Original subtitles

‐ Hey, it's your good friend Sarah,

and I gotta admit, I did it all for the nookie.

Okay, the midterms are just three weeks away,

so let's talk about how some Republican politicians

are planning to win: by cheating!

I'm talking about voter suppression.

Things like closing polling places,

purging names from voter rolls, and requiring photo ID,

which, by the way, you do not need to purchase, say, a gun.

The flashpoint for voter suppression

is this year's gubernatorial election in Georgia,

where Democrat Stacey Abrams is running to become

the first black female governor in American history.

In American history? That's not just Georgia?

Oh, my God.

This country's dogshit.

Okay.

Unfortunately for democracy, her opponent

is family man and snot weasel Brian Kemp.

‐ Brian Kemp is not only the Republican

gubernatorial nominee, he's Georgia's

secretary of state, and now civil rights groups

are suing him, claiming that Kemp's office

put more than 53,000 voter registrations on hold.

An analysis by the Associated Press

shows that nearly 70% of those voter registrations

are those belonging to African Americans.

‐ The guy running against Stacey Abrams

is in charge of the election?

That's like if Lance Armstrong was in charge

of testing his own piss.

That's like if Les Moonves was one of the founders

of Hollywood's official commission

on sexual harassment.

He was?!

Jesus.

Kemp is engineering his own victory.

See, Republicans can't directly pass a law

saying people of color can't vote.

We're about two years away from that

if things don't turn around.

But what they can do is invent new loopholes

that effectively prevent people of color from voting.

Republicans are experts at loopholes.

They use concerns of voter fraud to commit voter fraud.

They figure out how to make millions

and then pay no federal taxes on it.

They're the ones who figured out that you can

still call yourself a virgin if you only have anal.

They're the kings of loopholes.

And poop holes.

All right, just listen. Get out there and vote.

Be ready. Make sure you're registered.

Don't be discouraged by long lines.

Bring your phone to the polls,

and if they try to pull anything,

record that shit.

I don't know, is that creepy?

I guess we're recording this shit.

Vote for Stacey Abrams.

Peace.

[Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays]

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ Shave it off, stay alive, open wide ♪

♪ Show us how to conquer first and then divide ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Don't know if we're stayin' long, stayin' long ♪

♪ Used to staying weak ♪

♪ And now we're staying strong ♪

♪ We don't wanna go where we do not belong ♪

♪ Lonely as the day is long, day is long ♪

[cheers and applause]

You guys are gorgeous.

Hi, everybody. Hi, everyone at home.

Are you enjoying the autumn so far?

Can you believe this foliage?

Red, pink, blue, black‐‐ I don't know, I didn't look.

Anyway, today, I'm gonna talk about

the absence of color

in the form of white feminism.

Let me take you back to January 21st, 2017.

The Women's March.

After such a brutal election,

this March restored my soul.

It was moving. It was fortifying.

It felt like unity.

But in the following days,

I started seeing a hashtag

that really harshed my mellow.

In the reverie of the Women's March,

women of color were posting disapproving tweets

with the hashtag "whitefeminism."

And my knee‐jerk reaction was to get upset.

How dare these tweets put a damper on my nice little day?

This declaration of separation between white feminists

and feminists of color felt so frustrating,

and it made me defensive, indignant, even.

I remember I was sitting with my sister, Jodyne,

and I was like, "What the fuck? I mean, Jews were side by side

"with their black brothers and sisters in the front lines

of the civil rights movement."

And Jodyne was like, "Uh, yeah,

maybe we should've been, like, in the third row."

[laughter]

And I was like, "Whoa, fuck."

Like, it really stopped me in my tracks.

And then I mentioned that to my friend Lizz Winstead,

and she was like, "Yes, exactly.

"Sometimes, being a feminist is setting up the chairs

"and making sure there's coffee and being behind the scenes

for events where women of color are speaking."

And I thought, "Fuck, right."

You know, sometimes, our part is not to be the voice

but to plug in the amps.

And for those of you at home calling me a hypocrite

because I'm up here saying, "White women should take

a back seat," while I'm starring

in my own monologue about it,

you are‐‐you're right.

