I'm really happy you're here.

I've always thought that we should be friends.

Oh, and on Saturdays, some of us go bowling,

but we don't invite everyone.

- Got it.

Bowling with the theater kids,

who the hell even knows what that is?

Hey, Kennedy.

- Okay, attention, everyone. Attention, please.

The stage is yours.

- All right now, although I'm the faculty advisor,

you know I don't like to throw my weight around.

The two choices are "Spring Awakening"

and Kennedy's play.

- Okay, thank you, Ms. Felson. Great nurturing.

Great nurturing.

Okay, so everyone, show of hands.

"Spring Awakening."

Okay, yeah, I think that is a majority.

Oh, Kennedy, I'm really sorry. Maybe next year.

Oh, that's right, you're graduating.

Maybe college.

Okay, so sign-ups for auditions will be posted tomorrow,

but everybody who is already in the club

gets priority casting.

All right, let's go, everyone. Curtain's up in three weeks.

That is not much time.

- Hey, Kennedy, for what it's worth,

I thought your play was amazing.

- You didn't read it.

- Of course I did. You posted about it online.

- Right.

If you read it, what's it about?

- The play is about Queen Mary I of England,

how she got the nickname Bloody Mary

by executing Protestants,

and how she was forced to choose

between love and power.

♪ ♪

- You did read it.

- I did read it.

- You're the only person who's ever read one of my plays.

- Haven't your parents read them?

- No.

- Okay, that's sad.

Well, I think we should get the theater club

to put your play on.

- Yeah, right. Good luck with that.

- I make my own luck,

and that is a great Edith Cavell costume.

Wartime nurse, executed for spying.

You posted it on Facebook.

♪ ♪

Poor girl, so ignored and so used to it.

I suppose I should be sympathetic,

but as I always say,

you can't spell sympathetic without pathetic.

- I won't interfere, Honor.

It's a student-run club.

Don't you like "Spring Awakening"?

- I love it.

It's just that I loved Kennedy's play that much more.

Did you read it?

- Of course.

- Wasn't it wonderful?

She's got such a unique voice, and I just thought,

if we did her play, it would have been a great way

to show Kennedy that she's appreciated,

even though she's not popular.

You know, girls who don't have a lot of friends,

who the boys ignore must be so painfully lonely.

Women like us, we can't even know what that's like.

- No, no.

- I think you might be feeding it too much.

- Oh, my goodness.

Oh, honey, oh.

- Miss Felson says we have to do Kennedy's play now.

- What? - What the hell?

- What happened?

- Okay, we can all bitch-- we can bitch later, all right?

But we need to hold auditions, and we're already behind.

- May I? - Yes, Honor?

- Well, we could save some time if we offered the role

of the Duke to Travis Biggins.

- What? - Oh, the romantic lead.

Why don't we just flush the whole production

down the toilet?

- That guy gets cheered every time he walks on a field.

Why do we need to give him more attention?

- Well, 'cause we'd be getting ourselves more attention.

I mean, the girls love him.

He's friends with everybody.

Captain of the lacrosse team might bring in

a whole new audience.

- You mean assholes? - I don't judge people.

- This is ridiculous.

He's never done theater, and we're gonna

give him the lead?

- Come on, Gary. We can't just ignore our craft.

- Oh, get off it, Todd.

You've been in three plays your entire life,

two of them as Captain Hook.

- You're not actually considering this.

- Well, we want as big an audience

as possible, don't we?

- Yeah.

- And wouldn't it be nice to do a play

for people besides the arts kids and our parents?

- I had a feeling Gary might be open to this.

If I'm right about Travis,

Gary's probably known him longer than I have.

These are all pieces of the puzzle.

You'll begin to see the full picture shortly.

- Kennedy, what do you think?

- Me?

- Poor girl.

With no warning at all, for the first time in her life,

someone asked her opinion.

- What do you think about Travis playing the Duke?

- Uh, I don't know.

♪ ♪

Who's Travis? - Okay, Honor?

Honor, you're probably the only person in this room

who's ever spoken to him.

Will you ask him?

- In, out.

In, out, in.

- I don't know, guys.

I've never really done any acting before, so--

- Oh, don't worry. I'll help you.

♪ ♪

- This is very delicate.

I need Travis in this play,

but Gary has something that I don't have,

a penis.

- Travis, say good night to your boyfriend

and come get on all fours.

- I gotta go, guys.

- First cast meeting is tomorrow!

- Line it up. Let's go.

- I've always wondered, do you think Travis is--

- Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

- Let's go. - Gay.

♪ ♪

- Now, at this stage of the experiment,

it's really important to pay attention to the heat.

Keep your eye on it.

- Like a Weeping Angel.

- What?

- Oh, nothing.

Weeping Angels are these aliens in "Doctor Who."

If you look away from them, they'll kill you.

- Yeah, I know.

I just can't believe you watch "Doctor Who."

- I'm sorry. Don't make fun of me.

- No, no, no, I'm a fan.

I don't make fun of people.

- Who's your favorite doctor?

Mine's... both: Matt Smith.

[both laugh]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Oh--ah! Michael, I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry. - That's my fault.

- No, that was mine. That was mine.

- We have a quiz tomorrow.

This little encounter plus what I have planned for tonight

is the first wave of my campaign.

You see, the day Michael became my lab partner,

he requested to follow me on, like, everything.

I didn't jump to welcome him in,

but I know he's just waiting to see all the hot pics I've got.

That's not ego.

That's just a statement of fact.

Now, I tap this button,

and I picture Michael sitting alone

in his nerd cave at his computer,

studying for the midterm, when he gets a notification.

♪ ♪

And instead of studying,

he spends the evening tugging his slug.

