All language subtitles for I Love You America s01e02 DeRay Mckessson.eng

? Shave it off,
stay alive, open wide ?

? Show us how to conquer first
and then divide ?

? Don't know if we're
stayin' long, stayin' long ?

? Used to staying weak ?

? And now we're staying strong ?

? We don't wanna go
where we do not belong ?

? Lonely as the day is long,
day is long ?

Hey, it's my buddy and yours,

Sarah Silverman!

- Hi!

Welcome.

Hi, everybody, welcome.

Another show, another opening.

Okay, so today we're gonna get
some life advice from my dad,

I'm gonna find common ground

in one of the reddest
counties in Texas,

I'll interview the brilliant
DeRay Mckesson,

and, of course, we'll end
the show with a prayer.

But first,
before we get started,

you remember this guy.

He's our special
security blanket.

The white man at a desk, Mather!

- Sarah!

- Isn't he great?
If you weren't here last week,

what it is is we go to Mather

if the show gets to be
a little much

and we need that
reassuring comfort

of a traditional
late-night talk show host.

So, say we're mid-show
and, uh...

I'm talking about a...

like a cummy seahorse
with floppy pussy lips.

We have Mather.

- Um, so... that just happened.

- Brings us back to normalcy.
It's good, right?

It's like I never just said
"floppy pussy lips."

In fact, you know what?

I'm gonna go ahead
and claim I never did.

I never said floppy pussy lips,

and frankly, I'm disgusted
by the accusation.

Yeah. That's good.

That's the point of this
monologue really, uh...

it's that we don't know
what is true anymore.

The truth has become,
like, subjective.

I mean, remember when truth
was facts?

Wasn't that fun?

How are we gonna heal
this divided country

if we can't even agree on
what is true?

It's--it's the Red Sox
and the Yankees, right?

If you're from Boston,

even if the Yankees had the
best record in all of baseball,

your truth is that
the Yankees suck.

Which is true.
They fucking suck, right?

But, hey, a Red Sox fan
is just a Yankees fan

who happened to be born
in Boston.

Make no mistake.
It is location-based.

It's teams, and that's
what it's supposed to be.

It's sports, that's fine.
It's adorable.

But that same kind
of blind allegiance

has infiltrated our government.

It--it's party over country--
it's party over everything.

It's party over
tenets of your own party.

Right? I mean, Obama
did stuff in his presidency

that should have had
Republicans jizzing rainbows.

Truly.

He fucking murdered
Osama bin Laden.

Yeah.

He took out several known
terrorists with drones.

And I didn't even know this
until about a month ago,

but it turns out
he deported more immigrants

than any other president.

Now, that's something
for me to reconcile.

I don't know
how I feel about it,

but I sure as hell know

how Republicans
should feel about it.

They should be creaming
their khakis.

But no.

They still say Obama was weak
on terror and immigration

because they're the Red Sox
and Obama was the Yankees

and there's nothing
a Yankee can do

that the Red Sox won't hate,
and that is that.

People cling to the truths
that they know.

And that's because,
you know, changing your mind

can feel scary.

But you've all done it,
you know?

Remember when you believed
in Santa Claus

and then one day you didn't
believe in Santa Claus anymore?

You did great. You did!

You got new information,
and you let it change you.

Or remember 20 years ago when
we were all walking around

like, "Princess Diana's
totally alive."

You could never say that today.

There was even a time
when I believed

that I would go blind
if I masturbated,

which, of course,
I have since disproved

time and time and time

and time and time again.
Furiously.

- Too fast, too furious!

- Even the happiest people
masturbate furiously,

I would say, and that is a fact.

That's a fact.

Opening up to change is scary.

It's so scary
that people will use

the lamest excuses to avoid it.

They'll say, uh, "I'm too old,"

or "It's how I was raised,"

or, "I'm blind
due to masturbation."

Or the classic--
"It's God's will."

- God?

Thought maybe
I could help you out

with some absolute truths.

- Yes! Amazing! Yes, please!

13 billion years ago,

I created the universe

in a vast cosmos
of space and time.

Your planet is one of trillions.

- God, we're so tiny
and insignificant,

and yet you still care about us.

Of course. I care about

how you treat each other,

your purity of heart,
your kindness,

and I will send you to Hell
for eternity

if you murder...

Steal...

Do guy-on-guy butt sex...

- Wait. What?

Covet thy-- Wha--What?

- That's true? You really put
people in Hell for eternity

if they put their penis
in an anus?

Mm-hmm.

- Are you serious?
I cannot believe that you--

Sarah! Take a chill pill.

