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1
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882
- Hello, dear.
- Hello, love.
2
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:39,970
- Did you have a nice morning, dear?
- Oh, all right, thanks.
3
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,013
Rather uneventful.
4
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:45,142
My life isn't very fast-moving or dynamic.
5
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,769
Well, you are retired, James.
6
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,445
You do seem a bit down, dear.
7
00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,615
Yes, well, I've been reading the papers
in the public library all the morning.
8
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:05,954
Oh, those things! Full of rubbish.
I never look at them. Except the stars.
9
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:09,708
We must keep abreast
of the international situation, ducksie.
10
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:14,337
Decisions made by the powers that be
will get to us in the end.
11
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,466
Politics and sport,
that's all they're full of.
12
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,970
Could affect us all,
the er... ultimate determent, an' that.
13
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,766
They say there may be
a pre-emptive strike, dear.
14
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,351
Oh, not another strike!
15
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:32,397
It's wicked! I'd have them all locked up.
Blessed communists!
16
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,902
Well, it all looks pretty umpty.
It's not that sort of strike, duck.
17
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:40,781
- Sausages or beef burgers, dear?
- Sausages, thanks.
18
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:46,161
It looks as if the balloon
could go up at any moment.
19
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,330
What balloon?
20
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,041
- Mashed or chips?
- Chips, thanks.
21
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,169
Oh, I don't know.
The balloon. Er...
22
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,798
Or is it a maroon? I can't remember.
23
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,384
What are you talking about, James?
24
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:06,223
It looks as if there's going
to be a war, dear.
25
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,602
Yes, they say it might break out
at any time now.
26
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:15,315
Well, at least you won't be called up,
James. You're far too old.
27
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,110
Well, thank you, my beloved.
I'm still two years younger than you.
28
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,321
Well, if the worst comes to the worst...
29
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,783
... we'll just have to roll up our sleeves,
tighten our belts...
30
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,786
... and put on our tin hats
till it's V-E Day again.
31
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,455
It won't be like that this time, love.
32
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,708
I think this one is called
the ,,Big Bang Theory”.
33
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,002
It's all worked out by
brilliant scientists.
34
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:39,172
Well, we survived the last one,
we can do it again.
35
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,550
It'll take more than a few bombs
to get me down.
36
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,844
Yes, yes, we um...
37
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,888
We must... must look
on the bright side, ducks.
38
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,810
- Better go over to Radio 4.
- I like Radio 2.
39
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,647
Radio 4 is better
for the international situation.
40
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,191
Good evening, this is Radio 4...
41
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,403
... With the news at six o'clock
this Thursday evening.
42
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:05,407
The Prime Minister, speaking a few
minutes ago in the House of Commons...
43
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:09,286
... has warned that the international
Situation is deteriorating rapidly...
44
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:13,373
... and that war could break out at
any time in the next two or three days.
45
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,208
Crumbs!
46
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,794
What's the matter, dear?
Have you burned yourself?
47
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:23,133
- This is it, ducks! This is really it!
- Another sausage, dear?
48
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,887
I shouldn't worry too much.
It'll probably all blow over.
49
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:32,225
- Three days! Blimey! Three days!
- Language, James! Language!
50
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:37,814
Crumbs! It's lucky I got more leaflets
from the public library only this morning.
51
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,774
Here we are, see? Er...
52
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,904
Protect And Survive” and er...
, The Householder's Guide To Survival.”
53
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,448
Now, this one should be
really authoritative.
54
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,909
It's printed by the County Council.
55
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:52,120
We'd better commence the construction
of a fallout shelter immediately.
56
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,205
We must do the correct thing.
57
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,417
There's treacle tart and custard
or cold bread and butter pudding.
58
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,462
- Er... Treacle tart, please.
- Fallout?
59
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,505
I thought they did that in the army.
60
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,467
No, dear, it's fall in” in the army.
JFall in.”
61
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,887
Thank goodness I got
all those official leaflets today.
62
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,473
I gave the others to our Ron.
63
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,767
Suppose I hadn't?
64
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,770
We'd have been totally non-prepared.
I mean, just think!
65
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:21,274
Will you have to dig a hole like
the old Anderson shelters in the war?
66
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,318
No, dear, that's all old-fashioned.
67
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:28,114
With modern scientific methods, you just
use doors with cushions and books on top.
68
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,076
Where on earth are we going
to get doors from, James?
69
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,954
Well er... you just unscrew them, dear.
70
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,290
You don't mean off our own house!
71
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:40,335
Well er... yes er... dear.
72
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,671
You're not going
to ruin the paintwork, James!
73
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,675
Oh, don't worry. I can soon touch it up
after the bomb's gone off.
74
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,802
Well, mind you do.
75
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,399
Just you be careful, James!
76
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,707
Mind that paint, James!
77
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,093
I hope you know what you're doing.
78
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:35,056
I'll put the screws in a plastic bag.
You'll only go and lose them.
79
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,019
Remember, they're in the right-hand jug
on the dresser.
80
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,347
It's going to be very draughty
with no doors on.
81
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:01,101
I expect it's a safety precaution.
82
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,437
It'll let the, er... blast
go straight through.
83
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,357
It says here...
84
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,527
~The inner core or refuge
should be placed...
85
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,656
... at an angle of 60 degrees
for maximum strength.”
86
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,784
I should place it up against the wall,
if I were you, dear.
87
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:21,246
Yes, but which are the degrees?
We haven't got any angles.
88
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:25,667
I think we did it at school.
You... You had angles with degrees in.
89
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:30,463
Only I can't remember.
I think I'll ring our Ron. He'll know.
90
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,229
Hello, son. All right?
Beryl and the baby?
91
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:51,317
Good. Er... Look, I'm building
this governmental inner core or refuge...
92
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,116
Well, what's that mean, exactly?
93
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:03,746
It's not cobblers, son.
It's in the governmental directive.
94
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,584
You mean you're not constructing
an inner core or refuge?
95
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,502
I gave you the leaflets especially!
96
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,213
But what about baby Jim?
97
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,675
Don't start singing!
98
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,429
What do you mean, ,We'll all go
together when we go”? It's not funny.
99
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:25,727
No, but it's our duty to carry out
governmental instructions in time of war.
100
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,064
Stop laughing, will you?
I'm surprised at you.
101
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,817
You're supposed to be
a responsible father now.
102
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,572
A protractor?
The angle at the bottom?
103
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,783
Er... yes, yes, I see.
104
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,995
OK, son. Thanks.
Now, listen.
105
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,875
Just you start that inner core or refuge.
It's your bounden duty, son.
106
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,754
Cheerio, son.
Now, remember what I said.
107
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,673
I am your father.
I do know a bit about war.
108
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,511
Love to Beryl and baby Jim.
Ta-ta.
109
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:06,726
Yes, er... Ron says I need a protractor.
He says I can get one at Willis's.
110
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:10,313
He was killing himself laughing,
and he was singing songs!
111
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:14,734
I can't understand it. I think it's nerves.
He's gone a bit hysterical.
112
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:18,655
- He can't be drunk at this time of day.
- Our Ron doesn't drink.
113
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:22,033
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, of course not, dear.
114
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,621
Ron is not going to make
an inner core or refuge.
115
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,998
I remonstrated with him,
but he was adamant.
116
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,377
He says if London cops it, he'll cop it.
And not to worry, Dad.
117
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,088
It's an irresponsible attitude.
118
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:38,049
I'm a bit disappointed in him,
adopting that attitude.
119
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:42,679
He was always a very responsible boy
when he was in the Cubs.
120
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,557
It was going to that art college
that spoiled him.
121
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,435
He met some dreadful people there.
122
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,146
Huh! Blessed beatniks!
123
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:59,153
I don't suppose it'll make a terrific
amount of difference, the exact angle.
124
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,366
It'll probably all fall down anyway,
what with the bomb, an' that.
125
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,703
If a job's worth doing,
it's worth doing well, James.
126
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:10,039
Yes, dear. But it is only temporary.
127
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,750
After all, it'll all be over in a flash.
128
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,721
Funny to think they were
on our side in the war.
129
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,390
- Who, dear?
- The Russkies.
130
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,227
- With old Joe Stalin.
- Yes, he was a nice chap.
131
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,271
I liked him.
132
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,440
Like an uncle, he was.
133
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,067
I liked his moustache and his pipe.
134
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:42,030
Yeah. Roosevelt was nice, too.
135
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:47,660
There was three of them.
Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.
136
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,704
All good blokes.
137
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:56,252
With old Hitler, Goring and Musso,
and all that lot, on the other side.
138
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,051
You somehow knew
where you were then.
139
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,386
I don't even know
who the people are these days.
140
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,348
I expect it's all done
by committees, dear.
141
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:13,019
Yes, and meetings. I expect they have
loads and loads of meetings...
142
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,271
... and thus arrive at decisions.
143
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,983
Commuters, too.
They all use commuters these days.
144
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,362
It's got very impersonal.
145
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,573
Churchill with his cigar,
old Stalin with his moustache...
146
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,950
... You knew where you stood.
147
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:32,997
- Do you think they'll invade?
- Oh, no, no. Won't need to.
148
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,957
It'll all be done by missiles.
149
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,959
Long er... range.
150
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,380
Then they'll instil commuters
to take charge of us.
151
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:44,884
It's funny to think
there's no shelters this time.
152
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,928
We had an old Anderson
in the garden.
153
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,805
I can see it now.
154
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:52,016
We had nasturtiums
growing all over it.
155
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,019
And we painted the front green.