Congratulations, I'm embarrassed.

I'm obnoxious.

And yet I persist.

[laughter]

That was supposed to be obnoxious, though.

[applause]

So I went back to Twitter, I clicked on the hashtag,

and I read, and I read, and I read,

and, well, egg on my white face:

I realized my reaction of frustration

was to their reaction of frustration.

The difference was that mine was about ego

and theirs was because women of color

have been protesting this same shit thanklessly

for generations.

[applause]

Now suddenly a bunch of white women

took one Uber downtown, bought a pussy hat,

and got all the credit.

[cheers and applause]

And quick sidebar, I'm talking to myself on this.

I am a white woman.

I experience white privilege.

I mean, yes, I'm Jewish, keep it down, but...

you can't always tell if someone's Jewish, you know?

I mean, I can.

[laughter]

Have a nice Seder, "ScarJo."

I can smell the knish on your breath, "Gwyneth."

Shanah Tovah, "Fran Lebowitz."

[laughter]

I'm just saying, when's the last time

you heard of someone getting shot by cops for being Jewish?

Oops, I mean in America.

Oops, I mean at the time of this recording.

[laughter]

Okay, so, what is white feminism?

Well, right off the bat, you know it's bad

because it has the word "white" in front of it.

"White" plus noun is never good:

white power, white privilege,

white pride, White House, white bread.

[laughter]

Goes straight to my labia.

That's where I gain‐‐

that's where I gain all my weight.

A moment on the lips, forever on the lips.

[laughter]

But white feminism is a feminism

that focuses on white women without acknowledging

the experiences of the more marginalized types

of womanhood: LGBTQ women, women of color.

And by the way, this isn't knowledge

that just dropped from the heavens into my brain.

I learned it from reading other people's shit.

People like Roxane Gay or Rachel Cargle.

You know, you should follow them on social media.

They're amazing.

And while you're at it, follow me too.

I'm trying to be an influencer.

[laughter and applause]

To start undoing white feminism,

the first step is acceptance.

In the 2016 election,

53% of white women voted for Trump.

A man who sexually assaults women.

A man who said women who get abortions should be punished.

A man who separates children

from their mothers at the border.

In other words, 53% of white women

sold out their gender to protect their race.

White women, admit it.

Sometimes, we're horrible.

We're like‐‐we're the white men of women.

[laughter]

And I know some of you are thinking,

"Well, white women are oppressed too."

First off, calm down, Sharon.

We get it, okay?

Yes, we‐‐we're more oppressed than white men, yes,

but we still have power, and, in general,

we are not using it for good, because, again,

over half of white women voted for Trump.

God, that is just such a downer.

I need, like, a more fun statistic.

Did you know that termites eat wood

two times faster when listening to rock 'n' roll music?

Okay, sorry.

I needed that palate cleanser.

Okay.

Let's look at the way white women talk about the wage gap.

And they talk about it a lot,

because white women love the Gap.

[growing laughter]

Was that a thinker? But...

[laughter]

But the pay gap affects different women differently.

The stat you always hear is that women make

80¢ on the dollar, but hi, that's just white women.

Look at this.

So here we go.

White women, 80¢ on the dollar.

Abhorrent.

Then we have black women.

They make 63¢ on the dollar.

What's worse than abhorrent?

Really abhorrent.

Latinas make 54¢ on the dollar.

That's fucking bullshit.

And by the way, indigenous women make

57¢ on the dollar, and that's especially fucked up

because Sacagawea is the dollar coin.

[laughter]

I'm sorry, I'm getting sidetracked.

Let's get back to what's important, white women.

[laughter]

Look, I had a shitty, knee‐jerk reaction

when I first saw the hashtag "whitefeminism,"

but being open to change is my best quality.

That and my swanlike neck. And my skin.

And my face. My face is my fortune.

[laughter]

So, white women,

let's be aware of our unearned privilege

and use it to raise up those whose voices need to be heard.

And we can all be aware that, you know,

no matter how hard it is for me, it's harder for you,

and no matter how hard it is for you,

it is harder for someone else.

Feminism without women of color isn't feminism.

It's just a sale at Lululemon.

