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NARRATOR: If y'all was paying
attention last season,
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00:00:06,105 --> 00:00:07,539
y'all know
what a nigga moment is.
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00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,840
A nigga moment is when the mind
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00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:10,242
of a perfectly logical
black man
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00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,244
is overwhelmed
by some stupid nigga shit.
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00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,079
Like when a nigga steps up
on your sneaker
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00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,514
and fucks up your kicks,
or hits your car or some shit.
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00:00:16,515 --> 00:00:17,883
And the nigga get mad
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00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,918
like it's your fault,
like you fucked up.
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00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:22,187
So his ignorance
makes you act crazy.
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00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,356
And the next thing you know,
niggas is beefing,
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00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:28,994
shooting, fighting,
and somebody ends up dead.
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00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:34,867
But yo, not even death
can stop a nigga moment.
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00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:39,238
[?]
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00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:46,645
DEVIL: He was the baddest motherfucker
that hell had ever seen.
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00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,914
Colonel motherfucking
Stinkmeaner,
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00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:51,450
holler at your boy,
I gets money.
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00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:53,919
He trained like a beast.
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00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,455
Y'all gonna have
to kick me out of this bitch.
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00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,156
I'm having the time of my life.
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He was so bad,
he even called me,
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00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,861
the devil himself, a-
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Bitch-ass nigga!
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00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:08,634
This is how you break your foot
off in a motherfucker's ass.
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00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,736
Hyah! Hyah!
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[DEMONIC SCREAM]
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Ah! You baldheaded
devil monks
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00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:16,643
are trying to swarm
on a nigga, huh?
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You just got a two-piece combo
and biscuit, ho.
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? I got three-stick nunchucks?
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[WHOOPING]
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Gotcha, nigga.
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[BLOWS LANDING] I see ya.
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I feel it.
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Stinkmeaner,
your heart of darkness
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has earned you a trip back.
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You have my blessings
to exact vengeance
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on the Freeman family
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and to spread
ignorance and chaos
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in the black community.
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They will be no match
for you.
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[DEVIL LAUGHING]
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STINKMEANER:
Ah! Hell ain't shit.
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I'm gonna get you, Freeman!
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♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪
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♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
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00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:03,054
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
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00:02:03,055 --> 00:02:04,923
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
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00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,525
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
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00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,093
♪ So that you can know
Left from right ♪
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00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,395
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
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♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
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♪ To call your brother sun ♪
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00:02:12,931 --> 00:02:14,265
♪ The story that just begun ♪
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♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
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♪ And I'm 'a remain a soldier ♪
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♪ Till the war is won
Won ♪
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♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
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00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,675
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
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00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:26,411
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
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00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:28,181
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
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[?]
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00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,385
[KEYS CLICKING]
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00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:36,421
Mm-hm.
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Mm! Wow, so she's
on my friends list?
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Yup, she your very first
cyber friend
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and you're her 3 millionth.
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GRANDDAD:
Yeah, boy! I love technology.
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HUEY: My granddad recently
discovered online dating.
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You should post more pics.
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Ho's love pictures, Granddad.
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00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,072
I'm starting to feel
like Shemar Moore up in here.
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Hoo! Boy, let's get
some music on.
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Turn on the My-pod
and let's get on the I-space.
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[CAMERA CLICKING]
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00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:03,348
[?]
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00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,951
RILEY: Hey, which outfit
you want next, Granddad?
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00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,820
The leather vest.
The one with the rhinestones.
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00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,055
[GROANS]
[CLICKS]
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Granddad, I...
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00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:12,925
[CAMERA CLICKS]
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I can come back.
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00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,928
Boy, get over here
and take this picture.
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00:03:17,262 --> 00:03:19,397
Now, what's wrong with you?
Why the long face?
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00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:21,366
I had a bad dream about...
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00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,201
Talk and shoot
at the same time, boy.
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RILEY: Granddad, you want
"Beat It" or "Thriller"?
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Mmm, that's a tough one.
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00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,808
Take 'em back
and go get my purple Speedo.
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00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,843
RILEY: Purple Speedo?
That's gay.
