All language subtitles for Wrecked s02e05 Free.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,770 --> 00:00:03,412 Previously on "Wrecked"... 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,225 You'll come by my tent every night. 3 00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:06,499 What's in it for me? 4 00:00:06,524 --> 00:00:08,694 I'm kidding. Obviously, sex, isn't it? 5 00:00:08,719 --> 00:00:11,561 Oh, and I'm pregnant. And you're the father. 6 00:00:11,586 --> 00:00:13,373 Obviously, there's no way that she's pregnant. 7 00:00:13,398 --> 00:00:14,656 Okay. What do you need me to do? 8 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,353 Just one more big push, Rosa. 9 00:00:16,378 --> 00:00:17,577 - Okay. - You can do it. 10 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:18,868 Oh, my! 11 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,240 It's a baby! 12 00:00:20,265 --> 00:00:21,437 Bye. 13 00:00:23,286 --> 00:00:25,514 - Oh, my goodness! - Oh! 14 00:00:25,539 --> 00:00:27,242 - We did it! - Oh, my God! 15 00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,600 Oh! 16 00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:32,461 You did it. 17 00:00:32,486 --> 00:00:35,156 Okay, you're a good doctor, Dr. Florence. 18 00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:36,915 No, I'm not. 19 00:00:37,358 --> 00:00:38,883 I'm a bad doctor. 20 00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:42,266 - What? - I'm a naughty doctor. 21 00:00:43,995 --> 00:00:46,352 What are you gonna do about it? 22 00:00:46,376 --> 00:00:48,359 - What do I want to do about it? - Yeah. 23 00:00:55,585 --> 00:00:56,817 Ahh! 24 00:00:56,842 --> 00:00:58,500 Jesus, Karen! 25 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,436 The pirates returned our luggage. 26 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,525 Also, you have a boner. 27 00:01:04,486 --> 00:01:05,749 Come on! 28 00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:09,961 Well, all my jewelry's gone, 29 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,086 but it's not a total bust, 30 00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:14,156 because they left me with... a single Q-tip. 31 00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:15,687 Oh, God damn it! 32 00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:17,391 The cut all the nipples out of my shirts! 33 00:01:18,071 --> 00:01:19,617 Hey, I cut the titties out! 34 00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:22,249 What's up, dawg? 35 00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:23,998 I mean, I think that's a good look. 36 00:01:24,023 --> 00:01:25,222 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 37 00:01:25,247 --> 00:01:26,516 You think that this is a good look. 38 00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:28,207 Oh, yeah. You could pull that off. 39 00:01:28,232 --> 00:01:29,492 I'm glad they stole your jewelry. 40 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,706 What is happening over there? 41 00:01:31,731 --> 00:01:32,874 Are they flirting? 42 00:01:32,899 --> 00:01:34,492 What the hell... Mario? 43 00:01:34,517 --> 00:01:36,078 It's gonna be painful. Mm-hmm. 44 00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:38,421 Aw, pbht! Check me, I'll figure it out. 45 00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,514 Hey! 46 00:01:39,539 --> 00:01:40,789 Hey! 47 00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:42,500 Are you friends flirting? 48 00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:44,061 - What?! - What?! 49 00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:45,703 - Flirting... - We're not flirting. 50 00:01:45,728 --> 00:01:47,429 - We're talking. - Oh, my God. You're flirting! 51 00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:50,961 Oh. Turns out I was flirting. 52 00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:53,055 Oh, what? 53 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,967 Yes! 54 00:01:54,992 --> 00:01:56,430 Babe, they didn't take 55 00:01:56,455 --> 00:01:58,421 my Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands. 56 00:01:58,593 --> 00:01:59,844 Suckers were sitting on a gold mine, 57 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,168 didn't even know it. 58 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,679 I don't get it. 59 00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:05,133 Why would they give us our stuff back now? 60 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:08,610 - Who cares? - They must be leaving. 61 00:02:08,634 --> 00:02:10,595 Good riddance. Pirate rule is horse shit. 62 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:13,154 Todd, these pirates are our last chance to get off the island. 63 00:02:13,179 --> 00:02:15,713 If that boat leaves, we die here. 64 00:02:15,888 --> 00:02:17,888 But I don't want to die here. 65 00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:19,602 I want to die in Scottsdale. 66 00:02:19,627 --> 00:02:20,469 We all do. 67 00:02:20,494 --> 00:02:21,986 That's why we got to get on that boat. 68 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,935 How? We got nothing to offer. 69 00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:27,003 Th-There is one thing. 70 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,272 I don't know. I really like these sweatbands. 71 00:02:32,297 --> 00:02:34,022 I got to bang one of these pirates. 