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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:06,140
-Um. pardon me. would it be a bother--?
-Go away.
2
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:09,465
I'm sorry. it's just that
I'm involved in the next case...
3
00:00:09,642 --> 00:00:13,582
...and I was wondering if there was
anything I should know before it starts.
4
00:00:13,746 --> 00:00:16,366
Yes. you have what appears to be
a bushel of spinach...
5
00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:19,279
...wedged between your two front teeth.
6
00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,809
Whoops. Heh-heh.
7
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:26,051
That's always happening with this thing.
8
00:00:26,225 --> 00:00:28,215
[LAUGHING]
9
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:31,494
That's the Yogi Berra model. isn't it?
10
00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:36,199
-If you'll excuse me. Mrs...?
-Oh. Douglas.
11
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:40,268
-But it's Miss. I'm single.
-Did I mention my war wound?
12
00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:43,777
All rise.
13
00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:47,713
Criminal court part two.
city of New York. is now in session.
14
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,910
The Honorable Harold T. Stone
running things.
15
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,989
-Running things?
-I'm on a variety kick.
16
00:00:57,556 --> 00:01:00,386
You may be perched.
17
00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:05,463
First case. Your Honor.
People v. Wilbur Posten.
18
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,760
Assault.
19
00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:12,461
Allegedly hit Mr. Mervyn Jenkins.
a limousine driver, with a horse whip.
20
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:16,627
Ah. spare the rod.
spoil the chauffeur. eh. Mr. Posten?
21
00:01:17,074 --> 00:01:20,914
-Do I have to laugh?
-Legally. no.
22
00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:24,007
Mr. Jenkins was driving a limousine
down Central Park West...
23
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,480
...when Mr. Posten
and his horse-drawn carriage...
24
00:01:26,648 --> 00:01:28,638
...failed to make it through
a yellow light.
25
00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:32,420
I assaulted the man all right.
but he killed my Buttermilk.
26
00:01:32,587 --> 00:01:36,517
And you know something.
she would have been 20. uh....
27
00:01:36,691 --> 00:01:40,721
Let's see. one. two. three.
28
00:01:40,896 --> 00:01:43,986
She would have been 24 in the spring.
29
00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:47,033
Did you ever consider retiring her.
Mr. Posten?
30
00:01:47,202 --> 00:01:51,112
No. My Buttermilk didn't know
the meaning of the word quit.
31
00:01:51,273 --> 00:01:55,143
Apparently. "whoa" was left out
of her repertoire as well.
32
00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:58,940
Your Honor. may I come forward?
33
00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:00,914
If it's relevant to the case.
34
00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:03,350
Oh.
35
00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:07,622
My employer. Your Honor.
Miss Patty Douglas.
36
00:02:07,787 --> 00:02:09,547
DAN:
The Patty Douglas?
37
00:02:10,056 --> 00:02:12,816
The Patty Douglas whose father
owns 28 shopping centers...
38
00:02:12,992 --> 00:02:16,452
...62 hotels and a small town in Ohio?
39
00:02:16,629 --> 00:02:19,529
Yes, sir. That's the heir to $40 million.
40
00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:24,156
Lying sprawled all over the floor there.
41
00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:28,096
-I thought of something that might help.
-You did?
42
00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:32,341
Listen. I feel so sorry about your horse.
43
00:02:32,511 --> 00:02:34,811
I was wondering
if it might make things better...
44
00:02:34,979 --> 00:02:37,349
...if I gave you another one
out of our stables?
45
00:02:39,082 --> 00:02:41,852
-We||--
-I'll make it a racing thoroughbred.
46
00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:44,108
You can call him Mr. Lucky.
47
00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:47,621
-It's a gelding.
-Scratch that.
48
00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:52,817
Lady. you got a deal.
49
00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:56,290
Fine. What about the charges.
Mr. Jenkins?
50
00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:58,256
Oh. well. We can forget about those.
51
00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:00,725
-Can't we. Jenkins?
-Oh. yes.
52
00:03:00,903 --> 00:03:04,343
I'm sure the flogging
was just all in good fun.
53
00:03:04,506 --> 00:03:07,166
Terrific. Case dismissed.
54
00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:13,265
-Miss Douglas.
PATTY: Yes?
55
00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:14,938
About that war wound....
56
00:03:15,116 --> 00:03:18,746
-Oh. yes.
-It's all the way down at my ankle.
57
00:03:20,654 --> 00:03:24,354
Pity leash laws don't apply to men.
