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Most people would say the website is where this wild ride began,

but for me, it started two days earlier

in front of the TV, watching the news.

Some airlines want to penalize overweight passengers

charging them for two seats if they can't fit into one.

Yes, we think it's a great idea for the comfort of everybody.

It's also for the benefit of the larger people.

They'll be more comfortable with two seats, and

it's only fair to charge them double.

Look, I get it.

It sucks to be next to the fat guy on the plane,

but nobody's more uncomfortable than that guy.

Squished into that tiny seat,

and knowing nobody wants to sit next to him?

The humiliation is payment enough.

Hmm.

Hi, honey, dinner will be in about ten minutes.

Is everything all right?

Mom.

Honey, that was so beautiful.

Mom, I've asked you a thousand times

not to sneak up on me.

Okay. Well, I didn't mean to interrupt.

I just wanted to let you know that your dinner is ready.

I'm not hungry.

But I made your favorite.

It might make you feel better.

Mom!

Baby, it's really beautiful.

I hate it when she calls me baby,

but, it's better than Butter,

which is what all the kids at school call me.

Hey, handsome.

Perfect, sweet, sexy, Anna.

I'd met her on this online social app.

Hey, beautiful.

I fall asleep listening to your song every night.

Never had anyone write a song for me.

When am I going to hear you play it in person?

Soon, very soon.

I've been waiting. When is soon?

When I figure out the perfect place.

Such a romantic. I can't wait to meet you, JP.

I just signed on to say hi.

I got to run, tons of homework.

Yeah, me too.

I got to finish reading Jane Eyre for comp class.

"I would rather be happy than dignified."

Of course, you know Jane Eyre.

Is there anything you don't know?

Ah, sweet dreams, my mystery man.

She was the prettiest girl in school.

Naturally, I didn't tell her I'm the fat guy

with the oversize desk in the back of your comp class.

Want to chat? Yeah, right.

I told her my name was JP, and I was the captain

of my soccer team at a private school.

Anna loved that I listened to her.

And now, three months later,

I was pretty sure she loved me.

♪ If you love me like you say ♪

♪ You'll do ♪

Let's not discuss mom's food art.

When it came to feeding me,

mom bounced between whole grain and whole fat,

vegetables and cupcakes,

hope and resignation.

She loved to feed me, but felt guilty.

Like she was a bad mother for letting me get so big.

Growing up, Dad said my big frame was

built for playin' football.

But when I started growing out,

he didn't know what to do with me.

He eventually stopped talking to me altogether.

I still tried to trip him up though.

Anything you see in there?

Any concerts?

Dad was a star quarterback for the Arizona Sun Devils.

He took a hit to his head,

causing him to go blind in one eye,

which destroyed any hopes he had of going pro.

Cardinals are never going back to the Super Bowl

if they play like this.

Oh wait! Wait, wait. Don't go. Don't go.

I need both of your opinion on which picture I should use

for my new real estate site. Okay? Alright?

Okay. So,

there's this one,

and this one, and this one, and this one.

Alright, so, this one, see, I could put like

a little house there or like,

maybe my logo. And then,

this one is, I want,

you to let me sell your house.

And then this one, I'm, raising, the roof of a house.

And then this one is standard. Like,

you know, what you would expect.

This one.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

No, no, that one.

Bye.

Okay, eat up because we don't want to be late

to your doctor's appointment.

Ma, will you hold my phone?

Another awesome side effect of being 423 pounds is

life-threatening diabetes.

Good morning. Good morning.

There they are. My favorite family.

Mom, come here. Bring it in.

- Good to see you. - Hi, Dr. Bean.

- Good morning. - Hi, Doc.

You know, they tell me not to hug

but I can't help it. I'm a hugger.

You know, it is what it is.

Alright, so, man, lot to catch up on,

first of all, how's your day going?

Stung a little bit, but other than that, feeling pretty good.

Yeah. Um,

I've been a little tired the last few weeks.

That's a little high but...

We've been cutting back on sugar.

Oh yeah, but the diet's on track, Mom.

Huh? Good carbs. Lots of veggies and protein?

Okay.

All right, looks like we're not in a danger zone just yet.

Weight's up a little bit since school began.

A little bit.

Okay. You know what? You and me both.

I gained weight when school to begin.

It's a stressful time of year.

Listen, sometimes we take a step back

before we take a step forward.

I just wanna be able to play the sax

without getting tired.

Is there a little lady in the mix there?

You can tell me. Dr. Bean knows all about

this stuff, go ahead. Is there anyone to serenade?

Maybe after I lose some of this.

I'm serious, listen. That's what I'm talking about, man.

It's your personality. You're so fun,

And you're funny, and your music,

That's what the ladies are going to care about.

More than anything else. What's right in here.

Okay? But first got to love ourselves

- before we love the ladies. - Okay, Doc.

All right. Hey, Patience is a virtue.

- The weight's going to come off. - All right.

You just keep doing what you're doing.

See you in a couple of weeks, oh...

Let's do it the way kids do it.

- All right. - All right.

Boom. Wait, did I do that?

- Yeah, you got to... - Right.

No, no, I always...

Boom!

Ahh! I love that.

Give it to me, Mom.

Boom, all right. Mom gets it.

Tucker?

Holy shit, man.

Language.

Sorry, Mom. You remember Tucker, right?

From FitFab.

Oh, my goodness.

Wow, you look amazing.

Thanks.

Tuck, what happened?

You look like you lost a hundred pounds.

- Seventy-six. - Congratulations.

Thanks. It's a good feeling.

What about you? Are you losing...

Uh, how is your diet going?

Do I look like I'm sticking to the diet?

Well, just keep workin' on it.

Got to find something that works for you.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that.

Tucker Smith, are we ready?

Uh, Ready.

Later, Butter, good luck.

- Bye. - Bye.

Later.

Wow, he looks great, doesn't he?

- Can we go? - Sure, baby, sure.

Tuck had been my bunk mate every summer for three years

at FitFab, Fit and Fabulous.

I guess he knows what fabulous feels like now.

Me, I'd given up on that dream.

I'd pretty much given up on myself.

♪ My mind is filled with ghosts ♪

♪ And more than most of all my love's gone wrong ♪

♪ My mind should be the way

♪ Most people say that I should just move on ♪

♪ My mind is focused on ♪

♪ Things past and gone where I have no control ♪

Hey, Professor.

Professor Dunn was the music teacher.

Everyone called him the Professor

because he played with the Boston, Philadelphia,

- and the New York symphonies. - Hey, Professor.

He had the highest degree from Julliard.

He was the coolest dude I knew,

next to Dr. Bean.

- Mornin'. - Mornin'.

You pick your electives for next semester yet?

Well, I'm still between underwater basket weaving, and leprechaun hunting.

Yeah, if only your comedy were as impressive as your music.

At least the comedy, you're willing to share.

Look, Professor, I told you. I'll come jam out with the brass band boys

anytime you like.

But the school band, that's just not my style.

I only ask that you think about it.

You're a rare talent.

I miss having you in my class.

I'll think about it.

Alright, you're going to be late to first period.

You better run.

Do I look like I run?

Well, walk fast then.

All right.

Anna, pay attention.

Please read from where we left off yesterday

in Chapter 17.

I have, for the first time, found what I can truly love.

I found you.

I love that every day

started out with seeing my Anna.

Anna McGinn was perfect in every way.

Got my existence about you and kindling,

and pure powerful flame fuses you and me in one.

Honestly, Jeanie, go to hell.

You don't need to take that shit, Jeanie.

You're a joke.

You're literally gonna call me a slut.

Anna, you can talk dirty like that to me anytime.

Which asshole was talking about my Anna?

Asshole was right. Jeremy Strong.

The way he leered at her made my skin catch fire.

You are such a bitch, Jeanie.

And he was going after my girl?

Anna! Anna!

I, um,

Well, I,

Well, spit it out, man.

I just wanted to make

sure you were okay.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah, she's fine, Butter.

Why don't you waddle back to the big and tall section?

Didn't know Anna had a new boyfriend.

I wasn't sure you liked them so big.

He's cute. He is cute, right?

Two double Bounce burgers fully loaded,

double order sweet potato fries,

chocolate-cherry shake, and an apple pie.

No, make that two.

Will that be all?

Probably not. That's it for now.

I couldn't remember what anything had tasted like,

but I had to keep eating.

I ate to feel satisfied.

I ate to relieve my pain.

I ate to forget.

♪ But now I'm going higher than I've ever been ♪

♪ Baby please don't let me down ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm coming alive ♪

I tasted more of it coming up than I did going down.

