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All language subtitles for Funny Girls s03e02.eng

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Original subtitles

[upbeat music] [car engine revving]

[cheerful guitar music]

♪ Walking home in the middle of the night ♪

♪ All alone and there's no street lights ♪

♪ I don't care 'cause the moon is bright ♪

- [Man] Ow!

♪ And the stars are shining ♪

♪ Walking home through a public park ♪

♪ The council won't pay for lights so it's really dark ♪

♪ I don't care 'cause there's a song in my heart ♪

♪ And that's a silver lining ♪

♪ Had three drinks so I couldn't drive my car ♪

♪ Would have got an Uber but my phone ran out of data ♪

♪ And I don't usually do this ♪

[stick snaps] - Sh-t, what was that?

[Dora panting] [crickets chirping]

♪ Walking home got a smile on my face ♪

♪ I've also got a can of mace ♪

♪ Someone disappeared without a trace in this very alley ♪

♪ Walking home and I pretend ♪

♪ To have a phone conversation with a fake boyfriend ♪

♪ What's that, babe ♪

♪ You've got a gun ♪

♪ And you'll shoot anyone that tries to touch me ♪

- This guy

[Dora laughs nervously]

♪ Want to hide the fact that I'm scared of being alone ♪

♪ So try to look chill by putting on my headphones ♪

♪ But there's no music playing ♪

[feet shuffling] [Rose breathing shakily]

♪ Nothing can bother me ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Holding onto my keys ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ So tight my fingers bleed ♪

♪ I'll gauge your eyes out ♪

- Try me, I'll do it.

♪ I'm feeling confident ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ There's nobody around the bend ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I've forgotten self defense ♪

♪ But I've got hope ♪

♪ I hope I don't get mugged ♪

♪ Murdered or raped when I'm walking home ♪

♪ When I'm walking home ♪

♪ I hope I don't get mugged ♪

♪ Murdered or raped when I'm walking home ♪

♪ When I'm walking home ♪

♪ It's not much to expect ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ That I don't get kidnapped ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Under 10 minute walk from the bar to my house ♪

♪ I'm keeping up a steady pace ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ In case I get chased ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I hope I don't get mugged, murdered or raped ♪

[woman gibbering frantically]

- Stay away from me you pervert!

- Back up, I've got a key!

I've got a key! I'm gonna kill you.

- Dora, it's me!

- Oh, Rose?

- Geez, you gave me a heart attack.

Why are you holding a key?

- I don't know.

Like, kill a murderer.

Or, or, po-poke their eyes out or uh, k-key their car.

I, I thought that's what everyone does!

- No one does that, it's just to...

Oh no, I'm doing it right now.

- There, hmm!

- Do you wanna walk home together?

- Oh my God, yes. Let's do that.

- Okay.

[playful guitar music] [Dora panting]

- Phew!

Oh my God, I already feel so much safer walking in a pair.

- Same!

But, we'd still be completely defenseless against

a large group of men.

- Oh, we'd be goners.

- Hmph.

♪ We hope we don't get mugged ♪

♪ Murdered or raped by a group of guys ♪

♪ A group of terrifying guys ♪

♪ We hope we don't get jumped, groped, stabbed ♪

♪ Or skinned alive ♪

♪ By a murderer who skins women alive ♪

♪ Nobody ever plans ♪

♪ To get yelled at by a passing van ♪

- [Man In Van] Hey ladies, where you going?

But often that sh-t happens ♪

♪ And you just to hope it doesn't ♪

♪ We hope we don't get mugged ♪

♪ Murdered or raped when we're walking home ♪

♪ When we're all alone ♪

♪ We hope we don't get abducted at gun point ♪

♪ And sold into trafficking ♪

♪ That's a genuine fear we have with good reason ♪

[all panting]

[distant sirens wailing]

[twig snaps] [all shrieking]

- Oh, it's a cat.

- [All] Aww!

- [Woman] It's so cute!

- [Woman 2] Come here.

[branches rustle] [all screaming]

[electronic upbeat music]

- [Girl] Funny girls.

Funny! Whoo!

Funny girls.

[gentle spirited music]

[chair clangs]

- Do you know how I know the patriarchy exists?

- Oh, here we go.

- These grapes right here, full of seeds, right?

If we were guys, these would be seedless.

- There's no logic to that.

- No, there is.

