Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- Well, first off, I just want to say

- Well, first off, I just want to say

I'm super excited about this.

I think the show is going to be amazing.

I think the show is going to be amazing.

Um, I just,

I'm kind of just worried about the name, "Funny girls".

I'm kind of just worried about the name, "Funny girls".

It just seems like it maybe was thought up by a man.

It just seems like it maybe was thought up by a man.

[the man taps fingers]

And I know you guys worked really hard on these ideas.

And I know you guys worked really hard on these ideas.

[Man One chuckles]

- Hard on.

- Hard on.

- Speak up.

- I just, I think we could do a bit better.

- I just, I think we could do a bit better.

- Okay, that's no problem Rose.

We're really not locked into that idea at all.

We're really not locked into that idea at all.

[Rose chuckles]

- Okay, great, fantastic.

- How about, "Girls aren't funny"?

- How about, "Girls aren't funny"?

- How about, "Girls aren't funny"?

- Hey, come on man. That's not on.

I think what he meant to say is, "Women aren't funny".

I think what he meant to say is, "Women aren't funny".

- And that's not, we're perpetuating

- And that's not, we're perpetuating

the stereotype that isn't true.

the stereotype that isn't true.

- That's why it's funny.

- It's like prove us wrong and if you don't,

- It's like prove us wrong and if you don't,

it's still there in the name.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's just, I'm not, I'm not sold.

It's just, I'm not, I'm not sold.

- How about "Ladies having a crack"?

- How about "Ladies having a crack"?

[the man snaps fingers]

- Oh, "Comedy from the kitchen",

- Oh, "Comedy from the kitchen",

but comedy is spelled with a K because of cleverness?

- That's not clever.

- "Turn off men"?

- Now what I like about this one,

- Now what I like about this one,

is it sort of tells the men at home what to do.

is it sort of tells the men at home what to do.

- What to turn off?

- How about "Tit time"?

[men laughing]

- What? He doesn't even work here.

- What? He doesn't even work here.

- Do you want a job, sir?

- Sure.

[man snaps fingers]

[man snaps fingers]

- "Fallopian tubes".

- "Top-Less twins".

- "Top-Less twins".

- "Boobies boobies ha ha ha".

Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!

Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!

- No! That's [Beeping] terrible! Not good.

- No! That's [Beeping] terrible! Not good.

These are all bad.

These are all bad.

- Now Rose, we spent a lot of time on these ideas, okay.

- Now Rose, we spent a lot of time on these ideas, okay.

And I'm very sorry if we don't know "what women want".

And I'm very sorry if we don't know "what women want".

Hey?

- That's already, that's already a film,

- That's already, that's already a film,

starring a very racist man.

starring a very racist man.

Do you see, do you watch things or?

- Well fine, but you're only giving us negative feedback

- Well fine, but you're only giving us negative feedback

and quite frankly, you're hurting our feelings.

and quite frankly, you're hurting our feelings.

- Fine, "Funny girls" is great.

- Fine, "Funny girls" is great.

It's great.

Let's stick with it.

- Unless,

"Twats new pussycat".

"Twats new pussycat".

- Boom.

- You're all just [Beep].

You're all just bloody [Beep].

You're all just bloody [Beep].

[tense upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

- [Narrator] This is E5 Yoga.

- [Narrator] This is E5 Yoga.

Getting you all the exclusive interviews,

Hosts today's 12:10 pm expert class.

Hosts today's 12:10 pm expert class.

Coming up, we catch up

Coming up, we catch up

with the next big thing in yoga, Brianna.

But first, let's check out the highlights.

But first, let's check out the highlights.

The bodies were limber

but the tension was high as both muscles

but the tension was high as both muscles

and tempers were stretched to their limits

and tempers were stretched to their limits

and the class was shaken to its strengthened core

and the class was shaken to its strengthened core

by an unforced error from Carol

when she fell out of her tree.

when she fell out of her tree.

