Original subtitles

I'm often asked...

... what is it that makes us different?

What separates firefighters from ordinary citizens?

The answer is simple.

We will go where others will not.

Today, we honor those members of the LAFD

who acted so courageously

during the Oceanus Blue cruise ship disaster last March.

Acting captain, Henrietta Wilson.

[APPLAUSE]

Firefighter Howard Han.

Firefighter pilot Thomas Kindard.

Firefighter Evan Buckley.

And firefighter Edmundo Diaz.

Without their singular tenacity and selflessness,

and unmatched skill and teamwork,

so many more lives would've been lost.

Firefighters, on behalf of the Los Angeles Fire Department

of the City of Los Angeles, we thank you.

[CHEERING AND WHOOPING]

[WHOOPS]

But we're not quite done.

The quality of teamwork displayed here

is a reflection not only of each individual's dedication,

but the leadership of Captain Robert Nash.

Captain Nash,

for your record of outstanding service and leadership,

in and out of uniform,

the Los Angeles Fire Department would like to honor you

with this Medal of Valor.

Captain.

[APPLAUSE]

Oh, uh, how about if I just hang on to it?

[BOBBY CLEARS THROAT]

Um...

This isn't the first time

these people have pulled me out of the drink.

In more ways than one.

Not sure why I deserve a medal for it.

In my opinion,

you got it right the first five times.

[APPLAUSE]

["HOME ON THE RANGE" BY BARRY WHITE PLAYING]

Man, isn't it crazy?

We thought we were gonna get fired. And instead, we all got medals.

- Enjoy it while it lasts. - That's my motto.

Hey, Ravi, you know you don't have to eat everything

at the buffet, right?

Why else would I be here on my day off?

[CHUCKLES]

So, that's him, huh?

That's your old Cap?

[TOMMY] Yeah, that's Gerard.

The way you guys talk about him, I assumed he was dead.

Only in our hearts.

Kindard. I thought you transferred out of here.

Five years ago.

I've been at Harbor Station ever since.

That's right, I heard you got your wings.

You know, it's good to see you haven't changed at all, Cap.

It's good to see you didn't forget your training, Han.

These floors are nice and shiny.

You taught me right.

Whenever I see some filth, I think of you.

? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ?

? Whoa... ?

- Oh. Thank you. - [CHUCKLES]

Okay, so where's your award?

Oh, I'm just waiting on my refund check from the cruise line.

[LAUGHS]

? I wanna know... ?

What do you think that's about?

?

I have no idea.

? I want to go home. ?

Firefighter Wilson?

I just wanted to congratulate you personally.

Olivia Ortiz.

Councilwoman Ortiz.

That's right.

I am so sorry for your loss, ma'am.

Thank you.

You must be very proud of your hero wife.

I am.

Sadly, her heroics didn't extend to my son.

Mama, can we have some more cake?

Are these your children?

This is, uh, Denny and Mara.

Mm. I was told you only had a son.

Mara's about to become my new sister.

- [ORTIZ] Oh. - They're adopting me.

Oh, that's adorable.

You know, children are such a blessing.

Enjoy your moment.

Not too much cake.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

[BOBBY] You know, your name should really be on this, too.

I asked them to include you, but...

Except I'm not actually a firefighter. [CHUCKLES]

Is that what you and Chief Simpson were arguing about?

Wasn't really an argument.

He was trying to talk me out of something

and he realized he couldn't, so he just finally accepted it.

Accepted what?

My resignation.

I don't understand why you wouldn't talk to me about this.

I'm just retiring.

This had to happen at some point.

And you know as well as I do

that no one can do this job forever.

Well, I sure as hell thought we were gonna try.

Well, I'm tired of trying.

Tonight was exhausting.

Chief Simpson having us trot out there to perform

for the cameras like a bunch of trained seals.

We stand there and smile and everybody thinks we're heroes.

You are.

I'm not.

Look...

I know that you're under a lot of pressure.

And I get needing to take a break

or maybe even wanting to walk away from it all,

but I'm worried that you're not thinking clearly.

I mean, given everything that you've been through...

