Original subtitles

- [Narrator] Here's what you missed last week

on Funny Girls.

The team wasn't happy when Pauline organized a game

The team wasn't happy when Pauline organized a game

of netball so she could hit on Gary.

Rose got competitive, Laura got upset,

Rose got competitive, Laura got upset,

and Brynley got her period.

- This is the first time.

- [Narrator] And that's what you missed.

- [Narrator] And that's what you missed.

[intense music]

- Thank you all for meeting me here

- Thank you all for meeting me here

on what I'm sure is gonna be a landmark day

in space exploration.

in space exploration.

You have all been hand selected

for your bravery, excellence and service over the years.

for your bravery, excellence and service over the years.

- Pleasure's been all ours sir.

- Pleasure's been all ours sir.

- We're especially excited to be sending

our first female employee here at NASA

our first female employee here at NASA

into the great unknown.

- I've been waiting my entire life for this sir.

- I've been waiting my entire life for this sir.

- So, without further ado, I'm overjoyed to present to you

- So, without further ado, I'm overjoyed to present to you

your mission, Operation Men Are From Mars.

your mission, Operation Men Are From Mars.

- What's this about?

- What's this about?

- Women are from Venus.

- What is this?

- Johnson, Cartwright, Edwards,

- Johnson, Cartwright, Edwards,

you three will be continuing your ongoing exploration

and living on Mars.

and living on Mars.

- Boy howdy!

- This is incredible. My family will be so proud.

- This is incredible. My family will be so proud.

- Now, Commander Shepard.

- Yes Chief. [clears throat]

- Yes Chief. [clears throat]

- You will be piloting our very first space mission

- You will be piloting our very first space mission

to Venus.

- On my own?

- On my own?

- Well yes, you are the only femme astronaut here at NASA,

so yours will be a solo mission.

so yours will be a solo mission.

- Well I'm pretty certain that Venus is just

a giant ball of fire.

a giant ball of fire.

- Well then how are women from there? Hm?

- That's just the title of a 90s self-help book,

- That's just the title of a 90s self-help book,

what are you-

- Pretty sure I heard... - She's hysterical.

- Pretty sure I heard... - She's hysterical.

- Look I've spent the last ten years of my life

researching the living conditions on Mars.

researching the living conditions on Mars.

We know nothing about Venus!

We know nothing about Venus!

Literally, it's just a title page!

- Well I thought you just said it's a gigantic ball

- Well I thought you just said it's a gigantic ball

of organic fire.

- That's it. - Yeah.

- That's it. - Yeah.

- Why can I not just be sent on the mission to Mars?

- 'Cause women ain't from there.

- 'Cause women ain't from there.

- You know what? Fine.

Because I would rather embark on a doomed mission

Because I would rather embark on a doomed mission

to an inhospitable planet than spend one more moment

to an inhospitable planet than spend one more moment

in your company.

You're all idiots. Idiots!

You're all idiots. Idiots!

So yes, Chief, I will accept your mission.

So yes, Chief, I will accept your mission.

And I will take this,

but only because it's a good folder

and I wouldn't wanna waste that.

and I wouldn't wanna waste that.

I'm still mad.

- Well that was just unnecessary.

- I can't wait to [Beep] a martian.

- I can't wait to [Beep] a martian.

[men laugh]

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[country music]

[country music]

[cow mooing]

- Uh, I know some of our viewers were hoping

- Uh, I know some of our viewers were hoping

we'd be reviewing milk again,

but there actually aren't that many different types of milk.

but there actually aren't that many different types of milk.

[bell rings]

- Oy! Guys, you're twenty minutes over

- Oy! Guys, you're twenty minutes over

your allotted studio time!

- Yeah! How are we supposed to film

- Yeah! How are we supposed to film

our Ghosts with Unfinished Business sketch now?

- Okay, let's wrap up whatever this thing is now, eh?

- Okay, let's wrap up whatever this thing is now, eh?

- You look like you didn't see your own bed last night.

- You look like you didn't see your own bed last night.

- What are you talking about?

- Your hair smells like you've washed it

- Your hair smells like you've washed it

with a shampoo that's also a 2-in-1 body wash.

[Pauline sniffs]

- It's that IT guy isn't it?

- What?

- What?

- You know, we don't care if you're hooking up with him.