[laughter]

So here's the moral of my white feminism story.

Don't be offended if someone points out your ignorance.

When someone tells you you have a huge chive

between your teeth, your reaction

shouldn't be, "No, I don't!"

They're trying to help you.

So instead of getting defensive,

go to the bathroom, look in the mirror,

and get that shit out.

White feminism is a chive in your teeth.

Look at yourself, and fucking fix it.

[cheers and applause]

And speaking of gross stuff you want to get rid of,

I spoke with President Donald Trump

in part two of our three‐part interview.

Check it out.

[dramatic music]

What is your election strategy for 2020?

‐ My big strategy is, local police forces

have been armed and militarized,

and once I give the go command,

we're gonna have them swarm the polls

to make sure the right people‐‐

the right people, the white people‐‐vote.

Then we'll have a proper election,

but if it's stolen, which would mean I'd lose,

then we'll have to activate a martial plan‐‐

and I say martial law,

because we need to do it the right way‐‐

and then I stay in,

or until Ivanka takes over,

or whatever needs to happen.

‐ Are you farting right now?

‐ I thought you wouldn't be able to tell,

but I make a push face.

SARAH: You do make a push face.

‐ I'm done. SARAH: Okay.

Do you know any immigrants?

‐ Melania, my wife... ‐ Yeah.

TRUMP: She was an immigrant.

I had to make the deal to be with her.

We had to buy citizenship.

She said, "Listen. I want my parents too."

I was like, "Jesus. Are you kidding me?"

What‐‐what is this? "Family Matters"?

I'm gonna live with my parents?

I love "Family Matters," though,

because I love the big, fat cop guy.

The dad, because he was in "Die Hard,"

and I always said, "Whoa, that guy's in 'Die Hard,'

and now he's a retired cop in Chicago!"

"Die Hard" lives in the world of "Family Matters,"

which means that Balki and Cousin Larry

are also in the "Die Hard" world,

and I thought that was great.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

‐ Dinner. It's America's most popular evening meal.

So I had it in Wyoming

with a family of conservative Republicans.

We talked, and they fed me, and it was nice.

See? Look.

I'm in Fort Bridger, Wyoming,

to have dinner with a family of conservative Republicans.

They're devout Mormons, and they're here

at their 30,000‐acre cattle ranch,

which has been in their family for generations.

We're gonna get to the bottom of their views on Trump.

Then maybe I'll pet some cows,

milk a teat‐‐who knows?

Oh, my gosh!

Hi, everybody!

I brought gifts. Hi, I'm Sarah.

My hosts are the Michelis.

There's Matt and Ashby.

Matt is a former chairman

of the Wyoming Republican Party

who's now a partner at law.

"I brake for nuanced political discourse

with Hollywood liberals."

[laughter]

Then there's Ashby.

Ashby trains horses.

She's a tough nut to crack, but I love a challenge.

Matt's brother Frank works at a big oil company

as a drill engineer,

so in other words, he does fracking.

He's married to Michelle.

The couples have three kids each,

who are about to see some real Silverman classics.

Here, you'll be‐‐ow!

You're too strong! Okay.

Will you be gentle this time?

Okay.

Ow! You're still too strong.

Come here a second.

Just the girls.

I'm a princess...

but I dress regular so people don't treat me differently.

[laughter]

Keep it kind of between us, okay?

All right. Great. Break.

‐ Hey, what'd she say?

‐ Can I ask questions about being Mormon?

Only because I don't really know,

besides seeing the musical.

‐ Well, that's a documentary, right?

‐ Right, that's a documentary written by Mormons.

I know that, at 19, you do your mission.

‐ I went to Chile. Southern Chile.

‐ I've always wanted to go to Chile.

‐ It's wonderful.

‐ I went to Moscow, Russia.

‐ Really? Did you know anything about it?

‐ No, I mean, I grew up here, right, in this,

a town of 150 people.

‐ How'd you not drink vodka?

Isn't that illegal? MAN: [laughs]

‐ Every place we went tried to get us to drink vodka.

‐ Yeah, that's like their vitamin C there.

[laughter]

‐ Where did Ashby go? ‐ To Florida.

