All language subtitles for Life UneXpected s01e04 Bong Intercepted.eng

you gave up that kid.

I am that kid.

Cate Cassidy-- that's your mom.

I am Cate Cassidy.

Ryan and I have up since 5:00.

And as usual, arguing since 6:00.

What are you doing? Will you marry me?

I am not granting you emancipation.

I'm releasing you

back into their temporary joint custody.

The rent for the bar.

Dad,

I know I'm late this month,
but I will get you the money.

Well, it's a collector's item.

Belonged to Jerry Garcia.

How much? I could give you a good deal.

What's this? It's what's
most important, right?

Rent for the bar from Baze.

I know what you did.

You paid my rent,

and I'm going to pay you back every penny.

Okay, so what you're saying is

if a guy is 30 and single, he has standards,

but if a woman is 30 and single,
she has issues.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is that all
women in their 30s have issues.

Oh......single or not.

Hey, hey, hey, look at Alice,

back from vacation.

Hey, leave me out of this.

No, no, Alice is married.

She's just as screwed up as you are.

I take offense to that.

And, and marriage-- it's hard, okay?

The responsibilities, the monotony.

The lack of sex.

No comment.

Pathetic.

What? My bank account.

Oh, join the club.

Y-You still owe me two
weeks' worth of paychecks.

Dude, we have got

to figure out a way to get
butts on these barstools.

My own daughter raided her
savings to cover our rent.

Yeah, otherwise, we'd both be out of a job.

Lux--

she even sold the bong lamp.

The bong lamp, t
h-the bong lamp that you gave her?

Mm-hmm. She loved the bong lamp.

I loved that bong lamp.

That was a great bong lamp.
Stop saying "bong lamp."

We all loved the bong lamp. It's gone.

I was thinking:

what if we got one of those bulls?

I'm sorry. What?

Like they've got in the Western bars.

They try to throw you; you try to stay on.

Big crowd-pleaser.

Hmm, yeah, in Amarillo.

Let's,

let's just say that you single people--

you don't know how easy you have it.

Oh... Oh, come on.
You've got to be kidding me.

Cate has it easy.

She dates so often, she hasn't paid

for her own dinner since the late '90s.

Oh, my God, you're just
bitter because you're buying

too many dinners and not enough breakfasts.

Oh, please.

And come on, you know it.

Dating-- it is the worst.

The small talk, the body parts.

The small body parts you
don't want to talk about.

Whoa, what is this site?

Was Math... was Math using my computer?

Oh, please tell me it's
not his weirdo lit-porn.

Remember that one?

Uh, Hot Girls for Deep Dickens?

No, it's not porn. It's Cate.

It's like her home page.

Man, the high school crush lives on.

We have got to get that guy laid.

What in the hell is an ad for Garrett's

doing on her Web site?

Across-the-street Garrett's?

Yes.

"Drink-a-Date with Cate and Ryan,
sponsored by K-100."

Cate and Ryan.

Cate and Ryan.

Why-- so, so why would they go
to a place across the street

when my place is right here?

So that guy gets

to rake it in at Drink-a-Date?

K-100's Drink-a-Date tomorrow
night is going to rock.

Imagine combining speed
dating and speed drinking,

hosted by us.

Yes, we will be providing the
beer goggles and the beer.

Really?

I can't believe your parents just let you

bum around San Francisco all summer.

Mine were making me take an S.
A.T. prep course.

Yeah, what a waste.

Didn't your score go down, like, ten points?

Yeah.

So is that where you met Jerry
Garcia and got his bong lamp?

Uh... yeah.

You mean

my bong lamp, soon to be Jones'.

He's going to flip when I give
it to him for his birthday.

You better hope your parents don't find it

or you'll be grounded for life.

That's why it's in my locker.

Okay, people.

Party's over.

Put away your phones. Take out your books.

Hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?

Uh, sure.

You can sleep over if you want.

Wait, I thought I was sleeping over.

Well, you always spend the night.

It's Lux's turn.

If you want,

I'll pick you up on the way
to school and you can leave

your stuff in my car. Okay.

Girls,

I assume you're discussing
The Grapes of Wrath.

We'd all like to hear your thoughts.

