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1
00:00:03,334 --> 00:00:04,734
Good morning, Dennis.
2
00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:07,033
Hey, Jack, if it's okay,
I'm gonna call maintenance
3
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,367
and have them hang
a shelf back here for some personal stuff.
4
00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:10,501
No, it's not okay.
5
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:12,434
Come on!
6
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:14,200
People bring me
ceramic kitties from all over the world
7
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,133
and I wanna share
them with the office.
8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,434
No, I meant
you should be more handy and do it yourself.
9
00:00:19,501 --> 00:00:21,767
Modern man
is way too dependent.
10
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:24,767
Tell you what,
I'll get my new executive tool-kit
11
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:26,501
and I'll put up
your shelf myself.
12
00:00:26,567 --> 00:00:31,167
Oh, that's the spirit.
Brave move. Very admirable.
13
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,734
Hey, maintenance?
Yeah.
14
00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,901
I'll need a drywaller,
a painter and a paramedic.
15
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,567
Great.
16
00:00:40,801 --> 00:00:42,901
Morning, all.
17
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:45,567
Oh, God, what's that
filthy thing doing in the office?
18
00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:47,734
Oh, come on,
she works here.
19
00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,133
Please, I am not
in the mood.
20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,567
Dorna Luge gave out
parakeets at the party
21
00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:57,000
celebrating
her summer collection,
22
00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:59,267
and the dumb thing
kept me up all night.
23
00:00:59,334 --> 00:01:01,167
Ooh, Dorna Luge
is back in the country?
24
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,267
Did she bring
me anything?
25
00:01:02,334 --> 00:01:04,534
Yeah. Here.
26
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:06,634
(CHUCKLES)
Ooh! Meow, meow.
27
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,734
A calico.
28
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:15,801
Oh, why'd they have
to queer it up with a pink collar?
29
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:18,033
Nina, couldn't
you've left that thing at home?
30
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:19,467
Well, I would have,
but Dorna mentioned
31
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:21,534
she might stop by
the office
32
00:01:21,601 --> 00:01:23,701
and I wanted her to see
how much I love her asinine party favor.
33
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,133
Since when do you care
what Dorna Luge thinks?
34
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,133
Since she hosts
a voyage to Greece on her yacht every summer.
35
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,300
It's two glorious weeks
of beautiful people and flowing champagne.
36
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:38,767
My God, there'll be
more pairing off than on Noah's Ark.
37
00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:40,300
Just keep that thing
in your office.
38
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,767
I don't want it
destroying the place.
39
00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:44,000
Clear!
40
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:49,100
And that concludes
today's episode of "This Old Man."
41
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:19,133
Hey, Maya.
Morning, Elliott.
42
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,968
Listen, are you doing
anything on Sunday?
43
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:22,501
Why? What's up?
44
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:25,067
My family's having
a birthday party for my little brother.
45
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:27,467
And you're inviting me?
That is so sweet.
46
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:29,634
Wait. Why are
you inviting me?
47
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:31,434
Because I like you.
And I thought you'd get a kick
48
00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:33,400
out of a big Italian
Sunday dinner.
49
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:37,400
That is so nice.
Why, really?
50
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:40,300
Okay, my mother's always
trying to set me up with the neighbor's daughter.
51
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:41,667
And you want me
there because...
52
00:02:41,734 --> 00:02:43,067
She's got a lower lip
like a pelican.
53
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,100
Pass.
Come on. Come on.
54
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:48,400
It'll mean a lot
to my brother to meet somebody new.
55
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:52,334
What does
that mean?
56
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,234
Well, my brother
had an accident when he was 18.
57
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,801
He fell.
58
00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:59,200
See, now,
he's a little slow.
59
00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,033
Oh. Oh!
60
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,701
Yeah. I mean,
he's the sweetest guy in the world.
61
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,200
You'll love him.
62
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,267
Well, yeah.
Sure. Yeah.
63
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,834
Great! Great!
I mean, you'll...
64
00:03:07,901 --> 00:03:09,434
You know, have good food.
You'll drink some wine.
65
00:03:09,501 --> 00:03:11,167
You'll feel like
you're part of the family.
66
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,067
And by the way,
just don't wear any make-up.
67
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:14,334
Why not?
68
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,534
My mother
will call you a whore.
69
00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:23,634
Dennis, is there anything
for patching a wall in my tool-kit?
70
00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:24,801
Nope.
71
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:29,334
Well, then exchange it
for the executive hammock.
72
00:03:43,801 --> 00:03:45,267
Hey, what's this?
73
00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:46,367
What?
74
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,567
This.
75
00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:49,701
Let me see. Oh.
76
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:51,267
You know what that is?
77
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,300
One of those old
pneumatic tube systems
78
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,567
for sending paperwork
around the building.
79
00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:59,334
Oh, my God, you're right.
I'll telegraph President Coolidge.
80
00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:05,767
No, but I wonder
if it still works.
81
00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,000
Ah, I'd be surprised.
82
00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,200
(HISSING)
83
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:09,767
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
84
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:11,934
No big deal.
That was my cheap watch.
85
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,067
I gave you that watch.
86
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,567
Who wants a watch
with a cat on it?
87
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:25,534
Hey. Hey.
88
00:04:25,601 --> 00:04:26,634
Elliott!
89
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,200
Ma!
Oh, honey!
90
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:30,801
Hi, Ma.
Hey, everybody.
91
00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:33,334
Oh, it's so good
to see you.
92
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,901
I want you to
meet Maya.
93
00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:37,334
Hi, Mrs. DiMauro.
It's so nice to meet you.
94
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,868
Oh, it's nice
to meet you, too.
95
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:42,734
Are you wearing rouge?
96
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:44,200
No.
97
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:47,234
'Cause it looks like
you're wearing rouge.
98
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,501
It's really cold out.
I swear.
99
00:04:51,701 --> 00:04:53,767
Okay.
100
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:57,667
Come on.
I'll introduce you to my brother Donnie.
101
00:04:57,734 --> 00:05:01,400
Donnie!
Donnie, this is my friend, Maya!
102
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,567
Happy birthday,
Donnie!
103
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:07,400
I'm Donnie with a "D."
Green quarter?
104
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:08,501
Huh?
105
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,033
He likes it
when people give him money.
106
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,200
Oh.
107
00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:14,467
Here you go.
108
00:05:14,534 --> 00:05:16,434
Green quarter.
109
00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:18,334
He likes
paper money.
110
00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:23,300
Okay. Here you go.
111
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,434
Thank you.
112
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:26,634
I'm all done!
113
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,734
Oh, I'll get that.
114
00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:30,200
I'll get it.
115
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:34,701
I love you, Ma.
116
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:39,000
Oh, you see,
that makes it all worthwhile.
117
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:42,100
I love you, table.
118
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:48,300
Okay, Donnie.
You wanna help me with the dishes, huh?
119
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:49,400
Break the dishes!
120
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:50,834
Never mind.
121
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,400
Donnie, you want
something to drink?
122
00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:56,400
Donnie wants a beer.
123
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:57,601
You know what
the doctor said...
124
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:58,667
Donnie wants a beer!
125
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,400
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Maya?
126
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,734
A glass of wine
would be great.
127
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:02,901
Okay.
128
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,567
So, today is
your birthday.
129
00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:17,734
You're pretty.
130
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,734
Thank you.
131
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,334
Donnie wants a kiss.
132
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,868
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, that's...
133
00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:29,400
That's sweet.
134
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,000
Kissey.
135
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,767
Oh, well...
136
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,801
No, Donnie want a kiss
like on Showtime.
137
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,467
Well, I don't think
we know each other well enough.
138
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,801
But you can be
my pretend boyfriend.
139
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,868
So, you like
football, huh?
140
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:58,100
Donnie has a secret.
You promise not to tell anybody?
141
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:00,667
Well, sure, I promise.
142
00:07:00,734 --> 00:07:02,367
Swear, cross your heart?
143
00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:03,868
Cross my heart.
144
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:05,934
On a stack
of Bible books.
145
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:07,734
I swear.
146
00:07:08,634 --> 00:07:10,501
Okay, here's the deal.
147
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,334
I'm not really slow,
all right?
148
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,868
I faked falling out
of that tree.
149
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,300
And now everybody
waits on me hand and foot.
150
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,734
It is the sweetest scam
in the world.
151
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:30,801
What?
Yeah.
152
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,601
So, you wanna go
get some sushi?
153
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:36,367
Have a little sake?
Get a little weird? Whatever?
154
00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:37,434
(STUTTERING) I...
155
00:07:37,501 --> 00:07:40,434
It's okay, babe.
I'm not really dumb.
156
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:44,067
I'm just slow
in the good ways.
157
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:46,000
ALL:
Happy Birthday, Donnie!
158
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,200
Yay!
159
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,767
Okay, now, blow
out the candles.
160
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:53,400
Yay!
161
00:07:54,968 --> 00:07:56,868
Oh, Donnie.
162
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:01,968
Donnie's sticky.
Maya give Donnie a bath.
163
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:05,734
That's so cute.
He likes you.
164
00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:18,934
What an amazing system.
165
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,467
I just wish I knew
where the hell these things ended up.
166
00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:28,234
I tell you, it's like
the Bermuda Triangle.
167
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,367
Let's do some
light bulbs.
168
00:08:33,801 --> 00:08:37,701
Finch, can you pre-chew
this olive? I need to feed the parakeet.
169
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,400
Excuse me?
170
00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,667
What part of pre-chew
an olive and feed a parakeet don't you understand?
171
00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:47,033
All of it. For starters,
parakeets don't eat olives.
172
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:50,634
Oh, who cares?
In two hours Dorna Luge will drop by for lunch,
173
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:53,567
see how much I love
her gift, and invite me to go yachting.
174
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,901
Bad news.
Dorna Luge had to put off lunch 'till tomorrow.
175
00:08:56,968 --> 00:09:00,367
So, to make up for it,
she sent over a few more birds.
176
00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:01,901
How much is a few?
177
00:09:01,968 --> 00:09:03,234
Hmm, 100.
178
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,567
There are 100 birds
in my office?
179
00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:08,400
Well, 99.
180
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:12,501
One of them took a sip
of your "orange juice" and flew into a fan.
181
00:09:14,501 --> 00:09:18,400
Hey, Finch, this
is my little brother, Donnie.
182
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:19,701
(EXCLAIMS)
183
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,734
Blush rhymes
with comb.
184
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,434
Yeah.
185
00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:25,100
ELLIOTT: Yeah.
186
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:28,400
For some reason
he really wanted to come to work with me today.
187
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,734
Hey, what's going
on there, brother?
188
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:34,300
You're small.
189
00:09:39,968 --> 00:09:42,667
Hmm, I seem to
be having a moral dilemma.
190
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,000
Elliott, can I
talk to you?
191
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:48,901
Yeah, just one minute.
192
00:09:48,968 --> 00:09:50,701
Jack, I told you
about my little brother, Donnie, right?
193
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:52,133
Yes, you have.
194
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,968
Hey, Donnie,
wanna see a magic trick?
195
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:57,234
No.
196
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,434
Sure you do.
197
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,968
Alakazam!
I made the pencil rubber.
198
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,400
Donnie need
quiet time.
199
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:14,133
How did Donnie
get hurt?
200
00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:16,367
Why?
201
00:10:16,434 --> 00:10:17,901
I was just wondering.
202
00:10:17,968 --> 00:10:19,200
It's not important.
203
00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:22,367
I'm just so curious
about what happened with him.
204
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,634
It was the summer
after he graduated high school.
205
00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:31,267
We were playing Frisbee,
and I threw it too high and it landed in a tree.
206
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:34,467
Well, Donnie volunteered
to go get it, which wasn't at all like him.
207
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,200
Next thing I know,
I hear this horrible thud
208
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:38,968
and there's Donnie,
laying on the grass.
209
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,667
And he was
never the same.
210
00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:42,834
You wanna know
the saddest part?
211
00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:44,834
What?
212
00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:47,934
He was supposed to
start work at the plant the very next day.
213
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,133
All because I threw that
damn Frisbee too high!
214
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,400
It wasn't your fault.
215
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,701
Yes, it was!
It was all my fault.
216
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,868
That's why I send Donnie
money every week.
217
00:10:56,934 --> 00:10:58,501
You don't?
218
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,100
Hey, at least
the poor guy gets a little pleasure
219
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,300
from spending his day
in a video arcade.
220
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:05,567
I just wish
it wasn't next to that adult bookstore.
221
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,400
Where is he?
222
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,634
He was just here.
223
00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:14,968
Donnie! Donnie. Donnie!
224
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,300
Mmm, happy juice.
Warm in Donnie's tummy.
225
00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:18,701
Donnie, that's not
apple cider.
226
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,167
Apple cider!
227
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,033
Hey, Elliott,
Hugo Boss on three.
228
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,167
Ah, shoot.
229
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:26,067
Ha, ha, you're small.
230
00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:33,567
Just walk away.
He's very special.
231
00:11:35,734 --> 00:11:36,968
Go ahead.
I'll take care of him.
232
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:38,534
Thank you, Jack.
Donnie, I'll be right back.
233
00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:39,868
Hurry!
234
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,667
Donnie, you wanna
have some fun?
235
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:44,767
No, thank you.
236
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,133
Attaboy.
Give me your hand.
237
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:51,434
Oh, good,
you're here.
238
00:11:51,501 --> 00:11:54,701
Donnie, we found
some tubes in the wall,
239
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:58,667
and now we're trying
to see where the tubes go.
240
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:03,901
You see, things
go away, and they never come back.
241
00:12:03,968 --> 00:12:08,367
How the heck does it work?
I guess we'll never know.
242
00:12:09,434 --> 00:12:10,701
Vacuum.
243
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:14,000
Yeah, right, vacuum.
244
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,234
Let 'er rip.
245
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:23,000
Before I was born,
I ate through here!
246
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:25,701
Hey, what's going on?
247
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:29,934
You wanna get out of here
before the old man tries to steal my nose?
248
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:34,467
I think
what you're doing is terrible.
249
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:36,033
What's the big deal?
250
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,667
It's demeaning
to people with real problems.
251
00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:41,601
Demeaning? No, it's...
It's an homage.
252
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:48,567
Your mother
waits on you hand and foot,
253
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,400
so you can sit
around and be lazy.
254
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:53,334
And your poor brother's
been wracked with guilt for years
255
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,400
thinking
he's responsible.
256
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,133
What are those, D-cups?
257
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:02,701
You are so creepy!
Stop acting like an idiot!
258
00:13:03,901 --> 00:13:05,067
Maya?
259
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:06,367
(CRYING)
260
00:13:06,434 --> 00:13:10,434
Maya mean to Donnie!
Why?
261
00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:28,868
Donnie not stupid!
Donnie's stupendous!
262
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:31,701
Who's the king?
263
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,767
I am.
264
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,467
Come on.
Who's the king?
265
00:13:34,534 --> 00:13:35,701
I am.
266
00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,334
Yeah, you bet
you are, buddy.
267
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,868
Just give me
one minute, okay?
268
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:41,634
I don't eat
paste anymore.
269
00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:43,501
Good. You tell Jack.
270
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:45,200
Wait.
271
00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:52,934
What is it, Donnie?
272
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000
I don't eat
paste anymore.
273
00:13:56,734 --> 00:13:57,734
Oh!
274
00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:01,367
Okay, what if Donnie
275
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,434
is putting on a big act?
276
00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:05,501
What?
277
00:14:05,567 --> 00:14:07,234
(SOFTLY)
Come here.
278
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:13,634
He's faking it.
279
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:16,200
He's not faking it.
280
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:19,367
He told me
he's not really slow.
281
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,200
Oh, that's what
this is about.
282
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:23,601
God, he's so brave.
Elliott.
283
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,667
Look, I understand
why you think he's okay.
284
00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:28,634
Everyone in my family's
had those moments.