Any girl who doesn't think that's what goes on

when a guy hits her up online is kidding herself.

- Beth, my favorite student. You coming to my next show?

They don't card, okay? - No.

All right. Guys, come on.

I'm gonna call your mom and tell her you do drugs.

Hey, no take backs! No take backs!

You want to hear some sick-ass acoustic rock or what--no.

'Sup, player, you gonna come see my Dua Lipa,

Ted Nugent mash-up, or what?

No? Honor.

- Hi. - Hey, hi.

Whoa, ah, ah, ah.

Classic us.

You missed my big gig last week.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Calvin. I've had a lot of work.

- Well, you are in luck

because I got another one coming up.

Bam, Sunday night. Be there.

- Ooh, I don't know.

- What?

Well, you don't wanna--

you don't wanna disappoint me, do you?

♪ ♪

I'm just kidding.

You couldn't disappoint me, unless you disappoint me.

- [laughs] Um...

I'll be there. - Yes!

And I will get you backstage after the show.

- God, I'm gonna keep paying for the fact

I thought he was harmless.

- Happy?

- This looks like a kid's Cinderella costume.

- Sleeping Beauty.

Some kid wore them for Halloween,

and their parents donated them.

- These aren't the least bit historically accurate.

They're also awful.

- Well, it's not like anyone's giving us

any money to buy or even rent new ones,

so we're stuck with these.

- It's too bad.

They do such a disservice to the authenticity of the play.

- We're not using these.

They'll ruin everything.

- What choice do we have?

- Yeah, I mean, it's not like we can make new ones.

♪ ♪

- I can. - Hm?

- I can make historically accurate costumes.

I do it all the time.

- Well, yeah, but not for a whole play

that's in like three weeks.

What about your schoolwork?

- This is more important.

- Starting to see the puzzle?

- Okay, yes, this is fine with me,

but we need to get going with auditions,

and I think we're gonna need to find another Duke, okay?

- Nah, I don't think so.

[slow music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, guys. What's up?

- Well, what are you waiting for?

Get your beautiful butt in here.

We got work to do.

All right, everyone, gather round.

- I don't know if any of you have

ever baked bread from scratch.

I used to do it with my mom all the time.

You have the recipe.

You measure out the ingredients,

follow the instructions.

Still, if it's the first time you're making that bread,

you have no idea if it's gonna be delicious,

let alone edible.

Well, I think this bread is going to be outstanding.

Huh.

♪ ♪

[bell rings]

- It's obviously not a completely accurate recreation

of Mary's coronation gown, but it's as close

an approximation as I could make.

- It's amazing, Kennedy.

But, um, you look exhausted.

- This is how I always look.

- All right, everybody. I need your essay assignments.

Please, pass them forward.

- That was due today? - Yeah.

Maybe you could turn it in late.

- Do people do that?

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Here you go. - Thanks.

♪ ♪

- What did you get for number six?

- Hmm, that's the last quiz before the midterm.

So going back to the bread metaphor,

I think this dough needs a little more yeast.

Hey, Michael, I was wondering, what are you doing tonight?

♪ ♪

- Studying.

- I know it's a big pain in the ass,

but would you be willing to study with me?

I've been having some trouble

with the laws governing chemical bonds.

- Yeah, sure. That sounds--sure.

♪ ♪

- You're probably wondering, "How far is she willing to go?"

The answer is not far because I won't have to.

[doorbell rings]

- Is Honor here?

- Hi, Michael.

Okay, thanks, Dad. Come in.

- It's nice to meet you, sir.

I like Burger Land a lot.

- So covalent bonds are transferred electrons.

- No, actually, um, they're shared.

- Right. - Ionic are transferred.

- Right, right.

Yeah, for some reason, I just--

I can't keep that straight.

♪ ♪

Oh, this pen is out.

♪ ♪

Ugh, this one's no good.

♪ ♪

- You know, you might break the tip off.

- Oh, just one more.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- So how'd you do on that quiz yesterday?

- I did okay.

- I just squeaked through myself.

What?

- Well...

do you really need help with chemistry?

- What do you mean?

- I just feel like you're pretending not to know stuff

that you already know.

- I'm not.

I really do need help.

- I saw an A on your quiz paper today.

- Look, I'm sorry I wasn't open with you.

I just--I think you're really smart,

and sometimes, I feel kind of stupid around you.

Most people do.

- I don't think people feel stupid around me.

I think people are just stupid on their own.

- [laughs]

Asshole.

- You know you're smart.

This is a great book.

- Really? You've read it?

- Yeah.

You know, I guess a part of it

just feels kind of relatable.

Feeling trapped by your own society.

Kind of wishing for that better life.

God, if I can just get through this year.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- Knock, knock.

Here's some hot chocolate and pecan zucchini bread

for you workaholics.

- Thanks, Mom. - Thanks, Mrs. Rose.

- So...

- Michael.

- Michael, tell me about yourself.

What do your parents do?

- Mom, we're studying.

- Well, he has a minute to talk.

Maybe I know his mother. - I don't think you do.

Sorry, this is delicious.

- We'll study at your house next time.

- No.

I mean, we're not going to get snacks like that at my house.

- See, Honor? It's not so bad here.

So, Michael-- - Mom.

We have to get back to work.

- All right, all right.

Well, enjoy your snack.

- Your mom seems nice. - She's terrible.

- [laughs]

- [chuckles]

- All right, give it to me. - Oh.

- Come on. - All right, it's right here?

- Follow him home?

- Yes, I need you to find out where he lives.

I have the feeling he was trying to hide something.

And I can't do it because I have play rehearsal.

- No, you don't have to explain.