Brynn Bukowski, report to
Principal Dugan's office.

Brynn Bukowski to the principal's office.

Hey.

What's going on?

Lux's social worker-
she sent over her file.

Medical history:

chicken pox,

strep throat,

ventricular septal defect.

Try English.

Lux, she had a hole in the heart.

She had all the surgeries
when she was little.

That's why she never got adopted.

Oh, look.

She had braces.

You know, I had braces, too.

Mm, that's a great story. You should save it

for air. Mm.

Oh, look.

A hand wreath.

Oh, my God, look. It's a letter to Santa.

December 24, 2001.

That makes her what?

Eight.

"Dear Santa,

"I want one thing for Christmas this year.

"I asked for it last year

"and the year before.

"Have you not gotten my letters?

"I want...

"I want one mom and one dad.

"My mom should be pretty, funny, smart,

and cook."

Well, three out of four ain't bad.

Oh, I like to cook.

Oh, right.

You just suck at it.

"My dad would be nice...

"and have an important job

"and lots of money.

"He could be famous,
and he could buy a big house

"with a dog

"and my own bed.

"He would take me to Disney World.

That's the second thing
I want for Christmas."

"Maybe she could be famous, too.

Like a news reporter or a movie star."

Radio deejay-- that is close.

It's closer than close.

I mean, if this is the perfect mom

that she has always dreamed about, then...

I am a complete loser.

"Loser" is a bit strong.

Let's just say there's room for improvement.

This guy she's describing-- that's not me.

What's Cate's dude's name?

Ryan.

Why?

No reason. Why?

Because he's some famous radio host

and I'm the owner of a crappy dive bar

that's about to go under?

He can afford to take Lux to Disney World.

I can't even afford to
take her to a Disney movie.

You could take her.

If she pays.

I'm guessing

her perfect dad doesn't owe her three grand.

I got to figure out how to get
the money and pay her back.

Lux Cassidy to the
principal's office.

Thank you for coming in, Mr. Bukowski.

Mrs. Bukowski.

Hopefully, next time I see you,

it'll be under better circumstances.

Come in, Lux.

I'm sorry.

For what?

Lux.

So, when you enrolled

at Westmonte last week,

you signed the school's ant
i-drug policy, right?

Yeah.

You know the severity

of being caught with or selling drugs

or drug paraphernalia?

Yeah.

Why?

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

This is Drink-a-Date, Cate.

It's not dinner at the White House.

I know, but I want to look good.

Okay, so what do you think of this one?

Well...

easy access.

I think I love it.

Be careful, please. Someone could see us.

There's, like, one person here. Come on. No!

Oh, my God.

You're Ryan.

Ryan Thomas from K-100, right?

Yeah, I sure am.
All right, so what do you think

I have a better chance of pulling off,

these high- waisted jeans

or, like, the zip-up jumper?

And you're Cate!

Oh, my God, Cate Cassidy.

I wish you guys would wake up and realize

you're perfect for each other.

I-I love you guys.

All of your banter and sexual tension.

It's not sexual. It's just tension.

Yeah. Yeah.

We seriously cannot get caught.

'Cause if she sees us, we're screwed.

Now, that is why the door

is locked.

We're good.

Oh, my God. Wait, wait.

It's Baze.

What? Just one...

All right, listen,
I really can't talk right now.

I'm just, I'm in the
middle of something, okay?

What?!

Our daughter was suspended
for selling

drug paraphernalia

at school! It's not like

you can actually smoke out of it.

I'm just saying.

I don't get it.

Why would you even

sell that stupid thing to
Brynn in the first place?

I... needed the money.

For what?

For drugs?

No, it was not for drugs!

She sold it for me, Cate.

Okay?

She emptied her savings account

to, uh, make my rent.

And when it still wasn't enough...

she sold the bong lamp, too.

You paid the rent?

On the bar?

His bar?

Th-That's how you ended up keeping it?

Yeah. I didn't know she was doing it.

And I am going to pay her back, every
penny.

Enjoy lunch. Thanks, kiddo.

I cannot believe this.

It's five days. No big deal.

Ooh. Hey, Cate.

What if Math and I home-school her?