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00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:33,946
All right, boy,
so you had a bad dream.
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00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,414
It was a really bad dream
about...
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00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:36,814
RILEY:
I don't see the purple one.
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00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,617
Did you check
the Speedo drawer?
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00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,286
Go ahead, boy.
Bad dream and...?
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00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,520
It was about Stinkmeaner.
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00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:44,022
Leopard print's
all I could find.
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GRANDDAD:
Oh, man.
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00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,360
[BOTH GROANING]
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00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,662
Damn, these things are tight.
What about Stinkmeaner?
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00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:52,898
He was in hell, and he was
coming back to get us.
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00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,333
Stinkmeaner? Don't be crazy.
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00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,535
That old man that Granddad
killed for no reason?
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00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,703
No reason?
That man was a psycho.
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00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:00,138
He almost killed
your granddaddy.
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00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:02,674
He was blind.
You killed a blind old man.
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00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,442
Colonel Stinkmeaner
was a menace.
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00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,345
And I sent him to hell
where he belongs.
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00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,545
[LAUGHS]
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00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:09,947
Yeah, Granddad,
real tough with the handicapped.
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00:04:09,948 --> 00:04:12,116
He probably gonna beat up
some retarded kids next.
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00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,884
This retarded man
gonna whup your ass,
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that's what he's gonna do.
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00:04:15,387 --> 00:04:19,090
Wait- You know what I meant!
What were we talking about?
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Oh, yeah, your dream.
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00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,260
Look, boy,
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Stinkmeaner ain't coming back.
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00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:26,799
He can't hurt you or me
or any of us, okay?
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00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:30,168
Now, let's get one more picture.
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[GROANING]
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00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:36,875
HUEY: Some people are scared
of zombies or vampires,
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00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:39,177
but the thing that scare
black people the most
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00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:41,179
are niggas and nigga moments.
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00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,547
[HUMMING]
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00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:45,049
Tom DuBois was as far
from a nigga
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00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:47,518
as a black man could be.
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00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:49,954
But Stinkmeaner knew
that every black man's spirit
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00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:51,923
is weakened
during a nigga moment.
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00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,024
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:55,227
[TIRES SCREECHING]
What the-?!
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00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,463
Oh, come on, you n-
Nincompoop.
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00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,099
You can't do that!
Hey, come on.
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00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:05,003
Nigga moments can happen
to any black man at any time.
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00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,972
Hey, I- That was my space.
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00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,374
I had my blinker on
and everything.
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00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,810
Fuck you, punk-ass,
bougie-ass, hook-ass nigga!
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00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,645
I'll beat
your motherfucking ass, nigga!
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00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,714
Don't never in your life
ever try to holler at me.
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00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,682
Fuck with me, nigga,
and I'll be popping a trunk
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00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:18,750
on your bitch ass, nigga.
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00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:19,818
Get my motherfucking Uzi.
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00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,521
[GIBBERING]
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00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:26,558
[STINKMEANER'S VOICE]
What did you say, nigga?!
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00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,226
You know what, motherfucker?
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00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,928
Eat a dick, nigga.
I'm tired of this mo...
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00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,363
[YELLING]
147
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,298
[YELLING]
148
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,334
Oh, yeah, look at ya.
149
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:39,071
You was popping all that
good shit a second ago.
150
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,106
Then you got kicked
in your chest.
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00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:44,176
You eat a dick, nigga,
you eat a dick!
152
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,810
[GRUNTING]
153
00:05:45,811 --> 00:05:47,278
[PANTING]
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00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,780
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh- Oh, my God.
155
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,315
Sir, are you okay?
156
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,051
Who did this to you?
What-? What did he look like?
157
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:56,821
Did- Did anyone see
who accosted this man?
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00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:59,057
I got a date?
I can't believe it.
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00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,759
Of course you got
a date, Granddad.
160
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,560
Everything on your page
is a lie.
161
00:06:02,561 --> 00:06:03,695
No, it is not.
162
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,564
Granddad, you don't skydive,
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00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,032
you're not Brazilian,
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00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,934
and you never was
a member of G-Unit.
165
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,101
Mind your damn business.
166
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,637
And she probably a man.
