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All language subtitles for Funny Girls s03e05.eng

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Original subtitles

[whimsical music]

[prop crashes]

- And then they called out my name,

and they we're like, "Zooey Deschanel."

And I put my hand up. I was like, "Me!" [laughs]

And there was a bit of giggle around the store.

- So, was Zoey Deschanel there?

- No, no, no. It just like this gag we do

because a lotta people say that I look like her.

- Oh. Do they?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- More people than just you?

- Yeah. I'm just like playing along with their joke.

- Right.

God, they musta been gutted

that Zooey Deschanel wasn't actually at the Starbucks.

- Ooh, are we talking Starbucks aliases?

I always say Rose Matafeo.

- What?

- And they buy it, too.

- Yeah, I can see that.

- Yeah.

- Okay, no offense. But no one is mistaking you for me.

- Uh, yes they are. Look at this.

Who's this from behind?

[Pauline growls]

- Oh my god. That is a great Rose.

- No, it's not! - No, it's not.

- [chuckles] Stop it. - Stop it.

You see, I'm in your head, Rose.

We're exactly the same, you and me.

- No, you're just copying

what I'm saying. - What I'm saying.

- This is so unfair. - So unfair.

- Okay, can you guys cut it out?

I'm really getting confused here.

- What do you mean?

What she's doing is just

saying the same thing. - Muh, muh, muh.

- At the same time. Stop it. - At the same time. Stop it.

- Stop it. - Stop it.

Uncanny.

- Okay, everyone just stop pretending to be me,

in Starbucks, or work, or anywhere.

- That is a great impression of grumpy Rose.

- Ugh!

- [Woman] Oh my god, did you hear that Zooey Deschanel

was at Starbucks this morning?

- [Woman 2] Shut up! - [Woman] Yeah!

- Or, was she?

[Rose sighs]

[upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[gentle music]

♪ Girl, I see you wearin' all of that makeup ♪

♪ I worry 'bout the time it takes ya ♪

♪ To cover your face in that non-toxic paint ♪

♪ Why are you doin' it ♪

♪ Girl, all of that time you spend brushin' ♪

♪ You could be out there discussin' ♪

♪ Important issues like climate change ♪

♪ And the gender pay gap ♪

♪ Girl, all of that time you spend blendin' ♪

♪ You could be out there defendin' ♪

♪ A criminal in a court room ♪

♪ Assumin' you're a lawyer ♪

♪ And I do assume you are ♪

♪ You're a superstar ♪

♪ If you just take it off ♪

♪ You can be the boss of a company ♪

♪ And girl, under that Maybelline ♪

♪ I know there lies a queen ♪

♪ I do it too but I won't today ♪

♪ 'Cause I look [Beeping] hot ♪

[uptempo music] ♪ Clean it off, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

♪ Clean it off, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

♪ You're perfect just the way you are ♪

♪ I'm perfect just the way I am ♪

♪ And the way I am right now ♪

♪ Is wearin' lotsa makeup ♪

♪ Girl, all your imperfections ♪

♪ Each one is a blessin' ♪

♪ But I can't relate to that ♪

♪ 'Cause all of mine are hittin' ♪

♪ Under all this powder ♪

♪ You'll feel so empowered ♪

♪ With just one wipe ♪

♪ You can turn yourself from an eight to a five ♪

♪ Maybe four ♪

♪ Show your capillaries ♪

♪ To stand with Hillary ♪

♪ I'm with her too ♪

♪ But I'm with her looking [Beeping] hot ♪

♪ Clean it off, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

♪ Clean it off, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

♪ A-oh, A-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ A-oh, a-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave my makeup on ♪

♪ A-oh, a-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ A-oh, a-oh, oh, oh ♪ Oh, yeah

♪ A-oh, a-oh, oh, oh ♪ Shot a ball right to ya

♪ A-oh, a-oh, oh, oh ♪ Got a good ting

♪ I'm gonna leave my makeup on ♪ Tryna, tryna, tryna ball

♪ We wanted Sean Paul to be on this track ♪

♪ But Sean Paul never emailed us back ♪

♪ So this the part where Sean Paul's s'posed to go ♪

♪ If anybody has Sean Paul's number let us know ♪

[down-tempo music]

♪ If all of the girls ♪

♪ Took off all their makeup ♪

♪ And I would be the prettiest girl in the world ♪

♪ If all of the girls ♪

♪ Took off all their makeup ♪

♪ Then I would be the prettiest beauty queen ♪

[uptempo music]

♪ Clean it off, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

♪ Clean it of, whoa ♪

♪ Clean it off your face ♪

♪ I'm gonna leave mine on ♪

[fan powers down]

- [panting]

What? I look dope.

- That was not cool.

[upbeat electronic music]

[city sounds humming]

- [sighs] I'm scared.

- It's gonna be okay.

- [Laura] Yeah.

- Mr. And Mrs. Richardson, thanks for coming in.

- Is the baby okay?

- I've had some news regarding the results of your scan.

- What is it? Is it serious?

- I'm afraid so.

- Oh, my god.

- I'm sorry to tell you both

but your child carries the coriander gene.

[melancholy music]

- Oh, I knew it. I knew something was wrong.

I should've known it.

- What does this mean?

- Carriers of the coriander gene

hate the taste of coriander.

They find it tastes soapy.

Even the smallest amount hidden in a salad

will ruin for them the entire dish.

- Jesus Christ. Okay.

- She's never gonna like Thai food.

- Don't say that.

- She won't.

- We can get them to like 'em special, love.

- And what about Taco Tuesdays?

We're gonna have to make a separate plate

like she some kind of freak.

- Shh.

- I know this has probably come as a huge shock,

and you're just taking it all in,

but look, we do have some resources here to help.

- She'll be stigmatized for being a fussy eater.

Her friends won't wanna invite her out for dinner

'cause they'll think she's basic.

We'll never be able to eat Mexican food.

- Hey, hey. Don't say that.

We really love Mexican food.

- Understandably.

Look, I know this has been very tough on both of you.

I mean, I can't even imagine

what a salsa would taste like without coriander.

Look, it's important that you understand

that as with any pregnancy this early on

you do have options.

Adoption, an Italian diet.

- We don't do carbs.

- No, we're stayin' away from carbs at the moment.

- I guess there's real no other option, is it?

[sad music]

[upbeat latin music]

[wink dings]

[upbeat electronic music]

[classical music]

[door rattling]

[banging on door]

- Hello?

- Do you ever worry about becoming a mother?

- Oh, 100 percent.

- Right? Oh, my god.

Okay, so this morning I actually said the phrase,

"Oh, I love a Sunday drive."

- Oh, my god.

- I know, and last night I was in bed by nine.

Packet of biscuits, cuppa tea.

I was like out by the time the tea was cold.

And I was fine with it.

- That is so Susan.

- Gosh, is the same with you?

- Oh, totally.

Like the other night I went out by myself,

had some drinks at the bar.

Met some random guys there,

and they took me back to their viaduct apartment.

- Right, and it's like your mother, or?

- Oh yeah, totally.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror

as I was about to do a line,

and I was like, "Sharon, is that you?" [chuckles]

- Far out. Gee. [lightly chuckles]

And so, do you see your mom very often, or?

- Yeah.

- [Rose] Oh.

- Oh, like last summer,

I was at this leather night party in Berlin,

and I tripped over this slippery gimp

that was lying on the floor.

And [chuckles] it's actually really funny.

You will never guess who helped me up.

- Your mom?

- No.

- Oh. [laughs] Okay, sorry. [laughs]

- It was my mom's master.

My mom was the slippery gimp lying on the floor.

[laughs] And I'm just standing over her being like,

"Oh, my god. How do I escape my mother?" [gasps]

- Classic. Classic mom story.

- Yeah.

Laura, if you ever need to talk...

- Oh god, Rose. You sound so much like your mother.

[upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh yeah ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[gentle music]

- [Woman] I am a woman.

I am my destiny.

I am Mince,

the new fragrance from Channel.

Mmm.

Mince.

With real undertones of mince,

it smells just like mince.

Cooked mince.

Mince.

It's made with real beef mince.

Is someone cooking mince?

No, it's just me.

With subtle notes of mince.

Mince. [sizzles]

[sultry music]

Mince.

[speaking in French]

- No. [speaking in French]

Mince by Channel is a perfume,

and it smells like some Mince.

Mince.

[upbeat electronic music]

[cheerful classical music]

[man wretches]

- I completely forgot to brush my hair this morning.

I just can not adult today.

[Rose snorts]

- I just can not adult today.

- I can't adult. I haven't brushed my teeth

in, like, a whole week because I'm so bad at adulting.

- Hey, you think you can't adult?

Last night for dinner I ordered pizza

for the third night in a row. Ooh!

- I'm a little baby. I need milk.

A, mama. Goo goo, ga, ga. Where's my mom?

- A-waa, waa - Waa, waa.

- I can't adult. I don't wanna be an adult today. Oh.

- Rose!

[scoffs] What have you done?

- Um.

- Look at you. That's just ruined now, isn't it?

- Yes.

- And we're going to have to change you now, aren't we?

- Yeah.

- Come on.

- Sorry.

- Hurry up.

- [Rose] I'm sorry.

- This is the second time today, Rose.

What have I told you about watching your drinks?

- Don't forget to burp her or she'll get gassy.

[upbeat electronic music]

[tranquil music]

[exhales and sighs]

[phone buzzes]

- Sh-t. I slept through my biological clock. [sobs]

[upbeat electronic music]

[energizing music]

[audience applauding and cheering]

- Welcome back. I'm Chad Regalton.

And this is "Can I Get A Word In?"

Contestants, hands on buzzers.

Here we go. Question number one.

In New Zealand, what year did women get the vote?

[buzzer clicks]

- [Karen] 1893.

- 1893.

- Correct, Nigel.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I think I actually said it first.

- Oh, I'm sorry Karen. I didn't hear ya.

- Oh, not a problem.

Maybe I wasn't speaking loud enough. [chuckles]

- Probably.

All right, don't worry.

There's still chance to

- [Audience] Get A Word In.

- All right, question number two.

What does Amal Clooney do?

[buzzer clicks]

- Human rights lawyer.

[buzzer dings]

- Be George Clooney's wife.

- Correct, Tim. Points for you!

- I'm sorry. I actually pushed my buzzer first.

And she's not just George-

- Sorry, Karen. I didn't hear ya.

Must have cotton wool in my ears.

[everyone laughs]

Hey, but don't give up.

There's still chance to

- [All] Get A Word In.

- All right, question number three.

Finish this Beyonce lyric.

Who runs the world?

[buzzer clicking]

- Girls! It's girls.

[buzzer dings]

- I think you'll find, Chad, it's men.

- Oh sorry, Tim. That's not the answer we were looking for.

Anyone else?

Nigel.

- It's, [buzzer clicking].

It's girls.

- Sorry, Karen. You have to put your hands on the buzzer.

- Okay, it's not working.

- Far out. This is a bozzy ass one, eh,

because if it's not men, who is it? [chuckles]

- It is a tricky one.

Uh, sound guy?

[blows raspberry] Anyone else?

- I know. I know the answer! It's girls!

- Anyone else?

[megaphone squeals]

- It's girls!

- Anyone, anyone at all?

- Oh, oh, oh.

[buzzer dings]

- Ooh. Tim, you think you know the answer?

- I think I do, Chad.

Is it sex? [laughs]

[all laughing]

- You wise cracker, Tim.

No, unfortunately that's not the answer we're looking for.

[audience applauding]

Wow, a surprising result here tonight

with our two contestants not being able

to answer the final question.

I've been Chad Regalton.

Up next, it's "I Think You'll Find".

[exciting music]

[overlapping voices]

- I think you'll find... - I think you'll find...

- I think you'll find that you're quite close,

but just a little off base.

- I think you'll find you're not looking at this

from a global perspective.

- You shouldn't even trust everything you read [chuckles].

- Look though, what I think you'll find is

that this isn't even really, like, a feminist issue.

[trumpet flare]

[upbeat electronic music]

- Okay, come on. Did you actually enjoy the film, though?

Because to me it was just, like, a trite exploration

of sexuality completely positioned in the male gaze.

- Your third-way of thinking is clouding your clarity.

I mean, it was obviously a complex examination

of the intricacies of female sexuality.

And furthermore, the delicate interplay

between masculine and feminine energy.

- Your reduction of feminism into these segregated waves,

- Ah, this again.

- Just shows that your analysis is of-the-moment.

You're not examining female sexuality

as a whole in it's full context.

Hi! Would you like some Mince by Channel?

- It smells like real Mince. [giggles]

- I like that.

It reminds me of where I like to see my wife the most.

In the kitchen.

- [giggles] Oh my gosh, you're so bad.

- I like to cook for my man. [giggles]

- Bye! - Bye!

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.

- Bye!

See, I think that the entire film was a satire

clearly lampooning masculinity

in a prison which men, specifically straight, cis men

have built for themselves.

Or, perhaps a prison in which society built around them.

- Oh, give me a break.

That character needed to accept

some form of moral culpability for his actions.

- I don't disagree.

- Really? Because it sounds like you're just saying

that men are like victims of these circumstances

even more deserving of sympathy

than other far more marginalized groups.

- Oh, hi fella. How are ya?

- DO you wanna try some Mince by Channel?

- Yeah, you wanna have a tester for the lady in your life?

- You said testicle.

- Oh my, no she said tester!

- WTF? [giggles]

- My gosh. [giggles]

- I made it sound like you said testicle.

- You are so smart. Isn't he so smart?

- He's so smart. [guy laughing]

- He's so smart. [giggles]

- [giggles] Bye!

- All right, see ya.

- Bye! - Bye!

Bye!

- Whoa. [chuckles]

[girls giggle]

[girl sighs]

- Got into Mensa.

- Great. Good. Good for you.

[upbeat music] ♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ Funny Girls ♪

♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

- [Announcer] Welcome to the [indistinct] Sheep Dog Trials.

- I'm here to sign up for the Sheep Dog Trials.

- Ma'am, where's your sheep dog?

- You're lookin' at her.

[inspirational music]

[sheep bleating]

Yah! Yah!

- Pretty good at that, Babs.

- Better than any dog. [chuckles]

- Well, I mean yeah. You're human.

- I'm sorry, ma'am.

But the rules say, "A sheep dog has to be a dog."

- This is because I'm a woman, isn't it?

- Mm, no.

It's because you're not a dog.

- No, I'm not a dog.

I'm a b-tch.

[paper crinkling]

Woof! [growls]

[inspirational music continues]

- Let me get this straight.

You actually want to compete against the sheep dogs.

[audience murmuring]

Order.

Order. Order! [gavel banging]

[triumphant music]

- Did you know that in over 150 years of this competition,

a woman has never competed against the sheep dogs.

- Yeah, course not. Neither has a man!

- This competition's for bloody dogs!

- [Group] Yeah, yeah!

- [Man] Dogs!

- Ms. Preston.

I just don't think this is a Woman's Rights issue.

- You're right.

It's a Human Rights issue.

- No, it's not.

[sheep bleating]

[loud clapping]

[inspirational music]

That doesn't even make sense.

Don't. Stop clapping.

[group cheering and whistling]

She looks bloody ridiculous.

- Oh, this isn't about you, Marie.

This is about women, everywhere.

[group cheering]

- She's pickin' up the sheep.

You would never see a dog do that!

[group cheering]

- [Announcer] And the recipient of a year supply

of Wags Dog Biscuits,

as well as a sponsorship deal

as a Wags Dog Biscuits ambassa-Dog is Barbara Preston.

[audience applauding] [triumphant music]

- Women can do anything!

[crown chanting] - This isn't inspirational.

It's not like getting the right to vote.

[crowd cheering]

Oh, come on!

I was the first female president of this committee.

Nobody carried me out on their shoulders!

[gentle music]

[upbeat electronic music]

- Okay, so. Get this.

Brenda just got her wisdom teeth taken out.

How ya feelin', babes?

[both laugh]

- Not good.

- [Man] Oh, looks like someone had too much laughing gas.

[Brenda giggling] YouTube is gonna love this.

- I don't love you. [giggles drunkenly]

- [chuckles] Good one, babe. [chuckles]

- No, I don't love you.

I love Chris.

I've been cheating on you all year with Chris. [giggles]

- [Man] Chris, is this true?

- Yeah.

[upbeat electronic music]

[gun booming and clicking]

[bombs booming] [gunfire blasting]

[ominous music]

[bomb explodes]

- We're bein' pounded by the [indistinct] in that tower.

[gun fire continues]

Jones, you better take your squad around the back

and try to flank them.

- Yes, ma'am. Alpha squad on me!

- Steven, you and your squad are suppressing fire.

- Delta Squad.

- [Both] Hoo-rah.

- And Davidson, I need you and your squad

to charge that tower, and bring it down!

- Um, I think there might've been a mistake.

- You're are Mary Davidson, are you not?

- Um, yeah.

- And this is your squad, right?

- [giggles] You know we're a squad.

- Squad goals!

- Girl squad! [giggles]

- Oh, squad pic.

Ah! [giggles]

- I need you on point for this!

- Oh, we are always on point.

- [Group] Yeah. Yes!

- Then you get out there,

and you face those bullets, soldiers.

Go! Go! Go!

- Okay. - Okay.

- What a drill Sargent.

- I shoulda worn flats.

[upbeat electronic music]

[classical music] [Guard imitating machine gun]

- [light chuckle] It's funny because if you tickle a rat

it will laugh.

- Why am I always being cast as the old characters?

"Tired old witch". Are you kidding me?

"Old crone". [papers rustling]

"The Concept of Aging".

And this next one, I'm just playing a corpse.

- I think it's just 'cause you're older than me, so.

- I'm 25.

- Are you?

- Yes.

How old am I?

- Older than Laura, just younger than me.

- Told you.

- What? Pauline, I'm 25.

- [laughs] Sorry, yes?

- How could I look old?

I've got the oily skin of a teenager.

- Yeah, that is true.

But why are you always crocheting?

- [scoffs] Okay, Laura. You wouldn't get it.

It's ironic, okay? It's verse of craft.

- You go aqua jogging on Tuesdays.

- It's low-impact.

- You're constantly complaining about there being a draft.

- That one is not my fault

'cause there is always an open door in here!

- Okay, sure. Yeah. You're a young, cool, hip teenager.

- Okay, I can sense the sarcasm in your voice,

but it's true, I am cool!

- Good news, ladies.

That was your podiatrist, Rose.

Your orthopedic insoles are ready to be picked up.

You'll get those achy knees fixed up in no time, okay?

[bell rings]

- How'd she get my podiatrist's number? That's weird.

[gentle jazzy music]

- [Announcer] Thanks New Zealand On Air

for funding all our makeup.

I'm never taking it off.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0