Would that... would that make you happy?

You realize that this is, like,
the opposite of funny, right?

Yeah, I don't... I don't think he does.

Let me tell you something.

You're suspended.

This is gonna be on your permanent record.

It could affect the way
your teachers perceive you,

what college you get into...

Eh! No one gives a crap about
your high school rec...

It's not gonna affect your life.

Says the bartender.

You know what?

I will handle it.

I will go down to the school,
and I will fix the situation.

Principal Dugan's still there.

She loved me.

I loved Nate Bazile.

Not the best student.

That's for sure.

Great athlete.

And an all-around great guy.

Yeah, he's great.
Anyway... All the girls loved him.

All the guys wanted to be him. Yeah, he is.

He's really terrific until
you have a kid with him.

Okay, look, Principal Dugan,
here's the thing.

I gave Lux up at birth, and Nate and I--

we just now got her back into our lives.

I know that what she did-- it was not right,

but I guarantee that if you
drop the suspension,

it will not happen again.

Look, Cate, your daughter

sold drug paraphernalia to another student.

Now if you'll excuse me...

Oh, I know, I know, and it wasn't right,

but she was doing it to help someone out.

Baze, in fact.

She used the money to
pay the rent on his bar.

I brought you her social worker's file.

You can see for yourself

that she's a good kid.

She's just had a really rough time.

She has been in and out of foster care,

group homes, her whole life.

She's finally getting a fresh start

at a new school, making friends.

And a suspension now,
it could just set her back months.

Years even.

I understand, and I will

think about it.

Excuse me, Cate.

Okay, well, can you just please...

take the file with you?
You can make a copy. Please.

Just read it.

Mary, make a copy of Lux Cassidy's file,

and give the original back
to her mom. Yeah, sure.

Cate did it.

Oh, yes.

Lux is un-suspended.

So she's Supermom,

and I am a chronic screwup.
That's how this is rolling out.

Any luck on your Craigslist ad?

Not one bite.

And it's a really great ad.

Check it out.

"Sort of like a New York loft, but not.

Hold your next event here."

What? No, it's good.

Well, I'm trying. Let me work on it.

No, no, no. Okay, look, I'll do it.

Math has a tendency to get
a little lost on the Web.

What's that supposed to mean?

I don't know. He doesn't get lost.

It's just all roads lead to Cate.

Hey.

Hey, did you see this?

I mean, there's like a line
halfway down the block.

It's always halfway down the block.

Meanwhile, we've got
more guys behind the bar

than we do in the bar.

I can't believe that that bar
is hosting Cate's dumb event.

Like they need the money.

Hey, how much do you
think an event like this

is going to rake in, what,
like, four, five K?

Enough to pay Lux back, that's for sure.

Seriously, it's bad enough I have to
be linked to Cate for all eternity.

Shouldn't I get something out of it?

Dude, why don't you just quit
your bitching and ask her.

Tell her you're going
to host her next event.

You're not going to take "no" for an answer.

Are you sure Lux is asleep? Mm-hmm.
I'm positive.

Yeah? Uh-huh.

That's good, 'cause, um, those mom jeans--

they kind of turn me on.

They are not mom jeans.

They are high-waisted.

I don't know what to tell you. What?

Oh, my God.

Again?

What?

Hey, Cate.

It's Baze.

I'm sorry to call you so late.

I can't really talk right now.

I was wondering, what...

what is the possibility of having an event

for your station, you know,

at my bar?

Uh, yeah... No, no.

Why not?

Well, first, because I'm the talent.

Okay, location-scouting dive bar events--

it isn't exactly in my job description.

Oh, but being a snot is?

What does he want?

Look, you just said it yourself.
You are the talent.

Hook me up.

Oh, my God, Baze, hook yourself up.

You're the one that everyone loves, right?

Teenagers, principals.

Everybody but you apparently.

You know what? You don't need my help.

You want something, help yourself.

God, I hate her.

I hate her.

Dude, dude, look, look, look.

I need to get paid, okay?

And if Cate won't get us a new event,

I say we take that one.

Those girls... they do look awfully young.

Hmm.