285
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,667
Those glimmers of hope,
where we think he's with us,
286
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:33,234
but trust me,
it's fleeting!
287
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,868
I once caught him
reading the business section and I got so excited, Maya!
288
00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,634
It turns out he was
just playing peek-a-boo with an armchair!
289
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:40,834
I don't think
you understand.
290
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:43,534
It's frustrating
for all of us, Maya!
291
00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,968
He can play the most
complicated video game for hours,
292
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:48,868
but you ask him
to mow the lawn and nothing!
293
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,834
I can prove
he's faking it.
294
00:14:51,901 --> 00:14:54,367
Give me three minutes
alone with him and listen in.
295
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,000
You're crazy! No way!
296
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,567
MAYA: Three minutes.
297
00:14:57,634 --> 00:14:59,467
Elliott, go with me on this.
Why? Why should I?
298
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,467
Please, trust me.
(WHISPERING) Why should I?
299
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:05,000
Because why would I lie?
What would I possibly have to gain?
300
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:07,000
All right.
But just to prove you wrong.
301
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:10,601
But wait a few minutes.
He's having so much fun with Jack.
302
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:15,968
You see, Donnie,
they work on magnets. Just like the elevator.
303
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:20,100
Magnets? No.
Donnie thinks it's vacuum.
304
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:26,701
Vacuum.
That's so cute.
305
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,300
Come here, you.
306
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,601
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
307
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:34,267
(DOOR OPENING)
308
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:39,033
What're you doing?
309
00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,601
I'm talking to them.
They seem depressed.
310
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:44,033
Depressed?
They're birds.
311
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,133
Yeah, they happen to
be highly intelligent.
312
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,267
How do you know?
313
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:49,167
They don't like you.
314
00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,901
Well, the feeling
is mutual.
315
00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:56,133
And if they're so intelligent,
then how do you account for this?
316
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,100
Well, go on.
You're free.
317
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:01,601
See? It's so stupid
it doesn't even know the cage is open.
318
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,734
You're provoking
the alpha male.
319
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:05,501
Oh, you don't know
what you're talking about.
320
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,367
Yes, I do.
I used to date an ornithologist.
321
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,100
That's the study
of keys, yes?
322
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:14,701
Hmm, birds.
Remember we were just talking about birds?
323
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,801
So, what happened?
324
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:19,868
She dumped me 'cause
all the other ornithologists made fun of her
325
00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:22,467
for going out
with a guy named Finch.
326
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:25,601
Hurtful eggheads.
327
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:28,000
Why couldn't
they just let us be?
328
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:33,467
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
329
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,133
Okay, Elliott,
can you hear me?
330
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,000
ELLIOTT:
Yes, I can hear you.
331
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,501
Okay. Put your side on mute,
so that when Donnie comes in here
332
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:48,968
he can't hear
you breathing, okay?
333
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:52,767
Okay? Elliott?
334
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:53,868
ELLIOTT:
I had it on mute.
335
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:55,000
Why didn't
you say so?
336
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:56,934
It was on mute.
337
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,901
Okay. I see him.
I'm gonna ask him to come in here for a second.
338
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:02,801
Donnie, could you
come in here for a second?
339
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,033
I'm Donnie.
340
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:09,901
(CHUCKLES)
341
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:15,100
We're alone now.
You can drop the act.
342
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,200
I don't know
what it is,
343
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:21,234
but I haven't been able
to take my eyes off you all afternoon.
344
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,300
My dog smiles
with his tail.
345
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:24,734
(CHUCKLES)
346
00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:26,767
Come on, Donnie.
347
00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:29,934
You know what you proposed
at the house, I'm into it.
348
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,701
In a big way.
349
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:34,601
Chicken pot, chicken pot,
chicken pot pie!
350
00:17:41,968 --> 00:17:46,234
Come on, Donnie.
Seriously, drop the act.
351
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,067
You want it,
I want it.
352
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:52,767
Show me the real you
and I'll give you the sugar.
353
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:56,033
Donnie's scared.
Donnie wanna take a nap.
354
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:57,868
(SOFTLY)
All over you.
355
00:17:57,934 --> 00:18:01,601
Oh, come on.
