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1
00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:06,517
Yup.
2
00:00:06,517 --> 00:00:07,550
Yes.
3
00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:10,118
Yup.
4
00:00:10,118 --> 00:00:12,018
Definitely.
5
00:00:12,018 --> 00:00:13,884
Yup.
6
00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:16,350
That is
affirmative.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,617
Finch,
the copier's broken again.
8
00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:20,183
Maybe that black cloud
over your head
9
00:00:20,183 --> 00:00:21,250
shorted it out.
10
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,018
Yes!
11
00:00:23,018 --> 00:00:24,084
Yup.
12
00:00:24,084 --> 00:00:25,617
What are you guys
doing?
13
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:26,851
We're deciding
which of these women
14
00:00:26,851 --> 00:00:28,584
we'd like
to sleep with.
15
00:00:28,584 --> 00:00:29,884
Really?
16
00:00:29,884 --> 00:00:31,183
I thought we were saying
17
00:00:31,183 --> 00:00:32,717
which women
we'd already slept with.
18
00:00:37,051 --> 00:00:38,550
I don't want
to play anymore.
19
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:44,018
[o/~]
20
00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:02,118
Hey. Look what I just got.
21
00:01:02,118 --> 00:01:03,884
MAYA: Oh, no,
not another gadget.
22
00:01:03,884 --> 00:01:05,450
It's a laser pointer.
23
00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:07,317
Now if I need
to indicate something,
24
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,717
I just point at it like this.
25
00:01:10,717 --> 00:01:13,784
Wow! It's just like a finger,
only $200 more.
26
00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:15,118
Yeah.
27
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:18,283
Hello, all. Guess what today is.
28
00:01:18,283 --> 00:01:19,550
Uh...
29
00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,018
wear-your-underwear
on-the-outside day.
30
00:01:23,018 --> 00:01:25,684
Oh, look who had cereal
with sugar.
31
00:01:25,684 --> 00:01:27,484
Today is my birthday.
32
00:01:27,484 --> 00:01:29,317
Oh, well, oh. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
33
00:01:29,317 --> 00:01:30,984
Thank you, thank you,
and before I forget,
34
00:01:30,984 --> 00:01:32,350
I have to leave early tonight.
35
00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:34,150
Marvin's taking me
out to the theater
36
00:01:34,150 --> 00:01:35,784
and then dancing
at the Rainbow Room.
37
00:01:35,784 --> 00:01:37,584
Wow. Marvin's still around?
38
00:01:37,584 --> 00:01:39,684
Yeah. We've been together
almost six months.
39
00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:40,984
No, I mean,
he's still breathing?
40
00:01:40,984 --> 00:01:42,283
How old is that guy?
41
00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:44,651
300 million.
42
00:01:44,651 --> 00:01:46,550
Oh, sorry, that's his net worth.
43
00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:48,751
I always get them confused.
44
00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:51,550
Hey, look, if you want to go out
with a man in his 60s--
45
00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:52,984
Watch it.
46
00:01:52,984 --> 00:01:55,118
Then there's no sexier man
than this guy right here.
47
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,684
Sorry, ladies. He's taken.
48
00:01:58,684 --> 00:02:00,951
All right, people,
let's get started.
49
00:02:00,951 --> 00:02:02,283
Who's got story ideas...
50
00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:06,317
besides "Topless Women
of the Riviera"?
51
00:02:06,317 --> 00:02:07,617
I've got some.
52
00:02:07,617 --> 00:02:10,118
Okay, the young lady
53
00:02:10,118 --> 00:02:11,684
with the red dot
on her blouse.
54
00:02:11,684 --> 00:02:13,317
What about how men in power
55
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,951
have used fashion
to subjugate women?
56
00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:16,118
Do you know
57
00:02:16,118 --> 00:02:18,118
that Louis XIV invented
the high-heel shoe
58
00:02:18,118 --> 00:02:20,784
so that...
59
00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:22,450
What are you doing?
60
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:23,584
I'm miming our readers
61
00:02:23,584 --> 00:02:25,684
hanging themselves
out of boredom.
62
00:02:25,684 --> 00:02:28,217
You know, let's ask someone
63
00:02:28,217 --> 00:02:30,250
who has more than
a five-second attention span.
64
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,317
Elliott, what did you think?
65
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,450
Huh?
66
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:38,584
Maya, I think what the gang
is trying to say
67
00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:40,183
is that if you were
a musical instrument,
68
00:02:40,183 --> 00:02:41,751
you'd be the snooze-o-lin.
69
00:02:41,751 --> 00:02:43,350
Yeah!