Whatever you need, I'm here for you.

- See you guys later. Love you.

both: Mean it.

- Here you go.

- Hey, boys, catch that?

- Nice.

- Wow, this is really nice, Kennedy.

- I couldn't find the right upholstery for the throne,

but the hydraulic lift will be a showstopper, so...

- Hydraulic? - I'll show you later.

- I can't believe you have the time for all this.

- I don't.

If I fail English, it's all because of you.

- Well, I'm not sure that that's my responsibility.

- It was a joke.

- Yeah, I know. - I'm super funny.

- Okay, breathe with me.

Now, let's try this again.

[upbeat music]

- I'm the rightful ruler of England.

I'm not going to walk away

from what this throne will give me.

- But, Mary, I love you.

- Now, take her in your arms.

♪ ♪

- Do you love the throne more than me?

- Men don't have to choose between love and power.

Why must a woman? - No, no, no, Grace, come on.

Throw yourself into his embrace, okay?

You love this guy, okay?

You'd let him do anything to you, even butt stuff.

Come on.

Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.

♪ ♪

- Men don't have to choose between love and power.

Why must a woman? - Oh, my God, no, come on.

Get out of my way. Okay, now, watch this.

♪ ♪

Men don't have to choose between love and power.

Why must a woman?

♪ ♪

- Sometimes, life gives you lemons,

and sometimes life just hands you a lemonade

with a really cute umbrella sticking out of it

and a mini biscotti on the side, no charge.

♪ ♪

- What is this?

The stupid fucking asshole show?

- Oh, shit. - Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just my ego and my coccyx.

- Did you just say you broke your cock?

- No, it's coccyx.

It's the bottom of your backbone.

- All right, then, Romeo, you got practice.

- Sorry, dad. I got to go, man, sorry.

- Coccyx.

- Mind your business, slut.

♪ ♪

- Ew, this place is so cringey.

- Yeah, I can't believe he lives here.

- If we're kidnapped or murdered,

they'll know where we were last based on that cell tower.

It was on a "True Crime" podcast.

- Come on, hopefully, he lives on this street,

and we can go home and--

♪ ♪

Where'd he go?

- I don't know.

- ♪ I'll stop time for you ♪

♪ The second you'd say you'd like me to ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I just want to give you the loving that you're missing ♪

♪ Baby, just to wake up with you ♪

♪ Would be everything I need ♪

♪ And this could be so different ♪

♪ Tell me what you want to do ♪

♪ 'Cause I know I can treat you better ♪

♪ Better, better, better than he can ♪

Thank you so much.

And a special shout-out to one special girl.

This one's also for you, blondie.

- [sighs]

- Hey, how about I buy you a drink?

- No, thanks.

- Sure?

Nothing I can get you?

♪ ♪

- Well, actually, you do have something I want.

- What's that?

- Those roofies you were going to put in the drink

you were going to buy me.

- I wasn't going--

- Ah-ah-ah, and them over.

I'm underage, so you want to do what I say,

and then get the hell away from me as fast as you can.

- ♪ Stole my heart and soul ♪

- Rohypnol, roofies.

Serious stuff.

I had no proof he was gonna drug me.

I was just taking my father's advice,

which he gives me at every opportunity.

[as father] Never take a drink from a strange guy.

Guys are assholes.

They're worse than assholes.

They are the stank on assholes,

even the nice ones.

- ♪ That's why you're mine ♪

♪ ♪

Thanks for the beer, Honor.

How'd you get the bartender to give you one anyways?

- Oh, I said it was for you.

- Well, you are so grown-up

they'd probably give it to you anyways.

They probably thought we were a couple, you know?

Because we look like we're the same age.

- You are so much more mature.

- Yeah, but I have to be a tight-ass at work,

you know what I mean?

I come here, and I get on that stage,

and I cannot control my younger self.

He just wants to burst out.

He just wants to rock on, you know?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was wild.

- It was crazy though, right?

I enjoy making music for you, Honor.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

I am gonna give you a ride home, little lady.

Oh!

- Oh, Mr. Calvin, are you okay?

♪ ♪

I didn't like doing that. Stuff's scary.

But I couldn't risk el creep-o making a move.

He seemed fine, just really drowsy.

♪ ♪

I put him somewhere safe.

- [snoring]

[kids laughing]

[hazard lights clicking]

- Is he dead?

- If he was dead, he wouldn't be snoring.

- Hi, we're live,

and we're helping the economically disadvantaged

and it makes me feel so good.

We love the economically disadvantaged.

- So you didn't find out where Dipnicky lives.

- Somewhere on the other side of the factory.

- Yeah, it was so gross.

- Em, you're still live.

- Damn it.

- That tells me a little something.

Maybe why he doesn't want to study at his house.

Although, a struggling family in the city

isn't exactly uncommon.

I need you guys to do something for me.

It's much more important. - Anything.

- Anything.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Yo, let's get a sandy, huh? - I'm in.

♪ ♪

- You guys have such great boyfriends.

I'm so jealous. - Diesel's not my boyfriend.

♪ ♪

I mean, in comparison to Travis and Christine,

I mean, there's just no comparison.

- Yeah, they're meant to be.

- Well, I just know that he loves me.

- Wow, I'm so glad you're so confident.

If Diesel was making out with other girls on stage,

I wouldn't know how to take it.

- Yeah, if Diesel was making out in front of everybody,

it would be so humiliating to Talia.

- But he isn't. - But it would be.

- Wait.

Travis is, uh, making out in the play?

Who with? - Grace.

She's playing the queen.

- Yeah, she's cute,

but she's not as beautiful as you.

- Yeah, and Travis wouldn't go for someone that slutty.

