All language subtitles for ytasfft

("I Was Made for Lovin' You"
by KISS playing)

♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

FIRST A.D. (over radio):
Back to ones.

SECOND A.D.:
Let's get it quiet, please.

Everyone, stay off
channel one now.

FIRST A.D.: This is a take,
not a rehearsal.

Picture is up.

CAMERA OPERATOR:
Camera's set.

FIRST A.D.:
Let's roll sound!

SOUND RECORDIST:
Sound speed.

FIRST A.D.:
Let's speed cameras.

CAMERA OPERATOR:
Camera one speeding.

SECOND CAMERA OPERATOR:
Camera two speeding.

FIRST ASSISTANT CAMERA:
"B" camera mark.

♪ I want to give it all to you ♪

SECOND ASSISTANT CAMERA:
"C" mark.

FIRST A.D.:
Stunts ready?

♪ In the darkness ♪

STUNT COORDINATOR:
Ready.

♪ There's so much I want to do ♪

DIRECTOR:
In three, two, one, action.

- (groaning)
- ♪ And tonight ♪

(grunting)

♪ I want to lay it
at your feet... ♪

(groaning)

COLT SEAVERS:
They're in almost every movie.

(grunts)

You just don't know
that they're there.

- (engine revs)
- 'Cause that's the job.

♪ I was made
for lovin' you, baby ♪

They're the unknown
stunt performers.

♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪

And they get paid
to do the cool stuff.

♪ And I can't get enough
of you, baby ♪

♪ Can you get enough... ♪

They also get paid
to take it on the chin.

- ♪ Tonight... ♪
- (horn honks)

- (person screams)
- (ding)

And everywhere else,
if you know what I mean.

♪ Feel the magic... ♪

Oh, that's... that's me.

Colt Seavers.

Getting blown up and hiding
my face in a muddy puddle.

Which isn't ideal

when you're trying to look cool
in front of Jody.

Who you just so happen
to have a major crush on.

- She's a camera operator.
- (giggling)

P.A. (over radio): Looking
for Tom Ryder's stunt double.

COLT: She's definitely
gonna achieve her goal

of being a big-time Hollywood
movie director. -(knocking)

(English accent):
You're so uncoordinated.

COLT: I don't want to
overromanticize it or anything,

but I think what Jody and I
got's the kind of thing

you can only really find
in the movies.

- Hey. Jody.
- Thank you.

Hey, Colt. Thanks so much
for the stunt chat.

Stunt chats.
I love 'em. Anytime.

Hey, uh, Tom needs to see you
at the monitor.

- Uh-oh.
- Yeah. (chuckles)

Am I in trouble?

She's talking about Tom Ryder,

who happens to be the biggest
action star on the pl--

Wait, why am I explaining this?

You know who Tom Ryder is.
He's Tom Ryder.

Anyway, I've been his
stunt double for six years now.

Uh... flying in.

What happened? What's up?

Guess we're going again.

You know Tom and Gail.

There's a lot of grumbling
and a bunch of hand gestures

over at the monitor, so I'm
not sure what's going on there,

- but...
- Let me guess-- too much face.

JODY:
Okay, guys. Go to one for me.

Um...

- Jody, right?
- What's your name again?

As you can see,
that is not my chin.

When you look at my face, look
at my jaw compared to his jaw,

it's like his chin is off.

It's like... -Yeah,
we can't replace his face.

It's like Mr. Potato Head.

I mean, no offense or
anything, but you know. -Oh...

Oh, yeah, no. Sorry, I got lost
in your beautiful jawline.

- It's dreamy.
- (chuckles softly) No, listen,

we're just saying
it's not working for us.

- Let's, uh... (clicking tongue)
- Okay.

Let's go again.

Oh, yeah, no,
we're gonna have to go again.

- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah. -100%.

I don't know, man.
Do you think, um...

Try and make some magic?

Maybe you could do it backwards
or something? I don't know.

- It's just... less face.
- Yeah.

COLT: The woman
freebasing the Diet Coke

is Tom's producer Gail.

She's been making him look
good for years. -Thank you.

- COLT: And it's not always easy.
- All right.

- Give me some. -(slaps bottom)
- Oh! I'm gonna...

I can't complain.

I'm working with my dream girl.

Mm.

- On my dream job.
- Copy. -Go back to one.

We got to switch
the pick points to the front.

- I'm living the dream.
- He wants to go again.

COORDINATOR: Copy that, Colt.
We'll flip the rig. -Thank you.

You'll be falling backwards.

Jody, go to two. -SECOND A.D.:
Stand quiet, please.

Everyone, stay off
channel one now.

Do you have a question for me?

Uh, yeah. It just looked
just now like you wanted

- to ask me something.
- Oh.

I was gonna go for
a spicy margarita after work.

I was wondering
if you drink spicy margaritas.

(laughs, sniffles)

Um, well,
just to keep it professional,

I can only have
one spicy margarita.

Because if I have two,
I start making bad decisions.

JODY: Well, you know,
drinking margaritas

is all about
making bad decisions.

Which reminds me, um,

after this job, I-I got to go
sit on the sand somewhere,

and I was wondering, uh...
I was gonna ask you a question.

JODY:
Tell me.

Do you have any towels
that I can borrow?

(Jody chuckles)

Yeah, I have some towels.

You know, it's so dangerous
to swim alone.

(sucks air through teeth)

Well, I would ask you to,
you know, be my swim buddy,

but I don't know
if you have a bathing suit.

Wait a second. What do you
call that across the pond?

We call it a swimming costume.
(giggles)

(chuckles)

Imagine that.

After this,
you and I could both be

on the beach somewhere
in swimming costumes

drinking spicy margaritas,

- making bad decisions.
- MAN: Okay, good to go.

JODY:
Imagine that.

FIRST A.D.: Okay, let's keep it
locked up all around!

(breathes deeply)

- Let's strap him in.
- Everyone quiet, please!

- Speed on "A."
- (exhales sharply)

You all right? -All right,
let's take him to ones.

- Tail slate. -Going to ones.
- Go ahead and sit back for me.

Let's go hot on stunts.

- And going out to the edge.
- Stunts is hot.

- Take up the slack.
- How we doing up there, stunt?

- Great. He's great. Here we go.
- Position down.

He's at ones.

Ready to drop the line for me?

DIRECTOR:
And three, two, one.

Action, action, action,
action, action!

(women screaming)

MAN:
Call the medic! Medic!

(overlapping, distorted chatter)

JODY:
Colt, are you okay?

PARAMEDIC:
I need you to step back.

You're not helping.

(monitor beeping steadily)

(typewriter keys clacking)

COLT:
What's that saying,

"Pride comes before the fall"?

Well, they don't mention

that it sticks around
afterwards, too.

(TV newscast playing quietly)

Jody tried so hard
to be there for me.

She really did. I just...

I couldn't do it.

(siren wailing in distance)

Then I just
disappeared completely.

Well...

- at least I thought I did.
- (phone vibrating)

(phone clicks)

Hello?

Oh! Colt!

It's Gail.

- Your favorite producer.
- How'd you get this number?

Someone said you were working
at the Captain's Cockatoo.

A valet.

Wow! I didn't believe it.

It's actually
El Cacatúa del Capitan.

It's a family-run place.
We pool tips.

("Fiesta" by
Mariachi La Estrella playing)

COLT: Plus, I get
all the burritos I can eat.

Kind of living the dream
if you think about it.

Break time's over.
You've got a customer.

Number 43.

(song continues
with lyrics in Spanish)

- Hey.
- (lively chatter)

Yo, bro, I know you
from somewhere.

Where I know you from, bro?

Oh, yeah, you were on
that Tom Ryder movie I was on.

- You're the stunt guy!
- Not anymore.

Did you, like, break your back
or some shit? -I did, yeah.

I know things haven't been easy
for you since... the incident.

And I just hope

that you don't hold it
against me or Tom.

You know, we were
absolutely devastated.

He sent you a message, right?

The prayer hands emoji?

Right, yeah.
He's still an asshole.

How are you even still alive?
Yo, babe.

- Babe, hey, come here.
- I don't know.

- I wish I wasn't right now.
- You got to meet this guy.

Come here.
You got to hear this.

You don't have to hear this.
It's fine. Hi.

This dude was on a movie
I was on.

- Most epic fail I've ever seen.
- WOMAN: Mm.

COLT: I don't blame
either one of you, Gail.

That was my fault.

And when you start
making mistakes like that,

it's time to hang up the pads.

GAIL:
Oh, it was an accident, Colt.

Everybody knows that.

(chuckles) Tom has put me
in a real situation here, Colt.

I just need a little bit
of help from an old friend,

who just happens to be,
you know, the best stuntman

I've ever worked with
in my life.

Which is why you are getting
on a plane for me tomorrow

and coming to Sydney.

I'm not getting
on a plane, Gail.

I can't bear that you would
throw away all that talent.

You shouldn't be
parking cars, Colt.

You need to be smashing
burning Kawasakis

through panes of glass.

Yo, fall guy? Yo.

Bring my car back
without a scratch,

I got a crispy fiver
here for you, bro.

(sighs heavily)

(siren wailing in distance)

(groans)

("Thunderstruck"
by AC/DC playing)

Come on.
It's gonna be like old times.

I know you've missed it.

Goodbye, Gail.

Wait, wait, wait!
Wait. Hold on.

Did I, did I tell you-- I--
Did I tell you

that the director's
asked for you specifically?

Sorry to disappoint him.

GAIL: Well, don't you want
to know who it is? -Nope.

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

It's Jody.

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah, thunder ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah... ♪

I'm giving her her big break.

Make sure it's an aisle seat.

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah, thunder... ♪

(car alarm chirps)

COLT:
I don't know.

Maybe I just spent so much time

riding shotgun
in someone else's story

I forgot how to take
the wheel of my own.

Wait. Does that make sense?

(engine roars)

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah... ♪

I don't know why
I'm talking so much anyway.

I'm not the hero of this story.

- (engine revving)
- I'm just the stunt guy.

(tires squealing)

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
thunderstruck ♪

♪ Ooh, thunderstruck ♪

(engine roaring)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I was shaking
at the knees... ♪

(tires squealing)

No!

(excited chatter)

Chill! It's a rental!

(Ryder yells on-screen)

RYDER (on-screen):
Earth, minerals, stone.

A new eau de parfum
by Tom Ryder.

(jet engine whooshing)

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Thunderstruck ♪

- ♪ Thunderstruck ♪
- ♪ Thunderstruck ♪

♪ Whoa-oh ♪

♪ You've been thunderstruck. ♪

(song ends)

Is that-- Yeah?

I didn't realize they were,
uh, scanning doubles now.

Eh, it's new technology.

Basically, we use
the geometry of your face

to retarget Ryder's face,

and we put Ryder's face
back on top of your face.

Like a deepfake situation.

If you get a chance, turn me
into Tom Cruise, would you?

Hey, welcome to Sydney.
Are you Colt Seavers?

Yeah. Hey. Do you know
where I can get some coffee?

This jet lag
is really kicking in.

Yeah, no stress. I got you.

And does the director know
I'm here?

- She asked for me.
- Uh...

Does-does she want
to say hi or...?

I haven't heard.
No, sorry, bro.

Uh, but the stunt coordinator
wants to see you.

- He's just in the jacket there.
- Okay, great.

Will you just tell her
I'm here and...

you know, that coffee
if you get a chance?

Oh.

- Dan Tucker.
- (laughing)

Big-time Hollywood
stunt coordinator.

It's about time.

- (grunts)
- Congratulations.

Thank you. Look at you.

So do I call you "sir" now,
or how does that work?

Oh, feel free
to call me "boss," you know.

- Okay, boss.
- (laughs)

I don't think I should be
in this Nomex, right?

I mean, it's like, we're not
doing anything crazy, are we?

I was just about
to explain that.

A cannon roll?!

It's time for you to start
rolling cars again

instead of parking them.

You had an accident.

(stammers) It was a massive
miscalculation of the rig.

I-I almost killed myself
in front of the whole crew.

You know, I'd rather just not
have my first stunt back

be another epic failure,
especially in front of Jody.

I mean, you understand.

"It's not about how hard
of a hit you can give."

- Oh.
-"It's about how many times

you can get hit and keep
moving forward." -Come on.

That's messed up. You can't
quote Rocky on me like that.

JODY: So it's a laser gun
with a dagger?

PROPS WOMAN: Yes,
like a bayonet. -Right.

Do we need the bayonet?
Wouldn't the laser achieve...

On the battlefield, yes.
Hundred percent.

It just gives it
a quite a strange shape.

- Oh, this guitar bit at the end?
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, you said
you wanted metal,

so it's, like, heavy metal.
(imitates machine gun)

Okay, how-how... how many
have you done like this?

- Uh, two.
- Okay. Good.

- Hundred.
- Ooh. Okay. Yeah, fantastic.

- Thanks, boss.
- Okay. It looks like a guitar.

Yes. -Nigel, how we doing
on the pyrotechnics?

What's going on? -I think we
only have enough for one take.

- Boss! Boss, listen.
- No. Come on. -Yes.

Yes? -We could create
something that looks

- way more realistic with VFX.
- No, no, no.

- Come on. Give it to me.
- Venti, Venti, Venti.

I don't want real.
I don't want real.

This is a sci-fi epic,
cosmic love story. -Why?

Okay? Of cosmic proportions.

It's got to mirror
that otherworldly thing

when you fall in love.

You know, it's-it's imperfect.
It's beautiful.

I want it that way, okay?

Let's go big with
our one take, okay? -Okay.

- Holy shit.
- (people exclaiming)

Was that it?
Was that my one take?

NIGEL:
Uh, I'm sure we have--

- (explosions)
- Oh, my God!

Well, I got to say, though,
looks absolutely fantastic.

- RAY: Boss. Listen, listen.
- Look at that.

You sure you want
to use real pyros?

Yeah. -VENTI: But we
definitely don't need this.

- No, no, no, no. Yeah.
- We don't.

Well, we're just gonna
have to loop the actors.

- That's all.
- That's okay, Ray.

It's a stuntman in a car
with a helmet on, okay?

- Oh. Uh, all right.
- No looping. No monologuing.

What the hell is going on
over there, Rush?

We did not call for pyro.

I will seriously
track down your family

and kill every last one of them!

This is why they're doing it.

'Cause they feel you don't
respect them, Nigel, okay?

It's my tone. -Your tone,
your words, all of it, just...

- I see, okay. -Jody? Jody?
- Darla, yes? Okay. Yeah.

Jody, um, sorry, I...
I couldn't get my printer

- working last night...
- Okay, yep.

...but I sort of synthesized
our conversation

that we had on the third act,
and what if

one of the characters in the
film acknowledges in the film

that we're having a problem
with the third act?

- Yeah?
- No. No.

But I appreciate you thinking
outside the box, Darla.

- I really, really do.
- (explosion)

Nigel, you've got to stop them.

I will gut you like the pigs
that you are! -Oh, my God.

- Stop testing!
- Whoo!

- RUSH: Boss!
- Yep?

- Test went well.
- Fantastic.

Okay, so, guys, simmer down.
Eyes on me.

Here's what's gonna happen.

No VFX, Venti.
It looks absolutely fabulous.

Nigel, we need to shoot now.
The tide's coming in.

Let's go.
The shot's gonna be epic.

Shot's up in five, people.
Thank you.

(explosion in distance)

- DAN: Colt? Brother?
- (exhales heavily)

What's happening, man?

- Bad sand.
- Bad sand.

Yeah.

I think we got to postpone.
Hate to say it.

NIGEL (over radio):
Dan, what's the delay, please?

Uh, we're just doing
a little safety check.

It's the density.
It's bad density.

We're looking at
the density of the sand.

There's a new driver.

- Who is it? Where's Henry?
- No idea.

Nigel, this is
the biggest shot of the film,

and I have a newbie.

- Dan says we can do it.
- Okay.

Seriously, we're gonna drift
all over the place.

What is that, a king tide?

Here's what you do.
You wait till it comes in.

It compacts the sand,
then we shoot sunset for sunup.

You're stalling.

- Maybe.
- You're stalling.

Two things can be true.
(groans) -Brother, I've got

a tent full of
rookie Australians out here.

I'm gonna be sick.

You got this. You're the one.

- Why you got to say that?
- Okay?

Why you got to say that?

You've done this
a million times.

And so have you.
You know, you just jinxed it.

You just jinxed it!

Hey, Dan, I need the driver
in the car now, please.

- Okay, the tide's coming up.
- DAN: Okay.

Thank you so much.
Appreciate you.

- Is that Jody?
- Yes, it's Jody.

(indistinct radio chatter)

She say something about me?

Stop with-- your-your face.
Stop it. Stop it.

She didn't say
anything about you.

Get in the car!

(exhales sharply)
This is really important to her.

Yes, it's important to her.

- Is this Comic-Con or something?
- Hall H.

"This is one of those times,

whether it's an inch or a mile,
a win is a win."

That's easy.
Fast and the Furious.

Ah!

- Let's go. You got this.
- (clears throat)

COLT:
Did you see the coffee lady?

She was wearing, like, a hat.

- I see you in the car.
- Okay.

WOMAN (over radio): Let's get
the medics in place, please.

This is the hero set.
I've got five more after that.

Are you ready, Dan? Yeah.

- DAN: Rock and roll.
- NIGEL: Lock it up!

- JODY: Thank you.
- MAN: Three minute away--

NIGEL (over radio):
Okay, folks,

he's buckled in.
Stunts are ready.

MAN (over radio):
Godspeed, Colt.

DAN:
Everybody knows their spots.

Everybody knows
their responsibilities.

NIGEL (over radio):
FX, please go hot on the cannon.

DAN:
Do this right.

MAN (over radio):
Okay, engaging the cannon now.

DAN: We do this safe
and everybody goes home.

MAN 2 (over radio):
Charging the cannon.

MAN (over radio):
2,000 PSI in the cannon.

Stunts is good.

MAN 2 (over radio):
Cannon is hot.

NIGEL (over radio):
Cameras, where are we at?

Are you rolling? Camera one?

- MAN 3: Speed on one.
- NIGEL: Camera two?

- MAN 4: Speed.
- NIGEL: Camera three?

- WOMAN: Speed on three.
- (breathes deeply)

(overlapping radio chatter
continues)

(breathes deeply)

NIGEL (over radio): Background.
And three, two, one.

Action, action, action!

(engine revving)

♪ ♪

All right, guys, stay frosty.

NIGEL (over radio):
Three, two, one!

Dan, I need him close to the
camera now. -DAN: Copy that!

COLT (over radio): Look,
I don't want to be that guy,

but the sand's a little loose.

I can't get any traction.

When I do, it jumps,

so if you get any closer,
you're gonna lose the camera.

I know, I know,
but get in there.

- You got this, baby!
- Move up, move up.

No, no, not that close.
Oh. What the--

NIGEL (over radio):
Keep rolling.

We have seven more cameras.
Keep rolling!

Okay!

Ready in three, two, one!

NIGEL (over radio):
Nobody goes in

until stunts gives
the all clear.

♪ ♪

(Colt grunts)

- Is he all right?
- Colt, you all right?

Quickly, get him.
Come on, get him.

- Just get in there.
- DAN: Oh, my God.

- Easy, easy.
- DAN: Colt, you did it!

Eight and a half rolls!

Come on, you okay? You good?

You good? Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

(laughs)

Jody's coming. Hold on. Okay.

So good, Dan. Is he good?

- Yeah, of course.
- So good, so good.

Loved it, loved it.

- Incredible.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

Whose idea was this?

- I think it was Gail's idea.
- I thought it was your idea.

DAN: I-I just found out
about this yesterday.

Dan, come on.

I didn't approve him.
I didn't approve him.

I would never have approved him.

- She didn't approve me.
- (Dan stammers)

Can I talk to you for a second?

I'm not approved.

JODY:
Interesting move. Really.

Really interesting.
Just very casual.

Here you are, you show up,
and, "I'm your new stuntman."

Don't do that.
You can't do that. -What?

- Directing a movie.
- Your hat's coming off.

Why are you here?

I think there's been
a misunderstanding. -Clearly.

Because I was under
the impression that...

...you did want me here.

That's a delusional thought.
We haven't spoken in a year.

- Let's not get into it.
- Gail, Gail-- But Gail told me

- that you wanted me here.
- Okay. Whatever.

I don't even care about it,
but you clipped the camera.

I-I-I'm a little rusty.

- Comic-Con shot ruined.
- I'm sor-- I know.

- Hall H. It's a big deal.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I'm happy for you.

This whole director thing
looks good on you.

Even the gardening hat, somehow.

Everyone wears them.
It's like a set thing.

- Okay?
- Yeah, I see it. It's--

They're not making it look
as good as you are, that's all.

And I'm not trying to be fla--
I'm just saying the facts.

But you look good in everything.

You look good in nothing.
Whatever.

- No, I don't mean it like that.
- Really? This isn't...

But you do look good
in nothing. -This isn't work--

- This isn't gonna work.
- I mean, you do.

But it's not what I...
(clicks tongue)

- I'll take anyone. Anyone else.
- Yeah.

- Anyone but him.
- DAN: Can I be honest with you?

- Who have you got? Yep.
- We literally have no one else.

- What's next?
- NIGEL: The fire burn.

DAN:
It's your call.

Okay. -NIGEL: Can we get
a nurse on standby, please?

We're gonna set
this man on fire.

- (dramatic music playing)
- (frantic shouting)

- (Colt grunting)
- (music stops)

JODY (over bullhorn):
Cut, cut, cut. -That's a cut.

- NIGEL: Cutting there, please.
- MAN: That's a cut!

(crew chattering)

JODY:
How you feeling, Colt Seavers?

- MAN: He's good.
- MAN 2: He's all good.

We're gonna go again.
Thumbs-up, okay?

Technical issue.
Little bump on the dolly.

- Huh?
- Can you fix that, Jimmy?

- Back to ones, please.
- Thank you.

- WOMAN: Going again.
- MAN: Please, back to one.

JODY: Colt, do you feel a bit
flung into the deep end here?

I'm just wondering, 'cause
you haven't read the script,

if you'd like some backstory,
some context?

- Would that be good?
- Just go with it.

Yeah, helpful?
Okay. Here we go.

So, sci-fi love story,
two characters,

one of them's an alien--
Aliena--

and you're Space Cowboy.

They shared what's called
a moon season.

In real life,
you might call it a fling.

Um, brief but very intense.

And... hopeful.

Now, neither of them
had ever been in a relationship

that deep before.

And they told each other that
over and over and over again.

Him more than her,
you know, to the point where

sometimes she was like,
"Chill out," you know.

But anyway,
in a tragic turn of events,

Space Cowboy is wounded,
and he just disappears.

Without a trace.

(blows sharply)

I can keep going.

I can hit the rock
better now, thanks.

We're going again!

MAN:
Sound speed.

NIGEL:
And action!

(dramatic music playing)

(Colt grunting)

- JODY: That's a cut!
- (music stops)

NIGEL:
Cutting there, please.

(applause)

- MAN: Everything okay?
- MAN 2: You good?

JODY: For a little more
context, Colt,

Aliena's sort of devastated.

And she starts sort of
replaying everything

in her head over and over again.

Did she misread the vibe?

Was it just a fling?

Did she let her imagination
run wild again?

Or did he lie to her?

Was he full of shit?

But let me be clear:

eventually, Aliena did move on.

All right?

And she started doing Pilates.

Got herself
a banging revenge body,

and then she started dating
other humans.

One after another.

And she had
so many mind-blowing,

far superior experiences,
you wouldn't even believe it.

- Right, girls?
- Yeah.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it was like a sushi train.

(groans) I'm gonna be sick.

And do you know what?
We're gonna go again, Colt,

'cause there was
a little buzz on that one.

MAN:
Okay, light him up.

NIGEL:
Last one, everybody. Action!

(dramatic music playing)

- (Colt grunting)
- (music stops)

JODY: It-It's just feeling
so withheld,

so how 'bout some dialogue?

Yeah, that's all right, Darla.

I'm gonna go
straight to the source.

Hey, Colt, if Space Cowboy
had to say something,

if he was forced to say
something, what would he say?

How would he justify

this year she's spent
spinning out over this?

What could he say?
It's a puzzler, isn't it?

- But have you got any thoughts?
- Uh, maybe he could talk...

Nigel, can you, can you
get him a bullhorn?

I can't hear him.

Traveling.

(bullhorn siren whoops)

Come again, Colt.
What was that?

- It's already on.
- (clears throat) In this movie,

do the aliens and the humans
ever talk...

in private?

- No, not really.
- No private conversations?

JODY: No, they don't like
doing private.

Like, they like
to keep it very public.

- Very open.
- Oh.

Well, maybe I'll just, uh,
open it up to the group here.

Have you ever been in one of
those situations where...

...you want to say something
and it's so important

that you can't mess it up?

So, you think
long and hard about it,

and then you realize...

you've already messed it up?

'Cause you've thought
too long and too hard about it?

You're...

What's that?

- You want...
- (feedback squeals)

(feedback squeals)

(robotic voice):
I had a similar situation

when I fell in love
with my wife's sister.

- Okay. All right. What...
- No.

- No. Okay.
- (feedback squeals)

COLT:
Uh... (clears throat)

And again,
this is hard because...

you know, I haven't
read the script.

But...

♪ ♪

...he'd probably say...

...that he's been living...

...in total regret since then.

You know, afraid...

that he'll never get
an opportunity

to make it up to her...

...because he waited too long.

And...

...she's probably moved on.

NIGEL:
Uh, sorry, Jody,

speaking of moving on,
we, uh... (chuckles)

One more?

I'd love another chance.

- Roll it, Nigel.
- Let's turn over, please!

- All cameras are rolling.
- Shot's up, sound speeding.

MAN:
Okay, light him up!

NIGEL:
Action! Thank you!

- (crowd clamoring)
- (explosion)

(Colt grunting)

COLT:
Gail?

Gail?

Oh. Coffee.

(whirring, bubbling)

Mm! You're here.

Oh, no, don't use that.
It's broken.

Eight and a half rolls?

That is a world record!

Thank you so much. (laughs)

It's better than parking cars,
isn't it?

(laughs excitedly)

- (inhales deeply)
- Would you cut the shit, Gail?

What? It was amazing.
What are you talking about?

She doesn't want me here, Gail.

Yes, she does.

Oh, of course she does.

- You lied. You lied.
- Oh. (clicks tongue)

- Colt. (blows raspberries)
- Do you know how that feels?

I think you deserve
a second chance.

It's, like, the message
in all my movies.

What's the message
in all my movies?

Uh... (stammers)

Nihilism's a viable worldview?

No, that's just
the entertainment.

That's like the...
(smacks lips)

like the sexy bacon.

- What is this?
- You know? It's like dogs.

You got to wrap the message...
(clicks tongue)

in some sexy bacon.

I mean, all those movies,
people fall down.

They're rolling
in their own shit.

They don't think they can cope,
but they can. They get back up.

Do you mind if I lay down?

With the multiple fire burns
and the cannon rolls

- and the jet lag, I just...
- Yep, yep, yep.

...could use a little shut-eye.

Yep.

Okay, let me get this straight.

- Nihilism is the sexy bacon?
- Yeah.

The audience are dogs?

There we go.

And when you fall down,
you get back up.

- Thank you.
- I'm glad we did this.

Now, what am I
really doing here, Gail?

Um...

Ryder's missing.

He has fallen in

with some shady,
shitty, shitty people.

Well, Gail...

...call the cops.

I can't call the cops.

Well, why not?

The studio will know
that I am way over budget.

They will pull the plug on this.

You know that.

Please go and find him.

Why me?

You're a stuntman,
for God's sake.

No one's gonna notice
whether you're here or not.

- No offense.
- I mean, some taken.

You know him intimately.

It can be so simple.

You pick him up,
you dust him off,

you bring him back here.

I know I can trust you.

And you know who can
trust you more than anyone,

she just doesn't
realize it yet, is Jody.

This is her big chance.

Do you want her first movie
to be her last?

You've got to help me out, man.

It's been a long couple days.
(sniffs)

I'm gonna go to the hotel,
I'm gonna--

What is it? It's my yesterday,
it's your tomor--

I'm gonna call you
your tomorrow.

- Right, no. Today.
- My today.

That is the door code
of Ryder's loft.

The patio door.
Took it from his trailer.

He's still doing
this Post-it note thing?

Oh. (stammers)
Let's not even get into that.

At this point,
it's like Memento level.

I can only keep this
from Jody and the studio

48 hours max.

Save Jody's movie,

and maybe you get
the love of your life back.

Did you just turn Jody
into the sexy bacon?

She's been
the sexy bacon all along.

You're good.

It's the only left-hand drive
I have.

Please don't wreck it.
It's product placement.

There's only two of them.

I know how you stunties drive.

You seek to destroy
all I hold dear.

(car alarm chirps)

(groans)

(engine starts)

(over radio):
♪ 'Cause there we are again ♪

♪ When I loved you so ♪

- ♪ Back before you lost ♪
- (volume increases)

♪ The one real thing
you've ever known ♪

♪ It was rare, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And maybe we got lost
in translation ♪

♪ Maybe I asked for too much ♪

♪ But maybe this thing
was a masterpiece ♪

♪ Till you tore it all up ♪

♪ Running scared, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ And you call me up again ♪

♪ Just to break me
like a promise ♪

♪ So casually cruel
in the name of being honest ♪

♪ I'm a crumpled-up
piece of paper... ♪

(song stops)

(Colt sniffles)

What are you doing?

(sniffles)

Uh, just, uh, chilling down.

Were you "chilling down"
to Taylor Swift?

- Yep.
- Mm.

It's just something
Australians say.

Really? I've been here for six
months, I've never heard it.

Yeah, "chilling down under,"
you know,

but it's shorter to say
"chilling down."

- Have you been crying?
- Not at all.

You look like
you've been crying.

Jet lag.

(sighs) That was so dangerous,
and I'm very sorry.

Lighting you up like that.

(laughing):
It was very cathartic.

- I feel better.
- I deserved it.

I'm gonna make the camera
up to you, by the way.

Can I get in the car with you?

Clean your face. You're a mess.

So how have you been?

Oh, you know.

Yeah? Thumbs-up?

God, I hate that bullshit,
that stunt guy bullshit.

- (clears throat)
- And that's fine.

You don't have to
explain anything.

It's all good. It was a fling.

Less than a fling. It was
a flingette, and that's fine.

I don't even want to know.

And the problem with forcing
something is you get nowhere.

You know, one time my mom
forced my dad to exercise.

Do you know what happened?

Snapped his ankle first time
he stepped on the treadmill.

She forced it, now he has
a piece of metal in his foot.

Moral of the story is
you should just be you.

(inhales deeply)

Well, look, I've thought
a lot about this, actually,

and I, uh...

It's not like
I didn't want to apologize

a million times.

Yeah.

Uh, it's just, every time I...

You know, when I think of
something to say...

...doesn't seem like enough.

(chuckles):
Okay.

No problem.

Boundaries. Boundaries.

That's important.

Because I have
a lot of pressure on me.

You have no idea how hard it was
for me to make this movie, okay?

I just need to focus,
so if you're gonna stay here,

we need to keep it...

like, super profesh.

"Professional"
is my middle name.

(chuckles) Mm-hmm.

I thought your middle name
was "Danger."

That's a stage name.

Colt Profesh Seavers.

Promise me you're not
gonna derail this, okay?

Promise.

(inhales deeply) Okay.

Want to do some doughnuts?

Do you want to drive me
to my car?

- Yeah.
- (engine starts)

(brakes squeak softly)

Okay, goodbye.

♪ It was rare, I was there ♪

♪ I remember it all too well ♪

♪ Wind in my hair,
you were there ♪

♪ You remember it all ♪

- ♪ Down the stairs ♪
- (engine starts)

♪ You were there ♪

- ♪ You remember it all... ♪
- (song ends)

♪ ♪

COLT:
(exhales sharply) Okay.

"Tom, long time no see.

Gail asked me to check
and make sure you're okay."

(sighs heavily)

"Colt, thought you were dead.

Why you got to be
such a pussy bitch?"

"Tom, I'm gonna have to ask you
not to refer to me

as a pussy or a bitch."

"Okay, but you got hurt
like a pussy

and you're acting like a bitch."

(calling out):
Tom?

Colt Seavers.
Just checking in on you.

Jody needs you back on set, pal.

And I-I don't want to be
a part of

any breaking in,
role-play games.

Well, all right.

(loudly over speakers):
♪ DJ Khaled! ♪

♪ Hey ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ We The Best! ♪

♪ All I do is win, win, win,
no matter what ♪

♪ Got money on my mind,
I can never get enough ♪

♪ And every time
I step up in the building ♪

♪ Everybody hands go up ♪

♪ And they stay there ♪

♪ And they say, "Yeah!"
and they stay there ♪

♪ Up, down, up, down,
up, down ♪

♪ 'Cause all I do is
win, win, win ♪

♪ And if you going in... ♪

(squawking rhythmically)

- ♪ Make 'em stay there ♪
- ♪ Luda! ♪

♪ Ludacris going in
on the verse ♪

♪ 'Cause I never been defeated
and I won't stop now ♪

♪ Keep your hands up,
get 'em in the sky ♪

♪ For the homies
that didn't make it ♪

♪ And my folks locked down ♪

♪ I never went nowhere, but
they saying, "Luda's back..." ♪

(groans) Coffee.

♪ The hood call it Luda 'gnac ♪

♪ Can't never count me out,
y'all better count me in ♪

♪ Got 20 bank accounts,
accountants count me in ♪

♪ Make millions every year,
the South's champion ♪

♪ 'Cause all I do, all I,
all I, all I, all I do is ♪

- ♪ All I do is win, win... ♪
- (sword rings)

- (woman yells)
- What the...!

(grunts fiercely)

(yells)

- (woman yells)
- (squawks)

♪ Everybody hands go up... ♪

- (coffee splashes)
- (frustrated grunt)

(grunts)

(sword rings)

(yells)

(grunting)

♪ Win, and if you going in ♪

♪ Put your hands in the air,
make 'em stay there ♪

♪ And they say, "Yeah!"
and they stay there ♪

♪ Up, down, up, down,
up, down... ♪

- (music stops)
- (woman growls)

Why do you look so familiar?

(grunts fiercely)

(yells, grunts)

Where do I know you from?

I'm Iggy Starr,
lead actress on Metalstorm.

(dramatic music playing)

- I'm Ryder's girlfriend.
- Oh.

- You're in Metalstorm.
- Yeah.

Hey, were you
in that movie Carjacked

where that guy named Jack
steals your car

and then you shoot him
in the hand and you say,

"I hope you know
how to drive stick"?

And it doesn't make sense
'cause it's like,

should be "automatic,"
but the way you say it...

That's Naomi Watts!

(grunting)

(yelling fiercely)

COLT:
I'm just a stunt guy.

I'm working on Metalstorm, too.

You lie!
We're only on Metalstorm 1.

- I meant also!
- (yelling)

(groans)

(grunting)

(groans dramatically)

(Iggy pants)

Is this a prop sword?

Mm-hmm. I'm a good actress.

Hey, if you are
really working on Metalstorm,

why are you
sneaking around here?

Just trying to find Ryder.

He's, like, really drugged up
and paranoid right now.

He thinks someone's
trying to kill him.

And I'm like, "If you don't
finish Metalstorm,

I'm gonna kill you myself."

Now, there is
some dark shit going on.

And the sooner I can get
out of here, the better.

(sighs):
Wow.

Any idea where I could find him?

Uh, you could try this club
he hangs out at.

But you're never gonna get in
looking like a povo.

- What's a povo?
- A poor person like you.

Oh. Cool.

IGGY: What's with your
Miami Vice Stunt Team jacket?

COLT: Oh, it was
the first show I ever did.

I had to jump a boat
through a ring of fire.

I got so good I could do it

with my hands
tied behind my back.

Wow.

You're really into yourself.

("Do It Like That"
by Saint Bodhi playing)

I mean, you know, you did ask.

It's neon night at the club.

He's always there
with this guy called Doone

who's his drug dealer.

He's got, like,
leopard print tats on his head.

They won't let a nobody
like you into the club,

so just act like Tom.
You're his stunt double.

You know how to do that,
don't you?

Yeah. I'll just act like
I own everything and everyone

and there's no repercussions
for my actions.

- (song continues over speakers)
- (crowd cheering)

♪ I do it like that... ♪

(lively chatter)

WOMAN:
Oh, my God. Is that Tom Ryder?

MAN:
Hey, Tom!

(excited shouting)

Stuntman! Yeah, yeah, Iggy said
you were gonna come see me.

Yeah, sit down, get a drink.

Hey, hey, get him a drink.
What do you want?

Oh, no, no, I'm good. I'm good.

I'm just looking for Ryder.
You seen him?

Get him a Shirley Temple.
Sit down, brother, sit down.

Uh, honestly, no offense,
Mr. Doone.

I just want to find Ryder.

How come no one ever wants
to chat with the drug dealer?

Sorry. I, uh...

I mean no... no disrespect.

Just had a long day.
Ryder hasn't shown up to work.

That was fast.

You do a stunt today?

Uh, just a, yeah, car roll.

- Just a car roll?
- (song swells, crowd cheering)

Hear how he said that?
"Just a car roll!"

What a stuntman! My man!

It's what I do.

Hey, that's why I like you.

'Cause you do all the hard shit.

They give Oscars for that?

For stunts?

No.

(clicks tongue) Nope.

Hey, to the unsung heroes.

- I'll drink to that.
- (chuckles): Yeah.

DOONE:
Mm!

(exhales heavily)

No offense,
but I prefer cartoons.

See, movies are always trying
to make things real.

But it's not real.
It's a movie.

It's not meant to be real.

- (excited laughter and chatter)
- That's why I like cartoons.

(voice distorting):
See, 'cause cartoons

don't pretend to be real.

(audio distorting)

That's what I like about them.
You seen Dumbo?

- Dumbo?
- Yeah, Dumbo.

Dumbo changed my life.

You know that scene when Dumbo
gets into the bad champagne,

then he starts seeing
the pink elephants

on parade and shit?

I was like, "Yes, please.

"I'll have what he's having!

Make it a double!"

(distorted laughter)

Hey, stuntman?

- (grunts)
- Why don't you come with us?

We'll get you nice and
comfortable at the hotel, huh?

(distorted grunting, groaning)

(distorted laughing)

(distorted screaming)

(crowd cheering)

Move, move! Get out of the way!
Get-- Move! Come on!

Get out the way!
Move! Get off me!

WOMAN:
(gasps) Hey!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Taxi! Come on, come on.

Come on, brother, let's go.

- Go! -See you, mate.
- Be well, mate.

♪ ♪

(echoing):
What are you doing, Colt?

You know what I'm doing.
I'm gonna stop this car.

You're clearly high, Colt.
And you're clearly chickenshit!

Okay, we don't have time for
this. Talk about this later.

(car approaching)

- (horn blaring)
- (tires squealing)

(grunts)

(groans)

Yeah, okay. -DOONE:
Driver, what are you doing?

Drive! Drive, bro!

Listen. Hey, you need to chill.
Just relax. Just re--

Hey, just relax! I'm a lover,
not a fighter, okay? Just...

- Where's Ryder?!
- I just drugged you

'cause they paid me to.

- Who's "they"?
- (stammers)

The guy that runs
Ryder's security.

I deliver drugs to him

at the Pendleton Hotel
sometimes, okay?

- What room?
- Bro, I don't know what room.

You know, it changes.

Just ask Kevin
for the, for the fruit plate.

- He'll give you the key.
- Kevin?

- Kevin! K-E-V-I-N. For the...
- I know Kevin!

You know Kevin?

I don't know Kevin.

Well, then you're gonna
get to know Kevin.

Ask him for a fruit plate,
and he'll give you keys.

(slurring):
How long does this last?

- What?
- How long is this gonna last?

Bro, what are you even saying?

How... long does this last?

Oh. When you stop
seeing unicorns.

(nickers)

(clicks tongue)

I'd like to speak to Kevin.
(pants)

WOMAN:
Kevin's, uh, on a break.

Okay, maybe you can help me.
Can I order the "fruit plate"?

Okay. Do you want me
to call "room service"?

I don't know.
Is that what happens?

D-Do you have a room?

- Should I just...
- Do I need one?

To order the fr...

- I...
- The fruit plate.

- Hey, Colt.
- Fruit plate.

Woof, wow.

- That's a look.
- Hi. Hey.

- What happened to your face?
- Hi.

- Hi. Okay. (chuckles)
- (chuckles)

- Sorry about that. (chuckles)
- Are you good?

- It's just good...
- What's wrong with you?

- It's good to see you.
- Wow, you look terrible.

You look amazing.

Did you fall?
What happened to you?

Wow. You're so pretty.

- (chuckles) It's crazy.
- Okay. Your face is bleeding.

- What?
- What happened to you?

Oh. No, I was running.
Just-- I was running.

Very unusual athleisure wear
for a run.

- (smacks lips) This?
- Yeah.

Yeah, they gave me
the wrong bags at the airport,

but, you know, it's-- it works.

(stammers) I can sweat.

If I'm gonna play Ryder,
I thought I should just,

like, cut weight a little,
you know...

You seem kind of tweaky.

I'm a little... spotty.

Like, when I--
my glucose levels get low.

I get a little... (whistles)

- Okay, is that a new thing?
- (breathes deeply)

Is that a new thing?

- What's that?
- Is that a new thing?

- Is your hair new?
- Yes, I cut it.

- I changed my hair.
- It's beautiful.

You changed your number.
We're even.

I thought we'd sort of
even the score.

Yeah. I have a lot of new s--

You know, I've learned
a lot about myself

since-since we last
seen each other.

Why'd you disappear like that?

God, I wanted
to be there for you.

GAIL: Yeah, but how's
she supposed to do quality work

if you keep harassing her
all the time?

(growls playfully, laughs)

Okay. Can you go
and grab your things?

- We have really got to zip.
- Okay. Yep.

- What's going on?
- Seriously.

- Colt, you're...
- (clears throat)

You look like you've been busy.

- Yeah, real busy, Gail.
- Yeah, good.

Lot of running around, Gail.

We'll get a drink
and discuss that.

But right now, the studio...

so far up my ass,
I can taste them.

- We need your third act.
- Okay. Yep.

You having problems
with the third act?

We're gonna, we're gonna go
and do things right now.

I need to write it.
I'm gonna go write it. I just--

It's like
the studio are wanting me

to contort the love story
so that it all ends happily

and everything's rosy and...

- Jody, Jody, Jody.
- But I feel like if I...

lean into reality,
then maybe that's the way to go.

And most love stories
don't end well. Usually.

- Know what I mean?
- I strongly disagree with that,

so we should keep
chopping it up.

Yeah? Should we?

It's important.
It's the ending.

- Okay.
- (man clears throat)

(clears throat)

Sir?

- Huh?
- Hi.

- Yeah.
- Hi.

Um, I hear that
you're interested

in a-a fruit platter.

- (whispering): Kevin?
- (whispering): Yes.

Yes. Okay, so...

(sighs)

It's-it's on... it's on ice.

♪ ♪

(breathes deeply)

(lock beeps)

(gentle piano music playing
over speakers)

(scanner beeps)

Yep. There we go. Sorry.

♪ ♪

(sighs)

(exhales)

(lock beeps)

(grunting)

(muffled ringtone playing)

(ringtone continues)

Hello?

JODY (over phone): What do you
think about split screen?

- Jody?
- Yeah.

Is this okay I'm calling?
You said to call and...

- Yes. Yeah, it's fine.
- Yeah? We could chop it up?

It's, uh... Let's chop it up.

It's a good time.
I'm not doing anything.

Okay. Great.
Uh, so, split screen, right?

Do you think that it's,
like, nostalgic super cool

or do you think
it's a gimmick? -(groans)

Um, I think
it could be super cool.

Mm-hmm? -Yeah, how do you,
uh, want to use it?

I mean, you know, tell me.
Tell me everything. (chuckles)

Tell me, you know,
about your vision.

So, I like that
they're on-screen together.

But they are in
separate worlds... -Right.

...you know,
visually and emotionally.

So you've got
this very prominent divide

between the lovers.

And I want that.

- You want the divide?
- I want the divide, yes.

Hmm.

It's funny 'cause I-I didn't
get the impression

that there was that much
keeping them apart.

Well, you haven't
read the script.

All I know so far is that
the alien lady and the cowboy

are having what seem to be
pretty manageable problems.

Jody? Jod-- How's this?

Manageable problems?

The aliens invaded Earth,
and they left it in tatters.

So this whole thing
the studio are pushing for,

the "love conquers all"
thing...

(inhales deeply)
I'm not buying it.

Well, I have to admit that I'm
surprised to hear you say that.

Why?

Well, I'm just
a boy in a neon suit

standing in front of a girl,
reminding her

that Notting Hill
is her favorite movie

and she watches Love Actually
every year at Christmas.

Well, you know,
I watched it again this year,

and I didn't love it, actually.

- Wow, it's worse than I thought.
- Yeah, I'm ruined.

Yeah, it's a really sad day
for Notting Hill as well.

That "happily ever after"
stuff, unsubscribe me.

I didn't get "happily ever
after" from Notting Hill.

What are you talking about?
Of course you did.

- Did you?
- Yes, of course. They're ly--

They're on the park bench.
She's got her head in his knee.

She's a "regular girl."

Maybe, but we don't know
for sure

she's not gonna go back
to working the street.

All we know is that
in the beginning,

she's pretty much up for
anything but kissing,

and in the end,
she's open to kissing him.

- (laughs): No. No.
- And it gives us hope.

You have got your Julia Roberts
movies so twisted.

And that's all we want.
A little hope.

No, that is Pretty Woman,

where she is
a lady of the night,

and this is Notting Hill,

where she's
a very famous actress.

Oh. Well, don't listen to me.

What do I know?
Look, you're the director.

You're gonna make
the right choice.

I'm just saying,
for people like me,

who may not necessarily get the
metaphor of the split screen.

You may not get
the deeper metaphor,

but you're gonna see it.

You're gonna see
this bright line between them

that we're gonna ache
to see blur.

You know, but maybe it can't.

- Mm.
- Maybe it doesn't.

Right. Right. Yeah.

(breathes deeply)

But what do we know, right?

'Cause all we know at this point

is that the cowboy
likes the alien.

Does the alien like the cowboy?

She's on the fence.

Right.

Because they got problems.

Because she's an alien and he's
a cowboy, and that's a problem.

But is it a problem
they can't overcome?

Here's a question.

Are they even gonna try?

What do you think?

Do you think they're gonna try?

I think... (sighs)

I think this was
a great brainstorm.

So...

what'd you decide
about the split screen?

I have a better idea.

(nickers)

I don't think you need it.

I think the connection between
these characters is so strong

that nothing can
come between them.

Jod?

Jody?

(neighs)

♪ ♪

(mug shatters)

- GAIL (over phone): Hello?
- Dead guy on ice.

What?

There's a dead guy on ice
at the hotel, Gail.

Wait. Sorry.
What are you talking about?

Well, if you think
that doesn't make sense,

- don't order the fruit plate.
- Hold on.

You're seriously telling me
you've just seen a dead body?

Yes, Gail.

On the rocks. In the hotel.

What hotel?

The one
I just saw you in, Gail!

He was so dead, Gail.

He was very dead. Super dead.

Hold on.
How did you even get there?

Gail, you asked me
to do this! Okay?

- So please try and keep up.
- I know. I'm sticking.

I went to Ryder's apartment
just like you told me.

That's where Iggy with
the sword gave me the neon suit

and they sent me to the man
with the leopard print head.

He goes by the name of Doone.

It was Doone's goons
who dirtied my Shirley,

and not in a fun way, Gail.

I think they were
trying to kill me, Gail!

Step away and calm down.

I am gonna handle everything.

- No more handling!
- (groans)

- I want the police!
- You're very aggressive.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to yell.
I want the police.

You are not gonna talk
to the police.

You don't talk to anyone
about this, okay? -(stammers)

- You listen to me.
- I'm calling the police.

You are not
talking to the police.

- Excuse me, sir.
- GAIL: Wait, who's there?

Who's there? Who's there?

It's the police.
I'm gonna talk to them.

No, no, no, no, no!
Don't talk...

No parking at any time.

Sorry.

Just making sure
we're both here.

I'm-I'm here, mate.

I want to report a crime.

- Okay.
- An ice crime.

(sighs)

Yeah. You're still
getting a ticket, mate.

(softly):
All right.

COLT:
I got to tell Jody.

(whispers):
About the dead guy.

How do you know he was dead?

He could've just been
knocked out.

- On ice?
- Yeah.

Ice baths are very good
for inflammation.

And are you forgetting
that you were high?

How can I if you keep fixating

- on that one point?
- Okay, you know what,

let me just stop you
right there.

Whatever you told Jody
last night

- has got her all fired up.
- I don't know what I said.

About what?

And now I have to build a truck

- for a 250-foot jump.
- Huh?

- In a day and a half!
- Sounds pretty cool, actually.

And on top of that,
the fight scene today,

Jody has decided that she wants
to do it all in one take.

A oner. -JODY: Dan, did you
tell him about the oner?

- Yes.
- So cool.

- Right?
- Yeah.

- So good. He's into it.
- Hi.

Hey. Yeah, can I talk to you
for a second? -Okay,

about this sequence today,
Ryder's a no-show. -Yeah.

Again, he's probably on
a bender or something.

Well, it's interesting
you say that,

- because that's...
- Yeah.

...that's what I want to talk
to you about. -Me, too.

Me, too. Because we don't even
need him. -He... (chuckles)

Well... -We don't need him.
I had an epiphany last night.

Let me just tell you.

- Last night?
- I was so excited.

Yeah. -After we spoke,
it all came to me.

Really? -Yeah,
the third act, this sequence,

- all of it. I've been s...
- After talking to me?

Yeah. You know, I was shocked

- when you showed up. Right?
- Yeah.

- But...
- Well, it was... shocking.

But I just started to wonder
if maybe

you showed up
just at the right time, and...

I've been going for this thing
in the action,

and I've never been able
to get it.

Like, this feeling
of the pursuit of love.

And how far would you go for
the one that you love and...

(choking chuckles) -You know?
And then... (chuckles)

Yeah. -You know, I realize
it's not very far with Ryder,

- 'cause he's a drip.
- Right.

- And he runs weird.
- Right.

- And he can't do action. But...
- Well, it's...

...you can.

- You can.
- (sighs)

I'm unlimited with you.

I can do everything
and everything with you,

and it just made my brain
just...

(mimics explosion)

So cool.

I don't need cuts.
I don't need gimmicks. -Really?

I don't need anything.
I just need you.

- (exhales)
- To finish this movie.

You know, maybe even make it
a great movie. -Wow.

You know?

- Wow. Okay.
- What do you think?

Do you want to work together?

Shoot the shit out of Sydney
Opera House in four hours?

- Three hours and 52 minutes.
- Three hours and 52 minutes?

Yeah.

What are we waiting for?

Okay, good.
(chuckles) Good! Okay!

Venti, Venti, come on.

I'm gonna get some dots
on your face, 'cause I need you

but not your face. -Oh, God.
Get-- Yeah, just get rid of it.

Yeah, I'm gonna stick Ryder's
head on you. -All of it. Just--

- Okay. Cool. Okay, okay.
- Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Ready for a take?
Make it rain, please!

("I Believe in a Thing Called
Love" by The Darkness playing)

Let me get out,
for Christ's sake.

And... action!

(yelling)

(grunting)

♪ Can't explain
all the feelings ♪

♪ That you're making me feel ♪

- (yells)
- (grunts)

♪ My heart's in overdrive
and you're behind ♪

♪ The steering wheel ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ God, you're touching me ♪

♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪

♪ Just listen
to the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There's a chance
we could make it now ♪

♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪

♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Huh! ♪

♪ ♪

Go!

♪ I want to kiss you
every minute, every hour ♪

♪ Every day ♪

♪ You got me in a spin,
but everythin' is A-okay ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ God, you're touching me ♪

(grunts) -♪ I believe
in a thing called love ♪

♪ Just listen
to the rhythm of my heart ♪

♪ There's a chance
we could make it now ♪

♪ We'll be rocking
till the sun goes down ♪

♪ I believe in a thing
called love ♪

♪ Oh...! ♪

- Oh.
- JODY: Thank you.

- How'd we do, boss?
- Yeah, it was good.

I mean, it was amazing.

It was so amazing,
we're gonna go do some karaoke,

- if you...
- Oh.

If you like karaoke,

you know, you could--
you could come.

Like, I'd--
I would like you to.

I'll be there.

Okay. (clicks tongue)

I don't know what that was.

That was just so awful and...
(chuckles)

- Really? Okay.
- Yeah, who's she?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Holster that.
- It's holstered.

It's done. Forget.
You-you never saw it.

NIGEL: Jody, do you like
Christina or Britney?

I saw that.

- You saw the finger guns?
- Oh, I saw the finger guns.

(exhales)

She started it.

GAIL:
Hi.

COLT: I didn't ha--
I didn't have breakfast.

MADDY:
Yeah, you did.

I disagree. -I gave you
a brekky wrap this morning.

Technically,
this is all meal penalty,

- if you want the... -GAIL: Oh.
- It's fine. Just-just sign.

Thanks. -I'm just saying,
not everyone's gonna be as cool

- about it as I am. You know?
- No, I get it.

What is this?

I've got you on a 5:55 flight
out of here. Okay?

- I have a car waiting for you.
- Now?

Engine's on. Yeah. Colt...

there is some serious shit
going down, okay?

I just told Jody I was gonna
meet her for karaoke.

And I'm actually embarrassed
that I got you here

- and got you all tangled up.
- (sighs)

I just want to get you out
of here before it escalates.

Get your stuff together.
We're going.

You're gonna miss the flight.
Thank you.

- Sorry.
- ALMA: Okay, but I'm late,

and I got to get Ryder's dogs
to daycare.

Fluffy needs her oatmeal bath.
She gets hives.

BIRDIE: Hey, should I be
looking for another job, Alma?

You're Ryder's assistant.
You must know.

All I can tell you is that
if Ryder is a no-show tomorrow,

the studio will shut us down.

Ugh. Poor Jody.

Say hello to directors' jail.

♪ If you want to be with me... ♪

- Am I crazy or is Nigel hot?
- Whoo! Hmm?

- ♪ I'm a genie in a bottle ♪
- JODY: He's-he's...

He-- Wow, he's got
some great qualities.

He really does. Yeah, you
should go for it, Venti. -Yeah?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- (barking, growling)
- COLT: Jean-Claude.

Sorry, his commands
are in French...

French. I know.

I worked with him on a movie,
you know.

Can't believe he kept him.

Well, it's more for
a party trick, really.

This one's got a command
where he'll bite people

- in the balls.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. We-we know.

- (stammers) No, no, don't.
- Attaque...

- Alma, right? I'm Colt...
- Colt Seavers.

I know who you are.

NIGEL:
♪ If you want to be with me ♪

♪ I can make your wish
come true ♪

♪ You got to make
a big impression ♪

♪ You got to like what you do ♪

♪ I'm a genie in a bottle... ♪

So, the last time I saw Tom,
everything was pretty normal.

He and Henry were
in some kind of drug-induced,

shirtless shit-show
grappling match.

But then Gail called me early
the next morning in a panic.

Drop whatever you're doing.

Tom has lost his phone again.

So I found the phone,
the one that Dressler,

Ryder's creepy security goon,
just called me about.

Metalstorm crew,
we have a call time

of 6:00 a.m. tomorrow. Don't
be late. -All right, mate.

- All right, thanks, mate!
- (booing)

Hey. Two shots of tequila,
please. -Ooh, Gail.

- Hey.
- Wow.

I didn't think you liked
coming to these things.

What are you talking about?
I love listening to people

murder my favorite songs.
Thank you. -(chuckles)

- (slurps) Mmm.
- MC: "Gin and Juice."

COLT:
I got to get to karaoke.

- Hey!
- (dogs barking)

ALMA:
Thanks, Amy.

Au revoir, Jean-Claude.

You got to get rid
of that thing.

Why don't you just give it
to Gail?

Whatever's on this phone
is a goddamn bazooka

that'll blow
a movie star-sized hole

through somebody's career.

I'm happy to get this
into the hands of a good guy.

- Okay...
- For the right price.

What do you want for it?

A producer credit.

On Metalstorm?

Look, I need
career protection, okay?

I'm burning myself with this.

I'm a stunt guy.

What am I supposed to do
about it?

You're a stunt guy
who used to date the director

and seems to be getting close
to rekindling

some sort of short but
legendary torrid love affair.

Do you think
we're close to rekindling?

I mean, it feels like it
to me...

(scoffs) Is it a deal or not?

It can help you find Ryder.

- I'll do what I can.
- (scoffs)

I don't have the passcode.

Just figure it out,
okay, stuntman?

Just find Ryder.

I'm gonna need you
to sign an NDA.

As you know,
nothing in this industry...

I don't have time for an NDA.
I got to--

- I'm late for karaoke.
- (groans) -(stun guns crackle)

- (groans)
- (dogs barking)

- (truck doors closing)
- (tires squealing)

(horn blares)

♪ ♪

Jean-Claude!

(barking)

Ryder's phone. Where is it?

(engine starts)

What am I doing?
What am I doing?

(tires squealing)

- You sad that he left town?
- Who?

- Colt.
- No, he didn't.

He's coming here. He's swinging
by to sing some karaoke.

Jody. No.

I... I gave him the tickets.

- (barking)
- I see it! I see it!

- (whimpering)
- Engage your core.

(tires squealing)

(barks)

(tires squealing)

I need him to finish the movie.

Why would-- why wouldn't you
talk to me about it?

(tires squealing)

Give me that.

- (barks)
- Fine.

Call me chicken.

- (barking)
- Huh?

All right. Okay, tough guy.

(horn blaring)

- (grunts)
- (barks)

Okay, Jean-Claude.

I'll buy you a drink
when this is over.

- Attaque!
- (barking)

Get away! Help! Help!

You've been so distracted.
You should have spoken to me.

This crossed wires-- Excuse me.

Can I get another, please?
Thank you.

(Rondell shouting frantically)

God!

- (screams) Get me out!
- (passing horn honks)

(button beeps)

RONDELL: Stay back! Stay back!
Stay back! Stay back!

(grunting)

I thought you wanted me
to get rid of him.

And he just left?

Gonna need a hand out here.

(grunting)

Who are you working for?!
Where's Ryder?!

- I don't know! I don't know!
- Tell me where he is!

- (sharp thud)
- Oh.

- (tires squealing)
- (horns blaring)

(grunting)

- (groans)
- Where's the phone, stuntman?

I need that video!

Wow, he didn't tell you.

Jean-Claude!

- (growling)
- (pained screaming)

Can I get another one, please?

- GAIL: I...
- Thank you.

I really thought
I was doing my job.

It's fine. It's fine.

- But you know what?
- He can do whatever he wants.

He's an adult human male,
and he should do as he pleases.

- He should just...
- Right. Yeah, he is.

(mouth full): ...you know,
go his own way, you know?

But that means
y-you can focus up now.

- Yeah.
- You know, you have a massive--

Do you know you have
a big, fat hit on your hands?

I know. Yeah.

- It's High Noon at...
- High Noon.

- ...the edge of the universe.
- Edge of the universe.

Yes. Hear it yourself.

Forget about him. Just...

MC: All right, uh, next up,
uh, we got a Jody.

- Is there a Jody in the house?
- Wow. God. -GAIL: Yes!

- Right here, right here!
- Ah. There she is.

Big round of applause for Jody!

(crowd cheering)

I actually want
to change my song.

- Oh, uh, okay.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- That one.
- Oh.

♪ ♪

(passing horn blares)

("Against All Odds"
by Phil Collins playing)

(singing along): ♪ How can I
just let you walk away ♪

♪ Just let you leave
without a trace ♪

♪ When I stand here taking
every breath with you? ♪

- (passing horn honks)
- (grunts)

- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
- (grunting)

♪ You're the only one ♪

- ♪ Who really knew me at all ♪
- (groaning)

(passing horn honks)

♪ How can you just
walk away from me ♪

♪ When all I can do
is watch you leave? ♪

- (barking)
- Jean-Claude.

♪ 'Cause we've shared
the laughter and the pain ♪

- (tires squealing)
- (grunting)

♪ And even shared the tears ♪

♪ You're the only one ♪

♪ Who really knew me at all ♪

♪ So take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there's just
an empty space ♪

I love this song.

♪ And there's nothing left here
to remind me ♪

♪ Just the memory of your face ♪

- (horn blares)
- ♪ Ooh, take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there's just
an empty space ♪

♪ And you coming back to me ♪

♪ Is against the odds ♪

♪ And that's what
I've got to face ♪

♪ I wish I could just
make you turn around ♪

♪ Turn around and see me cry ♪

♪ There's so much
I need to say to you ♪

♪ So many reasons why ♪

(both yelling)

♪ You're the only one ♪

♪ Who really knew me at all ♪

Come on, everyone. Everybody.

♪ So take a look at me now ♪

♪ Well, there's just
an empty space ♪

♪ And there's nothing left here
to remind me... ♪

- (horn honking)
- Get off, bitch!

♪ Now, take a look
at me now... ♪

(horn blares)

(whimpers)

♪ But to wait for you... ♪

- Brake!
- I can't!

There's something stuck!
(grunts)

Jean-Claude,
what are you doing?!

What are you just
sitting there for?!

♪ Take a good look
at me now... ♪

- (tires squealing)
- (song stops)

(groans)

- (barks)
- COLT: Oh.

- ALMA: You okay?
- (song resumes)

You?

♪ But to wait for you
is all I can do ♪

♪ And that's
what I've got to face ♪

(crowd singing along):
♪ Take a good look at me now ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll still be
standing here ♪

♪ And you coming back to me
is against all odds ♪

(Jean-Claude barking)

♪ It's the chance
I've got to take. ♪

("I Hate Myself for Loving You"
playing)

- ♪ Midnight, getting uptight ♪
- Colt?

♪ And where are you? ♪

Where's Jody?

She left. Where were you?

At a rave? In a sewer?

- What's with the dog?
- It's a long story.

(clicks tongue, sighs)

Give me a sunset on ice
and a water back.

BARTENDER:
Coming right up.

VENTI:
♪ Things that you do ♪

♪ I want to walk,
but I run back to you... ♪

DAN:
What's this?

It's Ryder's phone.

- Why do you have Ryder's phone?
- All I know is

some really bad guys
are trying to get it.

Are you serious? What?

I just got to figure out
what's on there.

Then find Ryder and get him
to finish Jody's movie.

Okay. Well, shit, yeah.

Venti, she's like a tech genius
at this stuff.

- (crowd cheering)
- Thank you!

DAN:
Hey, Venti!

- Ventilicious.
- Hey.

What's poppin' on, boys?

- Yeah, Ventinator.
- (grunting playfully)

COLT: You know how
to get into this thing?

Oh, I've seen
some of these guys.

This thing is a vault.

It'll take me like two or
three days to crack this thing.

Yeah, but you're like
a tech genius, you know?

What if you don't have
three days?

VENTI: You need the password.
I'm telling you that.

- You're next.
- (gasps, squeals)

Nigel. Nigel!

Knowing Ryder, it's...

written on a Post-it note
in his apartment somewhere.

Okay.

MC:
Okay, next up, we've got Dan.

Come on, buddy. Come on, Dan.

Don't be shy, mate.

Come on, buddy. Let's go.

You owe me!

(exhales sharply) It's got
to be around here somewhere.

Mm-hmm. -Let's just split up.
Jean-Claude...

(squawks)

♪ ♪

COCKATOO:
Hello.

Oh.

You know what? I deserve this.

Idiot.

Colt?

Colt! I got it! Colt!

COLT:
To finishing the movie.

I think I got it.

(sucks teeth) All right.

That guy mentioned a video.

Oh, baby, I'm here at work,

but I got a little something
for you, a little surprise.

(whispers):
It's just above my ass. Eh?

COLT:
Oh, my God. Cover your eyes.

I think I've seen Tom's ass
more than my own. -(whimpers)

Okay.

Now is the winter
of our discontent

Made glorious summer
by this sun of York...

DAN:
He's such a dick.

But, God, he's good.

Yeah.

COLT:
What about this?

- (crowd cheering)
- (rap music playing)

Oh, here's that party his
assistant was talking about.

DAN:
Iggy.

That's Henry.
That's Ryder's stunt double.

He looks a lot like the guy
I saw at the hotel.

DAN: When you were high?
And you were seeing unicorns?

And a dead guy on ice.

(shouts)

- (crowd cheering)
- (yells excitedly)

RYDER:
Hell yeah! Come on!

What?! What?!

Do I do my own stunts?

I think I do.

I think I freakin' do.

Yeah, baby.

(cheering quiets)

(scattered whooping, murmuring)

RYDER: Uh, gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme...

Gimme the phone.
Gimme the phone.

- Oh, shit.
- Did they just kill Henry?

♪ ♪

They just killed Henry.

- (phone vibrating)
- Oh, it's Venti.

- Hey, uh... Hello?
- VENTI: Dan.

Turn on the news right now.

I can't believe this!

The dead body discovered this
morning at the Pendleton Hotel

has been identified
as Henry Herrera,

an American stuntman known for
doubling superstar Tom Ryder.

Authorities are investigating
his death as a murder.

Their prime suspect
is another stuntman,

Colt Seavers, who was
last seen in the hotel room

where Herrera's body
was discovered.

Police have released
this security footage

showing Seavers leaving
the scene of the crime.

If you have any information,
please do us a favor,

reach out to Crime Stoppers
by the number on your screen.

And we'll have more on that
later. In the meantime...

I got to call Jody.

RYDER (over speakers):
It's high noon

at the edge of
the universe, folks.

(sniffs)

JODY:
Which one was that?

EDITOR:
That was take four.

RYDER (over speakers):
Goddamn it, Jody.

I mean, it looks like
frickin' Burning Man.

My balls are drenched.
I need a towel.

(laughs)

This dude always forgets
that he's mic'd.

- I know.
- He says the craziest shit.

JODY:
Craziest shit. I know, I know.

What, is it on airplane mode?

DAN:
If this was The Fugitive

and you were Harrison Ford...

the bad guys would be
closing in.

- (clanking)
- (cockatoo squawks)

BOTH:
I call tomahawk.

- Damn it.
- You stay alive.

Stay alive.

No matter how long it takes.

No matter how far, I will

find you!

- Last of the Mohicans.
- Ah,

boy! Stunts!

(groans) Damn it.

Shit, is this rubber? Oh, God.

(exhales)

(grunts softly)

(gunfire)

- Daniel Day-Lewis!
- (grunts)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(squawking)

(grunts)

- (growls)
- (yells)

Jason Bourne!

(both grunting)

(grunting)

(screams)

(grunts, groans)

(gun cocks)

(gun cocks, fires)

(both grunting)

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!

- (gunshot)
- Give me the phone!

Where's the phone, stuntman?

We got to get this phone
to the cops.

- DAN: Okay.
- COLT: It's the only thing--

(grunts)

(grunts)

(straining)

(both grunting)

COLT:
Hey, man bun!

Where's the phone, stuntman?

Jean-Claude, attaque!

(growling)

(screaming)

- (gun cocks)
- (groaning)

I'm gonna take that.

Be careful of that, big fella.

Shut up!

I'm gonna go out the front
and make sure no one's there.

- Okay.
- All right.

Hey, take Jean-Claude,
would you?

- Okay. Allons-y!
- (barks)

Just you and me, stuntman.

Shit.

(phone beeps)

Colt's down.

Big fella got away, though.

Uh-huh.

You can make it. You can
make it. You can make it!

No! It's too dangerous!

Got to be stairs.

Okay, okay, okay, okay!

(groans)

(guns cocking)

Colt. Hey, man.

(grunts)

(prolonged yelling
over speakers)

Look at that.
Yeah, makin' a movie here.

Could you leave us, please?

Yeah.

JODY:
Ooh, Gail. So tense.

RYDER:
You remember old Dressy, right?

(groans, exhales)

Stuntman.

I never forget a fist.
(sighs)

Listen, I'm gonna need
the phone. Where is it?

It's a matter of urgency.
I need to know.

Right. The one that proves
that you killed Henry, not me.

- Eh...
- That phone.

- Well...
- Yeah.

I'm gonna hold on to that.

Seems like it's the only thing
keeping me alive right now.

What?

He's the prime suspect, Jody.

Gail, come on.
Are you kidding me?

- I know.
- Colt?

- Yeah.
- There's no way.

- That's what I said.
- There's no way!

What went wrong?

- What went wrong?
- Mmm.

What went wrong?
Well, as I look at it,

you know, you're--
you're torturing me

right outside your superyacht
like a Bond villain.

Dipshit!

What went wrong?

What went right?!

(exhales) You changed.

You changed.

Yeah. We used to be
like brothers, you and I.

Entered into the sacred bond
of actor and stuntman, man.

- Oh, God.
- Yeah.

You think Colt could murder
a human being?

- GAIL: No, I don't.
- Did you tell them that?

- I said that.
- This is a man--

This is a man
who spent 23 minutes

ushering a cockroach
out of my room once,

and I was like, "Just stomp
on it," and he was like,

"No, let it live."
I mean, it's Colt.

I told them all of that.

I told him who he is--
who I thought he was.

Did you, emphatically?

- Yes, I did.
- Yeah, because he

was at the airport
where you sent him.

He never got on the plane, Jody.

- How many movies have we done?
- Oh, I don't know.

How many? Yeah, too many
to count, that's right.

Yeah. -'Cause I put you
in the contract, didn't I?

I put you there, right there.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? That's right,

I had the assistant,
the makeup and hair... -Right.

...uh, trainer, and then boom,

Ryder's number one stuntman,
Colt Seavers.

That was me, I did that.
I did that for you.

What are you gonna
do for me? Huh?

Die, I guess?

Right? Die?

- Is that the plan?
- RYDER: It's nothing personal.

Oh, my God.
Well, I'm taking it personal.

- Yeah, I can see that.
- The torture.

You know what?
It's just business.

- The drugging, the Taser.
- You know, it's just business.

I mean, Tom Ryder's
a global brand.

- I'm taking it personal.
- I literally move markets.

If I go down... (whooshes)
the freakin' Dow goes down.

If you break your back,
I replace you like this. Boom.

You know, if you'd just
stuck to your job

instead of trying to
hog the spotlight,

this wouldn't have happened.
I mean, Henry wouldn't be

on the scene, his accident
wouldn't have happened,

your accident...
freaky little fall.

'Cause you just
push my buttons, man.

Wait a second. What?

(Ryder sighs deeply)

RYDER:
What?

What did you say
about my accident?

Well, you know,
you pushed me over the edge.

You literally pushed a button.
I mean, you didn't--

I mean, I pushed the button.

I had to crank it up a notch.

That was you?

Yeah.

Had to teach you
a little lesson, didn't I?

(Southern accent): Got a little
too big for your boots,

didn't you?

(normal accent):
Henry's no different, you know.

(laughing)

Hey. You do your own stunts?

Do I do my own stunts?

In front of all those people,
that's humiliating.

And yeah, I'm gonna
kick you into next week.

(scoffs)
But then Gail, you know...

- Remember Gail, right?
- I've known her for 15 years.

Oh, yeah. I forget, 'cause
you've been out of the game

- so long, you know?
- I introduced the two of you.

Calls me up and says,
"It doesn't look good."

Bad for marketing and renting,

and blah, blah, blah,
and murder and...

I know, I-I-I d-- (sniffles)

(crying): I real-- I really
don't need this right now.

Fucking Henry!

Don't worry about it.

You lay low...

and I will handle everything.

Maybe we don't know people
as well as we think we do.

- Oh, my God.
- You know?

Oh, my God, it's Colt.

- Give me the phone.
- No.

- What are you doing?
- Gail, get off the pho--

- Oh! What are you doing?
- Oh, my-- Jesus Christ, Gail!

- Oh, my-- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my God.

- Let me help you.
- No, stop it.

- Let me take it up to--
- Do you know what?

- Just give me a minute.
- Yep.

Just give me a minute.

- Yep.
- Come on.

RYDER:
This plan was so simple.

Yeah, we were gonna put
Henry's body on ice

so it doesn't decompose.

We could pull you out from
that rock you crawled under.

- My life, yep.
- You know, scan your face.

Dressy here is gonna stick you
on the murder video.

Drug you, drive you
and Henry's body

off the Sydney Harbour Bridge,
in your car-- boom.

You got murder, suicide.

Cut. Check the gate.

Move on. Beautiful.

I think we have different ideas
of what simple is.

Y-You just didn't
stay down, did you?

You had to, like, uh,
create a big scene,

like Colt Seavers does.

You could-- But you know what?
This can still work

because we got the murder,
now we just need the suicide.

(sighs heavily)

- Sad.
- It's plot heavy.

We're getting tangled
in exposition.

Lose the last part--
the suicide.

You lose the audience
if there's too much.

Colt.

Where's the phone?

Tom, you need carbs!

Your brain runs on glucose!

(stammers)
For simple cognitive functions.

- You need them.
- Colt, you're the fall guy.

You're the fall guy, you know.

Where's the phone?

I mean, I-- You can keep
taking hits all night,

but you know what?

I can think of a few
other people who can't.

We could bring Dan up here,
maybe Jody, perhaps.

I mean, I like Jody,
but you know.

There's no phone.

Okay? That's the twist.

No phone.

He shot it out of my hand.

Up there, go check.

You, too, all of you.
I'll wait.

- (laughs) He shot it.
- You didn't know you did that?

It's crazy. I've been wanting
to tell you this whole time.

No, he didn't.

- I was by the door frame.
- No.

And he shoots it
out of my hands!

- No.
- Take the ties off.

- Oh, my God, what a relief.
- That's crazy.

You were right about one thing,
that was the only thing

keeping you alive.
(sighs)

I really wish you could see

what Jody's gonna do
with Metalstorm.

It's gonna be awesome.

And honestly...
it's gonna be a banger.

DRESSLER: Not so cocky now,
are you, mate?

Jesus, Mike Mike,
put a lid on it.

RYDER: Wish you didn't
break that bond, bro.

Wish you didn't break that bond.

All right, stuntman,
time for a drink, mate. Eh?

- (groans)
- There we go. Eh?

Help!

- (Dressler laughs)
- Help!

- Shut up. Shut up.
- Help!

Shut up, mate.

(Dressler laughs)

There.

This fire gag's real.

(screams)

♪ ♪

(motor revs)

Come on, guys, start the boat.

He's gone the wrong way.

♪ ♪

Shit!

(rapid gunfire)

(gunfire continues)

(gunfire continues)

♪ ♪

(tie snaps)

(ringing)

Oh, Colt.

Colt?

- Hey.
- What's going on?

What'd you sing?

- What?
- At karaoke.

- I'm sorry I didn't make it.
- It doesn't matter.

Listen. Everyone's saying
you killed Henry.

- What's happening?
- Oh, that's not true.

You're gonna hear a lot
of things that aren't true.

I just wanted to say that
when I first got here,

when you asked how I was doing
and I gave you the thumbs-up,

when you were like,
"That's stunt guy bullshit,"

and you're right,
it's total cliché,

but, you know,
there's a reason you don't see

the thumbs-down stunt guy.

You know, it's kind of part
of our training.

Right? You know,
you get hit by a car,

you get thrown out of a window,

you get set on fire,
you give the thumbs-up.

But, uh, after my accident--

turns out was not an accident,
by the way--

I, uh...

I wasn't okay.

And not because I broke my back,

because I just felt
like a huge...

failure.

And I realized that, uh...

you know, I'm not invincible.

Huge shocker.

And I thought maybe
I wasn't so special

or something, so I, uh...

just figured that
the thumbs-down version of me

wasn't what you got
into it for, so I disappeared.

But, you know, I didn't
just disappear on you.

Uh... just disappeared on,

(sniffles)
on, uh, myself... too.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

You deserved more than that.
I'm sorry.

I just wanted you to be honest.

You know, honestly,
it, uh, all hurts.

Getting hit by a car hurts.

Getting thrown out
of a window hurts.

(sniffles) Getting set on fire
really hurts.

But, uh...

(exhales)

...none of it ever hurt as much
as not being with you.

Where are you?

Is that from a movie
or did I just make that up?

It's pretty good. (laughs)

- DRESSLER: There he is!
- You can use it if you want.

No, please...

For what it's worth,
I'm still in love with you.

And I don't think you should
give up on that happy ending.

Colt.

COLT:
I got to go.

Colt.

♪ Tonight ♪

Wait, Colt.

♪ I want to see it
in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the tension ♪

♪ There's something
that drives me wild ♪

♪ And tonight ♪

♪ I want to make it all
come true ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl,
you were made for me ♪

♪ Girl, I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made
for loving you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can't get enough of you,
baby ♪

♪ You can't get enough of me ♪

♪ I was made for loving you ♪

♪ And you were made
for loving me ♪

♪ I can give it all to you,
baby ♪

♪ Can you give it all to me? ♪

♪ ♪

(phone vibrating)

That's a wrap on Colt Seavers.

(phone vibrates)

Gail?

GAIL:
Jody.

Colt's...

Colt's dead.

♪ ♪

(singer vocalizing)

Police are investigating
an explosion on Sydney Harbour

just outside the Opera House,

where it appears a boat
has collided with...

♪ ♪

♪ I was made for loving you,
baby ♪

♪ You were made for loving me ♪

♪ I can't get enough... ♪

...an alleged suicide
of Colt Seavers,

the man responsible for the
recent murder of Henry Herrera.

♪ I was made for loving you ♪

♪ And you were made
for loving me ♪

♪ I can give it all to you,
baby ♪

♪ Can you give it all to me? ♪

Hey. Hey.

Whoa. Huh?

Looking for Stunt Coordinator
Dan Tucker.

- You seen him?
- No.

(clattering)

Hey! You two.

Helmets off. Looking for
Stunt Coordinator Dan Tucker.

NEWSMAN (over TV): Following
a dramatic boat explosion

on Sydney Harbour, police are
currently investigating

the suicide of
American stuntman Colt Seavers.

(button clicks)

Following a dramatic boat
explosion on Sydney Harbour,

police are
currently investigating

the suicide of American stunt--

(button clicks)

Following
a dramatic boat explosion

on Sydney Harbour, police are--

Following a dramatic boat
explosion on Sydney Harbour,

police are
currently investigating

the suicide of
American stuntman Colt Seavers.

(screams)

(robotic voice): Jody, you need
to be quiet. Don't say a word.

- (grunting)
- (robotic scream)

(robotic screaming)

Wait, wait. No.

(robotic groaning)

Jody...

(robotic groaning)

You think you can come
to my set and sneak up on me?

(robotic groan)

Wait!

It's me. It's me.

Remember?

Jesus Christ.

I knew it.

- I knew it.
- (groans)

(Jody panting)

I knew you were alive.

(normal voice):
Three shows a day,

six days a week for three years.

The Miami Vice stunt show.

You remembered.

Yes.
I'm happy you're alive, Colt.

Colt, I'm so happy you're alive.

- I knew it.
- Oh, my God.

- What were you doing...
- Nice work with the pen.

So sorry. -No, it was great.
You got it out just in time.

I think the ink poisoning
didn't set in.

- (kisses) Chef's kiss.
- What's going on?

Huh? -Everyone's saying
that you killed Henry.

Ryder killed Henry.
He framed me.

There's footage of you.

- Well, he deepfaked me.
- What?

They do it all the time
on the Internet.

They take Tom Cruise's face,
and they put it on yours.

And you can't tell
the difference.

No. Okay, so where's
the real footage

of Ryder killing Henry?
How do we get it?

It was on Ryder's phone, and
then it got destroyed because

Dan's Last of the Mohicans
plan didn't work out. -What?

It's not his fault, you know?
He called tomahawk first, okay.

I got "blanks only."

And it was going
pretty well, actually,

and then Dressler showed up.

So he, you know, he does this,
like, Jason Bourne shit.

Okay, I have so many questions.
(pants)

Okay.

Who else knows you're alive?

- No one.
- Great.

No, that's the point.
I mean, I figure

we can't finish the movie
unless they think I'm dead.

What movie?

Metalstorm.

What about Metalstorm?

If they think I'm dead,
they'll come back and finish.

- Who?
- Ryder.

- Finish what?
- The movie.

- Metalstorm?
- Exactly.

- Are you insane? You are insane.
- What?

You need to be
burning your fingerprints off,

and you need to be
getting across the border

as fast as possible.

We're gonna hide you
until we can clear your name.

None of it matters anymore.
It's just a stupid movie.

- What?
- It's a stupid movie.

Don't say that.

That's Metalstorm
you're talking about.

That's the movie you spent
your whole life trying to make.

Who knows?

You might inspire a whole
generation of little Jodys

to pick up cameras
and make their own movies.

You're just-- you're special.

And all of us get to be
a part of something special

because it comes from you.

I obviously failed
at getting us our happy ending,

but I'll be damned
if I'm gonna let

Space Cowboy and Aliena
not have theirs.

♪ ♪

(Jody moans)

(knocking on door)

Jody, my love!

- One sec!
- (high-pitched): I'm coming...

- (shushes) Stop it.
- (muffled grunt)

(quietly):
Gail. She's in on it.

- What?
- Yes.

Okay, come on. -Let's just
kiss a little bit first.

No, come on, we g-- got to get
you in the bathroom, please.

Come on.

Come on.

- Christ!
- (knocking)

Got to work.

You all right in there,
my darling?

Here, this-- Take this soap
and rub it on my belly.

JODY:
Get in the bedroom.

- Okay. Colt. Are you good? Okay.
- Okay. Yeah.

- Be quiet. Don't make a sound.
- GAIL: Jod?

- My head. The head.
- What?

(knocking)

- Hi!
- GAIL: Hey. Hello, you.

- Hey. Hey.
- Aw, come here.

Thank you.

GAIL:
Aw, how's my favorite director?

JODY:
Uh, a bit emotional, you know.

Oh, no-- Jesus.

Like Johnny and Amber
have just been here.

(laughs) I just need to vent,
'cause it's been...

- it's just been so much.
- I know. I know.

- I'm so sorry about Colt.
- Thank you.

You know, it's such a shame,
but what a mess.

- Right.
- Who knew?

- Yeah.
- I mean, I tried to help him.

I hope you know that, but
sometimes you can't help people

- who don't want to be saved.
- Right.

But silver lining

to this very dark
(kisses) cloud.

I've got Ryder to come back.

- And I have a plan.
- Really?

But we're not
gonna be able to do

your big third act set piece,
the car jump.

It is an impossible jump,
especially now with Colt gone.

- Dead.
- He's gone.

- He's so dead.
- Stay with me.

I spoke to Venti.

She says that she can do it
in VFX.

The car jump.

All we need to focus on
is Ryder's new,

final, bombastic monologue.

I've read the pages.

God, you smashed it.
I knew you would.

- We're gonna get him covered.
- Yeah.

You, meanwhile...

please go and rest up in Fiji,
on me.

You know?
Plop yourself on a beach.

And I'm gonna take care
of all of it for you.

Gail.

You've got so much to process.

- No.
- I can take care of all of it.

No. This is my movie.

- Now, listen to me.
- (sighs)

I've learned so much from you.

- I know. Thank you.
- And I'm very grateful.

But the lesson I stand by now,

- that you've taught me...
- Yeah. Yeah.

You fall down,
you get right back up.

(inhales deeply)

(sputtering chuckle)

I am directing this movie, yeah.

GAIL:
Oh, my God, that's my girl.

It went in. I'm so proud
of you. -Good. Okay.

Thank you. All right,
let's get you out of here.

- One last thing.
- Yeah?

Have you seen Dan? -Nope.
I think he's by the taco truck.

- You haven't heard from him?
- He's probably-probably

over there somewhere.
Thank you so much.

- I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.

Thanks for the pep talk.
Okay, buh-bye. -(sighs)

- Love you, darling.
- Love you, too. Bye!

Oof.

(robotic voice):
You're gonna finish the movie.

No, I'm gonna clear your name.
Okay, now listen.

(normal voice):
Why can't we do both?

I think we can.

We're gonna bring him to set,

in a controlled environment,
and then we surround him...

And we beat the shit out of him.

No.

We're gonna force
a confession out of him

by putting him in a scene.

Right. -You know,
he always forgets he's mic'd.

That's better.

JODY: I just don't know
how to do it yet.

(exhales sharply)

I know how to do that.

Make him do his own stunt.

The impossible jump.

Then we beat the shit
out of him.

One seventy-four,
alpha, take two.

JODY (over bullhorn):
And action!

O-One second, one second,
one second.

- Action!
- (sighs)

(dramatic music playing)

(Southern accent):
It's high noon

at the edge of
the universe, folks.

(dramatic music swells)

Now, we're facing
a powerful enemy.

An alien species born of
the worst of humanity's traits.

Well, what our enemy doesn't see

is that their demise
is imminent.

And the most powerful weapon
in all galaxy?

Love.

Inside each and every
one of you is a spark, baby.

An ember.

A goddamn fire!

(crowd cheering)

Love is how we will win.

And even if we lose,

we're gonna die
fighting for a happy ending!

- (crowd cheering)
- Hell yeah!

Whoo!

Well, let's go and get it, then!

Get on out there and go!

Who's with me?!
Who is with me?! Let's go!

Cut! Yes!

So good, so good.

- Thank you.
- (normal accent): Was that it?

- God, yeah.
- Did we get it?

- It was so good.
- We got it?

- Magic. Yeah, yeah.
- IGGY: Yeah, it was hot, babe.

JODY:
Oh, my God. Gail was in floods.

I really felt that one.
I really felt that one.

- She was-- Of course you did.
- 'Cause I had tears.

Of course you did.
Yeah, I know. I can see them.

- (Gail exclaims) -(pants)
- Yeah, it was fantastic.

So, listen, all we have left
is the alien truck coverage.

- All right? That's it.
- No.

Yep. We're gonna do
the car jump. -No.

No one told me about
another setup. -We said-- No.

- There's another setup?
- Venti's gonna do that in VFX,

so we're out of here. -I know,
but we need his close-up.

All right? I need his close-up
right here for the coverage.

All right? 15 minutes tops.
That's all I need.

This is the bit,
do you remember,

where Space Cowboy steals
the alien vehicle? -Hmm.

- Come on. This is his moment.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm not gonna do
any driving, right?

Because I'm gonna feel
really nauseous.

It's a blue screen setup.

I need this. I need this, okay?

Zero notice here.

We're moving as fast
as we can, all right?

Everyone, double the pace, yes?!

Use those muscles!
Yes, good! Thank you!

♪ ♪

Everyone in position!

RUSH:
Light the pyro!

We need enough charges to blow
this canyon sky-high, people.

NIGEL (over radio):
McCabe, where are we?

Going as fast as I can, Nige.

We're as ready as we can be.

Okay. Hey, get Ray to come in

and check the mic
before we go, okay? -Copy.

Sound, can you come down here
and check Ryder's mic, please?

All right, Tom. You ready?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Remember this bit?

You're gonna be in
the alien vehicle. -Mm-hmm.

- Okay? Okay.
- Yep.

And with nowhere to go,

you're gonna jump the car
over the ravine.

So I just need
a quick pop on you...

(Southern accent): Space Cowboy
ain't scared of no ravine.

- Of course he's not.
- So I'm thinking maybe just

a couple of reaction shots
of me gritting my teeth. -Yeah.

Like, "Goddamn."
Something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stoic.

- Yeah, yeah. I like it.
- All right?

- What do you think?
- I like it. Okay.

I think it's gonna be great.
Yeah, I love the choice.

All right, let's pop these on.

- Okay. What's this?
- There you go.

No, this is because
you've escaped the aliens.

Is this necessary?
It's a bit much, no?

Yeah. It looks cool.
Raise the stakes.

It's kind of cool.

- Yeah. It's cool. Okay.
- Raise the stakes.

- Let's do it.
- 'Cause you know, Space Cowboy.

Nobody can get at
the Space Cowboy.

- No way. Even when he's cuffed.
- Excuse me. Tom, sorry.

Jesus, Ray. I told you
to do it before I got on set.

- Appreciate you, Tom.
- (device beeps)

Thank you. Sound good.

- Okay.
- Okay, great.

- So...
- So...

You got this guy
coming on your left. -Yep.

- Hey, bro.
- All right, take him out.

Someone else is gonna
crash down on the bonnet.

You're gonna take him out.

No, no, no. See, what I'm
thinking is maybe I come down,

I take him out first,
and I'm like "pow, pow, pow."

- I slide over and go "pow."
- Yeah. Yeah.

And then maybe I say
a little line like,

"I was shooting aliens
way before I was paid to."

Fantastic.
All right, let's lock it up.

- Let's shoot, Nigel.
- NIGEL: Standing by, please.

(sighs):
All right.

Take one. Marker.

In three, two, one, action.

(dramatic music playing)

RYDER:
Not your lucky day, alien.

You got to go.

You can't outrun me.

I'm Space Cowboy!

Yahoo!

You are approaching the ravine.

There's nowhere else to go.

- Turn right. Go on.
- (grunts)

You have no choice.

You're gonna
have to make the jump.

In three, two, one.

Yeehaw!

(normal accent): Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hey, hey, hey.

Who is that in the car with him?

We're-we're in the middle
of a take right now, asshole.

What are you doing? Ah!

He's just buckling you in.
Safety first. That's it. -Ow!

It's really tight.
Is this necessary?

Hey, we are filming right now.

Keep rolling, keep rolling.

Sell it, Tom. It looks amazing.
Take a deep breath.

It does not look--
Get out of the car.

Howdy.

- (engine starts)
- No, no, wait. Stop. No.

Wait, what's happening?

Yeehaw!

RYDER:
Oh, my God! Whoa!

Get to the cars!

(laughing excitedly)

Jody, what the hell
are you doing?!

I'm trying to get something
real out of him, Gail.

There's no cameras on him!

Hey, Dan? They're approaching
Ambush Alley right now.

We're ready.

(Ryder screams)

RYDER:
Let me out right now!

What are you gonna do, huh?
You gonna kill me? Again?!

♪ ♪

- Can you untie me?
- No.

McCabe!

Smoke screen in three, two, one!

RYDER:
Whoa!

This does not seem safe, man!

Dan, where are they?
Do you have eyes on them?

DAN (over radio): I see 'em.
Everything's going to plan.

I'll block the road.

They shall not pass!

JODY: I see them.
They're entering Ambush Alley.

DRESSLER:
I can't see shit!

DAN:
McCabe, one!

McCabe, two!

(growls)

McCabe! Now!

I love my job.

RYDER:
Whoa, mama!

Oh, goddamn!

I can't think straight when
you drive like this. -(laughs)

You're supposed to be dead.

You blew up
in-in a thousand pieces.

You went kaboom.

Why would I have blown up,
Tom Ryder?

Why are you saying my name
like that?

COLT: That is your name,
isn't it, Tom Ryder? -Yes, yes.

A blind man could see
that you're

- Tom Ryder.
- You're saying that like...

- (mocking): "Ryder, Tom Ryder."
- Okay. That's me.

You're saying it like
some obsessed fangirl.

That's me, Colt Seavers,
saying that.

Roll the cameras.
We're heading for the jump.

(over radio): Tom Ryder's
doing his own stunts!

Everyone, roll. Arm car?

Check.

- Heli.
- PILOT: Check.

I'm done taking the falls
for you.

You're gonna do your own stunts
from now on.

I don't want to do
my own stunts, Colt! -Relax.

It's just a 250-foot jump
that'll probably kill us.

It's never been done before.
It's for Comic-Con.

- It's Hall H. It's a big deal.
- What are you doing, man?

COLT:
I thought it'd be fitting.

Me and you, Tom Ryder,
one last stunt.

You know,
like Thelma and Louise.

- Thelma and Louise?
- Yeah.

- They die at the end.
- Exactly!

Murder-suicide.

Can you just pull over
and let me out right now?

COLT: You're not getting
out of this car until you,

Tom Ryder, tell me,
Colt Seavers, the truth!

RYDER: All right, all right,
all right, all right!

It was all Gail.

When I killed Henry,
she wanted to cover it up

because, to be honest,

Space Cowboy's one of
my best roles yet, Colt,

and I don't want
this movie to fail.

So you're saying that Gail Meyer

was responsible for framing me
for your murder of Henry?

Yes! Yes!

But what's your real name?

Tom Ryder.

Did you get that, Jody?

We got it! He confessed.

RYDER: You wearing a wire?
Bro, you recording this?

This is entrapment.
You can't do that.

- What are you doing?
- No, it's not entrapment,

because you're wearing
the wire, dipshit!

(engine revving)

(Ryder yells)

JODY:
He's going for it. Go. Go now.

RYDER:
I'm just an actor!

Wait.

He has a mouth guard.

I don't have a mouth guard.

(Ryder screaming)

(screaming continues)

(grunts)

(Colt groans)

- Oh, good.
- JODY (over radio): Colt!

- You're alive.
- Are you okay?

(groans)

Are you okay?

COLT: I told you
I'd make the camera up to you.

Oh, it was fantastic.

GAIL (over radio):
Dressler, come in! -Ah!

Oy, can you hear me?
We've got to get out of here!

RYDER (recorded):
This is all Gail's fault, man.

This is all Gail's idea.

- GAIL: Give me that confession!
- (stammers) No.

Give me all the media!
Are you deaf?!

(over radio): Dressler, bring
the helicopter to the trench.

- What about Ryder?
- Now!

Now, about this date.

GAIL:
Put it in the case, you numpty!

Can we call it a date?

I mean,
that's what it is, right?

Such a moron!

- Hurry up! God! (shouts)
- (barking) -Take it. (gasps)

- Gail, Gail, Gail.
- (sighs)

- Listen...
- Give me the recording, Gail.

Darling, calm down.
Just come with me.

We don't need
all this toxic masculinity,

because we're the same,
you and me.

You know, we're survivors.

No, no, no, no.
I'm nothing like you.

COLT: I don't want to be
presumptuous, I mean,

but let's call a spade a spade.
(chuckles)

GAIL:
That's why I gave you the job.

- Okay.
- Well, that and because

you're so easily moldable,
you know?

- Oh! (mutters)
- Gail, just give me the case!

This is a Gail Meyer production!

Not yours!

Rendezvous with the boss
in the canyon.

Extraction to the spaceship set.

DAN:
Spaceship set?

Oh, no, Big Red.

I don't think
you're gonna make that one.

- Stunts set!
- STUNTPEOPLE: Stunts set!

- Go!
- (clamoring)

♪ ♪

(grunting)

GAIL: Trust me, I will not
be taking the fall for this,

because I deliver hits
for all you little people.

You're welcome.

- Whoa!
- (grunting)

Jody?

Jody? -RYDER: Hey, hey!
That's for me! That's for me!

- (mutters)
- That's my helicopter!

This crazy stuntman's
lost his mind!

(both straining)

(shouts)

MAN:
I'm on vacation!

(grunting)

(engine starts)

- (barking)
- (high-pitched scream)

(Rondell whimpering)

Get this dog off me!
Not again, dog.

- Just stay there!
- (barking)

Night-night, dog! You're dead.

This design is growing on me.

Get in! Let's get out of here!

Yeah, copy that.
Taking off now.

Wait, what-what is this?

It's the evidence!

Why didn't you just
stop talking?!

Jody!

JODY:
Blow the pyros. Blow the pyros!

They're getting away!

- Whoa! Sh-- Whoa!
- Holy shit!

- Lower the arm! I'm gonna jump.
- Okay.

Okay, lower the arm.
Lower the arm.

COLT:
I have a plan!

JODY: What is it?
What's-what's the plan?

Get me to the helicopter.

I'm gonna jump onto the skids,

and then I'm gonna
beat the shit out of him.

No, just-just get the recording.

(fierce grunting)

(yells)

Go!

Ah, shit.

Go!

Whoa! Whoa! Get me down!

Whoa! Get me down!

PILOT:
We're losing hydraulics here.

I can't get it under control.

COLT: Just wondering,
you know, after this movie,

and if I don't go to prison
and, you know, you're not busy,

maybe we could go
to a beach somewhere.

Wear a couple of
swimming costumes.

Just drink a spicy margarita
or something.

Yeah, yeah.
Make some bad decisions. -Yeah.

Okay, sure. Yes.

- Sound like a plan?
- It's a better plan than this.

Okay, please be careful.

Okay, swing him around. Go!

♪ ♪

GAIL:
God, get it under control!

Get us out of here!
What are you doing?!

(Gail shouts)

Ryder, the confession!

No!

- No! No, Gail, no!
- (Gail yells) -No, Gail!

(Ryder groaning)

Whoa! Whoa!

DAN:
Stunts!

Mobilize that airbag now!

No!

(Gail yells)

GAIL:
Get out of the way, Ryder!

STUNTWOMAN:
87North to the rescue!

- Go, go, go, go!
- Go!

Move, move, move!

GAIL:
Get it!

- Just keep it steady!
- (alarm beeping)

(pilot straining)

You moron!

(Gail screams)

GAIL:
Yes! Nice!

DAN:
Go, go, go!

- Yes! (sighs)
- (laughs)

- Oh, God!
- Oh, shit!

(Gail yells)

GAIL:
No!

Grab it!

(groans)

(muffled):
Oh, my God! My nose!

- (Ryder shouts)
- No! Ryder, the gun!

Shoot him!
He's a stupid stuntman!

No one gives a shit!

He's one of the best
stunt doubles I've ever had!

Oh, shut up!
Give me the confession!

Come on, come on, come on!
Quick!

GAIL: Give it back to me
or I will blow your head off!

It's empty, Gail.

(gun clicking empty)

("I Was Made for Lovin' You"
by KISS playing)

♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

♪ Ha ♪

No!

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I wanna see it in your eyes ♪

♪ Feel the magic ♪

♪ There's something
that drives me wild ♪

♪ And tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna make it all
come true ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl,
you were made for me ♪

♪ And, girl,
I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made
for lovin' you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪

♪ And I can't get
enough of you, baby ♪

♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪

- (echoing): ♪ Tonight. ♪
- (song ends)

(dramatic music playing)

NARRATOR: From visionary
director Jody Moreno

and Universal Pictures

comes a cosmic love story...

...of epic proportion.

Starring MTV Best Kiss
award nominee

Jason Momoa.

(Southern accent):
It's high noon

at the edge of the universe.

I know these creatures.

I fought them.

I've loved them.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

We are facing a powerful enemy.

But what our enemy does not know

is that inside
each and every one of you

is a goddamn fire!

- Yeah!
- (cheering)

♪ I was made for
lovin' you, baby ♪

- Hi-yah! Yeah!
- (clamoring)

♪ You were made for
lovin' me... ♪

Yeah! (grunts)

- Bam!
- (screaming)

Oh, shit.

(shouts excitedly)

Justice is on the horizon.

NARRATOR:
Metalstorm.

(cheering)

COLT:
Metalstorm was a huge hit.

Aliena and Space Cowboy
finally got the happy ending.

As for Jody and I,
we got something even better.

We got a new beginning.

Filled with spicy margaritas
and bad decisions.

And look, I don't want
to over-romanticize it

or anything, but I think
what Jody and I got,

it's even better than
what you find in the movies.

♪ I was made for
lovin' you, baby... ♪

- (typewriter keys clacking)
- (song fades)

("Unknown Stuntman"
by Blake Shelton playing)

♪ Well, I'm not the kind
to run and hide ♪

♪ When I come close to danger ♪

- Not again, dog!
- ♪ I ain't never been ♪

- ♪ Afraid to take the fall ♪
- (barks)

♪ Yeah, I'll fall ♪

♪ I'll walk the wire
through rain and fire ♪

♪ Go fast and I'll go slow ♪

♪ Somehow I get stronger
through it all ♪

- (horn blares)
- (grunts)

♪ It's a death-defying life
I lead ♪

- ♪ But I take my chances ♪
- Yeah? -Yep.

♪ I die for a living
in the movies and TV ♪

- Yeah, it looks perfect.
- ♪ But the hardest thing ♪

♪ I'll ever do is
watch my leading ladies ♪

♪ Kiss some other guy ♪

- (yelling)
- ♪ While I'm bandaging my knee ♪

♪ Well, I might fall
from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brand-new car ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm
the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who'd die to have
your heart... ♪ -(barks)

(vehicle sputtering)

MAN:
Logan's good. Logan's good.

That's the fall guy, right?

Metalstorm.

- Storm.
- (chuckles)

♪ I drug my heart through
a burning... ♪

Can you give us a playback?

Action!

♪ Oh, I've been hurt
and I've been broken down ♪

♪ But somehow
I'm still yearning ♪

♪ 'Cause through it all,
she's still on my mind ♪

♪ Well, I might fall
from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brand-new car ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm... ♪

And three, two, one.
Action, action, action!

♪ Who'd die
to have your heart, whoo! ♪

(yells fiercely)

(grunting)

Pulling out in three, two, one.

♪ I might roll a brand-new car ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm
the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who'd die to have your heart ♪

♪ Yeah, I might fall
from a tall building ♪

♪ I might roll a brand-new car ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm
the unknown stuntman ♪

♪ Who'd die
to have your heart. ♪

(song ends)

- Shit! Holy shit!
- Holy shit!

- It's a world record.
- Mike, are you all right?

I'm upside down, but I'm good.

(applause) -("Unsung Heroes"
by Dominic Lewis playing)

♪ I don't know
if you heard, but ♪

♪ My stunt brothers and sisters
don't get no gold ♪

♪ So here's to
the unsung heroes ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

- (yelling)
- (horn blares)

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Oh, I'm diggin' it ♪
- (grunting)

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ It's so crazy, right? ♪
- (yelling)

Let's go big with
our one take, okay?

♪ Not even one nomination ♪

- Toes.
- Just a harness, yeah.

♪ We don't need your ♪

♪ Oscar nom, baby ♪

MAN:
And cut.

♪ We got real scars ♪

♪ From this labor of love ♪

(grunts) Look out!

♪ Somebody had to say it ♪

♪ It's been building up inside ♪

♪ I just couldn't hold it in ♪

♪ I had to let it fly ♪

♪ Action and stunts have been ♪

- ♪ Woven into the DNA of film ♪
- (cheering)

♪ Since the beginning
of cinema, Keaton, Lloyd ♪

- Let's shoot it.
- ♪ Chaplin ♪

♪ Film's first great directors
were all stunt performers ♪

♪ Ben-Hur, Rocky,
Braveheart, Titanic ♪

♪ Some of the biggest winners
in Academy's history ♪

(laughs)

♪ Are completely dependent
on stunts ♪

(laughter, excited chatter)

So it's about love today.

- ♪ Did you know? ♪
- ♪ We don't need your ♪

♪ Did you know? ♪

- ♪ Oscar nom, baby ♪
- ♪ Did you know? ♪

- ♪ We don't need your ♪
- ♪ Did you know? ♪

- ♪ Little statues of love ♪
- ♪ Did you know? ♪

- ♪ We got real scars ♪
- ♪ Did you know? ♪

- ♪ From our labor of love. ♪
- (song ends)

(sirens wailing)

(exclaims)

(Gail grunts)

(grunts)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait a--
Would you just calm down?

(sighs)

You know who I am, right?

I mean, I can make you
a massive star,

you handsome beast!

And you, you have
the right to remain silent.

So shut the hell up.

- Will somebody cuff this bitch?
- Let's go.

These guys are from
the prop department.

These ain't,
these ain't cops, man.

Back up, man!

I'm calling my agent.
I'm getting my agent involved!

- Let-let him go. Let him go.
- GAIL: Tom!

RYDER:
No signal. Got to get... some...

(laughs) Three bars!

Actor.

Get me Jason Momoa's agent
on the phone.

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To lock me up
and throw away the key ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To play the strings
that made our hearts beat one ♪

♪ We can't fall out of time ♪

♪ Try to find an answer ♪

♪ Looking for a sign ♪

♪ There's just no reason ♪

♪ And there's really no rhyme ♪

♪ And we wouldn't be moved ♪

♪ And neither could see ♪

♪ That I needed you ♪

♪ And you needed me ♪

♪ If I could go back ♪

♪ I'd do it differently ♪

♪ Now I'm falling all the time ♪

♪ And I need you in my life ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To catch me again ♪

♪ Waiting for love ♪

♪ To play the strings
that made our hearts beat one ♪

- ♪ We can't fall out of time. ♪
- (song ends)