72 00:02:34,047 --> 00:02:34,843 What?! 73 00:02:34,868 --> 00:02:37,850 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 74 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,858 There is no way I'm gonna let one of these scum sacks 75 00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:43,160 anywhere near your smokin'-hot boobies and butt. 76 00:02:43,185 --> 00:02:44,522 Okay, you think I want to do this? 77 00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,266 - Yeah. - This is the only way. 78 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,092 In exchange for sex, we ask for two spots on the ship. 79 00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,241 It's a classic 80 00:02:50,265 --> 00:02:52,709 - reverse indecent proposal. - Reverse indecent proposal. 81 00:02:52,734 --> 00:02:54,022 - Exactly. - Hell, no. 82 00:02:54,047 --> 00:02:55,880 No, no, no, no, no, no, hell, no. 83 00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,514 I just made peace with you and Chet. 84 00:02:57,539 --> 00:03:01,069 I don't think I could handle you boning down with a pirate. 85 00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:03,431 Plus, what makes you think one of these pud-knockers 86 00:03:03,456 --> 00:03:04,893 would even go for it? 87 00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,061 Well, Tank Top's been flirting with me. 88 00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:07,794 What!? 89 00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:10,303 Yeah. He's, like, totally into me. It's so obvious. Come on. 90 00:03:10,328 --> 00:03:12,645 All I'm saying is that if we offer, 91 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,772 I know he'll say yes. 92 00:03:13,797 --> 00:03:16,202 Except he won't be able to, 'cause I'm gonna murder him by killing him. 93 00:03:16,227 --> 00:03:17,772 - Oh, my God. Todd, listen to me. - Do this. 94 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:18,647 Look. 95 00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:20,521 This is about saving our lives. 96 00:03:20,546 --> 00:03:25,015 And besides, a wiener just a wiener. 97 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,310 - Okay? - Don't cheek-stroke me. 98 00:03:26,342 --> 00:03:27,998 - You know I hate that. - Listen to me. 99 00:03:28,023 --> 00:03:30,631 I am your babe, and your babe only. 100 00:03:30,656 --> 00:03:32,209 No matter what. 101 00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:33,984 Fine. 102 00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:35,373 But you have to wear like 10 condoms. 103 00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:36,584 That's not how condoms work. 104 00:03:36,609 --> 00:03:38,084 And you have to wrap a shirt around it. 105 00:03:38,109 --> 00:03:38,743 No! 106 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:40,920 Oh, whew! 107 00:03:42,992 --> 00:03:45,756 I bet your dead husband never gave it to you like that. 108 00:03:45,781 --> 00:03:47,982 He sure didn't. 109 00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:49,887 But it'll do. 110 00:03:50,944 --> 00:03:52,384 So, I've been, uh, 111 00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:54,275 I've been thinking a little bit about us. 112 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,736 I have things to do. 113 00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:58,272 Things to do! 114 00:03:58,391 --> 00:04:00,657 It's a Monday, isn't it? 115 00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:04,075 You know, you act all tough. 116 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:07,420 But I think inside, you're actually very tender. 117 00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,131 I'm not. 118 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,817 Now, if you let me in, 119 00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:13,881 I bet old Steve could... 120 00:04:13,906 --> 00:04:16,039 The Barracuda. Oh, shit. 121 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,975 Uh, the buyer came through. 122 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,505 Hello, V-Neck. The buyer's come through? 123 00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,521 Who's the buyer? 124 00:04:21,546 --> 00:04:22,616 Can you get out? 125 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:23,655 What about our conversation? 126 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,725 - Now! - All right! 127 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,178 - 'Sup, dude? - Hey. 128 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,904 Working hard or hardly working, right? 129 00:04:33,915 --> 00:04:34,999 Working hard. 130 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,984 - Very cool. - Mm. 131 00:04:37,147 --> 00:04:39,125 So, it looks like you dawgs 132 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:40,687 are tearin' out of here soon, huh? 133 00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:41,820 Yeah, sucks! 134 00:04:41,845 --> 00:04:44,412 Feels like we barely got to know each other. 135 00:04:44,437 --> 00:04:46,350 Okay. What's going on? 136 00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,164 'Cause I've got a lot of sorting to do, 137 00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:50,039 and I need this interaction to be over. 138 00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:51,615 Well, we were just saying that, you know, 139 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,748 it would be so great 140 00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:54,406 if we could just go on that boat with you 141 00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:55,101 and just, like, 142 00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:57,756 really, you know, get to know each other. 143 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,175 Yeah. Not gonna happen. 