- Bestie selfie!

♪ ♪

- My girlfriend wants me to quit the play.

- What?

- As I said, Talia and Emma are not completely useless.

- What's her problem?

- She doesn't want me making out with Grace.

- Well, then we'll just recast her.

Kennedy, text Grace she's out.

- I don't have her number.

I don't have anyone's number.

- Who the hell can we get this late who can learn the part?

- Well, it doesn't matter.

I mean, she's gonna have a problem

with me kissing any girl.

- Well, what are we going to do?

- Well, I'm not giving up.

I'll be honest with you, Travis,

I really didn't think you were gonna work out,

but you're really good in this part.

- Thanks, but it's just as well.

I mean, I have a couple big midterms coming up,

and between practice and the play,

my grades have already taken a hit.

- I have to time this just right.

We have to pack it in.

I mean, we can't recast anyway.

The only one who knows the part well enough

is you, Gary.

- That's a great idea.

Gary should play Mary.

It would be an homage to the Elizabethan tradition

of men portraying women.

- Oh, my God, check out the unexpected assist

from Kennedy.

They grow up so fast.

- Wait, but wouldn't people--

no offense, but I feel like this is

not usually like what they do.

- Well, it might be a little controversial around here,

and that'll get people to show up.

- I won't do it if you're not comfortable with it.

- Well, I mean, it kind of fixes my problem.

I mean, Christine's not gonna think

I'm cheating with you, right?

- Right. - Right.

- Right.

[whistle blows]

- Song club's over, Travis! You've got practice!

- Sorry, Dad, I'm coming.

- Come on now!

Hup, two, come on, let's go!

Let's go.

- Okay, who's down for bowling?

- Sounds fun, but I can't.

- Kennedy, what about you?

- I--I--

I don't know how to bowl.

- I'll teach you. It'll be glorious.

- Okay.

Fine, but I'm not wearing those gross bowling shoes.

- Okay, come on, we're all wearing

the gross bowling shoes.

- A social dividend for Kennedy.

She deserves it.

Oh, hey, Mr. Calvin.

Great show last night.

- Uh, you came to my show, right?

- Yeah, yeah, it was so much fun.

And thanks for driving me home. - Oh, good.

Okay, I got you home? - Of course you did.

Looks like you had a wild night.

Stole some phones from some lobbies and gave them back?

- [chuckles] Yeah, wild.

♪ ♪

- Wow, that stuff really screws you up,

but back to priorities.

♪ ♪

[cell phone buzzes]

♪ ♪

[phone dings]

♪ ♪

- All right, let's do this.

♪ ♪

I have to admit, it's hard for me

to accept I haven't been enough to distract him.

I really need to get the upper hand.

♪ ♪

- Hi, guys.

It looks nice.

- How was school?

- Good.

- How did you do on your test?

- I did okay. - Yeah?

I got a treat for you. - Yeah?

- It'll be great. - Uh-oh.

- Oh, yeah, chocolate cake. I know you love it.

- Yeah, yeah.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Good day on the grill, Dad?

- Today was deliveries. - Oh.

- Hey, is that nerd coming to study with you again?

- He's not a nerd. - All right, all right.

I don't care.

♪ ♪

- I'm not obsessed with him or anything,

just trying to figure him out.

- Honor, Michael's here! - Okay, thanks!

[footsteps approaching]

- Hi. - Hi.

- What? - Nothing.

- All right, well, midterm is only in a few days.

We should probably get to work.

- Uh, right. Yeah, of course.

Let's get to work.

- Something's wrong.

- Nothing's wrong.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

Yeah.

- "I wait.

"I compose myself.

"Myself is the thing I must now compose,

"as one composes a speech.

"What I must present is a made thing,

not something born."

[soft music]

- [chuckles]

It goes both ways.

♪ ♪

- You followed me home?

- I wanted to know what you were hiding.

♪ ♪

- I don't really like telling people this.

♪ ♪

- I can keep a secret.

♪ ♪

- I live in a foster home.

That's my mom, my foster mom.

- I'm so sorry. - No, don't, don't.

Don't worry about it. Seriously, she's the best.

Unfortunately, she can't really afford

to send me to college,

so we should probably get back to work

because I need a scholarship,

and preferably one for a good enough school,

so I don't have to come back to this shit hole.

- [chuckles]

Yeah, if you come back here, you'll be trapped.

You'll be ugly and forgotten like this town.

- Yeah, you get it.

- I do.

♪ ♪

- Knock, knock.

I've got some hot chocolate and Polish babka.

It's like a Jewish chocolate bread.

- Sounds delicious, Mrs. Rose.

- So how's it going?

No funny business, I hope.

- Mom, we're studying.

- Okay.

- Well, all right.

Uh, no funny business.

- [chuckles]

- Mary, your life is in danger.

I must spirit you away from England.

- Oh dear, sweet Philip, don't you see?

This is who I am.

I won't let them take what I've strived for my entire life.

I have worked too hard and too long.

- Well, what of us?

♪ ♪

- The world is not ready to accept our love.

♪ ♪

- Gary is such a good actor.

♪ ♪

- Okay, let's take five, everyone.

- Got it.

That's really cool.

- Travis needs to work on his accent.

- Well, I hope a lot of people get to see it anyway.

- Well, the livestreaming will have a pretty big audience.

- Livestreaming?

- After we cast Gary in the role of Mary,

I contacted a few LGBTQ+ organizations.

One of them offered to provide the equipment

and website hosting.

They get like 10,000 visitors to their website every day.

- Holy shit.

Holy shit.

- Hey, Kennedy.

Ooh, I love the top, the flowers.

They're just everywhere.

