All language subtitles for Pie.in.the.Sky.S05E01.Squashed.Tomatoes.AMZN-Hi OFF

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I got it.

Good morning, sir.

If you´d like to park
straight ahead.

Henry?

Derek Willis.
You remember -- Bramshill, ´76.

Oh, yes, of course

But, uh, what on earth
are you doing here?

Well, I´m supposed to be
sorting out the parking, sir.

The parking?

Henry Crabbe
in charge of parking?

Well, it´s a long story.

But how on earth
did that happen?

Well, actually, sir, it all
started out with a Green Zebra.

-Green Zebra.

It´s a variety of tomato, sir.

Go on.
Taste it.

Mmm! Good God.

Something else, innit?
Here, try this.

Scotland Yellow.

And this...

This is a Brandywine.

Thing is,
nobody grows ´em anymore.

Except me, right?

So you got to promise to keep
schtum where you got ´em.

-Yes, yes, yes.

-Morning.
-Hello, Gary.

-Come in.
-Hey. Mutant tomatoes.

Cult.
Cult tomatoes.

Here. Try this.

Have a taste of Scotland Yellow.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah.

Top tomato, this, H.

Three tomato salad
for starters, eh?

All different colors.

Olive oil, balsamic vinegar,
basil.

Yeah. Or rocket salad
and Parmesan shavings.

Oh, yes, yes. We´ll definitely
take some of these.

Okay, but remember --

Don´t say where you got ´em.

All right.

Sally´s here.

Sally, welcome!

-How lovely to see you.
-Hi.

Now, this is Gary,
who´s our chef here.

Hello.

Gary, say hello to Sally,
our new waitress.

Hi.

And this is Henderson,
who´s our fruit-and-veg man

who occasionally helps out
in the kitchen.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Henry, you´re starting
a new job too, you know?

Don´t remind me.

I´ll try and look in
around lunchtime.

Good luck.

Perhaps you could take me
through the lunch menu.

Yeah.
In a minute.

This is a Big Boy.

Fancy a slice?

Do you think Gary
will be all right?

Oh, he´ll be fine.
It´s you I´m worried about.

-This new job.

Don´t let it get to you.

Don´t let Fisher get to you.

-Morning.

-Good morning, sir.
-Morning, morning.

This, the first Public Duties
Squad in the country,

is at the cutting edge
of the new police service.

Why shouldn´t those
who can afford it

pay for their policing?

Many duties previously carried
out by police officers

are now outsourced to
private firms and individuals.

Now, why not go further?

Why not promote this practice
from within the service?

This groundbreaking initiative
of mine is designed

to ease the burden
on the taxpayer,

to generate income
which will better equip us

to fight the battle
against crime.

Jenny, I think a photograph now,
don´t you?

D.I. Henry Crabbe.
Who are you?

P.C. Jane Morton.

P.C. Ed Guthrie.
Any idea what he´s on about?

I´m afraid so, yes.

Generating income
from our human resources.

Cops for hire.

Policing for those
who can afford it.

You heard my press statement.
It´s all quite clear, Crabbe.

What, the Public Duties Squad?

It´s public in the sense

that public schools are public,
I suppose.

Cherrytree Close.

It´s a new housing development

for the younger executive
and so on.

The first buyers move in
in two days´ time,

but there´s been opposition
to the site

and the developers want someone
to keep an eye on the place.

That means you
and your new squad, Crabbe.

But surely that´s a job
for a security firm, sir.

Lion Security
were under contract,

but they didn´t
come up to scratch.

You´re to meet Charles Carver
of Drumcastle Developments

on-site at 1600 hours.

And remember, Crabbe,

you´re working
in a service industry now.

You must see the general public
as your customers.

You know what that means,
don´t you?

The customer´s always right?

It´s gonna make arresting
them rather difficult, isn´t it?

Two crumbles and a custard,
please, Gary.

I don´t know what you put
in that steak and kidney pie,

but it certainly does the trick.

That guy on table four,
he practically inhaled his.

Well, it´s the house
speciality, isn´t it?

Who´s she?

Her name´s Nicola.

