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1
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,000
Oi! Change!
2
00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:13,503
Oh, thank you so very much.
3
00:01:13,605 --> 00:01:15,505
Thank you.
4
00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:18,007
Thank you!
5
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,210
Good morning, Mr Wooster.
6
00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:29,113
- What? What's the time?
- Ten past nine, sir.
7
00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:32,417
Ten past nine!
8
00:01:32,518 --> 00:01:34,518
ls the building on fire?
9
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:37,020
Not that l've been informed, sir, no.
10
00:01:37,122 --> 00:01:39,622
Mr Fink-Nottle is here to see you, sir.
11
00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,524
Jeeves...
12
00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:45,625
l'm not awake. l've not had my tea,
and yet you bring me Fink-Nottles.
13
00:01:45,728 --> 00:01:47,728
ls this a time for any kind of Nottle?
14
00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:50,129
The gentleman did say it was urgent, sir.
15
00:01:50,231 --> 00:01:54,731
Yes, well, he lives in the country. He gets
overstimulated when he's in London.
16
00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:57,134
Tell him l'll see him
at the Drones at 12:00.
17
00:01:57,236 --> 00:01:59,136
Very good, sir.
18
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,040
Taxi! Ta...
19
00:02:05,142 --> 00:02:10,542
- l'm terribly sorry. Are you all right?
- No, it's all right, happens all the time.
20
00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:14,747
Drones Club, Dover Street, please.
21
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:19,250
- (Door opens)
- Mrs Travers to see you, sir.
22
00:02:22,754 --> 00:02:27,254
Tell Mrs Travers l'm out,
and l'll deal with her in the morning.
23
00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:32,258
Bertie! You old ass!
Wake up! lt's time you were dressed.
24
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,261
l've got a job for you.
25
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,863
Does your master
always lie about like this, Jeeves?
26
00:02:37,965 --> 00:02:41,065
Mr Wooster was detained
at a business meeting
27
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:42,867
until late last evening.
28
00:02:42,969 --> 00:02:44,969
Business meeting?
29
00:02:45,070 --> 00:02:47,970
How do you mean a job?
Why a job? What sort of job?
30
00:02:48,072 --> 00:02:52,372
You'll enjoy it. You've heard of
Market Snodsbury Grammar School?
31
00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:56,275
- Never.
- A grammar school. Market Snodsbury.
32
00:02:56,378 --> 00:02:59,378
The prize-giving takes place
next Wednesday.
33
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,380
Thank you, Jeeves.
34
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,682
You are going to give away the prizes.
35
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,484
Me?
36
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,586
What, do you mean me give prizes?
37
00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:11,287
l mean you give prizes.
38
00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:13,789
The vicar was going to do it,
39
00:03:13,891 --> 00:03:16,791
but he's strained a fetlock
and he's had to scratch.
40
00:03:17,894 --> 00:03:20,294
No, Aunt Dahlia. No, no, no, no.
41
00:03:20,395 --> 00:03:23,795
What, me give prizes,
make a speech? Ha! Ha-ha-ha!
42
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,802
- Well, don't!
- Well, no, l will not do it.
43
00:03:32,904 --> 00:03:35,004
That's final. l simply will not do it.
44
00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:37,006
You will do it, young Bertie.
45
00:03:37,107 --> 00:03:40,607
Or you'll never darken my doors again,
and you know what that means.
46
00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:43,810
No more of Anatole's dinners for you.
47
00:03:43,912 --> 00:03:45,612
Oh, now, look here!
48
00:03:45,713 --> 00:03:50,313
No, not another bite
of Anatole's cooking do you get
49
00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:54,217
if you refuse this simple,
easy, pleasant job.
50
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,720
But you have to be a frightful nib
to give away prizes.
51
00:03:57,822 --> 00:04:00,922
When l was at school it was
some Prime Minister or other.
52
00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:04,224
Well, that was Eton! At Market Snodsbury
53
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,727
anyone in spats impresses us.
54
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:09,429
Why don't you get Uncle Tom?
He's got spats.
55
00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:14,030
Because, Bertie, quite soon now
l've got to sidle up to Uncle Tom
56
00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:17,834
and break the news that
l need a cheque for £500 off him.
57
00:04:17,936 --> 00:04:20,036
For Milady's Boudoir.
58
00:04:20,138 --> 00:04:22,738
By August 3rd at the latest.
59
00:04:23,941 --> 00:04:26,341
The Boudoir on the rocks again, is it?
60
00:04:26,443 --> 00:04:29,543
Until you have run
a weekly woman's magazine,
61
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,545
you don't know what rocks are.
62
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:35,446
You remember me losing
all that money at baccarat in Cannes?
63
00:04:35,549 --> 00:04:38,649
Don't l just!
The casino wanted to put up a plaque.
64
00:04:38,751 --> 00:04:40,751
That wasn't Uncle Tom's money, surely?
65
00:04:40,853 --> 00:04:45,153
No, but it was money he'd given me
to pay Milady's Boudoir's bills.
66
00:04:45,256 --> 00:04:47,356
Oh, lor!
67
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:49,758
So if you think that l'm going to ask him
68
00:04:49,859 --> 00:04:54,259
to put on the top hat and the lavender
gloves and distribute prizes
69
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,962
at the Market Snodsbury
Grammar School...
70
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,064
Yes, l see what you mean.
71
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,866
l shall give you today
72
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:05,767
to set your affairs in order, and expect
you at Brinkley Court tomorrow.
73
00:05:07,672 --> 00:05:10,972
You'll enjoy it! Ha-ha-ha!
74
00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:16,275
l can't understand Gussie Fink-Nottle
being in London, Jeeves.
75
00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:20,078
Until now he's remained glued to
the country, surrounded by newts.
76
00:05:20,181 --> 00:05:22,381
- Morning, Jarvis.
- Good morning, sir.
77
00:05:22,483 --> 00:05:25,883
Newts, Jeeves. Those lizardy things
that charge about in ponds.
78
00:05:25,985 --> 00:05:29,085
Yes, sir. The aquatic members
of the family salamandridae,
79
00:05:29,187 --> 00:05:32,787
- that constitute the genus molga.
- Yes, they're the chaps.
80
00:05:32,890 --> 00:05:35,190
Anyway, he used to keep them at school.
81
00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:37,692
Young gentlemen frequently do, sir.
82
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:40,193
He retired to the depths of the country
83
00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:42,795
and gave up his life
to these dumb chums.
84
00:05:42,897 --> 00:05:46,097
l suppose he thought he could
take them or leave them alone,
85
00:05:46,199 --> 00:05:49,299
- and then he found he couldn't.
- lt's often the way, sir.
86
00:05:49,402 --> 00:05:51,702
- Morning, Molly.
- Morning, sir.
87
00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:53,903
He didn't say what he wanted, did he?
88
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:57,505
He confided in me to the extent that
he's enamoured of a young lady,
89
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,508
but that she makes him nervous, sir.
90
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:03,109
Well, are we surprised?
You look at the life he's lead.
91
00:06:03,212 --> 00:06:06,712
l don't suppose he's even spoken
to a girl in five years.
92
00:06:06,814 --> 00:06:08,614
What a lesson this is to us, Jeeves.
93
00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:13,516
ln life you can shut yourself up in
a country house and stare at a newt tank,
94
00:06:13,619 --> 00:06:16,619
or you can be a dasher with the sex.
But you can't do both!
95
00:06:16,721 --> 00:06:18,621
lt's a sad reflection, sir.
96
00:06:18,723 --> 00:06:21,123
Did Gussie mention this girl's name?