- Right yeah, and I wouldn't care either,

- Right yeah, and I wouldn't care either,

because he is a really attractive guy

with a pet turtle.

Probably.

Where's my computer?

Where's my computer?

Damn, I must have left it at Gary's.

Coffee Hut, Gary's Coffee Hut.

Gary's Coffee Hut, where I get my coffee.

Gary's Coffee Hut, where I get my coffee.

- Then where's your coffee?

- Well clearly I forgot that too Laura.

- Well clearly I forgot that too Laura.

Okay, now you listen up.

I just got the ratings back from the last episode

and we are down in all male demographics,

and we are down in all male demographics,

including what was our once rock-solid core of asleep dads.

including what was our once rock-solid core of asleep dads.

- Aw, sleeping dads.

- Aw, sleeping dads.

- Yep, well they're not sleeping anymore Rose.

They are waking up and switching off,

They are waking up and switching off,

so this week I've decided to have a little experiment,

in which I hand over the reigns to-, oo!

in which I hand over the reigns to-, oo!

Speak of the devil.

- Or devils [chuckles].

- Or devils [chuckles].

- Ah!

- Pauline, ya duffer, you left your laptop and coffee

- Pauline, ya duffer, you left your laptop and coffee

at Gary's Coffee Hut.

- [Pauline] Ah, thank you!

- Where you were also kissing that IT guy-

- Okay, thank you, thank you.

- Okay, thank you, thank you.

Okay, I've gotta go and find my underwe-

Find my work, find my work.

- No, no, no, Pauline, you can't leave us

- No, no, no, Pauline, you can't leave us

with these guys!

- Uh, yep, gotta go. I've gotta, I've gotta work.

- Uh, yep, gotta go. I've gotta, I've gotta work.

[Pauline chuckles nervously] Thank you.

- Ladies, we've got a lot of ideas.

- Ladies, we've got a lot of ideas.

[chattering in background]

[chattering in background]

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

[guests chattering]

[glass clinking]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

- Ladies and gentlemen,

the moment we've all been waiting for.

the moment we've all been waiting for.

The presentation of the 21st Annual Southern Cross Medal

The presentation of the 21st Annual Southern Cross Medal

for acts of bravery and heroism.

for acts of bravery and heroism.

[audience clapping]

[audience clapping]

And the nominees are Constable Jan Alice,

And the nominees are Constable Jan Alice,

[audience claps]

for acting without hesitation to apprehend

for acting without hesitation to apprehend

a violent offender, ensuring the safety

a violent offender, ensuring the safety

of all those present.

of all those present.

John Adamson [audience claps]

for his actions at the scene of a fire,

for his actions at the scene of a fire,

risking his own life to ensure the safety

risking his own life to ensure the safety

of all the residents in the building.

of all the residents in the building.

[audience clapping]

And last, but certainly not least, Brad Stevenson.

And last, but certainly not least, Brad Stevenson.

And last, but certainly not least, Brad Stevenson.

[audience clapping]

[audience clapping]

For having a plus-sized girlfriend.

[audience claps and cheers]

[audience claps and cheers]

Okay, drum roll please.

Okay, drum roll please.

[audience members drum tables]

[audience members drum tables]

and the winner is

[drum roll continues]

Brad Stevenson, for having a plus-sized girlfriend.

Brad Stevenson, for having a plus-sized girlfriend.

[audience claps and cheers]

[audience claps and cheers]

[heroic music]

[heroic music]

My late husband would have been very proud.

- Wow, thank you.

Um, firstly, to my fellow nominees,

Um, firstly, to my fellow nominees,

I am honored to be in your company.

Part of this award belongs to the both of you.

Part of this award belongs to the both of you.

No it does, it does.

To the other heroes and previous recipients of this award

who are here tonight.

who are here tonight.

Dave, who dared to try the new Korean restaurant

Dave, who dared to try the new Korean restaurant

in his neighborhood, [audience clapping]

and Kevin, who invited his gay friend, Mike, to his stag-do.

and Kevin, who invited his gay friend, Mike, to his stag-do.

I mean...

[audience clapping]

[audience clapping]

And finally to my big, beautiful girlfriend.

And finally to my big, beautiful girlfriend.

If there's chocolate inside this gold award, it's yours.

If there's chocolate inside this gold award, it's yours.

[audience claps]

[audience claps]

- A true hero.