Oh, you mean the universe deciding

to drop a living reminder

of my greatest failure on my doorstep?

- Yeah, that's a lot. - You saved that man's life.

It didn't make any difference.

Look, if this is what you need, I will support it.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.

That's okay. You just surprised me.

And you know how I feel about surprises.

Well, for what it's worth, you're not alone.

Chief Simpson was pretty surprised, too,

having his star captain resign at an event

that was supposed to honor his star firehouse.

He asked me not to tell anybody about it

until he figures out how he wants to spin it.

Look, I got to get out of this.

And you're really sure about this?

Walking away from the 118?

I don't have anything more to give.

[SIGHS]

[BIRDS SINGING]

?

Have you figured it out yet?

Figured what out?

Why I seem so familiar to you.

I don't know what you mean.

[CHUCKLES] Come on.

Every time you think I'm not looking,

you're looking.

Am I?

It's driving you nuts, isn't it?

[EXHALES]

I was on a TV show called Failed System.

- You were on a TV show. - Series regular.

Big network show about a young team of lawyers

who fight to get the wrongly accused out of prison.

Wow, a TV star.

Hardly.

That show lasted exactly 13 episodes.

Well, seven. That's all they aired.

Then it got cancelled.

But every once in a while,

someone gets that same look you have.

Like... they know me from someplace.

Well, maybe that's it, then.

Or maybe I just like looking at you.

Then why haven't you tried to kiss me?

I didn't know you wanted me to.

Mm, no.

That's not it.

I think it's something else.

I think you're very careful

about letting people into your life.

And not because you've been hurt.

I mean, who hasn't been?

I think you're cautious because...

... you have more to give than you think anyone can take.

Sounds like you've been looking, too.

- [INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT] - [PHONES RINGING]

Hey, I got a message

about an emergency with one of my patients?

[ATHENA] Mr. Casey?

Hey, sorry, just one second, I'm dealing with...

A patient emergency, I know.

I'm the one who asked them to call you.

You're Captain Nash's wife.

I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to you.

So you lied to my coworkers and faked an emergency?

I didn't lie about anything.

I think my husband is in trouble.

And you may be the only person who can help me save him.

So he never told you he was thinking about quitting?

No, but honestly, I don't think he did think about it.

I mean, it felt impulsive.

Well, admittedly, I don't know your husband very well,

but Nash doesn't seem like the impulsive type.

Well, normally, he isn't.

But then again,

normally he wouldn't drive alone into the middle of a desert

to have a conversation with a man

who doesn't want to talk to him.

Okay, that's fair.

I realize that...

this probably sounds crazy.

A silly wife with too much time on her hands.

No, those aren't words I would use to describe you.

But... is there a chance you're reading into it too much?

The one thing that you have to learn in my line of work

is how to read people.

It's easy to get caught up in what they're saying

and how they're moving.

And really easy to miss what's really going on under the surface.

If you know what to look for,

there's this moment

and you can see them when they decide

they have nothing left to lose.

It just ripples across their face.

And you think you see that look on your husband's face?

For years, Bobby has been walking...

this tightrope.

Trying to embrace the life

that he has now while...

honoring the one that he left behind.

And it was a delicate balance.

Your arrival in his life has upset that equilibrium.

He's fallen, Mr. Casey.

And I need you to help him find his way back to solid ground.

["I HEAR THE DAY HAS COME" BY MATT MALTESE PLAYING]

[ALARM RINGING]

? See the girl stand... ?

All right, get me a ladder up to that second floor!

? See the old friends ?

? Sit and talk ?

You look lost.

[HEN SIGHS]

This adoption paperwork is kind of overwhelming.

I thought you said the adoption hearing was just a formality.

You know me, prepare for the worst.

[BOBBY] I think that's pretty much the entire LAFD handbook.

- You got this. - Mara's been through so much.

I just want her to know she finally is a part of a family again.

You just welcome her into your family the way

you welcomed me into this one, and she'll be fine.

Just don't forget.

Mara and Denny aren't the only kids you're raising, Mother Hen.

? See your father ?

? In your mother's arms... ?