97
00:06:21,224 --> 00:06:24,224
She's a Miss Bassett, sir.
Miss Madeline Bassett.
98
00:06:24,327 --> 00:06:27,527
Well, l'm dashed.
l'm positively dashed, Jeeves.
99
00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:30,029
lndeed, sir?
ls she an acquaintance of yours?
100
00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:34,131
Absolutely. Her father is the beak
who fined me five pounds.
101
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:37,134
l must confess, Jeeves,
until you told me this,
102
00:06:37,236 --> 00:06:41,736
l had definite doubts about Gussie's
chances. But now hope begins to dawn.
103
00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,839
He's the sort of chap
Madeline might scoop up with a spoon.
104
00:06:44,941 --> 00:06:46,741
This is indeed good news, sir.
105
00:06:46,843 --> 00:06:50,043
l wouldn't go so far as to say
she actually writes poetry,
106
00:06:50,145 --> 00:06:53,445
but when a girl suddenly asks you
out of a clear blue sky
107
00:06:53,548 --> 00:06:56,748
if you don't think that
the stars are God's daisy chain,
108
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,850
well, you do begin to wonder, Jeeves.
109
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,951
lndeed, sir.
110
00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:08,957
- Yeuw!
- Howzat!
111
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,459
Not out, l'm afraid.
112
00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:14,761
ln by a mile.
113
00:07:15,363 --> 00:07:17,463
Ahem! What ho, Gussie.
114
00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:20,365
Oh, hello, Bertie.
115
00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:23,167
So, what's all this about you
and Madeline Bassett?
116
00:07:23,269 --> 00:07:26,469
- l didn't know you knew her.
- l didn't. Not until l met her.
117
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:30,371
She was staying near my place
in Lincolnshire the week before last.
118
00:07:30,474 --> 00:07:33,774
Her dog had got a thorn in its foot
and l got it out for her.
119
00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:36,476
So, love at first sight, eh?
120
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:38,278
Yes. Oh, Bertie!
121
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,180
Life would be so much simpler
if we were newts!
122
00:07:41,282 --> 00:07:44,682
Yes, well, l've said the same thing myself
a hundred times.
123
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:47,484
Do you know
how the male newt proposes, Bertie?
124
00:07:47,586 --> 00:07:49,386
He stands before the female newt,
125
00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:52,487
vibrating his tail and bending his body
in a semi-circle.
126
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,590
- No!
- Yes. Like this...
127
00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,393
Well, it's a change
from champagne and flowers.
128
00:08:00,495 --> 00:08:03,995
- Now, Gussie...
- l say! l say!
129
00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:07,598
lt's time someone came up
with something better than the foxtrot!
130
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:12,000
Ha-ha-ha-ha! This'll turn a few heads
at Quag's tonight!
131
00:08:12,104 --> 00:08:16,004
Madeline has gone to stay in
the country. l don't know what to do!
132
00:08:16,106 --> 00:08:18,006
Well, follow her, of course.
133
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:20,708
l can't plonk myself
on a lot of perfect strangers.
134
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:24,010
- Ah, so you don't know these people?
- Their name is Travers.
135
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,711
At Brinkley Court, in Worcestershire.
136
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,114
Gussie, your troubles are at an end.
137
00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:33,216
This very afternoon you will travel down
to Brinkley Court as an honoured guest.
138
00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:35,619
You don't mean you know
these Traverses?
139
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,720
''They'' are my Aunt Dahlia.
140
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,426
But what do l do when l get there?
141
00:08:45,527 --> 00:08:48,827
lf you knew Brinkley Court,
you wouldn't ask that.
142
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:53,530
The place is soggy with atmosphere.
l've got engaged three times at Brinkley.
143
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,333
- Really?
- No business resulted, of course, but...
144
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:59,735
- the fact remains...
- Thank you so much, Bertie.
145
00:09:00,938 --> 00:09:06,238
''On consulting engagement book,
deeply regret am unable to come down,
146
00:09:06,342 --> 00:09:10,942
''so am sending
my friend Augustus Fink...''
147
00:09:11,046 --> 00:09:14,946
- Nottle.
- ''Nottle, to enjoy your hospitality.
148
00:09:15,049 --> 00:09:18,549
''He's well-known in Lincolnshire
as distributor of school prizes,
149
00:09:18,651 --> 00:09:21,451
''so there isn't any need
for me now, is there?
150
00:09:21,553 --> 00:09:24,153
''Toodle-oo, your loving nephew, Bertie.''
151
00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:26,255
- Excellent!
- Heave-ho, Gussie!
152
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,757
47 ginger-headed sailors
153
00:09:28,858 --> 00:09:31,758
You can bet you're going to hear them
when they hail us
154
00:09:33,362 --> 00:09:36,362
l stake everything on propinquity,
Jeeves.
155
00:09:36,464 --> 00:09:39,664
At the moment, Gussie is
a mere jelly when in the presence,
156
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:41,866
but ask yourself how he'll feel in a week,
157
00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:45,068
after he and she have been taking
sausages out of the same dish
158
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,870
day after day at the breakfast sideboard.
159
00:09:47,972 --> 00:09:49,672
- Golly, Jeeves!
- Sir.
160
00:09:49,773 --> 00:09:52,373
An instance of
how you have to think of everything.
161
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:56,075
- You heard me mention sausages?
- Sausages. Yes, sir.
162
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,078
Take down a telegram, Jeeves.
163
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,680
l must warn Gussie without delay.
164
00:10:00,781 --> 00:10:05,381
He has to create the impression to this
girl that he's pining away for love of her.
165
00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:08,585
This cannot be done
by wolfing down sausages.
166
00:10:08,687 --> 00:10:10,887
- Ready?
- lndeed, sir.
167
00:10:10,988 --> 00:10:13,988
''Fink-Nottle, Brinkley Court,
Market Snodsbury.
168
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,191
''Lay off the sausages. Bertie.''
169
00:10:18,194 --> 00:10:19,294
Very good, sir.
170
00:10:19,394 --> 00:10:22,694
No, no, wait a sec.
''PS. Also avoid the ham.''
171
00:10:22,797 --> 00:10:24,797
Yes, that should do it.
172
00:10:24,898 --> 00:10:26,798
Ahem.
173
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:31,801
l say, Jeeves, as a matter of interest,
what are you doing?
174
00:10:31,903 --> 00:10:33,803
l merely ask.
175
00:10:33,905 --> 00:10:36,705
l'm sorting through these clothes, sir.
176
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:40,307
These are for repair,
and these for discarding.
177
00:10:40,409 --> 00:10:42,309
Wait a second...
178
00:10:43,011 --> 00:10:45,211
This white mess jacket is brand new!
179
00:10:45,313 --> 00:10:48,213
l assume it had got
into your wardrobe by mistake, sir.
180
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,115
Or else that it had been placed there
by your enemies.
181
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:54,217
l will have you know, Jeeves,
that l bought this in Cannes.
182
00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:57,519
- And wore it, sir?
- Every night. At the casino.
183
00:10:57,622 --> 00:11:00,222
Beautiful women used to
try and to catch my eye.
184
00:11:00,324 --> 00:11:02,724
Presumably they thought
you were a waiter, sir.
185
00:11:02,825 --> 00:11:04,625
Now, look here, Jeeves...
186
00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:07,127
(Door bell)
- Excuse me, sir.
187
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,931
Telegram for Mr Wooster.
188
00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:19,234
- Telegram for you, sir.
- Well, read it, Jeeves, read it.
189
00:11:24,641 --> 00:11:30,241
''Deeply regret, my foot! Consider
your conduct the frozen limit.
190
00:11:30,345 --> 00:11:34,945
''What do you mean by planting
your loathsome friends on me like this?
191
00:11:35,048 --> 00:11:37,048
''Who is this Spink-Bottle?
192
00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:40,650
''Deeply regret Brinkley Court
a hundred miles from London,
193
00:11:40,752 --> 00:11:43,452
''as unable to hit you with brick.
194
00:11:43,554 --> 00:11:47,554
''Come this instant.
Angela broken off engagement
195
00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:51,057
''with your other friend, Glossop.
Love, Travers.''
196
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,560
- l say, Jeeves.
- Sir.
197
00:11:53,662 --> 00:11:57,562
My cousin Angela has broken off
her engagement with Tuppy Glossop.
198
00:11:57,665 --> 00:11:59,965
So l gather, sir.
199
00:12:00,066 --> 00:12:04,566
Well, we shall have to go down there
at once. Aunt Dahlia is all of a twitter
200
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:07,770
- and my place is at her side.
- Very good, sir.
201
00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:10,272
This comes as a great shock, Jeeves.
202
00:12:10,374 --> 00:12:14,074
Tuppy and Angela. Why, it always
seemed like the paper on the wall.
203
00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:16,476
Life is full of sadness, Jeeves.
204
00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:18,478
Yes, sir.
205
00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:20,579
Still, there it is.
206
00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:31,187
What is it about uncles and aunts,
Jeeves?
207
00:12:31,289 --> 00:12:34,989
- l really couldn't say, sir.
- l mean, with one's parents,
208
00:12:35,091 --> 00:12:39,891
after a few preliminary skirmishes
over sago pudding and stewed rhubarb,
209
00:12:39,995 --> 00:12:43,595
one settles down to a sort of amicable,
if humdrum relationship.
210
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:46,397
- But aunts, Jeeves...
- Very true, sir.
211
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,699
They don't even know
the word 'humdrum'.
212
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:52,101
Amongst the grim regimen of my aunts,
Aunt Dahlia stands alone
213
00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:55,003
as a real sportsman.
l mean, look at my Aunt Agatha.
214
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:56,906
lndeed, sir, yes.
215
00:12:57,007 --> 00:12:59,207
- And Aunt Julia!
- Quite, sir.
216
00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:01,109
And Aunt Charlotte! Oh!
217
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:04,910
She sent me that rather bitter postcard
of Little Chilbury War Memorial
218
00:13:05,013 --> 00:13:08,813
when l refused to take her awful child
to lunch on the way back to school.
219
00:13:08,915 --> 00:13:11,615
Aunts are noted for
their strong opinions, sir.
220
00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:13,817
lt's a distinguishing mark of the breed.
221
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,819
But it's the things they say, Jeeves.
222
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,520
Aunt calling to aunt like mastodons
bellowing across primeval swamps.
223
00:13:20,624 --> 00:13:24,424
But swamP ur nu swamP, Jeeves,we must hie us tu Brinkley Cuurt.
224
00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:26,327
We have a duty tu Cuusin Angela.
225
00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:28,828
A cuusin in need is a cuusin indeed.
226
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:30,830
Very true, sir.
227
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,239
(Horn hoots)
228
00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:57,149
Hello, Bertie.
229
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,650
Oh, Angela, old thing.
230
00:13:59,752 --> 00:14:02,652
- Mummy's in the library.
- Right.
231
00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:07,856
Hello, Aunt Dahlia.
232
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:13,058
Ah, Bertie. Anatole and l were just going
over his wonderful menu for dinner.
233
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:17,262
For you, Mr Wooster, l add a dish.
234
00:14:17,364 --> 00:14:21,664
Your favourite -
my timbale de riz de veau toulousaine.
235
00:14:22,568 --> 00:14:24,768
Will it on, Anatole, old friend, will it on!
236
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:27,870
Oh, l will it, Monsieur Wooster,
have no fright!
237
00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:29,772
Right-ho. Mm.
238
00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:33,174
- Bertie...
- Dearest A.
239
00:14:33,976 --> 00:14:37,476
Oh, Bertie, decent of you to rally round.
240
00:14:37,579 --> 00:14:39,879
l don't know whether
l'm on my head or my heels.
241
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,280
lt's a bad show,
my dear old flesh and blood.
242
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:47,182
When Tom finds out that that blasted
Glossop is making Angela unhappy,
243
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,786
he'll very likely blow a gasket.
244
00:14:56,692 --> 00:15:01,092
The trouble is, Tom's just had a demand
from the income tax people
245
00:15:01,196 --> 00:15:05,296
for an additional £58 1 s 3d.
246
00:15:06,399 --> 00:15:09,699
He says he's ruined,
and what will become of us all,
247
00:15:09,802 --> 00:15:12,202
under the iron heel of the red menace?
248
00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:16,603
lf it weren't for Anatole's cooking,
l doubt if he'd bother to carry on.
249
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,307
- What did Angela and Tuppy row about?
- Sharks.
250
00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:21,709
Or, rather, one particular shark.
251
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:24,510
You remember that brute
that went for the poor child
252
00:15:24,612 --> 00:15:28,912
- when she was aquaplaning in Cannes?
- Oh, that shark. l remember talk of it.
253
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,615
Well, Angela was telling
the story last night,
254
00:15:31,717 --> 00:15:36,117
her eyes shining, her little hands clasped
in girlish excitement.
255
00:15:36,221 --> 00:15:39,221
And what do you think
that blasted Glossop did?
256
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:42,023
He sat there, listening,
like a lump of dough,
257
00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:46,325
and when she finished he said,
''Probably a flatfish. Quite harmless.
258
00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:48,328
''No doubt he was just trying to play.''
259
00:15:48,429 --> 00:15:53,229
- Oh, l say...
- Exactly. l mean, Angela has pride.
260
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,533
She's sensitive.
261
00:15:55,634 --> 00:15:59,634
She told him he was a fool, an idiot, and
didn't know what he was talking about.
262
00:16:00,638 --> 00:16:03,138
Strong words.
Yes, l can see why you needed me.
263
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,940
Yes. Or, rather, not you...
264
00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:09,743
- but Jeeves.
- Jeeves?
265
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:12,145
That wonderful brain of his.
266
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:16,047
No, no, no, no.
Aunt Dahlia, l'm sorry, no.
267
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:20,149
But Jeeves is not the only one with
a brain. On this occasion, l am your man.
268
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,365
What ho, Tuppy.
269
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,466
Oh, hello, Bertie.
270
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,569
You've heard of this business,
l suppose, me and Angela?
271
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:51,272
Yes, some little friction, l gather,
in re Angela's shark.
272
00:16:51,374 --> 00:16:54,074
Angela had been most offensive,
the little squirt.
273
00:16:54,176 --> 00:16:57,176
l merely seized the opportunity
to get a bit of my own back.
274
00:16:57,278 --> 00:16:59,278
- Offensive?
- Most offensive!
275
00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,980
Just because l let fall a casual remark
276
00:17:02,082 --> 00:17:05,182
that l wondered
what Anatole was giving us for dinner,
277
00:17:05,284 --> 00:17:08,284
she said l ought not to be
always thinking about food.
278
00:17:08,386 --> 00:17:10,586
But you still love her, don't you?
279
00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:14,288
l'm not saying l don't love her,
little blighter.
280
00:17:14,391 --> 00:17:16,591
l mean, l love her passionately, but...
281
00:17:16,692 --> 00:17:20,992
That doesn't alter my opinion that what
she needs most is a kick in the pants.
282
00:17:21,095 --> 00:17:24,795
- Tuppy, old man!
- lt's no good saying, ''Tuppy, old man!''
283
00:17:24,898 --> 00:17:26,998
Well, l do say, ''Tuppy, old man!''
284
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:31,200
One is shocked.
One raises the eyebrows.
285
00:17:31,303 --> 00:17:34,203
Where is the fine old chivalrous spirit
of the Glossops?
286
00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:37,605
Well, where is the sweet, gentle,
womanly spirit of the Angelas?
287
00:17:37,707 --> 00:17:40,307
Telling a chap he's getting a double chin!
288
00:17:40,409 --> 00:17:42,309
Be fair, Tuppy.
289
00:17:42,411 --> 00:17:46,711
Remember the time you said her new hat
made her look like a Pekinese?
290
00:17:46,814 --> 00:17:50,114
Yes, well...
lt did make her look like a Pekinese.
291
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:52,616
But that wasn't vulgar abuse,
292
00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:55,218
just sound, constructive criticism.
293
00:17:58,322 --> 00:18:04,122
Well, the only way to work the thing
might be to tip her off in an indirect way
294
00:18:04,226 --> 00:18:06,826
that l'm prepared to open negotiations.
295
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:09,228
Tuppy, l've got it!
296
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:13,830
There is one infallible method
of indicating to a girl that you love her.
297
00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:16,833
- Don't eat any dinner tonight.
- What?
298
00:18:16,935 --> 00:18:20,335
lt would be impressive.
She knows how devoted you are to food.
299
00:18:20,438 --> 00:18:23,638
- l am not devoted to food!
- No, no, no, no, of course not.
300
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:27,440
All l meant was that if she sees you
push your dinner away untasted,
301
00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:32,543
she will realise your heart is aching,
and she'll suggest blowing the all-clear.
302
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:35,546
Look, l have a healthy appetite, that's all!
303
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:37,949
Food, qua food, means nothing to me.
304
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,150
No, no, no, no, of course not, no.
305
00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:44,552
- Push away a dinner cooked by Anatole?
- That's right.
306
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:48,655
- lt's pretty extreme, that.
- The extremer the better.
307
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,958
- lt will be agony.
- Well, not for long.
308
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:56,760
You can always slip down tonight when
everyone's in bed and raid the larder.
309
00:18:56,864 --> 00:18:58,864
Oh, yes. Yes...
310
00:18:58,965 --> 00:19:01,265
- l see. l could, couldn't l?
- Yes.
311
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:03,967
l expect there's something cold there.
312
00:19:04,069 --> 00:19:07,369
There is something cold there.
Steak-and-kidney pie.
313
00:19:07,471 --> 00:19:09,171
We had it for lunch today.
314
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,873
One of Anatole's ripest. Ohh...
315
00:19:11,975 --> 00:19:14,775
lt was a masterly pie, Bertie,
you should have seen it.
316
00:19:14,877 --> 00:19:18,377
Not too much kidney,
just enough to give it that touch of bite.
317
00:19:18,479 --> 00:19:21,179
And lashings of steak. Good steak, too...
318
00:19:21,281 --> 00:19:23,281
- Tuppy!
- What?
319
00:19:24,584 --> 00:19:26,884
Oh, right. Yes, right.
320
00:19:28,186 --> 00:19:30,686
Pushed away it shall be.
321
00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:38,592
Terrific idea, Bertie.
322
00:19:39,794 --> 00:19:42,494
Bom-pa-bom, da-dee-dum
323
00:19:42,796 --> 00:19:45,196
Da-dee-da-da
324
00:19:45,298 --> 00:19:48,298
La-ta-tee, da-da-dee-dum
325
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,500
Bom-pa-bom, ya-dee-da
326
00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,503
Thank you, Jeeves.
327
00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:08,814
Psst!
328
00:20:09,315 --> 00:20:11,215
Psst!
329
00:20:11,317 --> 00:20:13,417
Psssst!
330
00:20:14,419 --> 00:20:15,919
What ho, Gussie!
331
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:34,930
l like your nerve! Bounding about
the place, saying, ''What ho, Gussie!''
332
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:39,234
lt was a dastardly act to crawl out of the
prize-giving act and shove it off on me.
333
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:42,937
My dear old Gussie, just think
of what it's going to do for you.
334
00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:46,539
You'll be up on the platform,
an impressive figure,
335
00:20:46,642 --> 00:20:48,842
the what-you-may-call-it of all eyes.
336
00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:51,344
Madeline will see you
in a totally new light.
337
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,345
- Oh, will she?
- Course she will.
338
00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:56,848
Fink-Nottle, the newt's friend, she
knows.
339
00:20:56,949 --> 00:20:59,949
Fink-Nottle, the dog's chiropodist,
she also knows.
340
00:21:00,052 --> 00:21:04,352
But Fink-Nottle the orator, the man
of affairs, it'll knock her sideways.
341
00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,355
- Do you think so?
- Sure of it.
342
00:21:06,456 --> 00:21:08,556
l suppose it might be all right.
343
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:11,458
But she seems so aloof, Bertie,
so remote.
344
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,960
Especially when l see her sideways.
345
00:21:14,062 --> 00:21:17,362
Have you ever seen her sideways,
Bertie?
346
00:21:17,464 --> 00:21:21,764
That cold, pure profile?
lt just takes all the heart out of one.
347
00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:24,467
Yes, well,
she needs to be softened up, sweetened.
348
00:21:24,569 --> 00:21:27,769
l've been thinking.
You'll be pleased to hear l have a plan.
349
00:21:29,673 --> 00:21:32,273
Mm-mm mm-mm-mm
350
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,575
Mm-mm hm-mm-mm
351
00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:38,677
Ba-bee-da-dee dum-bugh
352
00:21:38,779 --> 00:21:40,479
Ba dee-da-dum
353
00:21:40,581 --> 00:21:42,381
Be so good, Jeeves,
354
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:44,982
as to shove that black thing
back in the wardrobe
355
00:21:45,084 --> 00:21:47,984
and bring me my white mess jacket
with the brass buttons.
356
00:21:48,086 --> 00:21:52,586
Oh, good heavens, sir.
lt was most remiss of me, but l fear
357
00:21:52,689 --> 00:21:56,389
- l omitted to pack the garment.
- l know you did, Jeeves.
358
00:21:56,992 --> 00:21:58,792
But l didn't.
359
00:22:01,095 --> 00:22:03,795
You'll find it in the other wardrobe.
360
00:22:03,897 --> 00:22:05,797
Very good, sir.
361
00:22:11,803 --> 00:22:16,203
The rift between Tuppy and my cousin
Angela appears to be serious, Jeeves.
362
00:22:16,306 --> 00:22:18,106
lndeed, sir.
363
00:22:18,207 --> 00:22:21,507
Well, l've had
rather a stunning idea, Jeeves.
364
00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:25,710
l've been in conference with Mr Glossop,
and everything is taped out.
365
00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:27,813
lndeed, sir.
366
00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:32,015
Jeeves, l'm sure
nothing is further from your mind,
367
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,517
but you have
a way of saying, ''lndeed, sir,''
368
00:22:34,619 --> 00:22:37,619
which indicates that
only a feudal sense of what is fitting
369
00:22:37,721 --> 00:22:40,321
prevents you from substituting,
''Says you!''
370
00:22:40,423 --> 00:22:43,123
- l'm distressed to hear this, sir.
- So you should be.
371
00:22:43,225 --> 00:22:45,025
- Corrected.
- Very good, sir.
372
00:22:45,127 --> 00:22:48,527
You'll be glad to hear l have taken steps
re Tuppy and Angela.
373
00:22:48,629 --> 00:22:52,029
- lndeed, sir.
- Jeeves...
374
00:22:52,132 --> 00:22:55,232
Sorry, sir. Please continue.
375
00:22:55,334 --> 00:23:00,334
Right, this is the plan. l recommended to
Tuppy that at dinner he lay off the food.
376
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:04,038
- Sir?
- Tut, Jeeves!
377
00:23:04,140 --> 00:23:06,740
Have you forgotten
the telegram to Fink-Nottle,
378
00:23:06,842 --> 00:23:09,242
steering him away from
the sausages and ham?
379
00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:11,344
This is more of the same thing.
380
00:23:11,445 --> 00:23:14,345
Pushing away the scoff
is a recognised sign of love.
381
00:23:14,448 --> 00:23:16,548
- Nothing elaborate, you see.
- No, sir.
382
00:23:16,649 --> 00:23:20,149
Nothing strange or bizarre or far-fetched,
just nature's remedy.
383
00:23:20,252 --> 00:23:23,652
lt cannot fail to bring home the gravy,
surely you must see that.
384
00:23:23,754 --> 00:23:27,154
- Well, sir...
- You don't think my scheme will work?
385
00:23:27,257 --> 00:23:32,457
l fear Miss Angela may merely attribute
Mr Glossop's abstinence to indigestion.
386
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,060
l say, Jeeves.
l've just had another thought.
387
00:23:36,163 --> 00:23:39,763
- Oh, l am relieved, sir.
- Help me on with the jacket, Jeeves.
388
00:23:39,866 --> 00:23:41,966
Erm, which way up does it go, sir?
389
00:23:50,273 --> 00:23:52,173
Tom!
390
00:23:52,275 --> 00:23:56,175
You're not starting on about money
for your magazine again, are you?
391
00:23:56,277 --> 00:23:58,777
What are you doing with that gun?
392
00:23:58,879 --> 00:24:03,479
What? Oh, l heard someone
creeping around outside last night.
393
00:24:03,583 --> 00:24:05,483
Tonight l'll be ready for them.
394
00:24:05,584 --> 00:24:07,884
l forbid you to play around with that gun.
395
00:24:07,986 --> 00:24:11,286
- Blast it, Dahlia...
- Not another word, Tom.
396
00:24:11,388 --> 00:24:13,688
l forbid it!
397
00:24:13,790 --> 00:24:16,690
You know you always shoot
the wrong people.
398
00:24:48,815 --> 00:24:51,315
What do you think you're made up as?
399
00:24:52,818 --> 00:24:54,718
What, the jacket, you mean?
400
00:24:54,819 --> 00:24:59,119
You look like one of the chorus
in Act two of a touring musical comedy.
401
00:24:59,222 --> 00:25:01,622
- Tut!
- What did you say?
402
00:25:01,724 --> 00:25:05,024
- l said ''tut''!
- Say it again and l'll biff you.
403
00:25:05,127 --> 00:25:08,027
l have enough to endure
without being tutted at.
404
00:25:08,129 --> 00:25:10,029
Well, quite.
405
00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:12,930
Any tutting that's required, l'll do myself.
406
00:25:13,032 --> 00:25:16,332
My dear old aunt, your troubles are over.
407
00:25:16,435 --> 00:25:19,935
The Wooster brain has shifted
into top gear once more.
408
00:25:20,037 --> 00:25:22,937
Oh, no! What have l done
to deserve this?
409
00:25:23,039 --> 00:25:25,739
There is only one course
for you to pursue.
410
00:25:25,841 --> 00:25:27,941
You must go on the Wooster Diet.
411
00:25:28,043 --> 00:25:31,243
The Wooster Diet? What is all this drivel?
412
00:25:31,345 --> 00:25:33,245
No, no, this is the real Tabasco.
413
00:25:33,347 --> 00:25:36,847
All you have to do is
to refuse your oats at dinner tonight.
414
00:25:36,949 --> 00:25:38,849
Just sit there looking blistered,
415
00:25:38,951 --> 00:25:42,551
and wave away each course
with a weary gesture of resignation.
416
00:25:42,653 --> 00:25:44,553
Why? Why should l?
417
00:25:44,655 --> 00:25:49,155
Because l'm prepared to bet, aged A,
that at the conclusion of dinner,
418
00:25:49,258 --> 00:25:53,158
Uncle Tom will come up to you
and he will say, ''Dahlia, darling...''
419
00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:55,161
l take it he calls you Dahlia?
420
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:58,962
''Dahlia, darling, l noticed that at dinner
you were off your feed.
421
00:25:59,065 --> 00:26:00,865
ls anything wrong, darling?''
422
00:26:00,966 --> 00:26:04,766
These Travers's sound a pretty soppy
couple of blighters to me.
423
00:26:04,869 --> 00:26:07,669
''ls there anything
that l can do, Dahlia darling?''
424
00:26:07,771 --> 00:26:10,971
To which you will reply,
''Yes, there jolly well is.''
425
00:26:11,074 --> 00:26:14,474
''Vis, reach for the chequebook
and start writing.''
426
00:26:14,576 --> 00:26:16,976
Bertie, that's positively bright.
427
00:26:17,078 --> 00:26:19,678
When did Jeeves think it up?
428
00:26:19,780 --> 00:26:21,780
l'll have you know, Aunt Dahlia,
429
00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:24,981
that this scheme is
100%"" Wooster brain material.
430
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:28,084
- lt's bound to work.
- Do you know, l think it might.
431
00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:31,387
l'll do it.
432
00:26:33,390 --> 00:26:36,790
l'm dreading sitting
opposite Glossop, Madeline.
433
00:26:36,892 --> 00:26:40,792
Oh, poor Angela,
are you still upset about Tuppy?
434
00:26:40,895 --> 00:26:44,695
- Love is such a heartbreak, isn't it?
- Heartbreak? l'm boiling mad!
435
00:26:44,798 --> 00:26:46,598
The man is a blithering oaf!
436
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,707
Oh! lt's magnifique!
437
00:26:59,808 --> 00:27:02,808
Tonight will be
the top of Anatole's career.
438
00:27:06,013 --> 00:27:08,613
(Tom) Can't keep a penny nowadays.
Tax on this,
439
00:27:08,715 --> 00:27:12,415
tax on that, income tax.
No doubt we'll all be paupers!
440
00:27:13,618 --> 00:27:15,818
l said to Dahlia, only the other day,
441
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,720
they begrudge you
the very food you put in your mouth.
442
00:27:21,524 --> 00:27:25,424
Then there was that clown Harold,
messing about at Hastings
443
00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:28,727
when he should have been
at Westminster cutting taxes.
444
00:27:28,829 --> 00:27:31,529
You and l paid for the king to be taught.
445
00:27:31,631 --> 00:27:33,631
Oh, yes!
446
00:27:34,133 --> 00:27:36,933
We shouldn't have had
those damned Saxons
447
00:27:37,035 --> 00:27:40,035
walking in as if they owned the place,
for a start!
448
00:27:40,137 --> 00:27:42,737
They'll have us begging in the streets.
449
00:27:42,839 --> 00:27:46,439
l swear to God,
they'll have us begging in the streets!
450
00:27:49,744 --> 00:27:51,544
l remember, l was in Jeramba,
451
00:27:51,645 --> 00:27:54,045
whole families there in the streets.
452
00:27:54,147 --> 00:27:56,147
Begging!
453
00:27:56,949 --> 00:27:59,549
This is what
this damn government wants!
454
00:28:04,455 --> 00:28:08,155
They do not like my consomme aux
pommes d'amour? lt is not possible!
455
00:28:08,257 --> 00:28:10,057
Non, non, non.
456
00:28:10,159 --> 00:28:13,159
They will love
my timbale de riz de veau toulousaine.
457
00:28:13,261 --> 00:28:15,161
Voilâ!
458
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:21,666
Then look at that Benjamin Disraeli.
459
00:28:21,767 --> 00:28:26,167
Him and his damned book-writing,
ruination of the Conservative Party.
460
00:28:26,270 --> 00:28:28,070
They're all Reds now.
461
00:28:28,171 --> 00:28:30,271
Ha!
462
00:28:30,373 --> 00:28:33,473
l saw it coming.
Now we want more. Now, l mean...
463
00:28:34,076 --> 00:28:37,976
That unpleasantness at Runnymede,
that was only the beginning.
464
00:28:38,079 --> 00:28:42,479
lt's been downhill from that moment on,
in my humble opinion. Good enough.
465
00:28:42,582 --> 00:28:46,582
Five minutes, not more,
and along comes that Oliver Cromwell.
466
00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:51,285
Terrible man with a face
full of carbuncles!
467
00:28:51,388 --> 00:28:55,788
Even when they buried him,
they dug him up again
468
00:28:55,891 --> 00:28:58,291
put his head on a pike
outside Westminster!
469
00:28:58,393 --> 00:29:02,293
Ha! What good that did.
l blame the Romans.
470
00:29:02,396 --> 00:29:05,096
lf Magnus Magnusson had hung on here,
471
00:29:05,198 --> 00:29:08,898
instead of pulling out his troops
the moment things got a bit tricky,
472
00:29:09,001 --> 00:29:12,201
the picture today would be
a very different one.
473
00:29:12,303 --> 00:29:14,203
Where did l turn wrong?
474
00:29:15,005 --> 00:29:17,805
What bad articles did l do
when l was small?
475
00:29:17,907 --> 00:29:20,107
Oh, l am finished!
476
00:30:07,342 --> 00:30:10,042
Non! No, l say!
477
00:30:10,144 --> 00:30:12,144
l'm not fire-resistant!
478
00:30:15,248 --> 00:30:17,948
They wait for Anatole,
they say the nice word,
479
00:30:18,050 --> 00:30:22,650
they flag me,
then, making me jealous, they do this!
480
00:30:22,753 --> 00:30:26,553
They leap.
Well, Anatole can leap too, eh?
481
00:30:26,656 --> 00:30:30,356
ln the words of their so-called poet,
Shakespeare... (Spits)
482
00:30:30,459 --> 00:30:33,759
''lf you wrong us, shall we not revenge?''
483
00:30:33,861 --> 00:30:37,361
Anatole shall have his revengement.
484
00:30:38,364 --> 00:30:41,564
(Bertie) Right, now, l shall take
Madeline to the garden.
485
00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:44,267
And talk to her of hearts that yearn,
486
00:30:44,369 --> 00:30:47,769
intimating that
there is one such on the premises.
487
00:30:47,871 --> 00:30:51,771
Then after about a quarter of an hour
or so, you'll turn up and take over.
488
00:30:51,874 --> 00:30:54,374
By the time her emotions
will be so churned up
489
00:30:54,476 --> 00:30:56,576
it'll be like leaping on a moving bus.
490
00:30:56,677 --> 00:31:00,777
The last time l leapt on a moving bus,
Bertie, l hurt myself rather badly.
491
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,480
That was more sort of
in front of a bus, wasn't it?
492
00:31:03,582 --> 00:31:05,382
But what shall l say?
493
00:31:05,484 --> 00:31:08,384
There are hundreds of things
you can say. You can say...
494
00:31:08,486 --> 00:31:12,386
how you've often thought that
the stars are God's daisy chain.
495
00:31:12,489 --> 00:31:14,789
- God's daisy chain?
- Mm.
496
00:31:14,890 --> 00:31:17,490
- Do you mind if l take some notes?
- Note away.
497
00:31:17,592 --> 00:31:19,492
God's daisy chain...
498
00:31:19,594 --> 00:31:23,994
And then you can go on to say that
twilight always makes you feel sad.
499
00:31:24,097 --> 00:31:27,197
- Why?
- That's precisely what she'll ask you.
500
00:31:27,299 --> 00:31:30,099
Then you'll have her. Your reply will be...
501
00:31:30,201 --> 00:31:33,301
that it's because yours
is such a lonely life.
502
00:31:33,404 --> 00:31:37,404
Give her a description of a typical
evening at home in Lincolnshire,
503
00:31:37,507 --> 00:31:40,307
intimating how you pace the meadows
with a heavy tread.
504
00:31:40,409 --> 00:31:42,809
l generally sit and listen to the wireless.
505
00:31:42,910 --> 00:31:46,210
No, you don't, Gussie. You pace
the meadows with a heavy tread,
506
00:31:46,313 --> 00:31:48,313
wishing someone was there to love you.
507
00:31:48,414 --> 00:31:53,814
After that, grab her by the hands, tell her
you've got something to say, and say it.
508
00:31:53,918 --> 00:31:58,218
- Better have a couple of quick ones first.
- Drinks, you mean? But l don't drink.
509
00:31:59,122 --> 00:32:00,822
- You don't drink?
- No.
510
00:32:00,923 --> 00:32:02,723
l didn't know that.
511
00:32:03,725 --> 00:32:08,825
Pity. Generally, a moderate skinful
on these occasions is of the essence.
512
00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:11,229
l suppose l could have
some orange juice.
513
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:16,032
Well, yes, if you think it would help.
lt might be a good idea
514
00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:19,734
- to heave a bit of a sigh at this point.
- Heave...sigh...
515
00:32:19,837 --> 00:32:22,737
Then grab her by the hand
and give her the works.
516
00:32:22,839 --> 00:32:25,439
Grab hand, give...
517
00:32:25,541 --> 00:32:28,341
- ..works.
- That's all there is to it.
518
00:32:28,443 --> 00:32:30,443
Thank you, Bertie.
519
00:32:31,745 --> 00:32:33,645
Ahem.
520
00:32:34,447 --> 00:32:36,347
Well, would you erm...?
521
00:32:37,149 --> 00:32:41,449
Uh, would you like some coffee...Angela?
522
00:32:43,253 --> 00:32:45,253
No, thank you, Mr Glossop.
523
00:32:51,259 --> 00:32:53,659
Hello, Angela. Hello, Tuppy.
524
00:32:59,965 --> 00:33:01,865
Yes...
525
00:33:05,669 --> 00:33:09,269
Ah, Jeeves, haven't seen Miss Bassett
around anywhere, have you?
526
00:33:09,372 --> 00:33:12,072
She is, l believe, sir, in the sewing room.
527
00:33:12,174 --> 00:33:14,974
- Sewing room...
- lf you'll allow me, sir.
528
00:33:15,076 --> 00:33:18,476
l trust your dinner plan
was a success, sir.
529
00:33:18,579 --> 00:33:22,179
Howling, Jeeves, as you'll no doubt
be surprised to hear.
530
00:33:22,281 --> 00:33:25,481
Tuppy and Miss Travers are reunited
in the drawing room.
531
00:33:25,584 --> 00:33:27,484
This is indeed good news, sir.
532
00:33:27,585 --> 00:33:32,085
lll-informed servants' hall gossip had it
that the cook, Anatole,
533
00:33:32,188 --> 00:33:34,088
had given his notice, sir.
534
00:33:34,190 --> 00:33:37,890
Yes, well, l'm not in a position
to comment on chitchat, Jeeves,
535
00:33:37,993 --> 00:33:41,693
but l suppose it's always
a possibility. Anatole is foreign, Jeeves.
536
00:33:41,795 --> 00:33:45,095
- Really, sir?
- And, therefore, excitable.
537
00:33:45,198 --> 00:33:47,198
l shall bear it in mind, sir.
538
00:33:49,901 --> 00:33:52,801
- The sewing room, sir.
- Thank you, Jeeves.
539
00:33:55,805 --> 00:33:59,305
Ah, Madeline, old thing, care for a stroll?
Jolly good.
540
00:34:00,409 --> 00:34:02,009
That dinner tonight...
541
00:34:03,211 --> 00:34:05,411
l couldn't eat any of it, of course.
542
00:34:05,512 --> 00:34:07,512
l felt far too upset.
543
00:34:09,815 --> 00:34:11,815
l don't suppose you noticed,
544
00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:15,517
but l actually pushed away
a whole plate of roast lamb.
545
00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:17,519
For God's sake!
546
00:34:20,023 --> 00:34:23,023
Oh, Bertie, what a beautiful night.
547
00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:25,925
- Rather!
- All the flowers have closed their eyes.
548
00:34:26,027 --> 00:34:30,127
- Really?
- And all the little stars have woken up.
549
00:34:31,030 --> 00:34:33,730
Oh, look, the little bunnies...
550
00:34:33,832 --> 00:34:35,832
How still they are.
551
00:34:35,934 --> 00:34:39,434
Yes, yes,
they are marvellously still, aren't they?
552
00:34:40,437 --> 00:34:43,537
Do you know, Madeline,
it's a funny old world.
553
00:34:43,639 --> 00:34:45,539
As a matter of fact...
554
00:34:45,641 --> 00:34:49,041
- Where are you going?
- l thought we were going for a walk.
555
00:34:49,143 --> 00:34:52,543
Oh, l... l thought we had.
556
00:34:54,247 --> 00:34:56,147
Oh, Bertie!
557
00:34:58,850 --> 00:35:00,750
Psst! Psst!
558
00:35:00,852 --> 00:35:02,952
Are you there, Gussie? Psssst!
559
00:35:04,654 --> 00:35:06,654
Psst! Gussie!
560
00:35:09,558 --> 00:35:11,958
What are you doing, Bertie?
561
00:35:12,060 --> 00:35:16,660
Er... l thought there was a snake or...
No, maybe not.
562
00:35:20,065 --> 00:35:23,965
l think old Mr Moon
is ever so shy, Bertie.
563
00:35:24,068 --> 00:35:26,568
He keeps hiding behind the clouds.
564
00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:28,670
Yes, he does, doesn't he?
565
00:35:28,772 --> 00:35:31,772
Now, Madeline, talking of being shy,
566
00:35:31,874 --> 00:35:35,374
you know, there's an aching heart
here at Brinkley Court.
567
00:35:35,476 --> 00:35:39,676
Ah, yes... Life is very sad, isn't it?
568
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,580
lt is for some people, yes.
Take this aching heart, for instance.
569
00:35:44,683 --> 00:35:48,483
This heart that l'm talking about
is aching like billyo.
570
00:35:48,586 --> 00:35:50,986
- You mean...for love?
- Problem is...
571
00:35:51,088 --> 00:35:54,088
can't quite bring itself
to tell you the posish.
572
00:35:54,190 --> 00:35:56,090
Just as it's about to give you the SP,
573
00:35:56,191 --> 00:35:59,591
it catches sight of you sideways
and words fail it.
574
00:35:59,694 --> 00:36:02,394
Silly, of course, but there it is.
575
00:36:02,496 --> 00:36:04,696
Don't say any more, Bertie.
576
00:36:04,797 --> 00:36:06,697
No. Right.
577
00:36:06,799 --> 00:36:09,499
l wasn't going to, actually.
That's about it.
578
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,501
l suspected this at Cannes,
579
00:36:11,602 --> 00:36:15,102
when you used to stand and stare
at me without saying a word,
580
00:36:15,205 --> 00:36:17,605
but with whole volumes in your eyes.
581
00:36:17,707 --> 00:36:19,507
- No!
- Yes!
582
00:36:20,709 --> 00:36:22,909
A girl always knows.
583
00:36:23,711 --> 00:36:25,711
Then you followed me down here,
584
00:36:25,812 --> 00:36:28,412
and there was that same, dumb,
585
00:36:28,514 --> 00:36:30,514
yearning look in your eyes.
586
00:36:30,616 --> 00:36:33,416
Now you stammer out
these halting words.
587
00:36:33,518 --> 00:36:36,718
No, it doesn't come as a surprise.
588
00:36:37,421 --> 00:36:42,121
But l'm sorry, Bertie,
but l'm afraid it's impossible.
589
00:36:43,825 --> 00:36:45,825
Oh, really?
590
00:36:45,927 --> 00:36:49,027
Oh, well, can't be helped. Oh, dear.
591
00:36:49,829 --> 00:36:52,929
Life is such a muddle, isn't it?
592
00:36:53,032 --> 00:36:57,232
Yes. Well, yes, l always say that.
Life is such a muddle, l say.
593
00:36:57,335 --> 00:37:00,535
Wait a minute,
do you mean there's someone else?
594
00:37:01,838 --> 00:37:05,538
But he doesn't care for me.
Well, at least, he hasn't said anything.
595
00:37:05,641 --> 00:37:09,041
You see, l was staying
with some friends in the country,
596
00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:11,043
and l'd gone for a walk with my dog,
597
00:37:11,145 --> 00:37:15,445
and the poor wee mite got
a nasty thorn in its little foot.
598
00:37:15,548 --> 00:37:17,548
And l didn't know what to do.
599
00:37:17,649 --> 00:37:21,349
And suddenly
this handsome man came along...
600
00:37:21,452 --> 00:37:23,252
Wow!
601
00:37:23,353 --> 00:37:26,453
- l beg your pardon?
- Nothing, nothing.
602
00:37:26,556 --> 00:37:31,356
l've just remembered, there's a letter
l must write tonight without fail.
603
00:37:31,459 --> 00:37:34,059
Good heavens,
there's Gussie Fink-Nottle!
604
00:37:36,263 --> 00:37:39,463
- Where?
- Over...there.
605
00:37:45,169 --> 00:37:47,369
Ah, yes, there he is.
606
00:37:48,571 --> 00:37:53,071
Yes, well, l think l'd better be going in.
Gussie will take care of you.
607
00:38:02,281 --> 00:38:04,281
Ah, Tuppy, l wanted to see you.
608
00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:07,983
- Oh, yes? Well, l'm here.
- Has Angela come clustering round?
609
00:38:08,085 --> 00:38:09,985
No, she has not.
610
00:38:10,087 --> 00:38:12,087
Oh. That's very odd.
611
00:38:12,188 --> 00:38:14,688
She must have noticed
your lack of appetite.
612
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:17,590
Lack of appetite!
l'm as hollow as the Grand Canyon.
613
00:38:17,692 --> 00:38:21,692
Be brave, Tuppy. Fix your thoughts on
that steak-and-kidney pie in the larder.
614
00:38:21,795 --> 00:38:25,895
You would bring that up, just as
l've managed to stop thinking about it.
615
00:38:25,998 --> 00:38:28,698
Why don't you just buzz off, Wooster!
616
00:38:31,602 --> 00:38:33,602
Right.
617
00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:40,107
Hello, Aunt Dahlia.
618
00:38:40,608 --> 00:38:43,708
How dare you show your face in here!