144 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,287 Okay. 145 00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:06,172 Well, what if I have sex with you? 146 00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:15,626 Reverse indecent proposal. 147 00:05:15,699 --> 00:05:17,699 That's a bold move. 148 00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:19,486 That's a risky move. 149 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,346 What makes you think I'd be interested? 150 00:05:22,134 --> 00:05:24,226 Well, I mean, you've been flirting with me 151 00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:26,429 - for weeks, so... - No, I haven't. 152 00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:28,959 - Oh! Busted! - No. 153 00:05:28,984 --> 00:05:30,187 Oh, my God. 154 00:05:30,212 --> 00:05:31,499 She thinks everyone is flirting with her. 155 00:05:31,524 --> 00:05:33,757 - No, I don't! - Uh, yeah, you do. 156 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,211 My friend Chuck, Tony Touch, 157 00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:37,412 Bake Show, Gawler, my boy O-Ring... 158 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,601 Okay, O-Ring literally proposed to me. 159 00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:40,492 - So, that's... - So have I! 160 00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:41,500 That literally means nothing! 161 00:05:41,525 --> 00:05:44,353 Shh! Keep it... hey! Keep your voices down. 162 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,764 So, you know what? I am interested, but... 163 00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:48,914 I want something different. 164 00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:54,219 I'm talkin' about a reverse reverse indecent proposal. 165 00:05:54,828 --> 00:05:57,429 So, a... decent proposal? 166 00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:59,788 See, it turns out, um... 167 00:06:00,072 --> 00:06:01,971 I'm quite bi-curious. 168 00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,572 - Oh! - Oh, no. 169 00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:06,484 So yeah, I think I can get you on that boat, 170 00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:09,328 but, uh, I'm gonna want to do both of you. 171 00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:11,500 Together. 172 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,678 This dude's crazy. 173 00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:22,013 He's playing mind games with us. 174 00:06:22,038 --> 00:06:23,237 What are you talking about? 175 00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:24,920 You've always wanted to have a threesome. 176 00:06:24,945 --> 00:06:26,992 I've always wanted to have a threesome with another girl. 177 00:06:27,017 --> 00:06:29,341 Four boobies, one dong... the way God intended. 178 00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:30,297 Read the Bible! 179 00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:33,210 Uh, why can't it be two boobs and two dongs, huh? 180 00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,195 What? The hell kind of math is that? 181 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,429 - Are you serious? - Oh, my God. 182 00:06:36,454 --> 00:06:38,781 Todd, are you really not gonna do this? 183 00:06:38,813 --> 00:06:41,101 I just... I think that we should go back to the OG plan 184 00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,792 and tell him that it's you and you alone. 185 00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:45,031 10 minutes ago, you didn't want me to do that at all! 186 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:47,069 Babe, it's like you said... a wiener's a wiener. 187 00:06:47,094 --> 00:06:48,695 Oh, my God. And a butt's a butt. 188 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,882 So you man up, 189 00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:52,121 and you [bleep] that pirate with me. 190 00:06:52,477 --> 00:06:54,023 Jess, come on. 191 00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:55,548 Hey! 192 00:06:55,684 --> 00:06:58,685 This reverse reverse indecent proposal 193 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,124 is tearing us apart! 194 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,037 So weird how everyone was teasing us 195 00:07:05,062 --> 00:07:07,225 about that we were flirting. 196 00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:08,453 It's like, "What?" 197 00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:09,953 - What? - Right? 198 00:07:10,553 --> 00:07:12,554 We're all stuck on this island together. 199 00:07:12,579 --> 00:07:15,093 It's not like we're gonna start hooking up 200 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,711 and, like, in the bushes, 201 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,569 just going down on each other. 202 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,331 That's exactly what... why I thought it was so funny. 203 00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:22,856 - It's insane. - Florence! 204 00:07:22,881 --> 00:07:25,181 Can I have a word with you, just the two of us? 205 00:07:26,635 --> 00:07:28,507 Yeah, just... just you and I? 206 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:29,964 Um... 207 00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:32,785 Okay. 208 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,176 Well, uh, hypothetically, 209 00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:36,101 if you were in a relationship with someone... 210 00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,219 - Hmm. - and you wanted 211 00:07:37,243 --> 00:07:39,812 - to take it to the next level... - Oh. 212 00:07:39,837 --> 00:07:41,403 what would you do? 213 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,053 How well do you know each other? 