156
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,605
Painted, it looked quite pretty.
157
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,358
Next-door grew cabbages on theirs.
158
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,860
Yes. We had a Morrison.
159
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,113
Hmm, I used to sleep in it.
160
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,990
I stuck pin-up girls all over the inside.
161
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,160
Betty Grable, Anne Shelton,
Patricia Roc.
162
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:15,206
The roof got all smoky,
cos I used to read in bed with a candle.
163
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,252
Yes, it was nice in the war, really.
164
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:23,840
The shelters, the blackout,
cups of tea...
165
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:27,051
The ARP, the evacuees.
166
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,054
London kids seeing cows
for the first time.
167
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,723
Old Churchill on the wireless.
168
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:37,019
The nine o'clock news.
Vera Lynn singing away.
169
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,355
Worker's Playtime.
170
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:44,277
Spitfires and Hurricanes
in the blue sky over the cornfields.
171
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,029
The White Cliffs of Dover.
172
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,324
Old Jerry coming over every night.
173
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,077
Those were the days.
174
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:02,712
Don't you dare use
my best cushions from the front room!
175
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,673
I'll get some old ones from upstairs.
176
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,259
I'll put them in plastic bags.
177
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:12,430
I don't want finger marks
getting all over them.
178
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,432
I shouldn't worry too much, love.
179
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:17,560
They're bound to get dusty
with all the fallout coming down.
180
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:23,107
It says here we've got to lay in
food supplies for 14 days.
181
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,486
I'd better put a note out
for 28 pints of milk, then.
182
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,740
I'll just pop out and get 14 loaves, dear!
And a protractor.
183
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,785
Anything else you want?
184
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,623
I'll need more plastic bags, dear!
185
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,305
There's no bread, ducks! Sold out.
186
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,016
There seems to be some sort
of panic purchasing.
187
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,101
It can't be helped, dear.
188
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,521
After all, there's a war on.
189
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,606
Or nearly, anyway.
190
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,735
I hope you haven't left that cape
dripping in the hall, James!
191
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,445
Oh, no, dear.
192
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:14,825
Mr Willis has sold out of protractors.
I expect everyone wants 60 degrees.
193
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,619
He was terrifically kind, Mr Willis.
194
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:20,623
He cut me out a bit of card
with 60 degrees on it. Look.
195
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,291
Oh! Nice, dear.
196
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,752
Here's the emergency supplies, ducks.
197
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:28,339
Two packets of ginger creams,
half a jam sponge...
198
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,509
... a tin of pineapple chunks
and a tin of Christmas pud.
199
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,928
It'll all be over by Christmas.
200
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,933
You're not decorating now, James!
201
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,519
We've got to paint
the windows white, dear.
202
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:45,064
- Whatever for?
- It's for the radiation, I think.
203
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:49,610
Like they do in greenhouses, to keep
out the sun. It's the correct thing.
204
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:53,823
- It won't be that hot, surely!
- Well, I don't know.
205
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:58,578
They say the one at Hiroshima
was equal to one thousand suns.
206
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,496
So it is quite hot.
207
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:05,209
And besides, the powers that be
are making much better ones now.
208
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:08,796
Science has leaped forward
with giant strides. Oops!
209
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,174
Mind you don't get paint
on those curtains, James.
210
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:15,595
You should've taken them down first.
You never think.
211
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,889
I know that smile of yours, James.
212
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:28,065
~Keep doors closed to prevent
the spread of fire,” it says.
213
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,068
But you've taken off
half the doors, James.
214
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,071
- Yes, dear.
- Won't that make the fire worse, then?
215
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,616
Well, T er...
216
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,910
Perhaps the blast will blow the fire out.
217
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,539
Well... Hmm!
218
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:47,376
Inner core or refuge
looks quite cosy, doesn't it, dear?
219
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,380
I hope those doors aren't marking
the wallpaper, James.
220
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,050
Come in and try it out, dear.
Please.
221
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,851
Whoa! Careful! Careful!
You'll have it over!
222
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,978
Budge up, can't you, James?
223
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,024
Couldn't you have made it a bit... wider?
224
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,944
It's er...
It's constructed in compliance...
225
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,322
... with the governmental
specifications, dear.
226
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,408
Well, they might've made it
wide enough for two people.
227
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,745
- Suppose you were married?
- We are married, dear.
228
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,164
Yes, well, there you are, then.
229
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,917
Oh!
230
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:32,004
What about if you had children?
Where would they go?
231
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:36,467
Oh, well, you'd just hold them
in your arms. They'd soon fall asleep.
232
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,719
Suppose they were 17 or 18?
233
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:43,307
Big boys with bristly chins
and big boots on. Skinheads.
234
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:46,310
Well, in that case, you'd, er...
235
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,521
... just add a few more doors.
236
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,608
There's... no wall space
for more doors.
237
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,860
Oh... no.
238
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,364
Well, our Ron was never
a skinhead, anyway.
239
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,536
What on earth are you putting
the food in there for?
240
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,288
Well, that's where it's got to be.
241
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,791
But why can't it stay
in the larder and fridge?
242
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:13,212
Because we must not emerge for
the 14 days of the national emergency.
243
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,841
You're not saying we've got to stay
in that thing for two weeks?
244
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,885
Well, yes, dear.
Ours not to reason why.
245
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,346
Now we must do the correct thing.
246
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,850
Well, what about the cooking, then?
How do I get to the cooker?
247
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,270
We'll just have to use
the little picnic stove, dear.
248
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,731
- What about the toilet?
- Well, er...
249
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,859
Well, we'll have to have a potty
or something.
250
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,528
I can tell you now, James Bloggs...
251
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,865
... that I am going to go upstairs
in the proper manner.
252
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:45,786
But you mustn't emerge, dear. Not for
the 14 days of the national emergency.
253
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,539
All right, then, how are you going
to empty the chamber pot?
254
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,209
Well, we just have to empty it
down the toilet, I suppose.
255
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,462
You just said
we couldn't go to the toilet.
256
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,882
Oh, yes.
Er... Well er... Yeah, well...
257
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,634
We'd better not cross our bridges
till we come to them, eh?
258
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,887
Look on the bright side, eh, ducks?
259
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:08,726
Six, five,
Zero, zero, Six...
260
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:16,692
It says here, ,, Two pints
of water per person per day.”
261
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:21,322
- I wonder if we've got enough bottles.
- I'll have a look under the stairs, dear.
262
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:34,460
I've measured the water
into the bottles, James.
263
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,879
I've labelled them
so we don't get in a muddle.
264
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,298
Oh, good. That's nice, dear.
265
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:42,885
You're very efficient
in a national emergency, dearest.
266
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,095
Get on with you!
267
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,475
It says here, ,,D: Miscellaneous:
268
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:58,234
... pepper, matches, toilet paper,
disinfectant, vitamin tablets...
269
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,946
... tin opener, knives, forks, spoons.”
270
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:04,365
Funny. No plates.
271
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:11,205
- What's all that, dear?
- I don't know.
272
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,708
It's called ,, miscellaneous”.
Pass it in, please.
273
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:18,295
- Funny.
- What, dear?
274
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:23,926
In the governmental leaflet, it says,
~Remove thin materials from windows.”
275
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,470
And in the County Council leaflet,
it says...
276
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,682
~Hang white sheets in the windows.”
I wonder which is correct.
277
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:36,272
Oh! It says peanut butter.
We haven't got any. Oh, dear.
278
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:38,983
Never mind, ducks.
I don't like it, nor do you.
279
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:42,778
No, but it's on the official list.
Oh, dear.
280
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:46,615
Now, don't worry, love.
I expect we'll survive without it.
281
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:50,035
It'll probably go runny
in the heat, anyway.
282
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:53,414
You get terrific heat with these bombs,
you know.
283
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:57,835
Mind you, diet is very important.
284
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,880
You are what you... eat.
285
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:05,301
And the survival of the fittest,
an' that. Whoa!
286
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:10,681
That's why so many people are jogging
and eating lots of All-Bran, I expect.
287
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:16,061
Only the fittest will survive
the outcome of the nuclear holocaust.
288
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:20,566
- They eat lots of beans, too.
- They give you wind, beans do.
289
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,402
You certainly shouldn't eat beans, James.
290
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,696
Let's not get personal, ducks.
291
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:28,449
I'm trying to have
a scientific discussion.
292
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:37,082
If there really is going to be
a war, who do you think will win?
293
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:41,837
Well, the Americans have
tactile nuclear superiority...
294
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:45,424
... due to their IBMs
and their polar submarines.
295
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:48,385
But in the event
of a pre-emptive strike...
296
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:53,432
... innumerate Russian hordes will sweep
across the plains of Central Europe.
297
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,310
Then the US Tactical Air Force
will come roaring in...
298
00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:02,149
... With their Superhawks, B-17s and B-19s,
bristling with guns! Terrifically armed!
299
00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:07,821
They'd razor the Russkie defences
to the ground.
300
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:11,075
Then the Marines would parachute in
and round up the population.
301
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,204
After that, the big generals would
go over, like er... Ike and Monty.
302
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,247
Then the Russians would capitalate...
303
00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,875
... and there would be
a condition of surrender.
304
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,128
Then they'd instil
free and fair election.
305
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:27,132
One man, one vote.
And women too, nowadays, of course.
306
00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:31,136
And thus, the Communist threat
to the Free World would be neutrified...
307
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:34,431
... and democratic principles
would be instilled throughout Russia...
308
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,308
... Whether they liked it or not.
