Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:16,968
NARRATOR:
In a borough just north of the Isle of Staten,
2
00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:20,701
'neath the towers
that tower over midtown Manhattan,
3
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:25,434
streets glittered
with tinsel like some sequined drag queen
4
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:30,400
and Christmas joy was
aflush at Blush Magazine.
5
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:34,200
The workers wrapped gifts
with a nip and a tuck.
6
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,000
Everybody was happy...
7
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,734
God, people suck!
8
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:40,501
What's the matter?
9
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:44,334
I woke up at 4:00 a.m.
to wait on line at Toy Town
10
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,567
to get one of
those Sneezing Charlie dolls for the boy I tutor.
11
00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:49,501
Turns out they
were all gone.
12
00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:53,133
Some rich guy bribed
the manager to let him buy the entire inventory.
13
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,033
What's so great
about Sneezing Charlie?
14
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:58,167
Are you kidding?
It sneezes. It complains.
15
00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,033
Its nose gets all...
16
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:02,200
I don't know,
Rosie O'Donnell was winging them at her audience,
17
00:01:02,267 --> 00:01:04,934
and now
everybody wants one.
18
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,567
Morning.
Morning.
19
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,067
Finch,
hold all my calls.
20
00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:12,200
Uh, I don't actually
answer your phone, but consider it done.
21
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,467
Oh, I rented
the saddest movie last night.
22
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,868
Oh, Free Willy 2?
23
00:01:18,934 --> 00:01:21,767
No. Titanic.
I'm still reeling.
24
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,701
I know, what a
horrible tragedy.
25
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:29,434
Oh, yeah. All those
beautiful clothes lost at the bottom of the sea.
26
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:32,033
Man, people knew how
to dress back then.
27
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:36,167
Even those poor slobs
in steerage managed to put a coat on for dinner.
28
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:40,400
You know, these days
nobody gets dressed up.
29
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,968
Not on airplanes.
Not in the theater. Not at the workplace.
30
00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:46,701
You know,
everyone is so quick to blame the absentee father,
31
00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,200
but I'll tell
you something.
32
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,100
It's casual wear that
is ruining this society.
33
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:54,400
That's ridiculous.
34
00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:57,701
I happen to think
that some people look good in casual wear.
35
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,234
Like who?
36
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:02,000
Well, like me
for example.
37
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,968
Oh, good God,
is that a fashion statement?
38
00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:06,234
I thought you were just
allergic to everything else.
39
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,400
What? This is J. Crew.
I have tons of his stuff.
40
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:12,000
I probably put his
kids through college.
41
00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,434
Mmm-hmm.
42
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:17,267
A, mail order was meant
for discreet pornography.
43
00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:20,534
Amen to that, sister.
44
00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:23,968
And B, I hate to
break this to you,
45
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,467
but there is no such
person as J. Crew.
46
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:28,234
That is a made-up name.
He doesn't exist.
47
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:31,100
He doesn't? Are you sure?
48
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:34,634
Maya, Maya, poor, naive
woman-child Maya.
49
00:02:34,701 --> 00:02:36,467
There is no J. Crew.
50
00:02:36,534 --> 00:02:39,501
And, and furthermore,
casual wear is for children.
51
00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:41,801
Adults should wear
sophisticated clothing.
52
00:02:42,968 --> 00:02:44,734
We live in a world gone mad!
53
00:02:44,801 --> 00:02:47,801
I swear I would sleep with the
next man I see wearing a hat!
54
00:02:51,033 --> 00:02:52,701
Run, dude!
55
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,334
Hey.
Hey.
56
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,000
What's wrong
with you, Elliott?
57
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:02,367
Christmas. It's depressing.
58
00:03:02,434 --> 00:03:05,133
It's gotten
so commercial, it's lost all its spiritual meaning.
59
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,267
No, it hasn't.
This is such a cliche.
60
00:03:07,334 --> 00:03:11,200
Check it out!
Lollipops in the shape of Jesus!
61
00:03:13,634 --> 00:03:15,267
"My Sweet Lord."
62
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,434
JACK: Uh-huh.
63
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,767
Somebody's going to hell.
64
00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:23,234
Okay, let's get started.
We got a lot of work to do.
65
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,367
Item one, I bought
a little puppy as a surprise for Hannah.
