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1
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:16,214
- dick, I need a favor.
- uh, not now, tommy.
2
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,350
I'm doing research.
I'm finding out what happens
When the spit hits the fan.
3
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,655
No, dick, look,
4
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,657
This is important.
5
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,627
- take a look at this.
- actors on acting?
6
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,062
Yeah. You know how
You're always trying
To find new ways
7
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,098
To explore
The human feelings?
8
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,035
Ah, “using your
Emotional memory,
The search for emotional truth
9
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:39,138
Will stimulate
Your emotional juices.”
10
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,340
“emotional juices”?
11
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,308
I love my juices.
This is exciting!
12
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:46,978
Yeah, I knew you'd like it.
That's why I volunteered you
To direct our school play.
13
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,115
- me, direct? As in, control?
- yeah, it's romeo and juliet.
14
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:53,351
August wants to play juliet,
And if you direct, you can
Cast me as romeo.
15
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,821
I'll do it!
16
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,890
That's so great,
'cause there are some
Major make-out scenes.
17
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,895
And also some really
Powerful emotional stuff.
18
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,897
I get to die.
19
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,000
I can just see it now
On the marquee--
20
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,036
“dick solomon directs
A dick solomon production
21
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,505
Of dick solomon's
romeo and juliet.”
22
00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:17,142
- yeah, whatever.
- hmm.
23
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:20,111
“naturally, an actor
Must play the truth
Of the scene
24
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:23,014
And not indulge
In emotion for its own sake.”
25
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,083
Well, anyone knows that.
26
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,085
I didn't know
You were interested
In acting.
27
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,888
Well, yes, I am,
But what I really
Want to do is direct.
28
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,225
I'm not saying
That I couldn't act.
29
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,560
I could be very convincing.
Light comedy--
30
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:38,096
( forced laughter )
31
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,565
Horror--
( hysterical screaming )
32
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,635
Tragedy.
( sobbing )
33
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,471
- morning.
- look, mary!
34
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,975
I'm distraught!
35
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,710
Or am I?
36
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,913
- okay. You have
A registered letter.
- oh, what is it?
37
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,819
Damn, damn, damn!
38
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,223
I owe $1,500
In parking tickets.
39
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,758
So they finally
Caught up with you.
40
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,760
Guess I'll have
To dip into my savings.
41
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:12,363
Oh, no, no, I couldn't
Bear to let you do that.
I'll pay them.
42
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,833
- you will?
- no. I'm acting!
43
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,836
( '50s rock music playing )
44
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,434
( mouthing words )
45
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:57,509
Man on videotape:
lo, and resolve itself...
46
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,977
Dick!
Dick, guess what?
47
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:02,280
Ms. Dubcek's giving me
All her old junk.
48
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,282
Yeah.
49
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:07,185
Yeah, I've got
Some friends dropping by
I haven't seen in 10 years.
50
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,187
I'm cleaning out
The place.
51
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,057
There's some
Really great
Stuff in here.
52
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:15,293
Dr. Solomon,
If you want to come down,
53
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:17,896
- I'll let you rummage
Through my tchotchkes.
- oh, I'm--
54
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:21,099
I'm flattered, mrs. Dubcek,
But I think of you
More as a friend.
55
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,505
- what are you watching?
- oh, it's hamlet
With lawrence “oliver.”
56
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,674
I've watched it
Three times already.
57
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:32,143
Huh. I like the way
He makes his voice
58
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,479
- go up and down like that.
- I know.
59
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,949
It makes everything
He says sound so...
60
00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:39,351
Fruity?
61
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,286
- no, important!
- oh.
62
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,390
Hey, guys. You still
Watching that stuff?
63
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,392
It's not “stuff,”
It's hamlet.
64
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,628
Yeah, but why do they
Have to talk that way?
I can't follow the story.
65
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,331
hamlet?
The story is
As old as time.
66
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,268
Pretty-boy son
Has a rich daddy
And a good-looking mommy.
67
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,071
The uncle
Knocks off daddy,
Marries mommy,
68
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:02,541
And he cuts pretty boy
Out of the action.
69
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:06,044
So junior goes crazy
And he kills them all.
70
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,747
Not a pretty story,
But there it is.
71
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,087
Isn't that the plot
To the lion king?
72
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,692
Oh, please!
73
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:24,762
- I need your help, don.
I'm in a bit of a scrape.
- figures.
74
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,532
Dames like you
Always attract trouble.