309
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:40,437
That's the world scenario as I see it,
at this moment in time.
310
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:45,651
- Monty? Wasn't he in the war?
- Well, of course he was.
311
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:49,029
He practically won it.
You remember, dear.
312
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:53,993
Big beret with badges on it.
Tanks. The Desert Rats. El Alamo.
313
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,790
But that was ages ago, dear.
314
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:03,127
Yes, well, I expect
he's getting on a bit.
315
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,295
Probably been promoted.
316
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:09,633
- More likely dead.
- Monty dead? Never!
317
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:13,846
I'll bet he is.
It's about 40 years since the war.
318
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:16,473
And he had a moustache then!
319
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:19,435
Who's in charge now, then?
320
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,104
Oh, one of those commuters,
I expect.
321
00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:26,608
It says here, , Place your
National Savings Certificates...
322
00:25:26,734 --> 00:25:30,195
... medical cards and
birth certificates in a box.”
323
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,116
Here's a nice box, dear.
I'll give it a good clean-out.
324
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:38,829
Oh, thanks. We'd, er...
better keep it in a safe place.
325
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:42,416
I wonder what would be a safe place.
326
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,389
Who's in charge of the Russians, dear?
327
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,391
Oh er... it's er...
328
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,393
Shavinsky, isn't it?
329
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,729
Or... Molotov.
330
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:08,275
No. Molotov's just a cocktail,
I think.
331
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:13,280
Krushef. Yes, that's right.
B and K.
332
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:16,158
Bulgania and Krushef,
that's them.
333
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:19,036
And that bloke Marx has got
something to do with it.
334
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,748
What are you doing, dear?
335
00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:27,920
Blocking out the windows, in compliance
with the governmental directive.
336
00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:30,380
It's the correct thing.
337
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:34,968
Er... yes. Then there's the er...
usual committee, of course...
338
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:38,806
... the Common Term, they call it,
the Soviet Supreme.
339
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:42,101
They're in charge of the BJ Kee.
340
00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:45,270
That's the Secret Service.
SS for short.
341
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:50,818
Our lot is called EMI-5.
Oh, it's all very complicated, ducks.
342
00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:54,613
Well, mind you
don't scratch the polish!
343
00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:59,034
Is it any good writing him a letter,
do you think?
344
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:04,832
- Who, dear?
- This leader. BJ Whatshisname.
345
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:08,085
- What are you going to say, dear?
- Oh, I don't know.
346
00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:11,004
Um... ,Dear Sir...
347
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:14,383
... Mr B J-thing, er...
348
00:27:14,508 --> 00:27:18,428
We, the people of Britain,
are fed up with being bombed.
349
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:22,057
We had enough of it last time,
with old Hitler...
350
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,977
... 50 will you just leave us in peace?
351
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,855
You live your life
and we'll live ours.
352
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,773
Hope you are well.
353
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:34,987
Please don't drop any bombs.
Yours sincerely, Mr and Mrs J Bloggs.”
354
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:38,615
Very good, dear. Very nice. Yes.
355
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,993
You might be a bit late for the post.
356
00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:43,412
You know what the post
is like these days.
357
00:27:43,537 --> 00:27:45,581
First class might just get there.
358
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:48,292
But I must do this list.
359
00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:55,340
...paper, pencils, shovel, spade,
crowbar, axe, hatchet...
360
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:58,552
... Saw, whistle
and/or gong for alarms...
361
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,346
... Suitcases for furniture or evacuation...
362
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,348
... string, pliers...
363
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:10,022
... first-aid kits, safety pins, scissors,
flints, aspirins, diarrhoea remedy...
364
00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:14,943
... tweezers, calamine lotion,
war crisis editions, lice-flea powder...
365
00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:18,197
... rodent poison, insulin,
blood-pressure tablets...
366
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:22,242
... rubber gloves, sanitary towels,
mirror, toilet paper, eyewash.”
367
00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,830
I wonder if it's true
about the paper bags.
368
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:30,959
Or is it a joke?
I never know if it's just a joke or not.
369
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,421
What's that, dear?
370
00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:37,841
Well, they say you should get
into a paper bag...
371
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:40,135
... just before the bomb goes off.
372
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:42,095
Whatever for?
373
00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:48,393
I suppose it's like the white paint.
It, er... deflects the heat a bit.
374
00:28:48,602 --> 00:28:51,730
- Sounds silly to me.
- There are some paper bags.
375
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:56,109
We had spuds from the farm in them.
There should be four.
376
00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:59,571
They'll be filthy, James!
377
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:03,158
Are you sure your bag is clean, James?
378
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:06,745
Yes, dear, I... cleaned it thoroughly.
379
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:14,461
Oh! You do look silly!
380
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,924
I wonder if it's all right
to have eyeholes.
381
00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:21,802
They say it's the correct thing
to wear white.
382
00:29:22,386 --> 00:29:26,556
People in Hiroshima with patterned clothes
got burned where the pattern was...
383
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,892
... and not so much on the white bits.
384
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:32,688
- Even the buttons showed up.
- Yes, but they were Japanese.
385
00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:36,775
Is there a clean white shirt, dear,
ready for the bomb?
386
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:40,612
You're not going to wear that nice
new one I gave you for Christmas!
387
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:42,489
I don't want that spoiled.
388
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:46,618
You can wear your old clothes for
the bomb and save the best for afterwards.
389
00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:50,872
All right, dear. Well, is there
an old white one, without stripes?
390
00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:52,874
I don't want stripes all over me.
391
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,918
I've never heard such nonsense.
392
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:58,046
We didn't think what colour clothes
we had on in the war.
393
00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:01,508
Lucky to have any clothes at all,
with everything on coupons...
394
00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:05,429
We interrupt this programme for
an official government announcement,
395
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:09,725
An enemy missile attack has been
launched against this country.
396
00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:12,144
It /s estimated that
the missiles will arrive...
397
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,855
... In approximately three minutes.
Three minutes...
398
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:17,524
God almighty, ducks!
There's only three minutes to go!
399
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,776
Oh, dear. I'll just put the washing in.
400
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:22,487
Come back, you stupid bitch,
and get in the shelter!
401
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,907
- How dare you talk to me like that, James!
- Shut up and get in!
402
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:29,161
There's no need to forget our manners
just because there's a war on.
403
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:32,748
- Shut up! I'm trying to listen!
- Take shelter immediately...
404
00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:35,334
I've never heard such language
in all my life.
405
00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:39,004
- For God's sake, shut up!
- Oh, dear! I've left the oven on!
406
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:42,841
- Get in! Get in! Get in!
- The cake will be burned!
407
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:46,303
Lie down.
Keep away from windows.
408
00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:49,056
Cover your head and eyes.
409
00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:51,725
Do not look at the sky
or through windows.
410
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,685
Take shelter immediately.
411
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:56,396
Repeat. Stay indoors.
412
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:58,607
Do not leave your home.
413
00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:26,176
The cake will be burned!
414
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,581
The cake will be burned!
415
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,064
Blimey!
416
00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:50,695
- Blimey!
- Well, I never...
417
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:55,700
I... I suppose... that was it.
418
00:33:55,825 --> 00:33:58,411
I should think so.
419
00:33:58,537 --> 00:33:59,996
Blimey!
420
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:04,084
You all right, dear?
421
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:06,253
Yes, thanks, love.
422
00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:08,880
Oh, dear.
423
00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:12,592
I do feel all shaky.
424
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:17,889
Never mind, ducks.
We're... We're still in one piece, eh?
425
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,517
Yes, I think so.
426
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:24,396
- Wasn't it light?
- Yes.
427
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,273
Terrific.
428
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:30,777
You get terrific light
with these bombs.
429
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:33,947
- The heat!
- I know.
430
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:35,657
Phew!
431
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:38,868
It's still hot now.
432
00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:43,206
I wonder how far we are
away from the epicentre.
433
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:48,295
Or was it the hypocentre?
I can't remember.
434
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,130
What's that, dear?
435
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:56,136
Well, it's the centre of it all.
You know, the bull's-eye, sort of.
436
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:59,973
Bang in the middle.
Or... Or middle of the bang, rather.
437
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:03,268
I should think we were bang
in the middle, dear.
438
00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:05,604
A direct hit.
439
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:08,523
Oh, just look at all that glass.
440
00:35:08,648 --> 00:35:11,610
No, no, it couldn't have been
a direct hit, dear.
441
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:16,948
We would have sustained greater damage
and suffered greater casualties.
442
00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:21,661
Don't talk to me about damage.
Just look at those curtains!
443
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:25,332
Yes, but it would've been much worse
at the epi-hypo thing, dear.
444
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:28,043
I don't see how it could've
been much worse.
445
00:35:28,084 --> 00:35:31,046
I'll never get them clean.
446
00:35:31,504 --> 00:35:36,509
I'll give them a good soak tonight.
Blessed Germans!
447
00:35:36,718 --> 00:35:38,553
Russkies, dear.
448
00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:42,932
Mm! The shelter stood up well,
didn't it?
449
00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:47,312
I constructed it in compliance
with governmental specifications.
450
00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:50,065
I hope the cushions aren't spoiled.
451
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:52,567
I think some of them
blew off in the blast.
452
00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:54,736
I do like nice cushions.
453
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:57,238
Yes, but there's more important things
at the moment, ducks.
454
00:35:57,364 --> 00:36:01,159
And curtains.
Cushions and curtains.
455
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:04,829
I'd better get out
and put them in soak now.
456
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:08,583
- Stay in! Er... dear.
- Don't you shout at me, James.