She used to work here.

So why did she leave?

-Look, if you don´t mind --
-I´m sorry. I didn´t mean to...

Henry just rang.

He says he can´t pick up
the tomatoes until later on,

can you do another starter
for tonight?

Did he say what?

Yes.
Onion and something tart.

Onion and anchovy tart.

Right.

I´ll have a word
if he´s being difficult.

It´s okay.

If I can´t deal
with a stroppy chef,

I may as well pack it in now.

So you go through the village,

stay on the Barstock Road,
and then turn left.

Sir.

It´s not a bad motor, this,
actually.

Nice gearbox.
Good brakes.

From what I´ve heard
about your driving,

we´re gonna need them.

If you´re referring to

what I think
you´re referring to,

I wasn´t driving at the time.

Oh, right.
I remember now.

It was some senior officer,
wasn´t it?

Yeah.

Then again, you´d know all about
senior officers, wouldn´t you?

What´s that supposed to mean?

Excuse me,
would somebody tell me

what this conversation
is all about?

Nothing, sir.

-Just a bit of fun, sir.

Well, in future, there´ll be
no fun on this squad

until I give permission.

-Sir.
-Sir.

You´re here at last.
Where the hell have you been?

What do you mean,
where the hell have I been?

Never mind that. What about
the state of this lawn?

You´re supposed to have
had it all fully turfed.

I´ve got to buy the turf first,
haven´t I?

-I got to pay out cash for it.
-Yes, all right.

Can we discuss this later on,
please, Dove?

All I´m saying is
I´m paying out every day

and I haven´t had a penny yet.

Turf like that
don´t grow on trees, you know?

Mr. Carver?

Yes, just --
just one moment please.

Please will you just
get on with it, Dove?

We´ll -- We´ll sort
this out tomorrow.

I´m Charles Carver.

Henry Crabbe,
Detective Inspector.

-Good afternoon.
-Ah, uniformed police officers.

A sight for sore eyes.

Well, shall we step
into the show home,

and we´ll run through
your duties?

Thank you.

Right.

The downstairs toilet
is, uh -- is here.

And the kitchen is, uh...

Yes, well, the kitchen is --

Yeah, that´s right.
It´s just through there.

But, uh, please
stay out of the other rooms.

Thank you.

As you know, our first buyers
move in in two days´ time,

so let´s try and keep the place
spick and span, shall we?

No treading mud in and out,
and so on.

Of course, any breakages will be
deducted from your fee.

So there we have it.
Um...

Ah, yes.
Key to the front door.

- Key to the back door.
- Thank you.

A word of advice, Inspector --

Keep an eye out the back.

Woodfield village
is just across that field there,

and there are people
in the village who are very --

Well, they´re very anti
the estate.

I mean, you bring jobs
and housing into the area,

and people complain about the
view from their bedroom window.

Um, Assistant Chief Constable
Fisher said

that you´d been having
some problems.

But when I checked the records,

I found that you hadn´t reported
any incidents.

Ah, yes. Yes.

Well, there, um...

There were incidents,
but as to actual witnesses...

You see, the fact is
the security company

just weren´t up to it.

Ah.

And now our policy
is to -- to prosecute.

So, um, you will escort
all trespassers off the estate,

and I believe the law permits
you to use, um,

reasonable force to do so.

Mr. Carver, trespass is not
of itself an offense

unless the trespasser
causes damage.

It´s the damage that´s criminal,
you see, not the trespass.

Um, yes...

Uh, yes, well,
I´m not here to debate

the, um -- the vagaries
of the law with you, Inspector.

This is private property,

and your job
is to keep people off it.

Um, here´s where you can
contact me, if you need me.

Any problems,
and let me know immediately.

Right.

- Goodbye.
- Thank you.

Right.

I want you two
to go ´round the close.

Check for any damage at all,
anything out of place --

Whether it was done
by cowboy builders

or by vandals, I don´t care.

Write it down.

Because I will not have
that bloke Carver

claiming it happened
while were here, okay?

Sir?

Guthrie´s found something
in the house next door.

Yeah, they didn´t break in.
The door was unlocked.