If we were dudes,

they would have totally splashed down on seedless grapes.

- Okay, on a scale of injustices,

I'm pretty happy to let that one slide.

- No, but that's how they get you Laura, right?

They build it up, tiny little things until suddenly,

your jeans have no pockets.

- My jeans have pockets.

Oh my God.

- Mh-hmm.

- I didn't even notice that before.

- Yeah.

- Sh-t.

- Why would you do that just after we discussed

you not having pockets?

- I guess I just didn't want it to be true.

- Well, it is true, man.

Wake up. The patriarchy's everywhere.

- Where?

- They're metaphorically.

Sort of like how when you're a girl,

you always have to line up for the bathroom.

And when you're a guy, you never have a line.

- Isn't that because I sit down when I pee,

and if you're a guy

you can pee without taking your pants off?

You just go-

- Exactly!

But who designed those toilets

and didn't give woman more cubicles than men?

- The architec- - The patriarchy!

- Just the females I was looking for.

- Yeah, we have names.

- Haha, very good.

Okay here are your annual bonuses.

- Ooh!

- Think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised.

- This is a voucher for one free hug.

- Redeemable whenever you like.

- A free hug? What about money?

- Money? You can't hug money.

Unless you put it inside a big pillow case.

And then you need a lot of it.

Ugh! Seeds.

W-when did we get grapes with seeds?

[Man chuckles]

That's stupid.

- It's a conspiracy.

- Going once.

- No, no.

- Okay.

Going twice.

- No.

- Yeah, just...

- Stay away.

- Do you want to keep this voucher or should I?

- I'll take it.

No, it's fine.

- Cool.

Oh, I mean, he gave it to me, so...

[electronic upbeat music]

- It's hard to explain to them in that context. Yeah.

Thank you. Cheers.

- I totally understand it.

As a woman of color-

- Sorry, what?

- As a woman of color.

[woman scoffs]

- What color are you?

- Cream.

Like milk.

- Okay, sorry. Carry on.

[electronic upbeat music]

[woman singing]

♪ Oh, give women a vote ♪

♪ Give women a vote ♪

♪ Votey, vote, vote, vote, vote ♪

[woman laughing]

- Oh, Mrs. Banks it is so wonderful

that you're standing for this cause.

- Ellen, I'm no hero.

I just want equality.

- Oh, and you're fighting for it, Mrs. Banks.

Oh, those children of yours must be so proud.

- [Children] Mother!

- Oh, children! Oh, oh!

Ah!

Oh my, you're all covered in soot.

- You wouldn't believe

how much of an exciting day we've had.

- Mary Poppins is so wonderful.

- We love Mary!

- Oh, we love her, do we?

- She took us to meet the chimney sweep today.

- Oh, golly!

How fun!

- And she makes up words, just silly words.

Oh, I admire her so.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

- Well, Jane, Michael, [inspirational music]

you may not have seen much of me in the past year,

but that's because everyday I am out there

protesting with my brave colleagues.

And I do it all for you.

And not just you, Jane,

I want both of you to grow up in a world

where women are treated as equals

by a government who listens to them.

So that's why I stand every day shoulder to shoulder,

defiant, with these brave women

in the hopes of inciting change.

If not in my lifetime, then, perhaps in yours.

- Louis introduced us to a penguin.

- Oh, children there you are.

- [Jane And Michael] Mary!

- Oh, Mary! Lovely to see you.

I was just telling the children

all about the wonderful work

I'm doing with the suffragette movement, ha.

Perhaps you would like to join me on a march one day.

- Oh, no.

I'm not really fussed with all that business.

I'd rather think of mother's place is at home

with the family who loves her.

Besides, who would look after the children?

[tense brooding music]

- Well, let's get you cleaned up.

- I'll do that.

Come along.

- [Mary And Children] Yay!

[brooding music continues]

- [Girls] Ah! Yeah!

Funny girls.

Ah! Yeah!

Ah, ah, ah! Yeah!

Funny girls.

[light airy music]

- What'd you do that for, you dummy?

Ow!

- And then bang, I smashed into it and I just kept driving.

- Why don't you bury it?

- Well, because I did that last time

and then I was picking out dirt from my fingernails

for weeks.

- Girls, I've been searching for the end of that

cow in a china shop sketch

and I can't seem to find it.

I think I've got one of those computer bees.

