Original subtitles

Do you need any help getting that to the table?

I have an extremely high metabolism rate.

That'd be my guess.

It was worse when I was growing up.

Every morning for breakfast mama had to fix me a few dozen eggs

and a couple of pounds of bacon.

My whole family lived in constant fear.

-Of what? -Grease fire.

Don't take that pudding!

Carla, there's plenty more.

No, I mean, don't buy it.

I got an extra. You can have it.

You got an extra bread pudding?

I bought two.

I guess my eyes are bigger than my…

Why don't you let me feel that part in?

You're so clever.

I guess I am.

Bye. Thanks, Carla.

-I payed for it. -That's a switch.

Why don't you let me feel that part in?

I beg your pardon?

You're so clever.

Something bugging you, Lana?

Harry, how can you take pudding from a hooker?

I never thought anyone would ask me that question.

You're a judge. It's improper.

Oh, come on.

She's been in our court every day this week and she's not even on the docket?

So?

And you know, there's been a fresh rose every night on your bench too.

I noticed, thanks.

You thought I…

Excuse me, could you hurry it up?

I don't want my fish sticks to get cold.

There's nothing on you plate.

They're in my pocket.

I couldn't take any chances.

Hi, Dan.

What's the matter with you?

I'm depressed.

International crisis threaten us with the possibility of nuclear holocaust?

And the increase in violent crime has raised so one of us is going to be murdered in sleep tonight.

I don't wanna park him __

Hi, gang.

Dan, look at this. You'll love this.

Squirting flower. Just 59 cents.

I had it in a big sale at the Novelty Shop.

No, thanks. I'd better get right down there.

-Dan, you all right? -He's got the blues.

I don't get the blues.

Jelly Roll Morton gets the blues.

I get devastated.

-The returns must be coming in now. -Yes, they are.

Oh, my god, I almost forgot the special election is tonight.

You're up for a city council seat.

You're losing. That's why you're depressed.

Yes, I am losing but that's not the depressing part.

Didn't your opponent die two weeks ago?

That's the depressing part.

How bad are you…?

The body is ahead by 20%.

Come on, Dan,

you know how unsophisticated the public is.

They don't vote for issues, they vote for personality.

I've got to make a call.

Remember when "alive" was a good thing to be?

I need a napkin. Anybody need anything while I'm up?

I'll be right back.

Need a glass of water?

No, thanks, Carla. I just need a napkin.

Here. I've got condiments too.

A napkin will do. Thanks a lot.

Your honor,

I just want to say that since I started being brought up in front of you,

I have developed a tremendous respect for our justice system.

A very healthy respect.

I sense that.

I have a great deal of respect for you too.

I guess I've always been attracted to a man in a robe.

That's a fairly common phenomenon.

-Enjoy your pudding. -I'm looking forward to it.

Excuse me, do you happen to have a __ lasagna?

Ms. Williams, do you have anything to say on your defendant's behalf

Your honor, although my client has pled guilty

I sincerely hope you'll express compassion for this pathetic

miserable, wretched empty shallow human being.

__

The bench is overwhelmed with mercy.

Let's make it 10 days, suspended sentence,

and let's take a 10 minute recess.

Your honor, thank you.

Listen, I really appreciate what you did for me.

-And I'd like to thank you. -Don't mention it.

Shall we say "over dinner"?

What?

Do you like seafood?

-Your honor… -"Harry", it's recess.

Harry, I just wanted to say that back there in the cafeteria

maybe I got a little off of the line.

Don't worry about that.

I mean, your personal life is your personal life

and I don't want to interfere in that.

It was just a friendly warning.

Maybe I do get a little overprotective at times.

It's just that your position is one of such honor.

I feel that in some way it's my responsibility.

I just hope you understand.

Thank you for listening.

Judge…

What's that?

A green stick.

I bought that champagne and other stuff.

Are we still having that victory celebration we planned for Dan?

Sure. I think things will turn around once all the returns are in.

I bought white champagne. Is that right?

-Let's see. We're serving it with… -Cheetos.

Hello.

Hello yourself.

Got a sec?

Sure. What can I do for you?

That's what I was gonna ask you.

I asked you first.

Your honor, back in the cafeteria I was trying to tell you something.

-There's no need to. -There's not?

I think we both know what's going on here.

Then you feel it too?

No. I didn't say "feel".

I don't feel.

I mean, I feel, but I don't feel what you feel I feel.

Do you know what I mean?

