Original subtitles

- Praise the Lord.

Are there any more testimonies in the room?

Praise the Lord, sister.

Now, tell us what God has done for you.

- I'm a backslider, y'all pray for me.

- Oh.

- See, I used to come home from school drunk.

- My God.

- Laying up with mens.

I was prosecuting, uh-uh,

giving oratorical sex with my mouth.

That means I was licking on men's balls,

is what I'm trying to say.

- That, that, that, let her.

- Okay, okay. - Let her finish.

- Well, finish on.

- Tell us how God has delivered you, baby.

- You mean delivered. - Delivered.

- Deliver. - Mm.

- That's all right.

- Take your time. - Deliver.

- One time, my tongue went numb.

- Hmm.

- For 30.2 minutes.

- Okay, get back to Jesus, baby.

- Walk to the woman. - Stick with him.

- Oh, but he delivered me.

- Amen. - God delivered me!

- Amen.

- Amen, don't suck or lick on nothing no more

unless I'm turning the pages of the Bible.

- Okay, all right, I appreciate ya, sister.

Go on, have a seat.

Delivered, you've been delivered, thank you.

Does anybody else in the church today have a...

a song?

Just a song.

[Pastor sighing]

[pages crinkling]

- I gave you a couple of assignments

at the church this past week

and I just wanna let you know

you did an amazing job.

- Oh, thank you. [chuckling]

- So much so I feel confident enough

to take a vacation this week.

- Vacation? - Mm-hmm.

- You literally just got back from vacation.

- Yeah, well, I got me a nice little week planned.

I'm going down to San Antonio.

We're gonna stay at the Courtyard Marriott

near the Riverwalk. - Okay.

- They got extra pillows. - Hey.

- Yeah, I'm gonna do it up.

- As you should.

- Hey, killer, now, come on.

- Okay. - Right here.

Come on, have a seat.

- The big chair. - Yeah, mm-hmm.

- Listen to me carefully.

This week, you gonna be in charge of everything,

that's including Sunday service.

- I get to preach?

- Yeah, you get to preach.

The attendance will be a little low

'cause I'm not gonna be there,

but don't let that distract you from doing the work of God.

You are the man of the house.

You are not to call me for any reason.

I'm on vacation. - Okay.

- If it get that bad, you take it to God.

If God can't handle it, you call 911.

Do not call me.

- Understood. - Any questions?

- No, and you know, I just want you

to have a great vacation.

San Antonio is actually on my bucket list of places to go.

San Antonio, then the Maldives and Bora Bora,

so I can't wait to be like you one day.

- See, I knew you understand.

Now,

I want you to remember this.

Don't call me.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Don't call you.

- Do not call me. - I won't let you down.

- You will not let me down.

- Hey guys, listen, I'm so excited to share with you.

I finally have the media department set up so you'll be able

to stream my message this Sunday, all the way from Lubbock.

I'm so excited to see you and I can't tell you.

I thank you so much.

It goes, God, you guys than everybody else.

See you Sunday.

Turn them notifications on.

All right, God bless y'all.

- Whew, to sleep in.

- Man, I can imagine.

Now, ain't you glad you don't have to go to church today?

- You know, it does feel good, I ain't gonna hold you.

- The biscuits and the mimosas can be communion.

- I don't think that's how that works.

- I think that's 100% how that works

because all the Bible says is this is my body

and this is my blood.

It doesn't explicitly say

what kind of wine and what kind of bread.

- So this is what a reprobated mind looks like.

[sister laughing]

Girl.

- Cheers to my big sister clearing $350,000 a year.

You broke host canovo.

[sister laughing] All right.

- I definitely expected a bump,

but then I have stock options

and equity and a bonus on top of that.

I cannot say that I expected such a big comp package.

- So when you gonna sell the house,

because you know you can move to Calabasas

with that kind of money.

- But I'm already 10 minutes away from you

and that's unheard of in LA.

I don't wanna be that far away from my sister.

- Oh, I'm so happy you said that

'cause I need you to watch Mikia for us on Thursday.

Look, me and Jason have an art installation

in Lamimert Park. - Do I get to answer?