- Computer bug.

- Oh, that sounds awful.

Well, maybe the bee and the bug will destroy each other

but in the meantime-

- Pauline, there's nothing wrong with your computer.

That sketch doesn't have an ending on purpose.

- Oh, avant garde.

- No, it's a political statement.

- Ooh, okay I got it.

We won't rest until everyone says cow in a china shop

instead of bull.

- No, but that is a cause I would get behind

because it's weird that female cows are treat-

- Rose.

- The last part of that sketch does not exist

and that is to represent the 12% pay gap

between men and women.

- It's a protest.

- Yeah. We didn't write the end to that sketch.

- Yeah, and if people want to see the ending

of that hilarious sketch, then they need to fix the pay gap.

- I love it. Down with the patriarchy.

- [Laura And Rose] Yes!

- Equal pay for woman!

- [All] Yes!

- But I will need to see the rest of that sketch.

- No!

Pauline, this is an important issue.

- It is a sophisticated statement

about the inequal treatment of women in society.

It's bold. It's nuanced.

- [Rose] Mh-hmm.

- Ladies, uh we need you on set for tractor sluts.

- This is about empowerment.

- Uh, girl power.

- Yeah.

- Uh, do you girls wanna fluff your nipples now or on set?

[electronic upbeat music]

- Tom, [suspenseful music]

this is your final rose of the evening.

- Kayla.

[gentle inspirational music]

Mikayla, will you accept this rose?

- Of course I will.

- I'm so sorry, Danny.

You did not receive a rose.

Please take a moment to say your goodbyes.

[gentle somber music]

- I'm sorry.

- Nah, that's cool.

Haha, it's cool, it's cool, man.

Whatever. It's fine.

- Danny I'm s-

- Ah, far out!

Crack up, though 'cause I thought you were gonna,

I thought I was going to beat Mavis.

But it's fine. It's fine.

[Danny laughs nervously]

Oh man. Gutted, though.

Gutted.

Ooh.

[Danny laughing]

Oh, we're friends, right? We're mates.

Mates. Yeah.

Bring it man. Bring it in.

Ah, man, yeah.

Shocker, bro. Shocker.

[Danny crying]

It's really hot.

[Danny sobbing]

It's been a bad year.

It's a bad year.

It's fine.

[Danny gasping]

All right. Oh, I got to

probably

Head off now, so...

Just, yeah.

Boop.

Bros.

[Danny sobbing] [Danny banging on wall]

I don't know.

Oh, God I'm gonna miss you.

[indistinct]

Thank you so much.

[indistinct]

Where is the exit?

[Danny sobbing]

Where is the exit?

[indistinct]

This is the never ending curtain.

[Danny gasping]

Where is the, where is the opening?

Oh God!

[Danny groaning]

[electronic upbeat music]

- Oh my gosh.

I love you so much.

- I love you too, babe.

- Oh, let's share this now.

- Okay, sure.

- All right.

Oh my goodness!

- Oh yeah.

- Posting to Facebook.

[phone chimes]

Oh my God.

- [Woman's Fiance] What?

- There's been another terrorist attack.

- Oh my goodness.

- This is so tragic.

We're not going to get nearly as many likes now.

Just take it back.

We'll do it again in a couple of days.

It'll get way more likes once this all cools down.

- Yeah, yeah, sure, no. No drama.

[woman sighs]

- Why do terrorists ruin everything?

[electronic upbeat music]

♪ Eat lots of sugar everyday ♪

[Mary laughing]

- Hello, Ms. Poppins!

I was just walking down the hallway

and I heard your wonderful singing.

How are things going with the children?

Gosh, I do miss them sometimes.

I suppose they must be asking after me some days?

- Oh no, Mrs. Banks.

They haven't asked once. I think they're perfectly happy.

- Yes. No, that, that's good.

Good.

Well, I suppose you're keeping them distracted,

what with all of these adventures I hear

you're taking them on with uh,

[Mrs. Banks clears throat]

this, this boyfriend of yours.

- Oh, Burt. He's not my boyfriend.

- Right.

Yes, well, I suppose it must be hard to secure a man

when you primarily work with children, so...

Oh, Michael must've had his fencing lesson today, yes?

- That's Wednesdays.

- Right, right. Good uh...

See I, I can see that

they switched that around from Tuesday to Wednesday.

