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1
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,868
Good morning.
2
00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:21,517
Hey, if you need
a stronger jolt,
3
00:00:21,552 --> 00:00:23,332
you could always
gnaw on the cord.
4
00:00:23,367 --> 00:00:26,217
Sorry, I was out dancing
until 6 this morning.
5
00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:29,067
God, it's windy on top
of the Chrysler building.
6
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,334
I just don't know if I can
keep doing this every night.
7
00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:34,466
Well, you know,
8
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,551
every once in a while
you could stay home.
9
00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,610
Uh, no way. No more parties
at my place.
10
00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:40,599
Everybody has a great time,
makes a mess,
11
00:00:40,634 --> 00:00:43,000
but nobody ever wants to stay
and clean up, or untie me.
12
00:00:47,234 --> 00:00:49,165
Maya, do you
believe in fate?
13
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,133
Oh, let me guess-
you met a new woman.
14
00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:52,766
As a matter of fact,
I have.
15
00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,901
Let's see...
Early 20s, new boobs?
16
00:00:54,936 --> 00:00:57,833
No, late 60s, new hip.
17
00:00:57,868 --> 00:00:59,866
Okay, you've got my attention.
18
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,901
You know how I've had trouble
finding an apartment.
19
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,151
Yeah.
Well, I'm at breakfast,
20
00:01:03,186 --> 00:01:04,476
looking through
the classifieds,
21
00:01:04,511 --> 00:01:05,732
and this sweet old woman
comes up
22
00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:08,200
and asks if I know
anybody looking for a place.
23
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,367
I'm seeing it
this afternoon.
24
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,165
Great.
Come with me.
25
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,400
I'm an impulse buyer,
and if I see something I want,
26
00:01:13,435 --> 00:01:14,632
I can't control myself.
27
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:17,032
Oh, come on.
No, it's true.
28
00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,901
Like when I rented
my current place...
29
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:20,351
I flipped over
the faucets,
30
00:01:20,386 --> 00:01:21,677
somehow missing
the fact
31
00:01:21,712 --> 00:01:22,872
that it shares
a common wall
32
00:01:22,907 --> 00:01:24,033
with a
methadone clinic.
33
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,200
So, 6:00...
What do you say?
34
00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:28,732
You don't need me.
35
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:31,968
You remember that car,
the AMC Pacer?
36
00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:33,434
I'll be there.
37
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:38,332
Dennis,
I just had
38
00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,801
a very unpleasant
experience
39
00:01:39,836 --> 00:01:41,468
down in the garage.
40
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:43,065
Hey, don't feel bad.
41
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,701
With that soft skin
and those small hands,
42
00:01:44,736 --> 00:01:46,701
I thought
he was a girl too.
43
00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:53,384
That wasn't it, was it?
44
00:01:53,419 --> 00:01:55,933
Someone parked in my space.
45
00:01:55,968 --> 00:01:59,467
What? Why are you driving?
You don't drive.
46
00:01:59,502 --> 00:02:00,868
I mean, hmm...
47
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:05,234
My accountant says
I need to drive in once a year
48
00:02:05,269 --> 00:02:06,666
for tax purposes.
49
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:08,599
The one day you drive in
50
00:02:08,634 --> 00:02:11,050
is the one day
someone parks in your spot?
51
00:02:11,085 --> 00:02:13,432
Actually, the attendant says
that same Miata
52
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,300
has been parking in my spot
for the last few months.
53
00:02:17,634 --> 00:02:18,766
It all evens out.
54
00:02:18,801 --> 00:02:20,834
I mean, someone steals
your parking space,
55
00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:22,885
and you get wheeled
through airports
56
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,901
because you have
a trick pelvis.
57
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,900
Dennis, that parking space
is my territory.
58
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:36,400
And if you don't
defend your territory,
59
00:02:36,435 --> 00:02:37,566
the next thing
you know,
60
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:39,632
the yoga teacher's
in your bed
61
00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:42,267
wrapped around your wife
like a down comforter.
62
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:47,834
Where's my letter opener?
I'm gonna stick his tire.
63
00:02:47,869 --> 00:02:49,234
You can't mess
with this guy's car.