- Yes, Carol fell out of tree pose.

I don't know if Brianna was psyching her out or what it was.

I don't know if Brianna was psyching her out or what it was.

I have spoken to her though, and she's in good spirits.

I have spoken to her though, and she's in good spirits.

She's ready to smash a cacao smoothie

and hit it again tomorrow.

and hit it again tomorrow.

- Yeah, obviously a little bit disappointing

falling out of tree pose today.

falling out of tree pose today.

But I think I totally just rolled out of it

and turned it into interpretive dance.

and turned it into interpretive dance.

And I know that Brianna is good,

but she hasn't really got anything on me.

but she hasn't really got anything on me.

I mean, come on, downward dog on point

and warrior pose for all the players.

and warrior pose for all the players.

Yes, I'm about to go to brunch with the girls

Yes, I'm about to go to brunch with the girls

and luckily I'm already dressed for it.

and luckily I'm already dressed for it.

So I'll see you guys later.

- [Reporter] Carol can you answer

just one more question please?

just one more question please?

- [Narrator] Now in our Poser Profile,

brought to you by wheat grass.

We look at young up and comer Big Dee

We look at young up and comer Big Dee

who's be making a big impact on the yoga mat.

who's be making a big impact on the yoga mat.

- [Reporter] You've been called the rising star

of Tina's class this year.

of Tina's class this year.

How are you handling the pressure?

- Look, I've always said,

I'm not here for the accolades.

I'm just here to work on my anger management.

I'm just here to work on my anger management.

- [Narrator] And while Dee has shown some

unorthodox raw aggression in the class,

unorthodox raw aggression in the class,

many attribute her success

to the possible use of performance enhancers.

to the possible use of performance enhancers.

- [Reporter] Now Big Dee, any response to the allegations

that you've been using crystals to strengthen your Chakras.

that you've been using crystals to strengthen your Chakras.

- That is bullsh*t!

- That is bullsh*t!

- [Narrator] And Dee wasn't the only one

causing controversy in the class today,

causing controversy in the class today,

as Brianna had a shocking announcement.

- Oh, look, I don't want to disappoint any fans.

- Oh, look, I don't want to disappoint any fans.

And I know this is hard to hear,

but I will not be attending class next week.

but I will not be attending class next week.

Apparently I have to be a leader at my daughter's

Apparently I have to be a leader at my daughter's

drama camp, but believe me, I'll be back.

All right, I'm here to stay and I'm here to play.

All right, I'm here to stay and I'm here to play.

Alright, namaste.

Alright, namaste.

Oh and Carol, watch your [Beep] back.

- Brianna won't be taking anymore questions today.

- Brianna won't be taking anymore questions today.

- [Narrator] E5 Yoga your guru for all things yoga,

- [Narrator] E5 Yoga your guru for all things yoga,

namaste!

namaste!

[ball bouncing]

[ball bouncing]

- So make sure you watch funny girls on TV three.

- So make sure you watch funny girls on TV three.

[rooster toy croaks]

[pink toy makes fart noise]

[mic smashing the head]

[mic smashing the head]

- Aww

[alarm ringing]

God, what did you do that for?

God, what did you do that for?

- Oh, my arms got tired.

- Hey, what does this look like?

Because it kind of seems stupid.

Because it kind of seems stupid.

- I wasn't watching. Sorry.

- You're the camera guy.

- Yeah, and the camera was on.

- Yeah, and the camera was on.

Wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

Yes, it was.

- Hilarious, I'm blown away.

- Hilarious, I'm blown away.

Hi Rose. I'm Pauline.

I'm your producer. You must be Lauren.

- Laura.

- Laura.

- Fantastic.

- You know, it's nice to meet you actually.

- You know, it's nice to meet you actually.

I'm so, so happy we've got a woman producing this show,

especially all those male execs upstairs, just, you know.

especially all those male execs upstairs, just, you know.