Squatters?

Well, they´re quite house-proud,
whoever they are.

Yeah.
He or she?

He.

Radio, razor.

Hardly an alternative lifestyle,
is it?

Maybe this is who´s been
causing all the trouble.

What, they didn´t realize
there was camping

in one of their own houses?

No wonder that security firm
got the sack.

I get the feeling
this is the sort of bloke

that´ll come back
for this stuff.

Oh, that´s a beauty.
I´ll have that one.

- Afternoon.
- Oh, uh, hello, Crabbe.

This is, um...
This is, um...

-Jim.
-Yes! This -- This is Jim!

Hello, Jim.

Thank you, Jim,
and s-see you again soon, Jim.

Thank you, Leon.

Must dash.

-Right. Bye-bye now.
-Bye, Jim.

You´ve got
some really weird people

hanging ´round your place
these days, Henderson.

Are you sure you haven´t gone
back to growing wacky

Didn´t you recognize him?

No.
Why

He´s only our honorable member,
isn´t he?

He´s only Mr. James Truman MP.

Oh, really?

Yeah, he´s growing
his own runner beans.

Grandad´s Multicolored.
Black Emperors.

He´s got some lovely ones
coming up.

Mind you, he can´t get enough
of my toms!

No, well, speaking of which,
where are mine?

Uh, there´s, um -- There´s been
a bit of a hitch there, Crabbe.

What?
What do you mean?

Well, s-stocks are low.

There aren´t any ready
for picking.

What are you talking a--

He´s had them, hasn´t he?
You´ve given my toms to Jim!

K-Keep --
Keep your hair on, Crabbe.

Keep my hair on?!
Look, listen to me.

I´ve had a really bad day today,
Henderson.

It´s barely halfway through.

Now you tell me
some simpering politician´s

gone walking off
with my Green Zebras.

Well, thanks a lot!

Two soups, one soufflé,
and a liver and bacon, please.

Oh, and the guy on table four

would like a potato pancake
with his liver instead of mash.

What?

Well, I said I didn´t think
it would be a problem.

The pancake is for the salmon
roe and the crème fraîche.

I thought you could
just swap them ´round.

The gentleman can have
the potato pancakes

with his liver and bacon
if he wishes, Sally.

But please take those plates in
before they congeal.

Right.

New customer at the bar, Sally.
I´ve given her a drink.

Okay.

I didn´t know we had sandwiches
on the menu.

Well, I´m a night watchman now,
didn´t you know?

Oh, my hero!

Working nights,
eating sandwiches.

Hi there.

So there are no tomatoes on
the menu in any shape or form?

-I´m afraid not.

There´s a delicious green salad.

Well, would you ask the chef
if he has any?

Of course I will.

You´re not gonna believe this.

There´s this woman on eight
demanding tomatoes.

There aren´t any, I tell her.
And she says, "Ask the chef."

She´s after tomatoes?
Let me have a look.

Bloody Nora.
It´s her.

What do you mean, it´s her?

Seen her around my place.

Bet she wants to get her hands
on my toms.

She´s not the only one.

It´s industrial espionage.

You mean vegetable espionage.

You can laugh,

but it´s dog-eat-dog
in the fruit-and-veg business!

Mmm.

What´s in this?

Oh, it´s just leftovers,
I´m afraid.

Chicken and bacon terrine
and green chutney.

-It´s true, then.

-You make great sandwiches.

Have you and Guthrie
ever worked together before?

No. Why?

Well, you were giving
his driving such a hard time

on the way over earlier on.

I wondered
what that was all about.

You haven´t heard
Guthrie´s story?

No.

P.C. Guthrie drives this very
senior officer to a charity do.

The senior officer
has a few drinks, feels great,

decides that he´ll drive home.

Well, Guthrie says no,
and they argue.

Guthrie gives in,
sits in the passenger´s seat.

The senior officer
drives the car into a field,

tells Guthrie to say
that he was driving.

Well, Guthrie says no,
and they argue.

Guthrie gets out of the car,
falls in a ditch,

and bangs his head
on an old gas stove.