70
00:02:44,651 --> 00:02:47,817
Any takers? Guess not.
71
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:50,384
Okay. What else you got?
72
00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:52,651
Okay, here. This is great.
73
00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:54,150
To commemorate
the 40th anniversary
74
00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:56,317
of Jack Kerouac's publication
of On the Road,
75
00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:57,751
I thought we could
trace the impact
76
00:02:57,751 --> 00:02:59,651
of the beat movement
on modern fashions...
77
00:02:59,651 --> 00:03:01,018
What?
78
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,084
Oh, now I'm so bored,
79
00:03:02,084 --> 00:03:04,417
I'm electrocuting
myself.
80
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:08,817
Flowers for Nina Van Horn.
81
00:03:08,817 --> 00:03:11,283
Oh, that's me.
Thank you.
82
00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:12,550
Oh, I'll bet
they're from Marvin.
83
00:03:15,651 --> 00:03:16,651
Oh, no.
84
00:03:16,651 --> 00:03:18,250
He has to close a deal
in London
85
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,283
and he won't be home
until eleven.
86
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,417
This is terrible.
87
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,018
What am I going to do
until then?
88
00:03:23,018 --> 00:03:24,417
Well, you could hop
on your broomstick
89
00:03:24,417 --> 00:03:26,851
and meet him halfway.
90
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:29,283
Wow.
91
00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:30,484
Kind of chilly.
92
00:03:30,484 --> 00:03:32,584
What? That was funny.
93
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:33,851
She started it.
94
00:03:33,851 --> 00:03:36,317
Okay, then. Meeting's over.
95
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,617
Uh, Maya,
can I see you in my office?
96
00:03:38,617 --> 00:03:41,084
Ooh...
97
00:03:43,817 --> 00:03:46,684
Maya...
98
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,384
this thing
between you and Nina,
99
00:03:48,384 --> 00:03:49,517
it's got to stop.
100
00:03:49,517 --> 00:03:51,118
Hey,
she is the one attacking me,
101
00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:52,717
and it's been like this
since day one.
102
00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:54,118
That's Nina.
I expect more from you.
103
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,317
Yeah, but did you see how--
104
00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:57,417
Let me tell you
a little story.
105
00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:58,617
When I was
at the Times,
106
00:03:58,617 --> 00:03:59,717
there was this jerk
107
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,851
who hated me
for no reason at all.
108
00:04:01,851 --> 00:04:03,183
No, wait.
109
00:04:03,183 --> 00:04:04,917
I may have slept
with his girlfriend.
110
00:04:06,450 --> 00:04:07,851
Anyway,
111
00:04:07,851 --> 00:04:10,051
he used to take potshots at me
at the editorial meetings.
112
00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:11,051
Did I fire back?
113
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,484
No, you charmed him
onto your side.
114
00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:13,784
Right,
115
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:16,784
and soon he became
my biggest supporter.
116
00:04:16,784 --> 00:04:18,018
He even lent me
five grand
117
00:04:18,018 --> 00:04:19,884
to start
this magazine.
118
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,817
And the very day
I was supposed to pay him back,
119
00:04:22,817 --> 00:04:24,283
you know what happened?
120
00:04:24,283 --> 00:04:26,584
He dropped dead.
121
00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:28,584
Pure profit, Maya.
122
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,717
That's a beautiful story.
123
00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:33,817
My point is,
124
00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:34,851
you need to be
diplomatic.
125
00:04:34,851 --> 00:04:36,517
You have a tendency
to lash out
126
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:37,717
at the slightest
hint of criticism.
127
00:04:37,717 --> 00:04:38,817
Ha!
128
00:04:38,817 --> 00:04:40,018
Oh, you are so full of--
129
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,084
wisdom.
130
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,250
Go on.
131
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:48,018
Maya, you're
so talented,
132
00:04:48,018 --> 00:04:49,317
and yet you've
been fired
133
00:04:49,317 --> 00:04:51,450
from every job
you've ever had.
134
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,550
Why? Your temper.
135
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,784
Well, I guess
I have a lot of anger.
136
00:04:55,784 --> 00:04:57,250
Maybe it's from my childhood.
137
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,484
Don't blame me.
138
00:04:58,484 --> 00:04:59,651
Your mother raised you.
139
00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:01,951
Look,
140
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,517
just be nice
to Nina.
141
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,784
Win her over.
142
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:06,884
Use some of that
old Gallo charm.
143
00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:10,584
Okay. Fine.
144
00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:11,784
Great.
145
00:05:11,784 --> 00:05:12,884
You can start
146
00:05:12,884 --> 00:05:14,118
by throwing her
a birthday party.