- Oh tell me about it.

And I assume you've met my daughter, Cassie?

And I assume you've met my daughter, Cassie?

- Oh, this is your daughter?

- Yeah. Yeah,

she gets to spend more time with her mum

she gets to spend more time with her mum

and I don't have to pay her.

So it's a win-win situation. Isn't it, honey?

So it's a win-win situation. Isn't it, honey?

- [Beep] you.

- Do you not think we should possibly

hire, like, a professional sound recorder?

hire, like, a professional sound recorder?

- Oh no, no, no. I mean, well with computers these days,

you know, they're so modern.

you know, they're so modern.

We'll probably do most of this just later on

in the post production part of the project.

in the post production part of the project.

We do everything on computers these days.

In fact, take a look at this.

In fact, take a look at this.

Sorry,

[both speaking indistinctly]

[both speaking indistinctly]

- There you go, you got it.

- There you go, you got it.

So we've just knocked up a couple of poster ideas.

- Where did you get that photo? Is that off my phone?

- Where did you get that photo? Is that off my phone?

- I don't think so.

- And I thought we're changing the name,

- And I thought we're changing the name,

"Girl aren't funny". It's not that anymore,

it's "Funny girls".

- Yeah no, the designers just haven't had time to do that.

- He had the time to add the word "definitely".

- He had the time to add the word "definitely".

- That's true.

- That's true.

Okay. I don't want to break the flow.

You guys are going great. Have a good one.

You guys are going great. Have a good one.

Ciao.

- [Rose] Bye.

- Where's the sound chick?

- Where's the sound chick?

- What?

Cassie.

Cassie.

Oh, God, you get what you pay for I guess, don't you?

Oh, God, you get what you pay for I guess, don't you?

Cassie!

[tense upbeat music]

[tense upbeat music]

- So I said, I'm sorry that you got a baby love,

- So I said, I'm sorry that you got a baby love,

but there are only two seats

in this dental clinic waiting room

and I need one of them for my laptop bag.

and I need one of them for my laptop bag.

[man laughs]

- You bad man.

- You bad man.

- Okay, I need to go to the little girl's room.

- Okay, I need to go to the little girl's room.

- Oh well, I'll go with you.

- Why do they always go in pairs?

- Who?

- Who?

- Here you go.

- Oh thanks.

- Oh thanks.

Okay, shall we?

- After you.

- After you.

[squash ball bouncing]

[squash ball bouncing]

- Sorry. We took so long.

- You know us girls.

- You know us girls.

- What are those?

- Something to do with periods.

- Something to do with periods.

- Oh Jesus Christ! On the table?

- Oh Jesus Christ! On the table?

- TMI

- Have a little decorum ladies.

[tense upbeat music]

[tense upbeat music]

- I love career girl.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

♪ Hey hey career girl ♪

- [Narrator] It's the game that teaches girls

- [Narrator] It's the game that teaches girls

they can be anything they want.

they can be anything they want.

- I got an interview for that copywriting job.

- My boss, values me for my work and not what I look like.

- My boss, values me for my work and not what I look like.

- [Narrator] But watch out girls it's not all fun and games.

- [Narrator] But watch out girls it's not all fun and games.

Career girl is a race against time.

Career girl is a race against time.

- We've got to get everything done

before our body clocks go off.

before our body clocks go off.

[alarm clock rings]

[alarm clock rings]

- What the hell?

[music continues]

♪ Hey hey career girl ♪

♪ Hey hey career girl ♪

- Oh no, I just had six kids. What is this?

- Oh no, I just had six kids. What is this?

- [Narrator] The womb wants what the womb wants girl,

- [Narrator] The womb wants what the womb wants girl,

so keep playing maybe it will get easier.

- The government shortened the length of maternity leave.

- The government shortened the length of maternity leave.

- [Narrator] Just kidding girls, it definitely won't.

- [Narrator] Just kidding girls, it definitely won't.

