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1
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Okay, there's a strong possibility
2
00:00:45,057 --> 00:00:47,057
I could end up naked with
Josh in the very near future.
3
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I need you to look at my
body and be brutally honest.
4
00:00:49,767 --> 00:00:52,597
Ooh, I like the landing strip.
5
00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:54,267
Nice choice.
6
00:00:54,357 --> 00:00:56,107
It's like the little
black dress of pubic hair.
7
00:00:56,187 --> 00:00:57,777
But what about the skin above my knees?
8
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And I think I'm getting a cleavage wrinkle.
9
00:00:59,657 --> 00:01:01,277
- What are you talking about?
- Right here.
10
00:01:01,357 --> 00:01:02,697
It's from sleeping on
my side all these years.
11
00:01:02,777 --> 00:01:03,947
You know that you're an insane person?
12
00:01:04,077 --> 00:01:05,867
A cleavage wrinkle?
13
00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:07,447
With everything that women
have to be paranoid about,
14
00:01:07,587 --> 00:01:08,617
we don't need to be making up new stuff.
15
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You look amazing.
16
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Don't look at me with best friend eyes.
17
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I need your artist eye.
18
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,627
Josh is an artist. Oh, my God.
19
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He's a tattoo artist.
20
00:01:15,877 --> 00:01:17,127
All he does is look at skin all day.
21
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Taut, young skin!
22
00:01:18,627 --> 00:01:20,257
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on with you?
23
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,797
I don't know! I just... I don't...
24
00:01:21,877 --> 00:01:23,547
I don't know if I can have sex with someone
25
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who's barely old enough to rent a car.
26
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Liza, if you don't want to sleep with him...
27
00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:28,057
Oh, no, no, I want to have sex with him.
28
00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:30,857
It's just, I don't know if...
29
00:01:30,977 --> 00:01:33,477
I can't say this out loud, but...
30
00:01:33,557 --> 00:01:35,227
I haven't had sex in two years.
31
00:01:35,307 --> 00:01:36,857
Oh.
32
00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:39,477
Okay, well, uh, it's not like you forgot how.
33
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You just need to relax.
34
00:01:40,987 --> 00:01:41,987
- Right.
- Yeah.
35
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,037
How do I do that?
36
00:01:43,157 --> 00:01:44,117
Take one of my Xanax.
37
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:45,157
Isn't it illegal to take
38
00:01:45,287 --> 00:01:46,787
someone else's prescription medicine?
39
00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:49,987
You're so cute. Maybe just take half.
40
00:02:01,217 --> 00:02:03,087
You've got mail.
41
00:02:03,177 --> 00:02:04,887
Oh, I love that movie.
42
00:02:05,007 --> 00:02:06,837
I mean, I love watching
43
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,897
old movies on my iPad.
44
00:02:09,017 --> 00:02:09,897
Streaming them.
45
00:02:10,017 --> 00:02:11,847
I'm a huge... I'm a big streamer.
46
00:02:11,977 --> 00:02:13,097
I'm gonna go back to work now.
47
00:02:13,187 --> 00:02:14,347
No, stay.
48
00:02:14,487 --> 00:02:15,897
This is going to be a real treat for you.
49
00:02:16,017 --> 00:02:17,857
- It's for me?
- God, no, it's for me.
50
00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:19,267
But you get to be the first to see it.
51
00:02:22,357 --> 00:02:24,327
It's Judith Leiber, made to order.
52
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:29,527
Just cobra and stingray
53
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:30,867
with antiqued gold hardware.
54
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,537
Hematite, Austrian crystal,
55
00:02:32,617 --> 00:02:34,457
and onyx stone inlay.
56
00:02:34,537 --> 00:02:36,367
It's gorgeous, Diana.
57
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:37,927
I just wish men appreciated bags
58
00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:39,377
as much as women.
59
00:02:39,457 --> 00:02:40,707
Men are visual.
60
00:02:40,847 --> 00:02:42,207
They respond to the whole picture,
61
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:43,757
even if they don't know why.
62
00:02:43,877 --> 00:02:45,097
I'm telling you, men are
gonna love that purse
63
00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:46,347
without even realizing they saw it.
64
00:02:48,047 --> 00:02:50,047
Let me ask you a question.
65
00:02:52,727 --> 00:02:53,607
Do you think I should change
66
00:02:53,727 --> 00:02:54,937
my profile photo?