147
00:05:14,118 --> 00:05:15,150
Oh. Big step.
148
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:17,183
Can't I just start
by throwing her
149
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,651
from a train, out of a building,
150
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,018
something of that sort?
151
00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:21,617
Maya, this is important.
152
00:05:21,617 --> 00:05:23,084
You have
all the editorial skills
153
00:05:23,084 --> 00:05:24,951
to run this magazine.
154
00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:27,951
You just need the people skills.
155
00:05:27,951 --> 00:05:31,084
Okay, okay.
156
00:05:31,084 --> 00:05:33,118
I'll throw her a party.
157
00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:34,350
I'll even
be charming.
158
00:05:36,984 --> 00:05:38,784
Attagirl.
159
00:05:38,784 --> 00:05:39,984
People skills.
160
00:05:39,984 --> 00:05:42,051
That's what
it's all about.
161
00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:44,884
Ha! Look at that
hot dog vendor.
162
00:05:44,884 --> 00:05:46,617
He keeps swatting
at nothing.
163
00:05:46,617 --> 00:05:48,217
[BOTH LAUGHING]
164
00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:56,517
[STAMPING]
165
00:05:58,517 --> 00:06:01,283
Yup.
166
00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,283
All right, I get it.
167
00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:06,484
Look, we all know
168
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:07,684
the only reason
you get girls
169
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:09,183
is because you're
a big photographer.
170
00:06:09,183 --> 00:06:10,384
Oh, yeah,
171
00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:13,018
if that helps you
sleep at night.
172
00:06:13,018 --> 00:06:14,084
Then what is it?
173
00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:15,150
Your uncanny
resemblance
174
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,517
to an aging
Charlie Brown?
175
00:06:17,517 --> 00:06:19,450
Believe me,
176
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,051
I don't need this job
to get women.
177
00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:22,350
Would you care
to make
178
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,450
a little wager
on that, Chuck?
179
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,751
Oh. You don't
want to go there.
180
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:27,984
Here's the deal.
181
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:29,384
I pick a new career
for you,
182
00:06:29,384 --> 00:06:30,684
I pick the woman.
183
00:06:30,684 --> 00:06:32,051
I got 1,000 bucks
184
00:06:32,051 --> 00:06:33,917
that says you end up
solo pilot
185
00:06:33,917 --> 00:06:37,283
on a one-way flight
to Spankytown.
186
00:06:38,684 --> 00:06:40,651
You're on.
187
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,550
You know,
I'm gonna love this.
188
00:06:42,550 --> 00:06:44,484
I get a date
and all your money.
189
00:06:44,484 --> 00:06:45,884
Everybody wins.
190
00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:47,450
I mean, except you.
191
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:52,283
Hi, Nina.
192
00:06:52,283 --> 00:06:53,684
Oh, you caught me.
193
00:06:53,684 --> 00:06:55,084
I was just about
to indulge myself
194
00:06:55,084 --> 00:06:56,183
with a little
ice cream
195
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,951
on my birthday.
196
00:06:59,751 --> 00:07:03,384
Oh. So good.
197
00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:06,217
Next year,
chocolate.
198
00:07:08,817 --> 00:07:10,550
Listen, if it's
okay with you,
199
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:11,550
I would really love
200
00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:12,751
to throw you
a birthday party.
201
00:07:12,751 --> 00:07:14,217
Really?
202
00:07:14,217 --> 00:07:17,118
Well, that might kill some time
until Marvin's jet arrives.
203
00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:19,450
Um, I was thinking
Hanrahan's might be fun.
204
00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:20,617
Oh, uh-huh.
205
00:07:20,617 --> 00:07:24,283
Kind of like the way
pinkeye might be fun.
206
00:07:24,283 --> 00:07:27,118
Or we could go to the Boxcar.
207
00:07:27,118 --> 00:07:29,617
Oh, that place
that all the hobos live in?
208
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,684
Or I could give it
a little more thought.
209
00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:34,784
Or any thought.
210
00:07:34,784 --> 00:07:36,084
Okay, well,
211
00:07:36,084 --> 00:07:37,118
I'll see you
tonight, then.
212
00:07:37,118 --> 00:07:38,851
Oh, you're going to be there?
213
00:07:38,851 --> 00:07:40,651
I thought you had
a pottery class tonight.
214
00:07:40,651 --> 00:07:42,118
Uh, I don't take pottery.
215
00:07:42,118 --> 00:07:43,384
Really? Huh.
216
00:07:43,384 --> 00:07:45,817
I just assumed from your nails.