457
00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:11,920
But it's the whole point, dearest.
458
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,797
This is what the shelter's for.
459
00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:16,633
But the blessed bomb
has gone off already.
460
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:20,553
Yes, but the fallout
is falling out now. See?
461
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,347
No, I don't see.
462
00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:27,477
I can't see any soppy fallout.
I'm getting out!
463
00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:30,897
- Just look at all that mess!
- No. No!
464
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:35,068
We must stay in.
We must do the correct thing.
465
00:36:35,819 --> 00:36:40,365
Come on, now.
It's late. Let's get to bed.
466
00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:50,583
Whatever is this box of sand for,
James?
467
00:36:51,459 --> 00:36:54,003
It had better not be
for what I think it's for.
468
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:58,007
I've told you what I think
about that subject already.
469
00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:01,720
Bomb or no bomb,
Hitler or no Hitler...
470
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:04,639
... I'm going to go to the toilet
in the proper manner!
471
00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:07,350
No, dear, it's not an earth tray.
472
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:10,645
The governmental directive says
it's for cleaning plates, an' that.
473
00:37:10,770 --> 00:37:12,647
Cleaning plates?
474
00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:17,902
Why shouldn't we wash them properly
and dry them on a nice clean tea towel?
475
00:37:18,027 --> 00:37:21,406
We washed up properly
all through the war.
476
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:25,660
Well, it's to conserve
emergency water supplies, dear.
477
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,204
What is the world coming to?
478
00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:33,460
- You see, dear...
- Oh, tuck my feet in.
479
00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:36,004
My old mother would have a fit
if she knew.
480
00:37:36,129 --> 00:37:39,299
- Yes, but...
- Drying plates in an earth tray!
481
00:37:39,466 --> 00:37:42,719
Catch me eating off a plate
covered in sand!
482
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:46,723
- You'd be the first to complain.
- Er... dear, um...
483
00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,892
A bit of grit in your winkles...
484
00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:52,645
... and you're spitting and splattering
all over the place.
485
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:58,109
Tomorrow, you can put that thing outside
for someone's cat, where it belongs.
486
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,324
Ooh-er!
487
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:10,747
I'm getting fed up stuck in this thing!
I want to get out and tidy up!
488
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:15,919
Oh! Just look at all that mess
out there!
489
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:18,838
We must do
the correct thing, dear.
490
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:22,592
We must remain
in the inner core or refuge.
491
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,386
Ours not to reason why.
492
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:29,224
Ours but to, erm...
something or other.
493
00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:32,811
It tells you about this problem
in the County Council directive.
494
00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:36,105
I'll show you.
Let's see. Um... Where is it?
495
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,983
Ah, yes. Here we are:
,During this period...
496
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:44,656
...reduced external stimuli may produce
problems of group behaviour.”
497
00:38:44,781 --> 00:38:46,658
Oh, yes, I see, dear.
498
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:54,082
... at intervals,
stimulate group activities.”
499
00:38:54,207 --> 00:38:57,961
Don't you dare start stimulating, James!
I'm not in the mood.
500
00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:01,798
No, dear!
It means discussions, an' that.
501
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:06,261
It says, , Discussions, card games,
story-telling, quizzes, etc.”
502
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:12,100
Perhaps we'd better try story-telling.
You tell me one.
503
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:17,313
No, I can't. I'd feel funny.
You're not a baby.
504
00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:21,442
- Well, pretend I am.
- Don't be silly.
505
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,112
- Go on.
- No.
506
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:26,489
You tell me one.
507
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:29,284
- I don't know any.
- There you are, then.
508
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,704
What about a quiz?
509
00:39:32,829 --> 00:39:38,167
- I spy with my little eye...
- Oh, not that. it's childish, James.
510
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:43,756
Or it says here, , Discuss the changed
conditions after an attack...
511
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,927
... and consider how to overcome
or adapt to them.”
512
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,598
Well, um... um...
let's start on that one, dear.
513
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:55,768
Who's going to start the ball rolling, eh?
Shall I kick off, eh? Eh?
514
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:58,605
Right. Here goes. Um...
515
00:39:59,439 --> 00:40:04,360
I think er... we could overcome
the changed conditions after an attack...
516
00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:09,115
... by er... all pulling our weight,
putting our shoulders to the wheel...
517
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:13,995
... 50 that we all pull together
now that our backs are against the wall.
518
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,331
And we can show these Jerries...
519
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:19,500
I mean Russkies,
just what we think of them.
520
00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:23,463
And um... Well, that's all, I think.
521
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:27,675
Oh! Hooray, James!
You ought to be a politician.
522
00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:35,350
It says, ,Reading aloud
to pass the time is a good idea.”
523
00:40:37,518 --> 00:40:40,355
It's a good job I got this book
from the public library.
524
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,066
It's called ,,Armageddon And You”.
525
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:46,736
There's a terrific bit in it
about Western defences.
526
00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:48,905
Now, just listen to this.
527
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:52,450
,There are three B.M.E.W.s:
528
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:55,453
Ballistic Missile Early Warning systems.
529
00:40:55,578 --> 00:41:02,669
... One P.R.C.S., Perimeter Acquisition
Radar Attack Characterisation System.
530
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:07,423
Then there's N.O.R.A.D.,
North American Air Defence.
531
00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:10,843
And J.S.S.,
Joint Surveillance System.
532
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:16,182
And then seven R.0.C.C.s,
Regional Operation Control Centres.
533
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:21,562
Then there's N.A.D.G.E.,
Nato Air Defence Ground Environment...
534
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:27,610
... and several A.W.C.S,,
Airborne Warning and Control Systems.
535
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:33,116
All this is controlled by the N.C.A.,
National Command Authority...
536
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:38,496
... by means of the N.M.C.S.,
National Military Command System...
537
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:43,209
... and AM.C.C,,
Alternative Military Command Centre...
538
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:48,172
... and N.E.A.C.C., National Emergency
Airborne Command Centre.
539
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:52,468
And it all comes under W.W.M.C.C.S...
540
00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:56,514
... Worldwide Military
Command & Control System.”
541
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:04,439
We should be all right with that lot
looking after us, eh, ducks?
542
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:07,066
Well, it didn't stop them
from bombing us, did it?
543
00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:11,195
Oh er... well, no, er...
I suppose not, really.
544
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,365
Still, just think,
it might've been worse.
545
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:17,452
Got to look on the bright side, ducks.
546
00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:22,415
Besides, another thing the powers
that be have created is called M.A.D.
547
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,876
- Mad?
- Yes, M.A.D.
548
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:28,087
M.A.D.
Mutual Assured Destruction.
549
00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:30,381
I read about it in the public library.
550
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:33,760
I think my old dad was
in the Mutual Assured Insurance.
551
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:37,930
- A penny a week it was, in those days.
- This isn't insurance, ducks.
552
00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:40,767
I think it covered the cost of the funeral.
553
00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:43,144
Yes, well, I suppose this is similar.
554
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:45,396
It all comes out of our taxes.
555
00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:48,274
He had a lovely funeral, our dad.
556
00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:52,820
You don't pay any taxes now.
You're retired, James.
557
00:42:52,945 --> 00:42:56,949
No, I'm fully paid up.
My funeral is fully assured.
558
00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:02,497
Time we went to bed.
It's getting dark.
559
00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:06,709
I'll sleep in my clothes.
It's an all-out war situation.
560
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:09,837
I might be called out in the night
for an emergency.
561
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:12,715
They may need all able-bodied men
at short notice.
562
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:17,011
They'll soon change their minds
when they see your pot-bellied little body.
563
00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,602
Morning, dear.
564
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:29,524
- How do you feel?
- Oh, dear.
565
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:33,694
- I ache all over.
-So do IL.
566
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:36,531
I've got a terrific headache.
567
00:43:36,656 --> 00:43:40,368
Oh... I still feel so tired.
568
00:43:40,493 --> 00:43:44,288
Never mind, ducks. It's probably shock.
The bomb, an' that.
569
00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:46,249
Oh, it's bound to upset us a bit.
570
00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:50,002
After all, you don't get a nuclear bomb
every day of the week, do you?
571
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:53,548
Just as well. Never knew a bomb
could give you headaches.
572
00:43:53,714 --> 00:43:55,174
Oh, yes, ducks.
573
00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:59,720
I told you these bombs have
a terrific effect on all sorts of things.
574
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:02,390
Right.
A nice cup of tea will perk you up.
575
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:21,492
Funny. They've cut the water off.
576
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:24,537
Still, that's logical.
It might be contaminated.
577
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:27,498
It's a wise precaution
for the protection of the population.
578
00:44:27,582 --> 00:44:30,293
Use the bottles, dear.
579
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:33,838
Oh, yes, of course.
The emergency reserve supplies.
580
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,511
Most of them seem to have been
broken in the blast, dear.
581
00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:43,264
The contents have been dissipated.
582
00:44:46,225 --> 00:44:48,895
Funny. The electric's off, too.
583
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:52,732
Still, bound to be.
Conservation of energy resources.
584
00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:57,361
A wise governmental precaution
during the period of national emergency.
585
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:59,780
Good job we've got
that little picnic stove, eh, dear?
586
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,657
Are there any aspirins?
587
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:04,452
Mind it doesn't pop, James.
I can't...
588
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,622
... bear it when it pops.
589
00:45:09,123 --> 00:45:10,625
Mm!
590
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:14,795
Nothing like a cup of tea, hmm?
591
00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:19,759
Crumbs! IT must be dreaming.
The news! We're just in time.