- Do you want an adorable little baby out on the street

because if you do, let me know.

Just let me know.

There'll be a gorgeous, precious baby out on the street.

- Girl, I'm not gonna do that to her. [both laughing]

- Filling in for our pastor today.

Listen, we have a guest speaker.

Now, I'm gonna ask you for your patience today

as the interim pastor comes to the podium.

Mr. Carr.

- Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen, is that all right?

Come on, y'all put y'all hands together for God.

Yeah, come on, look at that.

Give an honor to God who's ahead of my life

to all of you here, the people online.

How many we got online, Brother Rodney?

- 8,000. - 8,000!

8,000 souls looking for the Word of God.

While I won't hold you guys right now, amen.

Turn with me in your bibles to the Book of Psalms 14:23.

The verse reads, "All hard work brings a profit,

but mere talk only leads to poverty."

Amen, today's message is actually about doing the work, huh,

verses talking about the work, huh?

People ask me all the time how I got such a large following.

- Had more people pass away in my family this year

than there are in this church.

- The answer is, I did the work.

I did the work.

Four and five videos a day, 30 videos a week, amen.

I had to crawl before I could walk.

See, some of y'all want to walk like me,

but you ain't ready to...

[building rumbling]

Huh?

Before you can walk.

[building rumbling]

- Amen.

- The Bible says, "Faith without works is dead."

So you're gonna have to

♪ Work, work, work, work, work

Amen.

Listen, some of you are at the end of your lives.

Where will you spend your overtime?

Are you sure that you're gonna see God in eternity?

If you are, fine.

But if not, won't you come.

Amen, the hour's far spent, won't you come.

♪ Won't you come

♪ Won't you come, won't you come, won't you come ♪

Amen, if you're scared, just lift your hands

and I'll come to you.

Amen, don't be afraid of it.

He won't bite ya.

Amen.

Okay, bye.

[mic rattling]

Oh, I love you so much.

Do you like how I preach?

Whew!

I ain't gonna let grand feast stop our love.

- Yo. What?

What are you in here doing?

- I'm eating ice cream by the scoopful, Rodney,

what does it look like?

- So, you wanna talk about service today?

- What is there to talk about?

I had the worst preaching episode of my life,

people were looking at me like they saw a ghost.

I've never been more embarrassed, ever.

- Well, online was different

'cause on your live, you killed it.

- What?

- Bro, look at your analytics.

Your engagement was crazy.

Look, Church Alive took some of your sermon

and put it on there.

- Wait, they loved it too?

- Bro, that Rihanna piece really hit.

I thought it was terrible, honestly, but you know,

who are me?

Man, Lubbock, Texas got some cheeks, bro.

- Yeah, it's all that cornbread and collard greens, man.

- Yeah, should I swipe left or swipe right?

- Which one is good?

- Thing is, she gonna have to come to your grandma house.

- The love of my life has died.

I found him in the bed dead.

- Oh, oh, my gosh.

Please, please have a seat, have a seat.

Terribly sorry to hear that.

But you know, that is top 10 ways to go,

you know, in your sleep.

It's one of the best ways.

- Nobody deserves to find their loved one dead in a bed.

- I mean, not deserves, not deserves,

but it's better than being burned alive in an office fire

or something like that, considering, you know.

- Where is the pastor?

- Oh, I'm Pastor Corey Carr.

Pastor Stinny's out for the week on vacation.

- Okay, well then you gonna have to bury him.

I need the funeral this week.

- Oh no, I feel like you probably wanna wait till next week

when Pastor Stinny's back, you know,

call the family from out of town and stuff.

Next week will be better for the church, Pastor Stinny-

- No, no, I can't wait.

He did not like being cold for long.

Okay, he wanted to be buried in three days.

It's the least I could do.

I have to respect his wish.

- Okay, okay.

- Take a tissue.

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Oh.

Okay, do you know what?

I hate to make you feel like I didn't care.

We'll definitely do it in three days,

respect your wishes and his wishes.

We got you. - Okay.

- Come on sister, it's all right.

He's just going up yonder.

That's all right.

I shall wear a crown, he shall wear a crown.