64
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,434
He's built
like a linebacker.
65
00:02:51,469 --> 00:02:53,032
How do you know?
66
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:56,400
Well, stands to reason...
Miata...
67
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:00,701
Do you know more
than you're saying?
68
00:03:00,736 --> 00:03:03,300
Mm-hmm, so far.
69
00:03:03,335 --> 00:03:04,599
Go on.
70
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:08,566
Suppose person A
knew of a commodity
71
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:11,467
that was never used
by its owner, person B.
72
00:03:11,502 --> 00:03:14,334
However, person C
was in need of said commodity
73
00:03:14,369 --> 00:03:16,599
and person A was
able to provide it,
74
00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:20,400
knowing person B would
never be inconvenienced...
75
00:03:20,435 --> 00:03:21,532
hypothetically.
76
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:24,467
Would person A
be receiving any money
77
00:03:24,502 --> 00:03:27,367
for said commodity...
hypothetically?
78
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:29,265
Suppose he were.
79
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,866
Then person A should either
80
00:03:31,901 --> 00:03:34,868
terminate his arrangement
immediately
81
00:03:34,903 --> 00:03:37,367
or get his resumé together.
82
00:03:37,402 --> 00:03:39,699
Hmm, hypothetically.
83
00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:42,717
No, I want that guy
out of my space
84
00:03:42,752 --> 00:03:45,701
before you can say,
"Hi, I'm Dennis.
85
00:03:45,736 --> 00:03:47,401
Welcome to Wal-Mart."
Well-
86
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,032
"Clock radios? Aisle five,
87
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,901
right next
to the fishing poles."
88
00:04:04,634 --> 00:04:06,133
Damn it, the landlady's
not even here.
89
00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:07,265
That's
a good thing.
90
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,783
Now you can really
look the place over.
91
00:04:09,818 --> 00:04:12,267
Right. No pressure.
Just take my time.
92
00:04:12,302 --> 00:04:14,167
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
93
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,000
Oh! Oh, my God,
94
00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:18,567
a living room!
95
00:04:18,602 --> 00:04:20,065
I'll take it!
96
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,132
Elliott-
97
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:22,367
No, I gotta
have this place.
98
00:04:22,402 --> 00:04:23,332
No,
look around.
99
00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:24,666
Check out the bedroom.
100
00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:26,799
Maybe there isn't a bedroom.
101
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,834
Actually, there are three
bedrooms and two bathrooms.
102
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,599
Mrs. Pierce,
remember me?
103
00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:32,667
I'm Elliott DiMauro
and this is Maya.
104
00:04:32,702 --> 00:04:33,534
This place
is fantastic.
105
00:04:34,901 --> 00:04:37,334
But you still want to ask
a few questions, right?
106
00:04:37,369 --> 00:04:39,133
Right... what's
the longest lease
107
00:04:39,168 --> 00:04:40,432
I can sign?
108
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,433
Elliott, remember
what we talked about?
109
00:04:42,468 --> 00:04:44,334
No impulsive decisions.
Now, settle.
110
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:46,200
We don't even know
how much the rent is.
111
00:04:46,235 --> 00:04:47,651
Two hundred dollars
a month.
112
00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:49,067
Done!
I'll write you a check.
113
00:04:49,102 --> 00:04:50,365
Well, actually...
114
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,033
there is another
interested party.
115
00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:53,632
Oh.
116
00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:54,799
But he's single,
and I-
117
00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,367
I would like to have
a nice married couple.
118
00:04:57,402 --> 00:04:59,899
Oh, no, see, we're not-
119
00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:03,000
Able to move in till
the first of the month,
120
00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:04,334
isn't that right,
sweetheart...
121
00:05:04,369 --> 00:05:06,232
ángel...
122
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:10,901
honey... please?
123
00:05:12,234 --> 00:05:15,100
Oh, I see
what's going on here.
124
00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:17,701
You're newlyweds.
125
00:05:17,736 --> 00:05:19,852
Is it that obvious?
126
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,968
So how did you meet?
127
00:05:23,434 --> 00:05:25,632
Um...
128
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,732
We work
at the same magazine.