‐ ♪ Orlando ♪

That's‐‐sorry.

‐ Girls do what they want.

‐ And guys have to go.

‐ What is not being said?

[laughter]

‐ I feel like you're trying to communicate to me

with your eyes; you were like...

[laughter]

‐ Tell me about Wyoming and living here

and your life here.

‐ I do horses.

Training horses, ride horses.

We just had our county fair.

‐ That's so cool.

‐ What I do‐‐ I'm a petroleum engineer,

which is‐‐you've heard of fracking.

SARAH: Yes.

All I know of what fracking is,

is you, like, push liquid

in incredible pressure into, like, subterranean rocks,

and then that pressure forces the, like, gas and oil

to come in through, like, fissures

in the rock or something?

And then you gather it?

Is that even close?

FRANK: It's not bad. ‐ I read on the toilet.

‐ Yeah.

‐ It's actually safe and clean,

but if there is a leak, it could ruin groundwater,

and water is how we all stay alive.

‐ Every energy source has risk.

‐ Well, wind and solar doesn't.

‐ How many birds do you think die from those?

We support wind too, but...

‐ You guys shoot birds.

‐ I know, I'm just saying!

‐ Let's not be disingenuous here.

You're a lawyer for the environment, right?

‐ Right.

‐ But are you a good witch or a bad witch?

‐ I've been a lawyer for 16 years.

I've never had any client

want to do anything other than what's best

for the environment and what's best for the company.

I've never even had that conversation.

‐ Best for what company?

‐ Well, what's best for the country,

is what I meant to say, best for the‐‐

‐ Ah. That is a Freudian‐‐ that is a slip

that has so much truth in it.

‐ No, but‐‐ SARAH: I mean, for a country

that very much is a slave to oil.

‐ We need oil for our way of life.

That's just a fact. We need fracking.

‐ Until we figure out another option.

‐ Until we‐‐right now, today, we can't stop.

SARAH: I probably should have challenged him more,

but I was so hungry.

What store do you buy a bowl that big?

[laughter]

‐ That's one good thing about being a Mormon

is you get everything in bulk with the kids, you know?

‐ That is true.

I forgot to have children.

[laughter]

You'll be my child.

‐ Okay.

SARAH: Can we get real?

I mean, like we were in the kitchen.

I'm not getting realer.

How are you feeling about Trump?

Do you all agree about your feelings about Trump?

About the administration now, about...

‐ So I'm not a big fan of...

the antics, or personality.

The tweets and that aspect. I'm not a fan of that.

MICHELLE: We'll all agree with that.

No, the only thing that, like, I always get offended is,

is when they ask me how I feel as a woman.

Like, why did I not vote for Hillary, as a woman?

‐ I got that pressure, too, as someone who loved Bernie.

‐ As an American, why I didn't vote for her

is different policies, you know?

‐ Right. ‐ Liberals don't understand.

I don't care about Russia collusion.

SARAH: You don't care about‐‐ ‐ Conspiracy theories.

Like, I don't care about the email server.

‐ Right. ‐ Those aren't important,

critical issues to me.

‐ But a foreign government has

meddled in the American election.

‐ That's not the deciding factor for who I vote for.

It's philosophy.

‐ I think liberals believe, you give money

to the government, and they'll do good with it.

Conservatives believe

there's things that the government has to do,

but on the whole, government's gonna

be really inefficient with that money,

they're gonna waste it, and there are better ways‐‐

there's better things that that money could be doing.

‐ Are you guys members of the NRA?

‐ No, none of us are.

‐ I know that you like guns

for pleasure or whatever,

but what are your feelings on,

like, gun regulation of any kind?

‐ I don't think gun restrictions help,

because there's so many guns in our country

that, like, if you're a criminal,

you're not gonna say, "Oh, there's a law

that says I can't have a gun."

‐ I would say, like, why do we have guns of war

that are available for citizens?

Like AR‐15s, but then other people have said,

"Yeah, we hunt with AR‐15s."

And then I'm like, "Do you fish with dynamite?"

'Cause that doesn't sound like a sport at all.