When he comes to, he´s strapped
to the driver´s seat,

surrounded by uniforms.

Well, it´s a good story.

-Yours is even better.

Go on, then.

Okay.

You were destined
for great things.

But a rebellious streak

means you never make it past
detective inspector.

You spend years going after
top villain Dudley Hooperman.

You and Hooperman
share an interest

in good food and fine wine.

You become friends.

Hooperman bribes you
and flees the country.

You open
a gourmet French restaurant.

The restaurant makes a fortune.

Hooperman hides the money
for you in Switzerland.

Then disaster.

Hooperman´s killed
in a plane crash.

You can´t find the money.

So here you are chasing
trespassers on a building site.

Well, that´s a good story too.

I particularly like
the bit about

the gourmet
French restaurant.

What´s your story, then?

Me?
I haven´t got a story.

Oh, I think you do have a story,
Constable Morton.

Otherwise you wouldn´t be here.

Well...

There´s someone coming
across the field, Morton.

Okay.

Turn the light down.

He´s going into
the house opposite.

Coming your way, Guthrie.

Yeah, received.

Aah!

Come here, you!

Good evening.

So I get a job at Lion Security.

But we can´t find anywhere
to live,

so we´re stuck
at Kelly´s parents.

Kelly´s my wife, right.

And I´m getting all this grief
from her mum.

There´s ructions every night
about something.

Is that a sandwich
in there, sir?

Just get on with it.

So I go out one night
and have a beer with the lads.

When I get back,
there´s this slight accident

with her mum´s china squirrels.

The next day I come back,
I´m locked out.

So suddenly I´m homeless.
I´m on the street.

Anyway, we´re working here
on the close,

so I moved in next door.

Can I have a sandwich now?

Oh. Here.

True story.
You can call my governor.

Don´t worry, I intend to.

And if there´s so much as a
scratch on any of these houses,

it´s criminal damage, right?

Now, I want you
out of here tonight, Francis.

Please, sir, don´t chuck me out
in the middle of the night.

I must be going mad.

All right,
first thing tomorrow morning.

-Course I do.

I want to be with her, don´t I?
She´s my wife.

Yeah, and she´s married to you,
not her mum.

You´ve got to stand up
to them both.

It´s the only way
you´ll get any respect.

Stand up to them.
Yeah!

That´ll just make things worse.

You´ve got to
win her mother over.

-Talk to her.
-Talk to her.

Yeah!

Look, the only advice
you need to follow

is to be out of here by the time
I get back tomorrow, okay?

Now, Guthrie,
you´re on your own till 8:00.

-And keep an eye on him.
-Sir.

Um, Francis...

Who was causing the trouble?

What trouble?

You know, the vandalism,
trespassing.

I mean, that´s the reason your
lot got the sack, wasn´t it?

No.
There wasn´t any trouble.

And anyway, we weren´t sacked.

Our governors took us off the
job ´cause we never got paid.

Oh.

-Good question.

-Morning, Inspector!

Morning!

Haven´t you heard
about Morton, gov?

No, I haven´t.
And don´t call me gov.

Well, they say Morton was, uh,
over the side

with this chief constable,
right.

I mean, some people even say
it was the Home Secretary.

Anyway, they´re mad for each
other, but he´s married, right.

I mean, can´t leave his wife,
can he, ´cause of the scandal.

But by now Morton knows
where all the bodies are buried.

She could practically
bring the government down.

So he has to do a deal, right?

She has to spend
a year in obscurity --

you know,
till the dust settles --

and then she´s back
on the fast track.

I´ll tell you, she´ll probably
be the first woman commissioner.

Either that
or standing for Parliament.

Apparently she hasn´t
made up her mind yet.

Guthrie, have personnel made up
a psychological profile of you?

No. Why?

Thanks very much.

Morning, sir.

Oi!

They´re only climbing over
the back fence!

Come on.

Oi!

Get those dirty boots
off my turf.

See?

Oh, look, everyone!

Uniformed police.
They must be getting desperate.

You´re all trespassing.
This is private property.

Yes, it is.

And there´s a public highway
running right through it.

The highway must be kept open
and available

for public use at all times.