66
00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:28,467
Oh, Dad, that is
so nice... That's so sweet.
67
00:03:28,534 --> 00:03:30,734
And I need someone to
keep it till I give it to her on Christmas.
68
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:33,334
I can't. I'm...
NINA: I'm highly allergic. I can't stand dogs.
69
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,667
I'll do it.
70
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:37,334
Because a good deed
is its own reward.
71
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:41,701
Although, since it's
Christmas, a better reward might be a new set of wheels.
72
00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:45,100
Possibly a moped with
a sidecar for the honeys.
73
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,501
Dennis, you're not
getting a moped.
74
00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:52,934
Moped, motor scooter,
whatever.
75
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,100
Okay, one last reminder,
for those who are interested in caroling tonight,
76
00:03:57,167 --> 00:04:02,868
we meet in the lobby at 6:00
p.m. Oh, oh, and we need somebody to be Santa Claus.
77
00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:04,434
I'll do it.
78
00:04:04,501 --> 00:04:06,868
Anybody at all.
Uh, Elliott?
79
00:04:06,934 --> 00:04:09,601
I don't get Christmas.
To me it's become a whole marketing...
80
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,467
Very good.
Anybody else? Nina?
81
00:04:12,534 --> 00:04:15,267
You like bouncing
young men in your lap.
82
00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:17,000
Oh, no, I couldn't.
83
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:18,467
Well, are you sure?
84
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:22,167
Oh, I'm quite certain.
The judge was most explicit on this point.
85
00:04:23,901 --> 00:04:26,534
Well, that only leaves
one person.
86
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,367
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Ho, ho, ho.
87
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:33,167
Okay, okay.
I was merely concerned about your brittle thighs.
88
00:04:33,234 --> 00:04:36,601
I've been doing squats.
Eighty pounds.
89
00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:39,033
Two sets of five.
90
00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:44,801
NARRATOR: And now we return
to the office of Blush,
91
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:49,701
where Finch accused Nina
of being a lush.
92
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,667
Jack sat at his desk eating
soup made from barley.
93
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:56,200
And Maya still needed that
one Sneezing Charlie.
94
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,434
Dad?
Hmm?
95
00:04:57,501 --> 00:04:58,868
Can I borrow your car?
96
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:01,067
Sure. Where're you going?
97
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,167
To the Paramus Park Mall
to pick up one of those Sneezing Charlie dolls.
98
00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:06,234
It's the toy this year.
When you clap, they go, "Achoo, achoo."
99
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,667
(DOLL SNEEZING)
100
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,467
MAYA: Where did you
get these?
101
00:05:11,534 --> 00:05:15,834
Late last night at Toy Town.
They do special favors for VIPs.
102
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,267
(CLICKS TONGUE)
103
00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:20,300
Oh, my God,
that was you!
104
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:24,667
Dad, while you just waltzed in
there, I and about 30 other people waited for hours
105
00:05:24,734 --> 00:05:26,534
in the cold for these dolls.
106
00:05:26,601 --> 00:05:29,200
Before you get all
high and mighty on me,
107
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:32,801
I happen to be giving
them away to children throughout the city.
108
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,334
Really? Oh. I'm sorry.
109
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:41,067
Well, maybe next time
you'll get all the facts before you rush to judgment.
110
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,234
Hey, Jack. Ralph Lauren
is on a family ski trip.
111
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:47,067
Should I overnight his
Sneezing Charlies to Aspen for his grandkids?
112
00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:48,901
Ralph Lauren?
113
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:51,934
Uh, whatever.
Thank you. Bye now.
114
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Did I say something wrong?
If I did, it was an accident. That's not bad behavior.
115
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,200
These are your advertisers.
They're all millionaires.
116
00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:07,100
So, millionaires have
children, too. Or if not children, dogs.
117
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,834
So, you seriously believe
that Tommy Hilfiger's kids
118
00:06:10,901 --> 00:06:13,200
need this doll more than
the little boy I tutor?
119
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,334
Let me ask you
a question, Maya.
120
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,534
Did the little boy you tutor
121
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:22,734
have his favorite toy knocked
into the ocean by the boom sail of his father's yacht?
122
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:28,634
If I can fill that void
and help dry his tears, then I've done my part.
123
00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:36,801
And if, say, his father
returns the favor by buying more ads in your magazine...
