All language subtitles for Churchy s01e01 The Passover.eng

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Original subtitles

- All right babe, can you fix my tie

on the bottom? - Okay.

Okay, but make sure the bottom doesn't pop out.

- It's the- - 'Cause the right

It's there. Just take a breath.

This is your moment. - Okay.

You got it.

- Bro. Bro, you look good.

- All right. All right, we should start rolling.

My dad's gonna be coming up soon.

- All right, cool, cool.

- All right. Make sure to get him in the background.

- I got you. I got you, baby.

- Amen, amen!

Come on, give God the praise this morning.

- Little bit over to the left. - Okay.

More. - All right.

More. Keisha, back to one.

Ain't nobody tell you to go nowhere.

- But then I won't be in the shot.

- There it is.

- Rodney, keep playing with me and see what happens.

- Keep playing with that wig.

- It's time. It's time for the big announcement.

And I know a few of y'all been doing a little whispering

about the transition.

- We are live, bro.

- Ladies and gentlemen of the live,

I'm so excited that you had a chance to join me today.

I'm so happy for what God's about to do.

And listen, I'm merely a vessel.

I'm so glad that God's able to use me.

Rodney, how many people we got in the live right now?

- We got 15K bro.

- 15,000 and counting.

Oh, you are about to be blessed.

Listen, if you're ready,

I want you to drop the word expansion in the comments

right now and expect a miracle.

- I'm here to announce that we will be planting

a second location.

Come on everybody. Give God the praise for that.

This second location will of course be in need

of a capable steward,

someone who knows and loves this church.

Yes, we searched.

We searched far and wide for a steward,

and discovered that we didn't have to look too far at all.

And that's why I'm here today to announce

and introduce you all to the new pastor

of Greater Commission's Baldwin Hills campus.

Someone I trained, someone that I groomed,

and someone who is my spiritual son,

Pastor Cleophus Patterson.

- Pastor Patterson?

- Come on, Pastor Patterson. - Your spiritual son-

- You're on the spot.

- I'm your real son. - You're on the spot.

We was having school back in...

I'm not- - Move, move.

- Pastor Patterson, come on.

Come on, y'all give it up for Pastor Patterson.

- Yeah.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Yes.

- Yo, see. I had,

I had got you this card, you know,

thinking your daddy was gonna give you his church today.

Yeah, he didn't,

but, and this card was $7

and I didn't want it to go to waste.

So here.

- Rodney, I love you like a brother,

but I am not in the mood.

- Oh. Wait a minute.

What's that I see?

A love offering? Benjamins?

Well, since you're not in the mood,

I'll just give it to myself.

- I mean, I don't deserve this.

I don't deserve any of this.

- Baby, you don't.

And God would not allow this to happen

if he didn't reveal a way out, okay?

And besides, we have other news to get excited about.

- She's still thirsty, bro.

- And still single, bro.

- You know what? You're right.

I got the network. I got the followers.

I definitely got the word on lock.

I'm gonna make sure I get the last laugh.

- Nah, bro. The internet definitely got the last laugh.

Look, look, look. Right there. Right here.

Look right, look at your face right there.

Look at your eyes, bro.

At that exact moment, you thought it was gonna be you.

Dang, he worked fast.

Not Carlton Banks is in on this already.

[sighs] Congratulations, bro.

Looks like you finally about to crack 1 million views.

- Did you say 1 million?

- Correction. 1.5.

- Rodney, give me your phone.

- Bro, it's the internet.

You taking my phone ain't gonna stop

the Great Passover from going viral.

- Rodney, can you please be more sensitive

to the situation?

- Keisha, I asked him earlier if he wanted to jump dude.

He said no.

- Mm. I got it.

- Three, two.

- Well hello there, Internet.

Look, I'll be honest,

I have lost full control of the situation.

Y'all have been having a great time at my expense.

I've been mean from here to Galilee.

No, now I'm all right, you know,

because you know who else was mean

and laughed at and made fun of?

Jesus. I mean, they mean him to this day.

You know, he got up outta the grave

and they make fun of him.

But listen, you have two choices.

You can either stick your head in the sand and,

and live in guilt and shame and disbelief,

or you can trust that God has a plan,

and that he'll use your situation for the betterment of you.

And I'm gonna choose for God to use me.