Shut up.
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00:06:14,706 --> 00:06:16,274
MAN:
So, Mrs. Wong,
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00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:19,811
there you were
not carjacking Mr. Teskinelli,
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00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,847
beating him senseless
with a nine iron,
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00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,248
stealing his wallet
and driving his car
171
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:26,318
into the hosiery section
of the JCPenney?
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00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,120
Correct.
173
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,656
I have no further questions.
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00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,593
Now, Mrs. Wong,
let me ask you a question.
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[GRUNTS]
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00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,497
[STINKMEANER'S VOICE]
What's good, nigga?
177
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,897
[ALL GASP] Ahhh!
178
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:41,032
[NORMAL VOICE] Oh, my God.
179
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:43,234
Excuse me,
Mr. DuBois?
180
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:44,769
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
181
00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:46,504
Ahem. Well, I-I said, um...
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00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:47,772
[GRUNTS]
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00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:49,641
[STINKMEANER'S VOICE]
What's really good?
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00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:50,875
[ALL LAUGH]
[GAVEL BANGS]
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00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,710
JUDGE:
Is there something really good
186
00:06:52,711 --> 00:06:54,712
you'd like to share
with the court, Mr. DuBois?
187
00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:55,947
[GIBBERING]
188
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,615
Fuck your court, nigga!
189
00:06:57,616 --> 00:06:58,750
[COURT GASPS]
190
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:02,788
Mr. DuBois!
Fuck your court, nigga!
191
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,656
Fuck your court!
192
00:07:05,657 --> 00:07:07,091
[COURT GASPS]
193
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,561
Lady Liberty's got balls!
194
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,195
[WHIMPERING]
195
00:07:11,196 --> 00:07:12,131
[NORMAL VOICE] Oh, no.
196
00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:19,604
What's good, nigga?!
197
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:20,971
[WHIMPERING]
198
00:07:20,972 --> 00:07:22,741
[SCREAMING]
199
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,242
[?]
200
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:27,345
HUEY: Meanwhile, I couldn't
shake the feeling
201
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,315
that an evil force
was gathering.
202
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:33,885
I must be crazy.
203
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,788
MAN:
Nah, you ain't crazy.
204
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,191
Stinkmeaner's coming back.
But Stinkmeaner died.
205
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,125
What you gonna tell me,
ghosts don't exist?
206
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,461
Then what the fuck
do I look like?
207
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,129
Ghostface Killah
isn't even dead.
208
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,429
Now, you say what you want,
209
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:47,732
that goofy-looking motherfucker
is coming back.
210
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,768
Your granddad's nigga moment
ain't dead yet.
211
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,269
But what am I supposed to do?
212
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,538
If death can't stop Stinkmeaner,
what can?
213
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,907
Think about it. Peace.
214
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,782
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]
215
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,422
[HUMMING]
216
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,224
Look, Granddad,
I'm really worried about...
217
00:08:13,225 --> 00:08:15,593
Watch it, boy,
don't step on my roses.
218
00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,695
Then why you putting them
on the floor?
219
00:08:17,696 --> 00:08:19,831
But, anyway, I know
this is gonna sound crazy,
220
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,399
but I really think
Stinkmeaner's...
221
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,334
Oh, hush, boy,
I ain't got time for that.
222
00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:25,403
Now, it's date night
and you know the rules.
223
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:26,404
You get in that room.
224
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:27,772
I don't care
if you hear scream
225
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:29,607
and feel the house shake
like a earthquake.
226
00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:31,543
You don't leave.
Now, git!
227
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,913
[?]
228
00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:40,518
Honey, I'm home.
229
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,654
Hey, honey.
230
00:08:43,288 --> 00:08:44,755
[STINKMEANER'S VOICE]
Oh, yeah!
231
00:08:44,756 --> 00:08:47,025
I think I wanna have
sexual relations.
232
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,594
Tom, what's gotten into you?
233
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:52,563
Same thing
that's about to get into you.
234
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:54,032
[GIGGLING] Oh, Tom!
235
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,667
STINKMEANER:
Oh, yeah!
236
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:56,968
I'm gonna make it do
what it do.
237
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,203
SARAH:
Oh, Tom!
238
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,139
[HUMMING]
239
00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:11,382
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]
240
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:14,518
♪ Under your praised eyelid ♪
241
00:09:14,519 --> 00:09:18,456
♪ She came to her senses ♪
242
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:21,225
♪ And she started to... ♪
243
00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:25,296
Well, I'm in the studio
with Snoop Doggy Dogg
244
00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:26,631
and Tha Pound tonight.
245
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,301
♪ In shades of rose... ♪
246
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,902
[TOILET FLUSHES]
247
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,672
But how about, uh,
tomorrow, cutie pie?
248
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:36,440
Semicolon,
right parenthesis. Mm.
249
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:38,410
STINKMEANER: Ha!
[YELLS]
250
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,477
What the-?
251
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:40,578
[STINKMEANER YELLING]
252
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:43,815
Who's out there?
Boys! Boys, help me.
253
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:46,016
I'm back, nigga!
Oh, what the-?
254
00:09:46,017 --> 00:09:47,619
Oh, my Lord!
255
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,456
[SCREAMING]
256
00:09:55,994 --> 00:09:57,996
GRANDDAD: What the
fuck's wrong with you?!
257
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,231
Tom, just don't try
to hurt me!
258
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,100
Oh, Lordy Lord.
259
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,338
What the hell?!
Tom, what's going on?
260
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,707
Tom, go away!
I'm gonna call the police.
261
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,308
Did you hear that?
262
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:13,278
Man, I can't hear nothing
over Granddad's gay-ass music.
263
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,914
[STINKMEANER YELLING]
Look out, new message.
264
00:10:16,915 --> 00:10:19,650
Ah, man. It's an old dude
with his shirt off.
265
00:10:19,651 --> 00:10:23,354
Wait, that's Granddad.
Ooh, he in the bathroom.
266
00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:25,490
Probably just ran out
of toiler paper again.
267
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,025
I ain't getting it
for him neither. Nope.
268
00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:29,461
Why would he send
a message from-?
269
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,929
Hey!
270
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:35,167
What the hell?
Tom, what's going on?
271
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:36,934
[YELLS]
272
00:10:36,935 --> 00:10:39,537
Oh, my goodness,
the man is crazy.
273
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:40,938
STINKMEANER:
Oh, you running?
274
00:10:40,939 --> 00:10:42,373
What's going on?
Oh, help me, son.
275
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:43,642
Help me, help me.
Come on.
276
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,644
Oh, my goodness,
some black people are crazy.
277
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,379
Oh, yeah!
Here comes the pain.
278
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,314
Oh! Ahhh!
279
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,414
[SCREAMING]
280
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:52,417
Goodness gracious to life.
281
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,518
Tom, what's wrong with you?
282
00:10:54,519 --> 00:10:56,387
You on that stuff?
Snap out of it, Tom.
283
00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:57,822
Cocaine's a hell of a drug.
284
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:01,026
You don't remember me?
You don't remember my name?
285
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,728
[YELLS]
286
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,896
What's my name, nigga?
287
00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:07,164
[GRANDDAD YELLS]
288
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:08,399
"Ahhh" ain't my name.
289
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,967
My mama didn't name "Ahhh. "
290
00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:13,071
What's my name, nigga?
What's my name?!
291
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,039
HUEY:
Stinkmeaner.
292
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,573
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
293
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,775
That's right, nigga.
294
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,075
Mr. DuBois?
295
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:19,944
I don't know how
you got here, Stinkmeaner,
296
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,245
but you're going
back to hell.
297
00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:23,581
Oh, yeah!
I'm going back.
298
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:24,916
And I'm taking y'all with me
299
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,819
in the first-class cabin
on the ass-whupping express.
300
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,055
All aboard. Whoo-whoo!
301
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,523
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
302
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,024
[STINKMEANER LAUGHS]
303
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,692
Yeah.
304
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:38,229
You ain't too nigga to get
that ass whupped. Uh-huh.
305
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,431
[GROWLING]
306
00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:42,001
Bring it on, Huey.
307
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,613
STINKMEANER: Whoo, come on.
Come on, braids.
308
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,700
STINKMEANER:
All right, here we go.
309
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,103
Is that all you got?
310
00:12:19,104 --> 00:12:20,437
[LAUGHING]
311
00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:21,940
Get a bar.
312
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:25,143
Get your bars up, nigga.
313
00:12:28,613 --> 00:12:30,115
[STINKMEANER YELLS]
314
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:31,616
[GRUNTS]
315
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:32,783
GRANDDAD:
Yeah!
316
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,619
STINKMEANER: Whoa!
Yeah, I got you now.
317
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,589
Get off me, you bitch ass,
you faggot ass!
318
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,525
GRANDDAD:
Not the lamp. No.
319
00:12:41,826 --> 00:12:44,596
Damn it, boy. You know
how much that lamp cost?
320
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,531
STINKMEANER:
I'm a-kill you.
321
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,832
You beat me
in the parking lot.
322
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,468
GRANDDAD:
Not the vase. No!
323
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:52,236
STINKMEANER:
I want my parking space.
324
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:54,572
Boy, not the geisha. It's-
It's a collectable.
325
00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:56,841
[STINKMEANER YELLS]
326
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,977
[GROANING]
327
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:02,613
RILEY: That's what you
get, motherfucker.
328
00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:04,515
Punching me in my stomach.
329
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:07,018
[SIGHS, WHIMPERS]
330
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,119
[?]
331
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,922
Why we gotta put
the nigga in my bed?
332
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,424
GRANDDAD:
What the hell got into Tom?
333
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,760
He's possessed
by the ghost of Stinkmeaner.
334
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:16,994
Remember the dream I had?
335
00:13:16,995 --> 00:13:18,429
Boy, don't nobody
listen to you.
336
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,298
My bed ain't
the only bed up in here.
337
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,632
Should we take him
to the doctor?
338
00:13:21,633 --> 00:13:25,102
What if he pees in the bed
or vomit, or shoots a deuce?
339
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:26,137
[DOORBELL RINGS]
340
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,473
Oh, Lordy Lord, my date.
341
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,641
HUEY:
Granddad,
342
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,177
Tom is possessed
by an evil spirit
343
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,778
and just tried to kill us.
344
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:36,915
Lives are at stake.
345
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:40,852
[DOORBELL RINGS] Coming.
346
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,124
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
347
00:13:49,928 --> 00:13:52,063
Well, hello, cutie pie.
348
00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:56,835
[FOREIGN ACCENT] Well, hello.
349
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,769
[GIGGLES]
350
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:03,207
Uh, sorry about earlier.
351
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:04,509
I was rushing, and...
352
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,779
Oh, I think men who are
comfortable with their bodies
353
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,947
are very sexy,
354
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:13,684
especially men
with big round bellies.
355
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:14,685
[CHUCKLES]
356
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:15,686
Really?
357
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:19,056
And I like to cook,
mostly pork.
358
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:21,326
I like to clean too.
Wow.
359
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,393
You're not a man, are you?
360
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:23,994
[LAUGHS]
361
00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:24,963
No.
362
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:26,431
[GRUNTING]
363
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,168
[?]
Robert Freeman!
364
00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:32,269
[STINKMEANER YELLING]
365
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:34,439
Darling, all the women
of my cultu...
366
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,141
STINKMEANER: Come here and fight
like a man, you bad nigga!
367
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:38,443
Who is that?
368
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,977
I don't hear anything.
369
00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:42,179
STINKMEANER:
I know you hear me, Robert!
370
00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:44,081
I know you hear me!
Ain't this a bitch.
371
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:46,216
I will not be ignored!
Got a possessed nigga here,
372
00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:49,287
and Granddad's
worried about a date.
373
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:52,123
Get off me!
You got a date, Robert?!
374
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:55,593
Did you tell her that you got
two sets of genitals?
375
00:14:55,594 --> 00:15:00,597
A vagina and a coochie.
Oh, that's a conjunction.
376
00:15:00,598 --> 00:15:01,833
What is going on?
377
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,201
Oh- Oh, that?
That's just the television.
378
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:06,704
Boys, turn
the television down!
379
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:09,973
STINKMEANER: This ain't no TV show, nigga.
This is real talk, nigga.
380
00:15:09,974 --> 00:15:11,341
[WOMAN HUFFS]
381
00:15:11,342 --> 00:15:13,777
My friends warned me that there
were weirdoes on MySpace.
382
00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:16,214
GRANDDAD:
Wait, no. That's just the TV.
383
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,849
It's not the fact
that you obviously have a man
384
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:22,520
possessed by an evil spirit
strapped to a bed upstairs.
385
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,389
It's not?
No.
386
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:27,324
It's the fact
that you lied about it.
387
00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:28,358
Huh?
388
00:15:28,359 --> 00:15:29,593
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
389
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:30,594
[GROWLS]
390
00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:32,329
STINKMEANER:
You better leave.
391
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,933
MAN [OVER PHONE]: You've reached
the national headquarters
392
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,200
of the Catholic Church.
393
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,801
No one is available
to take your call.
394
00:15:37,802 --> 00:15:39,937
If you would like to report
sexual abuse-
395
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:42,740
Damn, there's got to be somebody
we can call for an exorcism.
396
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:44,141
STINKMEANER:
You is a bitch!
397
00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:46,077
[?]
398
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,555
May white God bless you,
Robert.
399
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:01,258
I came as fast as I could.
400
00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,695
So this is the plan...
Uncle Ruckus.
401
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,330
RUCKUS:
Let's get this party started.
402
00:16:06,331 --> 00:16:07,531
STINKMEANER:
? Oh, yeah?
403
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:09,567
You got bad credit, Robert!
404
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:12,470
RUCKUS: Removing an evil-nigga
spirit from a Negro is
405
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,072
as hard as removing the stank
from a hunk of shit.
406
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:17,607
We must use these tools
that the great God
407
00:16:17,608 --> 00:16:19,510
has given us to fight niggas.
408
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:24,281
A whip, a noose,
a nightstick, a branding iron.
409
00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:27,017
These things strike fear
into a nigga's heart.
410
00:16:27,018 --> 00:16:28,920
A job application.
411
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,554
Avoid conversation
with the nigga.
412
00:16:30,555 --> 00:16:32,222
STINKMEANER:
You ain't right, Robert.
413
00:16:32,223 --> 00:16:35,526
RUCKUS: The nigga will lie.
The nigga will make excuses.
414
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,895
He will use words
he don't really know.
415
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:42,733
If he gets really desperate,
he may start to rap or dance.
416
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:46,603
STINKMEANER: You all, uh,
testicles and no shaft.
417
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:47,637
Ah, yeah.
418
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:48,939
What happened to your shaft?
419
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:52,075
There's powerful niggadry
at work here.
420
00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:53,411
[WIND WHISTLING]
421
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,945
Who in the hell are you?!
422
00:16:54,946 --> 00:16:58,915
Nigga, my name is Reverend
Father Uncle Ruckus.
423
00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:00,117
No relation.
424
00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:01,786
In the name of white Jesus
425
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:04,555
and all great white men
who have come thereafter,
426
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:08,559
I command thy black nigga soul
back to the depths of hell.
427
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,128
[STINKMEANER LAUGHING]
428
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:13,331
Is that all you got, nigga?
429
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,898
Oh, no, nigger.
430
00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:18,002
That's just the tip
of this iceberg.
431
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:19,803
Read, nigga, read!
432
00:17:19,804 --> 00:17:21,606
[YELLING] No!
433
00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:25,710
Whoa!
434
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,612
Now, Robert, now.
Just hit him with anything.
435
00:17:28,613 --> 00:17:30,782
Come on, everybody join in.
[WHIP CRACKS]
436
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,916
Use your powerful hands.
This is gonna be funny.
437
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:34,619
Let's whup this nigga's ass.
438
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,787
Repeat after me
the holy phrase:
439
00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:38,856
nigga, get your black ass
outta here.
440
00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,958
Nigga, get your black ass
outta here.
441
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:42,994
RUCKUS: Yeah, take
that you black cricket.
442
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:46,463
ALL: Nigga, get your
black ass outta here.