129
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:30,200
Really? My husband
published magazines.
130
00:05:30,235 --> 00:05:31,399
Which ones?
131
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:33,901
Well, he didn't like
to bring his work home.
132
00:05:33,936 --> 00:05:35,133
Let's see,
what were they called?
133
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,032
Um, Mr. Keyhole,
134
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,934
uh, Foot Dreams,
and Backdoor Johnny.
135
00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:45,699
I never read any of them,
136
00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:47,332
but they must
have been very popular,
137
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,350
because Mr. Pierce
left me a bundle when he died.
138
00:05:50,385 --> 00:05:53,334
Oh, you're a widow.
How long has he been gone?
139
00:05:53,369 --> 00:05:54,935
Oh, 30 years.
140
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:56,466
He got so mad
141
00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:58,400
when the subway
went up to 20 cents,
142
00:05:58,435 --> 00:05:59,632
he jumped
the turnstile,
143
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:02,033
slipped and fell
on the third rail...
144
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:04,000
sizzled like a pork chop.
145
00:06:04,035 --> 00:06:05,933
That's terrible.
146
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,467
Oh, well, at least
he didn't die in vain.
147
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,532
Well, if it hadn't been
148
00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,167
for people like my husband
taking a stand,
149
00:06:11,202 --> 00:06:12,400
passengers today
might being paying
150
00:06:12,435 --> 00:06:14,567
as much as a quarter.
151
00:06:15,801 --> 00:06:17,400
You don't get
out much, do you?
152
00:06:17,435 --> 00:06:19,466
Well, just to walk my dog.
153
00:06:19,501 --> 00:06:21,317
My tenants
do my shopping for me.
154
00:06:21,352 --> 00:06:23,098
They practically
block the door
155
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,934
if I try to go out
and buy something myself.
156
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,766
I'll bet they do.
157
00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:29,767
Well, let's start
in the kitchen.
158
00:06:29,802 --> 00:06:31,818
Now, it's got one
of those new ovens
159
00:06:31,853 --> 00:06:33,834
that's built
right into the wall.
160
00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:34,965
Have you seen them?
161
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,434
Yeah, at the World's Fair.
162
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:47,165
Finch, do me a favor
163
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,434
and give this
hundred to Jack.
164
00:06:48,469 --> 00:06:49,566
I borrowed it
from him.
165
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:50,901
He's probably forgotten
all about it.
166
00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:52,332
No problem.
Where are you going?
167
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:55,567
Home. I'm staying in tonight
and reading a book.
168
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,132
Ah, I don't want
to ruin the ending,
169
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,634
but, uh, Waldo's in
the upper left corner.
170
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,265
Go ahead, make fun,
171
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,098
but I'm going
to rejuvenate myself.
172
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,332
I bought a scented candle,
some bubble bath,
173
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:13,067
and I'm swinging by the shelter
to pick up a cat.
174
00:07:13,102 --> 00:07:14,365
Poor little tabby...
175
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,300
moments away
from a humane death.
176
00:07:21,801 --> 00:07:23,367
Here's the ad contracts
and the proofs
177
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,033
for the formalwear shoot.
178
00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:26,301
A- ha!
179
00:07:26,336 --> 00:07:27,499
What?
180
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:28,701
Don't play
the innocent.
181
00:07:28,736 --> 00:07:29,833
What about my 100 bucks?
182
00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:31,501
I was getting it
out of my pocket.
183
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:32,466
And how did you know-
184
00:07:32,501 --> 00:07:34,732
Getting it out
or stuffing it in?
185
00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:36,801
Because let me
tell you something, Dennis.
186
00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:38,667
The only thing
that money will buy
187
00:07:38,702 --> 00:07:41,067
is orchestra seats
in hell.
188
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,134
So this
was a test?
189
00:07:44,169 --> 00:07:45,601
You put Nina
up to it?
190
00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:47,501
What choice did I have?
191
00:07:47,536 --> 00:07:49,367
Not putting her up to it?
192
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:51,799
I'm sorry, Dennis,
193
00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:53,634
but I don't think
I can trust you anymore.
194
00:07:53,669 --> 00:07:54,766
Yes, you can.
195
00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:56,165
The Miata's gone.
Your space is empty.
196
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,000
If you don't believe me,
go down and check.
197
00:07:58,035 --> 00:07:59,267
That won't be necessary.
198
00:07:59,302 --> 00:08:00,232
Thank you.
199
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,084
Oh, wait
a minute!
200
00:08:02,119 --> 00:08:03,866
Where's my stapler?
201
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,234
Empty your pockets, mister.
202
00:08:06,269 --> 00:08:08,098
It's right there.
203
00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:09,667
Where?
Under your hand.
204
00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:13,200
Yeah, but is it full?
205
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,000
You can go.
206
00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:26,833
It was so nice to meet you.
207
00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:29,065
I'll be making my decision soon.
208
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,067
How soon? If it's only a day
or two, we can wait right here.
209
00:08:32,102 --> 00:08:33,701
Elliott, let's give
Mrs. Pierce
210
00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:34,732
a little
breathing room.
211
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:37,033
I have a good feeling
about you two.
212
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:37,901
Toodle-loo.
213
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,567
Good night.
I'm very quiet!
214
00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:45,934
Two hundred bucks a month,
can you believe it?
215
00:08:45,969 --> 00:08:47,499
God, it must be worth
10 times that.
216
00:08:47,534 --> 00:08:49,199
Oh, at least.
Ah, thanks for playing along.
217
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:51,834
I know I put you on the spot
like that. I just panicked.
218
00:08:51,869 --> 00:08:53,834
No, I just hope
I didn't blow it for you.
219
00:08:53,869 --> 00:08:55,167
Oh, no, you were great.
Great.
220
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,399
Okay, what if you get it?
221
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:57,634
Isn't she gonna think
it's weird
222
00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:58,799
that I'm never around?
223
00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:00,699
Well, I-
you're a reporter.
224
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,299
I'll tell her
you're always on the road.
225
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:05,234
Oh, do you think I overdid it
with that honeymoon story,
226
00:09:05,269 --> 00:09:06,834
because I was
making it up
227
00:09:06,869 --> 00:09:08,400
off the top
of my head-
228
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:15,067
Eyes forward, Chutney.
229
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,300
Sorry,
she was just-
230
00:09:18,335 --> 00:09:19,501
No, no,
that was close.
231
00:09:19,536 --> 00:09:20,667
I didn't know
what to do.
232
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,434
I think I'm gonna walk home.
I'll take a cab.
233
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,734
Yeah, good idea.
Taxi!
234
00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:44,667
Dennis, did you
tell everyone
235
00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:45,899
about
the staff meeting?
236
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:49,100
Well, now, maybe I did
and maybe I didn't.
237
00:09:49,135 --> 00:09:51,400
You know me, I'm shifty.
238
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,750
Good morning.
239
00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:01,033
Fine, thanks.
240
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,667
First order of business,
Maya, Elliott...
241
00:10:09,702 --> 00:10:10,667
How'd you guys make out?
242
00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,300
What?
Excuse me?
243
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:15,767
You know,
for the cover story?
244
00:10:15,802 --> 00:10:16,965
Oh, fine.
245
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,300
Just fine. Great.
Great.
246
00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:19,866
Great.
Fine.
247
00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:22,634
Okay, I get it. Moving on.
248
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:24,399
Um, Elle MacPherson
249
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:26,332
is shooting a movie
in Montréal.
250
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,400
Maya, I'd like you to fly up,
do a story.
251
00:10:28,435 --> 00:10:29,833
Great. I love Montréal.
252
00:10:29,868 --> 00:10:31,701
Elliott, I'd like you
to go along
253
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:32,868
and take the photographs.
254
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:34,000
Make a weekend out of it.
255
00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:35,551
No.
I can't.
256
00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:37,032
I hate Montréal.
257
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,532
You just said you loved it.
258
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,300
Oh, I thought you said
"Monty Hall."
259
00:10:46,801 --> 00:10:49,501
I can't go back to Canada.
They'll be waiting for me.
260
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:53,532
Who?
261
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,132
The Canadians.
262
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,267
I thought
I made that clear.
263
00:10:58,302 --> 00:10:59,933
Sorry I'm late.
264
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:01,399
The hovercraft blew an engine,
265
00:11:01,434 --> 00:11:04,601
and it was daylight before
the Coast Guard picked us up.
266
00:11:04,636 --> 00:11:06,768
The Coast Guard
picked you up?
267
00:11:06,803 --> 00:11:08,901
Hmm, I guess
it's backwards day.
268
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:13,434
I thought you were
gonna stay home last night.
269
00:11:13,469 --> 00:11:15,199
I did for a good part
of the evening,
270
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,117
but about 7:15, my friend
Binnie came over.
271
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:19,000
When I opened the door,
the cat ran out,
272
00:11:19,035 --> 00:11:20,566
and when we went
to look for it,
273
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:22,400
it wasn't at Tavern
on the Green, so we-
274
00:11:22,435 --> 00:11:24,534
What are you talking about?!
275
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,834
I've been trying to sell Nina
on the advantages
276
00:11:27,869 --> 00:11:29,434
of staying home
every once in a while.
277
00:11:29,469 --> 00:11:31,085
Well, I tried.
I really did...
278
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,701
but the walls
started closing in.
279
00:11:32,736 --> 00:11:34,399
So here's the new plan.
280
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:36,165
Tonight,
Binnie and I are going out,
281
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,534
but we are gonna spend
the entire evening
282
00:11:38,569 --> 00:11:40,400
avoiding alcohol and men.
283
00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:42,232
Oh, that's great.
284
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:43,334
Okay, I'll
start the pool.
285
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,666
10 bucks a square.
286
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:47,167
I say legally drunk
and dancing
287
00:11:47,202 --> 00:11:49,367
with Eurotrash
by 8:30.
288
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:52,367
7:15.
289
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:56,167
Moving on-
9:20.
290
00:11:57,701 --> 00:11:58,699
Will you
guys stop
291
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:00,334
and give Nina
a little credit?
292
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:01,534
10:45.
293
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,833
Hi.
Hi.
294
00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:09,701
I got another photographer
to do that Montréal thing,
295
00:12:09,736 --> 00:12:10,799
so you can go.
296
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:13,501
Oh, well, I already lined up
another writer,
297
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:14,933
so you can go.
298
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:18,701
Oh, well, I also sold my watch
to buy you a comb.
299
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:25,801
Oh, no, I just sold my hair
to buy you a watch chain.
300
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,965
I'll go first.
Please.
301
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,567
I don't think we should
feel uncomfortable
302
00:12:30,602 --> 00:12:31,566
about last night.
303
00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:32,800
Oh, God,
I would love that.
304
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,251
It was a freak
of nature.
305
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:35,632
It was an absolute fluke.
306
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,067
It was just because
we were doing
307
00:12:37,102 --> 00:12:38,499
that pretend marriage thing,
308
00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,868
and I don't think we're gonna be
doing that anymore.
309
00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:42,933
Me either...
310
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:44,033
after tonight.
311
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:45,199
What?
312
00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:46,699
Mrs. Pierce just called
313
00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:48,399
and tonight's
her weekly tenant party.
314
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,634
She wants us to drop by...
see if we fit in.
315
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,367
The tenants go
to a weekly party?
316
00:12:53,402 --> 00:12:54,799
For the rent she charges,
317
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,400
I'd give her
a weekly sponge bath.
318
00:12:58,501 --> 00:12:59,466
I know it's weird
319
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:00,666
with you kissing me
and everything,
320
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,901
but I just need you to do this
one last time.
321
00:13:02,936 --> 00:13:04,952
I don't know.
I kind of had plans.
322
00:13:04,987 --> 00:13:06,968
We'll just stay a half-hour,
tops.
323
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,199
All right, sure.
324
00:13:08,234 --> 00:13:10,051
Thanks.
Um, but for the record,
325
00:13:10,086 --> 00:13:12,360
I didn't kiss you.
You kissed me.
326
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,634
Right.
We need to be there at 7:00.
327
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,998
Okay.
328
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:18,234
And no big deal,
but when you say I kissed you,
329
00:13:18,269 --> 00:13:19,199
you mean the first kiss.
330
00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:20,901
The second time,
you kissed me.
331
00:13:20,936 --> 00:13:22,551
So I guess we're even.
332
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:24,132
No need to dress up.
333
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:26,801
Oh, we're not even.
I never kissed you.
334
00:13:26,836 --> 00:13:28,132
Maya, with all due respect,
335
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,601
I know a little something
about women,
336
00:13:29,636 --> 00:13:31,098
and I know
when I'm being kissed.
337
00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:33,801
And yet, you have no idea
when you're being tossed out.
338
00:13:33,836 --> 00:13:35,501
What?
We just got a divorce. Get out.
339
00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:36,834
No, but you
don't understand.
340
00:13:36,869 --> 00:13:38,133
She's refinishing
the floors.
341
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:39,466
Out!
342
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,434
Maya, for God's sake,
the den has crown moldings.
343
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,833
Maya Gallo.
344
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,067
With a butler's pantry, Maya.
345
00:13:48,102 --> 00:13:49,200
I'm begging you.
346
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:19,834
Uh-oh.
347
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:28,000
Oops, I seem to
have dropped my pencil.
348
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,534
I better bend over
and pick it up.
349
00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:45,934
Nina, please,
I'm begging you.
350
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,434
The party's
in 15 minutes.
351
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,866
Oh, don't be absurd.
352
00:14:48,901 --> 00:14:50,884
Your landlady is not going
to think I'm Maya.
353
00:14:50,919 --> 00:14:52,868
Sure, she will.
She's completely out of it.
354
00:14:52,903 --> 00:14:54,032
You come in,
355
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,667
you spout off all you know
about literature,
356
00:14:55,702 --> 00:14:57,599
museums, politics...
357
00:14:57,634 --> 00:14:59,799
or maybe you have laryngitis.
358
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:01,866
I'd like to help you,
but I can't.
359
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,501
In honor
of our no liquor, no men policy,
360
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,200
Binnie and I
are going to folk night
361
00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:06,334
at a lesbian coffee house.
362
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,701
For God's sakes, you
can do that tomorrow.
363
00:15:09,736 --> 00:15:11,218
Every night
is folk night
364
00:15:11,253 --> 00:15:12,701
at a lesbian
coffee house.
365
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,868
I'll get it, Mrs. Pierce.
366
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:28,017
Hi. Elliott DiMauro.
367
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,010
Adam Kessler, 5-B.
368
00:15:30,045 --> 00:15:31,933
Look, DiMauro.
369
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,299
You may have picked up
370
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,100
that this
is a very special building.
371
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,934
It's quiet, it's discreet-
372
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,499
It's 1962.
373
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:40,934
Look who's here!
374
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:43,299
Oh, Mr. DiMauro,
375
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:44,601
I'm so glad
you could come.
376
00:15:44,636 --> 00:15:45,818
Where's
Mrs. DiMauro?
377
00:15:45,853 --> 00:15:46,965
Oh, at the last minute,
378
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,032
she had to fly to California
on business.
379
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:51,367
Oh, darn it! I wanted her
to meet all the tenants.
380
00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:52,799
Oh, and she wanted
to meet them.
381
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:55,601
She was practically in tears
when the plane took off.
382
00:15:55,636 --> 00:15:57,035
Hi, honey.
Maya!
383
00:15:57,070 --> 00:15:58,399
Mrs. DiMauro-
384
00:15:58,434 --> 00:15:59,634
I thought you were
in California.
385
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:00,699
No.
386
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:02,334
Because that's where
I told her you were.
387
00:16:02,369 --> 00:16:05,165
Yes, but we couldn't
take off
388
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,968
because something was wrong
with the...
389
00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:08,168
Propeller?
390
00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:09,299
Yes!
Yes!
391
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:11,400
Let's get you
some punch.
392
00:16:11,435 --> 00:16:12,499
Such a treasure.
393
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:14,133
Oh, she's the only girl for me.
394
00:16:14,168 --> 00:16:15,499
Hi, honey.
Nina! What?
395
00:16:15,534 --> 00:16:17,901
What happened
to folk night?
396
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:18,965
Oh, please.
397
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,484
If I want to listen
to a bitter woman
398
00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:21,968
complain about
farm foreclosures,
399
00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:23,118
I'll call my mother.
400
00:16:23,153 --> 00:16:24,199
So I'm all yours.
401
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,067
No. No, you have
to get out right now-
402
00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:27,734
Oh, a new arrival.
403
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:28,751
Mrs. Pierce.
404
00:16:28,786 --> 00:16:29,760
Mrs. Pierce.
405
00:16:29,795 --> 00:16:30,699
Who are you?
406
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:33,065
Uh, Mrs. DiMauro.
407
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,033
But I- I thought
you were Mrs. DiMauro.
408
00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:37,300
She is...
this is my wife...
409
00:16:37,335 --> 00:16:38,467
and this is
my mother.
410
00:16:38,502 --> 00:16:40,833
What?!
411
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:43,601
I mean, we'd never move anywhere
without Mom's approval,
412
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,965
right, dear?
413
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
Oh, right. So, what do you
think, Mother DiMauro?
414
00:16:47,035 --> 00:16:47,868
Oh...
415
00:16:49,501 --> 00:16:51,732
You can probably guess
what I'm thinking.
416
00:16:51,767 --> 00:16:55,000
Well, that settles it.
The apartment is yours.
417
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,667
Any young man
who has so much respect
418
00:16:56,702 --> 00:16:57,732
for his mother
419
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,400
is the kind of tenant
I'm looking for.
420
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,732
Fabulous.
421
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,184
Well,
I guess I owe you one, Mom.
422
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:04,566
Oh, funny
you should mention it.
423
00:17:04,601 --> 00:17:06,701
I don't have a cent
for the cab ride home.
424
00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:07,666
Oh...
425
00:17:07,701 --> 00:17:09,767
Happy to do it.
426
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,667
It's a longer
ride than that.
427
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,399
No, no, no,
428
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,234
I'm going all the way
to the country house...
429
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:19,499
in Connecticut.
430
00:17:19,534 --> 00:17:21,601
Well, I thought
you and Dad sold that place
431
00:17:21,636 --> 00:17:22,632
years ago.
432
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,332
No, no, we decided
to keep it
433
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:26,717
so you'd always have
a place to go,
434
00:17:26,752 --> 00:17:29,067
in case you
lost your apartment.
435
00:17:29,102 --> 00:17:32,601
Fine, fine,
take my wallet.
436
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:34,265
Oh, Dr. Kessler...
437
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,400
uh, this is
Mr. DiMauro's wife
438
00:17:36,435 --> 00:17:37,634
and his mother.
439
00:17:37,669 --> 00:17:38,799
Call me Nina.
440
00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:41,000
So is there
a missus Dr. Kessler?
441
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:42,332
No.
442
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:44,032
Oh, no, he lives
with his father.
443
00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:46,601
You should meet him.
He's a wonderful dancer.
444
00:17:46,636 --> 00:17:49,000
Oh, sure... Dad?
445
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,667
Jack, I'm going home.
446
00:18:14,434 --> 00:18:17,501
Dennis,
come on back here!
447
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,200
Okay, maybe
I overreacted.
448
00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:26,899
Maybe?
449
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:30,234
Dennis, our relationship
is like a marriage.
450
00:18:30,269 --> 00:18:31,834
In fact,
it's more than a marriage,
451
00:18:31,869 --> 00:18:34,133
because it's based on trust.
452
00:18:35,467 --> 00:18:37,234
Look, I know
I shouldn't have rented out
453
00:18:37,269 --> 00:18:38,699
your parking spot,
454
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,517
but that was one
indiscretion
455
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,300
in eight years
of loyal service.
456
00:18:42,335 --> 00:18:43,365
I said I was sorry.
457
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,701
What more do you want from me?
458
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,965
All right,
you made your point.
459
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,434
Let's just forget
the whole thing ever happened.
460
00:18:51,469 --> 00:18:53,968
All right,
I will if you will.
461
00:18:54,003 --> 00:18:55,699
Done.
462
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,165
Let's get
out of here.
463
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,067
So, uh, what are you
doing this weekend?
464
00:19:00,102 --> 00:19:01,300
I don't know,
hit a movie.
465
00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:02,332
What about you?
466
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,717
Oh, I'm talking Allie
and Hannah
467
00:19:03,752 --> 00:19:05,709
to our beach house
in the Hamptons.
468
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,388
What? What are you
doing that for?
469
00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:09,033
You never go there
before July.
470
00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:14,901
I mean, hmm...
471
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:24,633
Oh, God,
I can't remember
472
00:19:24,668 --> 00:19:26,965
the last time
I limboed.
473
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,234
I can't remember
the last time
474
00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,818
someone
referred to it
475
00:19:29,853 --> 00:19:31,367
as that
"crazy new dance."
476
00:19:32,701 --> 00:19:34,801
The important thing is
you got the apartment.
477
00:19:34,836 --> 00:19:37,732
Oh, yeah,
thanks again.
478
00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:39,998
I'm glad you
changed your mind.
479
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:42,968
Well, I knew how much
it meant to you.
480
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:44,168
And listen, you know,
481
00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:45,435
if you're ever
in a bind
482
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:46,632
and you need me
to pretend
483
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,501
we're married again,
I'm happy to help.
484
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:49,685
Oh, Mrs. Pierce,
485
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:50,799
we didn't hear you.
486
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:52,499
Oh, it's these moccasins.
487
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:54,267
Dr. Kessler and his father
brought them back
488
00:19:54,302 --> 00:19:57,501
from an artist's colony
in Sedona.
489
00:19:57,536 --> 00:19:58,501
Did you hear us talking?
490
00:19:58,536 --> 00:19:59,501
Every word.
491
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,234
Well, then, I- I guess
I owe you an explanation.
492
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:05,599
It's pretty complicated.
493
00:20:05,634 --> 00:20:08,968
Well, you wanted the apartment,
so you pretended to be married.
494
00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,201
Okay, it's pretty simple.
495
00:20:11,236 --> 00:20:13,365
Well, to tell you the truth,
496
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,734
we all do a good deal
of pretending around here.
497
00:20:15,769 --> 00:20:17,568
You do?
498
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:19,332
Oh, sure.
499
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:22,834
The tenants play their games,
and I play mine.
500
00:20:22,869 --> 00:20:24,799
So you know-
501
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:27,434
That I could get a lot more
for my apartments?
502
00:20:27,469 --> 00:20:28,866
Of course.
503
00:20:28,901 --> 00:20:31,217
But I don't need the money.
504
00:20:31,252 --> 00:20:33,376
I need kindred spirits.
505
00:20:33,411 --> 00:20:35,501
I need party guests.
506
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:37,933
Do you need me?
507
00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:40,501
Yes, Mr. DiMauro,
I think I do.
508
00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:42,998
Although, I look forward
509
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,934
to both of you moving in
someday.
510
00:20:44,969 --> 00:20:46,165
Oh, no, see,
511
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,866
Elliott and I
are not a couple.
512
00:20:47,901 --> 00:20:49,534
Yeah, we're not
romantically involved-
513
00:20:49,569 --> 00:20:50,699
At all.
514
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:53,934
Well, maybe not yet...
515
00:20:53,969 --> 00:20:55,165
but you will be.
516
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,434
Come along,
Chutney.
517
00:21:01,934 --> 00:21:03,365
What was
that about?
518
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,701
Oh, nothing.
She's out of her mind.
519
00:21:05,736 --> 00:21:07,501
She's crazy
as a loon.
520
00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:16,067
Think I'm gonna walk home.
I'll take a cab.
521
00:21:16,102 --> 00:21:17,701
Yeah, good idea.
Taxi!
522
00:21:33,701 --> 00:21:38,267
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪
523
00:21:38,302 --> 00:21:41,965
♪ Keeps bringing me home ♪
524
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:46,850
♪ It don't matter what
I'm gonna do ♪
525
00:21:46,885 --> 00:21:51,726
♪ 'Cause
It's got a mind of its own ♪
526
00:21:51,761 --> 00:21:56,567
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪♪
527
00:21:56,617 --> 00:22:01,167
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