217
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:52,851
NINA: Hi.
218
00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:54,517
Hi.
219
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:58,018
Oh, welcome,
my dear, dear friends.
220
00:07:58,018 --> 00:07:59,617
Though your names elude me,
221
00:07:59,617 --> 00:08:01,517
your presence
is no less important.
222
00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:10,118
Aha. Good.
You're here.
223
00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,517
Well, I hope
you got your money,
224
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:13,183
because I got
the honey.
225
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:17,684
Are you sure you can
afford to lose
226
00:08:17,684 --> 00:08:19,018
this kind of cash?
227
00:08:19,018 --> 00:08:20,084
Because 1000 bucks
228
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,684
could get you a lot
of horsey rides
229
00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:23,951
outside
the drug store.
230
00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:25,084
That's tough talk,
231
00:08:25,084 --> 00:08:26,951
coming from a guy
in your position.
232
00:08:26,951 --> 00:08:28,717
Oh, yeah?
What do you mean?
233
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,751
I mean, for the rest
of the night,
234
00:08:30,751 --> 00:08:31,784
you, my friend,
235
00:08:31,784 --> 00:08:34,851
are the shampoo boy
at Supercuts.
236
00:08:34,851 --> 00:08:37,384
"Shampoo boys
do it once,
237
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,484
then repeat."
238
00:08:40,484 --> 00:08:41,517
Ouch.
239
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:44,984
You're going down.
240
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:47,984
Aah!
241
00:08:47,984 --> 00:08:49,450
Ooh.
242
00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:55,517
[RINGING]
243
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:56,550
Hello?
244
00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:58,150
Hey, Wally. You beeped.
245
00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:00,450
Yeah. Stacy called
and canceled our date.
246
00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:02,517
She said she wants
to see another guy.
247
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:04,917
Oh, I'm sorry. Who?
248
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,784
Oh, she hasn't decided yet.
249
00:09:06,784 --> 00:09:08,183
Listen,
I'm just gonna have one drink
250
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:09,584
and get the hell out of here.
251
00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:12,217
Do you want to go out later,
have some beers, play some pool?
252
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:13,684
Yeah, yeah. Sounds great.
253
00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:14,984
Where are you?
254
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:16,217
El Mariachi.
255
00:09:16,217 --> 00:09:18,217
My father made me
throw Nina Van Horn a party.
256
00:09:18,217 --> 00:09:21,584
Nina Van Horn? The supermodel?
257
00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:24,051
That's the Nina
you've been bitching about?
258
00:09:24,051 --> 00:09:25,051
Oh, God.
259
00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:26,550
In junior high,
260
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:29,051
I stared at her swimsuit poster
every night.
261
00:09:29,051 --> 00:09:31,417
Sometimes twice a night.
262
00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:38,550
Hi.
263
00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:39,851
Hi.
264
00:09:39,851 --> 00:09:42,217
Can I buy you
a drink?
265
00:09:42,217 --> 00:09:43,584
I already have one.
266
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,751
Can I have a sip?
267
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:49,951
Maybe
after I've gone.
268
00:09:49,951 --> 00:09:51,183
If you don't
mind me saying,
269
00:09:51,183 --> 00:09:53,884
I think you have
beautiful hair...
270
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,183
Thanks.
271
00:09:55,183 --> 00:09:56,951
and believe me,
in my line of work,
272
00:09:56,951 --> 00:10:00,018
I see a lot
of beautiful women.
273
00:10:00,018 --> 00:10:02,584
Hey, Mac.
I couldn't help but overhear.
274
00:10:02,584 --> 00:10:04,584
I'd love to work
with a lot of beautiful women.
275
00:10:04,584 --> 00:10:07,217
What do you do, sir,
and where do you do it?
276
00:10:09,784 --> 00:10:11,951
I'm the shampoo boy
at Supercuts.
277
00:10:11,951 --> 00:10:13,484
Ooh.
278
00:10:13,484 --> 00:10:15,717
No way!
279
00:10:15,717 --> 00:10:16,784
This is so weird!
280
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:17,917
I'm a hair sweeper
281
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,317
at Clipper
Doodle-Doo's!
282
00:10:21,317 --> 00:10:25,018
No way.
No way.
283
00:10:25,018 --> 00:10:27,183
Hey, there's this
little party here,
284
00:10:27,183 --> 00:10:28,350
and I'm...
you know,
285
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:29,617
why don't you join us?
286
00:10:29,617 --> 00:10:31,617
And then afterwards,
I would just...
287
00:10:31,617 --> 00:10:32,751
I would just...