I'm kidding.
I created gay people.

- Oh. Phew!

Ah... you got me!

You're a real son of a gun, God.

Ah, call me Allah.

- Okay, Allah.

Oh! Allah!

Oh! Allah!

Well, well, well, hey, everyone

frantically typing emails
about how I'm once again

disrespecting the Christian God,

guess what, motherfuckers--

- Ah-ah-ahem!
Uh, we here at the show

would like to apologize

for the blasphemous comments
and language

Sarah used just a few moments
ago regarding religion.

That is just not
what our show is about.

- Uh, yeah, it is, trust me.
This is my show.

Mather is just a soap-selling
trope that I made up.

I know what this show is.

- How dare you?

You don't know me, ma'am.

- Oh, really, I don't?
I created you.

I wrote your last line.

I write all the dumb shit
you say.

Well, then I guess I'm
just a puppet on a string.

Cummy seahorse.

Come here!

See the horse!

- Aw, now I feel bad.

Mather, I'm sorry.

Look, you're great.

You serve such an important
role on the show.

- I need ya.
- -

- Hey, I know.
We've got a video to throw to,

the one with my dad.
Why don't you introduce it?

- Do I have a choice? I mean--

- Of course, you do.

Come on, buddy.

This is what you do.

-

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we've got some words of wisdom

from Sarah's dad,
Donald Silverman,

in a segment we call
Poolside with Schleppy.

Let's take a look!

- Hi, Sarah. Hi, gang.

I'm happy to be here.

Somewhat.

What would you warn
someone about

who's about to have
their first child?

- Start with your second.

Why do people hate Jews?

I hate some Jews,
but not because they're Jewish.

Um, because they're from
New York and they're pushy.

Kyle.

Oh, Carl?

After you die,
I think it's the same

as what I recall
before I was born.

And I don't recall a fucking
thing before I was born.

Ooh.

How do you think
the universe was created?

- Compared to my existence
right here

with my four daughters
and my wife

and my five grandchildren,
a couple friends,

who gives a shit
where the universe came?

It's here.

What a stupid fucking question.

Love the shit out of them,

and try--
just try to do your best.

And never put them down,

which, in Sarah's case, is, ha,

a difficult thing not to do,
'cause she's so bad.

What do you think
the meaning of life is?

- The meaning of life is:

It beats the shit out of me.

Good-bye. It's been wonderful
chatting with you.

I have to be going now.

- Look at him go!
We'll be right back.

- Thank you so much.
Welcome back.

You know, one of my goals
on this show

is to find something in common

with people outside
my little bubble.

And this week I'm headed
to a random city in America

to do just that.
Now, I wanna be spontaneous,

so to decide where to go,

I'm gonna throw this dart
at a map

and see where fate takes me.

Totally random city in America.

Here we go!

I'm in Mineola, Texas,
the mini-areola of Texas.

Where 87% of the people
voted for Trump.

I'm here to meet the locals,

and see if we can find
some common ground

and undivide ourselves.

Thank you for having me.

You guys are firemen.

Do you guys all own guns?

- Yes. - Yes.

- You're not feeling, like,

a stand-your-groundiness
with me right now,

are you? - No.

- No. - No, not by any means.

-

Obvious question:

Who did you vote for and why?

- I voted for Trump. Why?

I just knew that it was
somebody different

than what we've had before.

- And you voted for Trump,
right?

- Trump.
- What did you like about him?

- Obviously, he's done well
business-wise.

- Gay marriage-- who's for it?

Interesting. Interesting.

You guys--not for it. Go on.

- Not something I...

really care one way or another.

That's what--
what happens happens.

- Then you are for it.

- I'm not for or against it.

Doesn't matter to me.

- How 'bout you, doll?

- Not for it or against it.
Uh...

Haven't... got a horse
in that race,

uh, so to speak.

- Would you...

speak out for somebody's right

to get married if they're gay?

- Uh, I don't know
that I'd speak out,

as I've sat here quietly
through most of this.

- Doesn't affect
your own sexuality.

- No, it does not.

- In any way.
- No, not in any way.

- So who gives a fuck?

- The people that are doing

whatever they're doing,
they have to answer to

their higher power, whatever
they think that may be.

- If Jesus came back... - Yeah?

- Because he's coming back.

Do you think you would believe
him that he was Jesus?

- If you believe in it,
you'll know.

- You think you'll know?
- I will know.

- I'm Jesus. - No, you're not.

-

-

- Do you believe
in climate change?

- I'm in the oil and gas
business.

