Original subtitles

So, we're done.

I'm-- Imma, Imma go ahead and-- is fired the word? I guess--

I guess it is fired.

So, I'm gonna fire you, but in a--

but in a dope way so that where we still cool.

Imma--Imma go on and, uh, and get ready.

My guy.

- It's stunt time. - Kevin.

This is a terrible idea.

It's stunt time.

Listen, I'm not trying to show you off.

- Hey! - It's all good, Mr. Action Star.

Now, you listen to me.

All right, I've been in this business

for goddamn, goddamn, how long? How long?

You telling me that my goddamn reputation

doesn't speak for myself?

It's fucking should!

What, what, what is cap for a shoot?

Does Mackey have a guy?

He does. He-- everybody's got a fucking guy, huh?

What about the Adam Driver, man? You said he's available, huh?

I can-- I can-- listen, I can do work for him.

I can-- I can be Adam's driver, right?

I-- yeah-- no, listen, I'm serious about that.

I don't give a fuck. I'll drive.

I'll, I'll be Adam's Driver's driver's driver if I have to.

Goddamn it, Scott. Fuck you.

I've been in the goddamn business for years.

You know what? This is my big time.

I really enjoy working.

I find a lot of, uh, peace, happiness, and, uh, solace,

and creating.

And now, my creating is about putting other people

in positions to win, um,

amplifying other careers and opportunities, not just me.

So, hopefully, it continues to grow.

I can't believe my stuntman would do this to me.

Ex-stuntman.

No, I gotta do something about this-- oh. Oh.

- Oh, whoa, whoa, Kevin. - Uh-oh.

- Oh, no. - Hey.

Let mom look at this. Hold on.

Oh. Oh, we gotta change this dressing.

Take him to the bedroom. Prop him up.

- Here we go. Here we go. - Get some wet towels.

- Here we go. - Shouldn't he go to a hospital?

No. I'll, I'll get him back on track. It's what I do.

Wait, you're a doctor?

I'm better than a doctor.

I'm a mom.

Left, right, left, right.

He's gonna be fine. My mom is a miracle worker.

How about you? Are you okay?

Uh, well, not really. This is my problem too.

Doug probably blames me for losing his job.

That's why he's put me in this deadly little game of his

just for payback.

Yeah. Okay, that's fine then.

When Kevin gets back to full health,

he will think of an incredible plan for all of us.

No, no, fuck that. We can't just sit here.

We need to do something. We need to get to the bottom of this.

Who is the person who Kevin trusts the most?

Uh, his agent.

- Really? - Yeah.

Let's pay them a visit.

Right now? We can't go right now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jordan, we can't go right now.

But what about this?

What about this? You're famous, Jordan, you get in there,

they're gonna recognize you. That's a problem.

Second is, Doug actually thinks that you're dead, right?

You blew up.

Shit. You're right.

Oh, my God. I just thought of something amazing.

Thank me. Thank me now.

Let me hear it first.

Smart. That's a smart move. Okay.

In the back, there-- there's a disguise.

I always keep a spare disguise for Kevin in the back.

Grab that bag real quick.

You have spare disguises.

Yes. I mean,

sometimes Kevin likes to live anonymously, right?

Whether he wants to go grocery shopping,

feed the ducks, heckle a stranger.

Yeah. I'm not wearing this.

Come on. Did you see all of them real quick?

Like this one right here. Okay. This one right here...

Andre, the road.

I'm doing it. It's a hard left with my knees, baby.

Look at this.

This is embarrassing.

Just... we're lucky that you and Kevin are in the same size.

You know what I mean?

Think about this as your greatest acting role to date.

You got this. Okay?

Uh, we're here to see, uh... Scott Heyman.

Okay.

And you are?

Ronald Mondovia the III.

A pleasure to meet you, and this is the wickedly talented...

Bill. My name is Bill.

Bill Mondovia. We're both Mondovias.

This is my uncle on my mama's side.

Shit fuck, can this man cook a goose?

What was all that before?

Mondovia? That's nobody's surname.

What did you expect? Okay?

I couldn't concentrate.

Your accent was fucking insane.