592
00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:24,889
No. Nothing. There's nothing.
593
00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:26,557
All dead.
594
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:29,602
- What about the telly?
- Yes, of course.
595
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,520
They may have filmed it all.
596
00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:40,696
We may see our bomb on the news.
597
00:45:43,616 --> 00:45:45,993
Oh? All dead.
598
00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:47,828
- No picture?
- No.
599
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,831
- Not even just the voices?
- No, nothing.
600
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:54,043
- All dead.
- All dead?
601
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,965
- We'll have to wait for the papers.
- There should be some good pictures.
602
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:01,425
These bombs are quite spectacular.
603
00:46:01,550 --> 00:46:04,345
- He's late already.
- Yes, well, that's logical.
604
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:08,849
There's bound to be delays and shortages
during the period of national emergency.
605
00:46:10,351 --> 00:46:15,231
I'll miss the serial on Woman's Hour.
It was just getting interesting.
606
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:21,195
Crumbs! I haven't tried the transistor.
607
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,409
No. Seems to have packed up.
608
00:46:26,575 --> 00:46:30,663
- Or probably needs new batteries.
- Yes, I must pop down to Willis's.
609
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:36,335
They are a price these days.
97p last time. Just fancy!
610
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:41,966
We ought to get one of these new hi-fis
when your endowment policy comes up.
611
00:46:42,091 --> 00:46:45,553
Oh, yes. Or a stereo.
I've only got two years to go.
612
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:51,267
- I hope Ron and Beryl got back all right.
- Oh, yes, they'll be all right.
613
00:46:51,392 --> 00:46:56,272
- Our Ron's a very careful driver.
- I didn't mean the driving so much, dear.
614
00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:58,858
- More the bomb.
- I'll give them a ring.
615
00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:02,820
Hello? Hello? Hello?
616
00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:07,658
No, it's not even ringing.
Oh, I expect the lines are down.
617
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:11,162
They say there are red-hot winds
of 500 miles an hour.
618
00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:14,749
I expect that would render the lines
inoperable.
619
00:47:14,874 --> 00:47:18,252
I'll drop him them a line,
tell them to give us a ring.
620
00:47:19,086 --> 00:47:22,882
- Do you think the post will be going?
- Oh, yes, bound to be.
621
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:25,885
The powers that be will endeavour
to maintain the communications.
622
00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:29,180
Remember the Blitz?
The post went on just the same.
623
00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:33,684
It's government policy.
It keeps up the morale of the population.
624
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:35,770
I hope Ron is insured.
625
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:37,730
You did pay ours,
didn't you, James?
626
00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:42,234
Oh, yes, dear. The bomb won't cost us
a penny. We'll be well covered.
627
00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:44,278
Mm. Lovely.
628
00:47:45,363 --> 00:47:48,616
We can have some nice new curtains
for the summer.
629
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:59,960
Crumbs! I wonder if it's all over already.
630
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,465
If it is all over,
I wish I knew who'd won.
631
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:08,636
We can't have lost the war, can we,
James? We won the other two.
632
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,888
No, of course not.
633
00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:15,559
Remember old Churchill?
,We will never surrender.”
634
00:48:15,684 --> 00:48:18,437
Yes, but Churchill's
not prime minister now, dear.
635
00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:21,524
Er... no.
Well, er... of course not.
636
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:25,236
I suppose it won't be
the same without, er...
637
00:48:25,361 --> 00:48:28,239
... with old whatshisname, will it?
638
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,533
Who is it, anyway?
639
00:48:30,658 --> 00:48:35,413
I must check the emergency supplies list.
We never had time to finish it.
640
00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:42,711
Who are you going
to write messages to, dear?
641
00:48:42,878 --> 00:48:47,967
Well, you never know. There's always
a need for vital messages in wartime.
642
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:52,138
Our lives might depend on a vital message
getting through to headquarters.
643
00:48:52,221 --> 00:48:53,514
Oh, I see, dear.
644
00:48:57,685 --> 00:48:59,728
What will you do with that, dear?
645
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:03,983
Well, if I saw a Russkie coming
down the lane, I'd bang the gong.
646
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,443
If we had one.
647
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:08,779
- Wouldn't he shoot you, dear?
- What, just for banging a gong?
648
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:12,074
He'd be well within his rights
to shoot you if there's a war on.
649
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:16,454
Oh, crumbs! You really think so?
Just for banging a gong?
650
00:49:16,579 --> 00:49:19,707
- I'm glad we haven't got a gong.
- We've got a whistle.
651
00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:23,586
- Have we? Where is it?
- I'm not sure.
652
00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:28,048
Hm. Never mind.
Let's leave it.
653
00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:30,634
Let's leave it.
654
00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:15,262
Oh, I do feel tired.
655
00:50:15,387 --> 00:50:18,641
Really exhausted and... all dizzy.
656
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:22,478
Nervous exhaustion
due to unaccustomed lifestyle.
657
00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,271
That's what that is.
658
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:28,859
- How's your headache, dear?
- Just the same, thanks.
659
00:50:28,984 --> 00:50:32,154
Aspirins didn't seem to do
any good at all.
660
00:50:32,279 --> 00:50:36,659
I think I've got a temperature.
I feel all hot and shivery.
661
00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,954
You do look pale, dear.
662
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:43,582
- I should have an early night.
- I must clear up.
663
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:46,835
Suppose someone comes
and sees the place in this state?
664
00:50:46,961 --> 00:50:48,337
We might have visitors.
665
00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:52,383
Yes. The Emergency Service
should arrive today.
666
00:50:52,508 --> 00:50:55,052
I'm surprised they've not come before.
667
00:50:55,177 --> 00:50:57,680
I expect they've got
a lot of people to attend to.
668
00:50:57,805 --> 00:51:01,016
Oh, yes.
We're only an outlying district.
669
00:51:01,141 --> 00:51:04,353
They'll be heavily engaged
within the stricken area itself.
670
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:09,400
- Will it be like meals on wheels, dear?
- Yes, I should think so.
671
00:51:09,525 --> 00:51:12,486
There'll be mobile canteens
and soup kitchens...
672
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:14,989
... teams of doctors and nurses...
673
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:18,492
... helicopters flying in blankets
and medical supplies.
674
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:22,037
It'll all move slowly into action,
you bet.
675
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,748
They'll all be here
in next to no time.
676
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:30,337
The governmental authorities have been
aware of this eventuality for years.
677
00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:34,425
So continency plans will have
been formulated long ago.
678
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:37,595
We won't have to worry about a thing.
679
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:40,931
The powers that be
will get to us in the end.
680
00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:45,227
I hope they come soon, dear.
I'm not feeling very well.
681
00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:49,315
I wonder if we'd have been
better off in the cellar.
682
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:53,152
Oh, no, dear. Too damp.
Think of my rheumatism.
683
00:51:53,277 --> 00:51:58,782
- Would you like a bite to eat, dearest?
- No, thanks. I'm right off food.
684
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:00,534
So am I.
685
00:52:02,036 --> 00:52:05,956
I must go to the toilet.
And I don't want any arguments.
686
00:52:07,082 --> 00:52:08,834
Blessed dust everywhere!
687
00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:11,879
Oh, crumbs! I forgot!
688
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,423
We're supposed to stay
in the inner core or refuge!
689
00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:17,760
Well, it's too late now.
We've been out for ages.
690
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:20,804
Oh, blimey! It was the whole point!
691
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,140
I wonder if there's any radiation about.
692
00:52:23,265 --> 00:52:26,060
Well, I can't see anything.
693
00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:31,148
Hurry up, dear,
and get back in the inner core or refuge!
694
00:52:31,273 --> 00:52:33,317
We'd better have an early night.
695
00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:38,739
Well, if you can't see it
and can't feel it...
696
00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:42,117
... it can't be doing you any harm, can it?
697
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:51,043
Better try and er...
eat something today, dear.
698
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:56,131
I was sick three times in the night.
My head aches even worse.
699
00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,801
Let's have a walk
round the garden, dear.
700
00:52:58,926 --> 00:53:04,765
I've just read it's only 48 hours
in the inner core or refuge, not 14 days.
701
00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:09,019
A bit of fresh air is all we need.
I'll get a nice lettuce.
702
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:23,117
Crumbs! Look at the door!
703
00:53:23,242 --> 00:53:26,495
The paint's all gone.
Scorched down to the wood.
704
00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:30,457
Never mind, dear.
You said you'd burn it off one day.
705
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:34,628
The leaves have all gone
off the apple tree, ducks.
706
00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:37,965
Oh, yes! What a shame.
707
00:53:38,090 --> 00:53:40,968
Still, it'll be lovely in the spring.
708
00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:43,137
It is spring, dear.
709
00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:47,850
Oh, listen.
710
00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:50,060
A dog.
711
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,814
Oh, poor thing!
712
00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:56,608
I expect he's hungry.
713
00:53:57,359 --> 00:53:59,403
The heat has affected the hedge, love.
714
00:53:59,528 --> 00:54:03,866
- The beans look a bit shrivelled.
- And I think the lettuce have evaporated.
715
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:07,161
Well, they do have a high water content.
716
00:54:07,286 --> 00:54:10,247
Can you see any fallout
falling out, James?
717
00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:13,000
No, the sun is trying to get through.
718
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,836
They didn't blow up the sun,
thank goodness.
719
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:19,631
Oh, no, dear.
Science is still in its infancy.
720
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:22,593
What does the fallout
look like, dear?
721
00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:25,345
I don't know.
The er... government directive...