288
00:10:32,751 --> 00:10:34,817
love to wash
your hair.
289
00:10:34,817 --> 00:10:38,684
Okay, but one
condition...
290
00:10:38,684 --> 00:10:41,517
Get it?
291
00:10:44,784 --> 00:10:45,917
Oh! We'll
get that later.
292
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:46,984
Will you pick
that up, sir?
293
00:10:49,484 --> 00:10:52,217
Ah, the birthday girl.
294
00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:54,617
Oh, Jack.
295
00:10:54,617 --> 00:10:56,150
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
296
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:58,817
Anyway, let's celebrate.
297
00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:00,450
Oh, Nina,
298
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,283
you sit over here
299
00:11:02,283 --> 00:11:03,684
by Maya.
300
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,884
Okay. Everyone have a glass?
301
00:11:09,884 --> 00:11:11,384
I want to make a toast.
302
00:11:11,384 --> 00:11:13,018
Excuse me, everybody,
303
00:11:13,018 --> 00:11:14,817
the man said
he'd like to make a toast,
304
00:11:14,817 --> 00:11:16,917
so shut your little pieholes
and listen up.
305
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:19,018
Go ahead, Jack.
306
00:11:19,018 --> 00:11:20,984
Thank you.
307
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,283
Uh, first of all,
308
00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:24,884
I'd like to wish Nina
a happy birthday.
309
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,550
Nina, over the years,
310
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:27,684
I've come to love you
311
00:11:27,684 --> 00:11:29,651
like a wife
who never divorced me.
312
00:11:29,651 --> 00:11:31,051
[FINCH LAUGHS]
313
00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:33,018
Yeah, a good one.
314
00:11:34,984 --> 00:11:37,984
I'd also like to say
to all of you
315
00:11:37,984 --> 00:11:40,984
how much I cherish
occasions like these
316
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:42,550
where I get
to celebrate
317
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:44,484
your personal
milestones
318
00:11:44,484 --> 00:11:47,084
and spend some time
with my second family.
319
00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:51,717
I wouldn't trade these moments
for the world.
320
00:11:51,717 --> 00:11:53,851
Oh, Jack...
321
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,651
Okay. Got to go.
322
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:01,951
Okay.
See you later.
323
00:12:01,951 --> 00:12:03,283
FINCH:
See you, Nina.
324
00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:06,018
KIRSTEN:
Nice meeting you. You too.
325
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,617
Well...
326
00:12:11,617 --> 00:12:14,717
looks like it's
just us prairie dogs.
327
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:15,751
Woof!
328
00:12:25,317 --> 00:12:27,051
[MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING]
329
00:12:27,051 --> 00:12:32,617
o/~ Now wa-a-a-a-ait a minute
330
00:12:35,051 --> 00:12:36,984
o/~ You know
You've been so good to me
331
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,317
o/~ I said
You've been so good to me
332
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:50,283
o/~ You know you make me wanna
333
00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:51,751
What are you doing?
334
00:12:51,751 --> 00:12:52,951
That's your cue.
335
00:12:52,951 --> 00:12:55,884
o/~ You know you make me wanna
336
00:12:55,884 --> 00:12:57,417
Not gonna happen.
337
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,384
Oh, Maya,
it's my birthday.
338
00:12:59,384 --> 00:13:02,051
Now, come on up here
and help me sing.
339
00:13:02,051 --> 00:13:05,350
As I mentioned
during "Ebony and Ivory,"
340
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,484
I'd really rather not.
341
00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:07,884
Oh, come on.
342
00:13:07,884 --> 00:13:08,884
If you sing with me,
343
00:13:08,884 --> 00:13:10,617
then tomorrow I'll say yes
344
00:13:10,617 --> 00:13:13,283
to all your silly,
little story ideas.
345
00:13:13,283 --> 00:13:14,651
Hit it.
346
00:13:14,651 --> 00:13:17,051
o/~ You know you make me want to
Shout
347
00:13:17,051 --> 00:13:19,051
o/~ Throw your hands up and
Shout
348
00:13:19,051 --> 00:13:21,051
o/~ Kick your legs out and
Shout
349
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,051
o/~ A little bit softer now
Shout
350
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:24,450
o/~ A little bit softer now
351
00:13:24,450 --> 00:13:26,450
o/~ Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey...
352
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:27,951
Hey, hey, where
are you going?
353
00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:30,550
God, who do you have to kill
to get a drink around here?
354
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:32,751
I have an idea.
355
00:13:34,884 --> 00:13:35,884
Oh.
356
00:13:41,684 --> 00:13:43,784
[RINGS]
357
00:13:43,784 --> 00:13:47,384
Hello,
and welcome to WallyPhone.