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

- Matthew, you left the bathmat on the floor, again.

- Matthew, you left the bathmat on the floor, again.

- Do not use my full name.

- I already told you how horrible it is

- I already told you how horrible it is

to step out of the shower onto a sopping wet bathmat.

- Do you know that there are children dying

- Do you know that there are children dying

in the world, Kel?

And you're going crazy over a bathmat?

- Oh you have no idea how much I've sacrificed for you.

- Oh you have no idea how much I've sacrificed for you.

- Aw, don't play that card.

[cheery music]

[cheery music]

- [Narrator] She sure will play that card.

- You got me.

- [Narrator] It's the relationship

- [Narrator] It's the relationship

card game for adults.

To Have and To Hold, where you try to get one over

To Have and To Hold, where you try to get one over

your other half.

- Oh, mom's coming for dinner tomorrow.

- On the weekend? We're supposed to be relaxing.

- On the weekend? We're supposed to be relaxing.

- That's rich coming from you.

I spend all that time with your family.

I spend all that time with your family.

- Don't you pull that-

[cheery music]

- [Narrator] I Did It for You card.

- [Narrator] I Did It for You card.

- You got me.

- [Narrator] He sure did.

- I'll make a roast.

- [Narrator] Play your cards right to get what you want.

- [Narrator] Play your cards right to get what you want.

- Not tonight babes.

- But we haven't, you know, in ages.

- [Narrator] Whether it's an open relationship,

- Almost, but I'm gonna use my trump card.

- Almost, but I'm gonna use my trump card.

- [Narrator] Or a lifetime tied to someone you despise,

- [Narrator] Or a lifetime tied to someone you despise,

- You got me again.

- To Have and To Hold's the game you can play day or night.

- To Have and To Hold's the game you can play day or night.

[baby crying]

- Your turn.

- Sorry.

- [Narrator] You just need to know

how to play the cards you've been dealt.

how to play the cards you've been dealt.

- Nice try.

- [Narrator] Because love is a competition,

- [Narrator] Because love is a competition,

and you could be winning.

To Have and To Hold, collect and play them all.

To Have and To Hold, collect and play them all.

- [Husband] All the time and I'm sick of it.

- [Husband] All the time and I'm sick of it.

[electronic music]

[sitcom theme music]

[sitcom theme music]

[audience cheers]

[audience cheers]

- Well, I was going through the laundry pile

- Well, I was going through the laundry pile

and I found this!

[audience laughs]

Anyone care to explain?

Anyone care to explain?

- It's not mine. - It's not mine ma.

- Well it sure as sugary tits isn't mine.

- Well it sure as sugary tits isn't mine.

[audience laughs]

Far too small, far too small.

Far too small, far too small.

[audience laughs]

Well, own up!

Or do I have to around the table

Or do I have to around the table

like a bleeding Cinderella to see which foot

the shoe fits? Huh?!

the shoe fits? Huh?!

Whose willy is this?

Whose willy is this?!

Whose willy is this?!

[audience laughing]

Whose! Willy! Is this?!

Whose willy [indistinct] is this?

[men laughing]

[men laughing]

- Now this is funny.

- This is awful.

- This is awful.

- Do you not think women are funny? That's a shame.

- That's not a woman!

That is a guy dressed in terrible drag.

That is a guy dressed in terrible drag.

- Why are you showing us this old show

- Why are you showing us this old show

from 100 years ago?

- No, no, this was made this year.

It's Mrs. Pumpernickel, the biggest sitcom in the country.

It's Mrs. Pumpernickel, the biggest sitcom in the country.

[TV show plays in background]

- But the actors are laughing in this scene

- But the actors are laughing in this scene

and they kept it in. What is this show?!

and they kept it in. What is this show?!

- Only the greatest show of all time, surprise!

- Only the greatest show of all time, surprise!

It's me! Mrs. Pumpernickel.

[men laughing and clapping]

[men laughing and clapping]

- Oh my god, you guys clearly must have known

he was behind this thing as you set this whole thing up.

he was behind this thing as you set this whole thing up.

- Excuse me Laura, known she was there. Pronouns.

- Excuse me Laura, known she was there. Pronouns.

- Shut up, shut the [Beep] up!

- Welcome the new edition of the Silly Girls team,

- Welcome the new edition of the Silly Girls team,

Mrs. Pumpernickel!