Online, Anna was there,

ready to fill me in on the cafeteria.

The fight was over some most likely blog

about West Scottsdale High students.

Most likely to win a million dollars,

or to be a doctor or a stripper,

or a warthog, who cares.

Anna had been voted most likely to have a white-picket-fence life,

and Jeanie most likely to get divorced, twice.

These facts lead Jeanie to call Anna a slut.

So I told Jeanie to go to hell and then walked away.

And this big kid stopped to ask if I was okay.

It made a big scene, and everyone was staring at me.

Oh wow! How did that make you feel?

I was embarrassed, for the kid and me.

But it seems like the kid was looking out for you. That's nice.

Yeah, I'm just shook up from it.

And really pissed at Jeanie.

I mean, BFFs should treat each other better.

I think you should apologize to Jeanie.

What? She started it.

Maybe she was hurting inside.

Take the high road. She is your friend.

Hmm. I'll think about it.

I feel like I can't talk with her

the way I can talk with you.

You really understand me.

Anna, you better not...

Urgh! Got to run.

Momzilla on the prowl. Ciao.

Ciao.

My category had definitely drawn some attention.

The comments from strangers were mostly nasty

but some of the posts from West Scottsdale High students were almost proud.

"I once saw him eat an entire large pizza without taking a breath."

"I bet he weighs 500 pounds! Top that!"

Top that? Seriously?

It was like I was their mascot.

Our Yeti can eat your Yeti.

Then I saw this.

A tub of butter! No puking!

Bullshit! That was not what happened.

It was the summer before my freshman year.

I had just returned from FitFab.

I'd lost 16 pounds and wanted to keep the momentum going

with diet and exercise.

- You want any bread with that salad? - No thanks.

You sure? We bake it fresh daily in the kitchen.

I said, no, thanks.

Oh, come on, one little bread won't kill you.

A nice warm, toasty, sweet, salty.

- You sound like a porn star. - What'd you just say to me?

Will you just tell me what I owe you for the salad.

- What you owe me is an apology. - I owe you?

You treat all your customers like this,

or you're just getting off on torturing the fat kids?

Hey, Brian, everything all right?

What, you got a problem?

I think he was supposed to look tough,

but with the electric green hairnet,

I couldn't bring myself to be afraid.

- Did he pay? - Mm-mm.

♪ Got to go to work now Got to go to work now ♪

- ♪ Got to make it hurt Got to make it hurt ♪ - Hey!

Now who's going to be sorry?

Now what is this fat-ass doing at a salad bar anyway, huh?

- Not payin' for a thing. - I didn't take the food.

Well, we can't exactly put it back in the bar now, can we?

Okay, fine yeah, I'll give you the money.

We're not robbing you, Sasquatch.

You can keep your wallet.

Then what do you want?

We just came out here to give you your lunch.

You called in backup to give me my salad?

Oh, I think you're gonna like this a whole lot better.

I'm not hungry.

I don't care.

Yeah, I'm not eating that, obviously.

So, unless you're gonna hit me over the head with it,

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go.

Look, if you don't eat this,

I'm gonna make high school hell for you.

Go eat yourself, if you can find it.

Get him down.

- Come on! - No!

Come on, guys, pin him down.

Get off me, what the hell. God! Let me go.

- Eat it. - No, I'm not going to eat plain butter.

Oh, I would've brought you bread,

but I guess you don't like bread. Eat it.

Hold him down. Come on, hold him down.

Eat it.

Eat it. Come on. Eat it.

Slow down. I'll eat it.

Good boy.

Get him up.

Finish it.

Please!

Eat it.

Finish it.

Jeez, that was hardcore.

Kid, what's your name anyway?

His name's Butter.

Hey, boys, come on. Let's go.

You left this at school.

- Thanks. - Your mom said I could come up.

- May I come in? - I guess.

So I heard there was an incident

in the cafeteria, with Anna McGinn.

- What happened? - Nothing, it was stupid.

You want to talk about it?

There's nothing to talk about.

You know, you can tell me. What's goin' on?

I'm never going to fit in, Professor. I got no friends.

The kids just look at me, judge me the way I look. I'm just a freak.

Many kids feel the same way that you do.

Oh, bullshit. Look at me.

You wanna lose the weight?

Then do it. Huh?

The way you play that sax,

I know you have the discipline.

I know you're trying to help, Professor,

but you don't know what it's like to...

live in this body.

I have rehearsal with the brass band boys

down at Rogan's tomorrow after school.

Come by if you feel like playin'.

- I'll think about it. - Good.

Listen, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

Thanks, Professor.

Give me some love.

Alright.

Is he going to be okay?

Well, he'll be fine.

Some sort of an altercation at lunchtime.

Kids can be so cruel, but he just stays to himself.

I just wish he would make some friends.

Yeah, it was probably his smart mouth

that got him into trouble.

I really don't know what happened

but uh...

try to get him into band next semester.

Thank you.

Camelback Mountain was my mountain.

I loved it when Dad and I used to come up here with his telescope.

We'd stargaze, and Dad would quiz me on the constellations.

He was an astronomy buff, an amateur historian,

a certified public accountant, and a perfectionist.

Good luck being his kid and failing at anything.

Of course, the one thing I never failed at

was playing the saxophone. Something Dad didn't care about.

He could keep his stupid telescope.

I'd rather have my music and our mountain all to myself.

With every note I unleashed,

I allowed myself a new beat of self-pity.

G, parents who give up on you.

A flat, people who stare at you, but don't really see you.

B flat, kids who would rather watch you eat

than hear what you have to say.

B, I need to be listened to.

A reckless idea began to take shape in my head.

I will not be ignored.

Setting up a website took me less than 15 minutes.

By the time I began typing on buttersfinalmeal.com,

I felt committed, like there was no turning back.

New Year's Eve. It was exactly four weeks away.

And the last day of the year.

There's poetry in that.

Are you up?

Hello?

Hello?

Are you there?

Hey, I'm here.

Guess what? I did it.

I apologized to Jeanie, and she apologized too,

and now we're back to being BFFs.

Thank you for giving me such good advice.

That's why I'm here.

Hey, here's my new favorite song by Bedon.

It reminds me of you.

Can't wait to listen to it.

I have to meet you, JP. Have you thought about when?

I thought of Anna's perfect lips and dark eyes,

I desperately wanted to kiss her forehead

the way my dad kissed my mom's,

but I knew she would never accept me the way I was.

I knew we could never meet.

Are you there?

New Year's Eve.

Oh, but that's a month away.

It'll be here sooner than you think.

Okay, a New Tear's meeting is pretty romantic.

I better go before my mom catches me

after Internet curfew. Goodnight.

Until New Year's.

Hi, baby. Just checking in on you. Are you okay?

I'm fine, Mom. Just want to be alone.

Ignore me now, assholes.

- There's Butter. - Yeah, check him out.

♪ Feelin' like dynamite Ohh ♪

Oh my God, there he is.

Morning, Butter.

Sheesh!

I'll take that. I gotcha.

Thanks.

Sure, no problem.

- Oh, go ahead. - No, it's okay. I didn't mean to cut.

Seriously, go ahead.

We were in band last year.

I'm Penelope.

Hi.

I'm sorry.

About what?

Your final meal.

I got to go.

Holy shit.

♪ That would feel so good ♪

Hey, did you see that fat-ass kid's website?

If that slob goes through with it,

I'll eat a stick of butter myself.

I know the guy. He's way too big of a pussy

to kill himself. Guy's a Sasquatch.

He's gonna embarrass himself to death by not showin' up.

I bet it's impossible to die from eating.

What if that kid was right? That you can't die from eating?

I will need to make my menu deadlier.

Jeremy's comment was enough to set fire to my veins,

but it was the gut-check I needed.

On New Year's Eve, I would get the last word.

They could call me Sasquatch and fat-ass and Butter,

but nobody was calling me a liar.

You are a total badass.

Legendary, bro.

I'm Trent. This is Parker.

- Yo. - I'm Butter.

We know.

And pretty soon, everyone's gonna know.

Look, you know, I know I put it out there and all,

but I don't really want the parents or the teachers

to know about it. So can we...

No, no, no. That's not gonna happen, okay?

Anyone who narcs on you, is gonna hear it from us.

What about the tattletales who already know about it?

Good point though, Butter.

Maybe you should password protect it.

You know, keep out the tattletales.

Yeah, man, I will come up with a password.

Make it margarine, and we'll spread the word.

Margarine, spread, nice.

- Right? - Yeah.

Good one.

Later, Butter.