And if you believe in a miracle happening in real time,

I want you to drop #WatchHimWork in the comments,

'cause I know that God is using me.

All right, now y'all stick with me. Stay tuned.

Make sure to subscribe.

Hit that notification bell,

so you don't miss out on anything

that God is dealing with through me.

Amen. All right.

Y'all be blessed.

- That's a cut.

- Whew. So?

- Hey, you murdered that, brother.

- Oh, I needed that. - Blood everywhere.

- Nothing but the blood.

- All right you guys, we gotta get ready to go

to Sunday dinner,

'cause you know your father and mother

are already headed there.

- Oh, I would love to hear the message attached

to embarrassing me.

- Can we just get to dinner?

'Cause I'm hungry. [Corey laughs]

- Babe, you got this, okay?

And remember what God said.

"He qualifies the call. - Hm.

"He doesn't call the qualified."

- You're looking qualified.

- I am? I am? - Huh? Huh?

All right. [giggles] - Huh?

- Son, you know I love you, right?

And the time that you stepped in when I was on the road,

you did a great job.

I mean, I see the potential that you could be

a spectacular pastor one day,

but just not now, son.

- But now is the time for Pastor Patterson

to plant a church at the ripe young age of 78?

I mean, no offense, Pastor Patterson.

- None taken.

- Son, you're not ready to lead.

You ain't never led nothing.

I mean, you know how to get the hearts

and the likes on Instagram. I get that.

But can you change a life like in real life?

- What are you,

what are you even talking about?

What do you mean?

- Get your hands dirty,

like have you ever led a small group bible study? No.

Have you ever volunteered? No.

Have you ever met with a member one-on-one

in your whole life? No.

And part of that is my fault. I shielded you.

But that's the real work of the church.

- Our church is still thriving because of me.

We seat a thousand in the sanctuary.

20,000 more watch online,

because the media ministry I set up. Okay?

70% of our giving is online.

Whose idea was that? Mine.

- You know how to work a computer and play on the phone.

You're going to need much more than that to run my church.

- Play on the phone?

Play on the phone?

Babe, play on the phone?

Candy Crush, Wordle, wow.

You consider our amazing social media strategy

and robust media ministry playing on the phone.

- Okay. Corey,

you just need a little bit more development, okay?

Why don't you sit under me for five or six years, okay?

Learn how to actually pastor people not through your phone,

not through your little live stream,

but really get into their lives.

- Really get into their lives. - Right.

I'm gonna really get into their lives now.

Gimme one second.

Hey guys, thanks for jumping on with me.

I wanna share with you some amazing news.

Pastor Patterson, I want to congratulate you, sir.

After 22 years, you are now leading your own service.

Congratulations to you, sir.

And I want to thank my father for,

for believing in Pastor Patterson,

and believing in me.

So now my huge news is that with my father's blessing,

I'm stepping down from Greater Commission

to lead my own ministry.

And I want to thank you, Dad,

for your unwavering love and support.

Listen guys, I know you're excited,

and I'm gonna share with you what ministry that is

tonight at 9:00 PM Pacific Standard Time.

See you then.

Rodney, Keisha, let's go.

- Uh-uh. Man, the food ain't came.

Y'all know I was not raised to just get up and leave

before the food come.

- I don't know who he think he is.

He think he can play with me and take this from me?

- Corey.

Corey, are you leaving your dad's church?

That wasn't the plan.

We didn't talk about that.

- Love birds, where y'all going?

- We're going home. - To church.

- Trust me, I got a plan,

- Man, this nigga better have a plan.

- So let me get this straight.

Not only did you burn the bridge with the church,

but you don't have any offers yet?

- Oh, I knew that was cap,

but the internet ate it up,

and it's the perfect cliffhanger

for tonight's big announcement.

You, you do got an announcement, right?

- I'm working on that.

- Corey, I'm gonna need more than "I'm working on it"

from the man who just blew up our lives.

- Hell in a hand basket!

Ignoring your grandma's bad karma.

- We are Christians, Rodney.

We don't believe in karma.

- Says the Christian with no job.

- Listen, you do realize that your boat

is tethered to my ship, right?

Like there's no musical director job for you

if there's no church for me to pastor.

- And then what do you mean you ain't got no offers yet?

- It's like my dad has no vision.

It's like he cannot see if it's not in person.

- The wedding. The wedding.