58
00:03:25,191 --> 00:03:28,251
Actually. I think Dan's showing
a little more restraint than usual.
59
00:03:28,427 --> 00:03:32,987
Sure. five whole seconds
and we haven't seen his tongue.
60
00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:39,604
She asked me out to dinner.
61
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:41,711
-Are you gonna go?
-No.
62
00:03:42,173 --> 00:03:46,633
She's a graceless social error.
She'd be a public embarrassment.
63
00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:48,441
-You'll take her to your place.
-Yes.
64
00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:49,673
ICHUCKLINGI
65
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:42,828
So the porpoise said.
"What? And lose my Diners Club card?"
66
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,660
That's the joke.
67
00:04:47,172 --> 00:04:48,642
Ah. so it is.
68
00:04:48,807 --> 00:04:50,797
ICHUCKLINGI
69
00:04:51,309 --> 00:04:55,039
Sometimes I even make myself laugh.
70
00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,203
[LAUGHING]
71
00:04:57,816 --> 00:05:01,076
Maybe you should swallow
the cottage cheese first.
72
00:05:03,922 --> 00:05:06,322
Boy. it is so obvious
what he's doing with her.
73
00:05:06,491 --> 00:05:08,191
Yeah.
74
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,090
What?
75
00:05:10,762 --> 00:05:16,572
Bull. Dan is flat broke.
Patty has $40 million.
76
00:05:16,735 --> 00:05:19,355
You figure it out for yourself.
77
00:05:21,306 --> 00:05:24,436
He's gonna stick her
with the check. isn't he?
78
00:05:26,211 --> 00:05:29,581
This may require visual aids.
79
00:05:31,783 --> 00:05:35,223
Well. Patty. you're getting to be
quite a regular around here. aren't you?
80
00:05:35,386 --> 00:05:37,346
-What is it? About two weeks now?
-Mm-hm.
81
00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:41,716
Well. Dan just can't stand
to be away from me...
82
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:46,423
...and I can't resist my little monkey.
83
00:05:48,165 --> 00:05:50,925
An affectionate term
referring to my playful attitude.
84
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:54,541
Actually. it's that little eek-eek sound
you make when we--
85
00:05:54,705 --> 00:05:56,605
Well. yeah. right.
86
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:02,909
Oh. would you look?
Harry's food is getting all cold.
87
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,878
By golly. you're right. See you later.
88
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,580
Cute couple. huh?
89
00:06:11,754 --> 00:06:13,814
Don't tell me you approve
of what he's doing.
90
00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:15,190
What. eating lunch?
91
00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,518
There's more. Harry.
92
00:06:17,692 --> 00:06:19,462
Think check.
93
00:06:21,028 --> 00:06:23,518
I mean. the way he is manipulating
her affections.
94
00:06:23,697 --> 00:06:26,757
You know he would not be
seen with her if she wasn't so rich.
95
00:06:26,934 --> 00:06:30,064
Oh. I'm not so sure
Dan is just after her money.
96
00:06:30,237 --> 00:06:32,827
Maybe he's attracted
to the way she dresses.
97
00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:35,626
Or the way she smiles all the time.
98
00:06:35,809 --> 00:06:39,969
Or the way tartar sauce
dribbles down her chin.
99
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:46,612
Kind of puts money back on top.
doesn't it. sir?
100
00:06:49,521 --> 00:06:52,391
All right. that's it for the warrants.
Let's get started.
101
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:56,758
Oh. Dan. you are such a scream.
102
00:06:56,929 --> 00:07:00,589
Listen. I think you're exceeding
the state noise pollution levels.
103
00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:05,361
Have I told you
how much I love your eyes?
104
00:07:05,537 --> 00:07:07,367
And your nose.
105
00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:11,599
The way it just sort of leads
all the way down to your mouth.
106
00:07:11,777 --> 00:07:15,297
I love your mouth. Have I told you
how much I love your mouth?
107
00:07:15,981 --> 00:07:17,421
Yes.
108
00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:19,853
Would you sit down? I gotta go to work.
109
00:07:20,018 --> 00:07:21,508
-Okay.
-Come on.
110
00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:28,663
Dan. aren't you forgetting something?
111
00:07:29,894 --> 00:07:33,424
Yes. Phil. Patty. Patty. Phil.
112
00:07:37,468 --> 00:07:40,168
I apologize for being late.
It won't happen again. I was--
113
00:07:40,338 --> 00:07:42,568
Having your face immortalized?