124
00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:40,667
Then everybody wins!
125
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:45,400
Congratulations! You've
managed to completely debase the spirit of Christmas.
126
00:06:46,968 --> 00:06:48,567
(SLAMS)
127
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:52,200
SNEEZING CHARLIE:
Achoo! I don't feel good. My head hurts.
128
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,601
You ought to meet her mother.
129
00:07:08,634 --> 00:07:11,567
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but you seem a little down.
130
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:18,467
It's Christmas. I know
I should be happy, but I just feel, like,
131
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:22,167
so empty.
132
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,200
Aw, you know what
you need?
133
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,334
You need to do something
incredibly Christmassy.
134
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:30,100
Like go out and get a tree.
Or better yet, put on a coat and tie.
135
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,534
Huh.
136
00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:38,634
We don't have a tree, do we?
I like Christmas trees. They're simple and pure.
137
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:40,834
I think I'm gonna go get one.
138
00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:42,300
Atta boy.
139
00:07:42,367 --> 00:07:45,300
Yeah. But, uh,
first I'm gonna swing by the hospital.
140
00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:47,267
I think I have a concussion.
141
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,334
Hey, Dennis, guess
what I got in here.
142
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,701
A human head?
143
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:56,067
Better. It's Hannah's
new puppy!
144
00:07:56,133 --> 00:07:57,234
(EXCLAIMING)
145
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,234
Look at him.
Isn't he adorable?
146
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,934
I wanna hold you and
cuddle you and take care of you forever.
147
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,200
Okay, gotta run.
148
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,234
Hey, hey. Wait.
Where're you going?
149
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,467
To pick up Hannah
and Allie for the caroling.
150
00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:10,267
So get into your Santa suit.
151
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:12,501
Oh, and keep everyone
out of my office.
152
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,634
That's where all
the presents are.
153
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,234
Including all of mine?
154
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:19,067
You're only getting one,
Dennis. It's from all of us.
155
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:20,968
When you say one,
does that include the helmet?
156
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:24,534
It's not a moped.
And no snooping!
157
00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:26,300
No way. Not me.
158
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:35,334
Now don't be a bad dog
and go in Jack's office.
159
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,467
Bad boy,
don't you go in there.
160
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:48,367
What are you doing?
You're not a good doggie!
161
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,200
Oh!
162
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:54,801
NARRATOR:
Jack's office was littered with presents galore.
163
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,167
Gifts upon gifts,
from ceiling to floor.
164
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,767
From Jack to Nina,
a gift most endearing.
165
00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:04,000
A beautiful necklace
with matching gold earrings.
166
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:06,801
From Maya to Elliot,
a mini TV.
167
00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:11,100
From Elliot to Jack,
not one club but three.
168
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,300
Frantic he searched,
as each gift got better.
169
00:09:14,367 --> 00:09:18,734
Until he found his,
a little bit wetter.
170
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:21,501
Bad dog!
171
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:24,434
Finch looked at the package
with anticipation.
172
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:29,167
Since they all had
chipped in, he had high expectation.
173
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:33,601
He opened his present.
It made his blood curdle...
174
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:38,400
His gift was a calendar,
shaped like a turtle!
175
00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:39,968
"Turtles of the World"?
176
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:41,901
Finch said with great rage.
177
00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:45,000
Turtles and turtles,
on every page!
178
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,601
Those dirty little...
179
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:49,501
He expressed his displeasure
with color and flair.
180
00:09:49,567 --> 00:09:52,901
Using words that our censors
will not let us share.
181
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:57,234
Then Finch got a thought,
it just popped in his head.
182
00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:01,334
A thought full of evil
and malice and dread.
183
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,934
I'll teach them a lesson,
oh, yes.
184
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:11,701
The Finch ranted.
This was one Finch who would not be taken for granted.
185
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:15,434
He asked for a yard
and they gave him an inch.
186
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:20,167
So Christmas this year would
be stolen by a Finch.
187
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:28,200
Once the caroling
finally ended,
188
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:32,801
the Finch snuck upstairs,
just as he intended.
189
00:10:32,868 --> 00:10:36,868
He tiptoed inside,
like a mean Santa Claus.
190
00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:40,868
And started his dastardly plan
without pause.
191
00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:44,167
He replaced all the gifts
he had bought for each friend.
192
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:46,167
Take that!