214 00:07:43,078 --> 00:07:45,975 Well, let's just say we're... having sex. 215 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,742 You really expect us to believe that someone on this island 216 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,499 who has met you is having sex with you? 217 00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:54,222 Yes, Owen, because it's true! 218 00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,804 I can't hold it in! We're doing it! 219 00:07:57,829 --> 00:07:59,406 - Doggy-style... - All right. 220 00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:00,630 - Oh! - wheelbarrow, 221 00:08:00,655 --> 00:08:02,359 upside-down, how's your father... 222 00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:03,109 Mm. Oh, wow. 223 00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:06,086 so sexually, it's, uh, pretty good. 224 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,148 Oh, it sounds like it. 225 00:08:07,173 --> 00:08:09,405 I just need some advice on the emotional front. 226 00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:10,382 Okay. 227 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,951 Steve, whoever this is or isn't... 228 00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:14,554 - Oh, it is. - Sure. 229 00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,523 She probably just wants you to... 230 00:08:16,548 --> 00:08:18,728 tell her how you feel... 231 00:08:19,062 --> 00:08:21,127 so she can know if the vibe is real. 232 00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:24,888 What is that? Is that, like, a song lyric? 233 00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:26,787 No, Steve. Okay? 234 00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,827 Just, I don't know, take her on a date. 235 00:08:28,852 --> 00:08:30,819 Oh, a date. Of course. 236 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,343 - Yeah. - Like a picnic. 237 00:08:32,368 --> 00:08:34,320 Sure, yeah. That's cute. 238 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:35,745 Thank you, Florence. 239 00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:38,810 And Owen, a bit rude standing there, 240 00:08:38,835 --> 00:08:40,523 just listening to our conversation. 241 00:08:40,548 --> 00:08:42,218 - Oh, I apologize. - Thank you. 242 00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:44,036 - Okay. - A bit rude. 243 00:08:44,061 --> 00:08:47,709 Stupid Todd with his stupid penis! 244 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,491 I mean, why can't he just have a threesome? 245 00:08:49,516 --> 00:08:51,865 What is the worst that could happen? 246 00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:57,943 Whoa! 247 00:08:57,968 --> 00:08:59,273 Hell, yeah. 248 00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:00,498 Some ponging. 249 00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,601 That thing... that's hilarious. 250 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,421 Yeah, I thought we could chill a little bit 251 00:09:04,446 --> 00:09:05,813 before we get to humping. 252 00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,554 Brews in the fridge, you guys. Help yourselves. 253 00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:08,710 Sick. 254 00:09:08,736 --> 00:09:11,036 Lovin' the jam-band tunes. 255 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,898 Wait, are those... 256 00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:14,789 Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands? 257 00:09:14,813 --> 00:09:15,750 Of course. 258 00:09:15,775 --> 00:09:17,648 I don't hit the links without 'em. 259 00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:19,593 - You play golf? - You bet. 260 00:09:19,618 --> 00:09:21,385 I'm still working on my scratch game. I'm a... 261 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,406 - Eight handicap. - Eight handicap. 262 00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:31,280 What are we doing? 263 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,785 Jess, you can go. 264 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,370 I'm gay now. 265 00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:39,761 What? 266 00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:41,589 I don't love you. 267 00:09:43,173 --> 00:09:45,757 I love you. 268 00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:47,462 I know this is quick, but... 269 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,546 will you gay marry me? 270 00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,842 You gay bet I will. 271 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,449 Oh, God. 272 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,219 We can't do it. 273 00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:03,937 He'll fall in love. 274 00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:07,616 The hell's her problem? 275 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,546 I got to bang some dude? 276 00:10:12,406 --> 00:10:15,240 Why can't she just do it solo? 277 00:10:19,382 --> 00:10:20,581 Wow. 278 00:10:22,632 --> 00:10:25,070 - This is so... - Romantic? 279 00:10:26,274 --> 00:10:27,976 You deserve it. 280 00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,687 See anything you like? 281 00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:36,890 No. 282 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:38,368 What? 283 00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:40,842 That's tiny. Todd has a way bigger dong. 284 00:10:40,844 --> 00:10:43,172 What if I just go down on you for like a few hours? 