Hold on. All right, Ravi, why do we fold these to the edge?

- It's protocol. - That's right,

but if you leave a loop and stick your arm through like so,

makes for a faster carry.

? See the writer... ?

[BOBBY] That's it, Ravi.

Double time, up the stairwell.

Second floor, let's go, go, go, go!

? They've seen it all, but they ain't seen this before... ?

- All set. - All right.

? And I might have it wrong ?

- What, uh, what are you making? - Not me.

You.

- Wha... Uh... - You're the chef tonight.

Let's see what you got.

Dispatch, I need an additional four rescue units

and four task force units, let's go!

Eddie, I was going through some things, and I found this.

Made me think of you. Just hang onto it.

- _ - It might come in handy.

? I could swim ?

? It might all just be all right ?

? Hey... ?

I can't believe you're letting him cook again.

Well, he's gotten so good at it.

Well, he had a good teacher.

? See the painters... ?

All right, they're coming out now.

? Paint once more ?

? They've seen it all ?

? But they ain't seen this before ?

? And I might have had it wrong ?

? But I hear the day has come... ?

My work here is done.

[LAUGHTER]

? I might have had it wrong ?

? But I hear the day has come. ?

[EXHALES]

Uh, hey, Cap.

You were really on your game this shift.

And I'm not just talking about your cooking.

Uh, wow, uh... thanks.

Yeah.

Buck, I don't say this often enough.

You've come a really long way.

You're not the same impulsive hothead

who walked through those doors seven years ago.

Wow, has it, uh, has it really been that long?

It has.

Well, here's to seven more.

Yeah.

You going to see Tommy?

Listen, uh...

I kn... I know we haven't really talked about him.

Well, what's there to talk about?

Tommy's good people, he's good for you.

How do you know that?

'Cause we haven't had to talk about it.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Good night, Buck.

- Oh, uh, hey, uh... Cap? - Yeah?

Thanks.

You know... for everything.

It's been my pleasure, kid.

[EXHALES]

[BUCK] Uh... Hey, can I help you?

Hi, yeah, um... I'm looking for Eddie Diaz?

Sorry, this is the 118 fire station, right?

[STAMMERING] Uh, yes, yes.

Uh, you-you said you were looking for Eddie?

Yeah. I made brownies.

I-I'm sorry. Who-who did you say you were?

I'm Kim.

Kim.

You know, you-you actually just missed him.

Well, shoot.

Guess I should've called first.

Would you mind giving him these for me?

Uh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Tell him I'll just get the dish back next time I see him.

Sure.

Thanks.

Place looks bigger in person than it does on FaceTime.

Bye.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Hey.

Uh, hey. Uh... can I come in?

[CHUCKLES] Of course.

Why are you skulking around my back door?

Well, I just, I wasn't sure who would be here.

Well, Chris is in his room. We just had dinner.

Okay, but Marisol, she's not, right?

No. Why are you acting so weird?

Something in those brownies?

Uh, that's maybe a good question.

Um... I don't know.

Buck, what's going on?

Uh, you remember when Shannon brought a donation

to the Christmas toy drive at the firehouse

and that was, uh, that was kind of surprising, right?

[CHUCKLES] What made you think of that?

This was more surprising.

Eddie, who-who's Kim?

She came by the firehouse?

She did.

Uh, she brought some baked goods

and she wanted to see you, Eddie.

And she-she kind of made it seem like she was your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

Marisol's my girlfriend.

Kim's just... a friend.

Just a-a friend who's a dead ringer for your late wife?

Yeah.

What's going on here?

Nothing.

Nothing's going on.

We met a couple weeks ago when we were at the Promenade.

- We? - Yeah, me and Marisol and Christopher.

Okay, great, they-they've met her?

No.

I mean, I s... I saw her.

And... yeah.

She looks a lot like Shannon.

So I went back.

Turns out, she's a really nice person, so...

Uh, we struck up a kind of friendship, that's it.

[WRY CHUCKLE] You, uh, you mean you're seeing her.

We've hung out a few times.

Okay? It's not like we're having an affair.