- The power bill has gone up and it was due yesterday.

- The power bill has gone up and it was due yesterday.

- I just won a journalism prize,

- I just won a journalism prize,

but my husband is intimidated by my success.

but my husband is intimidated by my success.

[music continues]

♪ Hey hey career girl ♪

♪ Hey hey career girl ♪

- [Narrator] You go career girl.

- Hey, what's he playing over there?

- Hey, what's he playing over there?

- [Narrator] he's playing career boy,

the game he just can't lose.

- Yes! I win again.

- Yes! I win again.

- Can we play that game too?

- [Narrator] Of course you can't,

- [Narrator] Of course you can't,

now sit back down and take what you're given.

now sit back down and take what you're given.

Career girl, the game and tells girls they can be anything.

Career girl, the game and tells girls they can be anything.

♪ Hey hey, you're a career girl. ♪

♪ Hey hey, you're a career girl. ♪

For a little time at least.

[tense upbeat music]

[tense upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[tense upbeat music]

[tense upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[intense music]

[intense music]

- Hi there, are you here for the comedy show?

- Hi there, are you here for the comedy show?

- Yes.

- Oh, that is so great, I love laughing.

Sometimes I laugh so much,

Sometimes I laugh so much,

that I laugh actually at nothing at all.

You know that really funny car commercial?

You know that really funny car commercial?

That one that's new?

- Mmh no, I don't.

I can't remember a thing about it either,

I can't remember a thing about it either,

but it is so funny.

[woman laughs out loud]

[woman laughs out loud]

[Rose laughs awkwardly]

[Rose laughs awkwardly]

- So what were you thinking today?

- Um, just a , it's just a really natural look.

- Um, just a , it's just a really natural look.

I just, you know, normal.

- And so are you thinking more of the cat or the tiger?

- And so are you thinking more of the cat or the tiger?

- Sorry, what?

I-

I-

- Hm. I think you're right, I think a tiger.

The kids are like," oh I wanna be a cat",

The kids are like," oh I wanna be a cat",

but actually a tiger is a bit cat, let's be honest.

- Hang on, are you a face painter?

- Hang on, are you a face painter?

- Yeah! Did the fairy wings not give me away?

- Yeah! Did the fairy wings not give me away?

- Well yeah, that was a bit weird when I walked in.

- Well yeah, that was a bit weird when I walked in.

Um, I don't think that this is

the right thing that we're doing.

the right thing that we're doing.

I think I might have to have a chat with the producer.

I think I might have to have a chat with the producer.

- Oh, my ears are burning. Hey Rose.

Great. You've met Jasmine best in the business.

What are you thinking the cat or the tiger?

What are you thinking the cat or the tiger?

- Actually for this job, I was thinking of the tiger, but,

but, but a majestic tiger.

but, but a majestic tiger.

- I'm thinking more of like a human being sort of.

- I'm thinking more of like a human being sort of.

Maybe, can we do a human?

- Well, I can't do humans.

- I don't wanna be like a diva or anything.

- I don't wanna be like a diva or anything.

I just think that maybe this isn't like,

I shouldn't be a tiger for the next sketch because it

I shouldn't be a tiger for the next sketch because it

doesn't make sense.

- Okay, I'm hearing you but when I'm looking at you

- Okay, I'm hearing you but when I'm looking at you

and we're working in a visual medium,

I am seeing fierce, bold, and extremely cheap.

I am seeing fierce, bold, and extremely cheap.

- Cheap?

- Chic, extremely chic.

- Chic, extremely chic.

I've got to get back to my computer.

I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of Jasmine.

I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of Jasmine.

So chin up, Keep working. Ciao, ciao.

So chin up, Keep working. Ciao, ciao.

- I don't think this is a-

- Don't tell her but what she doesn't know

- Don't tell her but what she doesn't know

is that I don't have capable hands.

They're actually riddled with arthritis

They're actually riddled with arthritis

and I can't feel my pinky finger.