Ah, due to availability,

sort of clashes there.

Jane's dear friend, Emily,

she must be having a birthday coming up soon.

- Emily died of polio Mrs. Banks.

- Right! Oh God, terrible disease, isn't it?

Oh, I must send her family a telegram.

[suspenseful music]

- Just as I suspected.

[Mrs. Banks gasps]

- Well, I hope you're not judging me for my choices, Mary.

I mean, you wouldn't have a job

if I hadn't made those choices.

And anyway, there is nothing wrong with fighting

for the equal rights of men and woman-

- I wouldn't worry, Mrs. Banks.

Know that the children will always love you.

No matter how much time you choose to spend away from them.

- Well, Mary,

I would love to see my children if they're still awake.

- They're not.

- [Michael] Mary, please come and tuck us in.

- I'm sorry. I have to go.

[door creaks slowly]

[tense music]

- [Girl] Ah! Yeah!

Funny girls.

- [Girls] Ah! Yeah!

Ah, ah, ah, yeah!

Funny girls.

[gentle uplifting music]

[van crashing into cone]

- Okay, let's play what you would spend

your extra 12% pay gap on.

I'll go first.

Um, all right I'd either buy orthotics for my flat feet

or Bluetooth headphones.

No, wait, no, Bluetooth headphones.

What about you?

- I would spend that extra money

on lottery tickets so I could make more money.

- No. Okay.

That doesn't seem like a wise decision.

- Well don't tell me how to spend my money.

- Okay, I know. It just seems like a waste, right?

You're already earning money. Don't gamble it away.

- Okay, fine. I would buy a money-making machine.

- No. Okay, none of this like, wish for more wishes thing.

Don't fudge the hypo that you always do.

- Well, what do you want me to spend it on?

[Rose sighs]

- I dunno, something physical.

- Okay, um oh, I'd get a castle.

- You can't buy a castle.

- What, why not?

- The extra 12% would only be like an extra grand.

That's just way too much.

- Yeah, and why can't I spend that on a castle?

- Because you can't buy a castle for a thousand dollars.

- Not outright, obviously,

but it could go towards the deposit.

- Yeah, but even if you saved up the extra 12%,

you still wouldn't have enough money to buy a castle.

- Not with that attitude, mate.

- Fine.

- Buy a silly castle.

- I will!

And hey, you can stay whenever you want.

- Oh, that's cool actually.

- And if you're going to stay at my castle,

can I borrow your Bluetooth headphones?

- Nah.

- What? Is that 'cause it's hypothetical?

- No, it's just because I'm,

think I'm gonna go back to the orthotics.

- Oh.

- I have very bad feet.

Ooh.

[electronic upbeat music]

[church bell ringing] [solemn choir vocalizing]

- Holy Mary mother of God,

Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

- [All] Amen.

- Now, sisters.

Let us spend a few moments in silent prayer and reflection.

- Mother Superior, before we do may I speak?

- Yes, Sister Margaret.

- Well I have noticed many dirty dishes in the sink.

I wondered if Sister Jane was so weighed down

by the love of God that she was unable to put the dishes

from the sink into the dishwasher?

- I apologize, Sister Margaret.

I have not been sleeping well.

It seems the passion of Christ

is so heavy on Sister Margaret's shoulders

that it forces her footsteps to sound

like that of elephants.

- Out of interest, in the Bible does it say

speak at the highest pitch volume you can at all times?

- I don't know, will you be taking that condescending tone

all the way up to heaven?

- Sisters, please.

Let us not stray from the matters at hand.

We are all living here together,

trying our best to share our space peacefully.

Now, let us pray, quietly.

- Yes, Mother Superior.

- "Yes, Mother Superior."

- Oh, Sister Margaret!

- Sisters!

Tut, tut, tut.

- Now let us move forward with nothing but love and light.

- Uh, Mother Superior, if I may?

- Yes, Sister Theresa?

It seems that keeping our thoughts to ourself

has become a mortal sin.

- I just wanted to know if your exorcism was successful.

- I do not know the exorcism of what you speak.

- My apologies, Mother Superior.

I only assumed when I heard the screams and cries

of satan himself coming from your chamber

shortly after Father Stevens ended it last night.

Sounded like a really big exorcism. Lots of wailing.

Like, "Oh, oh, oh!"

[Sister Theresa gagging]

"Whoo! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

Sort of like that.