Mrs. Pumpernickel!

[men laugh]

- No, no, no, no. That is not happening,

- No, no, no, no. That is not happening,

because we're not letting a terrible actor

in a dress join our show,

in a dress join our show,

because you do not call the shots.

That is-, you work for us this time.

That is-, you work for us this time.

Do you remember that?

- But Pauline said-

- No, no, no, no. I do not care,

- No, no, no, no. I do not care,

because as soon as I find Pauline,

I am going to get you all fired, okay?

I am going to get you all fired, okay?

I'm sorry about saying he was a terrible actor,

you are-, you are quite transformative in it,

you are-, you are quite transformative in it,

but I do not want you as part of the show.

but I do not want you as part of the show.

It's not personal.

- Well, I know what'll cheer you all up.

- Well, I know what'll cheer you all up.

Oooo.

Oooo.

- She brought it! She brought the willy!

- She brought it! She brought the willy!

[men laughing]

- Whose willy is this?!

- Whose willy is this?!

Whose willy?!

[men cheering and laughing]

[men cheering and laughing]

- Hey!

- Woo!

- Woo!

- Whose willy is this?

- Whose willy is this?

- Not mine.

- It's your willy!

[men shout]

It's your willy! It's his willy!

It's your willy! It's his willy!

[men laughing]

♪ Funny girls ♪

[hip-hop music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[Mrs. Pumpernickel coughing]

[Mrs. Pumpernickel coughing]

- Listen to the sketch those guys wrote.

- Listen to the sketch those guys wrote.

Interior Wikipedia, feminism is a range

Interior Wikipedia, feminism is a range

of political movements, ideologies and social movements.

They have literally just copy and pasted feminism

They have literally just copy and pasted feminism

from the internet.

- I just can't believe Pauline left us with them.

- I just can't believe Pauline left us with them.

Honestly, I think 80% of the show is just us being

appalled at things, it's exhausting.

appalled at things, it's exhausting.

[men laughing]

[men laughing]

- No, they're-

[group laughing]

[group laughing]

- Laura! Oh hey girls. Hey look I got ripped jeans.

Oh I'm so poor, please give me a job.

Oh I'm so poor, please give me a job.

I need to buy some new jeans.

[group laughing]

[group laughing]

[woman laughing loudly]

[woman laughing loudly]

- Oh, its...

It's good to laugh.

- Rose, Laura, we have some rather exciting news.

We've managed to secure brand name sponsorship

We've managed to secure brand name sponsorship

for the show!

for the show!

- What in the space of one day?

- Money never sleeps, and now neither will you.

- Money never sleeps, and now neither will you.

- It's a brand new energy drink called Demon Jizz.

- It's a brand new energy drink called Demon Jizz.

- The tagline is Demon Jizz, dare to swallow?

- The tagline is Demon Jizz, dare to swallow?

- Now you'll be incorporating Demon Jizz

into every one of your little sketches

into every one of your little sketches

as part of our sponsorship deal.

- Mm.

[Laura gags]

[Laura gags]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

- Ah, well you can be sick,

'cause all these costumes are completely wipe free.

'cause all these costumes are completely wipe free.

Like you'll look like a hot nurse,

but you'll feel like the back seat of an old Commodore.

but you'll feel like the back seat of an old Commodore.

- The lads and I have picked out some sexy costumes

- The lads and I have picked out some sexy costumes

for you to wear in your skits,

because we know how you like to feel sexy,

because we know how you like to feel sexy,

because women enjoy sex now.

- Jasmine, throw these away.

- Jasmine, throw these away.

- Oh yeah, these are disgusting.

- Come on ladies, we haven't given you any costumes

- Come on ladies, we haven't given you any costumes

that we wouldn't wear ourselves,

that we wouldn't wear ourselves,

as a funny joke when we're really drunk.

- Just try them on, it's all we ask.

- Just try them on, it's all we ask.

We'll give you some privacy.

- [Consultant] Take all the time you need.

No rush at all.

No rush at all.

I can't hear changing.

- [Consultant 2] Just imagine we're not here

- [Consultant 2] Just imagine we're not here

while you're getting naked.

- [Consultant] They're probably taking so long

because bras are hard to get off.

because bras are hard to get off.

- [Consultant 2] Aww yeah, I've got a few tips.

- [Consultant] I just get out some scissors.

- [Consultant] I just get out some scissors.

- [Consultant 3] Shall we all turn around on three

and see them naked?

- No. - No, Thomas.

- No. - No, Thomas.

- [Consultant 2] God Tom.

- [Consultant] We'll see them naked if they want us to.

- [Consultant] We'll see them naked if they want us to.

- [Consultant 3] Don't say anything if you want us

to see you naked.

- [Group] Three, two, one.

[electronic music]

- [Brunette Woman] You just don't understand

what I'm saying.

what I'm saying.

- No, what you don't understand is that time is linear.

- No, that is completely irrelevant right?

- No, that is completely irrelevant right?

And you know what,

I think you are intentionally disregarding

I think you are intentionally disregarding

my entire argument pertaining to the existence of freewill.

You're just getting on these little tangents.

You're just getting on these little tangents.

All I am saying

is that there are future infinite possibilities,

is that there are future infinite possibilities,

which by the way is not mutually exclusive

with the idea that time is linear.

with the idea that time is linear.

- [Blonde Woman] Demon Jizz

- [Brunette Woman] Demon Jizz.

- Have you tried it before?

- Have you tried it before?

- No, what's it like?

- It's delicious.

[women giggle]

- Oh, thanks.

- Oh, thanks.

Do you guys come with the drink?

- Oh my God.

- Oh my gosh.

- Oh my gosh.

- You're crazy, you're so nice.

- Have an amazing day. [woman giggles]

- Have an amazing day. [woman giggles]

- Bye.

- The concept of infinite possibilities

is complete mythology.

- Oh here we go.

- Oh here we go.

- Frankly, I think less of you for entertaining the idea

to which you're well aware only serves to facilitate

to which you're well aware only serves to facilitate

the fallacy that we have any modicum of control

over our lives.

over our lives.

- You know what, you're a fatalist and a nihilist.

- Demon Jizz! As if that's a bad thing.

- Demon Jizz! As if that's a bad thing.

- [woman giggles] It's so nice, try one.

It is a bad thing.

It is a bad thing.

- Okay. - Go ahead.

- [Customer] Mm mm.

Oh, almost as bubbly as you two ladies.

Oh, almost as bubbly as you two ladies.

[women giggle]

[women giggle]

- [Brunette Woman] You're too cute.

- [Blonde Woman] You're so cute.

- [Brunette Woman] You're so cute. Bye.

- [Brunette Woman] You're so cute. Bye.

See ya. - Okay, bye.

- Bye. Bye.

- Bye.

[women giggling]

[women giggling]

- Bye.

- Believing in free will clearly only exhibits

- Believing in free will clearly only exhibits

the absence of rational thought

and critical thinking.

- Said by someone whose entire concept of the absence

- Said by someone whose entire concept of the absence

of free will stands on the shoulders of a hypothesis

of free will stands on the shoulders of a hypothesis

that is literally impossible to prove.

- Demon Jizz, try some today.

- Demon Jizz, try some today.

- I appreciate the offer.

- We'll politely decline, thank you.

- We'll politely decline, thank you.

- Oh my effing G, did you see the Kardashians last night?

- Oh my effing G, did you see the Kardashians last night?

- Yes! Kim was acting like an effing bitch.

- What are we doing?

- I don't know.

- You have a PhD.

- Yup.

- Yup.

[electronic music]

- I'm so excited and committed.

- I'm so excited and committed.

I'll do literally anything

to become a healthier version of me.

- That's awesome.

- That's awesome.

Okay, so the last thing we need for you to do is just jump

on the scales, and we'll get your weight.

on the scales, and we'll get your weight.

[dramatic sound effect]

[dramatic sound effect]

[electronic music]

[electronics beeping]

[electronics beeping]

[eerie music]

- This is Commander Shepard. It is May 23, 2020, Day 1089.

- This is Commander Shepard. It is May 23, 2020, Day 1089.

- This is Commander Shepard. It is May 23, 2020, Day 1089.

I uh, I'm on the last of my food rations

and I've been surviving on less than 500 calories per day.

and I've been surviving on less than 500 calories per day.

I have lost a significant amount of weight

I have lost a significant amount of weight

over the past few months, but my health condition is stable.

over the past few months, but my health condition is stable.

Uh, at 1400 hours today attached by tether,

Uh, at 1400 hours today attached by tether,

I left Venus landing to retrieve a package from NASA,

I left Venus landing to retrieve a package from NASA,

a package sent to help me, to help me survive.

a package sent to help me, to help me survive.

a package sent to help me, to help me survive.

[paper crinkling]

[paper crinkling]

[Commander laughs]

Sort of a joke gift, um, sort of a guilty pleasure of mine

Sort of a joke gift, um, sort of a guilty pleasure of mine

back home. You guys are funny, you guys are funny.

back home. You guys are funny, you guys are funny.

That's actually a pretty sad one to send,

divorced Julia Roberts.

[Commander laughs]

[Commander laughs]

It's another joke gift.

It's another joke gift.

That's a lot of space to take up in the package

with that joke gift.

with that joke gift.

Mascara? It's [beep] mascara.

Mascara? It's [beep] mascara.

A scented candle, I don't-

A scented candle, I don't-

Why do you think I'm gonna fucking light a goddamn fire

Why do you think I'm gonna fucking light a goddamn fire

in space?!

It's peach flavored and you didn't even send food.

It's peach flavored and you didn't even send food.

You sent a flavored candle.

Mixtapes! Mixed, mixtapes!

Mixtapes! Mixed, mixtapes!

♪ Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ♪

♪ Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ♪

[commander laughing]

[commander laughing]

It's actually funny, it's actually funny.

Well 'cause it's funny 'cause you've left me

Well 'cause it's funny 'cause you've left me

out here to die with mixtapes and scented candles,

out here to die with mixtapes and scented candles,

and that is funny isn't it?

and that is funny isn't it?

Crepe paper, that's just crepe paper.

Cellophane, and that's just-, that's good.

Cellophane, and that's just-, that's good.

That's no-, that's it, that's it. That's all.

That's no-, that's it, that's it. That's all.

Oh my god, I'm gonna die up here.

♪ Like a virgin, touched for the very first time ♪

♪ Like a virgin, touched for the very first time ♪

♪ Like a virgin ♪

[hip-hop beat]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[hip-hop beat]

♪ Funny girls ♪

[woman laughing]

[woman laughing]

[person knocking on door]

- Yoohoo Pauline,

we couldn't have a quick chin wag could we?

we couldn't have a quick chin wag could we?

Allies to woman?

- Allies? You in the army?

- Allies? You in the army?

- [man laughs] No.

Unless you consider the United Supporters of Women's Rights

Unless you consider the United Supporters of Women's Rights

an army, which I do, so yes.

- Pauline we wanna talk with you about your relationship.

- My relationship? With my mother?

- My relationship? With my mother?

Yep sure, strap in boys. It's gonna get pretty dark,

pretty quickly. [Pauline chuckles]

pretty quickly. [Pauline chuckles]

- No, we're talking about your relationship

with that IT guy, Greg.

with that IT guy, Greg.

- Gary.

- My name's Joseph.

- We're worried about you and Greg.

- We're worried about you and Greg.

Now stop us if this is not our place.

- Yeah, I don't think it's your place.

- Yeah, I don't think it's your place.

- We just don't feel it's very feminist

to be sidelining your career for love.

to be sidelining your career for love.

- What are you talking about?

- Allow me to mansplain.

- Allow me to mansplain.

Uh, sure, you could get married, have three babies,

Uh, sure, you could get married, have three babies,

and one of those large cats.

and one of those large cats.

- I think he means a dog, Pauline.

- Yeah, I do. A dog.

That's what the patriarchy want you to do.

That's what the patriarchy want you to do.

You wanna forget about all that and focus on your career,

You wanna forget about all that and focus on your career,

and help achieve equality for all of us women.

and help achieve equality for all of us women.

- Us women?

- Aw, sorry, I just got swept up in it for a bit [chuckles].

- Aw, sorry, I just got swept up in it for a bit [chuckles].

- You've worked your whole life

to get where you are, Pauline.

to get where you are, Pauline.

Do you really wanna just throw it all away

for some cute guy?

for some cute guy?

It's time to make a decision.

It's one or the other.

It's one or the other.

- Yeah, okay. I'll think about it.

- Come on, Pauline! Ditch the zero, and get with the heroes.

- Come on, Pauline! Ditch the zero, and get with the heroes.

The heroes being working women.

The heroes being working women.

- Okay I can do that.

- Wonderful.

- Wonderful.

Now, here is a list of all the ideas

we pitched to the girls that they shot down,

so if you could just go over their heads

so if you could just go over their heads

and approve that for us, that would be wonderful.

Thanks. Ta ta.

Thanks. Ta ta.

- [Consultant] Fantastic, love your work P!

- [Consultant 2] Bye bye!

[consultant chuckles]

[consultant chuckles]

- Thank you.

[door thuds]

[door thuds]

Did you get all that?

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

[woman snoring]

[woman snoring]

[woman snorts]

[woman snorts]

[woman sighs]

[gentle music]

[gentle music]

[dramatic sound effect]

[dramatic sound effect]

- Phew.

[gentle music]

[gentle music]

Morning Beautiful.

[woman snoring]

[woman snoring]

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

[electronics beeping]

["The Blue Danube" plays]

["The Blue Danube" plays]

- What is that?

La la la la la la la.

[Commander laughs]

[Commander laughs]

♪ It's tricky to rock around, to rock around ♪

♪ It's tricky to rock around, to rock around ♪

["The Blue Danube" continues]

["The Blue Danube" continues]

Please don't go, I don't wanna get divorced.

Please don't go, I don't wanna get divorced.

♪ I just called to say ♪

♪ I just called to say ♪

Then tell me you didn't [Beep] her.

Then tell me you didn't [Beep] her.

Who? Who?

This [Beep] right here! This [Beep] right here!

This [Beep] right here! This [Beep] right here!

Tell me you didn't [Beep] her! All right?

Tell me you didn't [Beep] her! All right?

'Cause I smelt wax on you

from the moment you walked in here.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

[electronic music]

[electronic music]

- Pauline, Pauline.

- Pauline, Pauline.

Oh, Pauline, Pauline, Pauline.

Oh, Pauline, Pauline, Pauline.

You've gotta tell those idiot men

that we are not gonna have a man in drag

that we are not gonna have a man in drag

on our show just because he's extremely popular

and it would boost our ratings.

and it would boost our ratings.

Okay, it doesn't sound that bad

when I say it like that, but trust me! It is bad.

- Yeah, you have to tell them

- Yeah, you have to tell them

that they can't choose what we're gonna wear.

They can't choose who's gonna be in our show,

They can't choose who's gonna be in our show,

and we're not gonna be endorsing this! Okay?

I searched this on Google

I searched this on Google

and it is banned in 15 countries, Pauline.

and it is banned in 15 countries, Pauline.

Also I saw some pretty shocking Google image results.

- Pauline, we just think Gary's been taking up a lot

- Pauline, we just think Gary's been taking up a lot

of your time lately.

Do you think maybe you're moving a little too fast?

Do you think maybe you're moving a little too fast?

- Yeah, maybe you should just slow things down,

at least until you sort out our problems.

at least until you sort out our problems.

- [Laura] God damn it Rose.

- [Rose] What? That was subtle as [Beep].

- [Rose] What? That was subtle as [Beep].

- You know, you two sound just like them.

- What? Like who?

- What? Like who?

- Pauline, please don't have a social life.

Pauline, dump your boyfriend.

Pauline, please fix our problems.

Pauline, please fix our problems.

Pauline, go out and buy a leather cap.

Well fine, I've done it all.

Well fine, I've done it all.

- You broke up with Gary?

- Who told you to do the last one?

- Who told you to do the last one?

- No, we didn't mean it like that.

- Well it's too late, I've done it!

- Well it's too late, I've done it!

- Well, how's Gary taking it?

- You tell me.

Now I hope you two are happy.

[engine starts]

[engine starts]

- Whose willy is this? Is it-

- Whose willy is this? Is it-

Whoa, whoa whoa.

Hey, hey, hey don't. Don't, aww don't, come on.

Hey, hey, hey don't. Don't, aww don't, come on.

You got a spare dick?

God damn it.

These are expensive mate.

They don't bloody grow on trees, god damn it.

I got a dusty cock again.

I got a dusty cock again.

[Mrs. Pumpernickel sighs]

[Mrs. Pumpernickel sighs]

Tony you got the wet wipe?

[jazzy music]

[jazzy music]

[END CREDITS]

[END CREDITS]

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