Mr. Calvin asked me to let you know

that he wants to see you in his office.

- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

- Hey.

- So I heard him saying that he was looking for her,

and I volunteered to come and tell you.

- You know what it's about?

- Um, he didn't say,

but he seemed like super serious.

- Okay.

Love you. - Mean it.

♪ ♪

- Um, Honor, can I talk to you for a second?

- Uh, sure, yeah.

- Um...

- That was a great scene.

- Yeah, that was really fun. It was actually really fun.

I...

- Something wrong?

- No, not really.

I just, um...

- Everything okay with you and Christine?

- Yeah, no, it's perfect. We're perfect.

It's all perfect, you know?

We're doing sex stuff, you know?

- [chuckles]

Are you having trouble with the play?

- No, no, no, no, no.

No, the play has actually been, like,

a really amazing thing in my life.

I feel like it's been hard for me to really concentrate

on anything else.

- That could be bad for your grades.

- Oh, I don't care about that.

See, it's like the play,

not even in the play, but just around the play,

I feel like I'm finally getting to be me

for the first time.

It's weird.

- That sounds like it's a good thing.

- Yeah, no it is.

It's a good thing. It's definitely a good thing.

I just--I don't think

my dad would like it very much.

- Like what?

- I just don't think he'd like me being me.

- Travis, I--

- Oh, there you are, Hamilton.

I hate going to lunch without you.

So what are you two doing out here holding hands

like you're a couple?

- Oh, I was just helping Travis with the scene from the play.

- Yeah, she was just helping me with a scene

from the play.

- I think you just have to go with your instinct, Travis.

It's served you pretty well up till now.

- Thank you.

Like, really thank you for your, uh, help.

- I mean, that's the only B I've ever gotten,

and, you know, it's--

once the play is over, then I know that I'll be able

to get them back up.

- It's okay.

You haven't done any permanent damage.

- Hey.

Hey, Kennedy. Hey, Mr. Calvin.

- Hey, Honor.

Oh, see now, Kennedy, you can take some lessons

from Honor here.

She knows how to juggle a lot of balls.

All right, just remember what I said, you two.

- We'll never forget.

[both snickering]

[soft music]

What was that all about?

- My teachers told him they were worried about me.

My grades have really slipped, so he called my parents.

- I'm really sorry, Kennedy.

I feel like it's kind of my fault.

♪ ♪

What's the matter?

- You changed my fucking life.

♪ ♪

- Michael?

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- Hey.

What are you doing here?

- Nothing.

- Come on.

- You're gonna laugh.

- I'm not.

- When I was a kid, I used to take

this route home from school.

I'd pretend that my parents were still alive

and that they lived on this street,

and they were just waiting for me to come home.

It's weird, I know.

- It's not weird.

- You wanna see my favorite one?

It's really nice on the inside.

- You've been inside? - All the time.

I stalked this family for years.

Come on.

Let's go! - Michael!

- ♪ These steps toward faith, I can't imagine it ♪

♪ Pack my suitcase up till I can't bear it ♪

♪ Who am I without this weight on my shoulder? ♪

♪ Oh, God, I'm dying to know, but how dare you want more? ♪

- Come on.

They usually have like a gazillion sodas in the fridge.

- Wait, usually? - Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ Tonight, we're gonna drown it out ♪

- Michael! - What?

They'll blame it on maid. - That's not okay.

- I'm kidding.

- Cheers. - Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

Care for a tour, ma'am?

- I'd be delighted.

- This way!

- Thank you very much. Please have a seat.

- Wow.

- Here you are. - Thank you.

- Well, this is our morning room.

It's where we study in the mornings.

- What do we do in the afternoon?

- Well, we retire to the afternoon room,

where we punish our servants and count our money.

- Who are you? [laughs]

- I have a special treat.

- Okay. - It's not weird, I promise.

- Okay.

- ♪ Tonight, we're gonna drown it out ♪

- Time for the evening concert.

That one there, that's an original.

- Oh. - No, it's not.

This though, do you play?

- No. - I've taken a few lessons.

♪ I keep on falling ♪

♪ In and out of love with you ♪

♪ I never loved someone ♪

♪ The way that I love you ♪

♪ ♪

[gravel crunching]

Oh, crap, out the back. - Oh.

- Seriously, right now. Come on.

[laughter]

We're good.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

I'll see you tomorrow.

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

- I have no choice.

I must secure my throne.

- Very well, Your Highness, but I must remind you,

the Duke is a Protestant.

Do you wish to put him to death as well?

♪ ♪

- Biggins, you got to shimmy it to the back.

- I'm shimmying, already. - Try harder.

[upbeat music]

- Is this really worth it?

- I get paid $12 an hour.

I spent $3 on that granola bar.

- Yeah, it's worth it.

- There she is.

So, Honor, midterms tomorrow. Got a plan?

- Pivot it. - Pivot to the left.

- Michael is going to come over to study tonight.

Tomorrow, he won't know what hit him.

- Oh, my God.

You don't think she's gonna like--

- Oh, no.

- They've got nothing to worry about.

I'm not going to sleep with Michael.

I can't.

I mean, I'm not sure it would throw him off

that much anyway.

He's too sharp, too smart.

And frankly, sleeping with him would throw me off.

I'm a virgin.

♪ ♪

Maybe you're surprised, but have you seen anyone

around here who's worth it?

I've got to get out of here, so I've got to play dirty.

I'm a bitch.

- You're a fucking bitch!

- Christine, what the hell?

Christine.

- Travis broke up with me,

and he said he isn't seeing anyone else,

but I know he is, and I know it's you!

- Okay, okay, Christine. It's not me.

- I'm gonna kick your ass!