Sometimes the feeling comes back at one,

Sometimes the feeling comes back at one,

but it could be a phantom feeling.

but it could be a phantom feeling.

- My God.

[tense upbeat music]

- Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

- Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

- Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

[leaves shaking]

[leaves shaking]

- Juliet!

I cannot bear to be apart from thee for another second.

If only I could kiss thee all day.

- If only a kiss could last a lifetime.

- If only a kiss could last a lifetime.

- If only a kiss could last beyond a lifetime

and our rotten corpses could kiss forever.

and our rotten corpses could kiss forever.

- Mmh, mmh.

- At last, my parents forbade us from seeing each other.

- At last, my parents forbade us from seeing each other.

- FY, FY, a vow I make right here and now,

- FY, FY, a vow I make right here and now,

together we must stay in at any cost.

together we must stay in at any cost.

I have devised a plan which would

find a way for us to stay together.

find a way for us to stay together.

- Sweet Romeo tell me and with haste.

- First, you must drink this poison.

- First, you must drink this poison.

- Sorry what?

And then after you've drank the poison,

I will drink the poison.

I will drink the poison.

And then our souls will be intertwined forever.

- Um, poi, poison?

- Um, poi, poison?

- Yes.

So you drink the poison and then after you drink the poison,

I drink the poison.

I drink the poison.

- No, no, no, I get the plan.

I just, I, where did you even get poison from?

I just, I, where did you even get poison from?

- What does it matter what unsanitary winch

I purchased this vile from?

I purchased this vile from?

All that matters is us.

All that matters is us.

So all you gotta do is have a little sip

and just down the hatch just-

and just down the hatch just-

- No stop. That's all right,

I got a few questions with the plan.

I got a few questions with the plan.

Why do I have to drink the poison

Why do I have to drink the poison

before you drink the poison?

- Because you are my greatest love.

- Because you are my greatest love.

And so you deserve the great reward sooner.

- Dude we're 14.

- But you have the bosom of a woman of a much greater age.

- But you have the bosom of a woman of a much greater age.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

I'll take that as a compliment, but I don't know,

maybe, maybe we're rushing things a bit.

maybe, maybe we're rushing things a bit.

We're just so young, you know,

we haven't even been to third base yet.

we haven't even been to third base yet.

- What is third base?

- Sort of just like mouth to genital stuff. You know?

- Sort of just like mouth to genital stuff. You know?

I don't know, maybe we're just jumping the gun a bit.

I don't know, maybe we're just jumping the gun a bit.

- No, not a gun, Poison.

- The more you say poison, right?

- The more you say poison, right?

The less keen I am on the idea. You know what I mean?

How about new plan? Steal some of my dad's wine,

How about new plan? Steal some of my dad's wine,

get a bit tipsy, little hand job for you, little treat,

get a bit tipsy, little hand job for you, little treat,

you toddle off home, and we both continue living.

you toddle off home, and we both continue living.

- Please. Sweet Juliet.

- Please. Sweet Juliet.

Just a little sip. Just a-

- No you know what? You know what?

- No you know what? You know what?

You do this all the time.

We make plans together and you always bail. Okay?

We make plans together and you always bail. Okay?

What if I do it and you freak out and you don't do it?

- Well then, I will think of you every day.

- Well then, I will think of you every day.

- No.

No, Okay.

We're not doing this. All right?

I thought we were crazy and passionate,

I thought we were crazy and passionate,

but now I'm just sort of realizing you

might just be crazy,

might just be crazy,

legit crazy.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You should probably go.

- If the fair lady demands it.

- If the fair lady demands it.

- No.

- Dost thou remember saying anything about a hand job?

- Dost thou remember saying anything about a hand job?

- Get out.

- Get out.

- Okay, no, all right.

[ upbeat music]

[ upbeat music]

- Are you not even gonna try and make conversation.

- Are you not even gonna try and make conversation.