619
00:38:43,811 --> 00:38:47,611
Er, Aunt Dahlia, if l might say so,
you seem somewhat pipped.
620
00:38:47,714 --> 00:38:51,514
- Pipped!
- Stand fast, because pretty soon,
621
00:38:51,616 --> 00:38:54,816
Uncle Tom will be along
full of sympathy and anxious enquiry.
622
00:38:54,919 --> 00:38:58,519
- Do you know where my husband is?
- He was here at dinner.
623
00:38:58,621 --> 00:39:01,921
l know he was here at dinner,
you nincompoop!
624
00:39:02,024 --> 00:39:07,024
He is now in his study,
his face buried in his hands,
625
00:39:07,127 --> 00:39:10,427
groaning about civilisation.
626
00:39:10,530 --> 00:39:14,330
Any chance l had of getting
the money off him has now gone.
627
00:39:14,433 --> 00:39:18,133
- Eh? Why?
- Because Anatole has given notice.
628
00:39:18,235 --> 00:39:22,735
- What?
- Anatole has given notice!
629
00:39:22,839 --> 00:39:26,339
As a result of
one of your drivelling schemes.
630
00:39:26,441 --> 00:39:28,241
Good heavens...
631
00:39:28,343 --> 00:39:30,643
lt's no good saying ''good heavens''.
632
00:39:30,744 --> 00:39:35,044
Well, yes, you're upset,
and that's understandable, certainly.
633
00:39:35,147 --> 00:39:38,247
Certainly, this is a nasty jar
for one and all.
634
00:39:38,350 --> 00:39:43,250
The only nasty jar there is is the one
l'm going to put your remains in!
635
00:39:43,353 --> 00:39:47,453
Now, Aunt Dahlia, don't do anything
hasty, because l can fix everything.
636
00:39:47,556 --> 00:39:52,256
Don't you dare try
one of your lunatic schemes!
637
00:39:54,761 --> 00:39:56,761
Huh!
638
00:39:58,164 --> 00:40:03,164
(Yells)
639
00:40:10,973 --> 00:40:15,373
- Something amiss, Jeeves?
- Mr Fink-Nottle is feeling unwell, sir.
640
00:40:17,878 --> 00:40:19,778
Everybody's been very kind.
641
00:40:22,681 --> 00:40:24,581
No complaints to make.
642
00:40:25,483 --> 00:40:27,483
No complaints at all.
643
00:40:30,087 --> 00:40:32,087
l wish the world was a newt!
644
00:40:32,989 --> 00:40:37,289
But how could anything go wrong?
All he had to do was...propose.
645
00:40:37,392 --> 00:40:40,092
So one would be disposed
to imagine, sir.
646
00:40:40,194 --> 00:40:45,194
However, upon finding himself alone
with the young lady, he lost his nerve.
647
00:40:45,297 --> 00:40:48,797
ln such circumstances, gentlemen
frequently talk at random, sir,
648
00:40:48,900 --> 00:40:51,500
saying the first thing
that enters their head.
649
00:40:51,602 --> 00:40:54,902
This, in Mr Fink-Nottle's case,
would seem to have been the newt,
650
00:40:55,004 --> 00:40:57,304
its treatment in sickness and in health.
651
00:40:58,107 --> 00:41:00,507
- Bad, Jeeves.
- Yes, sir.
652
00:41:00,608 --> 00:41:02,808
How long did he go on
talking about newts?
653
00:41:02,910 --> 00:41:08,010
According to Mr Fink-Nottle, he supplied
very full and complete information, sir.
654
00:41:08,114 --> 00:41:10,014
Very bad, Jeeves.
655
00:41:10,115 --> 00:41:12,415
lndeed, sir.
656
00:41:13,918 --> 00:41:18,618
He was observing that newts differ from
salamanders in the shape of the tail,
657
00:41:18,721 --> 00:41:22,721
and a marked sexual dimorphism
prevails in most species,
658
00:41:22,824 --> 00:41:26,824
when the young lady rose and said she
thought she would go back to the house.
659
00:41:26,927 --> 00:41:29,827
- And then?
- She went, sir.
660
00:41:29,929 --> 00:41:32,629
- Oh... Difficult, Jeeves.
- Yes, sir.
661
00:41:32,731 --> 00:41:36,431
l shall have to burnish the brain
to see if l can't find a way out of this.
662
00:41:36,534 --> 00:41:39,934
l'm sure Mr Fink-Nottle
will be most grateful, sir.
663
00:41:41,938 --> 00:41:45,538
- Will that be all, sir?
- Yes, thank you, Jeeves, yes.
664
00:41:48,543 --> 00:41:52,043
One moment my fine chap, Mrs Travers.
665
00:41:52,145 --> 00:41:55,045
l can take a few smooths
with the rough, is true,
666
00:41:55,147 --> 00:41:58,247
but you do not play larks against me
on my food!
667
00:41:58,350 --> 00:42:03,250
l do not remain no longer in this house.
No, no, l buzz off
668
00:42:03,353 --> 00:42:05,253
and do not stay planted.
669
00:42:06,555 --> 00:42:09,455
l make matter of principle.
670
00:42:09,758 --> 00:42:11,558
(Groans)
671
00:42:17,763 --> 00:42:19,663
(Stomach rumbles)
672
00:42:51,287 --> 00:42:53,187
(Floorboard creaks)
673
00:42:54,990 --> 00:42:57,190
(Creaking)
674
00:43:03,396 --> 00:43:05,296
(Stomach rumbles)
675
00:43:31,916 --> 00:43:34,916
Oh, ze English!
Animals for ze food, huh?
676
00:43:36,019 --> 00:43:39,619
Curse of my lives, ze English.
l will tell them.
677
00:43:40,322 --> 00:43:43,622
Non, non, non!
l do not remember my knives!
678
00:45:01,981 --> 00:45:03,881
(Floorboard creaks)
679
00:45:03,982 --> 00:45:06,182
(Snores)
680
00:45:42,309 --> 00:45:44,809
- Aaargh!
- Aaargh!
681
00:45:48,114 --> 00:45:51,214
(Screaming)
682
00:45:54,118 --> 00:45:56,618
He's gone mad!
683
00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,020
He's gone mad! Anatole has gone mad!
684
00:46:01,423 --> 00:46:04,623
Mr Glossop, what are you doing?
685
00:46:04,725 --> 00:46:09,025
l should have told you, Mama,
Mr Glossop likes to have a few meals
686
00:46:09,129 --> 00:46:11,929
during the night.
lt keeps him going till breakfast!
687
00:46:12,031 --> 00:46:14,131
(Grunts)
688
00:46:14,232 --> 00:46:18,632
l no crazy, Mrs Travers. You be
nice-nice to Anatole, Anatole be...
689
00:46:18,735 --> 00:46:21,735
You just drop those knives, Anatole.
690
00:46:25,340 --> 00:46:27,940
And what are you doing with that gun,
Tom Travers?
691
00:46:28,042 --> 00:46:30,042
Nothing, my dear.
692
00:46:33,546 --> 00:46:35,446
(Screaming)
693
00:46:43,753 --> 00:46:46,153
Zis is ze end.
694
00:46:46,255 --> 00:46:49,755
Anatole, he is definitely dead!
695
00:46:54,961 --> 00:46:58,661
This is all your fault, Wooster.
696
00:46:58,764 --> 00:47:00,664
Me?
697
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:04,667
What... What have l done?
698
00:47:05,969 --> 00:47:07,869
Jeeves...
699
00:47:08,571 --> 00:47:11,471
Pack Mr Wooster's bags.
700
00:47:11,521 --> 00:47:16,071
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