Okay, so we've been getting a lot of calls
this morning

about tonight's "Drink-A-Date" event.

Yes, and despite what it sounds like,

you don't actually drink your date, people.

Unless you're Cate on a Friday,
sitting on a couch,

spooning a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Okay, what is he doing here?

Why are you talking to him?

Who? That guy?

Uh, yeah.

He just came through for us big-time.

Some anonymous caller-
they tipped off the police.

Our Drink-A-Date venue--

it was raided and shut down last night

for serving minors.

How great is this?

His bar is right across
the street from Garrett's.

We just-- we move the posters around,
we're back in business.

Hey, so, um, FYI: that's Baze.

Hey...

You turned them in, didn't you?

Uh, who?

Garrett's, for serving minors.

You're the anonymous caller.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You probably don't know
what "anonymous" means.

Okay, fine. I called the police.

So what?

As an upstanding citizen

of the city of Portland,
I couldn't just ignore it.

I can't believe you.

Hey, I'm just heing myself.

Hey, Nic, have you seen Brynn?

No, but merry Christmas.

Lux.

Hi, Brynn.

I was waiting for you this morning.

I have my stuff for tonight.

So boarding school,
San Francisco, Jerry Garcia.

I don't get it.

You just made all that up?

For no reason?

Told you she was a head case, like her mom.

She was down here yesterday

in case you missed it.

I guess she thought she could
use your file and pathetic past

to get you off the hook.

Wait. So Cate brought this stuff down here

and you copied it?

Brynn, I can explain...

What? Lying to my face

when I was just trying to be your friend?

I mean, that wasn't even
Jerry Garcia's bong.

We Googled him. He's dead.

Hey, you checked the deliveries, right?

Three times.

All right, push the premium liquors.

I have got to rake it in tonight.

All right, I get it.

Hey, kiddo, what are you doing here?

I though you were spending
the night at Brynn's.

So did I.

I also thought I could trust Cate.

Guess not.

So, wait, what's happening?

Change of plans.

I'm spending the night... permanently.

This is awesome.

I know. Drinks are flying.

No, no, no, every single girl
here is looking to get laid.

We got to get Math down here.

Wow, you really pulled this off.

Ah, thank you for your vote of confidence.

Hi. So do you know

if Lux got to Brynn's okay,

'cause I keep trying her cell phone,
but she's not answering.

She never went.

She's, um, she's upstairs.

Wait, what? Why? What's she doing?

Last time I checked,
avoiding you and not talking.

Hey, come on. We need you on stage.

Let's get this thing going.

Okay, one second. Why? What did I do?

Or alternatively, now. Come on.

Helloooo, Portland!

Thanks for coming out.

My cohost Cate is around here somewhere.

Unless of course,
she already started drinking.

Hey, you guys remember
last year's Drink-a-Date?

We almost had to rename it "Drunk-As-Cate."

This year we are offering

a date with Cate.

At the end of the night we will
draw a name out of the top hat

and one lucky guy will win a date with Cate.

Of course, who knows where that could lead,

except maybe, I don't know,
couples' therapy?

And for all you single ladies out there...

you guys can also win a date with Ryan.

But I use the term "win" loosely.

Now come on. Let's get the
party started, shall we?

And the drinks flowing.

So okay, here's the drill, people.

Everybody get a drink,

find a person.

If you like 'em, nurse your drink.

And if you don't like 'em, just down it

and come on up to the stage.

We will set you up with someone else.

People get a lot better-looking

as the night goes on.

Isn't that how Alice met her husband?

I think it is. Yeah.

Hey, so we got a couple
great guys behind the bar.

Baze and Jamie. They will be happy

to help you out and hook you up.

In the meantime,

let's get dating!

You believe this guy? Huh? The nerve?

Huh?

It's like, what,

he's some big-shot radio host

and I'm what, you know,
struggling, lowly... Bartender?

Exactly.

Okay, major party foul.

Way too early, but someone

just puked in the girls' bathroom.

Ew.

Yes!

Golly.

For those of you vying for a date with Cate,

uh, I advise you to, um,
enter at your own risk.

Oh, two more!

Three.

And they keep coming!

What are we drinking, sweetheart?

We're working.

So, double vodka on the rocks?

Perfect.

So, you gonna nurse it or down it?

Oh, I'm married.

With stepkids.

Ooh, okay, I'm out.

Hey, what are we drinking, sweetheart?

And how ya'll doing out
there tonight, Portland?

I hope everybody's having
better luck than Cate.

I'll tell ya, she is so single,

she just did a body shot off of herself.

Thank you. Sorry.

That's okay.

Hey, Cate. Hi.

Can I, um... You know what? I'm so sorry,

I have to find Lux.

Buy you a drink?

Yeah, what?

Beer, Baze, please?

What's with the attitude?

There's no attitude.

I'm just a bartender, you know, tending bar

and cleaning up bathrooms.

We can't all be you:

A nice guy with an important job

and money for a trip to Disney World.

What, are you drinking your tips tonight?

Look, I don't know what kind of complex

you're drumming up for yourself,
but look around, all right?

You've got more than you think.

Yeah, a bar I can barely afford
and a kid I owe money to, yeah.

What are you, a jackass?

Your kid just threw down

her life savings for you.

I mean, she must think
something of you to do that.

Is pity something?

She feels sorry for me, Ryan.

Well, you know what, I feel sorry for Cate

because she's out there busting
her butt to be a great mom.

You just do nothing but sit back

and be the good guy and Lux runs here.

If you really want to be a father,

just start acting like one.

I don't understand.

What happened?

You.

You happened.

Casey copied my file and spread it around.

How'd you even get that anyway?

Fern. She sent it over.

I was just trying to help.

I don't want your help.

I didn't want to go to that school.

I didn't want to get un-suspended.

And now, thanks to you,

the whole school knows everything about me.

And they all think that
I'm this gigantic liar.

Wait. Why?

Lux, why?

Because I lied.

Okay, Lux, I had no idea

that that letter

was gonna get out.

I'm sorry.

But look, you have nothing

to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

I mean, I don't...
I don't know why you would lie.

Well, why do you?

About dating Ryan?

The whole event down there is a lie.

Your whole persona.

Okay, I know that right now this
seems like a really big deal.

And I am not saying

that it isn't, but that letter,

that letter was sweet.

And anyone who reads it

would see that.

It's not sweet.

It's sad.

While other kids were asking

for PlayStations and Barbie Dream Houses,

I was asking for parents.

Right, which is understandable
because that is what you wanted.

Right.

But no one wanted me.

And now the whole school knows that.

Lux... No!

Don't you understand what I'm saying?

Not a single person ever

in 16 years wanted me.

Out of all the foster homes,

out of all the parents that stood outside

that chain-linked fence and watched us play,

like, like we didn't know what was going on.

They picked out kids like
we were puppies... or cars.

No one ever chose me.

Including you.

So, don't tell me that this isn't a big deal

or that you understand how
I feel because you don't.

Okay, Lux...

Okay, everyone,

time to pull two lucky names...

Wait, Lux, please, Lux, wait.

I do. I understand. No, no!

I do understand. No, you don't.

How would you feel if
everyone knew your secret?

If everyone knew you'd been lying?

And the winner for a date with Cate is...

Hey, hey, Portland!

How we doing?

Having a good time tonight?

Crossing your fingers for
a date with Cate or Ryan,

your two favorite single radio hosts?

Well, actually... they're not single.

Raise your glass, everyone.

Congratulations are in order.

They're engaged.

To each other.

This is bad.

For you, for the show.

For me.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

It's bad. We get it.

My kids, they're monsters

and they wouldn't pull a stunt like that.

Should we go get Lux?

I gotta drop you guys off.

No, she wants to stay.

Just let her stay.

Can't sleep either?

Yeah.

No.

You okay?

Yeah? No?

Maybe just no.

You saw the look on Cate's face.

After I outed her.

I know.

And I know you.

I think in the past,

when things got rough, you'd take off.

That's your M.O., right? You bail?

But I can't let you hide out
because you're mad at Cate.

What am I supposed to do?

Well...

I guess you gotta work things out with her.

You can stay tonight,

but first thing in the morning,

you gotta go.

Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, I didn't expect to see you here,

but, um, I did want to talk to you.