114
00:07:43,341 --> 00:07:46,171
Let's be thankful she stopped there.
115
00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:48,714
Let's. Mac?
116
00:07:49,213 --> 00:07:52,053
First case. Your Honor.
People v. Candy Kane.
117
00:07:52,516 --> 00:07:54,636
Solicitation for prostitution.
118
00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:57,579
Defense pleads guilty.
request usual fine and time served.
119
00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,545
Does the state have any objection?
120
00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:02,224
Why should I?
I know what I'm getting into.
121
00:08:06,063 --> 00:08:07,833
That question again?
122
00:08:08,566 --> 00:08:09,856
Read my lips. Dan.
123
00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:13,403
Does the state object to fine
and time served?
124
00:08:13,570 --> 00:08:15,400
Well. no. You think I should? I mean...
125
00:08:15,572 --> 00:08:17,562
...it is when you think of it
my decision--
126
00:08:17,741 --> 00:08:20,871
Why don't I just check these notes?
Because I'm not sure.
127
00:08:21,044 --> 00:08:24,954
I'll take that as a no.
Fifty-dollar fine and time served.
128
00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:29,483
Dan? Dan.
129
00:08:30,185 --> 00:08:33,375
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
130
00:08:36,191 --> 00:08:38,891
What's on my mind is a very personal
and private matter...
131
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:42,361
...and with all due respect.
none of the court's business.
132
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:45,301
He and Patty are getting married.
133
00:08:47,636 --> 00:08:50,626
I've never been good with secrets.
134
00:08:58,547 --> 00:09:00,017
-You ordered champagne?
-Yeah.
135
00:09:00,182 --> 00:09:02,952
-He's getting married.
-Congratulations.
136
00:09:04,219 --> 00:09:08,279
-Go away or I'll kill you.
-Got it.
137
00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:12,281
Look. screw top for easy removal.
138
00:09:13,728 --> 00:09:14,888
Dan. are you okay?
139
00:09:15,495 --> 00:09:18,185
-I can barely eat anymore.
-That's because you're nervous.
140
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:21,332
That's because she takes
all the food off my plate.
141
00:09:22,335 --> 00:09:26,695
-Hey. there's the lucky groom.
-Yeah. hey.
142
00:09:26,872 --> 00:09:29,712
Let the good times roll.
143
00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:33,003
Hi. Dan. We just wanted to come by
and congratulate you.
144
00:09:33,179 --> 00:09:36,239
And here's a little something
for the occasion.
145
00:09:36,415 --> 00:09:40,935
Oh. Mac. You didn't have to.
146
00:09:43,688 --> 00:09:44,848
I mean that.
147
00:09:45,556 --> 00:09:47,646
HARRY: Hey. how about a toast. huh?
BULL: Good idea. sir.
148
00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:50,785
MAC:
Gotta have one. absolutely.
149
00:09:51,227 --> 00:09:53,217
HARRY:
Uh....
150
00:09:54,297 --> 00:09:55,627
Uh....
151
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:59,057
To Dan.
152
00:09:59,769 --> 00:10:01,699
I'm overwhelmed.
153
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,399
IGAGGING AND GROANINGI
154
00:10:09,946 --> 00:10:14,346
Oh. yeah. why spend extra
for the carbonated stuff. huh?
155
00:10:15,218 --> 00:10:16,978
Yoo-hoo!
156
00:10:17,153 --> 00:10:18,813
I got you a present too. Dan.
157
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:23,547
Something wild and exciting.
An exotic dancer.
158
00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:29,359
She's from the Anything Goes agency.
no telling what to expect.
159
00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:31,702
Hi.
160
00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:34,394
I'm Phyllis.
161
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,658
And I'm here to....
162
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:43,609
"Drive you into a frenzy
of uncontrollable desire."
163
00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:45,535
Who's Dan?
164
00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:53,849
This is from Bull.
165
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,512
ICHUCKLINGI
166
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:03,986
-So. Phyllis. is this your regular job?
-Part-time.
167
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:08,604
I make a few extra bucks when
the kids are in school or at Scout meetings.
168
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,602
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYS OVER STEREO]
169
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,260
Couldn't find any socks. huh?
170
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,695
And no touching.
171
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,091
Finish your celery. it's good for you.
172
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:37,088
Well. I got some needlepoint
to catch up on. so....
173
00:11:37,262 --> 00:11:39,292
We're in this together.
174
00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:42,834
Shh. Now it gets really hot.
175
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:53,513
-Dan Fielding?