Oh my God. Your dad is not gonna let us use the church now.

Not after all of that.

- Oh, okay. Let me just make sure

I'm tracking all this here.

"All that," meaning Corey's big plan

to burn Greater Commission down to the ground?

- Rodney, we don't have time for your jokes.

- Okay, Keisha. Ooh.

- Corey!

- Okay, I got it.

Babe, I need you to go grab some markers and the whiteboard.

Rod, let's call every church in Southern California.

Matter of fact, the whole United States

and let 'em know I am ready to take over their ministry.

- Yeah, bro. I think they know you looking.

- I'm serious, man.

We gotta find a church by 9:00 PM.

- Bro, I got you.

- Hey, hey. I got you, okay? - Okay.

We're gonna get the venue,

we're gonna get the church.

It's gonna be fine.

- All right, if you say so.

- All right.

- I knew it.

See, you did all that, "Rodney, Keisha, let's go."

And now you hungry. Now you hungry.

- Oh, you got something for your boy?

- You already know I'm coming.

- You looked out for your boy?

- You know how I'm coming, big dog.

- In his time of need?

- "Congrats, Pastor Corey," who ain't no pastor.

Now let's go find me my job.

- You got a fork in that bag?

- Hey Sarah, Jake, say hello to Toré.

It's, it's Corey Carr Jr.

Listen, now's the time you take over Potter's House.

I'll take over One LA, okay?

Okay, let me take over Denver.

No? Yeah. Okay. I'll call you right back.

- Pastor Steve? Verdict Elevation.

Yes. Yes. It's Rodney.

No, not Jerkins. Rodney Joseph.

Yeah. I could come and elevate the praise team,

and I come with a pastor.

Yeah, you might have heard of 'em. Corey Carr.

No? - Junior.

Junior.

Let me take one of your All Nations.

Bro, you don't need two All Nations.

All y'all got two old campuses?

I know y'all got Maverick City.

I sang for the Dallas Mavericks.

- Y'all wanna still expand?

Send me to Chattanooga. - There it is.

Plant me in Chattanooga.

They said that's the new Atlanta.

What you mean that's Nashville?

- Junior. Okay.

Because Stevenson, he's gone.

Stevenson gone.

- Steven gone to New York.

Let me get the, lemme get to Louisville.

- Man, it's 32.

Why don't we just push the live back

and say you died in a car accident?

- I can't believe this.

Man, it wasn't supposed to go like this at all.

- Man, we called everybody. Literally everybody.

Bro, you called every single one

of the All Nation's campuses.

- What about this one?

I mean, you see the red, I mean come on.

- You literally have nothing to lose. Go ahead.

- Can't believe I'm gonna call them.

- Hey, Corey.

- Hey Rachel. So good to hear from you.

You sound blessed. Long time no talk.

- Aw, I could never forget the great Corey Carr.

What's it been? 10 years?

- Yeah, I think about that.

You know what, it flies by when you are working

in God's plan for your life.

- Amen.

- Anyway, I-I just wanted to talk to you real quick.

I think now is the perfect time

for Shepherd Church to start thinking about expansion.

- Is that right?

- Yeah. Listen, you know,

I just wanna pick up the conversation we had a while ago

about me assuming lead pastor duties.

- What, and leave Greater Commission?

Well, that is a bold step, Corey.

- Well, you know, when God calls you,

you've got to go out into the deep.

You know, Peter stood in the boat,

and although it was rocky,

when Jesus called him, the ground was still.

Now I am ready to step out,

because I know he's ready to grab me.

- Okay. Enough.

You can drop the act, Corey.

- What? What act?

- I saw the video.

Everybody has seen the video.

And honestly, I'm a little offended

you think I could be so easily manipulated

by your gift of persuasion.

- I-I-I don't think it's-

- Let me finish.

Correct me if I'm wrong,

but you didn't even grant me the courtesy

of returning my phone call

when we extended the lead pastor position to you

a few years ago.

No. You and your little friend

decided to go on the internet

and disrespect me and our entire congregation.

- What up, social fam?

Listen, I wouldn't be caught dead at Shepherd Church.

- Dead!

- Okay. Matter of fact, if I die,

don't even have my braai,

don't even have my funeral at Shepherd Church.

I will haunt you,

because Rachel Kaplan and Shepherd Church

are the definition of a feel good ministry.