- Dawg.

I mean, I don't do dead bodies.

And honestly, who approved that?

I mean, we supposed to be celebrating the life of someone

and here goes a cold, defrosting,

decomposing dead body in the middle of the sanctuary.

- Bro, you've been to plenty of funerals.

- Been to and done are very different.

I didn't have to do nothing at those.

I just stayed in the back.

- Oh, look, maybe you should call your daddy

and see how he did it.

- Yeah, so he could be like,

"Burying a body online ain't the same

as burying it in real life."

I don't wanna hear that mess.

- Well, here's what you can do.

You can call Stinny and tell him that you can only preach

and you can't do any of the other jobs

that come with being a pastor because that's 99% of the job.

- Are you even listening?

I've never done this.

I lost my granddad when I was like five.

Other than that, nobody has died.

I'm not gonna feel comfortable.

I'm gonna feel like I'm faking it.

- Boy, you think the funeral is about you?

Dawg, it's about the family.

You just have to orchestrate it.

Go over there and check on the family.

Or you could just call Stinny

and tell 'em you don't know what you're doing.

Take your pick.

- Can I go like this or should I change?

- Put on a suit.

Be a pastor.

- No blazer, though.

- See this is that online stuff I'm talking about.

- Oh, it's all right.

The whole church is praying for you.

- Oh, come in, come in.

- Aw.

- Baby, you're late.

- Sorry, I was attending some other members.

- Funerals can be so hard.

Is there any program that you want us to abide by?

- Yes, so I only want Pastor Corey and me to talk

'cause Mama's gonna be so sad.

And everybody's gonna be there

so I wanna keep it to immediate family only.

- Okay, and Tracy, I want you to know

that I'm going to kill it for you.

I mean, it's gonna be a beautiful service.

It's gonna be just, you're gonna be happy.

- Thank you, Pastor.

- Okay and in my years of experience doing funerals,

I noticed that lately a lot of families

don't actually want the body

in the sanctuary during service.

It's considered like taboo, cliche, risque and stuff,

so is that something you also wanted to adhere to?

- What?

No, no, I wanna open casket.

- Okay. but if it's open,

people gonna be able to see him in there.

It's gonna be, he gonna be dead.

- Yes, yeah, yes.

- He gonna be dead.

- I know, yes.

- All right, okay, that's perfect.

We can make sure that they'll see him.

His eyes will be closed,

but they'll remember when he's open.

- I thought you were bringing like food over or something.

I don't have much in my fridge, you know,

considering the circumstances.

- Oh, whatever you have is fine.

I mean, I haven't eaten all day.

Just a little sandwich would be perfect.

Or some chips, you know, or a cookie.

- I have some homemade frozen lasagna

in my trunk. - Perfect.

- And my famous lemon pound cake

and I'm gonna heat that up right before I leave,

and I've also set up the mother's board to bring you

by a meal every day for the next two weeks.

I got you. - Thank you.

- Yes. - Thank you.

- Can I get a slice of that pound cake just for the road

'cause she probably can't eat the whole.

- What?

- Oh yeah, you should have it.

You want the whole thing, yeah, that's fine.

I'll just stop by somewhere on the way home.

Now, could you tell me something about your boyfriend?

You know, I just wanna be able to speak

to who he was as a person for the eulogy.

- Yeah, he was so loyal, he was loyal to me.

He wanted to marry me. - Oh.

- He called me his little munchkin

and he was the best man I'd ever known.

- He sounds like an amazing guy.

I know he's in line at the pearly gates

just missing you so much right now.

- Oh, oh, no, baby, it's gonna be fine.

No, no, no, don't you worry about a thing here.

Oh God.

That's what the church is for.

We take care of each other, baby.

- Thank you. - Yes we do.

[door knocking]

- Yeah, may I help?

- My name is Sonny.

My man just died and I'm not mentioned in this at all.

I don't get to speak, I'm not even mentioned.

- Ma'am, the family has control

over the funeral arrangements.

- I will act a plumb fool up in this church

if I walk up in here and that's not changed.

- Ma'am. - Uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

That woman ain't no fool.

He had his heart attack on top of me.