The Finch growled.
193
00:10:46,234 --> 00:10:47,300
Kiss my ass!
194
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:50,100
Ahem. Rear end.
195
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:53,133
For Nina a gift
she would most despise.
196
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,334
Some cheap wrinkle cream,
industrial size.
197
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,834
Now Elliot's turn to
suffer some digs.
198
00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:01,934
For the bald man,
a set of flowing blonde wigs.
199
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,801
For Maya and Jack,
gifts equally vicious.
200
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:08,167
The Finch's revenge
would be awfully delicious.
201
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:14,067
* You're a scoundrel,
Mr. Finch
202
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:18,534
* You really are a slime
203
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:21,300
* You're as evil as the devil
204
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:26,234
* As annoying as a mime,
Mr. Finch
205
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:33,267
* You are, without exception,
the most morally depraved creep of all time
206
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:42,200
* You're a serpent, Mr. Finch
207
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:47,033
* You're a sleazy, slimy worm
208
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:54,167
* You have all the inner
kindness of a flesh-consuming germ, Mr. Finch
209
00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:55,968
* If meanness were a crime
210
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:59,267
* For which you could be
arrested, convicted and then sent to prison
211
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:04,934
* You'd serve
a 99-and-a-half-year term *
212
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:15,634
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
213
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,367
What can I get ya?
214
00:12:17,434 --> 00:12:19,400
Oh, something Christmassy.
215
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:21,234
Um, double scotch
on the rocks.
216
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,100
Why is that Christmassy?
217
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,267
What are you, a priest?
Just pour.
218
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:31,467
MAN: That's a lovely dress.
219
00:12:31,534 --> 00:12:33,868
Oh, thanks.
220
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:36,067
You look very woodsy.
221
00:12:37,367 --> 00:12:40,300
Yeah. Gotta be
comfortable, right?
222
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,834
Good Lord,
he's one of those.
223
00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:45,767
Hi. I'm, uh... I'm Jay.
And you are?
224
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:48,434
Being hit on by a lumberjack.
225
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,100
I thought Manhattan was
pretty much logged out.
226
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:55,200
Well, actually, uh,
I'm just in town enjoying the holiday season.
227
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,601
Please tell me that's
not your Playbill.
228
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:02,734
Yeah, I, uh... I went
to the theater tonight.
229
00:13:02,801 --> 00:13:04,834
Well, not dressed
like that, I hope.
230
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,534
Sure, why not?
231
00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:09,534
I just don't believe in
casual wear.
232
00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:10,801
You don't mean that.
233
00:13:10,868 --> 00:13:12,100
Oh, I most certainly do.
234
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,133
Let me ask you something.
235
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,334
Do you remember the feeling
you had when you were a little kid,
236
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,000
when you came home from
church and you just couldn't wait to get out of those
237
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,801
stiff clothes and put on
a comfortable pair of jeans?
238
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,934
Where did that little girl go?
239
00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:32,267
I... I don't know
what you're talking about.
240
00:13:32,334 --> 00:13:33,334
BARTENDER: Here you go,
Mr. Crew.
241
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,400
Thank you.
242
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:42,367
Mr. Crew? Jay Crew?
Oh, that's rich.
243
00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:43,501
How's that?
244
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,767
Well, J. Crew.
Like the catalog.
245
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,334
Oh, you've seen
my catalog?
246
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,133
(SCOFFS) Your catalog?
What are you talking about?
247
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,801
There is no J. Crew.
I am quite sure of that.
248
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,667
That's why I've come, Nina.
249
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:12,834
Yes, I know that doll
is impossible to get, but anything for you, Vera.
250
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:15,334
We have a little saying
around here at Blush,
251
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,801
"You can never have
too much Wang."
252
00:14:18,868 --> 00:14:21,367
(LAUGHS) Okay.
Happy Holidays.
253
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,501
Boys, you're paying off
already.
254
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:29,434
(DOLLS SNEEZING)
255
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,434
Ha! Gets me every time.
256
00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:34,234
SNEEZING CHARLIE:
You make me sick.
257
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:41,234
(DOLLS SNEEZING)
258
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:42,601
SNEEZING CHARLIE 1:
My nose is running.
259
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,234
SNEEZING CHARLIE 2:
You're selfish, Jack.