- Nothing's happened. - You haven't had sex.

Exactly. It's not even what I want from her.

Okay, so what do you want?

I... don't know.

Does this poor woman know that she is a carbon copy

of your dead wife?

Hasn't really come up.

I'm worried about you.

Yeah.

I'm worried about me, too.

Okay. Who wants dessert?

I got some freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies.

Since when does he freshly bake?

More like "freshly reheated."

The actual baking happened at that new market on Third.

Turned on an oven. That still counts.

- [LAUGHTER] - [DENNY] Can I have two? One for later?

Uh, no, you cannot.

[WHISPERS] Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes.

I heard that.

Karen has preternaturally sharp hearing.

Hears everything.

Can I have another cookie, please?

Of course, sweetheart.

[LAUGHS]

Great, now they're coconspirators.

Aw, more like siblings.

I can't believe how great she's doing.

I-I think seeing her little brother was the key.

You know, I finally feel like she trusts us

and she wants to be part of our family.

- [PHONE RINGING] - Oh, that's me. Sorry.

[CHIMNEY] Cap, yesterday, he surprised me.

- He seemed different. - What do you mean?

- He was in a great mood. - Yeah, maybe too great of a mood.

Especially after what he said at the ceremony.

I feel like something's going on with him.

I asked Athena about it.

She said there was nothing to worry about?

- But... ? - She seemed worried.

- About what? - [KAREN] Hen?

T-That was Deidre. Uh...

Uh...

Our adoption hearing was canceled.

We're not going before the judge on Wednesday.

Well, what happened?

- They're rescheduling it? - No.

No, it's... it's off the docket completely.

Apparently, the judge has some concerns about our petition.

Well, I thought this hearing was just a formality.

It was supposed to be.

[KAREN] But what Deidre said,

that she's never seen this happen before.

She thinks that...

well, someone must have talked to the judge,

but she doesn't know who.

I know exactly who.

?

- Are you okay? - [KIM] I...

[STAMMERS]

I mean, if I didn't know better, even I'd say this was me.

Yeah. You even sound like her.

But I'm not her.

I know.

She died?

Almost five years ago, yeah.

And this is your son?

Yeah.

That's Christopher.

You know, I mean, um...

My mind's kind of blown here, but, um...

I guess now I know why you've kept things at a distance.

Which was not fair to you.

That's why I brought you here. I had to come clean, I...

And tell you how incredibly sorry I am.

I should have known you were too good to be true.

I really liked you.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[GROANS]

I liked you, too.

How can you know that?

I mean, have you been spending time with me?

Or with her?

[SOFTLY] That's what I thought.

I didn't realize how much I missed her.

[EDDIE SIGHS]

Then I saw you.

And for a moment, I even thought...

She'd come back?

Yeah.

I mean, not really, uh, just...

... felt like she had.

I never meant to lead you on.

But you did.

[SNIFFLES]

I guess she was the love of your life.

I think she was.

Yeah.

Though I'm not sure I knew at the time.

Shannon and I, we were apart more than we were together

for most of our marriage.

I was in the military and she was at home,

in Texas, looking after our son.

When I came back, we...

... tried.

But it was difficult.

Then she left.

Then she came back.

[EDDIE EXHALES]

And then she was gone.

Well, it sounds like you two had some unfinished business.

Yeah.

Never did get to say all the things I wanted to say.

Or hear all the things I needed to hear, I guess.

I'm sorry I'm not her.

Bye, Eddie.

- Let me take you home? - No. I'm okay.

?

[DOOR CLOSES]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[EXHALES]

- Thanks for coming. - Sure.

Bobby isn't here yet, but he should be home soon.

- You have a beautiful home. - Thank you.

Would you like a coffee while we wait?

That'd be nice. Thank you.

- How long have you lived here? - Let's see,

well, May was a baby when Michael and I moved in

and Harry wasn't even born yet, so almost 20 years.

Um, Michael was my first husband.

And he is...

Living happily in Florida with his husband.

I really appreciate your doing this.

Well, honestly, I don't know what it is I'm doing.

Pep talks have never been my thing.