I talk a lot about gun regulations

and the damage of guns, but the truth is,

when I'm watching "Walking Dead,"

I'm like, "Get the guns!"

[laughter]

‐ There's studies that show

when the zombie apocalypse comes,

Wyoming's the best place to be.

SARAH: Of course it is!

MATT: It's gotta be, right?

‐ First of all, they have tons of cattle to eat at first.

The cattle aren't gonna become zombies,

unless that's a whole new genre,

which I just thought of,

and I'm copyrighting it right now.

‐ For us, guns are a recreational tool

to just have fun, I guess‐‐ you know, go hunting.

‐ Cole, if guns are so great,

why don't you show me how to shoot one?

‐ Let's go right now. SARAH: All right. Let's do it.

Clear my plate. ‐ Yeah.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

SARAH: I'm obviously not a big gun lady,

but in the spirit of adventure,

I let the Michelis take me out for a shooting lesson.

I really don't get the appeal, but I'll give it a try.

I feel alive!

♪ ♪

All right.

What do you want me to get?

The apple? A can?

‐ Let's go for the apple on top of the can.

‐ [scoffs]

[gunshot]

‐ Ooh, you got it.

[funky music]

[gunshot fires]

‐ Oh, my God!

That was terrifying.

[sighs, sniffs]

[in deep voice] Smells like freedom.

In a time where there's not a lot

of consideration for nuance,

I find it really hard to categorize the Michelis.

Do I think that they're possibly ignoring

some inconvenient truths?

Yeah, I do.

Did I try to take them to task? I did.

Did they take me to task?

They did.

Did I enjoy firing that gun?

Fuck, yes.

I mean, don't tell anybody.

FRANK: I don't think we changed each other's minds.

We both are pretty solid in our beliefs.

SOPHI: She's really genuine,

and she's, like, more than just a comedian,

more than just a Democrat,

but a person with different viewpoints

who's super kind.

‐ We learned a lot of things today.

Different people from different backgrounds

come together just to be in conversation.

‐ Bye! Thank you so much. ALL: Bye!

‐ Make America great! Whoo!

[cow lowing]

[cheers and applause]

‐ My guest tonight is a Presidential

Medal of Freedom winner and the president

of the Dolores Huerta Foundation.

She cofounded the United Farm Workers

of America with Cesar Chavez.

Please go apeshit for Dolores Huerta.

[cheers and applause]

So, Dolores,

you were a teacher before you became an organizer.

What was that moment of change for you?

‐ A couple of things.

Once, when I was actually doing voter registration,

going door to door,

and I came to the house of a farmworker family,

it had a dirt floor,

orange crates,

and cardboard boxes for furniture,

children that were threadbare,

and I thought, "This is so wrong."

'Cause these people work so hard

to put the food on our table.

And then, as a teacher, having to beg my principal

to get a voucher for shoes, to get a free lunch,

to get milk for these kids,

and having to argue my case, and I thought,

"I can do more by organizing their parents

than by trying to teach their hungry children."

[applause]

‐ You, of course, coined the phrase

"sí, se puede," which was then stolen

by our last great president.

Take a look.

‐ And, on a personal note, Dolores was very gracious

when I told her I had stolen her slogan,

"Sí, se puede,"

"Yes, we can."

[laughter]

Knowing her, I'm pleased that she let me off easy,

'cause Dolores does not play.

‐ All right, so are you okay

with this guy appropriating that?

‐ Well, he won.

[laughs]

So that was worth it.

[cheers and applause]

‐ You have been arrested over 20 times.

You've been beaten within an inch of your life

by a police officer in San Francisco.

What drives you to keep going?

‐ Well, we know we have a lot of people out there

that are apathetic, that are not engaged,

and we know that in order to really create a better world

for all of us, that we've all gotta get involved.

And so I believe that when you're an organizer,

and you're out there and getting people

to come out of their shells,

making them understand that the world needs them.

Especially women.

And that we've gotta get out there

and we've gotta do our bit,

especially when it comes to voting.

‐ And is that‐‐ what are you focusing on now?

‐ Well, we have two issues.

One of them is of course the elections.

We want to get everybody to get out there and register to vote.