722
00:54:25,471 --> 00:54:28,307
... heglects to mention
how the populous could recognize it.
723
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:31,977
I expect it's a bit like snow, ducks.
Only greyer.
724
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:34,146
The grass looks a funny colour.
725
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:38,901
Yes, I'll pop down to Mr Sponge's tomorrow
and get some bone meal and dried blood.
726
00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:41,278
He might be closed
due to the bomb, dear.
727
00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:43,781
What, old Sponge?
728
00:54:43,906 --> 00:54:47,826
Miss a day's trade?
Not him! He'd rather die!
729
00:54:47,951 --> 00:54:51,622
It's very cloudy. Almost foggy.
730
00:54:51,747 --> 00:54:54,792
We need some sun
to bring the garden on.
731
00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:59,129
- The milkman's not been yet. He's late.
- Oh, well, that's logical.
732
00:54:59,254 --> 00:55:01,799
He's bound to be a bit late
after the bomb.
733
00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:04,384
Perhaps he's been called up
to fight or something.
734
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:08,096
Oh, yes. Well, er... maybe.
735
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:11,058
But they'd have got a woman
or something.
736
00:55:12,476 --> 00:55:15,437
- Very quiet, isn't it?
- Yes.
737
00:55:16,396 --> 00:55:19,942
Funny, no trains, no traffic.
738
00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:24,780
I expect they're all having
a good lie-in after the bomb.
739
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:27,157
Terrible smell of burning.
740
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:32,496
Oh, yes.
Well, er... bound to be. That's logical.
741
00:55:32,621 --> 00:55:37,000
It's like... roast meat.
742
00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:39,503
Yes! Roast dinners.
743
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:42,673
I expect people are having
their Sunday dinners early this week...
744
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:46,134
... due to the unexpected circumstances.
745
00:55:46,260 --> 00:55:49,972
The road's gone all funny.
Seems to have melted a bit.
746
00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:54,768
I expect that's why the milkman's late.
He's got stuck somewhere.
747
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:58,397
I wonder if there's a proper war on.
748
00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:00,274
I wonder who's winning.
749
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:03,193
Never mind.
It'll all be in the papers, dear.
750
00:56:03,318 --> 00:56:06,029
Come to think of it,
he's late, too.
751
00:56:06,154 --> 00:56:08,323
He missed us
altogether yesterday.
752
00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:11,618
Well, you can't expect things
to be normal after the bomb.
753
00:56:11,743 --> 00:56:13,620
Difficulties will be experienced...
754
00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:16,290
... throughout the duration
of the emergency period.
755
00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:21,044
Normality will only be assumed
after the sensation of hostilities.
756
00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:26,842
Oh, dear.
I think I'm going to be sick again.
757
00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:34,892
There, there, there, ducks.
All better now?
758
00:56:40,314 --> 00:56:43,108
I had the most terrible diarrhoea
this morning.
759
00:56:43,191 --> 00:56:45,903
Nerves, dear. It's just nerves.
760
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:48,614
I'm the same, and I'm a man.
761
00:56:53,660 --> 00:56:56,455
Let's sit in the garden for a bit.
762
00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:59,958
Don't you think we ought
to clear up, dear?
763
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:02,586
Yes, yes, later on.
764
00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:08,842
I feel a bit er... weak and dizzy.
We'll make a start soon.
765
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:11,970
Suppose Jerry comes
this afternoon.
766
00:57:12,095 --> 00:57:16,642
No, they'd wait for the fallout
to clear. Too dangerous for a few days.
767
00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:19,061
We've got plenty of time.
768
00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:22,147
The situation is well in hand, you bet.
769
00:57:22,314 --> 00:57:25,067
Our boys will be lying in wait for ‘em.
770
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:29,363
I expect they've laid a trap.
Jerry will walk straight into it.
771
00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:34,034
Hello! There's cloud coming up.
Looks like rain.
772
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:41,500
It's raining! I'm going in.
773
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:43,627
Rain! Yes!
774
00:57:43,752 --> 00:57:45,253
We can save it!
775
00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:56,348
Don't you get wet, James.
You'll catch a chill.
776
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,809
We don't want you laid up again.
777
00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:04,272
We'll be all right for water now
for a while, dear.
778
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:07,150
Do you think rainwater
is all right to drink?
779
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:09,111
Oh, yes, of course it is.
780
00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:13,198
There's nothing purer than rainwater,
is there? Everybody knows that.
781
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,618
Perhaps I'd better boil it.
Best to be on the safe side.
782
00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:20,664
Oh, yes, I suppose so.
We don't want to take unnecessary risks.
783
00:58:20,789 --> 00:58:23,458
It may prejudice our chance of survival.
784
00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:27,295
What do you mean, James?
We have survived, haven't we?
785
00:58:27,421 --> 00:58:33,510
Yes, I know. But after the bombs
on Japan, people died ages later.
786
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:36,722
I... forget exactly why.
787
00:58:36,847 --> 00:58:38,974
Perhaps they didn't take
precautions.
788
00:58:39,099 --> 00:58:43,228
Yes. I expect they neglected
to do the correct thing and...
789
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:47,190
Oh, and anyway, that was years ago.
Science was in its infancy.
790
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,818
We're better equipped
to deal with the situation...
791
00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,279
... in the light of modern
scientific knowledge.
792
00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:58,285
Oh, yes. Nowadays, there's bound to be
all sorts of anditotes and protectives.
793
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,412
When the medics get through...
794
00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:03,165
... they'll probably just spray us
with some anditote...
795
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:08,837
... give us a couple of pills,
and in no time we'll be as right as rain.
796
00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:15,886
I'm glad we moved to the country
when you retired, dear.
797
00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:18,597
Yes. It's much more peaceful.
798
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:20,682
If we'd still been in London...
799
00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:22,684
... we'd probably have been
bombed out by now.
800
00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:25,937
Yes. Unless we'd been evacuated.
801
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:30,067
Oh, that was only children.
And women too, of course.
802
00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:33,361
I'd have been requisitioned
for essential war work.
803
00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:37,282
But you're far too old.
You're retired.
804
00:59:38,033 --> 00:59:42,245
Yes, but all age groups are
pressed into emergency service...
805
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:44,831
... during times
of national emergency, dear.
806
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:47,959
I'd have been an air raid warden.
807
00:59:50,128 --> 00:59:53,215
Or a stretcher bearer
for the Red Cross...
808
00:59:54,883 --> 01:00:00,222
... and St John's Ambulance Brigade,
or a fireman in the docks.
809
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:07,020
Jerry up above,
fire bombs raining down.
810
01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:08,939
Up the turntable ladders.
811
01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:11,566
Go on, Jim!
812
01:00:11,650 --> 01:00:13,735
Carrying women to safety.
813
01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:18,448
Trust you
to think of that, James.
814
01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:26,790
I wish we had neighbours. I'd like
to ask someone what's going on.
815
01:00:26,998 --> 01:00:28,625
Well, I warned you, dear.
816
01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:39,553
I wish we didn't have to stay put.
817
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,973
I quite fancy a pint.
818
01:00:43,098 --> 01:00:47,769
I said I'd see old George down
the Half Moon today for a game of darts.
819
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:55,527
I expect he'll be busy with his cows
after the bomb.
820
01:00:55,610 --> 01:00:59,698
It might've put them off laying...
milking, I mean.
821
01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:03,243
Yes, it may have curdled the milk
or something.
822
01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:06,288
These bombs have a terrific effect
on things.
823
01:01:07,164 --> 01:01:09,916
He may have switched over to yoghurt.
824
01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:11,376
Yes...
825
01:01:11,501 --> 01:01:16,256
Lots of people's lives are going to be
considerably affected by the bomb.
826
01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:19,801
London Airport will have
been knocked out, I expect.
827
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:23,889
Yes. Bang goes a lot of people's
holidays this year.
828
01:01:24,055 --> 01:01:26,183
The Yanks won't come
dropping in.
829
01:01:26,308 --> 01:01:29,936
Oh, no. Not unless to help us
against the Russkies.
830
01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:35,400
We used to stand
on the railway embankment...
831
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:39,779
... and the Yanks used to shower us
with gum and chocolate and K-rations.
832
01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:41,364
Terrific, it was.
833
01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:50,290
You won't be able to say that, James.
They're the enemy.
834
01:01:50,457 --> 01:01:53,335
Oh, yes. I keep forgetting.
835
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:58,256
Crumbs! We won't have
to try and kill them, will we?
836
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,884
Oh, I... I suppose so.
837
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,803
That's what you're supposed to do
to the enemy, isn't it?
838
01:02:03,929 --> 01:02:07,432
Crumbs!
I hadn't really thought of that.
839
01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:11,811
You mean to say, if one of them comes
through that door this afternoon...
840
01:02:11,937 --> 01:02:13,939
... I'm supposed to try and kill him?
841
01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:18,026
Well, not you, James.
After all, you're retired.
842
01:02:18,193 --> 01:02:20,403
Well, what would I kill him with?
843
01:02:20,528 --> 01:02:23,240
A bit of old iron, I suppose.
844
01:02:23,365 --> 01:02:26,743
I must mend those socks
for you, James.
845
01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:29,621
They'd have Tommy guns.
They always do.
846
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,706
He'd mow us down, Hilda!
847
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:35,794
If a German sees you in these socks,
he'll think you're just a peasant.
848
01:02:39,798 --> 01:02:43,551
Enemies of der Fatherland!
Heil Hitler!”
849
01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:48,890
Oh. Oh, no, sorry.
No, no, that's the last time.