- Uh-huh. - Okay, so...

anybody out there that doesn't
particularly care

for drilling or fracking
or things like that,

understand--understandable.

I believe the climate
has been changing

since the Earth was formed. Yes.

- Do you think that
it's man-made at all?

- I have no scientific
background myself

to make that decision.
I don't know.

- You ever hear of Google?

- Mm-mm. That's naive of us

to think that we can have
that kind of impact

on such a large space.

- 97% of scientists

say that climate change is real

and is an eminent threat.

- It is gonna change,
but I don't think it's

because of my--my lawn mower.

- All right. Anyone else have
anything to add

before I move on?

- I totally agree with that.

The cycle of nature
been going on

for millions of years.

- We've talked about
blue states.

We've talked about red states.

Let's talk about brown states.

Have you all ever
shit your pants?

That's so awful. I'm sorry.

That's so rude.
I'm in the South.

Have y'all ever shit your pants?

I got one.

I got one. I met a guy.

We dated two times.

And we're going
to the grocery store,

and I'm going in to get bread

and I come back out,
and he's gone.

It's like 100 degrees outside,

and my date is gone.

Next thing I know,
his sister pulls up.

And I'm like,
"Ha. Where's Kevin?"

She goes, "He shit his pants."

And I was like, "What?"

Anyways, I ended up
marrying him,

having two kids. - Oh, my God!

- And I have so many
poop stories

about his two children,
'cause DNA is very strong.

- So this date shit his pants
and you were like,

"This is the one."

- I was in bed, uh,

and you have that dream

where you think you're
going to the bathroom,

and you're not.
- Shitting dream?

- You know how you dream

that you're on the toilet?

- Yeah, peeing.

- Well, it's--it's the same.
Same thing.

- It must have been a real
mislead, like you went,

"Oh, it was just a dream.

Oh, no, I shit myself!"

- I have a long line of poopers.

They've slid in their poop.

They've wiped poop
over each other.

They've pooped out of trees.

They have pooped on each other.
- Out of trees?

- Mine's put me through it.

- It just happened,
and there I was.

Um, and I was wearing a dress
so I had a--

A thong on.

- Oh, God!
- So then you're like--

- Just like, split
down the middle.

- What do you do with this?

- And I drove to, uh,

Beaumont, Texas,
from College Station,

where I was working
at the time...

and I didn't make it.

- That's the whole ending?

You just shit your pants?

- Wasn't me.
I'll preface with that.

- Oh, he has a friend.
- He's talking for a friend.

- It was a friend. Yeah.

- A friend of mine's vacation
was ruined.

He was standing in front
of the mirror, shaving,

and decided he would...
just let one go.

Uh, needless to say, it was...

solid... -

- Not just a--
So as he clenched,

he threw his back out. -

- And ruined
the rest of his vacation

because he could not
stand up straight

or hardly walk.

- Your back okay now?

- Is your back okay-- - Ah!

- On my way home from college,
I stopped at, uh, P. F. Chang's

to get something to eat. -

That's your first--
- Driving home on I-20,

and I had a flat tire,

so I pull over
to change the tire

and start jacking the car up
and...

I think I struggled too hard
when I pushed one down

and pushed one out, I guess.

And just completely
just annihilated--

I mean, I couldn't even wear
the pants home.

- This segment was not--

was not sponsored
by P. F. Chang's.

Don't think of the name
P. F. Chang's

when you have diarrhea.

We would get sued.

So diarrhea. P. F. Chang's.

No.

Well, we've run the gamut:

Politics, shitting,

human rights--

- Which is all tied together,
really.

If you think about it.

- It really is.

We're all connected.

And you guys are now
liberal democrats.

I just made it happen.
And I'm Jesus.

And then just make me
disappear in a cloud of smoke,

or just play me saying this
and it will be embarrassing.

I came here to try to connect
with people

who maybe think differently
than me

and, you know,
we all are the same, really.

We all love our families,

we all care about our friends,

and we all have humiliating
stories that involve shitting.

- Absolutely.

- As you know, this season
I'll be interviewing people

who've experienced change.

My next guest
is a public school educator

who, after the fatal shooting
of an unarmed Michael Brown,

was moved to join the
Black Lives Matter movement

and become a civil rights
activist.

Please welcome DeRay Mckesson.

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you, too, friend.

So three years ago,

a protest broke out in Ferguson.

You were in Minneapolis
at the time,

and you decided you're gonna
drive nine hours to Ferguson,

join that protest,
and... take us through it.