The other is in stopping the school‐to‐prison pipeline,

because there are so many of our African American

and Latino students that are being pushed out,

expelled out of school,

and police are called into the school.

A large part of the school budget

is going to police departments.

And these kids, right away, they get a record,

and we've gotta stop this.

It's horrendous.

And I like to quote Coretta Scott King.

Coretta Scott King said, "We will never have peace

in the world until women take power."

[applause] And...

But I‐I do like to amend that statement by saying

we will never have peace in the world

until feminists take power. SARAH: Yeah.

‐ Because there is a difference.

[applause]

‐ The United Farm Workers was one of the first groups

to promote intersectionality.

For people who don't know...

what is intersectionality, and why is it important?

‐ I think that basically just means

that all of us kind of have to come together.

We've gotta merge our movements,

the Me Too movement,

the Black Lives Matter movement,

the young people that are trying to stop

the gun violence in our country.

Our LGBT movement.

Our labor movement.

Our immigrant rights movement.

We've all gotta come together and work together,

because the issues that we are facing

are so challenging and they're so huge

that the only way that we can overcome

is if we all help each other out on our issue,

and I forgot to include the environment,

which we know is so important because if our planet dies,

you know, then our future generations

are not going to be able to live on Mother Earth.

‐ I guess if the planet dies, we don't have to worry

as much about the other issues.

‐ That's right. [laughs]

Right. That's true.

‐ What would you say to someone who wants to make change,

who wants to get involved,

but doesn't know where to start?

‐ Well, I think one good way is to‐‐

election time is right now.

You know, we have November. Join a campaign.

We have a lot of great women that are running

and a lot of progressive candidates.

You know, come and volunteer.

Call people to come out to vote.

There's a lot of organizations out there,

environmental organizations, women's groups,

immigrant rights groups, labor organizations,

that need people to come and help them.

Volunteering, believe me, is the best way to learn

not only how to organize but also

the political landscape and how to change the world,

and many of the organizations that I've worked for

for many, many years, I was a volunteer

for maybe six or seven years

before I ever got hired to do anything.

‐ Yeah, that's amazing, and I think volunteering

teaches you what your worth is.

I think so many people don't understand their own power.

‐ And also, I think for women, it also helps us

to overcome our inhibitions, and because when you're‐‐

‐ That and a little bit of pot.

DOLORES: [laughs]

Well, I don't know

if that might make somebody more sleepy.

[laughter]

‐ You got anything else you want to say to us?

‐ Yes, I would like to ask the audience

and kind of challenge them for a quick minute.

‐ Okay.

‐ [laughs]

Okay, so,

this is a very simple question

that I want to ask the audience.

And please don't answer until I tell you when, okay?

The question is, who's got the power?

And I want you to say, "We've got the power."

And when I say, what kind of power?

I want you to say, "People power."

Can we do that? ALL: Yes.

‐ But could you shout it loud?

Is it okay if they shout loud?

‐ Uh‐huh. ‐ Okay. You got permission.

And we want to do this so loud

that the neo‐Nazis and the alt‐right,

the misogynists, the homophobes, the bigots,

all those haters, they can hear us, all right?

Can we do that? Okay.

So let's‐‐okay, let's go.

Very, very loud.

Who's got the power?

ALL: We've got the power!

‐ What kind of power?

ALL: People power!

‐ All right.

Oh, now we can say,

"Are we gonna go out there and organize

and campaign and vote?"

What do we say?

Can we say it in Spanish?

Sí, se puede.

Okay, let's do it with an organized hand clap,

'cause we have to be organized.

Okay, let's go.

ALL: Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede.

Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede.

[chanting] Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede.

‐ Heck, yes.

Thank you all.

[cheers and applause]

‐ Dolores, thank you. Thank you.

Amazing.

My thanks to Dolores Huerta

and Anthony Atamanuik, who you can see in his special,

"The President Show Documentary,"

this Monday at 11:00 on Comedy Central.

Wow, what a great show.

I really don't think we can top it.

I guess tune in next week

for, like, a slightly shittier episode?

Good night, America.

I lurve you.

[cheers and applause]

[Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays]

♪ ♪

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