It turns me on to hear how smart you are!
356
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,534
How you fell out of
that tree on purpose.
357
00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:06,834
And how you've been
fooling everyone, you clever thing.
358
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,801
Donnie wanna climb tree.
359
00:18:08,868 --> 00:18:11,434
That's a metaphor.
You're the tree.
360
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:14,901
All right, that's it!
That's enough! You okay, Donnie?
361
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,701
My pants are tight!
362
00:18:25,868 --> 00:18:26,968
It's okay, Donnie.
363
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,467
Elliott, I swear.
364
00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:31,300
Look, I don't know
what you think you're doing here, but it's over.
365
00:18:31,367 --> 00:18:33,834
I know my brother.
And the thought that he, or anyone else,
366
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,701
could fake a head injury
for this long
367
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:37,634
is completely
beyond comprehension.
368
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,267
Elliott,
he told me.
369
00:18:39,334 --> 00:18:41,267
I don't care
what you think you heard.
370
00:18:41,334 --> 00:18:44,601
Look at him, Maya.
Look at that innocent child-like face
371
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:48,567
and tell me he's capable
of something like this.
372
00:18:48,634 --> 00:18:51,734
I didn't think so.
Come on, Donnie. We're going.
373
00:18:56,534 --> 00:19:00,334
What am I, an idiot?
I've been doing this for over 10 years.
374
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,667
Seriously.
375
00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:02,801
Yay!
376
00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:06,801
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
377
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,968
Finch, any sign
of Dorna Luge yet?
378
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,200
ON INTERCOM:
No, not yet.
379
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:15,801
Well, she better
get here soon
380
00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:18,467
because I am this close
to stuffing these annoying little creatures
381
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,567
into Jack's
pneumatic tube.
382
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:23,300
Oh.
383
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:25,167
Hello, little bird.
384
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:27,767
And how did you get
out of your cage?
385
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:43,534
Finch.
386
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:45,701
Yeah, what is it?
387
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,334
ON INTERCOM: The birds
seem to have gotten out of their cages.
388
00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:53,367
And the head bird,
it seems to be pecking through the phone li...
389
00:19:53,434 --> 00:19:54,801
(DIAL TONE)
390
00:19:56,734 --> 00:19:58,334
(NINA SCREAMING)
391
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:18,467
Hey, Donnie, I think
I finally got those tubes figured out.
392
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:19,968
(SOFTLY)
Kill me. Kill me. Kill me.
393
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:25,200
You see, it uses hot air
to force the capsule through the tubes.
394
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,267
Donnie says vacuum.
395
00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:30,701
Vacuum.
396
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:35,200
Boy, when you get an idea
in your head, it sticks like taffy, doesn't it?
397
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:39,534
No, Donnie,
when air is hot, it rises.
398
00:20:40,868 --> 00:20:42,200
Vacuum.
399
00:20:43,467 --> 00:20:45,601
No. Hot air.
400
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:49,567
It's the same reason
a Pop-Tart jumps out of the toaster.
401
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,467
Or why a helicopter...
402
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:55,267
Oh, for
the love of God, it's not hot air,
403
00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:58,868
it's not magnets,
it's a vacuum, Jacko!
404
00:20:58,934 --> 00:21:03,267
It's like a straw.
Do you ever use a straw, huh, lab partner?
405
00:21:03,334 --> 00:21:06,467
Air withdrawn from one side
is replaced from the other side.
406
00:21:06,534 --> 00:21:08,467
And then the airstream
creates pressure,
407
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:12,334
which allows the objects
to propel through the freaking tubes!
408
00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:20,000
I love you, tubes.
409
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:24,400
Green quarter?
410
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:29,033
Chicken pot,
chicken pot, chicken pot pie!
411
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:32,501
Donnie, what the hell?
412
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:33,901
Oh, crap!
413
00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:36,901
Now I got to
get a job.
414
00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:02,734
DENNIS: No birds were hurt
during the filming of this show.
415
00:22:02,801 --> 00:22:03,834
Oops.
416
00:22:03,884 --> 00:22:08,434
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