443
00:17:46,464 --> 00:17:48,866
Nigga, get your black ass
outta here.
444
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:50,634
STINKMEANER:
I'm a-join in too.
445
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:53,838
ALL: Nigga, get your
black ass out of here.
446
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,105
Keep going!
447
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,609
ALL: Nigga, get your
black ass outta here.
448
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:01,512
This isn't an exorcism,
it's a beating.
449
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:03,047
There's very little difference.
450
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,915
ALL: Nigga, get your
black ass outta here.
451
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:07,718
Ah, you niggas ain't shit!
452
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,687
Your mothers ain't shit.
453
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,856
[SIGHS]
454
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,591
HUEY: Several hours later,
the exorcism of Tom DuBois
455
00:18:14,592 --> 00:18:16,993
had made
no recognizable progress.
456
00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:18,329
Is the nigga still in him?
457
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,364
As long as he's black
and breathing,
458
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,966
he's got nigga in him.
459
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:24,267
[LAUGHING]
460
00:18:24,268 --> 00:18:25,536
Ow!
461
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,704
GHOSTFACE: What the fuck
is wrong with you, Huey?
462
00:18:27,705 --> 00:18:29,773
You retarded? You gonna
beat the man's brains in
463
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:31,275
and what you gonna say
to the cops?
464
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,877
"Sorry, officer,
we killed the nigga
465
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,145
'cause he had
a evil spirit"?
466
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,413
Ghost, it's late.
467
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,582
Can you just tell me what to do,
so I can go to bed?
468
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,484
I can't believe you haven't
figured this shit out yet.
469
00:18:40,485 --> 00:18:41,952
Peace.
470
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,887
STINKMEANER:
You got imaginary friends?
471
00:18:43,888 --> 00:18:47,358
Peace? Peace? Peace.
472
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,294
Stinkmeaner, you hate
black people, don't you?
473
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,828
I sure do.
474
00:18:51,829 --> 00:18:54,498
I mean, I hate
everyone in general,
475
00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:56,334
but black people especially.
476
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,335
And- And, Ruckus,
you hate black people too.
477
00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:00,905
I wouldn't exactly call them
people, but yeah.
478
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,841
Yeah, I have a deep distaste
for Negroids.
479
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,444
Right, right. And, Stinkmeaner,
I bet you hate rap music.
480
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:07,645
If you can call that old
481
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,380
stanky-booty
gorilla noise "music. "
482
00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:12,215
Heh-heh. "Stanky-booty. "
483
00:19:12,216 --> 00:19:15,219
I must say that's a brilliant
observation, 'Meaner.
484
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,054
HUEY: I had forgotten,
a nigga moment
485
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:18,890
cannot be resolved
through violence.
486
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,158
But where there's harmony
and peace-
487
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,927
What? What's happening?!
488
00:19:23,928 --> 00:19:26,529
No! You tricked me.
489
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:27,632
[YELLING]
490
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,768
-a nigga moment
cannot exist.
491
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,238
STINKMEANER:
No! You tricked me!
492
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,607
I'm gonna get you eventually,
Robert.
493
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,810
You hear me, nigga?!
494
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,513
[SIGHS]
495
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,915
[SIGHS]
496
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,883
[?]
497
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,723
[YAWNS]
498
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:54,258
TOM [NORMAL VOICE]:
Hey, guys.
499
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:56,126
What are you doing here?
500
00:19:56,127 --> 00:19:57,862
RUCKUS:
Well, another nigga
501
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:01,098
successfully exorcised
and/or beaten.
502
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,799
I'll send you
an invoice, Robert.
503
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,336
Possessed or not,
you gonna fix my damn house.
504
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:06,771
You gonna have another demon,
505
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,906
it's gonna be my foot
up your ass.
506
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,375
Why am I in Riley's bed?
507
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,178
RILEY: You know, that's
a real good question.
508
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,813
Why are you in my bed?
509
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,014
All the beds in this house
510
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,116
and I got the possessed nigga
in my bed.
511
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:21,987
Ain't this a bitch?
Some old bullshit.
512
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,423
[?]
513
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:30,023
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