67
00:02:55,057 --> 00:02:56,977
Maybe do one with the Leiber?
68
00:02:57,057 --> 00:02:58,527
Uh, absolutely.
69
00:02:58,607 --> 00:03:00,897
Would you mind...
70
00:03:01,027 --> 00:03:02,447
taking a few photos?
71
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:04,567
Sure.
72
00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:06,947
Oh, no, not with that.
73
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,907
Use this.
74
00:03:08,987 --> 00:03:11,537
And run it though one of
those fancy Instagram filters.
75
00:03:15,747 --> 00:03:16,407
Guess who has a reading
76
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,247
tomorrow night
77
00:03:17,377 --> 00:03:18,577
at the Swedish consulate?
78
00:03:18,717 --> 00:03:19,967
Bjornberg?
79
00:03:20,087 --> 00:03:21,337
I finished the translation you gave me.
80
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:22,637
You're right; he's incredible.
81
00:03:22,757 --> 00:03:23,417
His agent wants him
82
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,467
to sign with Knopf.
83
00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:25,467
But I'm gonna get him
84
00:03:25,587 --> 00:03:26,557
to change his mind.
85
00:03:26,637 --> 00:03:27,587
And how are you going to do that?
86
00:03:27,727 --> 00:03:28,727
I don't know.
87
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:30,427
But I'm not above yodeling.
88
00:03:30,507 --> 00:03:31,557
That's Swiss.
89
00:03:31,647 --> 00:03:33,007
Swedes are more into free childcare,
90
00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:34,007
herring, and depression.
91
00:03:36,097 --> 00:03:37,687
Check this out.
92
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,147
It's a tattoo Josh did.
93
00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,317
Wow.
94
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:41,817
It says, "You have to see it IRL."
95
00:03:41,937 --> 00:03:43,157
What's IRL?
96
00:03:43,277 --> 00:03:44,487
In real life.
97
00:03:44,607 --> 00:03:45,577
When you were in India,
98
00:03:45,657 --> 00:03:46,577
were you living under
99
00:03:46,657 --> 00:03:47,827
an actual rock?
100
00:03:47,947 --> 00:03:49,657
No, but I did spend one monsoon season
101
00:03:49,777 --> 00:03:51,667
in a cave IRL.
102
00:03:51,777 --> 00:03:53,827
Bam. Used it right there.
103
00:03:58,957 --> 00:04:00,667
Last time I was in New Jersey,
104
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:02,127
it was illegal to pump your own gas.
105
00:04:02,257 --> 00:04:03,927
- It still is.
- Still?
106
00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:05,177
So same-sex marriage is legal,
107
00:04:05,297 --> 00:04:06,927
but pumping your own gas isn't?
108
00:04:07,017 --> 00:04:08,877
- Yup.
- I like New Jersey.
109
00:04:10,187 --> 00:04:12,137
Will you check that for me?
110
00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,967
Ooh, hotty hotpants alert.
111
00:04:14,107 --> 00:04:15,217
It's from Josh.
112
00:04:18,807 --> 00:04:20,107
Oh, nice.
113
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:21,277
What should I text back?
114
00:04:21,357 --> 00:04:23,227
How about "the escrow
115
00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:24,897
"on my suburban New Jersey home is closed,
116
00:04:24,977 --> 00:04:27,817
and I'm on my way to tag
everything for the movers."
117
00:04:27,897 --> 00:04:29,197
Why not throw in the fact that I'm 40
118
00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:30,447
and a baby's head came out of my Frida?
119
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,907
You call it your Frida?
120
00:04:31,987 --> 00:04:32,957
Yeah, what do you call it?
121
00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:34,237
The entertainment center.
122
00:04:34,327 --> 00:04:36,207
I wish I had your confidence.
123
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:37,907
Good, 'cause I'm sending some of it to Josh.
124
00:04:37,997 --> 00:04:39,997
I request final text approval.
125
00:04:42,337 --> 00:04:43,717
Ah, that's good.
126
00:04:47,307 --> 00:04:49,167
No! That is not approved.
127
00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,087
Too late. I hit "send."
128
00:04:54,477 --> 00:04:56,347
I thought we were just here to tag stuff.
129
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:57,557
Why is there a moving van here?
130
00:04:57,677 --> 00:04:59,267
The more important question is,
131
00:04:59,347 --> 00:05:01,847
why is my soon-to-be-ex-husband here?
132
00:05:03,857 --> 00:05:06,017
David!
133
00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:07,857
Liza, what are you... I
didn't know you'd be here.
134
00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:09,157
Wow, you look great.
135
00:05:09,247 --> 00:05:10,857
Did you do something different with your...
136
00:05:10,947 --> 00:05:13,277
She just dropped 180 pounds of dead weight.
137
00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:14,577
Great to see you, Maggie...
138
00:05:14,697 --> 00:05:15,917
As always. Still single?
139
00:05:16,037 --> 00:05:17,497
Still stripping the blackjack dealer?
140
00:05:17,587 --> 00:05:18,587
David, what's going on?
141
00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:19,917
Uh, listen, I got a great
142
00:05:20,037 --> 00:05:21,337
last-minute deal on these movers,
143
00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:23,367
so I figured I'd have
everything put into storage.
144
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,537
And that way, you could
just go get your stuff
145
00:05:25,677 --> 00:05:27,087
whenever it's convenient for you.
146
00:05:27,207 --> 00:05:28,877
I'm having a consignment guy come tomorrow.
147
00:05:28,957 --> 00:05:31,007
I wanted him to see the
furniture in the house.
148
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,597
Fine.
149
00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:35,547
I'm an ass.
150
00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:37,297
- Take it all.
- What?
151
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,267
Yeah, I screwed this up. Take everything.
152
00:05:39,387 --> 00:05:40,557
- No.
- Take it, Liza.
153
00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:42,977
Yeah, and maybe someday
you'll look back on this
154
00:05:43,057 --> 00:05:46,227
and say, "Hey, you know, David wasn't so bad.
155
00:05:46,317 --> 00:05:48,567
Sure, he made a mistake,
but he was a good person."
156
00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:52,237
See you around.
157
00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:57,367
Maybe I'm too hard on him.
158
00:05:58,907 --> 00:06:00,407
Who's paying for this?
159
00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:11,836
Wow.
160
00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:13,146
You look... wow.
161
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:17,146
I'm going straight to
Bjornberg's reading after work.
162
00:06:17,226 --> 00:06:19,146
- Come with me.
- I can't.
163
00:06:19,236 --> 00:06:20,486
I'm seeing Josh tonight.
164
00:06:20,566 --> 00:06:22,596
Oh, my God, I checked out his Instagram.
165
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:25,236
He is, like, disturbingly hot.
166
00:06:25,356 --> 00:06:27,486
Are you two still busy
braiding friendship bracelets,
167
00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:28,936
or are you ready to come back to work?
168
00:06:29,026 --> 00:06:29,996
Uh...
169
00:06:30,076 --> 00:06:31,196
We were actually just discussing what...
170
00:06:31,276 --> 00:06:33,666
Shh. Did you hear that?
171
00:06:33,746 --> 00:06:36,946
Hear what?
172
00:06:39,336 --> 00:06:41,206
Excuse me.
173
00:06:47,676 --> 00:06:48,926
Is everything okay?
174
00:06:49,046 --> 00:06:49,966
I got a hit. Look.
175
00:06:52,596 --> 00:06:54,466
Ooh, he's handsome.
176
00:06:54,556 --> 00:06:58,266
And he's a tenured professor
at Columbia Medical School.
177
00:06:58,386 --> 00:07:00,436
He likes rock climbing; his
Australian shepherd, Ben;
178
00:07:00,556 --> 00:07:01,636
and Sundays at The Frick.
179
00:07:01,726 --> 00:07:03,196
- You love The Frick.
- I love The Frick.
180
00:07:03,276 --> 00:07:04,556
He writes, "I see from your profile
181
00:07:04,696 --> 00:07:05,806
"that you are a member
182
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,396
"of the East Side Chamber Music Society.
183
00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:09,476
"I am a member of the West
Side Chamber Music Society.
184
00:07:09,566 --> 00:07:11,196
Could we ever bridge this bitter rivalry?"
185
00:07:11,286 --> 00:07:12,236
Adorable.
186
00:07:12,316 --> 00:07:13,406
Stop cheerleading and help me.
187
00:07:13,486 --> 00:07:14,566
What should I write back?
188
00:07:14,656 --> 00:07:19,486
How about, "Some rivalries are fated.
189
00:07:19,576 --> 00:07:21,826
"Two households, both alike in dignity,
190
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:22,996
in fair Verona."
191
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,296
Shakespeare?
192
00:07:24,416 --> 00:07:25,916
Won't that make me sound a tad musty?
193
00:07:25,996 --> 00:07:27,586
Well, he's into museums and chamber music.
194
00:07:27,716 --> 00:07:29,216
I think Shakespeare's a safe bet.
195
00:07:29,306 --> 00:07:30,806
Okay, press "send."
196
00:07:33,256 --> 00:07:35,256
You always hope there's
someone like this out there.
197
00:07:35,396 --> 00:07:36,726
I know what you mean.
198
00:07:36,806 --> 00:07:38,506
No, you don't. You're 26 years old.
199
00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:40,096
You have no idea what it's like out there
200
00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:41,426
for a woman my age.
201
00:07:41,566 --> 00:07:42,516
It's a tundra.
202
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,396
Oh!
203
00:07:45,486 --> 00:07:47,316
"Quoting the bard. How intriguing.
204
00:07:47,436 --> 00:07:49,606
Normally, this website is so fatiguing."
205
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,106
He's rhyming. Rhyme back.
206
00:07:51,196 --> 00:07:52,486
Oh, okay. Uh...
207
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:55,576
"The bard isn't hard to quote by memory.
208
00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:59,116
How did you enjoy your
college years at Emory?"
209
00:07:59,196 --> 00:08:00,696
Finally, something you're good at.
210
00:08:00,786 --> 00:08:01,996
I'll take that as a "thank you."
211
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:03,416
Oh.
212
00:08:03,506 --> 00:08:05,166
"Those times were fun. There's much to tell.
213
00:08:05,286 --> 00:08:06,876
Let's continue this chat IRL."
214
00:08:06,956 --> 00:08:08,126
Where's IRL?
215
00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:09,456
Is that Long Island City? Queens?
216
00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:10,926
It stands for "in real life."
217
00:08:11,006 --> 00:08:12,096
Ah. Yes, yes, yes!
218
00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:13,426
Type "yes." Yes. Yes!
219
00:08:15,966 --> 00:08:17,466
He's won countless awards,
220
00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:22,216
including this year's Swedish
Literary Society's Grand Prize.
221
00:08:22,306 --> 00:08:25,436
He's quite simply a national treasure.
222
00:08:25,526 --> 00:08:30,226
Please welcome the
incomparable Anton Bjornberg.
223
00:08:32,396 --> 00:08:34,036
Thank you.
224
00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:45,906
The reading's in Swedish?
225
00:08:45,996 --> 00:08:47,416
Shh!
226
00:09:01,596 --> 00:09:03,476
Well, to first times.
227
00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,096
Okay.
228
00:09:06,566 --> 00:09:08,436
Sorry, I'm just a little nervous.
229
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:09,766
I love that about you.
230
00:09:09,856 --> 00:09:11,266
What, my nervousness?
231
00:09:11,356 --> 00:09:13,436
No, no, your... Your honesty.
232
00:09:13,526 --> 00:09:15,826
And also the way your right eyebrow's
233
00:09:15,906 --> 00:09:19,196
always just a little bit
higher than your left one.
234
00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,076
Makes you always seem a little amused.
235
00:09:21,196 --> 00:09:22,366
Well, you're amusing.
236
00:09:22,446 --> 00:09:26,036
Well, what exactly makes me so amusing?
237
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,956
You know, you're this...
238
00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:31,536
cool, sexy tattoo artist guy.
239
00:09:31,626 --> 00:09:35,596
And you're this cool,
sexy book publishing girl.
240
00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:36,966
You pay attention.
241
00:09:37,046 --> 00:09:38,516
I do pay attention.
242
00:09:39,936 --> 00:09:43,186
And for certain people,
I lavish my attention.
243
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:44,886
Lavish?
244
00:09:44,976 --> 00:09:46,776
Yeah, lavish.
245
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,936
Josh.
246
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,646
Hey. How are you?
247
00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:51,856
I'm good.
248
00:09:51,946 --> 00:09:53,526
Look how great the new tattoo healed.
249
00:09:53,616 --> 00:09:55,276
Oh, sick.
250
00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,036
Yeah, that line turned out great.
251
00:09:57,116 --> 00:09:59,866
Liza, this is Dacia.
252
00:09:59,956 --> 00:10:01,206
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
253
00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:02,786
It's a great... line.
254
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:03,826
Thanks.
255
00:10:03,906 --> 00:10:04,826
Dacia, is this Josh?
256
00:10:04,906 --> 00:10:05,876
Oh, yeah.
257
00:10:05,956 --> 00:10:07,406
You have to do me too.
258
00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:09,326
I was thinking of a Smith & Wesson revolver,
259
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:11,216
like, right here.
260
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:12,746
Yeah, yeah, that's hot.
261
00:10:12,886 --> 00:10:13,966
I know, right?
262
00:10:14,086 --> 00:10:15,586
We should go to your studio
263
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,556
and do it right now.
264
00:10:17,636 --> 00:10:18,916
Yes.
265
00:10:19,006 --> 00:10:21,886
Uh, I... I should probably get going anyways.
266
00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:23,646
What? Why?
267
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,646
Well, you've got work to do.
268
00:10:25,766 --> 00:10:27,566
Hey, hey.
269
00:10:27,646 --> 00:10:30,686
I want to be here with you, all right?
270
00:10:30,766 --> 00:10:32,146
And when we get home,
271
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:35,156
the only thing that I want to work on
272
00:10:35,276 --> 00:10:37,606
is your hot little...
273
00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:08,634
Excuse me.
274
00:11:08,774 --> 00:11:10,224
Some people from the Finnish consulate
275
00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:11,724
are getting pretty rowdy at the bar.
276
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,104
The Finns are here?
277
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,104
Mm.
278
00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:15,604
Pardon me.
279
00:11:15,694 --> 00:11:17,814
Are there really Finns at the bar?
280
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,984
No. I just got creative.
281
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,734
Well, that certainly worked.
282
00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:23,984
Kelsey Peters.
283
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,314
I'm an editor at Empirical.
284
00:11:25,404 --> 00:11:26,824
Hey, Anton.
285
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,454
Sorry, I don't speak Swedish.
286
00:11:29,544 --> 00:11:32,244
- You don't?
- No.
287
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,414
Then why are you at a Swedish reading?
288
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,384
Well, I read a translation
of your book, In Galleries.
289
00:11:37,504 --> 00:11:38,914
I'm a huge fan.
290
00:11:39,004 --> 00:11:40,334
I think you're a genius.
291
00:11:40,414 --> 00:11:42,164
I want to sign you.
292
00:11:42,254 --> 00:11:44,174
Oh. That's quite forward.
293
00:11:44,254 --> 00:11:47,304
I just need five minutes of your time.
294
00:11:47,394 --> 00:11:50,014
You know what, Kelsey Peters?
295
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,314
Let's get out of here.
296
00:11:52,394 --> 00:11:53,844
Let's go and have a drink
297
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:56,764
somewhere with fewer rowdy Finns.
298
00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:58,354
Great.
299
00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:13,034
What's so funny?
300
00:12:13,164 --> 00:12:14,864
Nothing. It's just...
301
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:18,254
Wait. I'm sorry. I'm just a little ticklish.
302
00:12:18,374 --> 00:12:20,594
You just need to relax a little bit.
303
00:12:20,714 --> 00:12:22,044
Yes, you're right.
304
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:24,674
I do. I do. I need to relax.
305
00:12:24,764 --> 00:12:26,294
Can I use your bathroom?
306
00:12:26,384 --> 00:12:27,544
Unrelated to relaxing.
307
00:12:27,634 --> 00:12:29,554
I plan to relax elsewhere
other than the bathroom.
308
00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:30,554
First door on your right.
309
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:31,554
Thank you.
310
00:12:38,694 --> 00:12:40,064
Okay.
311
00:12:41,814 --> 00:12:43,784
Just relax.
312
00:13:15,434 --> 00:13:17,434
Oh, my lord.
313
00:13:17,514 --> 00:13:21,434
Is that a Zahara stingray
and cobra Judith Leiber bag?
314
00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:22,774
Yes, it is.
315
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:25,104
I thought so. Look at the onyx stone inlay.
316
00:13:25,194 --> 00:13:26,244
It's extraordinary.
317
00:13:26,324 --> 00:13:28,744
You know a lot about purses.
318
00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:30,364
Oh, I'm a huge Leiber fan.
319
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:31,574
I have a YouTube channel.
320
00:13:31,664 --> 00:13:33,034
So far, I've reviewed 38 bags,
321
00:13:33,114 --> 00:13:35,744
but I've never seen a
Zahara stingray and cobra.
322
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,414
If I were you, I'd keep it in a museum case.
323
00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:39,834
No, no, fashion is for enjoyment.
324
00:13:39,954 --> 00:13:41,424
I plan on taking it everywhere with me,
325
00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:44,344
to galleries and restaurants and...
326
00:13:44,464 --> 00:13:45,344
The Frick.
327
00:13:46,674 --> 00:13:48,014
How do you know I go to...
328
00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:51,134
Oh, shit.
329
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:53,554
You're the Columbia professor?
330
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:55,434
I'm sorry, okay?
331
00:13:55,524 --> 00:13:57,554
I just really wanted to see the bag.
332
00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:59,694
Someone like you would
never agree to meet me.
333
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,304
What do you mean, someone like me?
334
00:14:01,394 --> 00:14:03,274
Well, you're this high-powered executive,
335
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:04,944
and you've got such fierce style,
336
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:06,444
and you're so cultured,
337
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:07,814
and you have this amazing life.
338
00:14:07,954 --> 00:14:09,314
That's what you think of me?
339
00:14:09,404 --> 00:14:12,824
It's not what I think; it's
just the straight-up truth.
340
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,404
Well, it's not so great. Believe me.
341
00:14:16,494 --> 00:14:18,324
Well, I bet you don't get beat up at school.
342
00:14:18,414 --> 00:14:20,624
And people don't call you
"Little Miss Bag Fag."
343
00:14:23,714 --> 00:14:25,294
Sit down. What are you drinking?
344
00:14:25,384 --> 00:14:27,504
Grey Goose martini, two olives.
345
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,584
Club soda with a splash of grenadine.
346
00:14:30,674 --> 00:14:31,924
Excellent choice.
347
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,004
Now, if you are very, very gentle...
348
00:14:36,224 --> 00:14:37,594
You may hold it.
349
00:14:39,594 --> 00:14:41,394
Would you like me to take
a picture of you with it?
350
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,984
God, yes.
351
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,524
Smile pretty.
352
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:48,734
Well, that's the one.
353
00:14:51,364 --> 00:14:53,524
I know I don't have as much experience
354
00:14:53,614 --> 00:14:55,024
as an older editor
355
00:14:55,164 --> 00:14:56,864
and I don't have a roster
full of heavyweights,
356
00:14:56,994 --> 00:14:58,414
but that's also my strength.
357
00:14:58,534 --> 00:15:01,164
I have the time. I have the energy.
358
00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:03,784
I am wild about your book.
359
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:06,044
So what do you think the book is about?
360
00:15:06,124 --> 00:15:08,044
I've thought about that a lot.
361
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,344
Mm-hmm.
362
00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:11,514
I think the book is about indignity.
363
00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:14,634
We start life getting our ass wiped.
364
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,684
We end life getting our ass wiped.
365
00:15:16,764 --> 00:15:18,514
And in between, we're just chasing money.
366
00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:20,774
And here I thought I was writing a book
367
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:22,104
about my miserable childhood.
368
00:15:22,224 --> 00:15:24,524
But I like the way you see it.
369
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:25,774
Really.
370
00:15:25,894 --> 00:15:29,394
So will you come in Monday
morning for a meeting
371
00:15:29,484 --> 00:15:31,444
and meet the rest of the team?
372
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,954
Oh, that's very American.
373
00:15:34,074 --> 00:15:35,564
Already closing the deal.
374
00:15:37,624 --> 00:15:39,284
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be pushy.
375
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:40,994
I'm just... I'm excited.
376
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,374
I'm excited too.
377
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,124
Good.
378
00:15:50,664 --> 00:15:52,334
It's my boyfriend.
379
00:15:52,424 --> 00:15:54,884
It's my wife.
380
00:15:54,974 --> 00:15:58,144
Hey.
381
00:16:05,514 --> 00:16:07,514
I love this song.
382
00:16:07,604 --> 00:16:09,604
What year was this?
383
00:16:09,684 --> 00:16:11,104
1981, I think?
384
00:16:11,194 --> 00:16:14,774
Oh, wow, 1981.
385
00:16:14,864 --> 00:16:16,694
When I wasn't even born.
386
00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,324
What?
387
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,324
What?
388
00:16:19,444 --> 00:16:21,494
Wait.
389
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,954
I love that you listen to old record albums.
390
00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:25,864
Yeah.
391
00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:29,454
I love vinyl. It's the best.
392
00:16:29,544 --> 00:16:32,294
Do you love it love it, or
do you love it ironically?
393
00:16:32,374 --> 00:16:35,794
For real. I love it.
394
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:38,094
I love all types of old stuff.
395
00:16:46,554 --> 00:16:47,524
I'm gonna try again.
396
00:16:47,644 --> 00:16:49,724
You are a little bit drunk.
397
00:16:49,814 --> 00:16:50,814
No.
398
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,224
It's okay.
399
00:16:52,314 --> 00:16:53,564
I'm gonna go make you some coffee.
400
00:16:53,644 --> 00:16:54,864
I'm not drunk.
401
00:16:54,984 --> 00:16:56,654
No, I'm not drunk. I'm not.
402
00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:58,284
I'm just chillaxin'.
403
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:26,920
It was so embarrassing.
404
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,790
I completely passed out.
405
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,630
Then I snuck out this
morning before he woke up.
406
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:33,550
You realize you roofied yourself.
407
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,770
Maggie, I don't think I can
actually get back on the horse
408
00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:37,020
with such a young guy.
409
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,190
Of course you can.
410
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:40,770
Listen to me.
411
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,390
Your vagina just needs a pep talk.
412
00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:43,720
Excuse me?
413
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,610
Frida, now, I know you've only been
414
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,030
with one penis in the past 20 years.
415
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:48,400
22 years.
416
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,980
I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Frida.
417
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,320
- That was Frida.
- That was Frida?
418
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,900
Come on. She needs, like,
an accent or something.
419
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,070
- Iz thiz bedder?
- If she's a Persian dude.
420
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:56,400
Anyway, the point is,
421
00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:59,490
there is this unbelievably exciting
422
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,410
sexual world out there that
you've been missing out on.
423
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,000
It's time to come out, girl, okay?
424
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,130
Uh...
425
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,160
Uh, I can come back.
426
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,500
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no, it's okay.
427
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,300
- Come on in, Trent.
- Okay.
428
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,800
So I took a look in the truck.
429
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,970
I can give you $2,500 for all of it.
430
00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:16,310
$2,500?
431
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,560
Uh, maybe you didn't see it all.
432
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,010
Here. No, show him.
433
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,180
I have photos here from
when the house was staged.
434
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:22,600
Everything is in great condition.
435
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,900
We only had one girl,
436
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,650
so we were actually able to have nice things,
437
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:27,100
unlike the boy families.
438
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190
See this chair? It's a Stickley.
439
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,070
And the dinette, this was my mom's,
440
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,160
and it's genuine cherry.
441
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:32,860
Look, lady, I get it.
442
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,160
I saw it.
443
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,410
It's worth a couple grand.
444
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,940
I know the market here.
445
00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:39,280
But it took me forever
to collect these things.
446
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:40,830
I mean, I know some of it's sentimental,
447
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:42,370
but it's got to be worth more than that,
448
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:43,580
even as firewood.
449
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,840
Okay, 3 grand. Final offer.
450
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,460
You're not gonna do better.
451
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,010
Wow.
452
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:50,840
You know what? Let's go.
453
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,630
- Where?
- Brooklyn.
454
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,210
- Brooklyn?
- Yeah, Brooklyn.
455
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,010
Everybody's moving to Brooklyn.
456
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:02,640
It's so normcore.
457
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,810
So normcore, totally suburban.
458
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:05,970
It's perfect.
459
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,860
Enjoy it!
460
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:08,980
We're cleaning up.
461
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:10,440
See, this stuff's not worthless.
462
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:11,480
Brooklyn loves you.
463
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,320
Oh, my God, look at this.
464
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,150
Ooh, this guy's really into you.
465
00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:20,650
I know.
466
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:22,460
That's why I got to tell him the truth.
467
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:23,620
It's only a number.
468
00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:24,660
But it's a big one.
469
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,460
You'll be fine. Go.
470
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,830
Frida deserves this.
471
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:33,580
See ya.
472
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,140
Josh, I know that you think
that we're the same age,
473
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,980
but, actually, I'm four... teen.
474
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,640
That's right; I'm a minor,
and you're under arrest.
475
00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:48,600
Did you know Cameron Diaz is 40?
476
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,070
She's not gross, right?
477
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:07,500
- Hi.
- Hi.
478
00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:09,700
I am so sorry I passed out last night.
479
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:12,870
I was just really nervous, 'cause...
480
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:15,380
There's something that I need to tell you.
481
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,890
Never mind.
482
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:29,490
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