-That´s right!
-Well said, Ken.

There´s a public footpath
from Woodfield village

running right through here,

and they´ve put a house
right smack on top of it.

Uh, are you absolutely
sure about that, Ken?

Are you sure you don´t want to
recheck the map?

Of course I´m sure!

I hope
I don´t have to remind you

that obstructing the highway
or damaging its surface

are criminal offenses
under the 1980´s Highways Act.

If you arrest us
or use unreasonable force,

you may be liable
to civil action!

Well, he´s not
going to do that!

Are you?

Madam, I have no intention
of doing either.

Are you sure?

Sir.

Take over here.

Move back, please.

All right, all right.
We´re going. We´re going.

What´s this all about,
Mr. Carver?

Uh...

Well, there -- there is -- was

a slight problem
about a footpath.

Um, but we are
having negotiations

with the county council

and things are proceeding
as they should, Inspector.

Those, um...

Those people are trespassing.

Yes, well, I think
it´s a little early

to start taking a hard line
on this.

I would suggest,
with your permission,

that we let these people
cross the property

in an orderly fashion.

And then perhaps we can clarify
this "slight problem" of yours.

The whole point
of you being here

is to stop
this sort of nonsense.

I mean, what kind of a policeman
are you, anyway?

The legal kind.

You know
I´m in the Amblers Association.

I just haven´t been out
with them for awhile.

Ken Wainwright rang

and asked if I wanted to
check up on some old footpaths.

"What do you like to do with
your spare time, Mrs. Crabbe?"

"Oh, I like to go ´round
the countryside with my mates,

the Stroppy Senior Citizens,

and do a nice bit
of trespassing."

I wasn´t trespassing!
I didn´t jump over the fence!

No, but you were going to.

Look, if had known
you were working for them,

I´d have talked them ´round.

Honestly I would.

I know Ken´s
an irritable old so-and-so,

but he knows his stuff.

If he says there´s
a public right of way

across that estate,
there will be.

Look...

It´s not my problem.

It´s between the council
and the developers.

It is your problem.

You´re working
for the developers!

Look, I know what to do
about this path.

You need a definitive map,
and you can find one

in the highways department
at County Hall.

We can go there together.

Come on, Henry, it´ll be fun!

Fun.

There it is.
There, there.

No.
Somewhere ´round there.

-No, it´s --
-Wait.

Yes.
That´s Woodfield village.

Here´s the Barstock Road.

Goes through the village,
turns right,

and the new houses should be
just around about there.

And dotted line is a footpath.

Very close.

Right.

Yes, you´re quite right about
Cherrytree Close, Mrs. Crabbe.

When Drumcastle Developments

were granted
planning permission,

we gave them the standard
warning that the footpath

would have to be protected
or diverted.

Why didn´t they just divert it?

The developers did apply
a couple of times

for an order to divert,
but there were objections.

They were unable
to resolve the objections,

so they dropped the application

and carried on building
regardless.

Thought nobody would notice.
Typical.

So, um, w

We served them
with a Section 143,

requiring them
to remove the obstruction.

What, you mean
knock the house down?

No, fortunately
that won´t be necessary.

The footpath runs
directly through the house.

Removal of the front
and back doors will suffice.

The section gives them
28 days to comply.

Those 28 days run out...

Uh, d-don´t tell me --
Tomorrow?

Ah, yes.
Spot on, Inspector.

We´ll be there, of course,
to make sure they comply.

Still, we shouldn´t have
any trouble with you around.

They´re gonna take the doors
off the house

because of some ruddy footpath?

So it would seem, sir.
Tomorrow, in fact.

But tomorrow´s the day
Drumcastle hand over keys

to the first residents.

Yes, well, that´s why they
hired us in the first place --

So it would appear
that Drumcastle

had the law on their side.

Jenny?

Well, it doesn´t look too good,
does it?

Police officers
working arm in arm

with developers
who are flouting the law?

Good God.

On the other hand,

officers standing by while
the doors are ripped off

some newlyweds´ first home...

Good
Telegenic?

I have no idea.

But I know there won´t be
any embarrassment

about Drumcastle paying for us.

-Well, they´re broke.

Lion Security never got paid.
Nor did anyone else.

Oh, God Almighty.

Can I suggest D.I. Crabbe

handles the press
on this one, sir?

He´s been on the site.

He´s got a good grasp
of the situation.

It is only a civil matter,
after all.

There´s no need for a senior
officer to get involved.

Yeah.
Excellent idea.

Thank you, Jenny.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, look, is it always
gonna be this way,

or are you just having
a bad week?

Okay.

Fair enough.

There´s just one thing
you ought to know.

Any day now, Nicola will be
coming back through that door.

Any day now, she´s gonna wake up

and realize
she made a big mistake.

I´m sure
you´re a very nice person.

But pretty soon Nicola will be
coming back to her old job.

Do you see what I mean?

Listen, Nicola comes back,
I´m out of here -- No problem.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

There´s a small, grubby person

with compost in his hair
headed this way,

and that can only mean
one thing.

Tomatoes.

-Got your toms, Crabbe.
-Marvelous.

-Green Zebra.
-Yes!

We should serve these stuffed.

With bread crumbs,
sprig of parsley,

touch of garlic,
and a spot of olive oil.

And then cooked long and slow
in a low, low oven.

Yeah.

Nice one, Chef.

Mind your backs!
Whoa!

Henry, there´s someone out there
wants to see you.

And then they´re roasted slowly
in the oven.

I´ve tried them.
They´re delicious.

-Green tomatoes, you said.
-Yeah, but they are ripe.

They´re a rare variety.
You can´t buy them in shops.

In that case
I´d better try one, hadn´t I?

Okay.

Oh, yes, I remember.
We met in Henderson´s garden.

This is my wife, Anne.

-Hello.

Mr. Truman is here specially
for your tomatoes, Henry.

Oh.

Henderson tipped me off
they were on the menu tonight.

I must say they were delicious!

Absolutely delicious.

Well, I´m glad you enjoyed them.

Henderson told me that you´re
a bit of a runner-bean fanatic.

Indeed I am.

I´ve got some very rare
varieties coming up.

Daniel´s Defiance.
Purple Aztec.

Jim thinks his Black Scarlets

are going to be particularly
magnificent this year,

don´t you, darling?

Do you know,
I´d be very interested

in some runners
for the restaurant.

Now, that´s a marvelous idea.

Some of my runners?

I am honored!

Look, here´s my card.

Thank you.

Give me a ring.
We´ll sort something out.

That´s marvelous.

Fame at last, eh, darling?

Well, good night, now.

Good night.
Thank you.

-There you go, H.
-Oh! Jeez.

-Not quite.

Good evening.
My name is Liz Smiley.

I´m from the Ministry
of Farming and Food.

Can I have a word
with the owner?

And with you, Mr. Henderson?

Illegal?

Are you saying
my toms are illegal?

Since the European Directive
of 1970,

it´s been illegal
to sell seed varieties

that are not registered
on the national list.

Ah, ah! B-But I´m not
selling seeds, am I?

You´re selling tomatoes
with the seeds in them.

That´s not my fault!
They´re designed like that!

Yeah, I mean, people come here

to eat his tomatoes,
not to plant them.

Mr. Henderson, if you agree
to stop selling these varieties,

we´ll think no more about it.

Alternatively,
you could register them.

Oh.
And how do I do that?

It´ll cost you £2,000
per variety

and then approximately £700
a year from then on.

Two grand!
If I had two grand, I´d retire!

What is the point of all this?

The point
is neither here nor there.

Regulations must be kept.
It´s as simple as that.

Yes, but I mean, what´s to
become of the Green Zebra?

Or the Purple Calabash?

Doesn´t the fate
of the Tiger Tom

stir your blood
just the teensiest little bit?

Not my problem.

A tomato is a tomato
is a tomato, Mr. Crabbe.

Come on!
Come on!

Hey, come on!
Come on!

Please open the front door...

Now.

Who are all these people?

Well done, everybody.

That´s my door.

Uh, yes, i-i-if I might just say

that we are of course deeply
sorry for any inconvenience

caused to this, uh --
caused to this young couple,

and we will be making
alternative arrangements

until this unfortunate, um --

well, this -- this --
this most unfortunate --

well, until we´ve resolved
this unfortunate...

I´m sorry,
could I just start that again?

The Highway Authority
did warn the developers

of the situation from day one,

but they ignored the warnings

and failed to take
correct measures.

Of course we take
absolutely no pleasure

in the events of today,

but responsibility does lie
fairly and squarely

with Drumcastle Developments.

Public footpaths
are for the public,

not for developers
to put monstrosities on.

Of course we are
all terribly sorry

about the young couple who --

The countryside
belongs to everybody!

The thin end of the wedge,
this is!

Landowners and developers

think they can ride roughshod
over the law!

Yes, what my friend is saying

is that we´re sure the county
council is doing everything --

I´m 76, and my husband is 78!

Oh, look!
There´s the stile.

It´s up!
Come on, everybody!

Strictly speaking, this isn´t
a police problem at all.

Since we´re aware
that things like this

can cause tensions
in small communities like ours,

the police are here
to ensure fair play.

In fact, I´m pleased to be able
to tell you

that the council workers

have been allowed
to get on with their jobs

without any let
or hindrance whatsoever.

I think Crabbe handled that
rather well.

It was all right, I suppose.

Oh, good morning, Inspector!

Now, listen to me.

If you people think
you´re gonna go marching

backwards and forwards
through this house all day,

then I´ll have you arrested
for holding an illegal rave!

Now, move on!

I don´t understand it, you know?

That bloke
from the council said

you´d applied
to have the path diverted.

Twice. The same person objected
both times.

Who was it?

Mrs. Anne Truman.

You can just see her place
through there.

Would that be
the old manor house?

That´s the one.

The new pathway would have been
200 yards away.

And is Anne Truman the wife
of James Truman MP?

He´s the one that objects.

But it wouldn´t look
very public spirited, would it?

So she signs everything.

It´s like the M1 ´round here.
Hello, Margaret.

Gary said
you might like some lunch.

Oh, that´s very kind.
Thank you.

Are you happy now?

What, to see the law
being upheld?

Yes, I am, actually.

What a lovely kitchen.

It´s so nice
not having food everywhere.

Yes, if you´re looking for
your woolly-hatted friends,

they went thataway.

I´d better check on Ken.
He´s turning into Che Guevara.

Did you know there was a couple
making love in the hall?

What?

Morning, sir.

Oh, it´s you.

This is my wife, Kelly.
We´re together again.

I´m very happy for you.

I met her mum
to talk it through.

Then she started
slagging me off.

Then I did what you said.
I stood up to her.

I said, "Give me some respect,
woman."

Yeah.
That did the trick, did it?

Yeah!
She slung us both out.

Yes, well, now you´re both
obstructing the highway,

so please move on.

I was thinking maybe
we could stay here tonight.

Francis, out.

No.

Didn´t you say
this door was locked?

-It is.

No.

"Snow White."
"The Lion King."

"Bambi."

"Stormtroopers in Suspenders."

Do you know anything
about these, Mr. Carver?

Anxiety attack, sir.

If you think those...

If you think those videos are --

No, Mr. Carver, we don´t think
they´re yours.

Whose are they, then?

What about Francis?
He was working here.

He was even kipping here
on the site.

He copies the videos in there,

then moves them in and out
whenever he wants.

Lion Security pull out
three days early,

Francis hasn´t got time
to move his gear.

Yeah, so he moves in,
sneaks in there,

and tries to fill up
a couple of suitcases.

Do want me to call CID?

I´ll pretend
you didn´t say that, Guthrie.

Just find out where Francis is
working right now

and tell him
he can stay here tonight.

All right.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.

-Hello, Mr. Crabbe.
-Hello.

James is busy with his beans,
as usual.

I´ll show you through
to the kitchen garden.

Thank you.

-Illegal, yes.

If they´re not registered
on this national list.

It´s all to do with seeds,
you see?

And the tomatoes have got
the seeds in them.