DAN: Yeah?
176
00:11:53,677 --> 00:11:55,807
I'm Patty's father.
177
00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:59,507
Mr. Douglas. it's a pleasure
to meet you. sir. A pleasure.
178
00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:04,206
This is Harry and Mac and Bull.
179
00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:06,645
And my sister Phyllis.
180
00:12:06,823 --> 00:12:09,723
Hey. Phyllis. that's great. that's great.
181
00:12:09,893 --> 00:12:11,123
Okay. come on. come on.
182
00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:14,593
I think the guys at the VA
are gonna love that. all right?
183
00:12:14,763 --> 00:12:18,673
Now. listen. if you see Mom and Dad.
you tell them that I said hi. okay?
184
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:19,864
And I love them.
185
00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:25,335
They tell me to expect this sort of thing
when men reach their sexual boiling point.
186
00:12:27,209 --> 00:12:31,269
-Who's your friend. Mr. Douglas?
-Biff. he carries my money when I work.
187
00:12:31,447 --> 00:12:34,037
And to think
I've been using a wallet all this time.
188
00:12:34,215 --> 00:12:37,115
All right. let's not waste time.
I've had you investigated.
189
00:12:37,285 --> 00:12:40,305
I investigate every man
that wants my daughter. Patty.
190
00:12:40,487 --> 00:12:43,617
Of course. it's not something
I have to do very often.
191
00:12:44,424 --> 00:12:48,264
But of all the men I've investigated.
you are the bottom of the barrel.
192
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:54,261
You are nothing but a low-level.
penniless government employee.
193
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:58,033
And of course. there's that little matter
of the den mother in Buffalo.
194
00:12:58,504 --> 00:13:01,064
I was just showing her some knots.
I swear.
195
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,700
Mr. Douglas. your daughter
is over 21 years of age.
196
00:13:04,877 --> 00:13:07,677
And if she wants to marry Dan Fielding...
197
00:13:09,315 --> 00:13:11,365
...it's probably legal.
198
00:13:12,218 --> 00:13:15,948
We're talking about my daughter.
my one and only child.
199
00:13:16,122 --> 00:13:18,092
The one who I love most in the world.
200
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:21,557
-I'm going to marry her.
-She's a lump.
201
00:13:22,161 --> 00:13:26,361
Nevertheless. she's going to be my lump.
202
00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,856
I'll give you $20,000 to leave her alone.
203
00:13:34,373 --> 00:13:36,813
-How much?
-Thirty thousand.
204
00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,536
-I'm sorry. I--
-Forty thousand.
205
00:13:38,711 --> 00:13:41,651
-I beg your pardon--
-Fifty thousand. that's my final offer.
206
00:13:48,087 --> 00:13:50,177
Sir. I believe
you should leave the premises.
207
00:13:50,356 --> 00:13:52,046
That is my final offer.
208
00:13:52,225 --> 00:13:55,675
-Close the briefcase. Biff.
-Just one more little peek.
209
00:13:57,163 --> 00:13:58,823
A man who can't be bought.
210
00:13:58,997 --> 00:14:01,657
Your kind makes me sick. Let's go. Biff.
211
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,560
Oh. And if I find out you slept with her.
it is Soprano City.
212
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:11,637
[IN HIGH VOICE]
He means it too.
213
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:20,583
I don't get it. Half a glass of champagne.
and we're all sick.
214
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:25,122
That is the last time I drink anything...
215
00:14:25,289 --> 00:14:28,419
...with "made in Dubuque" on the label.
216
00:14:33,697 --> 00:14:37,457
Billie. please.
Have a little respect for the dead.
217
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:40,225
I can't believe you went out
and celebrated this travesty.
218
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:46,213
I don't know if "celebrated" actually
catches the true spirit of the evening.
219
00:14:46,376 --> 00:14:48,936
We drank some bad champagne.
220
00:14:49,112 --> 00:14:52,242
Patty's dad came by
and offered Dan $50.000...
221
00:14:52,415 --> 00:14:54,575
...not to go through with the marriage.
222
00:14:54,750 --> 00:15:00,420
And the best we could do for entertainment
was the Beaver's mother in a halter top.
223
00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:04,153
Good little dancer. though.
224
00:15:05,893 --> 00:15:10,353
Dan was offered $50,000
to call the wedding off?
225
00:15:10,531 --> 00:15:12,661
Yeah. and he turned it down.
226
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,463
He did?
227
00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:17,369
Well. wait a minute.
of course he turned it down.