No. But I just love hearing you use that nonsense.

-Papers. Sign them. -Thank you.

-We'll talk later. -Great.

I have to make some calls so I'm gonna go in here

since there is no phone out here.

That's precious.

Yeah.

Bye.

What a guy!

What were you two talking about?

The judge and I were having a personal discussion.

How personal?

What business is it of yours?

You're right.

It is none of my business but if you want a little friendly advice

forget it. He's not your type.

But I suppose he's your type.

He's a sensitive, intellectual complex man.

Eclectic in nature, multidimensional in personality

and frankly,

he would need a woman of similar qualities to stimulate him.

Honey, I don't know what those words mean

but I do know what it takes to please a man.

Physical stimulation is not enough.

I won't use gadgets.

It's not what I meant.

You see, dear,

most psychologists and experts agree

the way a man and a woman respond to each other is cerebral.

What?

The brain. Sex takes place between the ears.

You need a bond.

You need a map.

It's open. No need to break it down.

-Judge Stone? -Yeah, come on in.

I was in session down the hall Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.

-Judge Robert T. Wheeler. -Nice to meet you.

Neat robe!

I beg your pardon.

How do you keep those little __ at the bottom from crinkling up?

Some of the other judges and I were talking

and we just wanted you to know we're available.

You mean, for weddings and stuff?

Weddings? That's very amusing.

So what do you mean "available"?

We wanted you to know that we were accessible

if you have any questions, need any advice.

Thanks, great.

-Can I get you a fresca? -No, thank you.

I love this stuff. But it's a weird name, ain't it?

You know what's even weirder? I once knew a guy named "Fresca".

I really don't have much time to…

I'm sorry. You were saying?

I've heard a little about how you operate, a bit too unconventional, some say.

A bit of a __ perhaps.

Thanks.

Harry, if I may call you Harry.

Sure, Bob.

Judge Stone, we are entrusted with a lot of responsibilities in our job

and quite frankly, a lot of power.

We start making a lot of waves, draw a lot of attention to ourselves.

Before you know it, some of that power could be taken away.

Am I making myself clear?

Don't rock the boat. Is that it?

Harry, don't misunderstand me. We just think of ourselves as a paternity,

a club if you will, a very exclusive club,

whose members care about each other.

Harry, we want you to be a member of that club.

I've got a lot of neat stuff for the club house.

Yes. Very good.

I find the defendant guilty and the fine will be 50 bucks.

-Next case. -That's it, your honor.

That's a wrap!

More returns?

-I assume your opponent is still— -Dead. Yeah.

How is it going?

The cadaver has opened up its lead.

I'm sorry.

I just hope there's no after-life so he can't gloat.

I'll keep a good thought.__

Dan, I know you know

but if it's of any consolation I voted for you.

Me too.

We all voted for you, didn't we?

Absolutely.

A secret ballot is our most treasured right to __ us into the constitution.

Who did you vote for?

I mean, the right of privacy is a guarantee to ensure an open and free election.

Who did you vote for?

We are indebted to our founding fathers for creating and granting us this privilege.

Whom did you vote for?

I voted for the best man.

I knew it.

Come on, kids, it's party time. The refreshments are this way.

Judge Stone, so glad I caught you before you left.

We were going to listen to the returns and have a drink.

Oh, yes, Fielding. Steve still bumping you?

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

-Would you join us, judge Wheeler? -Just for a sec.

I really came by to say that if I came on a little strong earlier I'd like to apologize.

Forget it. We all come on a little strong every once in a while.

Surprise!

What are these people doing here?

What are you doing here?

I was supposed to meet him here.

There's been a misunderstanding.

What is going on here? Who is this woman?

-You mean the hooker? -Hooker?

Yes. Hooker, prostitute, street walker, whatever you wanna call it.

Meretrix?

Look it up.

You lied to me.

Carla, I didn't lie. I never said a thing.

You told me to meet you in your office.

You don't really think he'd need a hooker in his office, do you?

You wouldn't, would you?

Is that it? Everybody had their laughs?

Everybody got a kick out of seeing a little turd __ make a fool out of herself?

Stay away from me.

Come on, get dressed and we'll talk.

What's the matter? Are you embarrassed?

Well, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Hi, everybody, sorry I'm late.

I threw my clothes out the window.

At most I was expecting charades.

Harry, do something.

She's right, Stone. This calls for positive action.

What do you suggest?

Take her.

Anybody comes near me and I'll follow my clothes down, understand?