358
00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:49,784
If you're Maya
and you have a good excuse
359
00:13:49,784 --> 00:13:50,784
for blowing me off,
360
00:13:50,784 --> 00:13:51,817
press 1.
361
00:13:51,817 --> 00:13:54,884
If you have no excuse at all,
press 2.
362
00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:56,617
Wally, I'm sorry.
363
00:13:56,617 --> 00:13:59,884
For a list of excuses
available in your area,
364
00:13:59,884 --> 00:14:01,183
press 3.
365
00:14:01,183 --> 00:14:03,584
Wally, please forgive me.
366
00:14:03,584 --> 00:14:06,617
You have selected
"begging for mercy."
367
00:14:06,617 --> 00:14:08,350
Wally, please don't hate me.
368
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,851
I have just had
the worst night of my life.
369
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,384
I tried to be nice to Nina,
370
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,784
but it is impossible
to like her.
371
00:14:13,784 --> 00:14:15,118
There is nothing
to like.
372
00:14:15,118 --> 00:14:16,984
Hmm. You're still here.
373
00:14:16,984 --> 00:14:18,617
Marvin
just beeped me.
374
00:14:18,617 --> 00:14:19,751
Yay.
375
00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:21,051
I swear.
376
00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:22,851
I swear I will
make this up to you.
377
00:14:22,851 --> 00:14:24,051
Oh, don't
worry about it.
378
00:14:24,051 --> 00:14:26,018
You're the second girl
to dump me today,
379
00:14:26,018 --> 00:14:28,150
but the record
still stands at four.
380
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,484
I'm going to sleep.
381
00:14:29,484 --> 00:14:30,550
Don't go to sleep.
382
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,751
I promised
I'd cheer you up,
383
00:14:31,751 --> 00:14:32,751
and I will.
384
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,984
Hi, Marvin.
It's me.
385
00:14:34,984 --> 00:14:36,283
Oh, I am not
386
00:14:36,283 --> 00:14:38,717
the most beautiful woman
in the world.
387
00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:41,051
Oh, yeah.
388
00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:42,118
I know, honey,
389
00:14:42,118 --> 00:14:43,717
and I can't wait to see you,
either.
390
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,217
Mm-hmm. Until then. Bye-bye.
391
00:14:46,217 --> 00:14:48,051
Wally, got to go.
392
00:14:48,051 --> 00:14:50,951
Uh, is everything
okay with Marvin?
393
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:53,317
Shame on you for eavesdropping,
394
00:14:53,317 --> 00:14:55,984
but, yes,
everything is wonderful.
395
00:14:55,984 --> 00:14:58,283
Are you sure there's nothing
you want to talk about?
396
00:14:58,283 --> 00:14:59,617
Why? Why...
397
00:14:59,617 --> 00:15:01,917
Why would there be
anything to talk about?
398
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:04,417
Because that phone's
out of order.
399
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:05,417
Um...
400
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:06,784
no, it isn't.
401
00:15:06,784 --> 00:15:08,951
Look.
402
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,617
I used that phone.
You used this phone.
403
00:15:11,617 --> 00:15:15,084
Whoa, no more tequila for you.
404
00:15:15,084 --> 00:15:17,484
Nina, what's going on?
405
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:21,417
If you must know,
406
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:24,283
Marvin and I broke up
two weeks ago.
407
00:15:24,283 --> 00:15:25,283
Happy?
408
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:28,550
Oh...
409
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:30,150
I'm sorry.
410
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,317
Actually,
411
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:33,484
he traded me in
for a newer model.
412
00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:34,984
Literally.
413
00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:36,684
She's 22.
414
00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:37,684
You know, so what?
415
00:15:37,684 --> 00:15:39,517
Nina, you're still young.
416
00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:41,717
Oh, yeah. Maybe for a senator.
417
00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:45,817
A model's over the hill at 28,
418
00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,684
so what does that make me?
419
00:15:47,684 --> 00:15:48,884
A legend?
420
00:15:48,884 --> 00:15:51,250
No. No.
421
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,283
Invisible.
422
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,084
20 years ago,
423
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,517
I couldn't walk
into a restaurant
424
00:15:57,517 --> 00:16:01,250
without every man in the room
wanting me,
425
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,484
but now...
426
00:16:02,484 --> 00:16:04,084
the only way
I can get a reaction
427
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:08,183
is by dressing
like an extra from Shogun.
428
00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:10,784
Nina, I think I know
what you're going through--
429
00:16:10,784 --> 00:16:11,851
No, no.