228
00:15:17,538 --> 00:15:20,238
He's waiting for the big score.
The whole 40 million.
229
00:15:20,675 --> 00:15:21,835
DAN:
That's not true.
230
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:26,103
I'm sorry. Dan. but it is true.
231
00:15:26,278 --> 00:15:29,178
You're marrying this girl for one reason.
You want the money.
232
00:15:29,715 --> 00:15:31,335
Is that what you think?
233
00:15:32,785 --> 00:15:34,245
Is that what you all think?
234
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:35,940
-No way.
-No. of course not.
235
00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:39,258
-Well. yeah.
-Sort of.
236
00:15:40,892 --> 00:15:44,802
Okay. okay. I admit it.
that in the beginning it was the 40 million.
237
00:15:45,663 --> 00:15:48,263
But over the past two weeks.
something has happened.
238
00:15:48,932 --> 00:15:51,592
Interest has accumulated.
239
00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:55,972
Won't anyone around here
give me a break?
240
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:58,398
Bail reports.
241
00:15:58,574 --> 00:16:02,944
One for Harry. one for Billie.
242
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:06,452
And one for the sleaze puppy.
243
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,810
Yeah. okay. okay. I get the picture.
244
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,317
And I even understand
why you feel this way.
245
00:16:15,658 --> 00:16:17,818
I'm not saying there aren't differences.
246
00:16:17,992 --> 00:16:22,662
Socially. she's a little underprivileged.
247
00:16:23,897 --> 00:16:29,837
But when we're alone.
I feel good. very good.
248
00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:35,231
Relaxed. wanted and accepted.
249
00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:39,839
You know that crazy stuff
that we all carry around inside of us?
250
00:16:40,012 --> 00:16:43,212
That stuff that eats holes in your brain
and churns at your insides?
251
00:16:43,383 --> 00:16:47,953
That stuff that you know you cannot
possibly tell another living human being?
252
00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:50,851
I can tell her.
253
00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:54,727
And she listens. and she understands.
254
00:16:56,129 --> 00:16:58,119
And she says it's all right.
255
00:16:59,999 --> 00:17:01,929
It's all right.
256
00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:04,956
And it is.
257
00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:09,728
Poof. Just like your magic. Harry.
she makes my problems disappear...
258
00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:13,968
...my anxieties subside. God's in his heaven.
all is right with the world.
259
00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:16,706
There's no way to go but up.
look for the silver lining.
260
00:17:16,882 --> 00:17:19,942
I'll be damned if that's not what
every one of us is looking for.
261
00:17:20,118 --> 00:17:23,518
And I just happened to find mine.
so the best of luck to the rest of you.
262
00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:30,694
Ladies and gentlemen.
a small peek into the guts of Dan Fielding.
263
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:33,020
No cover. no minimum.
264
00:17:34,897 --> 00:17:36,827
I'm sorry. Dan. I feel like....
265
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,026
Slug slime?
266
00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:45,473
Well. if you'll excuse me...
267
00:17:47,242 --> 00:17:50,182
...I'm going to have lunch
with my fiancée.
268
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:03,491
Wanna go first
or should we all jump together?
269
00:18:09,164 --> 00:18:11,464
-Hi.
-Sorry I'm late.
270
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:15,902
That's all right. I have just been sitting here
giving thought to our honeymoon.
271
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:18,370
Dan. we have to talk.
272
00:18:18,538 --> 00:18:21,238
Okay. you wanna pick the place
we go on the honeymoon.
273
00:18:21,408 --> 00:18:23,498
Since you're paying for it.
I guess it's fair.
274
00:18:23,677 --> 00:18:29,167
Dan. Daddy threatened to cut off my money
if I go ahead with this marriage.
275
00:18:29,349 --> 00:18:32,509
Cut it off? So you didn't tell him
we've been fooling around?
276
00:18:32,686 --> 00:18:34,246
Dan....
277
00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:38,322
He is absolutely serious.
278
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,122
He would do that to keep us apart?
279
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,633
He doesn't understand
that what we have together...
280
00:18:42,796 --> 00:18:45,766
...is too strong to be ruined
by something as base as money.
281
00:18:46,765 --> 00:18:48,725
No. it isn't.
282
00:18:50,269 --> 00:18:51,329
I beg your pardon?
283
00:18:52,137 --> 00:18:56,267
Dan. I can't marry you.
284
00:18:57,109 --> 00:18:58,769
What? You're talking crazy.
