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1
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Hey hey hey hey!
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You kids are getting sweat all over my mat.
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This is why we can't have nice things.
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Rudy, calm down.
5
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Why are you getting so worked up?
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Bobby Wasabi is on his way here right now
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And he's got big news.
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I love his entrances. His last one was so cool.
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It was not cool.
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If you're gonna wear a kimono and fly on a jetpack,
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Dude, put on some underpants.
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This time he promised his entrance isn't gonna be a big deal.
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He wants everything quiet and low key.
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Quiet and low key, huh?
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I would have been here sooner,
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But we hit a pothole and blew out a ninja.
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That is an awesome ride.
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I wonder if it's street legal.
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It's part hot tub, part rickshaw,
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And a par-tay.
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So, Bobby, what's the big news?
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I just signed a deal
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To produce a brand-new martial arts reality show
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Called...
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"Wasabi Warrior."
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And it's going to take place in a dojo.
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Your dojo.
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What?! Are you serious?
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Five karate students living together
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in a world where they must outplay,
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outfight and outwit one another.
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You'll be playing for a brand-new kamasaki water rider.
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- No way! - What?! Are you serious?
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Hang on a second, guys.
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We've all seen those reality shows.
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Sometimes they bring out the worst in people.
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Yeah, Eddie's right.
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I mean this dojo is a place of honor where we come to study martial arts--
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All I need is a host.
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Please please, pick me, pick me!
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I've wanted to be a reality show host my whole life.
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I'm the host. I need a fanfare!
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This thing is filled with ninja spit.
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Don't you get all tough with me
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I'm saying won't you come kick it with me?
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and we could have a ball, run up the wall
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That's just we do
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And no matter how much I chop and punch
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It's not as cool as kickin' it with you
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Here we go, let's start the party
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Chop it up like it's karate
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Everybody
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Don't you get all tough with me
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I'm saying won't you
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Come kick it with me
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And we could have a ball, run up the wall
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That's just we do
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And no matter how much I chop and punch
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It's not as cool as kickin' it with you!
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Hi! Karate students are about to face
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the challenge of their lives.
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Jack
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Kim
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Eddie
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Milton, Jerry.
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Only one can be the...
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Wasabi Warrior!
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Welcome to "Wasabi Warrior."
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I'm your host and sensei rudy.
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You're about to enter a world of mental and physical challenges
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where you should always expect
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the unexpected.
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What was that?
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I just blew up my car. You don't expect that, did you?
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Now go on in and choose your living space
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And I'll be right back with your first challenge.
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What have I done?
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That car's not even paid for yet.
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Check this place out. It's amazing.
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- I call that spot. - I got this one.
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- Yes! - It's all mine.
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What are you doing?
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I claimed this spot already.
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Okay, you can have it. I'll take that one over there.
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Wait a minute.
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If you don't want it, there must be something wrong with it.
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Yeah, yeah, I know how these shows work.
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You're trying to get inside my head.
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Well, it's not gonna happen.
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This thing's like a rock.
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I'm taking that bed.
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I really wanted that spot.
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It's the closest to the bathroom, and I'll say it,
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I have the bladder of a 70-year--
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Excuse me. I'll be right back.
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Welcome to the dragon's playground.
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By random draw, Kim, Eddie and Milton,
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This challenge is for you.It's a race.
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The first part consists of the ball pit of despair.
100
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It may look like fun
101
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But beware of hidden ninjas.
102
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Then you're off to the banzai bounce.
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Lastly, you have to get through
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The path of the tiger.
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Whoever hits the buzzer first, wins the challenge.
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I have a question.
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When you hit the banzai bounce, are you allowed to flip over--
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Go!
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This should be easy.
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I'm built like a flying squirrel.
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Except I don't regurgitate acorns to attract a mate.
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Ninja!
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Am I competitive? Sure.
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Do I wanna win? You bet.
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Nothing's gonna take me down.
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Holy Christmas nuts!
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I did it! I did it!
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I did it! Oh!
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Congratulations, Milton.
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You won the challenge.
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Your prize is a gourmet lobster dinner.
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I can't believe it. I love lobster.
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Milton, before you sit down for your lobster feast,
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You have a choice.
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If you eat the lobster, everyone else in the house eats gruel.
126
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Or you can eat gruel, while everyone else eats lobster.
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Mmm!
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So how's the gruel?
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A little dry.
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Jack, first chance we get, Milton's gotta go.
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I was thinking the same thing.
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I think I'm done with this one.
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It's mine!
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Our second challenge is the emperor's bridge.
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Jerry and Jack, you're up.
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The object is to try and knock your opponent off the bridge.
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If I win that water rider,
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I'll finally get some attention from the girls,
139
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Which I don't get on my dad's riding lawnmower.
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You have any idea how hard it is to pick up girls on a lawnmower?
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It's hard, yo.
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Jerry, you'll be fighting with a pugil stick.
143
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And, Jack, since you're a black belt,
144
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You'll be fighting with a feather.