- What would you like to ask Jeeves?

- What would you like to ask Jeeves?

- Nothing.

- Nothing.

How about you ask me something for once Jeeves.

Like, "how was your day?", Or

Like, "how was your day?", Or

"when was the last time you reached climax in the bedroom?"?

"when was the last time you reached climax in the bedroom?"?

- There are no results for that particular question.

- There are no results for that particular question.

- Yeah, no [Beep] sh*t.

[intense music]

[intense music]

- Created by Doug Ellen.

- Created by Doug Ellen.

And that was the entire plot to

And that was the entire plot to

all seven seasons of entourage and the entourage movie.

all seven seasons of entourage and the entourage movie.

- I need to go to the little girl's room.

- When you're back, We'll get started on "The blacklist".

- When you're back, We'll get started on "The blacklist".

- Can't wait. I'll come with you.

- Can't wait. I'll come with you.

- I love "The blacklist", your favorite episode?

- Um, the first one.

- Um, the first one.

- Oh yeah.

[woman gags]

- Ooh, I need to cull him.

- Ooh, I need to cull him.

- Yep, don't breed with that. Okay come on.

- Yep, don't breed with that. Okay come on.

- [Lady] Welcome everybody to the secret lady UN.

- [Lady] Welcome everybody to the secret lady UN.

Directly located under the normal UN. I don't know why

Directly located under the normal UN. I don't know why

I always tell you this since you all know.

- Sorry we're late everyone.

- Sorry we're late everyone.

So where did everyone come from today?

- Oh, I came from the dunny at a Hungry Jacks in Melbourne.

- Oh, I came from the dunny at a Hungry Jacks in Melbourne.

- I came in through the bathroom in

- I came in through the bathroom in

the ice hockey stadium in Toronto. Go maple leafs!

- The restroom in the statue of Liberty.

- The restroom in the statue of Liberty.

- Oh, wow. Is that in the-

- Yes, that is the one that is located in the butt.

- Yes, that is the one that is located in the butt.

- Now we have a lot to cover today, ladies.

- Now we have a lot to cover today, ladies.

First up reaching a comprehensive settlement

to the Cypress issue.

to the Cypress issue.

- Oh, actually just before we start,

does anyone have a pen I could borrow.

does anyone have a pen I could borrow.

- Oh yeah.

[women looking through their bags]

[women looking through their bags]

[women looking through their bags]

[intense music]

- Oh, it has been a long three days,

- Oh, it has been a long three days,

but we reached a settlement everyone will be happy with.

but we reached a settlement everyone will be happy with.

[women clapping]

[women clapping]

hi, have you guys just been sitting here

for the last three days?

for the last three days?

- Yeah. Can we start eating now?

- Yes you can.

- Yes you can.

- Oh, thanks.

Hey the UN solved that Cypress thing.

- Goes over my head.

- Goes over my head.

[tense upbeat music]

[tense upbeat music]

♪ Funny girls ♪

♪ Funny girls ♪

[melodic music]

[melodic music]

- What the hell?

- Wow, what sort of cat are you supposed to be?

- Wow, what sort of cat are you supposed to be?

- I mean it's just supposed to be

more of like a majestic tiger, thing.

more of like a majestic tiger, thing.

- Right. Snack time, Hey?

- Right. Snack time, Hey?

- It would be, if our cheap skate producer,

hadn't replaced all of the food with fake cut-outs of food.

hadn't replaced all of the food with fake cut-outs of food.

hadn't replaced all of the food with fake cut-outs of food.

- Oh dear.

I don't want to be a bitch or anything. Right?

But I think it's really important to have

But I think it's really important to have

a producer that really supports you. Right?

This is a show about how women can do whatever they want.

This is a show about how women can do whatever they want.

Right? And-

- Do you want some help there?

- Do you want some help there?

- No, it's fine.

- Okay.

You might just have slippery hands. I've got very dry hands.