285
00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:00,933
Are you hungry?
Come on. have some zucchini.
286
00:19:01,112 --> 00:19:03,512
Dan. can you imagine me
without money?
287
00:19:03,681 --> 00:19:06,241
Come on. I don't know
how to do anything.
288
00:19:07,685 --> 00:19:08,705
Like what?
289
00:19:09,921 --> 00:19:11,721
Live.
290
00:19:12,090 --> 00:19:16,120
I don't know how to organize
kitchen help.
291
00:19:16,294 --> 00:19:19,464
I don't know which fork to use
for the salad.
292
00:19:19,631 --> 00:19:23,121
I don't even know the difference
between whip and purée.
293
00:19:24,402 --> 00:19:26,302
One is a cooking term.
294
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:33,841
Don't you understand?
I just can't make it.
295
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:36,105
You can try.
296
00:19:36,747 --> 00:19:40,477
I did try once. and I almost died.
297
00:19:41,685 --> 00:19:44,015
-Died?
-Yeah.
298
00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:47,615
I got mad at Daddy
and ran away from home.
299
00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:50,091
-Did you have to live on the streets?
-No.
300
00:19:50,259 --> 00:19:53,319
Jenkins drove me to our condo
in the Hamptons.
301
00:19:54,764 --> 00:19:56,394
My God.
302
00:19:56,899 --> 00:19:59,229
And when I got there.
I didn't have any money.
303
00:19:59,402 --> 00:20:02,242
And all that was in the house
was canned food.
304
00:20:03,806 --> 00:20:07,966
And I didn't know how to work
the electric can opener.
305
00:20:09,145 --> 00:20:13,275
I mean. I know it sounds ridiculous.
but I could've starved.
306
00:20:14,216 --> 00:20:18,876
-You have me to open your cans now.
-Dan. you don't understand. I love you...
307
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:21,385
...but I'm just too scared
to live without money.
308
00:20:21,557 --> 00:20:24,647
I can't do it. I never learned how.
309
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:30,300
You are really terrified. aren't you?
310
00:20:33,469 --> 00:20:35,159
I'm seeing a shrink.
311
00:20:38,573 --> 00:20:43,073
Listen. maybe someday |'||--
312
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:46,609
Learn how to use a can opener?
313
00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:51,318
Yeah.
314
00:20:54,189 --> 00:20:56,019
Goodbye. Dan.
315
00:20:56,925 --> 00:20:57,945
Patty....
316
00:21:04,899 --> 00:21:06,729
I'll get the tip.
317
00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:10,470
I'll miss you.
318
00:21:26,087 --> 00:21:30,577
-Hey. Dan. how's it going?
-Oh. fine. fine. couldn't be better.
319
00:21:30,759 --> 00:21:33,129
Oh. did I mention the wedding's off?
320
00:21:33,895 --> 00:21:38,625
Her dad threatened to cut off her money
if she went through with the marriage.
321
00:21:38,933 --> 00:21:40,633
I told her we didn't need the money.
322
00:21:41,136 --> 00:21:42,926
And she called it off?
323
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:49,198
Yeah. I finally found someone
weaker than me.
324
00:21:50,878 --> 00:21:52,808
Dan. I'm sorry.
325
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,584
I know this isn't much consolation...
326
00:21:55,749 --> 00:22:00,849
...but you did have 14 wonderful days
with that girl.
327
00:22:01,021 --> 00:22:06,651
Which is roughly 13 more
than you've ever had with anyone else.
328
00:22:08,962 --> 00:22:13,132
Harry. as far as pep talks go.
that blows chunks.
329
00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:21,639
Hi. Dan. I haven't seen you for weeks.
You were supposed to call.
330
00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:25,206
-Sorry.
-You can make it up by taking me to lunch.
331
00:22:25,379 --> 00:22:28,349
No. no. no. I can't. I can't.
332
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,384
I've just been through
a devastating emotional experience...
333
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:36,551
...and I'm going to need a sufficient
amount of time to get back on my feet.
334
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,593
So how about a late dinner?
335
00:22:49,936 --> 00:22:53,736
It's not like a close family member
died or anything.
336
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:58,036
Sure. for that.
she'd have to wait until breakfast.
337
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:03,884
Yeah. come on. Selma. Seeing somebody in
mourning really brings me down too.
338
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:17,018
DAN: Harry....
HARRY: It's all right.
339
00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:56,856
[ENGLISH SDHI
340
00:23:56,906 --> 00:24:01,456
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