285 00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:44,696 Eh, no way. Hate that stuff. 286 00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:46,280 Well, your boyfriend already turned me down, 287 00:10:46,305 --> 00:10:47,601 and if you don't have sex with me, 288 00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:48,875 I'll kill both of you. 289 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,094 I don't care. 290 00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:52,118 I want Todd and Todd only. 291 00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:54,031 Even if it kills us. 292 00:10:54,056 --> 00:10:55,194 Aah! 293 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,991 I am... furious! 294 00:10:57,383 --> 00:11:00,452 I will kill everyone! 295 00:11:02,861 --> 00:11:04,060 Oh, God. 296 00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:06,062 I've got to be there. 297 00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:08,468 She loves me too much. 298 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,126 Todd! 299 00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:12,898 Todd! 300 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,675 Jess! 301 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:16,395 Todd! 302 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,218 You were right. We can't have a threesome. 303 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,998 No, you were right. 304 00:11:22,023 --> 00:11:23,789 We have to have a threesome. 305 00:11:23,814 --> 00:11:25,343 I let you go in there alone, 306 00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,601 you'll get us both killed. 307 00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:29,593 - Wait, what? - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 308 00:11:29,626 --> 00:11:31,539 Let's go bang a pirate. 309 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,453 Where are you taking me? 310 00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,289 I thought you said there was an emergency. 311 00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:39,969 It's a picnic emergency. 312 00:11:40,023 --> 00:11:42,109 I don't have time for this right now, Steve. 313 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,333 I'm very busy. 314 00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:44,788 Five minutes. 315 00:11:45,202 --> 00:11:46,935 Maybe seven. 316 00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:50,434 Okay. 317 00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:54,826 So, unfortunately, 318 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,211 I don't have any real picnic food 319 00:11:57,236 --> 00:11:59,531 because we're stuck on a deserted island. 320 00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:03,999 So you wrote the word "cheese" on a rock? 321 00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:06,742 Fancy some wine? 322 00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:10,000 All right. Let's do this. 323 00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:11,406 Take your pants off. 324 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:15,530 Uh, actually, um, I brought you here 325 00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:18,238 because I want us to talk. 326 00:12:18,317 --> 00:12:20,918 Um, get to know each other. 327 00:12:20,943 --> 00:12:22,077 I'll go first. 328 00:12:22,102 --> 00:12:23,656 So, something you don't know about me 329 00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:25,347 is I used to be married. 330 00:12:25,598 --> 00:12:27,031 Okay? 331 00:12:27,056 --> 00:12:29,906 And my ex... she cheated on me. 332 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:31,531 She used me. 333 00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,755 And I swore I would never let it happen again, 334 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:37,406 no matter how pipin' hot the sex was. 335 00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:39,384 You don't want to have sex anymore. 336 00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:41,343 No, no! That's not it! 337 00:12:41,368 --> 00:12:42,516 Please. 338 00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,789 I'm just trying to get you to let me in. 339 00:12:44,814 --> 00:12:46,132 I know that deep down, 340 00:12:46,157 --> 00:12:49,429 underneath that cool, tough pirate-girl image, 341 00:12:49,613 --> 00:12:51,112 you're a nice person. 342 00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:55,275 You don't give up, do you, Steve? 343 00:12:56,587 --> 00:12:58,086 The Barracuda! 344 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,748 Aah, V-Neck! 345 00:12:59,773 --> 00:13:01,707 Have you heard of knocking? 346 00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,700 Where am I supposed to knock, Steve? 347 00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:04,929 What is it? 348 00:13:04,954 --> 00:13:06,661 The deal's ready to be finalized. 349 00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,398 I have to go. 350 00:13:11,362 --> 00:13:13,210 Thanks for the cheese. 351 00:13:16,385 --> 00:13:17,584 Hey. 352 00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:19,007 We... We talked over your offer, 353 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,676 and... we'll do it. 354 00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:25,475 Well, all right. 355 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,420 But we're gonna need to make some rules. 356 00:13:27,445 --> 00:13:28,453 Rule number one... 357 00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,709 You're not allowed to fall in love with each other! 358 00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,600 - What? - What? 359 00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:33,914 Why would that even be a rule? 360 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,038 It is a rule! 361 00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,363 You both have to agree to it, or no deal. 362 00:13:38,155 --> 00:13:39,781 - All right. - Yeah, of course. 363 00:13:39,806 --> 00:13:42,172 Okay. Actual rule number one... 364 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,530 I hump you, you don't hump me. 365 00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:45,718 Wow. That's interesting. 366 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,500 You're sure you don't even want to try it just a little bit? 367 00:13:49,211 --> 00:13:51,186 We'll play it by ear. 368 00:13:51,211 --> 00:13:52,109 Final rule! 369 00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:53,476 I pick the music, strictly jam bands. 370 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:54,203 No! 371 00:13:54,228 --> 00:13:55,344 No jam bands! 372 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,154 No harmonicas, no improvising, no solos. 373 00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,725 - Oh, this is not the girl who was like... - One guitar... 374 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,491 - "Take me to Widespread..." - noodling thingie... 375 00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:02,640 - again and again and again and... - whatever that is. 376 00:14:02,665 --> 00:14:04,710 Whoa, whoa whoa! 377 00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:06,586 God, you guys fight a lot, huh? 378 00:14:06,611 --> 00:14:08,141 - No. - Yes. 379 00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:10,725 So, you down to clown or what? 380 00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,730 Does it look like I'm down to clown? 381 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:18,536 - Oh, wow. - That's miming. 382 00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:19,825 No, that's not clowning. 383 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,883 That's real bad miming. 384 00:14:22,191 --> 00:14:23,891 My God. 385 00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:25,044 - That's... - Oh, God. 386 00:14:25,069 --> 00:14:26,657 - Oh, no. - Wow. 387 00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:29,618 - God bless! - Oh, man! 388 00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:40,582 S-So, how should we... how should we start? 389 00:14:40,607 --> 00:14:43,261 You in her, and them me in her, and then we touch butts? 390 00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:44,262 Or you want more of a sandwich sitch? 391 00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:45,753 Shh. Or... 392 00:14:45,778 --> 00:14:48,591 Show me how you normally start when you're alone. 393 00:14:48,616 --> 00:14:50,458 - Oh, we got this act down. - Oh. Yeah. 394 00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,778 Quick and dirty. Jess, hop to it. 395 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,708 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 396 00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,949 Hey hey! Stop. What, are you spitting? 397 00:14:58,974 --> 00:15:00,372 Jesus, man! What's happening? 398 00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,638 What? You told us to start slammin'. No, no, no. 399 00:15:02,663 --> 00:15:04,240 We're not gonna be slammin' anything. 400 00:15:04,264 --> 00:15:05,341 We will be making love, 401 00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:08,255 and love is about coming together. 402 00:15:09,537 --> 00:15:10,778 That's impossible. 403 00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:13,084 No, I mean becoming one. 404 00:15:13,186 --> 00:15:15,435 You two need to start listening to each other's bodies. 405 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:18,235 I mean really hear each other, do you know what I mean? 406 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,463 I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. 407 00:15:21,648 --> 00:15:24,248 Okay. Face each other. 408 00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:27,893 Todd, look at Jess. 409 00:15:28,077 --> 00:15:29,904 Nope, in the eyes. 410 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,122 In the eyes? 411 00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:32,738 Why would I... 412 00:15:33,357 --> 00:15:35,091 Whoa. 413 00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:36,582 Wow. 414 00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:38,396 What is happening to us? 415 00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:40,455 I'm getting all... 416 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,012 goose-pimply. 417 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,440 Now, Jess, I'm guessing 418 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:47,021 that little plank-board situation from before 419 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,246 isn't exactly how you like to get down. 420 00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:50,739 So why don't you tell Todd 421 00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:53,203 exactly what you want him to do to you? 422 00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:55,114 Like, with words, or...? 423 00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:58,291 Yeah, with words. That's... yes. 424 00:15:59,247 --> 00:16:00,914 Kiss... 425 00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:02,629 my neck. 426 00:16:02,869 --> 00:16:04,881 Your neck? 427 00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:08,301 I mean, okay. 428 00:16:11,264 --> 00:16:13,083 What's that sound? Am I hurting you? 429 00:16:13,108 --> 00:16:14,599 No! 430 00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:17,394 No, I-I-I liked it. 431 00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,669 Yeah. 432 00:16:22,694 --> 00:16:24,525 Now we're getting going. 