430
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,550
No, no, you don't.
431
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:17,784
You have no idea
how lucky you are.
432
00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:20,884
God, you're so full
of passion and ideas.
433
00:16:20,884 --> 00:16:24,417
Your best days are
still ahead of you.
434
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:27,651
You want to see my best days,
435
00:16:27,651 --> 00:16:30,917
go dig up a 20-year-old Cosmo.
436
00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:32,851
Listen,
you've been, uh...
437
00:16:32,851 --> 00:16:36,484
you've been really,
really nice tonight,
438
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:39,584
and you don't have
to stick around anymore.
439
00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:42,118
You know,
440
00:16:42,118 --> 00:16:43,784
I was just gonna go
rent an old movie.
441
00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:47,717
Uh, not old. New. New.
A new movie.
442
00:16:47,717 --> 00:16:49,684
You want to come with me?
443
00:16:49,684 --> 00:16:51,384
Sure. I'd...
444
00:16:51,384 --> 00:16:54,250
I'd really like
to watch a movie with you.
445
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,884
Wait, um...
446
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,417
now that
we're friends,
447
00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:01,651
just let me go in
and erase your name
448
00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:03,717
from the men's
room wall.
449
00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:08,984
Whoa, back up.
450
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,851
You lived with
Andy Warhol?
451
00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:12,084
Well...
452
00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:13,350
Not exactly
with him.
453
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:14,450
I spent three days
454
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,884
chained
to his radiator.
455
00:17:16,884 --> 00:17:18,784
Performance art,
my foot.
456
00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:20,217
Anyway,
457
00:17:20,217 --> 00:17:23,584
let's talk about you
for a change.
458
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:28,250
I want you to tell me something
you've never told anyone before.
459
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:30,417
Your deepest secret.
460
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,784
Well,
461
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,984
ever since I was 3,
I wanted to be a Rockette,
462
00:17:34,984 --> 00:17:36,884
but I was never tall enough,
463
00:17:36,884 --> 00:17:38,150
so I used to--
464
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:39,984
and this is funny--
465
00:17:39,984 --> 00:17:42,717
I used to try and stretch myself
466
00:17:42,717 --> 00:17:45,884
and attach encyclopedias
to my feet and then...
467
00:17:45,884 --> 00:17:48,150
and hang
from this curtain rod...
468
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,484
[SNORING]
469
00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:14,183
Maya...
470
00:18:14,183 --> 00:18:15,183
Maya, Maya.
471
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:16,984
Um, Wally,
I know. I know.
472
00:18:16,984 --> 00:18:19,517
Thank you so much
for last night.
473
00:18:19,517 --> 00:18:20,817
Okay, I get it.
I'm sorry.
474
00:18:20,817 --> 00:18:22,150
I'm a terrible person.
475
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,417
Are you kidding?
476
00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:25,018
That was
the nicest thing
477
00:18:25,018 --> 00:18:26,984
anybody has ever
done for me.
478
00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:28,651
What are you
talking about?
479
00:18:28,651 --> 00:18:29,951
God, I'm so hungry
480
00:18:29,951 --> 00:18:32,917
I could eat an
entire sandwich.
481
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:35,183
Hi, Maya.
482
00:18:35,183 --> 00:18:37,617
Nina!
483
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,417
Did you and she...
484
00:18:40,417 --> 00:18:46,051
Yeah, and it's so much better
when she's there in person.
485
00:18:46,051 --> 00:18:49,484
You owe me
1000 bucks.
486
00:18:49,484 --> 00:18:50,884
Because you picked up
a hair sweeper
487
00:18:50,884 --> 00:18:52,018
on a complete fluke?
488
00:18:52,018 --> 00:18:53,018
Forget it.
489
00:18:53,018 --> 00:18:55,684
Hey, you chose her. Now, pay up.
490
00:18:55,684 --> 00:18:58,751
Listen...
491
00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:00,884
this isn't easy for me to say.
492
00:19:00,884 --> 00:19:03,051
I like to keep
my personal life private,
493
00:19:03,051 --> 00:19:05,784
but, uh... I can't pay you.
494
00:19:05,784 --> 00:19:06,951
I'm broke
495
00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:08,617
because I have to care
for an aging parent.
496
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,550
No, you don't.
497
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,317
Okay, I live
in a really cool apartment.
498
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:18,417
Look, since
you're a friend,
499
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,084
I think we can
work something out.
500
00:19:20,084 --> 00:19:21,283
That is,
501
00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:23,283
if you're willing
to humiliate yourself.
502
00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:24,651
I work here, don't I?
503
00:19:24,651 --> 00:19:26,317
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
504
00:19:26,317 --> 00:19:27,517
What...
505
00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:28,884
Wait a second,
506
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:30,217
how about double or nothing?
507
00:19:30,217 --> 00:19:32,084
Any time, any place.
508
00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:33,084
Right now.
509
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,884
That tall, cool drink of water
510
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,051
that just walked in.
511
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,051
Okay.
512
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,517
What's
my occupation?
513
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,550
You are...
514
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:43,651
the President
of the United States.
515
00:19:43,651 --> 00:19:44,851
Come on,
516
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,283
that's just gonna
make me sound crazy.
517
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,283
Gee. You think?
518
00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:50,317
Hi, excuse me.
519
00:19:50,317 --> 00:19:51,751
I was standing over there,
520
00:19:51,751 --> 00:19:53,751
and I couldn't help but notice
how beautiful you are.
521
00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:54,884
Tell her
what you do.
522
00:19:54,884 --> 00:19:57,751
Tell her what
you do.
523
00:19:57,751 --> 00:20:00,751
I'm the President
of the United States.
524
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:03,651
Anglais,
little speak.
525
00:20:03,651 --> 00:20:05,384
No...
526
00:20:05,384 --> 00:20:06,951
Café?
527
00:20:06,951 --> 00:20:09,651
Oh, café. Oui.
528
00:20:09,651 --> 00:20:11,084
Heh heh heh heh.
529
00:20:21,617 --> 00:20:23,417
Where the hell is Nina?
530
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:24,617
She left me a voice mail
531
00:20:24,617 --> 00:20:26,217
that she had to go
to the dentist,
532
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:27,817
so we should give her
a few minutes.
533
00:20:27,817 --> 00:20:28,884
Hey, Jack,
534
00:20:28,884 --> 00:20:30,283
can I play with
your laser pointer?
535
00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:32,951
Can't. I traded it in
for this hi-tech whistle
536
00:20:32,951 --> 00:20:34,884
that only birds can hear.
537
00:20:34,884 --> 00:20:37,584
[HISSING]
538
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:38,884
I don't know.
539
00:20:38,884 --> 00:20:40,717
I guess
I'm just a sucker for nature.
540
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:41,717
[LOUD THUMP]
541
00:20:47,118 --> 00:20:49,150
All right.
Let's start without her.
542
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:50,784
Elliott, what is the status--
543
00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:51,851
Good morning.
544
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,018
Uh, don't worry,
545
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,484
I told them about
the dentist.
546
00:20:54,484 --> 00:20:56,018
Huh! What dentist?
547
00:20:56,018 --> 00:20:58,784
I was having sex with a man
practically half my age,
548
00:20:58,784 --> 00:21:00,817
and you know
who I have to thank?
549
00:21:00,817 --> 00:21:02,851
The man who invented
chloroform?
550
00:21:02,851 --> 00:21:05,051
No. Maya.
551
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:11,283
I said "people skills,"
not "pimping skills..."
552
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:15,984
but if everybody's
happy...
553
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,751
Hey, before we get started,
554
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:19,550
I just want to thank everyone
555
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:21,417
for helping me
celebrate my birthday,
556
00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:22,484
especially Maya.
557
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,584
I'll never forget it.
558
00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:27,784
Very nice.
559
00:21:27,784 --> 00:21:29,051
Who wants to lead off?
560
00:21:29,051 --> 00:21:30,051
I will.
561
00:21:30,051 --> 00:21:32,150
I'd like to repitch my idea
562
00:21:32,150 --> 00:21:33,784
about how men throughout history
563
00:21:33,784 --> 00:21:35,717
have used fashion
to subjugate women.
564
00:21:36,917 --> 00:21:38,751
See? Nina loves it.
565
00:21:42,283 --> 00:21:43,550
Here you are, sir.
566
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,283
Nice, hot coffee,
567
00:21:45,283 --> 00:21:47,484
and to go with it,
a special treat.
568
00:21:47,484 --> 00:21:48,684
I am
569
00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:50,350
your sweet-loving
lap daddy,
570
00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:51,651
and I do as I am told.
571
00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:06,684
[o/~]
572
00:22:09,617 --> 00:22:13,717
o/~ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you
573
00:22:13,717 --> 00:22:17,183
o/~ Keeps bringing me home
574
00:22:17,183 --> 00:22:20,751
o/~ It don't matter
What I want to do
575
00:22:20,751 --> 00:22:25,250
o/~ 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own
576
00:22:27,684 --> 00:22:31,118
o/~ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you
577
00:22:31,168 --> 00:22:35,718
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