You might just have slippery hands. I've got very dry hands.

It's good for jar opening.

- Look, I don't need you to help me open the jam.

- Look, I don't need you to help me open the jam.

Okay? Because I'm a strong, confident,

Okay? Because I'm a strong, confident,

independent woman who can make her own decisions.

independent woman who can make her own decisions.

- Are we still talking about the jam

or is the jam now a metaphor.

or is the jam now a metaphor.

- It's the jam!

[jam smashes on the floor]

[jam smashes on the floor]

- Delicious. It's got glass on it,

- Delicious. It's got glass on it,

so I'm not gonna eat this one.

so I'm not gonna eat this one.

[alarm rings]

[ intense upbeat music]

[ intense upbeat music]

[women laughing]

- And so we were going to the movies

- And so we were going to the movies

and Ron was going to leave the house in track pants.

- Oh my God, so annoying!

- Oh my God, so annoying!

- Well, Adam always uses my expensive moisturizer.

- Well, Adam always uses my expensive moisturizer.

It's so annoying.

- Oh, I mean, tell me about it.

And Alex keeps going on these long working weekends,

And Alex keeps going on these long working weekends,

and I'm mot allowed to go with them.

and I'm mot allowed to go with them.

So we never spend time together anymore.

- Ryan's going to have all his mates over

- Ryan's going to have all his mates over

for the game tonight and they're going to be in the lounge.

they're going to be so loud. I'm like,

"can you just go somewhere else?"

"can you just go somewhere else?"

- I hate men, I give up.

- Me too, I mean well, Alex didn't even tell me about

- Me too, I mean well, Alex didn't even tell me about

his second cellphone, and I'm like,

"wait you won't let me have

"wait you won't let me have

an iPad but you get to have two phones?",

like that's not fair. That's so annoying.

like that's not fair. That's so annoying.

- Yeah

- And Don't get me started on the toilet seat though.

- And Don't get me started on the toilet seat though.

Am I right?

- And having me wear deodorant.

- And When you see the bank statements and they've

bought all this expensive jewelry,

but they've never given it to you. I'm like,

but they've never given it to you. I'm like,

" where are you hiding it?". Or, or,

" where are you hiding it?". Or, or,

how they're always giving their friend, Sarah from work,

how they're always giving their friend, Sarah from work,

friendship kisses.

- Friendsh-

- My boyfriend is totally cheating on me, hey?

- My boyfriend is totally cheating on me, hey?

- Yep, yeah he is

- 100%

- 100%

[upbeat music]

- So that's why, ever since I saw the movie,

- So that's why, ever since I saw the movie,

I've had camera's set up all around the bedroom, 24/7,

I've had camera's set up all around the bedroom, 24/7,

there'll be no toys coming to life in my house.

there'll be no toys coming to life in my house.

- You do know that movie's not real, hey?

- You do know that movie's not real, hey?

- Sorry, you've had video cameras in our bedroom?

- Sorry, you've had video cameras in our bedroom?

- And don't worry Love. I record all the sex.

- Yeah, that's what I am worried about.

- Yeah, that's what I am worried about.

- I said, don't worry.

- Right, Well we're going to go piss again.

- Right, Well we're going to go piss again.

- I believe that about toys too.

I'm so worked up!

Do you think he's going to upload that stuff?

Do you think he's going to upload that stuff?

- Nah, not with a Dick that size.

- Oh yeah. Good point.

- Oh yeah. Good point.

You ready?

You ready?

- Let's roll.

Sorry.

- Oops, yes.

- Oops, yes.

- You ready? You ready? Lets [Beep] dominate, yeah!

- You ready? You ready? Lets [Beep] dominate, yeah!

[ gun shots]

Delta, Charlie, Tango, the fox is in the hen now,

Delta, Charlie, Tango, the fox is in the hen now,

take her before this group of khakis wins her.

- Watch out.

- Watch out.