Hey, listen, Yardbird. We want to hear something original.

- It's time for a break. - You can't hang, Professor?

Well, it sounds like it might be time for a solo then.

You got somethin' original?

- I might have one. - I'd love to hear it.

Uh, give me a spot.

Wow, man!

That was, that was absolutely beautiful.

Nice, kid.

What do you call it?

Anna's Song.

Hmm.

Anna McGinn?

Okay. Okay.

You know, I know a little somethin' about love.

Yeah, what's up with the ring?

My late wife has been gone about 20 years

but I, I like to keep this close to my heart.

And here we go.

I'll have what he's having.

No, he won't. He's underage.

I had to call in huge favors just to get him to play here.

Plays like a man.

You should at least give him a sip of yours, Dunn.

It's a rite a passage.

Yeah, a rite of passage that'll get me fired.

Besides, this stuff here will kill you.

Alcohol, it could actually kill you.

That's a deadly idea.

I'll add a bottle of vodka to my New Year's Eve menu.

So what are you doin' New Year's Eve?

Why?

Well, we'll be playin' here. Come join us.

I don't really like playing in front of people.

I feel like they're, judging me,

the way I look, not by my music.

Well, if you play a song like you just played,

people don't see you.

Hell, they don't even really hear you.

They, feel you.

You feel me?

There you go.

Cheers.

I had completely lost my appetite for food.

It was replaced by all the Internet attention.

Everyone wanted a piece of my final meal,

giving food suggestions.

A fruit cake, a pile of mashed potatoes,

and the occasional crackpot suggestion

like chocolate-covered crickets.

The comments supported me, and I imagined each of those

smiling faces at school

could be the start of a new friendship, or even more.

The possibilities were downright yummy.

Go on again to your Doc Beans?

Same. What are you up to?

On mission 50 of Fours and Sixes.

You need to get out more.

No, I just need to get out of Arizona.

And go where?

- The Institute. - The Institute?

Was he kidding? Everyone from FitFab knew the Institute

was where fat kids went in, zombies came out.

It's a boarding school for fat kids

in a far-off land called Chicago.

It was a place you got shipped off to

when your parents could no longer

stand the sight of you.

What are you doing here?

Tuck, are you crazy?

The Institute is for lost causes and rejects.

You don't even need to go, man.

You're losing the weight on your own.

Look at you, you're doing it.

My mom and I went to visit,

and it's not as bad as everything we heard, okay?

I mean, sure they're strict

about diet, exercise and weigh-ins.

But, other than that, it's just like school.

Yeah, but you can't go.

Listen. I've been having a really hard time

staying on track, so I could use the help.

You don't know what it's like to be homeschooled

and only having friends

a couple of months out of the year in summer.

That's what makes me wanna eat.

Plus, I'd really like to go to college a normal size.

They would never even know I was fat in the first place.

Fresh start, you know?

You want to go to college?

Yeah, who doesn't want to go to college?

Oh, really? I thought you were dying to get away from your parents

and the Scottsdale skinnies.

College will just be more of the same, you know?

I mean, I thought high school would be different,

but no, total bust.

- That's 'cause you don't make an effort. - What?

Look, I get why you didn't go out for the football team,

but why not take band again this year?

'Cause it's just classical music

and kids don't even know how to play their own instruments.

You don't take a chance on anything

because you're afraid of being disappointed.

That's why you eat because it never lets you down.

Well, everything is disappointing, Tuck.

How am I supposed to stop everything from sucking?

The only thing that sucks is your attitude.

The person you're most disappointed in is yourself.

Just spare me the FitFab speech, man.

Do you really have to go to Chicago?

You'll be fine. Okay?

So you get it?

Why I'm going to the Institute?

I think deep down inside,

I was angry at Tuck for getting skinny.

Besides, who was I to call him crazy?

With my whacked-out suicide plot,

I was probably going straight to hell.

Tucker, he was just going to Chicago.

Hey, Butter, Butter.

Get over here, man. We got your bench.

- What's going on? - Have a seat.

Yeah, we all moved your bench so you can sit with us.

We didn't all move it.

Quit your crying, dude.

Wait, so what's the deal?

We just thought that you wouldn't wanna sit alone.

We're a pretty fun group.

Yeah? So what's on that menu?

The menu?

I got some leftovers in here.

No. No. No.

The menu.

Oh! Umm,

I haven't really thought about it yet so,

Well, tell you what, I put a twenty down that

says you won't go for the crickets.

Yeah, I read a bunch of the suggestions on your website.

- You're betting? - Nice, Parker, seriously. Real subtle.

What! Everybody's betting, dude.

Well, I've put $50 that he won't even

go through with it at all.

I got better things to do on New Year's.

Look, guys, I'll, I'll make a list

and post the options for the menu.

But no one's gonna know the final menu

until New Year's Eve.

So you're really gonna do it?

You bet.

I'll believe it when I see it.

You're gonna see it?

I thought you had something better to do

on New Year's Eve than watch me.

Oh, that's a burn, Jeremy.

Yo Nate, meet Butter, dude.

What's up, man? I'm Nate.

Hey, Butter.

You know, I've always wondered, how fast is your 'Stang?

Zero to 60 in under four seconds.

Damn! That's a beast, man.

You'll probably take Parker's 'Vette.

Yeah, in Parker's dreams though.

Kids at school stopped caring about my website

when there was much bigger gossip at hand.

Everyone wanted to know how the fat kid

cracked the cool crowd.

Trent introduced me to someone new every day.

Hey yo, Butter, what's up? What's up, man?

Have you guys ever tried dick pills?

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I posted updates listing which food suggestions

had made the short list.

My peers argued whether my final sip on this earth

should be Coke or Pepsi.

The two faces of my fellow students were so different.

I genuinely convinced myself those vultures online

were not the same kids being so nice to me at school,

and they couldn't possibly be the same people

who invited me to go bowling.

It's not just bowling, Butter.

I don't really bowl, though.

Eh, bowling's not the point.

We just hang out with our friends and have a good time. Plus,

Trent knows the bartender, so she hooks us up a beer.

- It's true. - Yeah, but I don't even know if I can go.

- Go where? - Oh, bowling.

Bowling! Oh, we're in.

See, that is what we'd like to hear.

Let's go, girls.

You know, on second thought, bowling could be fun.

Count me in.

Go Parker. Okay.

Okay, show-off.

Why, oh why, did no one tell me

bowling was such an incredible sport?

♪ I love the way you move your hips ♪

♪ I love the way you lick your lips ♪

♪ I love the way you work your body ♪

♪ Yeah baby you a hottie ♪

♪ Show me what you got girl drop it low ♪

Too much power, you know. I'm too strong.

Butter, you're up.

Gutter ball.

No. No, it's not a gutter-ball. It's a, it's a butter-ball.

Butterball.

Butterball.

Butterball.

Butterball. Butterball.

I thought I might melt right into the floor.

Then something strange happened.

Trent embraced me, then turned me to face everyone.

That's when I realized they weren't mocking me,

they were cheering me on.

That was the power of Trent's approval.

There you go, Butter.

There you go.

Oh, oh! He's got moves.

- That's... Oh! - Yeah.

Nice moves.

Oh shit.

I'd work on that one though.

Yeah, maybe a little bit.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Umm, I'm Anna, by the way.

Oh, I'm, I'm Butter.

Butter, I know.

So what are you, what are you doing here?

Oh, Trent and Parker invited me.

Oh, I know, I know. I just,

meant, you know, you don't normally hang out with us.

Yeah, I think they were just more so curious

about the website or the menu or whatever.

You know about the website, right?

Yeah, but you're not actually gonna do it though, right?

Parker thinks so.

I mean, the guy's been grilling me about the final menu.

He's taking bets.

Boys are demented.

Yeah, we are.

Butter, beer run, bud. It's your round.

- Right? - Hmm-mm.

Yo guys, beer's on me.

Ohh! Ohh!

Phew! That was some good bowling.

- I know. - Yeah.

This is a slick ride.

Yeah, that's mine.

Alright, we'll see you tomorrow at the mall?

- Yeah, you got it. - Alright, dude. Good to see you.

- Yeah, man. - All right.

See you, bro.

- Click it! - Click it!

All right.

Hey, Butter.

Thanks for coming.

You got some great dance moves, by the way.

Why, thank you. You can call me.

Butter Baryshnikov.

Ha! And you're funny.

We should all hang out again soon.

Yeah, why not?

- Goodnight. - Later.