260
00:14:45,901 --> 00:14:47,667
(LAUGHS)
261
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:49,767
SNEEZING CHARLIE 2:
Don't laugh at me.
262
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,601
What the hell?
263
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,634
You heard me,
you fat cat!
264
00:14:55,701 --> 00:15:00,467
Hey, business is business.
I can live with myself, so lay off.
265
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:04,300
SNEEZING CHARLIE: Give us
to poor kids or we'll haunt you in your dreams!
266
00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:05,801
What?
267
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:10,868
I said, give us to poor
kids or we'll rip your face off your skull!
268
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:17,267
(LAUGHING)
269
00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:20,234
Oh, bad Maya.
270
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:26,167
Nina, look at you.
271
00:15:28,701 --> 00:15:31,067
You'll never guess
who I met last night.
272
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,033
J. Crew.
273
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:34,934
Huh?
274
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,534
Yes, Maya, there
is a J. Crew.
275
00:15:39,501 --> 00:15:44,200
And he helped me
rediscover the spirit of casual wear.
276
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:47,367
I walked to work this
morning, Maya, and I was warm and comfortable
277
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,234
in a way that I
haven't been since I was a little girl.
278
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,667
But Nina...
279
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:53,801
Oh, I know you don't
believe this, do you?
280
00:15:53,868 --> 00:15:57,901
But J. Crew does exist,
in each and every one of us.
281
00:15:57,968 --> 00:16:00,701
In every Dad who ever
went sledding with his son.
282
00:16:00,767 --> 00:16:05,901
And every rugby player who
ever walked his Labrador along the frozen banks of a river.
283
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:10,067
And every couple who ever
sipped coffee on a redwood deck in their underwear.
284
00:16:11,934 --> 00:16:16,133
Um, Nina, I called the
company, and you were right.
285
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,300
There is no J. Crew.
There never was. He doesn't exist.
286
00:16:20,934 --> 00:16:23,567
Are you sure?
287
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,634
I'm positive.
288
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,334
Then who the hell did I
sleep with last night?
289
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,200
Hey, you guys! Come on.
I wanna show you something.
290
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:38,000
Hey, you seem a lot better.
291
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,434
Oh, I am.
292
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,067
I spent all morning looking
for a tree, and it was great.
293
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:46,300
Children running around, and
the scent of pine needles, and Christmas was in the air.
294
00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:48,267
And then I saw it.
295
00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:51,133
The sweetest little
Christmas tree I've ever seen.
296
00:16:53,901 --> 00:16:55,267
You're joking, right?
297
00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:56,601
No. Why?
298
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,400
This isn't a tree.
It's so scrawny and anemic.
299
00:16:59,467 --> 00:17:02,300
Looks like it hasn't
seen sunlight in months.
300
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:03,467
So do you.
301
00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:06,667
It is a pretty
lame tree, Elliott.
302
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:10,133
No, it's not. It's great.
It just needs to be fixed up a little.
303
00:17:13,434 --> 00:17:15,033
Nice going, brickhead.
304
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:19,901
What's wrong with me?
I'm such a loser.
305
00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:25,934
Come on, girls.
Let's get you undressed and take some pictures.
306
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:32,400
NARRATOR: The
work was all done, the gifts were all near.
307
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,534
Nina was two drinks
from faxing her rear.
308
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,634
Merry Christmas!
309
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:42,701
Merry Christmas, to everyone!
310
00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:45,200
And a Happy Hanukkah
to you, Persky.
311
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:47,133
Oh, thank you, sir.
312
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,234
We love you, Persky.
And I just wanted to make you feel comfortable.
313
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:54,434
Didn't want you to
feel left out, different from everyone else.
314
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:57,501
You know, like
you didn't belong.
315
00:17:58,701 --> 00:18:00,701
Thank you, sir.
316
00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:05,033
Dad? Where've
you been all day?
317
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:09,434
I just brought all the
Sneezing Charlie dolls down to the Children's Center.
318
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:14,434
Wow. I'm shocked.
You gave them all away?
319
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:17,801
Well, all except two.
One I saved for that little boy you tutor.
320
00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:19,367
Oh!
321
00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:23,300
And one I had
dismantled and buried under the Meadowlands.
322
00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:25,634
Maya, do you
have the copy for...
323
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:27,601
Wow, look at my tree.
324
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:29,000
Um...