- Yeah, so Mike got killed
on August 9th

and I was sitting on my couch
on August 16th

and I saw what was happening
on CNN,

I saw what was happening
on Twitter,

and they were just two
completely different stories.

And I believed the people
on Twitter more

than I believed
what was happening on CNN.

So I got in my car,
I drove nine hours.

I put a Facebook message up
that said

"I'm going to St. Louis.
I'm going to Missouri."

I don't know anybody
in the state of Missouri.

"I hope that somebody can like,
help me find a place to sleep."

And then I just got in the car.
I got tired, though,

and I ended up in Iowa
in the middle of the night.

And I pulled over
in front of a church

and just went to sleep.

I put some clothes over my head,

got back up, and I ended up
in the street.

And that was my story--that
was how I got in the street.

- Wow. That's amazing.
And so Black Lives Matter is,

by design, a leaderless group.

And because of that I think that

when there's not one voice,

the downfall of that
maybe a little bit--

Downfall's too strong
a word, Sarah.

But one thing about it

is that it can get a little
ambiguous what the cause is

or what the causes are.

Now, if you were sitting
with someone

who didn't know the tenets
of Black Lives Matter,

what would you tell them?

- So we think about the movement

just like we think about the
Civil Rights Movement, right,

not tethered to any one group,

but there's so many people
doing incredible work.

And we also think about this,
actually, as "leader full,"

that there are so many leaders
at every level--

they're leaders
in the classrooms,

they're leaders
at the local level

at the state level,
at the federal level,

and that we've created a space

where people can lead
wherever they are.

So you don't need one
messianic leader,

like no messiah here,
that we're empowering people

to lead wherever they are.
And when you think about

what empowerment means,
it's like I can't

actually give you power.
What I can do is help you

unlock the power
that you already have.

And that's what
the movement is about.

So we think about
the core tenets,

it's like the difference
between equality and equity.

So equality is everybody
gets the same thing.

Equity is people get
what they need and deserve

and that we are always
fighting for equity.

That like the end of racism
is about equity.

The end of sexism is about
equity.

The end of patriarchy
is about equity.

This is always a fight
about equity.

- Yeah.

Wow.

So what is the value of protest?

- Yeah, I think about
in those early days.

I'll never forget getting
tear-gassed the very first time

and in that moment I was like,

"America has to be better
than this."

So I think about protest
as telling the truth in public,

that we use our bodies
to tell the truth

that Mike and Rekia and Aiyana

and so many other people
should be alive...

that we disrupt board meetings
and commissions

to tell the truth that they
aren't using their power

in ways that benefit
the lives of people of color.

So you know, we can't fix
what we don't talk about,

and protest like forces us
to talk about these issues.

- Yeah. It's always bizarre
to me when...

people decide to not

take in the spirit
of the protest,

the reason for the protest.

They need to understand it
as something else

to go along with the narrative

that this protest
isn't okay, you know?

- Yeah, and we shouldn't
have to protest, right?

I'm the first person--
Like we should--

if voting had changed
everything,

we would have voted,
and that would have

made it all better,
if calling people--

If all those things were
the way to make change,

we wouldn't have been
in the street.

But the reality is,
we tried everything else

and it didn't work,
so we took to the street

to force people
to engage with us.

- Yeah. I mean,
I think social media

has been incredible
for that as well.

I mean, you've called Twitter

"where the revolution is,"
right?

- Yeah. I think about Twitter

as like the friend
that's always awake, you know?

- Ha ha ha!
- I'm tweeting about,

you know, "I need toothpaste,"
and, like, "Trump is wild,"

Right? Like both of
those things are true.

- I know. - And that's what I'd

tell my friend
if my friend was right here.

- So you're very powerful
on Twitter.

You have a great voice.
But you're not

the only powerful voice
on Twitter.

There's also... your vest,
which also has its own account.

- It does. - DeRay's vest

is an account on Twitter.

I would like to say
it's probably @deraysvest.

- It is. - Big question here.

Do you share the same
political views

as your vest? - I do, I do.

Now, the vest is a little
snippy sometimes.

I don't run the vest account.

I didn't start the vest account.

I think the vest account
is funny,

but people think that it's me.

So the vest will say
snippy things to people

and they're like, "I can't
believe you insulted me,"

and it's like,
I didn't do that, you know?

- You're like, "Vest,
you have to be nicer!"

- Literally,
I'm like DMing the vest,

like, "Please stop,"
like just chill out.

Like stop snapping at people.
I get it, but calm down.

- I love that you're
DMing the vest.