♪ You've got me running in circles ♪

♪ I don't ever wanna slow down ♪

♪ Let's just keep spinning spinning spinning ♪

♪ Just keep going round, going round ♪

♪ You got me running in circles ♪

♪ Can't keep your feet on the ground ♪

Bye.

Baby, your breakfast.

Come on, you gotta eat it, baby.

Remember what Dr. Bean said.

Protein, veggies.

Ma, I'm going to be late for school.

Wait, are those new clothes?

Yeah, Ma.

Where'd you get 'em?

At the mall, with friends.

You look really nice.

So who are these new friends of yours?

Will you stop treating me like a baby?

Frank, there's something wrong.

What could be wrong?

He's got friends, maybe eating less.

He might lose some weight.

No, he's not eating anything at all.

He won't talk to me, and he stopped playing his sax.

Don't ask me, Marian.

I don't understand him at all.

Bowlin', hangin' out at the mall,

hope you're enjoyin' yourself.

Having a blast.

Get your bony hand off my car.

You really think they're your friends?

You know, Parker's just keeping you close to increase his odds.

He figures if you guys are friends, you'll let them in on how this litte show of yours

is going to go down, and he can win some bets.

Dude, what's your problem?

Are you intimidated by me?

What do you think I'm gonna take your place?

Well, even if you do,

I guess that spot will be back open in January, huh?

And even if you don't go through with it,

they'll be done with you after New Year's.

I got a question about your list.

What?

No, no, no, not that list.

I think you need like a, like a bucket list.

- A bucket list? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A bucket list.

That's great! Good idea. Like, you know, like

cool shit you want to do before you,

you know, kick the bucket.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I could probably

stand to try a few things

or do them for at least one more time

before I, well, before I, you know...

Yeah?

Well,

I would like to kiss a girl.

Dude, you've never kissed a girl?

Hey, not so loud, asshole.

Calling me loud? Can you bigmouth over that?

Shut it up.

Ouch!

Never?

I have. I have. It's just,

well, it'll be nice to do it at least one more time.

Any particular girl?

Anna McGinn?

Yeah.

Okay, good luck, dude.

No one could pry open that clamshell.

It's true, the clam is closed for business.

But I heard, last summer, Jeremy had her mouth wide open.

Wah, wah... Full sin.

No. See, I wouldn't believe anything that scumbag has to say.

None.

Hey, Jeanie. Where's Anna?

Who knows? She's probably overslept 'cause she was talking

to her stupid Internet boyfriend.

She's dating someone on the Internet?

And get this. She doesn't even know what he looks like.

Hey! That's a, little creepy.

Creepy, and so 1990s.

- Right. - Yeah, but it's not like

it's any of our business though. Right?

Ooh! Come on.

We're going to be late for class.

-See you later, dude -Later man.

Butter, I know you feel like you might be a little too big to get with Anna.

I mean, look at it this way. You gotta be better looking

than that troll face she's dating on the Internet.

I mean, come on, like this, this is good...

Oh! God! Watch where you're going.

Why don't you watch...

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to run into...

Forget it.

The hell are you starin' at?

A liar.

What'd you call me?

Was it a lie?

It was a prank, and you fell for it.

So what's with the password?

- Well, if you don't have it, I guess you don't get it. - What a dick!

Don't you have some place to be? Why don't you could go blow your instruments?

Or better yet, you could blow it out your ass.

Excuse me.

I expect a lot more from you.

Professor, I...

Huh! Maybe step off and step back on.

This is good news!

409, congratulations.

Forty pounds!

Forty pounds! You disappeared before my very...

Where did he go? I can't see him. Is he,

That's great.

What are you doing? Tell me everything.

What, are you, what, are you exercising a lot?

- You must be eating really well. - He's not eating.

What do you mean, not eating? What, you're not eating?

- Not at all. - Not at all? What do you mean?

No, I'm eating. Of course I'm eating.

- No, you're not. - I'm just not overdoing it.

Okay, I've just been busy with school so, stuff so,

Oh, stuff. Stuff!

- As in, a lady. - No.

- Is there a lady? - No.

- No, there's no lady. - Is there a lady?

- There's no lady. - Some lady stuff goin' on.

- There's no lady! - There's no lady, Mom. There's no lady.

Okay, don't tell Bean, all right?

There's no lady.

I'm proud of you.

Mom, there's no lady.

There's no lady, Mom.

Okay,

but there is something else that I wanted to ask you.

Um, have you heard of this place called the BI?

It's an institution in Chicago.

No! No way.

Hey, whoa, buddy, calm down.

Good God, no reason to raise the blood pressure

over some school in Chicago, alright?

Always mind the ticker.

Yeah, I know Barks Institute.

Okay, I had no idea you had even heard about it.

Everyone at FitFab's heard about it, Ma.

It's a fat camp legend, and not in a good way.

Okay. I didn't know that.

But, you know, someone at your dad's work

has a daughter who went there, and she loves it.

So I just thought that maybe the doctor

had some literature for us.

No, I have some contacts there.

I'm happy to get them to mail something to you.

I'm just curious. You know?

And I mean, if you're not interested,

you're not interested, but, you know,

No. I'm not interested.

Okay.

I have to take this. I'm sorry. Just...

I'll meet you in the lobby.

Are you okay, buddy?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, Doc, if I want to treat myself

with some big Christmas dinner,

Yeah.

It's not like I could die from just one meal, right?

Hey, that's not a funny joke.

Are you, do you seriously worry about that?

Listen,

you have a bigger chance of chokin' on a Turkey bone

than you do fatally overeating over the holidays, okay?

I promise.

Alright, I'll see you next year.

- Boom. - Thanks, Doc.

Doc's answer was unexpectedly helpful.

I could eat fast to increase my chance of choking.

Combined with the alcohol,

I now had two deadly ideas for my New Year's Eve plan.

We still on for New Year's?

Of course, countin' down the days.

Do you have anything planned for us?

'Cause my friend Parker is having a huge party

and there's gonna be a band, and his parents are out of town,

so there will be alcohol. We could meet there.

Sounds like fun. I'll be there.

So excited! I got to run.

Can't wait to meet you, JP. I'll send you the address later.

Jeremy was right.

If I couldn't go through with my plan,

this party was over. And I'd be damned

if I was ever going back to that long table

in the back of the cafeteria!

So I had a job to do.

Strawberries, I was definitely allergic to them.

When I was a kid, I gorged myself on strawberry pie

and stop breathing completely.

Come on. Come on, Butter, come on!

Some doctor at the picnic had to stab me with an epi pen.

Those were the last strawberries I ever ate.

Now I'll add them to my final menu,

which was getting deadlier by the day,

and New Year's was just 10 days away.

- What's up, man? - Hey, what's going on, man?

- Let the Christmas vacation begin, dude. - Alright.

Yeah, the whole crew's headed back to my house, all right?

What's everybody's still doing here? Let's party.

Dude, you live here?

It's a little cozy, but we get by.

♪ Fight like a title ♪

♪ Stand like a champion ♪

What's up, fellas?

- Two fresh's, please. - Fresh?

Yeah. Thank you, fresh.

- Coming at you. Cheers. - Yeah.

Hey, who's that?

Oh! Uh, Brian? He's Jeremy's older brother.

Yeah, their parents live out in LA.

Only come visit here a couple of months.

So, it's pretty much just them two out here.

That explains a lot.

Hey, yo. Cheers.

Everybody, school's out, let's party.

But seriously though,

whoever ordered Hawaiian pizza, consider yourself fired.

Hey, don't be trying to cut in line.

You know, I think I can hold it.

Do you have any fun plans for Christmas break?

Eh, not really.

Aunt and uncle come over for Christmas dinner, but...

We're going to Miami to see my cousins,

but my mom says no phone or laptop,

so I am just gonna be bored to death.

And half my vacation, I'll just be doing homework.

Homework? You do realize the semester's over, right?

Not for me.

I blew it on that final paper for comp,

so I have to make it up.

You know, if you want help with that,

I can work with you. I aced mine.

- Really? - Sure.

Uh, yeah, that would be great, thanks.

Yeah, I mean, if you want, we can like after the party,

go to the coffee house or library

and go back to your place or mine or...

- Okay. - Okay, what?

Okay, this party's kind of lame.

You wanna leave in 10? We can go to my place.

- Um, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah?

No, no one else saw that.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

♪ Hey oooh na na na na na ♪

♪ Oh hey hey ♪

♪ Holdin' hands as we walk under the stars ♪

Oh man, I like that guy.

Yeah, me too.

♪ It's like the lemon and the golden fits your brain ♪

♪ It's cliche but I swear we are... ♪

Ooh. Let's see what you got on your playlist.