75
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:31,436
I got another
Parking ticket.
Can you fix it, don, or...
76
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,772
Am I leaning
Too hard?
77
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,343
Go ahead
And lean, baby.
78
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,512
- don'll make
The ticket go away.
- ( gasps )
79
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,814
You can make
Parking tickets
Disappear?
80
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,417
Of course he can.
Don has connections
Downtown.
81
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,419
I have a friend who has
Some parking tickets.
82
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,987
- I can't always--
- don can fix it, right?
83
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,189
- well, uh--
- right?
84
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:55,293
- sure.
- oh, this is just great!
85
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,228
Oh, I can't wait
To tell mary.
86
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:17,649
Some of you
Will not be cast.
87
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,485
Those will be
The lucky ones.
88
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,688
Over the long and grueling
Rehearsal period,
89
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:25,256
I will be your director,
Your teacher, your mentor,
90
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,358
Your mother, your father,
Your lover!
91
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:34,065
My assistant, nina,
Will read your names.
92
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,234
- nina?
- okay, um,
93
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,770
Timothy mafferty--
He's reading mercutio.
94
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:42,307
( clears throat )
“true, I talk
Of dreams, which--
95
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,842
Yes, yes, yes,
Of course.
96
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,945
But have you
Tried it like this?
97
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,947
Make your voice go high,
And then suddenly
98
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,249
Bring it down.
99
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,485
Here.
“true, I speak of dreams
Which are but children
100
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:57,455
Of an idle
( low register )
Brain,
101
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,190
Begot of nothing
But vain fan...
102
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,359
( low register )
...Tasies.”
103
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,695
From now on,
I want everyone to
Try to speak that way.
104
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,697
Oh, oh, and use
Your hands a lot.
105
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,732
We're acting.
Remember that.
106
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,067
Remind me never
To ask you for
Another favor again.
107
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,971
- you weren't right
For the role.
- hey, how'd the audition go?
108
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,641
I lost the part.
The director didn't think
I was good enough.
109
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,478
You were good.
You had delivery,
Presence, timing.
110
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,881
You just didn't have
That indefinable
Something extra.
111
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:27,018
I was just trying to score
Some points with my girlfriend.
Is that too much to ask?
112
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,554
romeo and juliet
Is a shakespearian tragedy.
113
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,357
It has nothing to do
With a horny teenager
And his girlfriend.
114
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,631
Go ahead,
Dr. Albright.
115
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,435
Hello, don. Dr. Solomon
Thought you might be able
To help me with this.
116
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,304
Well, I have been known
To bend a few--
117
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:50,441
( gasps )
You have $1,500 in fines.
118
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:54,412
- and, poof, they're gone.
- I can't “poof”
This many tickets.
119
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,748
One more, and she'd
Be in handcuffs.
120
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,883
- I was going to pay them.
- what happened?
121
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,219
I didn't.
122
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,888
Well, maybe if you got
A lenient judge,
123
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,090
He might reduce
The fine.
124
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,260
Your court date is
On the 27th.
125
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,663
Twenty-seventh--
Oh.
126
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,765
Judge debelko.
127
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,100
- sounds bad. Is it bad?
- it's bad.
128
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,369
You'd be better off
With judge conti.
129
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,872
Now, when I go to court,
Should I apologize
130
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,775
To judge conti
Or just show some remorse?
131
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,745
Actually, it might
Be helpful if you'd
Show some cleavage.
132
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,115
- he can't be serious.
- trust me.
133
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,350
We're gonna paint your face
And hike your puppies.
I know what I'm doing.
134
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,218
- right don?
- ( chuckling )
135
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:40,492
“o romeo, romeo,
Wherefore art thou”--
136
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,494
Yes, yes.
Very lovely.
137
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,735
Darling, what are you playing?
Fear, love, lust?
138
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,838
Because the audience
Is playing boredom.
139
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,007
I'm playing juliet,
140
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,878
- and it's really hard for me
To concentrate when you--
- props? Where's props?
141
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,213
- what?
- this candlestick
142
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,816
Is 18th-century
English.
143
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,219
- shakespeare was english.
- true.
144
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,221
But the play
Is set in verona.
145
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,690
Please, tommy,
I'm struggling to wring
A performance out of this
146
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,527
Ragtag company of mannequins
From the junior miss department.
147
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:19,597
I can't do your job too.
In the future I suggest
You leave it lay.