145
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Seriously? A feather?
146
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Gesundheit.
147
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Great job, Jack. You won.
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And now you have a choice.
149
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A traveling carnival abandoned this porta-pooper.
150
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Everyone else in the dojo will have to spend five minutes
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in what we call the chamber of horrors.
152
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Or you can spare your friends
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by doing the five minutes yourself.
154
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I am not making the same mistake as Milton.
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Everyone in the dojo hates him.
156
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Pretty soon we're gonna be voting someone off,
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And I am not going home.
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I mean, it's a porta-pooper they found behind a carnival.
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How bad could it be?
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Oh, sweet mercy! Let me out!
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Let me out! Oh, it's horrible.
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Whoa whoa whoa!
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- Okay, that is not good. - Eww.
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This is where our game takes a little...
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Twist
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That you couldn't possibly have seen...
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Coming.
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Now we'll go ahead-
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Would you please stop that?
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I'm sorry. I love the gong.
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It's time for a vote to decide
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which of you will be going home in shame.
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I didn't know they voted people off in these shows.
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I've gotta stop reading and start watching tv
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or I'll never get anywhere in life.
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I've counted the votes.
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And the person voted out of the dojo is...
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Going home.
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And that person is...
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One of you.
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Who is it? Tell me! Tell me!
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It's...
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Jack.
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What?!
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After what I did for you people?
186
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You stabbed me in the back.
187
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Ooh!
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I did not see that coming.
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I can't believe Jack's gone
190
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It doesn't feel right.
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He's our friend.
192
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I'm really gonna miss him. I feel so bad.
193
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I feel so alive!
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Jack was the biggest threat.
195
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If we didn't get rid of him, he would have gotten rid of us.
196
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Poor chump never saw it coming.
197
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,830
Kim, I gotta admit voting Jack out was brilliant.
198
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Well, we gotta work together.
199
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It's the only way anyone wins on these shows.
200
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What's going on?
201
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Did you guys form an alliance?
202
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No no no, it wasn't like that, man, okay?
203
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We just met in secret and decided to do whatever it takes to win,
204
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And now that I'm hearing it, yes, absolutely, we have an alliance.
205
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That's not really fair, is it?
206
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You're not gonna have to worry about it much longer,
207
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Because you're out next.
208
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What?!
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You told me Milton was out next.
210
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What?! You told me Jerry was next.
211
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- What?! - Everyone, just calm down.
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I mean
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How much fun was that ball pit?
214
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You know who you could trust in this game?
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No one!
216
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,270
We really need to put our names on these things.
217
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Yeah yeah, you're right.
218
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,640
Welcome to your next challenge.
219
00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:51,850
It's called
220
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The banzai brunch.
221
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:57,980
They say revenge is a dish best served cold.
222
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,710
That's why we've brought in a very special chef--
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Your old friend Jack.
224
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,560
Hello, friends.
225
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I put together this menu with you in mind.
226
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At least one of you must clear your plate or
227
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I'm back in the game.
228
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,410
Martial arts requires focus and mental toughness.
229
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Those skills are about to be put to the test.
230
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:24,400
Hello, Kim.
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Maybe you can make a meal out of mealworms.
232
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I'm out.
233
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,740
- Eddie. - Oh, come on.
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You wanna see what I have for you?
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Huh-uh.
236
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:38,550
What's the matter?
237
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Cat got your tongue?
238
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:43,970
Oh!
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And, milton,
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You know what goes great with lobster?
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Panamanian dung slug.
242
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Just pretend like it's a big French fry
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with mucus sacs
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swimming in a nice green slime sauce.
245
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Okay.
246
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Going down. Going down!
247
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:21,360
Yeah!
248
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:28,640
Turning around. Coming up! Coming up!
249
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,220
Jerry, you're our only hope to keep jack out of the game.
250
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Don't worry I got this.
251
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,360
Let me warm up with a couple of appetizers.
252
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Mmm!
253
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Jerry's gonna do this.
254
00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,140
Hit the road, Jack.
255
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:53,160
Not yet.
256
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:57,240
Jerry has to clear his plate.
257
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:05,400
When I was five, I was sitting at the beach eating a saltine.
258
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I looked over and saw my grandmother in a bikini.
259
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Since then, the taste of saltines brings back that horrible memory.
260
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What I saw was wrong, yo!
261
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It's a cracker, you big baby, man up!
262
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I can't!
263
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,670
Well, congratulations, Jack. No one can clean their plate,
264
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So you are back in the game.
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Yeah, back in the game, fools.
266
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:48,140
Jerry, are you okay?
267
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Put a robe on, nana. I'm just a little boy.
268
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,160
Okay, look, it's obvious there's a lot of tension in here.
269
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Why don't we just take our minds off of it and play a little game?
270
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:11,800
What kind of game?
271
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,020
It's called "one-word story."
272
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,740
So we go around in a circle and make up a story,
273
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,520
But each of us only gets to say one word.
274
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,380
I'll start. This...
275
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:24,540
- Game... - Eats...