[grenade explodes]

come on lets get out of here.

come on lets get out of here.

[explosion and gunfire]

[explosion and gunfire]

[door smashing]

[gunfire continues]

[gunfire continues]

- Delta, Charlie, we have the president's daughter

- Delta, Charlie, we have the president's daughter

and we're moving to the evac point.

Come on sweetheart.

Come on sweetheart.

[mood music]

[explosion]

[explosion]

come on, I'm not leaving you.

come on, I'm not leaving you.

- If you stay here and we both get killed,

then our sacrifice means nothing.

then our sacrifice means nothing.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

You take the president's daughter.

You take the president's daughter.

You get the hell out of this sh*t hole

and you live a life for both of us. You promise?

and you live a life for both of us. You promise?

- No.

- No.

- Promise me. Promise me!

- I promise, I promise.

- I promise, I promise.

[toilet flushing]

- Okay, off you go. Go on.

Well, hey boys. Oh, how about some dessert?

Well, hey boys. Oh, how about some dessert?

- Is that the president's daughter?

- Is that the president's daughter?

- Is it? I don't know.

- Where's Laura?

- Where's Laura?

- Probably taking a sh*t or something.

Ooh, this Sundae looks num-nums.

Ooh, this Sundae looks num-nums.

- I'm gonna use the bathroom.

- I'm gonna use the bathroom.

- Yeah, I think I'm gonna go a head with you.

- No you won't! Bathroom time is alone time.

- No you won't! Bathroom time is alone time.

- I know,

- I know,

my bad.

[door opens and shuts]

[door opens and shuts]

[marker cap coming off]

[marker sounds against the wall]

[marker sounds against the wall]

[marker sounds against the wall]

[uptempo music]

[uptempo music]

[uptempo music]

- Are you sure. You're okay?

- Are you sure. You're okay?

She hit you across the head

with the mic like 10 times.

- Yeah, yeah. I'm totally fine.

- Yeah, yeah. I'm totally fine.

See you tomorrow.

- It's Friday.

- Okay, well, I'll see you on Friday.

- Okay, well, I'll see you on Friday.

- Hey Rose, I've just been watching some of the sketches

- Hey Rose, I've just been watching some of the sketches

and I just want to say great job.

and I just want to say great job.

- Mmh did you like them?

- Personally, I prefer drama like "House of cards".

- Personally, I prefer drama like "House of cards".

Do you watch "House of cards"?

- I don't watch "House of cards" no.

- Well anyway, I just wanted to say sorry

- Well anyway, I just wanted to say sorry

I've been a bit all over the show.

I've been a bit all over the show.

I'm a bit new to the TV business.

I'm actually specialized in property management.

I'm actually specialized in property management.

I'm a property manager.

- How did you get this job?

- Oh, well it was a bit of a mix up.

- Oh, well it was a bit of a mix up.

Bit of a, bit of a prank really, but long story.

But look, the point is,

But look, the point is,

I really want to learn and I really want to help

you girls make a great show. Okay?

you girls make a great show. Okay?

So what I've done is I've fired my daughter.

Well, she quit and next week we're going to

Well, she quit and next week we're going to

record all of the sound and no more face paint. I promise.

And I know you don't like the title of the show.

And I know you don't like the title of the show.

So what I've done. So I went upstairs,

So what I've done. So I went upstairs,

I had a chat to the boys and we've got a new title.

I had a chat to the boys and we've got a new title.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Check it out.

I asked around and they said, this is the one you liked.

I asked around and they said, this is the one you liked.

I wouldn't have gone with it myself,

but Hey, I'm not the comedian.

but Hey, I'm not the comedian.

We're gonna kill it on the [Beep] merch. Great work.

See you tomorrow.

- Oh no.

That's . . .?

God!

God!

[soft music]

- [woman] Thank you New Zealand on air

for making me a career girl.

for making me a career girl.

No, seriously. Thank you so much.

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