- My accent? - Yes,

Bill, Bill, Bill.

It-- okay. It wasn't great, but I mean...

- My accent? I nailed my accent. - Do you know what? It doesn't--

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because there's no way

they're letting us go back to see Kevin's agent, okay?

They probably all called security.

So, if security comes,

we just pretend to be Ronald and Bill Mondovia,

the very famous Instagram influencers

who make unboxing videos.

What is this? We unbox it. And it's a smaller box.

- Okay? - Look, look, look.

She's going to the loo.

I don't think that Bill will call it the loo,

though he's more old school.

We're actually about to take a shit.

Play it cool. Play it cool.

Like and subscribe, please.

Okay. Stop, stop, stop right there.

Right there. That's Kevin's agent.

Who's he talking to?

It's not Kevin.

Shh. Try not to move.

Mr. Kevin Hart needs to regain his strength.

As long as it takes, you'll be here in my house,

listening to my stories,

eatin' my Christmas pork chops.

Shh.

When my husband was wounded years ago, I couldn't save him.

But now, I've got a second chance with you.

Kevin Hart, America's treasure.

Cynthia's treasure.

Mom, Mom, put Kevin on.

I can't. He's sleeping.

It's an emergency. Put him on right now, Mom.

Come on. Wake him up.

Hello? Are you here to rescue me?

I think I've been poisoned.

Kevin, listen up very closely, okay?

We've just been on a deep cover

reconnaissance mission and we fucking nailed--

Doug is you, you've been replaced by Doug.

Wait, what? Replaced? I don't understand.

And that's because my mommy

just gave you a very low dose narcotic.

Don't worry about it. But when you come to,

you have to understand that Doug

is trying to convince people that he is you.

He's fixed his teeth. He's changed his hair.

- I mean, his mannerism. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. He's, he's you.

Yeah, well, he can't fool my staff.

They'll know it's not me.

They're my village.

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.

You get a raise.

That's right. Everybody gets a raise. Huh? You know why?

'Cause I'm Kevin. I'm Kevin.

Sorry, Kevin is suddenly very tired. He needs his rest. Bye.

No, no, no, no.

Mom, no, Mom. Mom, do--

Shh.

If Kevin wants to get through to Doug,

there's only one man he can talk to.

Mr. 206.

I don't-- who-- who's Mr. 206?

He's a pretty famous stuntman, and he's Doug's mentor.

Okay. Okay, fine. Then this is easy.

We just take Kevin to see Mr. 206.

We? Nope. No way. I...

will not be going to see 206.

He is a complete psychopath.

He nearly killed me in a stunt rehearsal,

and then tried to make me apologize.

Jordan, Jordan, Kevin needs you right now.

- He needs me? - He does right now.

Oh, I thought Kevin doesn't need anyone until he needs everyone.

Okay, fine. Then I'll take him to see Mr. 206.

Why? This is Kevin's problem.

You should just let him go on his own.

No. As long as I'm Kevin's assistant,

I'll never drive himself anywhere.

It's in neutral.

I am so sorry. We're slowing down. I was trying to go faster.

We did the opposite.

I am so happy my mom was able to nurse you back to health.

What did you just say to me?

The woman put drugs in my goddamn pork chop.

She tried to poison me.

She's amazing, right? Look at you now.

Okay. Come on. Come on.

So, tell me, why did they call him 206?

'Cause it's 206 bones in the human body.

They said before he became a mentor in the stunt game

that he broke every single one of 'em.

Actually, no, it was 205, but then it was last day of filming

and they say he broke the 206th one.

What? Which one was that?

Pinky toe right foot, snapped it.

Goddamn.

Uh, hello?

Uh, 206.

Hey, M-M-Mr. Two hundred and six?

It's 206.

Sign says, "No solicitor." Go away.

Yeah. No, we, we didn't see a sign. There's no sign.

Who took my fucking sign?

We didn't take it.

Hey, either way, we're not here to solicit.

We're, we're not-- we're not selling anything.

You, you don't even recognize my voice.

And you know who's at the door right now?

This is Kevin Hart, comedian, actor.

I just told you to go...

- the fuck away! - Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.