433 00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:30,130 Now it's Tank Top Time. 434 00:16:30,845 --> 00:16:32,111 All right. 435 00:16:32,136 --> 00:16:34,505 So, he says he'll give you $200,000 a pop 436 00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:36,396 and he'll take everyone under 50, 437 00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:38,054 so that leaves 29 islanders. 438 00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:40,732 Tell him I said $250,000, 439 00:16:40,757 --> 00:16:43,091 and I want them gone tomorrow. 440 00:16:43,246 --> 00:16:45,714 What about everybody else? 441 00:16:46,123 --> 00:16:48,216 Kill them. 442 00:16:48,621 --> 00:16:50,107 Aah! 443 00:16:52,604 --> 00:16:54,784 Caught this one outside, eavesdropping. 444 00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:57,075 - You want me to kill him? - Please, no! 445 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,169 I didn't hear anything. 446 00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,951 I've actually got an ear infection, so... 447 00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:01,833 - I'm just... - No. 448 00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:05,685 I've decided Steve will be coming with us. 449 00:17:06,756 --> 00:17:08,380 Wow! 450 00:17:09,013 --> 00:17:11,098 I never felt so close to you. 451 00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:13,122 I never felt so close to you. 452 00:17:13,147 --> 00:17:14,380 Whoo! 453 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,669 Oh! Tell me about it, huh? 454 00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:18,841 Yeah. 455 00:17:18,866 --> 00:17:20,646 Whoo! 456 00:17:20,671 --> 00:17:23,472 - Man, I feel loose! - Yeah. 457 00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:25,856 I'll tell you what. Your timing couldn't have been any better. 458 00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:27,788 Yeah, I feel like we really got into a nice rhythm there, 459 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:28,536 you know? 460 00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:30,630 No, no. I mean The Barracuda. 461 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,713 She's about to round up all your friends 462 00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,239 and cut out their organs, sell 'em on the black market. 463 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:37,921 Come again? 464 00:17:37,946 --> 00:17:40,461 Kidneys! Yeah, those things sell, man. 465 00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:43,553 I tell you what, you guys are precious capital. 466 00:17:43,945 --> 00:17:45,912 You'll have to kill everyone. 467 00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:47,994 Yeah, but you know what? 468 00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:50,922 You guys don't worry, 'cause you're good. 469 00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:52,413 You're gonna be on that boat with me. 470 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:55,439 And every day is gonna be Tank Top Time. 471 00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:57,617 Whoo! 472 00:17:57,642 --> 00:18:00,539 Tank Top Time! 473 00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:06,671 Todd. 474 00:18:06,696 --> 00:18:07,822 Todd, we have to tell everyone! 475 00:18:07,847 --> 00:18:09,032 Okay, yeah, that's great, 476 00:18:09,057 --> 00:18:10,314 but let's just think this through. 477 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,072 Think what through? They're gonna kill everyone! 478 00:18:12,097 --> 00:18:13,363 I know. I know, all right? 479 00:18:13,388 --> 00:18:14,993 But if we tell everyone what's going on, 480 00:18:15,018 --> 00:18:16,094 we'll lose our place on the ship. 481 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:17,765 That means we just had a threesome 482 00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:21,023 with a pirate named Tank Top for nothing! 483 00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:22,313 He was putting his fingers in me, 484 00:18:22,338 --> 00:18:23,494 - unless that was you. - Okay, shh. 485 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,384 Todd, look at me. Look at me. 486 00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:25,775 Even if we die, 487 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,923 what we just did in there was not for nothing. 488 00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:30,706 It was for us. 489 00:18:30,939 --> 00:18:32,978 I love you so much. 490 00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:35,476 I love you. Now, let's go tell our friends 491 00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,431 they're about to get murdered. 492 00:18:36,456 --> 00:18:38,150 Okay, but we should wash our hands first. 493 00:18:38,175 --> 00:18:39,012 Hurry up. 494 00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,595 So I broke these two fingers 495 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,064 punching him right in the chin, 496 00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:44,665 and that's how I got thrown off the set of "La Bamba." 497 00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:46,601 There you are! 498 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,336 I've been looking for you everywhere. 499 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,251 Okay, hi. 500 00:18:50,276 --> 00:18:52,465 I was hanging out with Florence. 501 00:18:53,622 --> 00:18:55,296 I see. 502 00:18:57,121 --> 00:19:01,390 Is there anything you'd like to say to me? 503 00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:03,082 No. 504 00:19:04,871 --> 00:19:08,164 Okay. Um, fine. 505 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,830 Uh, I think, you know, 506 00:19:09,855 --> 00:19:12,356 that we might kind of be into each other, 507 00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:14,399 but, uh, I'm not really sure 508 00:19:14,424 --> 00:19:15,806 'cause we haven't even really talked about it. 509 00:19:15,831 --> 00:19:17,189 Okay, dude. 510 00:19:17,214 --> 00:19:20,279 Do not do this, all right? 511 00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:23,235 First you're gonna hook up, then you're gonna break up, 512 00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,509 and then you're gonna be stuck together 513 00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:25,611 here on the island. 514 00:19:25,636 --> 00:19:28,459 Well... that's what she said. 515 00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,628 I don't get it. 516 00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:32,901 Get what? 517 00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:35,212 "That's what she said"? How's that a "That's what she said"? 518 00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:36,903 No, that's literally what she said. 519 00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:38,767 Okay, I don't think you understand how the joke works. 520 00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,064 No, I'm not doing the joke. 521 00:19:40,089 --> 00:19:41,797 I'm telling you what she told me. That's what she said. 522 00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,105 Yeah, but usually, you have to do it 523 00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,846 in, like, a reference to a sexual thing, 524 00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:46,244 - like, "That's what she said." - I understand. 525 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,697 - I understand the joke. - Guys! Guys! 526 00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:50,522 - They're gonna kill us! - The pirates... they're gonna kill us! 527 00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:51,423 We got to get our shit! 528 00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:52,867 We got to get our shit, we got to get out of here! 529 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,306 Whoa whoa whoa, wait! Slow down. What is happening? 530 00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:55,220 The pirates... 531 00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:57,439 they're gonna harvest our organs and sell them. 532 00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:58,658 - Sure they are. - What? 533 00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:00,025 Wait, how did you guys find this out? 534 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,405 Because we just had... 535 00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,189 Never mind! It's not important. 536 00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:04,767 Guys! Guys! 537 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,957 The pirates... they're gonna kill us! 538 00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:10,056 We know, Steve. Todd and Jess just told us. 539 00:20:10,081 --> 00:20:12,142 Oh. 540 00:20:14,516 --> 00:20:15,983 Steve, man. 541 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,564 If it means that much to you, 542 00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:19,355 you can come back in. 543 00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,220 We'll pretend we didn't know. 544 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,103 It's not that! 545 00:20:23,408 --> 00:20:26,368 I thought The Barracuda was a good person. 546 00:20:27,484 --> 00:20:29,812 I've been sleeping with a monster! 547 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,228 What? 548 00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:32,876 - The Barracuda? - What? 549 00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:35,314 I couldn't say anything! She was gonna kill me! 550 00:20:35,339 --> 00:20:37,103 Steve... this Steve... 551 00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,328 has been banging The Barracuda! 552 00:20:39,353 --> 00:20:40,134 How?! 553 00:20:40,159 --> 00:20:42,001 He's lying. Is he lying? He's lying. 554 00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:43,251 - Yeah, he's got to be lying. - Hey! 555 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,579 There are more important issues at hand here! 556 00:20:46,604 --> 00:20:48,494 Like the fact that our kidneys 557 00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:50,955 are about to be ripped out of our asses! 558 00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,444 Guys, what are we gonna do? 559 00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:55,380 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 560 00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:58,830 We're all gonna die! 561 00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:11,032 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 562 00:21:11,082 --> 00:21:15,632 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38266

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.