Now she wanna act brand new.

No, no, we don't got time for that.

Do you see that cute little picture?

I took that on my iPhone.

- Okay.

I will do my best to make sure you feel acknowledged.

- Uh-uh.

My name better be in that program

or the casket gonna hit the floor.

- Okay.

- Don't play with me.

- What in the color purple is going on here?

- Now, make sure you give her the hip anti-reflux.

If you give her anything else,

she gonna throw it up all night.

- So can you just tell me one more time

just in case I forget.

- Excuse me, for trying to keep my baby alive.

What did Corey say about the new job?

- Girl, I have been so busy with my new position,

I haven't even had a chance to tell him.

- And he didn't ask.

- Come to think of it, I haven't spoken to him all week.

- You need to make sure he don't stay in Lubbock.

- What do you mean?

- You not trying to move to no Lubbock, right?

- Right.

- And you trying to make sure that he comes back, right?

- Right.

- Okay, so this is what you do, boom.

You go to Lubbock.

You throw that monkey on him.

You make him forget all about his hopes and the dreams.

- Girl, we are trying to do right.

- And we fall down, but we get up.

Look, look, if you let him settle there,

some sweet Southern woman gonna be baking him

sweet potato pie and he gonna bring the whipped cream.

- Kendra!

- All right, all right, all right, I'm sorry,

but I'm just saying.

Have fun with my baby, by the way

'cause you'll have one pretty soon

if he slips up down there

and gets somebody pregnant.

Lawrence and Essa.

Y'all gonna be so cute.

- Have fun.

You know you could get a new babysitter.

- Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen. Amen.

Amen, we gonna want to thank Johnson and Johnson

Mortuary Services for donating the casket.

Our brother couldn't fit all the way in,

but we just thank him for the family's sake.

He wanted to be buried quickly

and he was taller than they thought

so we was gonna fix it in the grave.

Now is the time that if any family or friends

wanted to say something on behalf of the deceased.

- Woz.

Come on man, let's go.

Hey, come on, boy, let's go, let's get up outta here.

Boop, let's go.

- He dead.

- Come on, man, I know you ain't dead for real.

You dead For real, for real?

He...

Oh man, what?

Oh man! No, not my dawg.

Not my dawg, man.

Not my dawg. [crying]

You ain't got one of them nose things, bro?

Oh, this one owe be $20, man.

Oh.

Oh, the hell.

- Amen. Amen.

- Oh!

- Amen.

Grief hits everybody differently.

As I understand the family did-

- That was my man in the casket too

and I'm not gonna hide it anymore.

- He meant more than me than any of you in here

and he always let me know it.

- Okay, what you thirsty women are not gonna do

is ruin my man's funeral.

- Ladies, if we could just have a seat

and respect this man's family.

- I am his family, Sonny Richardson.

I could spell it out for you for the program if you need.

- Well, actually the man in the casket was-

- All right, all right, please, everyone,

can we please sit down.

Can we please sit down.

Amen?

Amen.

Just, we go, come on, yes. Amen.

We are trying to put this brother to rest.

In his life, he loved Tracy

and I'm sure his love spread throughout

various members of the community

and we just thank God that he was allowed to love.

Isn't life about loving?

Sharing love and happiness.

Love and happiness, that's all we wanna do.

So at this moment, I wanna thank God for his life

and you know, we just wanna bless this brother

as he passes on to paradise.

Is that all right?

- Can we please just pray for my son?

- Yes, yes, ma'am.

If we could bow our heads.

Amen.

Oh Jesus.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in Jesus name, amen.

All right, we'll be dismissed.

There'll be a repass in the back.

Oh my God.

Man, that was terrible.

- Yeah, man, you ain't lying.

- Man, I feel like I was just all over the place.

Man, you saw the family was crying.

- Oh, well, that ain't your fault.

You know, they was at a funeral.

Funerals make people sad.

That's the dead person's fault.

- I just, I feel like I bombed up there.

- Oh yeah, you did.

You absolutely bombed, but you got the experience.

Look, man, your daddy was wrong, but he wasn't wrong wrong.

I'm just saying.

Don't shoot the messenger.

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