148
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:22,066
Now, everyone
Watch once again
As I act out the play
149
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,235
In its entirety.
150
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,974
Nina, nina,
Read me in.
151
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,745
Curtain rises.
A big, pompous blowhard
152
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,946
Flounces
Onto the stage.
153
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,592
Listen,
I'm really sorry
154
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,761
You had to be
The prop guy,
'cause, you know,
155
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,763
If you were cast
As romeo,
156
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,800
We could have done
Some serious making out.
157
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:59,503
We-- we could make out
Right now.
158
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,942
With the prop guy?
Ha! Sorry.
159
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,212
Hey, what you makin'?
160
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,848
An authentic
Renaissance
Sleeping potion.
161
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,818
Now I just have to find
An 15th-century
Italian vial.
162
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:18,255
Oh. Well, I find
Galileo “vile.”
163
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:26,263
Well, this is
The final box.
164
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:29,200
- I am beat.
- oh, thank you.
You want some juice?
165
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:33,504
Oh, please. I'll have to
Introduce you to my friends
When they drop by.
166
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,807
They're lovely,
Very nice.
167
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,042
There's diane
And her husband
168
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,378
And jimmy.
169
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,285
Jimmy's an old flame.
I knew he'd come back
For more.
170
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,355
come back for more what?
171
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:54,492
I said, “come back
For more what?”
172
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,497
- ( screaming )
- what happened?
173
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:03,234
Oh, great!
You let her
Drink the prop?
174
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,770
Well, at least
We know it works.
175
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:16,047
I beg for justice,
Which thou, prince,
Must give.
176
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:19,216
Romeo slew tybalt,
Romeo must not live.
177
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,218
No, no, no, no,
No, no, no, no,
178
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,022
No, no, no!
179
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,062
You are lady capulet.
180
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,831
Your kinsman tybalt
Has been killed!
He's dead!
181
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:38,369
You're asking for justice,
Not extra pickles on your
Happy burger. Justice!
182
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:42,140
You're supposed to act!
Now bleed! Just act!
Now act!
183
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,944
- I can't act, dr. Solomon.
- yes, you can!
184
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:49,881
I can't--
I can't act.
185
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,816
Do your lines.
Now, now!
186
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,786
I beg for justice,
187
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:58,156
Which thou, prince,
Must give.
188
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,158
Romeo slew tybalt,
189
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,094
Romeo must not live.
190
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,970
I want everyone
To take a good look
At cheryl,
191
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,041
Because cheryl
192
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,976
Is an actor.
193
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,982
Hello?
Damn it, voice mail.
194
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,752
- ( beeps )
- hello, dr. Albright?
195
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,687
This is sergeant--
196
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:35,492
This is a friend
With a message.
197
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:39,630
Don't come to court today.
There's been a change in plans.
198
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,568
Next,
Dr. Mary albright?
199
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:47,304
Here, your honor.
200
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,283
Sally, didn't you
Get my messages?
201
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:02,487
- what messages?
- they switched judges.
I've been calling all morning.
202
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,790
You're charged with $1,500
In outstanding fines.
203
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,560
- how do you plead?
- all I can say
204
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,763
Is I'm so sorry,
205
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,332
And I throw myself
On the mercy of the court.
206
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:17,368
Really.
207
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,505
Dr. Albright, will you
Please approach this bench?
208
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:28,746
You have a very big bench.
209
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,882
I don't know
What this little
Charade is about.
210
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:35,553
- we're trying to influence you.
- sergeant, please remove
That woman.
211
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:39,290
Doesn't he know who you are?
You have a gun, don!
Use it!
212
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:44,628
Dr. Albright, you have
Influenced this court.
213
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,997
- really?
- I am fining you
The full amount
214
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:48,999
Plus court costs
215
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:52,837
Plus $500 for contempt.
Next.
216
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,472
- but, your honor--
- next.
217
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,611
Thank you so much!
218
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:02,947
The one time that I can help
The woman I love, and your
Friend don falls through!
219
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,216
It was just an ironic
Twist of fate.
Don't blame don.
220
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,819
I don't want you hanging
Around that police station
Any more, you hear me?
221
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,454
- fine, I'll go to his place.
- oh, no, you won't.
222
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,425
- oh, yes, I will!
- you hold it right there.
I'm not finished with you yet.
223
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:17,328
Oh, uh, hey,
Mrs. Dubcek,
Would you mind--
224
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:22,433
( gasps )
My god, she's dead!
225
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,539
Oh, what is it?
Oh, her.
226
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:31,342
- she's not dead.
- but she's cold.
She's not breathing.
227
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,777
Oh, you guys.
She's fine.
228
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,913
She drank the potion.
229
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,716
The sleeping potion?
From romeo and juliet?
230
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,620
Well, guess we can take her
Downstairs until she comes to.
231
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,356
Here, harry, get her feet.
Sally, help with the door.
232
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,860
Woman:
hi, baby, it's us!
233
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,931
- all: hi!
- get her inside!
Get her inside!
234
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,666
- who are those people?
- oh, well, um,
235
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,968
It's diane
And her husband
And jimmy,
236
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,171
An old flame
Coming back for more.
237
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,008
This is just great!
Didn't you make
An antidote?
238
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,610
Hmm, is there one
In the play?
239
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:10,281
If they see her like this,
The spit is really
Gonna hit the fan.
240
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,250
- what are we gonna do?
- wait! I have
A brilliant idea.
241
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:16,688
Harry, did you know
That in a theater
Of shakespeare's day
242
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,756
- the women's roles
Were played by men?
- really?
243
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,225
Yeah, and they
Also tied up bears
And threw rocks at 'em.
244
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,928
( exclaims )
245
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,864
It's the role
Of a lifetime, harry,
An actor's dream.
246
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,967
- come on, let's get her
In the bathroom.
- I don't want to!
247
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,872
Dick, you can't pass
Harry off as mrs. Dubcek!
They'll know!
248
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,741
Ah! You forget,
They haven't seen her
In over 10 years.
249
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,343
- besides, harry has
A secret weapon.
- what?
250
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,545
A great director!
251
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,449
Hello?
Anybody home?
252
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:47,751
Uh, no, nobody's here.
Why don't we go into
The living room, okay?
253
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:49,853
Yeah, this way. Right,
Move along. Faster.
254
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:51,956
( chuckling )
Okay, right there.
255
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,792
Why don't you take a seat,
Make yourself comfortable?
256
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,794
I can't believe
She got somebody
257
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,830
To pay rent
For this crap-hole.
258
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,133
- yeah, every month.
- yeah,
259
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,502
- and we just love
Mrs. Dubcek.
- ohh.
260
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,538
Even more
Since the accident.
261
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,474
- ( shaver buzzing ) - “accident”?
262
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:13,177
Yes.
Changed her,
Considerably.
263
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:15,480
Uh, and, uh,
She refused
264
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,148
The estrogen therapy.
265
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:21,285
But don't mention it to her.
She's very sensitive.
266
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,554
- is there a bathroom around--
- both: no!
267
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:26,991
- we use the one
At the gas station.
- yeah.
268
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:30,194
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
Talk to them.
269
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:34,198
Sally:
what is taking so long? whoa, mama!
270
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,366
Dick:
do you mind? An actor needs time to prepare.
271
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:39,003
Harry:
dick, I don't think I can do this.
272
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,739
Dick:
show time! now, let's go.
273
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,741
Oh, and harry,
Remember,
274
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,143
You're going out there
A youngster, but you're
Coming back a star!
275
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,079
Now, let's go.
276
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,664
Mamie, honey!
277
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,735
Well,
278
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,038
I see you've met
My tenants.
279
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,741
Oh, uh, we love
Mrs. Dubcek.
280
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:20,811
- hi, mamie.
- lovely tattoo.
Very nice.
281
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,315
I don't blame you
For being distant,
282
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,451
Not after what
We went through.
283
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,453
She and jimmy
Used to be engaged.
284
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,822
Oh, you're jimmy!
285
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,059
She mentioned you
Just the other evening.
286
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,596
I just wanted
To say thanks
287
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,332
For kicking me out
All those years ago.
288
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,468
That was the wake-up call
That finally got me
Off the sauce.
289
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,136
- aww!
- that's so sweet.
290
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,404
Forgive me?
291
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:50,274
Sure.
292
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,750
Stop it, stop it,
Stop it!
293
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,721
- ( groans )
- uh, uh--
294
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:08,059
I'm sorry.
She had something
Crawling up her chin.
295
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,361
Why don't you all
Go downstairs
296
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,363
And, uh, get
Reacquainted?
297
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,865
Mrs. Dubcek,
There we are.
298
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,536
Bye, bye, now.
Bye, bye.
Bye, bye, now.
299
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,538
Manhandle me again,
300
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,673
And you'll answer
To jimmy.
301
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,350
We are breathing,
We are breathing.
302
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,752
- ( inhaling )
- all right!
303
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,488
Which one of you
Jamokes is solomon?
304
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,793
- that would be I.
- you're out.
305
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:44,829
- out? Who are you?
- I'm coach mafferty.
306
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,831
My wife's with the p.T.A.
307
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,066
And there's a lot of
Complaints that these kids
Are coming home
308
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,169
With low self-esteem,
And they're wetting their beds
And stuff like that.
309
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,840
- so you're looking
At the new director!
- this is unacceptable.
310
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,576
- sorry, spielberg,
You're out.
- ( cheering softly )
311
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,212
No, no.
Do not weep for me.
312
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,780
I humbly quit the stage.
313
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:06,451
No, no,
No tears.
314
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,986
The theater is
A cruel mistress.
315
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:12,122
adieu, adieu.
Remember me.
316
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,160
( blowing whistle )
Okay, kids,
Let's huddle up.
317
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:21,565
Let's back it up to,
“I pray you, good mercutio,
Let's retire.”
318
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,568
Okay, now, who's
Playing mercutio?
319
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,537
Uh, coach mafferty,
If I may,
320
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,774
I think there
Is someone here
Who can play mercutio.
321
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:36,013
Aah!
I am hurt!
322
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:39,517
Aye, aye,
A scratch, a scratch.
323
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,386
Marriage is enough.
'twill serve.
324
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,989
Ask for me tomorrow
And you will find me
325
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:48,258
A grave
( low register )
Man.
326
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,363
Romeo,
Brave mercutio
Is dead.
327
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,465
A plague o'
Both your houses,
328
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,534
For they have made
Worms' meat...
329
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,770
Of me-e-e!
330
00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:03,874
- romeo--
- I have it,
331
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,310
And soundly too.
332
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,847
Your... Houses!
333
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,782
( coughing )
334
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,988
I'm dead now.
335
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,704
Well, here it is--
The review in my
High school paper.
336
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:37,675
The review?
( reading quickly )
337
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,677
Ah, ah, ah.
338
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,980
“dick solomon's
Over-the-top
Performance
339
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:48,152
Gave new meaning
To the word 'tragedy.'"
340
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,691
I have redefined
My art,
341
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,993
- and so I retire.
- no!
342
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,596
No, no, please, please.
To go any further would
Jeopardize the mission.
343
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,365
Tommy, hang up
My codpiece.
344
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:05,036
Dick, I'm not your
Prop lackey anymore.
345
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:09,006
Besides, as of next month,
Your codpiece turns into
Sancho panza's hat.
346
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,410
I wonder
What don's doing?
347
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,547
“don.” I never want
To hear the name “don”
Mentioned in this house again.
348
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,549
Now, that's
An order!
349
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,484
- hi, there.
- ( all gasp )
350
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,755
What am I doing
On the roof?
351
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:27,458
You know, we were
About to ask you
The same thing.
352
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:31,161
- yeah.
- you should be inside.
Mrs. Dubcek, let us help you.
353
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:36,033
Oh, don, don.
354
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,069
Why should the name “don”
Make dick so angry?
355
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,307
- don: sally.
- who's there?
356
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:47,010
I would tell you, but my name is so offensive to your family
357
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,013
I dare not
Speak it aloud.
358
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,015
Don, if they found you,
359
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,749
There's no telling
What they'd do to you.
360
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,286
I'm okay.
I have night's cloak
361
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,688
To hide me
From their eyes.
362
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,691
And if thou love me,
Let them find me here.
363
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:03,627
My life were better
Ended by their hate,
364
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:05,762
Than death prolonged
365
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:09,133
Wanting of thy love.
366
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:11,535
Wow, that's
So romantic.
367
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,971
Ah, well,
368
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,906
I wrote it myself.
369
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,749
I've asked you back here
For a reason.
370
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:28,085
you seem like an intelligent woman, so I'm going to make you an offer.
371
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:31,622
I will lower the fines,
Remove the contempt charge,
372
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,059
And eliminate
The court costs
On one condition--
373
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,761
You have to promise me
That you will spend
374
00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:40,864
The weekend with me
At a hotel in chicago.
375
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:45,602
- the ambassador east?
- the sheraton.
376
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:49,340
No.
32259
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