Bobby is not normally someone who needs them.

Truth is, he's usually the one who gives them.

Can't help but wonder if, all these years,

it's been a defense mechanism.

Always focusing on someone else's problems

makes it easier to ignore your own.

So, the kids.

- Yours and your ex's, I assume? - [ATHENA] Oh, yeah.

I mean, they've come to really love Bobby.

Well, he is a lucky man.

Looks like he's found a great life for himself.

?

_

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

_

I can't do this.

I wish you and Captain Nash the best. I truly do.

But I will not be the prop that keeps this man afloat.

Wait. Please.

Amir, what are you doing here?

You really want to make amends?

You and your wife need to stay the hell away from me.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

What the hell was that?

- What were you thinking? - Bobby...

You know what he's been through, and what I put him through.

You don't think that asking him to provide a shoulder for me

to cry on is expecting a little too much?

You won't talk to me, so I thought maybe you'd talk to him.

Well, what do you expect me to say to him?

Why did you really quit your job, Bobby?

I told you, I'm tired

and I'm... I feel like a fraud and I need a break.

Stop lying to me.

?

Y-You know, I always knew that there was a part of you

that I could never touch.

That pain of losing your family.

I could imagine what it must be like,

but I can never really understand it.

The best that I could do was to love you

and hope that that was enough to keep you here.

- I'm not going anywhere. - You're not?

You barely sleep, you quit your job.

You're making the rounds to say your goodbyes.

Feels a little like...

you're getting your affairs in order.

No, no, no, I would never.

You once stood on the ledge of a building

and you were ready to step off to join your dead family.

Athena, that was a long time ago and I was dosed on LSD.

And that's what I told myself at the time.

And that's what I tell myself every time you go to a dark place.

But I still remember that look.

And you're standing on the ledge of a building again, Bobby.

[SIGHS]

[BOBBY] I'm not supposed to be here.

I should've died in that fire.

But you didn't.

I made a plan to fix that.

I kept this book with 148 lines in it.

Every time I saved a life, I filled in the line.

One life saved to repay one life lost.

And what then?

After you've saved the 148?

I'm not supposed to be here.

And where is that book now?

I threw it in the trash on the night of our first date.

All this time and you never told me that?

I didn't want any of this to touch you.

Too late.

Damn it.

[RECEPTIONIST] Hey, you can't go in there.

[ORTIZ] Firefighter Wilson.

I didn't see you in my calendar today.

Is this an official LAFD visit?

It's okay. Give us a minute, please.

- [SIGHS] - Okay.

- Say your piece. - [DOOR CLOSES]

Look, I am truly, truly sorry for your loss.

But that does not give you the right

to use a little girl as a pawn

in your revenge scheme against me.

I'm just trying to help that little girl.

Y-You think depriving her of a loving family,

and a safe home, is-is helping?

You think very highly of yourself,

don't you, Firefighter Wilson?

What does that even mean?

I know you made an honest mistake when treating my son.

I guess I should say not treating him.

When I had my people look more closely in your records,

I find a disturbing pattern.

What the hell are you talking about?

A year ago...

... a man died at a happiness convention?

His family claims you delayed the extrication

and he died on the scene.

I-I had to make a-a choice.

Misidentified cheerleaders.

A suspicious incident in a bank vault.

Questionable procedures in the field.

I mean, did you really put your hands

inside a man's chest cavity?

I've only ever done my best to save lives.

Evelyn Fischer, 17 years old,

on her way to a concert at the Philharmonic.

She was struck and killed by an ambulance

driven by you.

You really don't care about the pain that you're causing.

Do not talk to me about pain.

[PHONE RINGING]

I think you might want to take that call.

Karen.

What's wrong?

- I don't want to go. - [KAREN] Mara, it's going to be okay.

- No, I don't want to go. - It's gonna be okay.

[STAMMERS]

This is just really upsetting for her.

- Could we just take a beat, maybe? - Just hang on, hang on a minute.

Did you get in touch with Deidre?

She said there's nothing she can do.

They revoked our foster license, Hen.

We didn't even have a hearing.

- Come on, let's go. - [SCREAMS]

- Don't touch my sister. - [HEN] Denny, no.

Don't make this any worse.

Mom, you can't let them take her.

[EXHALES]

Please.

There's got to be a better way that we can do this.

You're scaring the kids.

I'm sorry, we have to take her.

[MARA] But I want to stay here.

We were supposed to be a family.

Just... just give us a minute.

Please?

W-We are still a family.

Even though we're not under the same roof.

- Okay? - You are our daughter.

And we love you.

Don't you ever forget that.

- Come on, Mara. - [CRYING]

[SOBBING]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Hi.

What... What are you doing here?

You are alone, aren't you?

Y-Yeah.

I don't feel like we said everything we... needed to say.

Kim, what are you doing?

Who's Kim?

Oh, God, you really do look just like her.

Like who?

Like Shannon.

Maybe I am.

- Kim... - And maybe there are things

you need to say.

Things that you never got the chance to say.

Let me hear them.

I really appreciate what you're trying to do...

Our time together was too short.

Eddie, we were apart more than we were together.

- Please stop. - Just say what you need to say.

- [SIGHS] I can't do this. - You have to.

You have to let me go.

I don't want to.

Just let it out, baby.

Because I am right here.

No, you're not.

You left me...

... Shannon.

Why?

I thought you loved me.

I did.

I do.

But not enough?

Not enough to stay?

Christopher got a letter.

You at least tried to explain it to him.

What about me? Where was my letter?

All I got was a note saying you had gone.

I know I wasn't a perfect husband.

I did my fair share of running, too, but...

... I came back.

Not because of some obligation,

but because I couldn't imagine a life without...

[EXHALES]

... without you.

[CHUCKLES]

And you know what?

I still can't.

But I'm still living it.

But it's broken. I'm broken.

And I can't fix it.

This is the life I have now.

This is the life from now on.

The life...

... without you.

You were supposed to be here with me, baby.

And now you're not.

And you never will be.

I'm sorry.

[MARISOL] Oh. Okay.

[MARISOL CHUCKLES]

Mom?

[GLASS CLANKING SOFTLY]

[GLASS CLANKING]

Oh, hey, son. I didn't wake you, did I?

No, it's okay.

Hey, can I pour you a drink?

Just don't tell your mother.

- I don't think I'm supposed to. - Oh, come on.

It's a celebration.

What are we celebrating?

You, my son, the hero.

I am not a hero.

Sure you are.

No. People keep calling me that, but it's a lie.

[CHUCKLES]

Then why did they give you that?

[GRUNTS, STRAINS]

It's heavy, am I right? [CHUCKLES]

I can't breathe with this thing on.

Dad. Help me take it off.

No, son. Sorry.

That one's yours.

Mm!

But I did make you something. [LAUGHS]

Oh, I think you're gonna love it.

_

It's got all the people that you didn't save.

_

I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Dad.

I was supposed to save you, kid.

Now I guess you got to save yourself.

[ECHOING] Do you smell that?

[SHARP INHALE]

[FIRE CRACKLING]

Athena!

[PANTING]

Athena!

Ah!

Athena!

Hey! Athena! Hey, Athena, can you hear me?

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Come on. Come on, baby. Come on. Come on.

Athena, can you hear me?

- Come on, baby. Come on. - [APPROACHING SIRENS]

All right, come back to me. Come on.

Come back to me.

Come on.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Come on, baby, come on.

Come on, Athena. Come on. Come on.

- [COUGHING] - There you go. Yeah.

- There we go. Yeah. - [COUGHING, WHEEZING]

Yep, there you go. You're all right.

Yeah, you just breathe. You just breathe, okay?

Hey, hey, hey, over here. Come on.

She took in a lot of smoke. Get some O2 on her, now.

[COUGHING]

[PANTING]

?

[THUDDING HEARTBEAT]

Uh...

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

Captain Nash! Get the Lifepak!

His heart stopped.

[FEMALE EMT] Charge to 100.

[MALE EMT] Charging.

[DEFIBRILLATOR WHINES]

Clear.

[PADDLES THUD]

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