- Wait. - Uh?

You have Bedon?

Nobody knows them.

One of my faves.

Oh.

♪ Baby baby ♪

♪ Look how we've grown ♪

Hey, you want to see somethin' cool?

Will it keep us from going home to work on that stupid paper?

Yeah.

Then yes.

All right, crank it.

Oh, my God, Butter.

I'll slow down, hold on.

♪ I wanna make you whole ♪

- Careful. - Thanks.

I'm not exactly wearing my hiking boots.

Hey, do I look like I can hike a mountain?

Oh. You okay?

Yeah.

This is beautiful.

I mean, God, look at, look at this city.

Look at all the lights.

You know, I love the smell of nature.

Don't you love the smell of nature?

I guess.

You guess?

Oh, you know what else I love the smell of?

I love the smell of gasoline.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Gasoline?

What? You think that's weird?

Maybe a little bit.

What? That is not weird.

Okay, fine.

Then,

then you tell me something weird about yourself.

Got a secret you never told anybody else?

Uh,

I don't really have any.

Hey, come sit.

Come sit. I don't bite.

Oh, no, no, no. You don't need...

You are cold, I can see you shiver.

Thanks.

- There. - Whoa-oh-oh.

Oh.

God, look at the moon. It's gorgeous.

Yeah, it is.

This is like the perfect make-out spot.

Oh, no, no, no.

No! Sorry.

- Not with... - Um...

you... I'm sorry. That, that, I didn't mean it like that.

That came out... sorry.

No, no. It's fine.

I just-I don't know you very well, you know.

And I, I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah. The Internet boyfriend.

How did you know that?

Jeanie said something about it at school the other day.

Everyone kind of thought it was a little weird,

you met a guy on the Internet.

What? Were they making fun of me?

Ah, maybe.

But that's what your friends do. Right?

Make fun of people.

Judge them.

Talk about people behind their back.

No.

No, Butter, my friends,

No, my friends don't make fun of people.

Really?

Anna Banana.

- Okay. Fine. Jeremy's a jerk. - Oh! No question.

But the rest of them have been nothing but nice to you.

That's not really fair of you to say.

It's because of my website, though.

Right. But whose fault is that?

You created a website, and then you published it

for the world to see, and now you're mad

when-when people notice you, or maybe feel bad for you.

I don't think it's sympathy when Parker's taking bets

to see how much I can eat before I puke.

Or how long it'll exactly take me to die.

No, that's Parker. He does that.

You're not the first person he's bet on to die.

I mean, last summer, he bet a hundred bucks on Trent,

that he would drown if he held his breath under water for four minutes.

Yeah, but am sure he doesn't actually want Trent to drown.

Exactly.

So, they don't actually think I'm gonna do it?

No, Butter, no one does.

I mean, don't you think that somebody

would have told on you by now?

I certainly would've.

I mean, that is... That's messed up.

If people thought you were actually going to die

and they never said anything, don't you think?

Maybe.

Uh, I'm really tired, and I have packing to do,

so maybe we can, work on this paper another time.

Sure.

What are you doing in here?

Don't touch my stuff.

Well, you haven't been playing it for weeks.

I can't remember a time

that you didn't pick this up every single day.

- Never? - Once.

Once when you were 11, and you had strep-throat

and I took it from you

and I locked it in my bedroom closet,

and you were so mad at me.

Are you mad at me now?

What's going on with you?

I'm just going through some stuff.

But I don't see you doing any homework.

I don't hear you talking about Tucker

and the brass band boys.

You're, you're hardly eating anything.

Mom, you worry way too much.

Mothers worry more than anyone.

♪ Hold on, baby hold on ♪

♪ Will this madness be here to stay ♪

♪ How can we make a living ♪

- Yo, what's up? - Agent Butter,

your mission, should you choose to accept it,

is to meet Trent Woods and Parker Johnson

in the high school parking lot at 0900 hours.

Excuse me?

- Dude, just play along. - Okay.

Come alone, and bring your big girl panties.

Maybe two.

Oh. And Butter,

Prepare for Awesome.

- Agent Butter. - Sorry, what the hell are those?

What's with the pails?

They are not pails, Butter,

- they're buckets. - Buckets?

We're on a mission to complete your bucket list.

I don't even have a bucket list.

- So I made a list for you. - Wait, what?

Do you swear to complete every item on this list

without question and with all the courage you can muster?

What? No, no, no. I'm not swearing shit till I see the list.

- I told you he'd want to see the list. - Dude, come on, man.

You're taking all the fun out of it.

Okay, fine. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, I swear.

Just tell me what the first thing on the list is.

Number one,

defend the 'Stang's honor in a race against Parker's 'Vette.

Okay, tell you guys, what.

Instead of a race,

how about you guys get in the 'Stang,

I open her up and show you what she can really do.

- Yeah, it's acceptable. - Okay, let's go.

Oh, wait, wait.

Most important part.

This is for you.

Yeah, yes.

It's yellow.

Oh.

- Makes it just... - It brings out your eyes.

- Oh, yeah. I wonder, why. - Oh. Because you look so good.

I know...

♪ One, two three, four, five six ♪

Whoo-hoo!

Yo! Take it easy!

Who's got their big girl panties on now, bitches?

Oh, my God!

This is insane!

Dude, 400 horsepower, let's go.

I had four wheels under my feet,

two friends at my side,

and this single thought in my head.

For the first time since I decided to face down death,

I felt really, truly alive.

Oh, I know you're not trying to make me jump off this cliff.

Number two, take a plunge into the Salt River.

No way!

Yeah. It seems safe-ish.

I'll jump if you jump.

- Ooh. - You know I've, uh...

- I've jumped this like 12 times, you know. - Yeah.

And plus, I hate the feeling of being wet. You know?

Hey, besides, it's your list, dude.

Forget it.

- What? - Hey.

- Alright. - That's for you.

Uh, you know what you assholes can do?

What?

Cross it off the list.

What? Dude.

Dude!

- Butter! - Butter!

- Butter, are you... - Hey!

Butter?

Dude.

Dude, that was awesome.

You nailed it.

Let's go.

- Butter, that was awesome. - Dude.

Dude, shut up. He's hurt or something. Are you all right?

- You alright? - Tip him, here.

That was awesome.

You were amazing! You crushed it.

Legendary, bro.

What's next?

This girl, this girl's got it all.

Like, she doesn't know what she's doing,

but she knows she's doing it.

Dude, this is a mom with wings.

You don't want to do a mom with wings.

You are the man.

We... It looks great.

♪ Been working so hard to fill my needs ♪

♪ 'Cause I got bitten by a hand that feeds ♪

♪ And I'm burning cash like gasoline ♪

♪ I'm back to the grind ♪

♪ All I wanted to say ♪

♪ Is I've been walking this line for too long ♪

♪ And all I wanted to say ♪

♪ You know the time has come ♪

♪ You're going to miss me when I'm gone ♪

♪ Don't miss me when I'm gone ♪

Awesome day, Butter.

- Bucket list almost complete. - Wait, almost?

- Dude, Anna McGinn. - Oh. Yeah, right.

Dude, I'm telling you, she likes you. She's just holding out

'cause of this Internet boyfriend.

Yeah, so long as he doesn't show at the party,

she should be all yours.

Wait, you're still going, right?

You know, to my New Year's party,

before, you know, before.

Yeah, sure. I'll be there.

All right, man.

Any shred of hope I had that Anna was right,

that none of them really expected me

to go through with my final meal,

disappeared with that single word.

"Before."

Oh! Look at that. That is beautiful honey.

Wow. Looks delicious.

Looks great, Mom.

Merry Christmas.

Okay.

Oh. Since it is Christmas,

don't you think we should maybe say grace first?

Yeah.

Would you like to lead us, baby?

I'll lead.

For what we are about to receive,

may the Lord make us truly grateful.

Good food.

Good meat.

Good Lord, let's eat. Amen.

Amen.

Christmas spread would have fed an army,

or, once upon a time, me and Uncle Luis.

This year, he's on his own.

As the days loom to New Year's Eve,

I just wasn't hungry anymore.

Period.

No?

♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪

♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪

♪ Peace on earth and mercy mild ♪

♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪

I just couldn't help myself when I saw it.

Sorry, honey.

Thanks, Ma.

Listen, baby, before you open

the rest of your real presents,

could you serenade us with a couple of Christmas songs?

Ma, I'm tired.

That's just the Turkey talking.

He barely ate. He's just being shy.

It would be so beautiful.

Please, baby, just for me?

Okay, Mom.

Was it too much to ask for Dad to suffer through one Christmas song?

Ooh!

Hey, I was kicking your ass.

Sorry dude, nature calls.

Hey, did you see the new promo for Fours and Sevens?

It looks pretty awesome.

No, I haven't seen it.

Here, let me show you.

What are you doing?

Uh, I was-I was trying to find the promo

for Fours and Sevens. What is that?

- What do you mean, final meal? - You know, it sounds like...

Yeah, Tucker, I know what it sounds like.

You're not doing this final meal garbage

and killing yourself.

No, Tuck, of course I'm not.

Then what is it?

It's, it's not what you think. Then give me the password.

That's really embarrassing, and I don't want you to see.

Swear it.

Remember the FitFab oath?

Say, I Butter, swear I'm telling the truth

and I'm not going out in some weird Internet sideshow.

I swear to work on myself before I give up on myself.

I Butter, swear I'm telling the truth

and that I'm not going out in some weird

Internet sideshow.

I swear to work on myself before giving up on myself.

Thank you.

So I leave for BI in a couple of days.

Yeah, I know.

And you better stay in touch so I can tell if you're going all...

Stepford on me.

And you better stay in touch too,

- so I know if you're not, you know... - Suicidal?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Trust me, Tuck, I,

- You're the first person I'd call. - Good.

All right, and if you need me, I'll be in first place.

♪ Well on that street ♪

♪ You bought your scar from my way down ♪

♪ Had my fortune told ♪

♪ And that green-eyed gypsy ♪

♪ Oh so shakes me ♪

♪ She says that the pain is what makes me ♪

♪ Whole ♪

♪ And I thought I could do right by you ♪

♪ Thought I could do some right by us ♪

♪ Both ♪

♪ And oh my love I am so sorry ♪

♪ Sorry's all the things I always owe ♪

♪ And I have grown so good at those ♪

♪ And I... ♪

Merry Christmas. I just got back from Miami.

Happy holidays. I missed you. How was your vacation?

Uh. Not so great. I don't suppose you know anything about writing

persuasive papers?

Don't you have friends at school who can look it over?

Well, this one kid was going to help me,

but I think he was more interested in me than my paper.

Sounds like you got a stalker.

Don't be jealous.

Trust me, I am not interested.

- He's big. - Big?

Like big hands, big feet. Big...

I mean, he's huge.

Like one of those people you see on TV

who can't get out of bed or leave their house.

Sorry that fat ass freaked you out.

What a loser.

He's not a loser.

He's this really nice, funny guy.

And everyone likes him... He's just obese.

I feel bad for him.

But I wouldn't like him, fat or thin,

because I already have you.

Oh, yeah? What if I'm huge too?

Yeah, right.

Like you can be fat and play all those sports.

I could be covered in zits

or have one arm, or three eyeballs.

Well, I'll see for myself soon enough,

just one more day until the big reveal.

Yeah, until the one-armed, zit-covered Triclops

crashes your friend's party.

Tough to play the sax with one arm.

But any guy who writes a song for me

and plays it the way you do is sexy, no matter what you look like.

- I'll see you tomorrow night. - -Goodnight, handsome.

All of a sudden, it was New Year's Eve.

It felt like no time had passed

since I posted my plans for the world to see.

And yet, everything was different.

I looked thinner. Maybe even below 400 pounds.

Well, if I'm going to go out,

I'm going to do it in style.

♪ Wait out here ♪

♪ I'll be back for you, my dear ♪

♪ The party is over ♪

♪ But we still got us plenty of beer ♪

Hey, what's up, Butter?

- You look so nice. - He looks good, bro.

- Yeah, at least he's got the suit on. - Right?

Hey, Butter, Lookin' sharp.

Yeah, Happy New Year.

- Where's your drink? - What?

Where is...

Never mind.

It's really warm and crowded in here.

- You want to go outside? - Yeah.

Um...

I'm stuck.

Here.

- I got you. - You got to be kidding.

You think Parker really cares?

Oh, God, oh, god. Okay.

There we go.

- Graceful as always. - Great.

♪ You're a drug to me my dear ♪

Jeanie. Jeanie.

Ooh.

- Oh. - I love this.

- You are wasted. - No, you're wasted.

I'm going to need you to control all this

before JP gets here, so you don't embarrass me.

- Please? - JP, Shmae-pee.

He's not coming, is he?

Truth be told, I didn't like that song.

Oh, God. Oh, God!

Oh. Gross!

- Just lay down. - All right.

You're fine.

She's fine.

That was, uh, rude.

The part about your boyfriend, not the barf.

Yeah, he's the guy from the Internet, right?

That's right.

I forgot somebody

told everybody

that I met JP online.

At least she's nasty to your face.

Not just behind your back.

Ah, you're doing it again.

You're trash-talking my friends.

Sorry.

So you're gonna recognize this guy

when he shows up?

Yeah, I will recognize him.

- How's that? - I just will.

You know, I can't explain it.

You'll know because he'll be some four-foot-tall guy

with acne.

Or one arm and three eyeballs.

Inside joke?

Yeah, kind of.

I know everyone thinks I'm crazy.

But I just know him, you know?

And even if he is four-foot tall covered in zits,

I wouldn't care.

At least I'll get over it, or whatever.

But I fell in love with who he is,

not what he looks like.

Wait right here.

No. Where are you going?

♪ I'll be back for you my dear ♪

All right, Jeanie. Come on.

Let's go dance.

- Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa. Whoa! - Hey!

- What's the rush? - John Belushi.

Sorry. I just got to grab something out of my car, real quick.

Well, hurry up, Butter. We're getting in the pool.

- Yeah. - Jeanie just threw up in the pool.

- Hell, no. - Oh, man.

- That pool's seen way worse. - Yeah, you're right.

We have alcohol.

♪ Hidden behind the window and the door ♪

♪ Searching for signs of life ♪

♪ But there's nobody home ♪

Butter.

I had no idea.

I wanted to tell you for the longest time.

It's just, well,

JP plays the sax too.

Right, yeah.

What's wrong?

Oh. Yeah. No, it's, I'm fine.

I'm just gonna jam out a little bit.

Guys, guys.

Butter's gonna play with the band.

♪ It was good living with you oh-oh ♪

♪ It was good ah-ah-ah ♪

What?

I had never played better.

And each note was pitch perfect.

It was just how I'd pictured it.

All of them seeing me for the first time.

Rooting for me to live, instead of rooting for me to die.

I'd given West Scottsdale High

another reason to celebrate me.

And maybe even another reason to keep me around.

Guys, cut it.

Come on, Butter.

Oh, shit.

Anna.

Anna.

Anna, just please, let me explain.

That you're JP?

You're a stalker, and a pervert.

Anna, just let me explain, please.

Just,

Oh.

You're a liar.

You're a disgusting liar, and I hate you.

Did you hear me?

I said, I hate you.

Just give me five minutes please.

Five minutes. I can explain everything.

What's going on, boys and girls?

Butter and banana having...

Just get lost, Jeremy.

Is he bothering you?

No, you're bothering us. Hey, just back off.

Hey, man.

Why are you always trying to run away from me? Huh?

Well, it's a lot easier if you don't have five friends

pinning me to the ground.

Wow.

Someone can hold a grudge.

Hey, Anna. Did you know I gave,

Butter here, his nickname?

Just shut up and go away.

Look, dude. Yeah.

Anna's way out of your league.

It's too bad for you too,

because, she has some serious talents.

Hey, you know what? It's 10:30.

Aren't you cuttin' it a little close? Hmm.

Don't you have somethin' you gotta do tonight?

Right?

Oh. Where are those butterballs now? Huh?

Jeremy, are you okay?

Anna, what do I do?

Honestly, Butter, I don't care what you do.

Butter, wait!

♪ I've been in love ♪

♪ Honey, you know it's true ♪

♪ Well, since that day ♪

♪ I first laid my eyes on you ♪

♪ Love is a crazy game, baby ♪

♪ It's how I feel ♪

♪ Makes you all so high ♪

♪ But it takes so long to heal ♪

♪ So please, yeah yeah Won't you stay with me? ♪

♪ 'Cause since you gone, It's all pain and misery ♪

♪ Honey, please, yeah yeah ♪

♪ Won't you stay with me? ♪

♪ 'Cause since you gone ♪

♪ It's pain and misery ♪

I didn't want to die.

I just wanted the unbearable pain to go away.

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven,

Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One.

Happy New Year!

I woke up in heaven.

A face identical to Anna's took shape.

Butter.

The face of an angel.

Butter.

- Baby? - Mom.

Baby, you don't have to talk, it's okay.

Welcome back, son.

I just need you to nod that you... understand me.

Mm-hmm.

And you know, you're in a hospital.

Uh-huh.

And you're going to be just fine.

Just fine.

It's okay for him to sleep.

It's normal to be very tired at first.

He's good.

Morning, sugar,

or afternoon, as the case may be.

It's from Penelope.

You sure got a lot of friends.

Friends.

Professor Dunn brought those by.

Honey,

Oh.

I love you so much.

I'm so sorry, Mom.

It's okay.

I'm so sorry, Mom.

It's okay. It's okay.

No.

You can't have the knife.

Why not?

Because you can't have anything sharp yet.

Hi, again.

Where should I put these?

Let me,

let me take 'em and get 'em some water, okay?

- Okay. - Okay. Bye.

Do you mind taking this away,

I'm not real hungry.

Of course.

Thank you.

Happy New Year.

New Year's was the day before yesterday.

You've been out for two days.

- I shouldn't have said... - I'm sorry to treat you...

You should go first.

I was here when you woke up.

I know.

I saw you.

Thought you were an angel.

How are you feeling?

Tired.

Two days of sleeping, and I'm tired.

I mean, is it really sleeping when you're in a coma?

I'm just happy I'm here.

Yeah, that's, um,

kind of my fault.

I called the police.

Thank you.

Sounds like it would have been my funeral, if it weren't for you.

- Isn't that what you wanted? - It's complicated.

Anna, I'm really, really sorry.

- I didn't... - Wait, wait, wait.

There's something I-I,

need to say before I lose my nerve.

No, you can say anything to me.

That's just it. I don't...

feel that way.

I look at you and I see...

I know what you see.

It's fair.

But you're no better.

I mean, you hate it when people size you up from the outside,

but that is exactly what you did to me.

You didn't even know me, before you found me online, and started talking to me.

And you, you only knew what I looked like

and you already liked me.

Based on nothing else.

I did get to know you.

Do you really think that?

Because I feel like the person I got to know

doesn't exist at all.

There's a reason why I don't post pictures on the Internet.

It's because...

When JP liked me, without a photo,

I thought that he was taking as much of a chance on me

as I was on him.

I get it.

Let's say JP was real,

but he looked like me.

Would you still have given him that kind of a chance?

I see you, and you're someone I just met.

I don't know you well enough

to trust you or confide in you.

Sometimes I feel like,

JP was the only person that I could really talk to.

This morning, before I came here,

I sat at my computer for an hour,

waiting for him to come online.

You didn't believe I was JP?

I didn't want to believe it.

But then I realized, if I wanted to talk to JP,

I would have to come here and talk to him to his face.

What do you want to say to him?

That I hate him,

and that I will never forgive him,

and that he doesn't deserve me.

But what I really want to say is goodbye.

Hey, awake!

Welcome back, my friend.

Whoa. Those guys are creepy, huh?

I'm kiddin'. Welcome back, man. All in one piece?

- How're you feeling? - Yeah, I was just trying to talk...

A lady. Oh.

Are you,

Your lady?

Okay.

Um, I was just leaving.

Anna! No, wait.

Oh.

Yeah, she's, she's definitely upset.

I get it. Maybe for what you did to her?

I know I'm upset too.

So, should I leave too?

No, I'm kiddin'.

Is it true that this wasn't all an accident?

- Doc, I'm sorry. Alright? - Hey, you know what? Save the apologies.

I feel like you're gonna be giving out a lot of those in the next few days.

You can take mine and maybe give it to your lady too.

Okay? But I do need you to promise me one thing.

You're never gonna put me in this position ever again.

Yeah, I-I promise.

You know, your mom and dad, they,

you caused them a lot of pain.

Look, we are extremely glad

that-that you're still here.

But, uh, you know, you can talk to us.

Anytime.

There's no shame in that.

Thanks, Doc.

Tried to remove the roach, but,

only managed to pull out two spiky legs.

Hi, honey.

Hey.

- We brought you your backpack. - Oh, thank you.

No laptop?

I don't think that's a really good idea just yet.

Come on, Mom.

If the hospital doesn't think I'm gonna kill myself

with one of these pens,

how am I supposed to do it with my laptop?

That's exactly what you did.

You know, not everyone finds this as funny as you do.

Now while you're here in the hospital,

your mom and I think the focus should be

on getting you better.

But until then,

I thought you would like to have this.

I've missed hearin' it around the house.

Yeah, right.

You know, your grandpa taught your Uncle Luis and me how to play football.

In fact, he was our coach all the way up until high school.

- Did I ever tell you that? - No.

Well, then, and his dad taught him

how to play baseball.

So, when you, picked this up, I, uh...

You could coach me in algebra.

No, I think I missed the chance to be your coach.

But, if it's not too late,

I would like to be a fan.

I'd like that.

- Dad? - Yeah?

Why are we so,

How come we're not more alike?

You and I?

We're not that different, son.

I still go to the mountain too.

What's that?

- Well, this is a saxophone. - What's a saxophone?

Well, it's an instrument. You use it to make music.

What kind of sounds does it make?

What's your name?

Well, people call me Butter.

Why do they call you that?

Because he makes that saxophone there

sound as smooth as butter.

No, he doesn't. He makes it sound like farts.

As entertaining as that may be,

can I steal you away?

I know what you're going to say.

Well, I know you've been read the Riot Act,

but, I came to help.

I spent over an hour talking you up

to that gentleman today.

Who is it?

Well, he's at Julliard.

He's also a phenomenally talented saxophonist.

And?

And, he'll be in town next month,

and he's willing to hear you play.

Now, if he likes what he hears,

he can recommend you for an audition to Julliard.

But I wasn't applying for colleges until next year.

I don't even know if I'm planning to study music.

Yeah, well, it sounds to me like you're not planning

much of anything.

Your parents told me they weren't sure

if you were coming back to school.

So I took it upon myself to make this call.

I mean, it's just an idea.

It's, it's completely up to you.

But, I think he'd be impressed.

You have an immense talent.

I mean, you know, symphony of flatulence

notwithstanding.

- Right. - Right.

- Let's go get some Jell-O. - Let's go get some Jell-O.

I hope they got sugar-free.

What I think is even better

is that they're really focused on the whole student

-and making sure that they're all, -Mm.

- Self-motivated. - Okay, fine.

I'll go, I get it. I did something crazy.

So, I don't blame you for wanting to send me away.

Send you away? What are you talking about?

Yeah, to the Institute.

What, you told him he would go up there alone?

No. I-I, we didn't talk about it.

I mean, I just assumed that he...

Assumed what?

We would never send you up to Chicago all alone.

I don't understand. Where would I live?

With us. We'd all...

move to Chicago together.

Yeah, a lot of my clients do business in Chicago.

And, you know, it would only be for about a year.

And there are plenty of houses that I could sell in Chicago.

I could even use my new sign.

We'd move?

All of us?

We're not forcing you.

Okay? We're just, gathering information.

Do you think I should go?

Well, that would be your choice.

Hello.

Doctor.

See you in a little while.

Okay.

I'm Dr. Jennice.

I'm a psychiatrist.

- So, are you here to see if I'm, crazy? - Not really.

But, kind of.

It's my job to make sure you're safe to go home

before we can legally discharge you.

Charlie Parker.

My favorite Charlie Parker song is "Chasing the Bird."

You have good taste. Its theme contains two simultaneous

interlocking melodies

played by the alto sax and the trumpet.

Only one Yardbird ever played.

Yardbird, I heard he got that nickname

because he would listen to bands from the yard of a club.

Yeah, I've heard that one too.

But, actually it was because he loved eating chicken.

And they called them yard birds back then.

Could you imagine a world without Charlie Parker?

What do you mean?

He tried to take his own life too.

And cheat the world out of his music?

Yep.

Same could be said for you.

You almost cheated yourself

out of a productive life.

And for the first time, I'm...

I'm glad I'm still here.

You have a lot of admirers on your website.

I still have a website?

Well, actually, your mom shut it down.

But she did print several pages first.

For what? My scrapbook?

Do you know that people can get into trouble

for bullying someone into doing something dangerous?

- Even over the Internet. - I wasn't bullied.

"Only a guy with an ass as fat as yours

could eat all that in one sitting."

Okay. So some kids are jerks.

But that doesn't mean all the comments were that mean.

"You're so stupid for trying this,

I hope you do die."

I-I know what they say.

But you're only reading the negative comments.

Why don't you read some of the positive ones?

Because there aren't any.

Bullying can take lots of forms.

Sometimes it can look like encouragement.

It's not their fault.

I mean, it's nobody's fault but my own. Right?

I just felt so beat up at home, at school...

Most of all, by myself.

I scheduled an appointment for you

to meet Dr. Lang, a psychologist.

You understand how important it is

for you to start therapy,

to have a plan.

Yeah.

Think it'll help with my weight?

Do you know how much you weigh?

423, no. Uh, 409.

At least... No, it might be a little less now.

- 372. - What?

You weigh 372 pounds.

That's impossible.

I was 409 at my last appointment.

They weighed you while you were in a coma.

That's like 50 pounds since Thanksgiving.

Lucky you.

Most of us gain weight during the holidays.

I think we're good.

By the way,

what's your favorite Charlie Parker song?

Same as you, "Chasing the Bird".

♪ Come on fly with me ♪

♪ Take a ride with me ♪

♪ And it feels so good to break away ♪

♪ Drink champagne music all day ♪

♪ Come on fly with me. ♪

♪ Get high with me ♪

♪ So high ♪

What, no funny face?

Because you're not a baby anymore.

Mom, you know I can't eat these.

It's a new recipe.

Low calorie comfort foods.

I thought that...

you and I could go through it and find some things

that look good to you.

They smell awesome, Mom.

Mmm.

Mom's pancakes were from another world.

I wondered how she managed to make them taste so sweet

without any maple syrup in sight.

It was more than food.

It was a message from Mom that she messed up too.

It was a promise to do better.

And that tasted greater than anything.

You know, it looks like there's a pretty good line-up

at the jazz fest.

We should get tickets.

That'd be great, Dad.

Come in.

Thanks, Mom.

I don't think you should go back on the Internet quite yet.

Mom, I'm just going to play games and stuff, okay?

You got nothing to worry about.

I knew you were suffering,

but I didn't know you didn't want to live anymore.

You could have told me.

Mom, you can't blame yourself.

I'm trying to stop tormenting myself.

I want you to know that life can and will get better.

And you are not alone.

There are so many people out there

going through bad times,

and there are so many people here,

that love you.

I love you, Mom.

I love you too.

Can we just start over?

I would love that.

Oh, my wonderful son.

Dear Butter, thank God you're okay.

We are so sorry for what we did.

We care about you, and want you to know

we take full responsibility for our stupid actions.

We didn't know you were serious when you posted your website.

It grabbed our attention and we thought we could have some fun making some bets.

But as we got to know you, we enjoyed becoming your friend.

We realize now we should have taken it seriously and reached out to you.

Dude, you got a great life ahead.

Butter, we're really happy you're still here

and hope you get well soon.

Trent and Parker.

♪ I've got Patience I can wait ♪

♪ But you've been taking all damn day ♪

♪ I've got no more time to waste ♪

What?

- ♪ You better show up ♪ - Huh?

♪ Know what you need to say

Hi.

Hi.

What's in the bag?

Books for school.

We started back today.

I'm not going back.

I thought you were done with me.

I mean, that goodbye...

I said goodbye to JP.

That's what I get for meeting a guy on the Internet.

They still teasing you about that at school?

No, I'm already old news.

And me.

Am I old news?

Oh, no.

You are all anyone can talk about.

Some people actually thought you died,

because you didn't show up today.

And then some theater kids called it a performance art.

Performance art?

- Performance art. - Right.

Jeez.

Are you sure don't want to come back to school?

Why would I want to?

I'm just going to go back to being

that same nameless loser I always was.

- Whoa! Hey. - Oww!

What did I say about talking about my friends like that?

Wait, friends?

Yeah, we could be.

We just need a reset button.

So hi, I'm Anna.

Nice to meet you, Anna. I'm Marshall.

- Marshall? - Yeah.

Ah, pleasure to meet you, Marshall.

The pleasure's all mine.

I think you should come back to school tomorrow.

I don't know.

I don't think I'm ever gonna fit in.

Professor Dunn saved you a spot.

And I will be there to support you.

I'll think about it.

- Promise? - I promise.

♪ Reach out ♪

♪ It could be better than a fantasy ♪

♪ I keep my eyes on the prize, baby ♪

♪ I keep my eyes on the prize, baby ♪

♪ I got my levels out of place last night it was a long one ♪

♪ Looking for a quick fix looking for a shortcut ♪

Hey, welcome back, Marshall.

Hey.

Hey, what's up, Marshall.?

Hey, Marshall's back.

- Oh, hey, man. - Hey.

- Hey, Jeanie. - Hey, Marshall.

- Glad you're back. - Yeah.

- Hi. - Hey, Penelope.

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ I think of us ♪

Hey, I'll see you in class, okay?

Hey bud, so you are back in band with us, huh?

Yeah, yeah. I got new reeds and everything.

- Got the sax all set up. - I'm so excited.

Yeah.

♪ Ayy-ohh ♪

♪ Got me singing ayy-ohh ♪

Do you know how Jupiter got its name?

- No. - The Romans knew about seven bright objects up in the sky,

the sun, the moon, and the five brightest planets.

They named all of them after their most important guys.

Jupiter being the largest,

was named after the King of the Roman gods.

I guess that does make sense.

Why is that?

'Cause bigger is better.

Nah. No.

Hmm.

You okay, there?

Yeah.

I had forgotten just how beautiful this place is.

Your dad used to bring me here when we were first dating.

I love it.

I brought Anna here once.

Oh, it wasn't like that.

I mean, we're just friends.

She's an awfully pretty girl.

Totally not my type.

Of course not. Ha.

I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it all before.

I know how hard you tried.

I'm sorry too.

Would you play us something?

For you?

Of course.

Oh, thank you.

I spent an awful lot of time

blaming other people for my problems.

But when it came down to making the decision

between life and death,

it was my own mistakes that pushed me over the edge.

Doc Bean was right.

There is no shame in talking with someone to get help.

Mom, Dad, and the professor were there for me.

But I told the lies that backed me into a corner,

which led me to make the biggest mistake of all.

But I survived that mistake,

and the payoff was this second chance,

a big cosmic do-over.

I could audition for Julliard.

And possibly secure a spot at the most prestigious

school of music in the country.

Or, next year, I could attend the Institute

with the support of Mom and Dad.

I felt comforted by the fact that I had options,

frightening, risky, intimidating options,

but they were my options.

My opportunities to choose from.

I will never back myself into a corner again.

♪ When you're feeling in times of doubt ♪

♪ Your head's in the clouds ♪

♪ You look around like where's the ground ♪

♪ Oh you wanna feel it now ♪

♪ Am I running out of breath ♪

♪ But don't count your steps ♪

♪ Count your blessed forget the rest ♪

♪ Look at all the good instead ♪

♪ But when you fall in troubled times ♪

♪ Just know that the sun will rise ♪

♪ Uncountless times ♪

♪ Open your eyes and celebrate tonight ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Let the love flood you ♪

♪ Just look around you got people who love you ♪

♪ People who love you ♪

♪ People who love you ♪

♪ Just look around you got people who love you ♪

♪ Trouble shows up unannounced ♪

♪ And we need our family around ♪

♪ Come running now it's safe inside this is our house ♪

♪ If the rain starts coming down ♪

♪ Oh just dance among the crowd ♪

♪ Let it flood let it flood ♪

♪ Let the love fall around ♪

♪ When we fall to our knees ♪

♪ Oh we just begging for relief ♪

♪ Clear your mind open your eyes ♪

♪ It'll be if you believe ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Let the love flood you ♪

♪ Just look around you got people who love you ♪

♪ People who love you ♪

♪ People who love you ♪

♪ Just look around you got people who love you ♪

♪ People who love you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You light up in the dark ♪

♪ You are the glory ♪

♪ And a priceless work of art ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ I see ♪

♪ I see a shining star ♪

♪ You're the light through my window ♪

♪ From afar ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ And don't you forget ♪

♪ The only thing that matters ♪

♪ Is your heartbeat going strong ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh Don't you forget ♪

♪ That nothing else can matter ♪

♪ 'Cause you know where I belong ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me home ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me home ♪

♪ We light up the sky ♪ oh-oh ♪

♪ Heaven knows there's no such thing as goodbye ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Because love ♪

♪ Love can never die ♪

♪ Love can never die ♪

♪ We'll forever be bonded you and I ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ And don't you forget ♪

♪ The only thing that matters ♪

♪ Is our heartbeats going strong ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh don't you forget ♪

♪ That nothing else could matter ♪

♪ 'Cause we know where I belong ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me home ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me home ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me home ♪

♪ Oh-oh take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me there ♪

♪ Won't you take me ♪