I imagine it´s much the same
with runner beans.

Well, if what you say is true,
this is rather worrying.

You and I, Crabbe,
in our respective positions --

We have to be ultra careful
about such things.

Yes. Ultra careful.

Which is why
I wanted to let you know

that Henderson
seems to be determined

to make a bit of a stand
about this.

He seems to fancy himself
as a martyr to rare vegetables.

That´s up to him, of course.

Yes.
Oh, yes, of course.

But, um, the thing is,

he sees you, as an MP,
as a very powerful ally.

He´s convinced
you´ll stand by him.

Stand by him?

Now, before you do that, sir,
I think you ought to know

that Henderson´s already had

a brush with the law
several years ago

concerning the cultivation
of marijuana.

Now, look here.

I can´t afford to be associated
with someone like that.

No, of course not.

But it´s Henderson, you see?
He´s such a hothead.

You don´t know
what he´s gonna do next.

Someone must persuade him
not to do anything foolish.

Surely you have influence
over him.

You could talk to him, Crabbe.

Yes, well, I suppose
I could give it a try.

Ah. Of course, if there´s ever
anything I can do for you...

I don´t suppose you caught
the lunchtime news at all?

-No.
-Ah.

You might have seen an item
there about Cherrytree Close.

Now, that´s in, um...

Oh, it´s in that direction,
isn´t it?

Yes. Why?

Well, it´s a bit of a disaster
in public-order terms.

I was there this morning.

It seems that the developers
have built a house

directly across
a public footpath.

Yes.

Most unfortunate situation,
I believe.

Yeah.

Of course, if the developers
had been allowed

to divert the footpath,
none of this would´ve happened.

But somebody objected.

Not very public spirited, eh?

I see.
I get the picture.

Oh, what picture´s that, sir?

You´ll talk to Henderson,
and I´ll be public

I wouldn´t have thought
you´d be anything else, sir.

Guthrie, he´s here.

Received.

Cocky little sod´s
brought the wife.

Wait a minute.

The van´s going.

Not gonna get the videos
very far without it, are they?

Kelly.

Here we are.

Come on.
Let´s have a rest.

I´m not tired.

I don´t mean a rest.
I mean...a rest.

Well, let´s get something
to eat first

´cause I´m starving.

All right.
Let´s go to the kitchen.

They have wicked
packed lunches, these lot.

-Yeah.

Guthrie, watch it.
They´re going in the kitchen.

Received.

It´s all going very well,
isn´t it, Constable?

Yes.

Some of that.

Some of that.

Bit of pie.

And half a bottle of wine.

´94.

Excellent year.

What are you doing here,
you great twerp?

Hello, Mr. Dove.
What have you got there?

You say a word to anyone
about this, and I´ll --

Before you say a word, Mr. Dove,
I think you ought to know

that I´ve had it up to the back
teeth with gardeners this week.

Footpaths.

Tomatoes.

I thought you were great
on the telly.

Well, thanks. But I thought you
and the woolly hats were best.

Cheers.

Cold chicken,
cheese, and biscuits.

- We´re closed!
- I´ll get it.

He doesn´t still think
that Nicola´s...

It´s for you, Chef.

Oh ho!

Welcome to my gourmet
French restaurant.

We couldn´t get through
on the phone.

That´s because
the phone´s off the hook.

Have a drumstick.

Anyway, Fisher wants to see you
in his office first thing.

Perfect.

Come.

One job, and you´re already
running a deficit.

Drumcastle Developments
not paid up, then, sir?

You know very well they haven´t.

Well, you know, that footpath
is being diverted,

so perhaps they might be able to
sell a couple of their houses.

Point is, Crabbe,
you weren´t supposed to go

swanning around the place
arresting people.

I´m sorry, sir?

That´s for somebody else
to worry about.

Anyway, I don´t think you´ll get
much chance on your next job.

So here I am.

That´s a crying shame, Henry.
Still, a good story, though.

Oh, God, look at the time.
I must get going.

-Well, nice to see you again.
-And you, sir.

Oh, and give my regards to Jane.

Jane?

P.C. Morton.
Old friend of the family.

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