276
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:25,800
- Hairy... - Moose--
277
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:26,490
Okay!
278
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:30,300
I have a game.
279
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,030
It's called you three lose
280
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:34,480
and I win a water rider on national television.
281
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,730
That's right. We're on television.
282
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,590
Hey, everybody, Kim has a crush on that goth dude
283
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,460
From the yogurt shop with the detachable ponytail.
284
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:46,410
I do not!
285
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,310
Wait. That ponytail's not real?
286
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:52,440
Really?
287
00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:53,930
What are you laughing at?
288
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,360
The first night here Jerry cried for his mommy.
289
00:16:58,920 --> 00:16:59,850
What are you laughing at?
290
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,650
Milton can't go to sleep without his little bunny.
291
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,200
How long have you known about rondell?
292
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:08,770
I've known about it the whole time.
293
00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:09,780
You just embarrassed me.
294
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,040
I don't care. You embarrassed me--
295
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:16,150
Wow, that is fun.
296
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:18,230
Okay.
297
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:21,540
Time for the final challenge.
298
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:25,550
When it's over, only one warrior will remain.
299
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520
It won't be over
300
00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,570
till the blonde's on the water rider.
301
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,750
Right, but which one of us is the blonde?
302
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,780
Welcome to the hang tough wall.
303
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:42,730
The last person to drop will be presentedr
304
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:45,370
with the title of Wasabi Warrior
305
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,430
By Bobby Wasabi himself.
306
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,110
You got that right, Rudy.
307
00:17:52,690 --> 00:17:53,680
So that's it?
308
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,900
All we have to do is stand here?
309
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:57,980
This is gonna be a piece of cake.
310
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,620
I was born standing up.
311
00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:02,740
No, literally, my mother had me on a bus and there was no empty seats.
312
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,520
Oh, its more than just standing.
313
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:12,380
Grab ahold of your peg because you're about to hang tough.
314
00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:21,350
Release the Wasabi wind.
315
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,140
A little breeze doesn't bother me.
316
00:18:26,550 --> 00:18:29,070
I'm not letting go until my butt hits that water rider.
317
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:32,960
Guys, I don't know if I can keep hanging on any longer.
318
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,590
My arms are getting so--
319
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,840
Forget it, Jack!
320
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:41,820
It's time for the flaming balls of fury.
321
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,580
Whoa! Whoa!
322
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:46,840
Is this even legal?
323
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,500
Is that all you got?
324
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:53,100
You call yourselves ninjas? But...
325
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,070
Ow!
326
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:56,960
Nice shot.
327
00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,640
You guys must be getting pretty hungry up there.
328
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:03,880
We've blended together the delicious leftovers
329
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,410
from our eating challenge--
330
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,690
The worms, the tongue,
331
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,890
- The slugs. - The saltines?
332
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,360
Yes, Jerry, the saltines.
333
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:19,500
Prepare yourselves for the shower of shame.
334
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:31,280
That was disgusting.
335
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,250
Yeah, well, why don't you stop whining and drop already?
336
00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:36,510
Let's just let Jack win something again.
337
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,970
We never get tired of seeing that.
338
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,170
Stop feeling sorry for yourself
339
00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,420
Because you're a little weasel.
340
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,800
You're a backstabbing liar.
341
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:46,450
Yeah.
342
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:51,580
Stop it!
343
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,920
I tried to warn you about this.
344
00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:57,040
We're supposed to be friends.
345
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:01,160
Eddie's right. Look at us.
346
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,650
Hanging on poles covered in slop and yelling at each other.
347
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,430
It's like my mom's book club.
348
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,960
Them ladies get real, yo.
349
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,370
How do we end this?
350
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,120
To save our friendship,
351
00:20:14,390 --> 00:20:15,530
We all drop down together.
352
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:19,420
He's right. We've gotta show everybody that our loyalty to each other
353
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:21,360
is stronger than just some dumb prize.
354
00:20:23,470 --> 00:20:25,050
- You guys ready? - Yeah.
355
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,900
One, two, three.
356
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:34,410
Wait a minute.
357
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:35,830
Where's Eddie?
358
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,240
What's up, suckers?
359
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:41,600
Whoa!
360
00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:43,050
Ede?
361
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:45,510
This is unbelievable.
362
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,090
He was working us the whole time.
363
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:50,030
We have our Wasabi Warrior.
364
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,180
Well played, Eddie. Well played.
365
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,030
No hard feelings, right, guys? Just playing the game.
366
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,440
Eddie.
367
00:21:00,270 --> 00:21:04,900
You are a lying, conniving snake.
368
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:06,710
Seriously, dude,
369
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,080
That was awesome.
370
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,440
Dude, you played us so good.
371
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,020
Hold on. We're about to hit a wave.
372
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,580
Oh no!
373
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,100
Whoa, we're flying now.
374
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,410
How do you stop this thing, Bobby?
375
00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:31,940
Bobby.
376
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,680
Bobby!
377
00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:40,280
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