- Okay, Christine.

- You bitch!

I am going to kill you!

- Can we talk about this?

Because I really-- I don't wanna fight.

- Well, you should've thought about that

before you stole my boyfriend.

- You remember I took karate, right?

- Ah, ah!

[coughing]

- Christine.

Christine, oh, my God. What the hell?

- It's her. I know it's her.

- It's not her, okay? It's not her.

- Okay, well, then who the hell else could it be?

Who else is as hot as I am, huh?

♪ ♪

- Whoa.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

You mean--

- What, what? What does he mean?

- Tell us, tell us.

- Christine, you're a great girl.

- Were you lying when you said you masturbated

to my selfies every night?

♪ ♪

- Sad.

♪ ♪

- Hold it.

♪ ♪

- Honor, that was like bad-- are you okay?

- Yeah.

- The fight is posted on Instagram,

Snapchat, and Facebook,

for the parents and grandparents.

Wait, is Travis gay?

♪ ♪

- Oh, shit.

Guys, come on!

- Oh, shit.

Dad, Dad, Dad, I can explain, okay?

- What the hell is wrong with you?

- Nothing is wrong with me.

I'm gay. It's who I am.

- I know you're gay.

I've known since you were five years old.

She's the idiot for not knowing.

- [scoffs]

[sobbing]

- But that's not what I'm talking about.

- Wait, then what?

- You're always late for practice!

- [laughs]

Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, Dad.

I swear after today, I won't be late anymore, okay?

- You better not be.

Five minutes! [blows whistle]

- Wait, go to practice.

- You stole my boyfriend! - Oh--

- Boyfriend--boyfriend.

I'm gonna kick your ass!

It's her--it's her-- kick your ass--kick your ass!

You're a fucking bitch.

- Whoa, no, that one could have caused permanent damage.

Seriously, I mean, look at-- - Mom coming in!

Doesn't sound like

much studying is going on in here.

- What kind of bread is it this time?

- Well, it's called a German stollen.

It's kind of a fruit bread.

- It's a new one every day. Can't keep track.

- Well, my baby has high standards.

♪ ♪

- Yes, she does. Thanks, Mrs. Rose.

- You're welcome, Michael.

♪ ♪

- Thanks.

Back to your old nemesis, covalent bonds.

[Your Smith's "Wild, Wild Woman"]

- ♪ In a way, I just know I've seen her before ♪

♪ She carried me home in a '94 Civic ♪

♪ Her face draws a line as a way to get home ♪

♪ I hear her voice calling me, calling me back ♪

- Tired? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, I think we've studied enough.

♪ ♪

Um...

maybe we shouldn't.

- All right, yeah.

Why not?

- Just maybe after the midterm.

- Yeah.

- We should probably be fresh for tomorrow.

There's a lot riding on it for both of us.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

It'll all be different tomorrow, won't it?

♪ ♪

- ♪ I tried to leave her hiding, all strung up ♪

♪ I tried to keep her quiet ♪

♪ But she's screaming inside of me ♪

♪ I tried to keep her hiding, all shut up ♪

♪ I tried to keep her quiet, but she's a wild, wild woman ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ She's a wild, wild woman ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ She's a wild, wild woman ♪

♪ I'm telling you, she's a wild, wild woman ♪

♪ Oh, she's a wild, wild woman ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ ♪

[bell rings]

- All right, everybody. Time's up.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I don't need to care what anyone thinks anymore.

♪ ♪

- I can't watch.

- Neither can I.

♪ ♪

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

- It's so weird to think it's all over.

- Mm-hmm, yeah, it is.

How do you think you did?

- Okay. How about you?

- I don't know.

I think I might have missed a couple.

♪ ♪

He needed it more than I did.

It's weird, I'm free.

Free to like him. Free to see where it goes.

Never had a boyfriend.

Michael!

- Sorry.

- I'm good.

What you looking at, man?

I'm good. Diesel is good, okay?

- You did that on purpose.

- No.

See you later.

- So what's the plan?

- Yeah, we know you're not serious about him.

- Yes, there has to be a plan, otherwise, whatever it is,

it takes huge balls.

- Huge.

- I'm flattered, but I just like him.

- Oh.

- Do you--do you want us to do anything?

- Yeah, do you want me to break up with Diesel now?

- I mean, that's-- that's up to you.

Don't you like him?

- I...

do.

Hm.

- Then don't do anything on my account.

♪ ♪

You guys have been really great friends to me.

I never really told you that.

I could always rely on you.

You gave me a place in high school.

And now I just want you to be happy.

♪ ♪

See ya.

♪ ♪

- Wow.

That was really, like, sweet?

[Dahlya Mani's "Cold and Blazing Sun"]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Rest your head ♪

♪ It's not so hard to lay in bed ♪

♪ Let it wash over you ♪

♪ It seems colder knowing that you are gone ♪

♪ So I'll relax my shoulders ♪

♪ I won't try to run ♪

♪ Into your cold and blazing sun ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Into your cold and blazing, into your cold and blazing ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

- You know, I was surprised you didn't do better

on the chem midterm.

- I guess I took on too much this semester.

- Yeah, I guess you did.

I mean, a whole bunch of you--

Travis Biggins, Kennedy Park, all of your grades fell off.

- Senior-itis, I guess.

- Well, whatever it was, it allowed my fourth choice,

Dipnicky to pull ahead of you,

but, lucky you,

I don't make my final decisions solely on grade point.

You, um, you came to my show,

which that meant a lot to me.

Actually, Honor, you mean a lot to me.

Don't worry about the age difference, okay?

You are so mature.

It is like you are 17 on the outside,

but you are-- you're 30 on the inside.