- Straight up prosperity person.

- Prosperity, giving you a little milk,

just so you'll come back week after week.

"I'm only in the first book of the Bible." Aw!

- "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."

Duh!

- Now if you want milk, go to Shepherd Church,

but if you want meat, - Carnivores.

come to death row, I mean Greater Commission.

[Corey and Rodney laugh]

I don't remember it happening like that.

- Hmm. Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to get back to working on

this week's feel good sermon.

- Okay. Oh, oh yes.

That sounds great. Okay.

We could do lunch.

Poke sounds good. Yes.

Poke and barbecue.

Okay, perfect. Yes.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right. Bye.

- Yeah. Swing and a miss.

- Shh.

Oh my God. Grandma, what?

- Wow, you want your hell extra crispy.

I mean fried hard.

Answer!

- Hey, Grandma.

- Hey, baby.

I been calling you.

You been on my heart so strong today,

so I thought I'd call to check on you.

- Check on me?

I should be checking on you.

How's your knee doing? You staying off it?

- Uh-uh.

- Grandma, you keep on, they gonna take that leg.

You gonna be like Big Mama in "Soul Food."

- Boy, hush. [laughs]

Oh, my church added me to the prayer request list,

and I'll be fine.

- Grandma, you need to see a specialist out here in LA.

- Specialist?

I don't need no specialist.

I know the greatest healer there is.

- Okay, well at least let me call your doctor,

and make sure your prescription's filled.

- Oh, thank you baby.

You know, I appreciate it.

Pastor usually sends somebody over from the church

to take care of all of that for me,

but he upped and left us.

He is gone.

They usually send somebody over

to drop my groceries off for me,

but for the past few weeks,

I've been having to drive myself to the store.

Do you know a dozen of eggs cost $4 and 79 cents?

- Wait, wait, wait. Grandma, go back.

- I said eggs done shot up to $4 and 79 cents.

And don't you get me started talking about

the cost of milk. - No, Grandma. Before that.

- What do you mean the pastor left?

- Oh, yeah. Pastor Stinney, mm-hm, he gone.

I don't know where he is.

They're saying that the man had a mental breakdown.

Now all I know is that it's been three weeks

since he's preached,

and I cannot stand his replacements.

Oh, my goodness.

- You know what?

I think I might be able to help out.

- How are you gonna do that

all the way from Los Angeles, California?

- Three, two.

- Praise the Lord, everyone.

Come on in. Come on in the live.

I know you are excited about

what God wants me to share with you all today.

Listen, I won't lie to you.

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions.

I've been all over the place,

but that's how it is when you serve our Father.

And I know you're excited.

I know you're curious.

"What does God have for Corey Carr Jr?"

I'm gonna share, but before I wanna share

a couple of lessons I learned over the last 24 hours.

Number one, what God has for you is for you.

I mean, we might get distracted,

we might get confused,

we might be unclear, but God is always clear.

And matter of fact, oh, I hear you, Holy Ghost.

Matter of fact, when you wear glasses,

it's not the, it's not that the world is unclear.

It's that your vision is unclear.

And when God corrects your vision,

the world snaps back into focus.

And the Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11,

"For I know the plans I have for you."

Watch this. See, some of us are worried about

the plans we have for ourself.

We're worried about the plans our family has for us.

But the Bible says,

I know the plans I have for you,

plans to prosper you.

And that prosperity is coming for me.

Now I know you're excited,

so put some drum rolls in the comments right now.

I'm gonna share with you where God is taking me next.

God is moving me and my ministry to

Lubbock, Texas.

Come on, help me, Holy Ghost.

I wanna take the stage for all-

- Looks like he figured it out.

- Yeah, right. I give it a month.

- Carr Jr, except TikTok. Somebody stole my name, y'all.

Let's get some clapping up - Good for you, son.

in the comments, huh?

Now I have my choice of ministries all over the world.

Pastors were calling me all day.

My phone rang off the hook.

But this is my Nineveh.

Anything else is Tarshish,

and I want to go where God wants to send me.

So I'll see you soon from Lubbock, Texas.

Y'all be blessed.

- That's a cut.

Bro. All right, listen.

You know I'm rocking with you.

You know it's Batman, Robin.

I'm down for whatever. - Yeah.

But dog, are you sure about this?

- We're about to find out.

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