Original subtitles

Yeah!

Alright.

Alright.

Stupid stomach.

Yeah, that's the shit right there.

Okay.

Let's call this home.

Hello?

Hello!

Guess who? The one and only father of your children.

Guess who's coming over later?

No fucking way! I mean, you should have thought of that

before you got drunk and you hit on your own stepdaughter.

Hitting on my own stepdaughter? No way, you

got this all wrong. I was not hitting on her.

I was simply getting cozy and snuggling up to

her, just like families do. We're close, you know?

You spend all your money on hookers and booze and I just don't even

see how you could buy Christmas presents. You don't even have a job.

I don't blow all my money on booze and hookers. Maybe the booze. But

no, I've got gifts and I have some money. I have some money left over.

I really like it.

I've got some money.

What?

I thought you didn't have a job.

I'll hold you right there. Daddy does have a job.

You haven't seen the kids in like a couple years. I really think you should come.

I don't know. I mean...

Nope. I will be there soon. So I'm coming home.

I'm not going to count on you actually getting here. We'll see what happens.

I will make it. I promise. To infinity and beyond.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, you snuggle up to your children now. You get too close to your daughter.

Oh, that hit the spot.

I'm sorry.

Thanks mom!

Yeah!

Well go ahead and put them on!

Oh, put them on.

Okay.

Yeah, because you just wear it right now.

I mean it's festive, it's Christmas Eve, you know.

Okay.

I had my little candy cane tie going on.

I like that too.

It's festive.

But green is going to look better on you sweetie.

Yeah, alright.

It's you, it's you.

This might be a little tight, but I love it. Thank you, thank you so much, Mom.

Of course, you're a great figure.

Bells.

It's barely coming a mile away.

You guys are all bright and good, right?

I brought you guys some cookies.

Cookies!

I'm gonna save an appetite for dinner later.

Not me.

Just get a little beach, maybe?

The hat, too?

Of course the hat!

We can all be matching.

I can put both of them and pull it through.

Pretty, yeah.

That's really festive.

Great job.

You guys are so creative.

Alright.

That's really good.

Really good.

You didn't even look.

She hates me.

No, really, it's great.

You're okay.

Not as good as mine, but...

Hey.

I hate movie stars.

Um, so, Mom, when's Dad gonna be home?

Well, yeah.

He had to work late, so we'll see what happens with that.

He had to work late on Christmas? That sucks.

Yeah.

Well, I read you on the phone with Dad earlier.

Is he gonna come?

Um, well, your stepdad had to work late, so

I don't know if he's gonna actually be here

or anything.

I'm not sure.

He had to work late on Christmas?

That sucks.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, you guys, um, why don't you just go ahead and, you know, wash up.

You look really great.

You look perfect for Christmas dinner, so just wash your hands.

Everything's gonna be on the table in just a few minutes.

Okay.

I'm gonna go wash my hands.

Have a nice, happy family Christmas dinner, okay?

Okay, mommy.

I don't think I'll eat.

Bye, mommy.

There.

Thanks man.

Thanks, Mom.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Okay, so cheers to Merry Christmas, then.

Thanks, Ashley.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Daddy's home for Christmas!

Hey.

What the...

Hi Dad.

Hey kids.

What the fuck are those ugly sweaters you two have on?

That brought some tinsel. Do you like it?

No.

It's okay.

Yeah, well...

Imagine if it blow your days.

I mean, it's not like you bothered to buy the kids any gifts.

Oh, I didn't, did I?

Well, look what I have in here!

What for you?

Alright.

What for you?

Um...

I brought a spare USB case.

Mr. Couches?

Merry Christmas!

Thanks, Dad.

I'm gonna take this.

Hey.

You alright? You're looking a little older.

Yeah.

How are you, my darling?

Hi.

How did you get up?

It's been a while.

It has been a while.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Oh my gosh.

I don't know what happened there.

My glorious.

Glorious.

How are you?

I...

You know, I thought you were bringing real gifts for the kids.

This is not a present.

You didn't even wrap it.

That is a present.

It's already wrapped.

Look.

It's got a cover on it.

Uh, look at this.

I...

You know what?

I can...

It's...

Dying of Niasis.

Hold up.

I do have more gifts.

Who likes cash?

Do we like cash?

Yeah.

We like cash.

Cash.

Yeah.

We like cash.

There's cash somewhere.

Yeah.

Uh...

Oh, it's still rolled up.

This.

I wonder what that was.

Cash.

I...

You know...

I have an idea.

Oh, careful, Dad.

Where's the tree, then?

Yeah.

We...

We're not gonna...

Yeah.

Right as fuck.

My glorious kids.

Here's what we're gonna do.

See this?

This is a...

Scoot over Ches, huh? Scoot over.

Let me speak to your wonderful sister. Come on!

Good job, huh? Sit with your mother.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Yeah.

Oops.

Ches, get a little... You okay?

I am.

How are you? I'm good.

Yeah? You look so nice.

Thank you. Not the fairest sweater, but...

Well, mom bought it, so...

That's nice. Oh, wow.

What's really going on? Yes!

I love this juice. It's what happens.

I just...

It's very, very nice.

And the skin, too. It's...

It's, uh...

Hello.

Thank you. Thank you.

It's like these peaks.

It's like mountains.

Oh, wow.

It's like...

Um...

Yes.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I thought it was not that big.

Oh, it's really big.

Oh, that's cute.

Wow, it's just...

What do we have here?

Down south.

Down and out.

Action.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm so fucking nervous!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, this feels so good, why?

Yes!

Oh my god, it makes me so fucking hot with the phone in my heart!

Yes!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, that was so good.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, my god!

Oh, it's so good!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, yes!

Just like that, just like that!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yes!

Oh, my god!

Okay!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, man!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, fuck!

Yes!

Yes!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, my God!

Yes, you gave me the clock! Yeah!

Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Oh my god

Back in, yeah back in.

Oh yeah, I want it back inside me.

It's so sticky!

Oh yes!

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

It's so hot.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Fuck.

You're so lovely.

Yeah.

It's you.

I love you!

Yes!

Oh my god, that was too good.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm doing.

Oh yeah.

Oh god.

God, that was like, god, did you make this even better?

Yes, I'm happy for you.

I love you.

I love you too.

Yes! Oh my god!

Oh yeah, the whole fucking thing!

Shhh

Oh, oh, fuck yeah right there

Shhh

Oh, yeah.

Yes, yes.

Oh my god.

Oh yeah.

Oh my god.

Oh yeah.

Like father like son.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, put it in. Oh, fuck.

Oh my god.

Bye.

Oh my god, I'm so happy!

I want your company.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

I want your company.

I want your company.

I want your company.

I want your company.

Oh my god, I'm so happy!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Wow.

You alright?

Hey.

I'm fine.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.

You alright?

Yeah.