- Whoever runs it is hilarious,

but... sometimes it is
like a lot.

I'm like, "Okay, chill out."

- Okay, so, um...

you're really...
a beautiful speaker

and I would love to know

how you would approach

communicating with
unlike-minded people

in a way where we can
really hear each other.

- I think some of it
is making sure that

you're asking more questions
than you're doing talking

so that you understand
like the point of view

that the other person
is bringing.

And the other is making sure

that they're doing
the cognitive work.

So people ask me--
Police officers will say to me,

"Well, under what circumstances

"should the police be able
to kill somebody," right?

And I'll say to them,

"When can the police
kill your child?"

And then they're like,
"I don't know."

It's like, well,
I don't know either, right?

And I'm trying to get them
to work through this too.

I'm trying to hear them process,

because we just don't
approach the problem

the same way.
And because I think

I'm right about
some of these issues,

I don't need to preach at them.

I need to understand
where they're coming from.

And that can only happen

when they're actually doing
more of the processing work.

- Wow. Yeah.
That's communication.

It's communication.

If it's mentionable,
it's manageable,

as Mr. Rogers once said.

You have a brilliant podcast.

It's called Pod Save the People.

You talk about the steps
that each of us can take

to make a difference,
so take us through that.

- I think one is start
where you are, right?

They're like, "Harriet Tubman
didn't call me"

and tell me to be an organizer."

I saw a problem,
drove to St. Louis

because I thought
I could do something about it,

and, like, I started.
I did exactly

what I thought I could do.

Knowing that this always
starts out small--

Like, people--you know,
I had 800 followers

when the protest started.
I have almost a million now,

and, like, I started out small.

The third thing would be

learn a problem
and learn it well.

So the more proximity that
you can have to a problem--

like, so if you care
about reading,

you should actually, like,
see a kid learn how to read.

If you care about
criminal justice,

you should try and do
a ride-along

or visit a jail
or do whatever you can

to get as close as possible
to the problem,

read about it.
There are a lot of people

whose hearts
are in the right place,

but they actually aren't
close to the problem

in any way, and you gotta
be close to it

if you're trying
to make a difference.

And the fourth is that
you gotta have hope.

And there's a difference
between hope as magic

and hope as work. Hope as magic

doesn't actually mean
anything, but hope as work--

Like we know our tomorrows
can be better than our todays

because people, like,
work to make it happen,

and that's what gets us through.

- DeRay, thank you so much.
- So good to be here.

- DeRay Mckesson, everybody.

I cannot believe
the show is already over.

That went so fast.

It's already time
to say my prayers.

Dear God I don't believe in,

thanks for blessing me
with a great show,

a great interview, perfect skin,

and my really great
white man at a desk.

- Aw!

You know, Sarah,
it really hurts my feelings

when you say
you don't believe in me.

You created
the white man at a desk.

I bet it would really hurt
your feelings

if he didn't believe in you.

- No, of course Mather
believes in me.

I made him up. I write

everything he thinks and says.

- I don't know
what's real anymore.

Be careful, Sarah. Remember,

even though
I'm not part of your truth,

I'm part of someone else's.

That's something I learned
from your monologue.

- You listened to my monologue?

I listen to all my creations'

monologues, Sarah.

Now what was it
you wanted to tell me?

- Oh, um...

I guess I just wanted to say

that I'm sorry
I still don't believe in you.

It's nothing personal, I just...

I think that humans
probably made you up

to understand what is
beyond our comprehension,

you know, to impose meaning

on a seemingly cruel
and random universe,

and, of course, to stop us
from furiously masturbating.

I love it
when you masturbate, Sarah.

That's why I created it.

- You watch me masturbate?

Yeah.
I watch you masturbate. Yeah.

I watch
all my creations masturbate.

- - Oh.
- Ooh, speaking of

masturbation, gotta go.

Dame Judy Dench. Bye!

- That's four words.

Is he in a car?

Good night, America.

I "lerve" you.

- Well, I mean, I'm sure
everybody gets diarrhea

at some time or another.

But there was a bonfire

on the beach-- it got very dark.

It's kind of a gross
type of story.

And I really had to let loose,

so I kind of meandered off
and I pulled down my britches

and dropped it into the sand.

And then I felt--"Oh, my God,
I pooped my pants.

It's gonna be disgusting."

But I put my pants on

and--and God, we took a bus
back to--to the kibbutz.

And I get into my room,
I pull down my pants,

and God is in Israel!

I found out God is in Israel.

My pants were totally dry.

It was like a miracle from God.

Leave it to Israel.
They have God there.

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