Sex body in judge's chambers turns tragic.

Great headline, huh?

Makes me want to read further.

Don't just stand around, let's party.

Bar is open.

That's the spirit.

Come on, people, enjoy yourselves.

Do you mind if I make a phone call?

Whatever turns you on, honey.

Dan, how can you think of yourself at a time like this?

Because I have stood next to death and people liked him better.

Well, good luck, Stone.

Nobody leaves or I'll jump.

I'm not going to stand here and be blackmailed by anyone.

Get your pompous butt back in here, Wheeler.

Bull, if anyone tries to leave…

Have a seat.

Why don't I have a talk with her, you know, woman to woman?

That might help.

All right, get down off there.

Nice start.

Isn't that the little prude?

I am not little.

Or prude.

You've made love with a light on?

Of course I have.

A dimmer doesn't count.

Carla, please, come out of the window.

I wonder what it feels like to fly.

You won't like it, trust me.

You get bugs in your eyes and pigeons push you around.

You're wasting our time standing there, fooling around.

Fooling around is preferable to the alternative at this point.

You aren't taking her seriously, are you?

He's right, nobody takes me seriously.

Maybe it's about time they did.

All right, Carla, get the hell inside that window and do it now!

Rough stuff, huh?

I apologize and offer to talk. What else can I do?

For starters? Give me a drink.

It's a good idea. Let's have a drink.

You come over here, we'll sit down and talk.

-Here. -Here.

-Here. -There.

I'll get champagne, don't go away.

Operator, please. Keep trying. There must be somebody there.

Mr. Fielding for city council headquarters.

Yes, the joker who is losing to the corpse.

I'm sure he must be a real nerd.

Carla, listen to me.

I am truly sorry if I said or did anything to mislead you.

You did plenty, all right.

What did I do?

What did you do?

Every time I came to the court you smiled at me.

You treated me with respect.

You were generally concerned with my welfare.

Damn it, you were nice to me.

For the most part I'm nice to everybody.

You just better get in your head that everybody in this world ain't used to being treated nice.

And if they are treated nice is because somebody wants something from them.

So when somebody treats you nice and they don't want anything from you,

you think they love you.

I thought you loved me.

I know I love you.

Come on, Stone, this has gone on long enough.

Take a look at her. She's not going to jump.

No, she never was.

Then pull her down and let's get out of here.

She's just an emotionally mixed-up woman who thought you were in love with her.

Maybe she's right.

I'm sorry. What did he say?

I said maybe she's right. Maybe I am in love with her.

Harry, what are you doing?

Just trying to look at things realistically.

I did treat her nice.

Maybe I treated her extra nice. I don't know.

Isn't that a thing about her feelings?

No, operator, I don't mind.

Sometimes you can't even make sense out of your own.

-Do you know what I mean? -I do.

Especially about love.

When do you fall in love with somebody?

When do you think you're in love with somebody?

When do you start to love and when is it complete?

I don't know any more about love than the next guy,

I don't know if anybody does.

But I do know that if someone told me that they loved you

I wouldn't have to ask why.

Your honor, I just…

I always wanted to do that to somebody.

-Stone, mind if I go now? -Not at all, judge Wheeler.

About that club of yours, I don't really think I'm interested.

I mean, no secret handshakes or anything.

I'm not really sure you're fit to wear that robe.

I think you're right.

Selma, you have a lady in distress here.

I've got some clothes in my locker you can wear around the way home.

What size are you?

Seven. Extra shriveled.

Listen, everybody,

I want to apologize for acting like a real fool.

Forget it. It could have happened to any of us.

Well, most any of us.

Judge Stone,

thanks for the dignity.

Thanks for the pudding.

All the press __ have now reported in and it's official.

The 13th district city council seat has been won by the late Edward Burns.

Burns, who would have been 52 next January

pulled up a stunning upset in what many insiders felt was a sure bet for the live candidate.

That candidate, assistant district attorney Dan Fielding…

Sorry, Dan.

So am I, Dan.

I really am.

I think this just goes to show you how really uninformed the public is.

I bet they even didn't know the man they were voting for was dead.

They knew.

The cake.

What's that?

Well, we had reason to believe you'd win.

We just wanted to show you how we felt about this.

There's writing on it.

"Dan, Dan, he is our man"

"If he can't do it nobody can"

That's very…

Thank you.

I'll treasure it always.

Transcription and synchronization Héctor Lahoz

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0