About last night.

About what happened.

Me too.

Yeah, I was up all night thinking about it.

Um...

I just don't know how many more
times I can say that I'm trying.

You know, I can

only do what I think is right.

I didn't out you on purpose.

I didn't Xerox your letter.

I didn't stick it on your locker.

That wasn't me.

But last night you grabbed that mic

on purpose and this is my career and Ryan's

and I just don't know if...

Don't know if what?

Don't know what, Cate?

I can't do this, Lux.

I mean, not this way.

This isn't working.

I don't know what else to say to
you that I haven't already said.

Look, I know that you've been through

a lot in your life,

and I have a lot to learn
about being with you.

But right now,

I don't know how to do this
any better than I'm doing it.

You know, and even with all that,

you still keep pushing me away.

You keep leaving.

I mean, it just feels like
ever since you got here

all you've done is leave.

And if you don't want to be with me...

You know, we can call Fern.

We can get Baze approved.

We can find you someone else.
We will figure it out.

Because...

I'm just... I'm not a perfect mom.

You know, this is my best and so

at some point...

you know, you're just gonna
have to take it or leave it.

It's up to you.

So, not only did you recently
lie about having a kid,

you've actually been lying
about dating Ryan for years!

Hey, hey, Ryan lied too, okay?

Why is everyone just targeting me?

Easy target.

You're a girl in your 30s with issues.

Oh, okay, so, um...

the official count so far is...

286 people who hate me.

Four who feel only mild disdain.

But there is one person out
there that loves us together.

Hmm, yeah, well, I don't count.

See, people, with lines like that,
how could I resist?

And we are going to be right back

after a word from "Jimmy
Dries" the Carpet Guy.

You need a new carpet?

Ugh, whatever, just buy one.

How bad is this?

I mean, people are going crazy.

Ugh, we've been on the
receiving end all morning.

No, I mean,

you guys, the phones,
they're ringing off the hook.

And as long as people are calling in,

it doesn't matter if they
love you or love to hate you.

It's good.

You know, saw you and Lux talking outside.

What happened?

I gave her an ultimatum.

If she doesn't come home,
you can make that tally number 287.

I'll hate me, too.

I know what it's like.

To feel like the odd person out.

Like...

you're the one that got
picked last in gym or...

music stopped and you're the only one

that didn't get a chair.

Or in your case, a parent.

I was gonna ask her out.

Cate.

To the winter formal.

Junior year.

For five days straight,
every day in U.S. History,

I'd try to get up the nerve.

And finally, right when I was about to ask,

Frankie Palladino beat me to it.

Even gave her a rose, the whole shebang.

And then at the formal, he ditched her.

She should've gone with you.

Ah, then she wouldn't have
ended up with Baze that night.

Which means, there wouldn't have been a you.

Mm?

Yeah. See?

Good things happen in really messe
d-up ways sometimes.

And... when Cate came here the other day,

she was trying to do a good thing.

I know.

I know it wasn't her fault.

Actually, it was mine.

If I hadn't done what I did...

Now... it's all messed up.

Everything in life,
it all comes down to one thing.

No one wants to be rejected.

You got to know, you're not the only one

who doesn't feel wanted, Lux.

Hey, I got you something.

To cheer you up.

I gave it to Baze,

and he'll drop it off for you.

Would you do something for me?

In return?

Okay.

Read me the rest of this.

What?

No.

Why?

Because the answer to what you should do...

it's in there.

"So, Santa, if you can't find

"a perfect mom and dad...

that's okay."

"I'm not perfect either.

"I hate peas.

"I don't like presents
under the tree,

because what I want won't
fit in a box."

I don't know why I even
picked her up dinner.

I called home 50 times.

She's not answering.

She'll be there, Cate.

But what if she's not?

Then I will.

You know, there's one good
thing about being outed.

Hmm?

This.

"I want parents.

"Two parents.

"They don't always have
to say stuff right

"and do stuff right.

"It's okay if they don't.

"They just have to be nice people who will
try.

âT?âT?

"So if there are two people
out there for me,

"Santa, please tell them

"that I'm here.

"I'm waiting for them...

and I love them already."

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