850
01:02:49,015 --> 01:02:51,434
I keep forgetting, it's the Russkies now.
851
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:56,815
No, just suppose that one did come.
852
01:02:57,565 --> 01:02:59,317
A great big Russian.
853
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:02,779
Big overcoat, great big boots
with snow on them.
854
01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:06,658
Great furry hat, all covered
in belts of ammo and grenades.
855
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,619
Bloomin' great Tommy gun
pointing straight at us!
856
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:11,830
What am I supposed to do?
857
01:03:13,248 --> 01:03:15,542
You could offer him
a cup of tea, I suppose.
858
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:17,669
Aargh!
859
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:21,673
We mustn't be collaborators, Hilda.
They'd shave our heads.
860
01:03:21,756 --> 01:03:26,344
Russians like tea.
A cup of tea wouldn't hurt, surely?
861
01:03:26,469 --> 01:03:29,764
I suppose it's better than being
mown down in a hail of bullets.
862
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:35,186
Crumbs! They might round us up and
take us off to the concentration camps.
863
01:03:35,353 --> 01:03:38,440
Why? We've not done anything.
864
01:03:38,606 --> 01:03:40,734
We're not Jews, or anything.
865
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:44,529
- Your grandfather was a Jew.
- He was not!
866
01:03:44,988 --> 01:03:47,490
Well, only partly.
867
01:03:47,615 --> 01:03:50,869
They'd send us to Liberia.
Down the salt mines.
868
01:03:51,036 --> 01:03:53,830
- Whatever for?
- I don't know.
869
01:03:53,955 --> 01:03:57,667
They always do.
Perhaps Russians eat a lot of salt.
870
01:03:58,376 --> 01:04:00,879
I expect
they're quite nice, really.
871
01:04:01,963 --> 01:04:05,467
I saw the Russians
dancing on telly once.
872
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,553
All in boots.
They seemed nice.
873
01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:12,766
Oh, yes.
I bet some of them are nice.
874
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:16,353
There were supposed to be
some nice Germans last time.
875
01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:25,737
I think we're running out of water again,
dear. The rainwater's all gone.
876
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:31,576
Oh, we've still got a pint of milk.
877
01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:36,539
Better save that for teatime.
I can't bear tea without milk.
878
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:40,460
- Posh people have lemon in it.
- I know! Horrible!
879
01:04:40,585 --> 01:04:42,253
Crumbs!
880
01:04:42,379 --> 01:04:46,341
I wonder if it was an American missile
falling a bit short.
881
01:04:46,466 --> 01:04:50,637
That happened in the war,
blokes getting shelled by their own guns.
882
01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:54,140
Be funny
if it was an American missile...
883
01:04:54,265 --> 01:04:56,309
... that had landed on us,
wouldn't it, dear?
884
01:04:57,435 --> 01:04:59,771
I can't see it's very funny, James.
885
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:03,566
No, well, er...
Funny peculiar, I mean.
886
01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:05,860
Are they worse than the Russian ones?
887
01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:11,324
Oh, I shouldn't think so, love.
I expect they're all much of a muchness.
888
01:05:11,449 --> 01:05:17,038
They all work on the same principle.
It's called, er... megadeath, I think.
889
01:05:17,163 --> 01:05:20,125
So many millions of people
dead per bang.
890
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,210
Any ketchup, dear?
891
01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:25,130
I expect the quantity
is similar either way.
892
01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:28,216
Are all the bangs
about the same size, then?
893
01:05:28,341 --> 01:05:33,680
Oh, no! There's one megaton,
and 10 megaton, an' that.
894
01:05:34,722 --> 01:05:38,977
It's, er... just a question of
how big a bang you want to make...
895
01:05:39,102 --> 01:05:44,232
... and how many...
people you want to Kill.
896
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,568
More baked beans, dear?
897
01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:50,029
No, thanks. I'm a bit off food.
898
01:05:50,155 --> 01:05:53,658
Then there's the, er... overkill, see?
899
01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:58,788
That's where they kill more people
than they really need to.
900
01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:03,501
Say you want a bang big enough
to kill one million people...
901
01:06:03,626 --> 01:06:07,172
... and you go and use
a three-million-people bang.
902
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:11,718
It's terrifically wasteful of energy,
in the present economic climate.
903
01:06:11,801 --> 01:06:13,344
I see, dear.
904
01:06:13,428 --> 01:06:17,682
Yes, there's one thing about
the present economic situation...
905
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:20,351
- I mean...
- Such a shame we can't wash up.
906
01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:24,522
... in order to conserve
world energy resources...
907
01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:28,818
... the powers that be will only use
the smallest possible bang.
908
01:06:29,777 --> 01:06:31,613
Oh, I can't bear it!
909
01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:36,367
- I expect that's why we're still here.
- We're running out of crockery!
910
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:40,830
We could say we owe our lives
to the world economic procession.
911
01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:51,132
- Put the kettle on, will you, ducks?
- There's no water, dear.
912
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:54,135
Oh, no, no. Of course.
913
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:57,597
Just... Just have to have milk, then.
914
01:06:57,722 --> 01:07:02,519
That pint's gone bad, dear.
The fridge has been off.
915
01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:05,647
Oh, heck! Well, er...
916
01:07:06,606 --> 01:07:10,235
- A black coffee, then.
- There's still no water, dear.
917
01:07:12,111 --> 01:07:16,574
Well, wh-what are we going
to drink, eh? Eh?
918
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:20,537
What... What... What are we
going to drink, for God's sake?
919
01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:22,622
Don't shout, dearest.
920
01:07:24,082 --> 01:07:25,959
I'm sorry, love.
921
01:07:26,084 --> 01:07:29,003
I'm just... terribly thirsty.
922
01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:34,592
How about a nice sweet, dear?
It's a blackcurrant fruit pastille.
923
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:39,722
Oh! There's only one left.
924
01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:42,725
- Er... you have it.
- No, you have it.
925
01:07:44,143 --> 01:07:47,730
We'll, er... We'll cut it in half.
That's fair.
926
01:07:55,947 --> 01:07:59,867
- Help!
- I'm coming! I-I'm coming! I'm coming!
927
01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:03,246
A rat! A rat! Aargh!
928
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:06,165
A rat in the lavatory! Oh!
929
01:08:07,834 --> 01:08:12,005
Euw! I saw it!
Its tail was waving in the pan!
930
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:14,340
Never mind, dear.
Never mind.
931
01:08:14,465 --> 01:08:17,844
No, no, no.
It won't hurt you, dearest.
932
01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:23,600
The pan's all dry and
its... head was round the bend...
933
01:08:23,725 --> 01:08:26,894
... just its bottom end sticking out.
A tail!
934
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:29,564
Oh! A tail!
935
01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:32,483
Horrible! Horrible!
936
01:08:32,567 --> 01:08:34,777
There, there, dear.
Don't worry.
937
01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:39,657
I'll pop down to Willis's
in the morning and get some warfarin.
938
01:08:39,824 --> 01:08:43,202
Now, at least it shows
the drains aren't blocked.
939
01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:46,956
Oh, dear!
940
01:08:47,081 --> 01:08:49,250
I do feel queer.
941
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:51,210
All shaky.
942
01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:55,131
Well, it's bound
to upset you a bit.
943
01:08:55,256 --> 01:08:57,258
The bomb, I mean.
944
01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:04,349
Have you got... lipstick on, dear?
945
01:09:04,766 --> 01:09:08,478
Lipstick?
What do you mean, James?
946
01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,272
You know I haven't worn lipstick
for years.
947
01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:16,277
- Well, er... your lips are all red.
- Oh!
948
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,155
Oh, my!
949
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:21,282
My gums are bleeding.
950
01:09:23,576 --> 01:09:26,496
I thought there was a funny taste.
951
01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:32,210
Well, shrinking of gums,
causing ill-fitting dentures.
952
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:34,587
That's what that is.
953
01:09:34,837 --> 01:09:40,968
Yeah, erm... Better get to the dentist
when the emergency has rescinded.
954
01:09:41,094 --> 01:09:44,180
There was blood when I went
to the toilet this morning.
955
01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,516
Yes, yes. Me, too.
956
01:09:46,641 --> 01:09:50,478
P-piles, that is. H-hovaloids.
957
01:09:50,603 --> 01:09:54,857
A common complaint in...
in middle-aged people like ourselves.
958
01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:58,861
I'll... I'll pop down to...
to the chemist...
959
01:09:58,986 --> 01:10:02,532
... When the crisis pales
into insignificance...
960
01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:06,786
... and I'll... I'll get some
of those suppositories.
961
01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:09,872
Oh!
962
01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:11,958
Oh, dear.
963
01:10:12,709 --> 01:10:15,086
I think I'm going to be sick.
964
01:10:19,757 --> 01:10:22,719
Now, there, there, ducks.
There, there. There, there.
965
01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:28,141
Now, now. All better now.
Now, please. Don't upset yourself, love.
966
01:10:28,266 --> 01:10:32,019
Please, please.
Now, don't dry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
967
01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:37,692
I expect it's due to the vibration,
you know. Like that day in the car.
968
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:40,778
You remember that time
we went to Bournemouth, hmm?
969
01:10:40,945 --> 01:10:45,408
And you were sick in the coach.
Don't worry, ducks. Don't worry.
970
01:10:45,533 --> 01:10:48,244
There can't be anything wrong with you.
971
01:10:48,369 --> 01:10:52,623
I expect it's... it's just the...
the after-effects of the bomb.
972
01:11:18,816 --> 01:11:25,198
Oh, I... I... I do...
fancy a nice cup of tea.
973
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:31,537
Do you think the cows will be
affected by the bomb, dear?
974
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:37,335
Oh, no, I... I shouldn't think so.
They're... They're all out in the country.
975
01:11:37,585 --> 01:11:41,047
Supplies of milk will be maintained.
976
01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:47,553
It is... essential for the maintenance
of... healthy bones and teeth.
977
01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:51,015
Yes, but we live
in the country, dear.
978
01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:54,352
Yes, yes, yes,
I... I know, dear.
979
01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:58,356
Well, the grass is all dead and funny.
980
01:11:58,689 --> 01:12:01,484
Yes, erm... Well, er...
981
01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:04,487
I don't know.
982
01:12:04,570 --> 01:12:10,618
I expect there may be...
a temporary containment of supplies.
983
01:12:11,369 --> 01:12:16,666
I suppose we'd better just
sit here and wait for help to arrive.
984
01:12:16,791 --> 01:12:23,005
Yes. The emergency services
will have... sprung into action...
985
01:12:23,130 --> 01:12:25,967
... at the first alarm signal.
986
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:29,136
I hope they get here before the enemy.
987
01:12:31,264 --> 01:12:36,060
Oh, I... I hope Beryl and Ron
got back all right.
988
01:12:36,185 --> 01:12:39,564
Oh, they'll... they'll be all right.
989
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:44,443
They'll... They'll have been safely home
long... long before the bomb.
990
01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:48,739
Our Ron's... a sensible boy.
991
01:12:48,865 --> 01:12:55,329
At the first siren, he'd get the whole
family down to the shelters right away.
992
01:12:55,454 --> 01:12:58,499
There aren't any shelters, dear.
993
01:12:58,624 --> 01:13:02,879
Oh, no. No, no, I... I forgot.
994
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,631
But he'll... he'll be all right.
995
01:13:05,756 --> 01:13:08,634
I gave him the governmental leaflet.
996
01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:11,637
He'll... He'll be all right with that.
997
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:18,102
That will afford him the maximum
protection available to the populous.
998
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:20,897
He'll... He'll take cover immediately...
999
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:26,152
... and... adopt all the prescribed
precautionary measures.
1000
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:29,071
He... He's no fool, our Ron.
1001
01:13:29,196 --> 01:13:32,992
He's not likely to get
hot under the collar.
1002
01:13:33,117 --> 01:13:35,494
He... He won't go to pieces.
1003
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:39,665
The whole family will...
will stick together.
1004
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:42,293
Oh, look!
1005
01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:45,963
There's funny spots on my legs.
1006
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:50,259
Er... They're various veins.
That's... That's what that is.
1007
01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:53,679
That's... That's a common
complaint amongst...
1008
01:13:53,804 --> 01:13:56,891
... amongst the middle-aged
segment of the populous.
1009
01:13:57,016 --> 01:14:00,144
Oh, that's...
that's nothing to worry about.
1010
01:14:00,311 --> 01:14:04,857
They don't look like veins to me.
I don't like the look of it.
1011
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:08,736
Oh... Oh, you are...
you are a baby!
1012
01:14:08,819 --> 01:14:12,239
You're a worn... worn...
born worrier, you are, you know.
1013
01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:16,160
Now, you just try and look
on the bright side, eh, ducks? Hmm?
1014
01:14:16,285 --> 01:14:18,287
Look. Look. Look!
1015
01:14:18,412 --> 01:14:22,583
I've even got funny blotches
on my skin, see?
1016
01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:24,835
And I... I'm a man.
1017
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:26,545
Yes...
1018
01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:31,133
Yes, too much tinned food.
That's all that is.
1019
01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:33,094
Yes...
1020
01:14:33,219 --> 01:14:36,555
Pilchards never did agree with me.
1021
01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:40,685
I must put some skin lotion
on those spots.
1022
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:44,230
Yes. Oh, they'll...
they'll soon clear up.
1023
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:47,900
I'll pop down to the chemist...
chemist in the morning.
1024
01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:50,736
I'll get some... get some ointment.
1025
01:14:50,820 --> 01:14:52,405
Yes...
1026
01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:57,159
We could do with some lozenges
or pastilles, too.
1027
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:04,083
- I've still got a terrible throat.
- Yes, so have I.
1028
01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:05,751
I wonder...
1029
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:10,297
... if they'll be able
to sell us some water.
1030
01:15:10,423 --> 01:15:13,884
I'm going to have
an early night, James.
1031
01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:19,140
We could do with a good long rest
after that blessed bomb.
1032
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:24,228
Oh, yes, yes. It's bound to take it
out of you, a thing like that.
1033
01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:28,566
Yeah, it's a...
it's a shock to the system.
1034
01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:32,069
Oh, yes. I expect so.
1035
01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:34,905
Oh... Oh!
1036
01:15:34,989 --> 01:15:36,407
Look!
1037
01:15:37,616 --> 01:15:42,455
- My hair's coming out!
- Don't... Don't worry, dearest.
1038
01:15:42,580 --> 01:15:44,248
Don't worry, don't worry.
1039
01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:47,543
Women don't go bald. No!
1040
01:15:47,668 --> 01:15:50,546
That's a... That's a scientific fact.
1041
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:55,926
Shall we get into those
paper bags again?
1042
01:15:56,052 --> 01:15:59,263
Well... w-w-whatever for, dear?
1043
01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:02,099
Well, you never know.
1044
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:07,021
There might be another one
while we're asleep.
1045
01:16:07,146 --> 01:16:10,274
Well, I... I suppose it er...
wouldn't hurt.
1046
01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:15,404
It... It would be a...
a sensible precautionary m-measure...
1047
01:16:15,488 --> 01:16:19,033
... in the... in the...
in the circumstances.
1048
01:16:19,158 --> 01:16:24,705
After all, really,
this is an all-out war situation...
1049
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:26,707
... and, er... well, I mean...
1050
01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:32,797
... another I... IBM...
might... might come over.
1051
01:16:35,049 --> 01:16:38,886
Oh, it's stuffy in these bags.
1052
01:16:39,011 --> 01:16:40,429
Yes...
1053
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:44,600
Now you know what it feels like
to be a potato.
1054
01:16:46,143 --> 01:16:50,189
I should hate that,
being buried in the ground.
1055
01:16:50,314 --> 01:16:52,983
Oh, yes. Yes, so would I.
1056
01:16:53,067 --> 01:16:57,571
- Give me... cremation every time.
- Oh, me too.
1057
01:17:00,491 --> 01:17:04,662
We'd better just stay here
and wait for the...
1058
01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:07,748
... emergency services to arrive.
1059
01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:12,294
Y-y-yes. Yes, they'll take...
they'll take good care of us.
1060
01:17:12,419 --> 01:17:15,798
We won't have to worry about...
about a thing.
1061
01:17:15,923 --> 01:17:19,635
Just... Just leave everything to them.
1062
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:27,935
The governmental authorities...
will know what to do with us.
1063
01:17:28,060 --> 01:17:33,232
The powers that be...
will get to us in the end.
1064
01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:38,904
You have got the box with
our medical cards and birth certificates...
1065
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,656
... haven't you?
1066
01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:42,575
Yes, dear, yes.
1067
01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:45,661
They're quite safe.
1068
01:17:48,581 --> 01:17:50,916
Shall we pray, dear?
1069
01:17:52,293 --> 01:17:54,587
- Pray?
- Yes.
1070
01:17:55,421 --> 01:18:00,092
Oh, crumbs.
Er... who... who to?
1071
01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:05,139
- Well, God, of course.
- Oh... Oh, I see.
1072
01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:07,224
Er, y-yes.
1073
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:12,313
If you think it... it er... would be...
would be the correct thing.
1074
01:18:12,438 --> 01:18:16,650
- It can't do any harm, dear.
- OK.
1075
01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:19,403
Er... Here goes.
1076
01:18:20,779 --> 01:18:24,533
Er... Dear... Sir...
1077
01:18:24,658 --> 01:18:26,994
No, that's wrong.
1078
01:18:27,119 --> 01:18:30,831
Well... er...
H-h-how do you start?
1079
01:18:31,582 --> 01:18:33,792
Oh, God...
1080
01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:37,421
Our help... in ages past?
1081
01:18:37,546 --> 01:18:40,090
That's it. Keep it up.
1082
01:18:41,050 --> 01:18:46,263
Almighty and
most merciful Father, er...
1083
01:18:47,139 --> 01:18:49,892
Oh, that's good.
1084
01:18:50,017 --> 01:18:52,686
"Dearly beloved...
1085
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:58,817
... We are gathered, er...
u-u-unto thee...
1086
01:18:58,984 --> 01:19:02,571
I shall fear no evil.
1087
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:07,993
Thy rod... and thy staff...
comfort me...
1088
01:19:08,118 --> 01:19:12,122
... all... the days...
the days of my life.
1089
01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:19,171
Er... I-l-lay me down...
in... in green pastures..."
1090
01:19:21,382 --> 01:19:24,260
I... I can't remember any more.
1091
01:19:25,511 --> 01:19:31,350
That was nice. I liked the bit
about the green pasture.
1092
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:34,103
Oh, oh, yes, yes.
1093
01:19:34,228 --> 01:19:38,816
"Into the valley
of the shadow of death...”
1094
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:43,112
Oh... No more, love.
1095
01:19:44,905 --> 01:19:47,157
No... no more.
1096
01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:52,288
"...rode the six hundred...”
91963
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