[soft music]

- Mr. Calvin. - Yeah.

- Are you asking me to sleep with you?

- Well, uh, I don't know if we'd be

doing a whole lot of sleeping.

♪ ♪

- Oh, that's too bad.

You see, I'm still 17 on the outside,

so I really need my sleep.

♪ ♪

Because I'm a child.

Bye, Mr. Calvin.

♪ ♪

[phone buzzes]

♪ ♪

- Guys, stop fighting.

♪ ♪

- Hi. - Hi.

Is Michael here?

- Michael?

- Michael Dipnicky.

- No, he's at my mom's work.

- Oh, um...

could you tell me where that is?

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

Hi, Michael.

- Hey.

Come on in.

- Well, hello.

- Mom, this is Honor.

- Well, it's nice to meet you, Honor.

I've heard a lot about you.

- Thanks.

- Can you stay for dinner?

- Um, no. No, I have to get home.

- Well, I hope you can make it another time.

- I don't understand.

- You ran into me the other day on my way home,

so I made up the story about this house.

I figured the whole breaking and entering thing

made me seem charming, roguish.

Girls always like that.

- Hey, kids. You want a snack?

- No thanks, Sally.

- You wanted me to follow you home.

That's why you said you didn't want to study there.

You wanted to lead me to her house.

- Well, I noticed Talia and Emma following me home,

so I led them to that neighborhood,

but I lost them because I needed you

to see it for yourself.

♪ ♪

Mm, that's why I didn't drag you in with me.

[tense music]

I had just enough time to turn it over,

and I made you wait.

Girls like that too.

They usually have like a gazillion sodas in the fridge.

Also, those pictures that I threw around the kitchen,

they had me in them,

but you were too busy watching me go wild.

- Michael!

- By the way, thank you for not using the roofie.

Of course, if you had put it in the cocoa,

I would have needed to pretend to accidentally spill it

all over your bed.

I guess you saved yourself a cleanup.

- "The Handmaid's Tale."

- You had it with you.

It wasn't assigned in any of our classes,

so I assumed it was important.

- "Doctor Who" is real though.

- Yeah, I love "Doctor Who."

- I don't understand how you knew

that I would do what I did for you.

- When I saw what you did for Kennedy and Travis.

- What?

- You could have used any number of ways

to take them down, but what you chose to do

showed you had a heart.

You could have destroyed them the minute

you found out Travis was gay

and when Kennedy became your friend.

- I didn't want Mr. Calvin to know that I--

- Calvin wouldn't have cared. The guy is in love with you.

No, you did what you did because you cared about them.

I just needed to get you to care about me.

[soft music]

- I--I did care about you.

- I know.

♪ ♪

- So you've just been pretending

to be a nerd all these years?

- I am a nerd.

That doesn't mean I'm a good person.

Look, a girl like you doesn't fit in,

you can pretend to be as shallow as those who do.

A guy like me doesn't fit in,

well, I am not good-looking enough

to really have a say in the matter.

Hate sports.

Everybody at that school either wants to ignore or abuse me,

so I stopped trying to be liked by them.

♪ ♪

- And what about me?

♪ ♪

- I want to go to Harvard.

♪ ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

- Do you need any help?

- Sure.

Wanna grab some dough?

So what's going on with that boy, Michael?

- We're done.

- Well, that's good.

I mean, there was something off about him,

something not genuine.

- [chuckles]

- What's so funny?

- I wish you'd told me that before.

- Well, I kept interrupting your study sessions

hoping you'd get the point.

I'm sorry, honey.

Aw.

- It's okay.

- Don't let the bastards grind you down, huh?

- That's from "The Handmaid's Tale."

- Yeah, I gave it to you.

You never give me credit for anything.

[both laugh]

[crash] - Ey!

- Marvin? - Dad?

- Okay, yeah, yeah, slow down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

Yeah, there you go.

I finished! I finished!

- This is-- - Oh, yeah!

You are the best, buddy! See you Monday, Pat!

- You got it, Marvin. See you Monday.

- Oh, yeah, whoo!

Yeah, oh.

I'd like to thank the Academy of Trees

for making all this wood.

[laughter]

My gazebo!

You see, Tiger, it's like Kenny Rogers said,

when you put your heart in it, it can take you anywhere.

Oh, yeah, come to daddy. Look at it.

- Wow. - Isn't it amazing?

- Ah! - [grunts]

- [laughs] - Yes.

Oh, I can't believe it's finally done.

Ah.

[horn honks]

♪ ♪

- All right, bitches, I'm timing two minutes

for the drama.

- Who are these kids?

- They're my friends.

- Hello, princess, where the hell have you been?

- We were setting up for the dress rehearsal,

and no one could find you.

We were really worried.

- So worried, I rode in a Jeep that smells like sweaty balls.

- Okay, what's your excuse, girl?

The curtain's up in two hours.

- Yeah, I--

I don't know if I'm gonna do the show.

- I'm sorry, crazy person says what?

♪ ♪

- Kennedy can work the cues. You'll be great.

♪ ♪

- Okay.

If you're not going, I'm not going.

- What?

- It's as much yours as mine.

♪ ♪

- Okay, whatever your personal drama is can wait.

You have to help me get into my dress.

Go, go, come on, get in.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Thanks, Honor's mom and dad.

Nice deck!

♪ ♪

- Is she in a play?

- I don't know.

♪ ♪

- I demand to see the queen.

- The queen will be here in moments.

She has ordered your death.

- She wouldn't. She loves me.

- What wouldn't I do, Phillip?

all: Her Royal Highness.

- Why have you brought him here?

- Well, I thought perhaps if you saw him--

- I have made my choice.