325
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,000
You see? I told you
it was a great tree.
326
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,767
I told you it would
be beautiful.
327
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,100
Actually...
328
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:36,334
I think we've all learned
a valuable lesson.
329
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,133
Every living creature
deserves to feel loved,
330
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,067
to feel needed,
especially at Christmas.
331
00:18:42,133 --> 00:18:45,934
I mean, and if you just
take the time to really look, you could
332
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,200
find beauty in... Oh, in
the most unlikely places.
333
00:18:49,267 --> 00:18:50,267
Like in the garbage.
334
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:52,968
Yes, even in the garbage!
335
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:55,367
Everyone's here!
Let's open some presents!
336
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,734
Oh, look at him,
he's like a little kid.
337
00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,133
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
338
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,300
Ha, relax, Dennis.
You'll get yours.
339
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,601
As will you.
340
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,033
All right, let's
open some stuff!
341
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:08,701
What's your rush?
342
00:19:08,767 --> 00:19:13,901
Well, I'm sure Persky here
has to get to temple before sundown or something.
343
00:19:13,968 --> 00:19:16,567
Could you show a little
consideration for our Jewish friends?
344
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:17,968
Actually, Hanukkah
was last week and...
345
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:20,367
Ah, zip it, Persky.
346
00:19:20,434 --> 00:19:22,167
Before we get to the presents,
how about a toast?
347
00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:23,200
All right.
348
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:25,601
Allow me.
To opening presents!
349
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,934
Hey, good idea.
How about I go first?
350
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:33,200
Okay. This is from Maya,
Nina, Elliott and me.
351
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:34,834
Ah! Wonder what it is?
352
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:40,200
Turtles of the world.
353
00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:43,534
Oh, it's just what
I've always wanted.
354
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:50,234
This makes my hard work,
low pay and lack of respect all seem worthwhile.
355
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:55,167
And look, it's this year's
calendar! I'll cherish this for the next eight days.
356
00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:56,968
Okay. Your turn.
357
00:19:57,033 --> 00:19:58,434
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
358
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,234
Open this one up, Elliott.
It's from me.
359
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:04,334
Wait, Dennis! You have
to look on December 25th!
360
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:10,734
"Bon Voyage"?
What does that mean?
361
00:20:10,801 --> 00:20:12,834
(CHUCKLES)
362
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:15,167
We all chipped in
to get you a trip to Turtle Bay resort in Hawaii.
363
00:20:15,234 --> 00:20:18,234
And we also rented one of
those mopeds, like you like.
364
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,000
NINA: You leave on Sunday.
365
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:21,801
(ALL LAUGH)
366
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,033
Huh?
367
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:30,534
It's just our way of saying
thank you for everything you do for us all year.
368
00:20:30,601 --> 00:20:34,801
Merry Christmas, Dennis.
Merry Christmas.
369
00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:38,000
NARRATOR: Now, I don't know
for sure, but so I am told.
370
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:43,667
The Finch's black heart
turned completely to gold.
371
00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:47,534
Nicest thing anybody's
ever done for me.
372
00:20:47,601 --> 00:20:51,200
NARRATOR: For once
the Finch felt like more than a peasant.
373
00:20:51,267 --> 00:20:55,100
Then he noticed that Elliott
had opened his present.
374
00:20:57,901 --> 00:21:01,467
"To Elliott, from Finch.
Take that, you baldheaded loser."
375
00:21:04,501 --> 00:21:06,567
What the hell?
376
00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:10,434
NARRATOR: A Finch,
he is clever. He always survives.
377
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:11,868
(SIREN WAILING)
378
00:21:11,934 --> 00:21:15,067
Fire! Fire!
Run for your lives!
379
00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:20,033
NARRATOR: And those
jingle bells rang from New York to New Jersey,
380
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:25,200
Merry Christmas to all,
and Happy Hanukkah to Persky.
381
00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:28,534
PERSKY: Thank you, sir.
382
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,734
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you
383
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,667
* Keeps bringing me home
384
00:21:45,734 --> 00:21:48,701
* It don't matter
what I wanna do
385
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:53,834
* 'Cause it's got
a mind of its own
386
00:21:55,267 --> 00:21:59,567
* Life keeps bringing me
back to you *
387
00:21:59,617 --> 00:22:04,167
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30617
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof