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[theme music playing]
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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL COMEDY SPECIAL
3
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[crowd applauding, cheering]
4
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,945
What's good? What's good?
What's good? What's good?
5
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Here we go. Here we go.
6
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,199
What's up?
7
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Yeah, niggas. All right. Cool.
8
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It's great to be in Atlanta.
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Atlanta is a black ass city,
you know what I mean?
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-[crowd cheering]
-Yeah. Yeah.
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00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,253
I... My favorite
white people city is Austin.
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If someone held a gun, like, ''Name your
top favorite white people cities.''
13
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,593
I'd be, like,
''Austin, bitch. Pull the trigger.''
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00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,595
-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak chuckles]
15
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I was in Austin, going to a festival.
I was on the plane.
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I was on the phone
with my girl waiting to take off.
17
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,101
You know how the sky waitress comes by?
18
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Puts you in an arm bar
to get your phone from you.
19
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All extra about this shit.
20
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I put the phone away facing towards me.
Took my sweater up.
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Put my seat belt on. Got situated.
Was living my best life.
22
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Realized a phone call was coming in.
23
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Reached for it. Missed it.
I was, like, oh, shit.
24
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It came from the girl I was messing around
with before my girlfriend.
25
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But within that nine month... ugh!
26
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-[crowd laughing]
-[chuckles]
27
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This is verbatim the voicemail she left.
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''Hey, Jak. I need you to call me back,
right now. Oh, my God. Shit.
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I never thought this would happen. Just
call me back now. Please.''
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I was, like, shit. So, I call her.
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I called her back immediately,
but the plane started to take off.
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It's getting so high
that my phone call just dies.
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So I'm just in the air for three hours,
just being a father.
34
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-[crowd laughing]
-[chuckles]
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And I go through the full emotional range
of that shit.
36
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That hour when I hadn't really thought
about it
37
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I ain't raising no damn kids. [chuckles]
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I put a black in my mouth. I'm, like,
Hey I'm an asshole. This is my life.
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That second hour I marinated on it.
I thought about it.
40
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I'm not gonna be like my dad.
41
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I'm gonna stop by from time to time.
42
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-[chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
43
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Teach that little nigga
some cool hand shakes.
44
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Like, ''What's that?''
Then get in an Uber.
45
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,167
-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak chuckles]
46
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,462
That third hour I really sat with it.
You know what I can't stand?
47
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The public school system in this country.
48
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It makes no fucking sense
that we give money to the government
49
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and none of it goes to public school
50
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and my baby, in the drama department
wanna dance. Let my baby dance.
51
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[crowd cheering, applauding]
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Plane lands, I call my girl five times.
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"Answer the phone. Answer the fucking
phone."
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-''Hey.''
-''What the fuck is going on?''
55
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She's, like,
''I wanna let you know I miss you.
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I know you have a girlfriend,
but I want to let you know how I feel.''
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-I was, like, ''I miss you too.''
-[crowd laughing]
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And hung up and text her,
''Don't you ever call me again.''
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[crowd laughing]
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A lot of ya'll tweaking.
"Why didn't you cuss her out?
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That was an irresponsible voicemail.
I would've been so mad about it.
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I would've cussed her out.
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And I agree with you but you just become
more patient as a dad.
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[Jak chuckles]
65
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Yeah.
66
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I live in LA.
67
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I didn't know all these dicks were being
pulled out. I didn't know.
68
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,686
-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak chuckles]
69
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,732
Don't let sexual deviants ruin
pulling out your dick for everybody else.
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Fellas, read the room. What the fuck?
71
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-[crowd laughing]
-[chuckles] Know what I mean?
72
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Nothing wrong with pulling out a dick.
Gets you were you gotta go.
73
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-But outside? Nigga, what? [chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
74
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All these dudes are sexual deviants
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who use their power over women
to abuse them�in public.
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They're on their way to the bathroom.
Be like, ''Where you think you're going?''
77
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-''To the bathroom.''
-''You know I'm 35% of Amazon.''
78
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-''So?''
-''No, it's 40%.''
79
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[crowd laughing]
80
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Damn bro, she's trying to go dookie.
Why you trying to [chuckles]...
81
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[crowd laughing]
82
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I hate when people are, like, ''Why do
women freeze up? Push him away.
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Or get away from him.''
They ground hogging, nigga.
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They gotta slurp it back up
and figure out what the fuck to do.
85
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''Come on, Sheila. These are bloody shoes.
You gotta figure this out.'' [chuckles]
86
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[crowd laughing]
87
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All that does is ruin it
for the young mahfuckers.
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Don't know how to pull out his dick, yet.
Ain't got game, yet. He in his dorm,
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with his girl. She weird. He weird. They
figuring it out.
90
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,201
He pull...
91
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He pull his dick out too early.
That's offsides. That's ten yards.
92
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Why you trying to take his jersey away,
New York Times? He's trying to learn.
93
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-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak chuckles]
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I pull my dick out, all the time.
95
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I got a black girlfriend
so she's not as dramatic about it.
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00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,550
[crowd laughing]
97
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,302
The news ain't talk about that.
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00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,971
-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak laughs]
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Ya'll ever pull out your dick
in front of your black girlfriend?
100
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-You know what I'm talking about, nigga.
-[crowd laughing]
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You never done it? You be, like, ''Ah!''
She be like, ''Nigga, I'm on the phone.''
102
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[crowd laughing]
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"Yeah, girl. He bored again
doing helicopter dick.
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I don't know what's wrong with the nigga.
He's pissing me off.
105
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It's pissing me the fuck off."
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''Pay attention to me.''
107
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-[crowd laughing]
-[Jak chuckles]
108
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All jokes aside, this is a beautiful thing
happening for women.
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This is a revolution. This is progression
that should've happened...
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-[crowd cheering]
-...a long time ago!
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I hope it spreads past New York.
I hope it spreads past Hollywood.
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To people that don't have the same level
of voice.
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I hope the girl, who works at Petco,
114
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doesn't have to deal with the nigga
holding a lizard with his dick out.
115
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-Like...
-[crowd laughing]
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They need the same voice, too.
Do you ever notice?
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All this aside,
do you ever notice any time
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something wonderful happens for women,
there's a female revolution.
119
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Lesbians start talking shit
to straight dudes.
120
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[crowd laughing]
121
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Nobody was talking to ya'll,
you taper fades. Get out of my face.
122
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:25,616
[crowd laughing]
123
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I'm just saying,
they be talking so much shit. But, like...
124
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They be, like, ''I told you.
Men have no idea how to treat women
125
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or make her feel like the woman she is.''
126
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''Yeah, bitch, you got the cheat codes.
127
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,794
-What are you talking about?''
-[crowd laughing]
128
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:41,883
Lesbians have the up, down, up, down,
left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b
129
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,844
You think I'm impressed by ya'll?
I'm not.
130
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,889
I can see people pulling away like,
"That's mean." No, nigga.
131
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,974
Lesbians have the easiest gay.
132
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,100
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
133
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,311
Any girl could go up to any girl
in this room,
134
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,730
''Hey you wanna make out?'' You be like,
''No, maybe. Who gives a fuck?''
135
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,649
-''I don't know, aah?''
-[crowd laughing and applauding]
136
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,195
Could you imagine if I pulled up
on my nigga, Darius?
137
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,988
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
138
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,784
Lick your lips. We're gonna figure out
where we are on this spectrum.
139
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,660
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
140
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,372
He gonna sock me and my mamma. And...
[chuckles]
141
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,708
He's trying to prove we're equal.
Nigga, shut the fuck up.
142
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,628
My best friend in the world is a lesbian.
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We got to bars. We be hitting on girls.
I see what she does. It's not impressive.
144
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,050
All she does is walk up to a girl,
145
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,386
she comments on her eyebrows,
they touch big toes,
146
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,346
and right then
and there they share a lease.
147
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,431
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
148
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,267
Are ya'll over there agreeing
with Wendy Williams?
149
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,769
Ya'll ain't impressive.
150
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,020
You're not.
151
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,647
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
152
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,942
Ya'll know what this is, right?
The whole Me Too movement.
153
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:44,404
The whole movement is women
and men alike are all mad at 45.
154
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,448
They want him gone for doing the same
shit all these other guys are doing.
155
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,992
We're getting consolation pervs
in the meantime,
156
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,621
until the whole tower of patriarchy
falls down underneath them.
157
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,958
It's a very good idea. But, ugh!
He's boring. It's corny.
158
00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:00,711
I don't like anything about it.
Talking about it, making jokes.
159
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:04,215
Remember how fun the Internet was?
Remember how silly everybody was?
160
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,342
Now everybody needs a political opinion.
161
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,846
All ya'll tweeting some political shit.
We weren't like that.
162
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,013
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
163
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,851
Everybody on the Internet talks politics,
except for Instagram models.
164
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,936
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd wows]
165
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:19,355
They're the only bipartisan thing
we got left.
166
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,566
Go on the Internet, it's like,
167
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,193
''It's your fault, you're racist.''
"It's your, you're a cuck.''
168
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,696
''I spilled a raspberry daiquiri
on my tits. Mm-hmm.''
169
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,073
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing, applauding]
170
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,286
And there's always a piece of me.
171
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:37,331
There's always a peace be sitting there,
like, ''We're gonna be all right.''
172
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,625
That's the third party I vote for.
[chuckles]
173
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,919
I wanna be an Instagram model.
Life looks great.
174
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,547
Sit around with their booty cheeks out,
eating sushi. That's fire.
175
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,465
[crowd laughing]
176
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,758
I want that but no one cares
about men being hoes.
177
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,677
No one cares about the inner thot in me.
178
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,179
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
179
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,016
All Instagram models is be cute
and wait to be drafted by draft picks.
180
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,476
I want that. You know.
181
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,020
Nobody will watch basketball husbands.
182
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,605
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
183
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,149
WNBA husbands?
Ya'll would watch that shit?
184
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,484
[crowd laughing]
185
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,695
You know what that show would be?
Dudes picking up their girl from the arena
186
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,238
and taking them to they second job.
187
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,283
-And they...� [laughs]
-[crowd cheers, applauding]
188
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,619
-Aah!
-[crowd wows]
189
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,037
Real niggas talk shit.
190
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,248
-[crowd applauding]
-[Jak laughs]
191
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,751
Okay, I'm going a little hard.
I apologize.
192
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,086
Let's take a step back, uh...
193
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,380
How was your holiday?
194
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,299
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
195
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,219
I was home. Most of you young people
know what I'm talking about.
196
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,679
When you a young person
and go home for the holidays,
197
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,641
all you do is sit there
and defend your generation.
198
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,061
That's all. You get yelled at
about your fucking generation.
199
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,395
I'm a young black dude.
200
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,606
Don't know if you know,
but there's a civil war going on
201
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,441
between old black dudes
and young black dudes.
202
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,735
Old niggas hate us.
203
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,072
Any older cousin, Uncle,
nigga named Darnell.
204
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,533
-They don't want nothing to do with us.
-[crowd laughing]
205
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,868
I came home for Thanksgiving
wearing pink socks.
206
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,203
This nigga spit stuffing out. [spits]
207
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:58,538
Why all of ya'll gay?
208
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,540
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
209
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:04,001
I was like, ''You just met my girlfriend.
I don't know how to answer that.''
210
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,421
It pisses me off that old niggas do it.
Like, ''Why ya'll act like that?
211
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,800
Why ya'll weird? Why ya'll act like that?
Why ya'll weird?'' The government.
212
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,009
[crowd laughing]
213
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,303
The same way you acted weird
when you were young.
214
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,429
Cause of the government.
215
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,139
The FBI wanted to destroy black men
216
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,225
so we couldn't build equity
in our communities.
217
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,394
To be detached from our families.
218
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:24,313
They made economic obstacles,
the prison system, flooded us with drugs.
219
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,191
Subsequently, it would lead
to a generation of black men
220
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:30,069
raised by their grandma's and their moms,
just like me.
221
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,697
Creating a generation of sassy ass niggas.
222
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,615
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
223
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,831
It blows my mind when old niggas are like,
''Why ya'll got pink dreads,
224
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,584
and face tattoos,
and dance flamboyantly?''
225
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,751
Because, nigga, Reagan.
226
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,838
-Ooh, ooh, ooh!
-[crowd laughing]
227
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,966
You don't think Lil Uzi Vert was
on the FBI's vision board?
228
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,926
What the fuck you talking about?
229
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,597
I be arguing with my girl.
We be going at it. But it's like,
230
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,099
I only know how to argue like my momma.
My momma raised me.
231
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,810
I can see where it's like man thing,
woman thing, man thing.
232
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,145
We be up in there like...
233
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,063
-Tin, tin, tin tin!
-[crowd laughing]
234
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,107
Just full on Love and Hip Hop reunion.
235
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,693
Just, ''Nah, nah, nah!''
236
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:14,864
Throwing champagne until I admit I watched
Stranger Things when she went to work.
237
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,199
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]
238
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,746
[Jak laughs]
239
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:22,913
Ya'll together?
240
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,957
How long you been together?
241
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,584
[woman] Almost three years.
242
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,336
Three years? How's the...
243
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,088
The fucking!
244
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,299
[crowd laughing]
245
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,425
[Jak] It's good?
246
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,803
You got a little choked up
in the front of that.
247
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,639
You ever fake it?
248
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,808
-[woman] No!
-Never? Bullshit.
249
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,395
You tell me this nigga comes home,
everyday... [mimicking a trumpet]
250
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,939
There's no way. You have a job, right?
251
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:52,026
You tell me you don't get yelled at
by you boss and get sad and have to...
252
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,404
shove that 66 percent-er in her
and call it a day?
253
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,823
You know? When it feels like biscuit mix.
254
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,660
That's it. I'm sad today.
This is what it's going to be.
255
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,244
This is what it's gonna be.
256
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,996
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
257
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,541
Women fake it and they tell you
and that's mean.
258
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,545
You know? They're, like,
''I faked it. I faked it.''
259
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:15,132
That's mean. You know why? It's never
informative, it's always vindictive.
260
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,802
A girl's never like,
''I faked it. Let's build.''
261
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,720
[crowd laughing]
262
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,890
They're like, ''I faked it, argh!''
263
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,308
That didn't help the situation.
264
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,936
Girls think they're special
because they get to say it. Guess what?
265
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,438
Guys fake it, too. I fake it all the time.
266
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,233
I just fake it
minutes after I actually cum.
267
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,609
[crowd laughing]
268
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,529
Ya'll never do that?
269
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,823
Where you be like,
''Ah, ah, ah!'' [grunts]
270
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,908
[crowd laughing]
271
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,160
[clucking]
272
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,705
[mimicking drum roll]
273
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:53,337
Check the clock, though.
Check the clock, though.
274
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,047
The whole time I'm in her like...
275
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,717
[grunts, groans]
276
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,221
Like a rapper on cough syrup.
Just Weezy F. Baby.
277
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,014
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
278
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,225
Twenty-one. 21. 21. Migo.
279
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,770
I learn a lot from women.
I learn a lot from everybody.
280
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,105
A lot from my girl about women.
281
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,899
I wanted to put her on birth control
cause my career's going good.
282
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,693
-[Jak chuckles]
-[crowd laughing]
283
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,903
Women have to do everything
about birth control.
284
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,363
They have to take all the things.
285
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,615
The pill, the patch, the implant,
the diaphragm.
286
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,576
If your old bitch trying to get back
in the game.
287
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:24,744
[crowd laughing]
288
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,829
Go ahead and put that jello,
cobalt bean, Joyce.
289
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,205
I ain't mad at you. [chuckles]
290
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:31,459
Women have to do everything
when it comes to birth control.
291
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,919
That's systemic shit men set up
and it's shitty. But I get it.
292
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,796
We're better creatures now.
More responsible.
293
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,341
You get a pap smear every year on the dot.
You take a pill at 2:30 am
294
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,886
just in case I fuck up.
You go to the doctor.
295
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,304
Guys don't go to doctors.
296
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:46,098
If there was male birth control,
you think we would go? No.
297
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,517
We'd rather go to a nigga
behind the Carl's Jr.
298
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,643
[crowd laughing]
299
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,104
Who's name is Gerber.
His Plan B is a Capri-Sun straw
300
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,355
and shoots it up our dick.
301
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,900
''Ugh! I just leave it in?''
302
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,194
You selling that rice cooker?
303
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,821
I don't have any kids. [chuckles]
304
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,158
I don't have any kids. My version
of birth control, you know what that is?
305
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,453
I just have sex with well-off, ambitious,
liberal women.
306
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:09,163
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
307
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,122
Yeah!
308
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,710
A lady with some goals?
That's contraception. It works a 100%.
309
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,839
You don't get pregnancy scares.
You just get abortion memos. [laughs]
310
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,883
From a LinkedIn account
you didn't know you had.
311
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:25,429
This all happened today? I was playing 2K
with my niggas. I didn't know.
312
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:29,308
They made male birth control in India.
You know how India been making shit.
313
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:32,770
Sent it to the big pharmacy companies
in America. They decide not to distribute.
314
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:36,565
They, as men, didn't want to use it
and thought no other male would.
315
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,068
But they're all white, frumpy,
middle-aged dudes.
316
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,569
They're not even good at fucking.
317
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,739
They telling young niggas how to pipe.
Young, spry niggas how to pipe.
318
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:47,368
That is crazy. All you do is wiggle on top
of your half-asleep wife.
319
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:51,664
And you telling me... Ugh! I'm mad, dog.
Do a survey!
320
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,123
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
321
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,126
Ask around. You don't think I'm tired
of putting Plan B in french toast?
322
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,504
-I'm just saying. [laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
323
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,048
Ugh! Dog. Women's march next year,
I'm gonna be there.
324
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,384
Bright and early. I hate men, too.
Hate them.
325
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:06,345
I got my sign made. I'm gonna be there,
bright and fucking early.
326
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,890
My body, my choices.
Condoms suck up all the moistness.
327
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,892
-[Jak laughs]
-[crowd laughing]
328
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,561
Thank you so much. Have a good night.
329
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,105
-[crowd cheering and applauding]
-[theme music]
330
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,705
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