- Mary, my love.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Follow my command.

♪ ♪

♪ Follow, follow ♪

♪ Follow my ♪

♪ Command ♪

- Oh, did I forget to mention it was a musical?

- ♪ Did you think ♪

♪ I would be swayed by the stars? ♪

♪ For I come from Venus, not from Mars ♪

♪ Well, big mistake ♪

♪ I won't break, bid farewell to my juicy cake ♪

- ♪ What a queen ♪

- ♪ I have no time for charity ♪

♪ I'm pissing on popularity ♪

♪ When the sun hits the shore, then it's war ♪

♪ You'll be canceled forevermore ♪

♪ I'm the legendary Bloody, Bloody Mary ♪

♪ #VeryVeryGlorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

♪ Glorious, glorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

♪ Glorious, glorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

- ♪ End my days ♪

♪ Spare me a broken heart ♪

♪ I loved you from the start ♪

♪ Was I a fool, dear? ♪

♪ ♪

- Men don't have to choose between love and power.

Why must a woman?

- I knew there was a reason I liked this play.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I thought I was Bloody Mary.

No one was going to know who I really was,

and nothing was going to stand in the way of my success.

I wanted to get away from this town, but really,

the only thing I was trying to escape was me.

I didn't want to show people who I really am

because I didn't want to get hurt,

and I did.

I got hurt.

But I also discovered that the people who are worth it,

you'll love them, and they'll love you back.

♪ ♪

Who am I now?

Still to be determined, but I'll be fine.

- Honor. [clears throat]

We are in the middle of a meeting right now.

- Oh, this will only take a minute.

Hi, Michael.

Has he sent your recommendation to Harvard yet?

- I-- - No, no, no, no, not yet.

- Good.

Because I think you might want to reconsider.

Mr. Calvin,

are you asking me to sleep with you?

- Why, I don't know if we'd be

doing a whole lot of sleeping.

- [laughs]

That's not what it sounds like.

- Really?

♪ ♪

- Honor, you know that you were always

my first choice, right?

- Oh.

Oh, thanks, but I don't want you to recommend me.

Harvard is where all the Kennedys went,

so I want you to recommend our Kennedy.

- Uh-huh, yeah.

♪ ♪

- Bye, Michael.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Like I said, I'll be fine.

- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Now loving is easy, you had me fucked up ♪

♪ It used to be so hard to see ♪

♪ Now loving is easy, everything's perfect ♪

♪ Please don't change a single little thing for me ♪

♪ Now, listen, boy ♪

♪ When you can't even hide it ♪

- Cheers, bitches. - Thank you.

- ♪ And it didn't take forever to find it ♪

♪ I was on my own ♪

♪ Almost glad to be alone until love came in ♪

♪ On time, on time ♪

♪ Now loving is easy, you had me fucked up ♪

♪ It used to be so hard to see ♪

♪ Now loving is easy ♪

♪ Everything's perfect ♪

♪ Please don't change a single little thing for me ♪

♪ Oh, ah ♪

[cell phone ringing]

- Hi, Mom. - It's an alarm.

I don't know how that happened.

- ♪ Ah, ah ♪

- Meow, meow, meow.

[laughing] Shoot.

- It's an art piece. There's no dialogue.

Just bowling.

Dead puppies.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Listen, boy, ooh ♪

- You see, it's like Kenny Rogers said...

♪ ♪

- You forgot.

- ♪ Almost glad to be alone until love came in ♪

♪ On time, on time ♪

♪ Now loving is easy ♪

- ET phone home.

Not from the St. Louis Radisson, little man.

Where did all the students go?

♪ ♪

- Oh, God, ow.

Once you lose your virginity, the second time--

[laughter]

You want to keep going?

[laughter]

- That was the most forced applause I have ever heard.

[whistle blows] - Song club is over, traffic.

You--

[laughter]

- You smell like fries. I meant it as a compliment.

I just told you--

- If it says mirror abort, don't spill.

- You got it.

[laughter]

Mirror--abort!

- Yes, man, he had way more [indistinct].

We were fricking--I, uh--

Let's go again. [laughter]

- ♪ Now loving is easy ♪

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ Please don't change a single little thing for me ♪

♪ Oh, ah, oh ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Oh, ah ♪

- Work it!

- And love you!

all: Mean it!

[dog barking] - [mimicking barking]

- And that's when I knew she wasn't the one.

- ♪ Follow, follow ♪

♪ Follow my ♪

♪ Command ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ Did you think ♪

♪ I would be swayed by the stars? ♪

♪ For I come from Venus, not from Mars ♪

♪ Well, big mistake, I won't break ♪

♪ Bid farewell to my juicy cake ♪

- ♪ What a queen ♪

- ♪ I have no time for charity ♪

♪ I'm pissing on popularity ♪

♪ When the sun hits the shore, then it's war ♪

♪ You'll be canceled forevermore ♪

♪ I'm the legendary Bloody, Bloody Mary ♪

♪ #VeryVeryGlorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

♪ Glorious, glorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

♪ Glorious, glorious ♪

♪ Glorious ♪

- ♪ The legendary ♪ - ♪ Follow my command ♪

- ♪ #VeryScary ♪ - ♪ Now ♪

- ♪ She's the legendary ♪ - ♪ I am Bloody Mary ♪

- ♪ #VeryVery ♪

- ♪ Glorious ♪ - ♪ Glorious, glorious ♪

♪ Glorious, glorious ♪ - ♪ Glorious ♪

- ♪ Glorious ♪ - ♪ Glorious ♪

- ♪ Glorious ♪

- Whoo! - ♪ Glorious ♪

- And scene. [blade thuds]