- Yes, yes, yes, Sister.

The demon has been vanquished.

- [Sister Margaret And Theresa] Hmph.

- Vanquished three times by my count.

- Sister Margaret!

Four.

[Pastor breathes deeply]

- What was that, Mother?

- For the love of God in heaven, let us pray.

- Oh. Yes.

[solemn choir vocalizing]

[electronic upbeat music]

[gentle brooding music] [beverage sloshing]

[Mary's footsteps]

- Goodnight, Mary.

- Oh, Mrs. Banks.

You startled me.

I didn't see you there.

Good night.

- I hope you had a lovely night with my children.

- A wonderful night, Mrs. Banks.

- Hmm, and I suppose you went

dancing with unicorns this time.

- Farm animals, actually.

- Oh, farm ani, oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry. Farm animals.

Cutesy, wootsy little farm animals.

Well how I would love to go

frolicking with farm animals in a field is all fee fi fo,

oh so many fs are in that sentence.

- Yes. Well, good night Mrs. Banks.

- 'Cause you know what, Mary?

I can't. Hmph.

I work too hard every day.

I'm out there laying my life on the line

to make this world a better place for my children.

Huh.

And for what?

For you did a swan in here

and spend all your time with them. Watch them grow.

"Oh Mary, she's the fun one."

"Oh, Mary takes us and we jump into a chalk painting."

Your ba-bag goes on forever.

"Oh, the bag has got a million things in it!

Oh, that's not suspicious whatsoever."

- You think your life is hard, Mrs. Banks?

Try moving household to household,

never really settling down,

never really having a place to call your own.

Try having a talking umbrella

as your only true family member.

And the doctor says my blood sugar levels

are through the roof so that can't be good!

- Well how many milestones am I going to miss, Mary?

Michael's first bike ride. Jane's first kiss.

And for what?

All of this fighting for equality,

this working woman's image I'm trying to uphold.

I'm beginning to think none of it is worth it!

- But do you know what? I can't have children!

I'm barren!

- I'm so sorry. I didn't know, Mary.

[Mary crying]

- It's just so hard because

I'm practically perfect in every way, every way.

Do you know how hard it is to keep up that sort of image?

- Yeah, I know it is.

- Oh God! Oh God!

[Mary sobbing]

- Oh Goodness.

Oh, I'm so sorry I've treated you so poorly.

- And I am so sorry for sleeping with Mr. Banks.

- I knew it! I knew it!

Get out!

[joyous fanfare music]

[electronic upbeat music]

[gentle cheerful music]

- Okay, would you rather be on a desert island with me

or like a really cute dog?

- Hmm, can I eat the dog?

- No.

- Can I eat you?

- No.

- Mkay, the dog.

- Hmph, okay. All right.

Uh, what about this?

Would you rather have like, infinite money for five years

and you like, blow it on whatever you like

but at the end of the five years you die,

or just like, live normally,

you can save up for your retirement

but you never know when you're going to die.

- Well, that depends.

- On what?

- On how I die.

Like, if it was going to be a painful death

over those five years then the second option.

- Okay, so in the scenario it happens like, out of the blue,

like you choke on some ham or you're decapitated.

- Scenario one for me.

I've always wanted to renovate my house.

- What?

You're not going to spend the last five years of your life

renovating your house.

- I would, I've always wanted a kitchen island.

It's be nice to tick that off before I kick the bucket.

- Uh, Pauline, you don't wanna stress about builders

and all that mess.

You want to enjoy the last five years of your life.

- Yeah, and you've got infinite money.

So you can just buy a new house with a kitchen island in it.

- Yeah but why would I want to bother

with the pain of moving?

Plus, I love where I live.

- Yeah, but you can get a way better place, right?

I mean, you can live in five star hotels

for the rest of your life.

- Well I don't know any five star hotels locally

with kitchen islands.

- Pauline, I cannot believe you're going to spend

the last five years of your life renovating your house.

- Well, consider yourselves uninvited to my house rewarming.

- It's a hypothetical situation.

- Nice one, Rose. You got us uninvited from the party.

Her last house warming was off the hook.

- Wait, she had a house warming?

- No.

- You just said that she-

[Laura murmuring]

That she had great parties.

[indistinct]

You having a stroke?

- No.

[bell rings]

[calming music]

[END CREDITS]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0